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Just Another Tuesday · The Search

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just another Tuesday.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: When what we're shown becomes what we expect.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: For a long time, I couldn't figure out where some of my expectations came from.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Not the ones someone explicitly taught me.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: The quieter ones.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: The things that just felt like how life was supposed to go.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: What made the question stranger was that sometimes I knew better.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Intellectually, I could look at an expectation and think, that doesn't actually make sense.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: But knowing that didn't always change the feeling underneath it.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I started wondering, if I don't believe this anymore, why do I still expect it?
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: One possible answer came from writing fiction.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Writing changed the way I watch movies.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Once you've had to construct a story yourself, you start noticing how much gets left out.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: You choose which moments matter.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: You compress time.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: You skip the ordinary parts.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: You decide where the story begins and where it ends.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: I noticed this recently while reviewing a movie about a relationship.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: By the end, the conflicts had been resolved.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: The relationship had reached a satisfying place.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: The story worked.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: But where the movie ended was probably where the actual relationship would begin.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: There would be more disagreements.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Old patterns might return.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: New problems would appear.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: There would be ordinary Tuesdays that weren't worth putting in a movie.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: The movie wasn't doing anything wrong.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: It was selecting.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that made me wonder how well I understood that distinction
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: before I had enough experience of my own.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe some of my expectations came from things I had seen but didn't yet know how
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: to put in context.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Movies.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: TV.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Other people.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: The parts of life that happened in front of me while the rest happened somewhere else.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: None of it had to be fake.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's the part I hadn't considered.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: I kept wondering who or what had taught me to expect certain things.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: But maybe nobody explicitly taught me.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I inferred what was normal from what I was shown.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And what I was shown didn't have to be false.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: It only had to be incomplete.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: A highlight doesn't have to be false to give you the wrong idea.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to mistake the sample for the distribution.