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Zack S. Rudledge | The Christian Reeve Podcast | #92 | · The Christian Reeve Podcast

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  It's another episode of the Christian we've podcast.
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  But are you subscribed? If not make sure to like, share
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  and subscribe, spread the word about the Christian Reef podcast
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  and enjoy this episode. Hello and welcome to another
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  episode of the Christian Reef podcast.
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  Today's guest is an author, a personal trainer Fitness
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  Nutrition specialist and brain health trainer all the way from
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  New Jersey in the United States is name is Zach, s, Rutledge.
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  Welcome to the shows are They do.
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  Thank you so much for having me. This is great.
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  Thank you. Now, the pleasure's mine, man.
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  I got really excited. I actually did way more research
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  than I normally do for this because I always do a little bit
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  of research beforehand but with this, I actually went and read
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  your book if you could believe that.
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  Oh, thank you. It's a very short read.
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  Highly recommend it to everyone but yeah, let's get straight
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  into it. So it's called the official
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  depression relief Playbook. And when I read through this,
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  there were I think, I think it did.
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  I write some extra notes. Oh yeah, I did.
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  Oh, crikey, there's gonna be a lot.
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  I really, I really wanted to detail with this, all right.
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  And I find it very interesting because, you know, there's a lot
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  of books out there on and various theories on how to
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  approach depression stuff like that.
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  And I was curious because you've made, you've condensed it down
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  to a, you know, a very kind of short, read highlighting, some
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  key areas that people should focus on and I think it's good
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  as a kind of a starting point. For people, especially people
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  like maybe have never a kind of sought help, maybe are just kind
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  of come to grips with didn't with depression initially.
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  So yeah, it's a good little reader talk to us about like how
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  this book actually came to be and what readers can sort of
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  come to expect from it? Sure.
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  Well it came to because of covid.
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  So I think my friend put it best, he said covid is kind of
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  like shaking the leaves from a tree so I was working in video
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  production. And when that all kind of fell
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  to the side because everything was shutting down, you know, my
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  real, what do I really want to do?
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  Came out. So I'm actually, I don't know if
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  I mentioned this to, but I'm actually I'm going to start grad
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  school G's for the second time now, but this time for to become
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  an actual licensed therapist. So in the meantime, so I start
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  that in January, so but in the meantime, because a lot of
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  people had known my past and because Covid, kind of
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  heightened. A lot of things, let's say it
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  was its own challenge, you know, in a lot of different ways, a
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  lot of people are reaching out to me saying like, hey, I'm
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  struggling, you know what do you think I should do?
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  And what I did was I was I was going through and I was emailing
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  people and I was going through looking at a lot of the old
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  emails, I was sending people back when I was a grad school.
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  The first time in film School actually because they know my
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  past and I said this is getting crazy.
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  You know. I'm I must have sent, you know,
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  messages, the 20 different people.
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  I said I was going to compile this into a book because it's
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  gonna be way easier than I can say.
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  Go get the book. So that's how it came about.
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  Was it was almost almost by accident.
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  It wasn't like a plan thing. It was just really out of
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  convenience and then once people started getting back to me
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  saying that it was, you know, it was actually making a big
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  difference in their lives like oh, you know, maybe I should
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  start pushing this a little bit, you know.
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  Get some, get some eyes in front of this.
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  Yeah. If you had any feedback about
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  the book so far, what was the reception Into it.
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  So the feedbacks been surprising the the most surprising feedback
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  was from people who said that it was great for anyone because I'd
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  like friends reading it who aren't oppressed and they're
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  like this is actually really good just for people in general.
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  I was a God, that's really nice. That's what I was reading it as
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  well. I was sitting there like there's
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  some really good advice in here, you can tell that you're very
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  well-read and that you've read they set.
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  You know, when you come to sort of read certain books is that
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  everyone's read and like you never to be sort of insert those
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  into, like, your own kind of theories and approaches and
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  stuff. But I was reading it.
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  I was like, yeah, I've read something similar to this
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  before. This is good stuff, this is good
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  advice. It's good to appear in a little
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  short book like this. Yeah, well yeah, I'm glad you
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  said that, I made it short on purpose because the last thing I
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  wanted to do when I was 20 years old was, was read through 350
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  pages to get one or two ideas out of it, right?
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  I just didn't have the and I didn't have the energy to get
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  through. TV show.
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  It was, it was that deep of a depression.
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  So I made it short and purpose because I didn't want it to be
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  daunting and I made it like pound-for-pound punch for punch.
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  Those powerful thing I could in the most compact presentation, I
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  could really make. But yeah, another another like
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  really pleasant surprise was, I've been going on a couple
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  podcasts with actual psychotherapists.
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  And they've been saying, how much they loved the book.
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  So that was really cool. Almost like a, like, a valve.
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  A batian. Yeah.
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  So because they were like, yeah, I would recommend a lot of these
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  things too, so that was really nice.
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  Also. Yeah, he picks up on some good
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  points that I think you the word you used a dawn to.
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  I think that's a very good kind of word to describe.
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  Not only having to just read a big book like that potentially,
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  but also, when you're dealing with depression or something
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  similar, If you're receiving good advice, that's what I would
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  consider good advice you often. Told, you know, try to approach
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  things one step at a time. So, if you've got that big
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  goals, that seem really daunting, obviously, try to, you
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  know, complete little goals and help you get to that bigger go,
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  right? So, something like this is
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  perfect because yeah, if you're depressed, you're not going to,
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  as you said not. Well, you're going to want to
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  read some big book that takes like five hundred page.
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  I mean, like it's a struggle to even get out of bed in the
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  morning. You know what I mean?
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  Like that that in of itself is like a major Challenge.
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  And for those who don't suffer, that might sound a bit crazy.
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  Easy. But trust me, I hope you never
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  have to suffer from depression because it's one of those really
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  horrible things that people have to deal with.
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  I don't really suffer with it as much.
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  I've had like a cute bow tie suffer more from like anxiety.
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  That's my thing but I totally don't know where you're coming
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  from with regards to this. And yeah I think it's there
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  should be more kind of resources out there like this, where it's
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  a lot because as you said like it and it's frustrating as well.
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  There's so many books out there not just in In Psychology but
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  just in general that could be condensed into just those simple
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  ideas and I feel like a lot of the time you just listening to
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  the offers ego or waffle, do you know, absolutely.
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  Some of the stuff. It depends who's written it.
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  I mean, sometimes you get like really good stories, you know,
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  for instance, that was one of the things I liked about yours
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  was that it was that very there was like stories taken from your
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  life and kind of, you know, it was kind of told from the
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  perspective of it had like a human kind of feeling, do you
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  know them? Mean that makes sense.
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  Thank you. Yeah.
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  It's not like it's not just like, oh, I'm reading some book
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  and they given me some ideas and that's great.
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  It's like, hit here's. Here's like my personal
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  experience and something to connect with me, I because I
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  think that's more important. Especially when you're dealing
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  with depression or something, similar to that, you want to be
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  able to talk to someone who can relate to you.
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  Really? I mean, exactly.
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  And then like that's a big part of like the, the beginning part
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  of the book. And like I think the subtitle is
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  something like You got something to do with the, you know?
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  Advice from a guy who's lived it, or something like that.
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  And like, that was really important for me because I lived
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  it. So, like, I've read plenty of
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  those books that are more academic and they're like, it's
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  not really very human. So, you know, just getting
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  getting relating on that level. I felt like is an important way
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  to Ghana kind of get people into gear, right?
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  And and realizing I say in the book, you know, there are
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  different flavors, is the way I put a different flavors of
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  depression, you know, some people may have like a PTSD The
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  type thing, some people may be in grief, some people maybe,
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  which grief out argue isn't depression.
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  But, you know, we can get into that later.
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  He'd like some people have artists I make which means, you
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  know, they have a low-level depression that hangs with them.
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  And then when they come across traumatic events, they fall into
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  these deep pits that are harder to get out of.
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  So there's different types, right?
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  And I've been through a lot of them.
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  So, so yeah, I tried to make this human.
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  As I could, there is so many great quotes in this book.
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  I just want to read a couple of them, here's One right, drunk
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  edit sober, couldn't agree more with that one.
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  You are not a depressed person, but rather a person living with
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  depression. I want to Circle back to.
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  That is why you refer to something called the D-Day
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  approach. That's as you can see.
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  You know, what, exact talk us through the D-Day approach?
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  What exactly is that? So essentially, I believe that
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  there's no Silver Bullet for anyone when it comes to getting
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  out of that hole. Because that was one thing I was
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  trying to do was trying to find the one.
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  That's going to work when I was finally in gear, trying to, you
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  know, sort myself out. So, what we don't concentrate on
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  one thing, concentrate on everything, everything that you
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  can do. So there are theories out there
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  that depression, you know, is primarily a gut issue still
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  there giving because you actually create more serotonin
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  in your gut than you do in your brain.
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  So they're giving probiotics their theories that it's
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  inflammation. So, That's why I put things in
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  there about diet, getting your information down and they're,
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  you know, they're different theories about causes.
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  I believe that there can be married different causes.
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  And there's in the on the same way there's, you know, probably
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  50 different ways that you can battle it.
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  So if you're coming at it from first, the structure, right, and
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  your actual physical body. And then, so, you're trying to
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  sort out, you know, if there is inflammation Comes out of some
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  kind of certificate issue coming out of from the Mind issue
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  because I argue that your mind and your brain or well, it's
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  true, your mind and your brain are different things, right?
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  Your brains the organ your mind, you know, your mind can use your
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  brain. The problem is a lot of the
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  time, our brains are wired still for that prehistoric landscape
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  where we were looking out for the saber-toothed tiger.
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  So it was more advantageous to look out for the danger and see
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  the negatives as opposed to the pile of food because you have to
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  jump out of the way the saber-toothed Her right?
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  Send the food can wait, so you're more in tune to that.
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  So, yeah, it's just tried to come at it from everything,
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  which is really the way I got out of it, to be honest, you
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  know, and if you do a few of these things you'll you know
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  Notch up a few points. But if you do all of them,
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  you're really going to start to feel a difference.
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  Yeah. Again I just want to keep moving
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  through some of these quotes. I'm going to read the mold
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  because there's just so many, but like I had to just write
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  these down because they're just really good.
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  Depression lives in the past while anxiety.
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  Lives in the future, we must stay in the present moment.
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  One can only control right now. I completely agree with this
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  one. Like so much your apologies that
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  I'm having problems with my camera, but I'll keep going.
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  So basically. Yeah, as long as we can see you,
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  that's the main thing. So, basically, that my favorite
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  thing about this one is that it's just like I completely
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  agree with this concept of, you know, living in the moment.
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  I think that is what we must all do with everything, you know
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  what I mean? Like you can't live in the past
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  pass this dance buried and you can't live in the future because
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  you know, it's constantly changing and forming and it's
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  hasn't happened yet. So you got a limit them.
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  Oh yeah, yeah, which is obviously easier said than done,
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  right? You know, living in the moment
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  is pretty tough. But that's where I think one of
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  my one of my Turning points and I have had a lot of them is like
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  embracing challenge like like when I went to grad school for
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  the first time or even undergrad, it was like, it was
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  really tough for me, especially with everything I was dealing
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  with. So just really sinking in that
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  moment. Like if I had to read a, if I
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  had to write a paper, let's say I would sink into it and just
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  sink into opening the document and then just putting my name
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  out and just taking the little micro goals.
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  And that's what kind of focus is you focus as you in the moment.
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  It's kind of like, being in the flow, like, like when people say
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  You're In the Zone on, if they use that in the UK, but in
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  sports, they say, you know, you're in the zone, right?
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  Look, if your site fight fight Sports particular, isn't it
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  like? Okay, see ya.
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  So yeah, even well, even like doing podcasts, right?
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  The only thing we're thinking about, I mean, you're thinking
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  about your camera, but the only thing I'm thinking about right
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  now is like our conversation, right?
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  I'm just completely in this moment.
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  So either something, I think it depends.
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  I know I know what you mean. I'm capable of kind of
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  multitasking. Like if I was to like, you know,
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  quantify my brain power right now, it's 85% what you're
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  saying. And 15% the camera, it's slowly
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  becoming more 50/50 through the course, of what's going on
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  because this is frustrating happens to me.
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  It's happened last to stop. Yeah, just a side note.
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  I don't know what it is with zoom lately, but not having a
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  lot of luck with zoom lately. But you know what?
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  Oh god, this is a good example to write.
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  Stuff is gonna pop up. Yeah, there's gonna be problems.
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  Nothing's going to get always planned it.
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  So, what are you gonna do about this?
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  This camera issue is a metaphor for the obstacles that you face
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  in life and the barrier. It really, is it really is.
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  So like, you're not over there like screaming and throwing
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  things and freaking out. We're just rolling with it and
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  you know, continue our conversation words.
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  If I were in my deep depression, I would have been like oh of
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  course it figures. You know, the car will be going
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  out on me. You know, that kind of thing.
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  That's a really good point. No, I'm glad you actually raise
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  that, I couldn't agree more. There's been times when I've
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  lost it over stuff that just doesn't matter.
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  And it's taken me many years to get to this point now where
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  we're at where I can just kind of calm Lee approach these
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  things bit by bit. Like for instance, I've spoken
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  about I don't think I've spoken about it on the podcast before
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  but when it comes to kind of like didn't Anxiety.
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  One of the issues I've always had, is getting this kind of
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  like paralyzing feeling where I kind of feel like, I can't
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  really do much, like, it takes over both physically and, like,
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  it, physically. It's like that.
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  I don't know. It's like extreme.
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  I just start to know, like, sickness I guess, but it just
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  takes over and you like, It takes a while to get back in the
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  normal frame of mind. And now I know understand all of
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  those sayings like, you know, sleep on air or, you know, don't
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  make a decision when you're angry.
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  Like you know all of these things are so true.
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  Like you just can't do it because it will just completely
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  ruin any chance you have of being able to approach things, I
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  suppose kind of in a With a clear mind, right?
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  Right. So, so I mean I'm glad you
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  brought that up to because depression and anxiety tend to
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  travel in the same Pathways in the brain.
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  So you know, I mean still a lot of time people will you know
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  graduate from one and go to the other like that kind of thing so
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  they can both be there which mean?
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  Sorry so like so okay. So yeah so I actually Started,
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  you know, with anxiety that 10K sunk into a deep depression.
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  And then, as I was getting better, the depression went away
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  and I had, I was more of like an anxious guy.
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  So, you know, so you kind of I got to say, I think you can.
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  You can live with anxiety and sort of still function fairly
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  normally depends. How much it paralyzes you live
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  for me. Sometimes I get it a little bit
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  and it's dark. I can sort of ignore this.
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  I can manage it sometimes, but sometimes, it's as bad as
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  depression, sometimes it's like I'll fuck, I just I can't leave
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  the house today. I don't know.
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  This is really like when I get those days.
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  Yeah. I think like, if I was working
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  right now, I don't know what the fuck I would do.
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  I would be able to be in the office or be, I don't know
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  dealing with customers or something.
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  You feeling like this because it would as you said you won't be
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  able to approach the job with a clear mind it would affect your
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  judgment on things and then your I suppose your emotional
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  response and everything because it absolutely isn't as much as
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  you try to fight it a lot of the time.
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  I feel like you don't win that battle and depression is I 15
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  times worse. That's why like it took me many
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  years to understand fully what depression really is.
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  And I think we're all still trying to understand it fully
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  but in a nutshell it's not being sad or being depressed so don't
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  be sad or being upset. It's like a It's almost like a
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  nullifying effect isn't as a numbing experience.
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  It kind of just makes you like. And it depends.
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  Everyone has a different experience but what many people
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  have told me over the years and I've had the same thing as it
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  kind of like the Looms and sits over you and weighs down on you.
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  And it kind of Makes you demotivated.
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  I think would be the best thing. It's like it's like you just
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  don't want to do anything. Yeah.
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  Yeah it's hard to put into words, right?
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  Yeah, just why things like music exists, you know?
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  The kind of can describe the Indescribable undescribable
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  Indescribable. So yeah.
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  But as far as like anxiety, you know, a little bit of anxiety
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  that's going to exist, right? And that's normal and a little
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  bit of sad. Well, sadness is going to exist,
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  right? Not the same as the pressure.
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  When it comes to like things like panic attacks, one thing
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  that tends to help a lot of people that I know is like the I
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  don't know if you know the Tibetan approach.
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  Where like for instance, my fiance has panic attacks and I
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  tell her accept it, run towards it, run towards it.
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  Like run towards that panic attack instead of trying to
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  fight it, she's feeling that push against against against
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  against. And if she runs towards it, a
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  lot of the Time people feel just like it, melts away because
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  there's no longer that that struggle anymore.
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  What? It's one, it's one method that
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  tends to work for people when it comes to like there's acute
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  panic attacks, right? But yeah you know a little bit
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  of anxiety. It's going to exist but you
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  know, there's a certain point where you do need to start
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  getting help. Right?
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  So you know it's finding that what's when you start seeing
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  peeing on your life, like you said, if you're having problems
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  going to work, Okay. Now I, you know, guess are
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  taking action, right? Yeah, I got it depends like I've
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  always had what I would term is acute like I've never been.
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  I've never received medical help because it's never really
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  stopped me from doing things. I've always been able to sort of
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  exert some degree of control over it.
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  And I think that's the kind of a key point that we're sort of
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  covering at the moment is to what degree are you able to
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  control it? If you can control it and it
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  doesn't affect your life too much.
• 19:28
  Much then maybe you don't need help but I think for the wider
• 19:32
  majority of people that is simply isn't the case and then
• 19:35
  there's that battle of do. I don't I you know, and you get
• 19:40
  anxious about that, you get worried about that it's like
• 19:43
  should I will it work for and everyone's different like some
• 19:46
  people, for instance need the drugs, some people fare better
• 19:52
  with the therapy and no drugs, some people need both you know
• 19:54
  it's I think it's an individualistic thing you can't.
• 19:58
  Therefore, you can't generalize and in the same way, you can't
• 20:00
  generalize experiences either. Like, you know, one person
• 20:04
  describes depression in one way. The next person describes it in
• 20:06
  a different way. You know, like, remember I had a
• 20:09
  partner many years ago and she was dealing with various
• 20:12
  different. I think she had some bout of
• 20:16
  schizophrenia. So she was taking medication for
• 20:19
  that and I think she was also suffering from depression if I
• 20:23
  remember correctly. But anyway, she had medicine for
• 20:26
  it and she described it as being being like that giving that
• 20:30
  nullifying affect numbing like she couldn't feel anything and
• 20:34
  she was sad about that like she wanted to feel and so Yeah, you
• 20:43
  know, we, we kind of worked with it with each other together to
• 20:47
  help her get off them. And that was a very trying time.
• 20:50
  I'm a for good like, six to eight months, it was not easy.
• 20:54
  And I wouldn't recommend that. By the way, I think you should
• 20:58
  always with these things. At the very least, seek help
• 21:02
  from a therapist or talk to a professional about it because
• 21:06
  And then the bigger Point here is like the effect on the brains
• 21:09
  chemistry at brain chemistry. Sorry because everyone has a
• 21:14
  different effect reaction to these things.
• 21:17
  In her case, she was okay. But it took many many months for
• 21:21
  things to kind of normalize and dull down.
• 21:24
  And I think in the end it worked it worked out, worked well, but
• 21:27
  it was For a long time we were seeing like why those drugs were
• 21:33
  at least initially necessary, but I think it said a lot for
• 21:41
  having people around you that support you.
• 21:43
  You know what I mean? Because the whole time we were
• 21:46
  just kids we were just teenagers.
• 21:48
  Yeah. I had no idea how to deal with
• 21:49
  something like that. I just promised I just said like
• 21:53
  hey I'll be around and originally she didn't want me to
• 21:56
  stick around. It was this kind of thing like
• 21:58
  you know, I'll understand if you want to walk away kind of thing
• 22:02
  and I just couldn't do that. Like, I felt like it was Shitty
• 22:11
  to do that. Pardon my language.
• 22:12
  But like, you know what I mean? You got to kind of like if you
• 22:15
  if you say you love someone you care about someone.
• 22:19
  That's the reality. It's not, it's not how you see
• 22:21
  in the movies. It's it's been there for people,
• 22:25
  their low moments and showing empathy showing The you'll be
• 22:31
  there for them even when they're not so easy to deal with and
• 22:35
  stuff and right, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.
• 22:40
  And I've had many friends over the years Dove Dove, you know,
• 22:42
  had various different conditions and suffering with things that I
• 22:45
  think the biggest thing I've understood now is that, way more
• 22:48
  people suffer from these things than you think.
• 22:51
  And I think it's made me kind of think that maybe we're all on
• 22:55
  some sort of degree of a spectrum.
• 22:57
  So even people that say, Hey, I'm always fine.
• 23:00
  Never have issues. I wonder sometimes if maybe they
• 23:03
  have experienced something but they just didn't identify it as
• 23:06
  that. They just kind of thought.
• 23:07
  Oh, that's white weird. I probably had a bad day or a
• 23:09
  bad week then it's like maybe there was something more serious
• 23:14
  there. But you just yeah, I don't know.
• 23:15
  I think everyone has to kind of Judge it for themselves and you
• 23:21
  know, base their decisions on whether they get help based on
• 23:24
  that control. Do you really have at the very
• 23:27
  least if you're human you've been through some kind of
• 23:29
  trauma, right? Whether it's capital T or
• 23:32
  lowercase T, you've been through some kind of trauma if you're if
• 23:36
  you're a person but so yeah we I don't know what the health care
• 23:43
  is like over in the UK but over here in the US it's a shit show
• 23:46
  it's just really awful and Especially mental health.
• 23:51
  I mean, I have health insurance, I'm lucky enough to have health
• 23:54
  insurance which, which a lot of Americans don't and it doesn't
• 23:59
  cover mental health. So you know, if I were to have a
• 24:03
  mental crisis That I, what am I supposed to do?
• 24:08
  You know? Because a lot of my friends, you
• 24:10
  know, they want to go to a therapist but they can't afford
• 24:13
  150. $200 an hour to go sit and talk to someone and they need
• 24:17
  really need it. It's really bad, you know, and
• 24:19
  that needs to get sorted out and I'm getting a little off-topic
• 24:22
  there, but that's an important point.
• 24:26
  I mean, I'll have Customs a totally different.
• 24:28
  Like, in the UK, we have the NHS, but When it comes to that
• 24:34
  basic things, like a any and basic surgeries and stuff like
• 24:38
  that, you can usually get it pretty quickly straight away.
• 24:41
  But with everything else you're essentially on waiting lists, so
• 24:46
  it is free, but sometimes you'll be waiting for a long time,
• 24:51
  maybe half a year or maybe even more than that and the more and
• 24:57
  more that time goes on the more and more, they're trying to kind
• 24:59
  of there's always just talk about, they're trying to
• 25:01
  privatize Healthcare in the And I don't think they'll ever
• 25:04
  really successfully put it off. Because the NHS is, is an X is a
• 25:11
  record. Exactly.
• 25:12
  And Export bit of is, is kind of one of the last few remaining
• 25:16
  things that exist about the UK. That makes it kind of draw a
• 25:19
  reason to come here and live here and you know what I mean
• 25:22
  and and it's paid into by attack the taxpayers.
• 25:25
  It's supported by the taxpayer. So it makes sense.
• 25:28
  It's it kind of works but it is flawed, it's deeply flawed and
• 25:32
  there are specs to it that are being slowly privatized and
• 25:35
  stuff and, you know, it is what it is, but it's It kind of
• 25:41
  confuses me. Like what you've got hit there
• 25:43
  in America. Like I mean, I've heard stories
• 25:47
  but is it true that? Like, okay, let's say I'm in a
• 25:51
  terrible accident and I have to go to hospital.
• 25:58
  Be stitched up, maybe maybe even have surgery, whatever to stay
• 26:02
  alive. If I don't have the money then
• 26:08
  because I've heard two things I've heard either one You get
• 26:10
  operated without your concern and then you just get given the
• 26:14
  bill afterwards. So they just do everything.
• 26:17
  Save your life. Then you deal with a shit or is
• 26:20
  it sort of the alternative which is, oh, check this person,
• 26:24
  whether or not? They've got health insurance if
• 26:25
  they don't that will decide whether or not we keep them
• 26:28
  alive. No, they always do the surgery,
• 26:32
  they do save you. Yeah.
• 26:33
  Okay so problem is like the whole urine afterwards, right?
• 26:37
  Hmm yeah yeah I know I know quite a few people who are
• 26:42
  paying all these Hefty medical bills.
• 26:44
  You know ten years later because, you know, little bits
• 26:47
  at a time. Yeah, they do.
• 26:49
  They do they get here? Like I said, so the least they
• 26:52
  do sort of installments thing. They don't like the expect that
• 26:55
  kind of straightaway. Know that is an option.
• 26:58
  Yeah, yeah. I mean, But I know people who
• 27:00
  have had cancer and their insurance won't cover things,
• 27:03
  which is insane. Like, what are you paying for
• 27:05
  the insurance for? Yeah, that that doesn't make any
• 27:08
  sense to me because, although, while the the model white be
• 27:11
  flawed there at the same time, if you're yeah, if you're paying
• 27:15
  for health insurance, you would expect it to cover.
• 27:16
  Pretty much everything, you know.
• 27:18
  I mean, I mean, I understand if there's specialist stuff there
• 27:20
  that maybe have to pay a bit more for, but what's the point
• 27:23
  of paying for? I mean, my it just Insurance of
• 27:25
  any kind, you know? I mean, like I've had like, for
• 27:29
  instance, And one of my flatmates had an issue with his
• 27:32
  bike recently motorbike and the insurance wouldn't cover the
• 27:38
  issue. And I was like, what?
• 27:39
  So what, why is he paying for that insurance?
• 27:41
  Then like what what, what the fuck does it cover like?
• 27:45
  Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. We got the same thing here.
• 27:47
  Yeah, sweet. Well that when they try and get
• 27:49
  out things in there, like oh it's an act of God.
• 27:52
  We can't possibly cover you on that.
• 27:54
  And it's like how much money do you need?
• 28:00
  Scoundrels make every year. Come on.
• 28:02
  Can afford to pay out. Give me a bit of money.
• 28:04
  You mean, if you're paying me a couple of thousand now you
• 28:08
  probably made 100,000 for me in my life times and let's be real
• 28:12
  right. All right because if you think
• 28:14
  about, if you never claim, they're just getting free money.
• 28:18
  You're absolutely right. And I mean II know that's
• 28:22
  literally just explaining what insurance is there but you know,
• 28:26
  he is, it is a great concept because a lot of the time, most
• 28:29
  people don't Come on it ever and you are just paying perpetually
• 28:33
  and they're just lining their pockets from you.
• 28:35
  It's kind of like the whole point of insurance isn't it is
• 28:38
  it's kind of like a, what if scenario?
• 28:42
  It's like our keep paying you just in case, you know, just in
• 28:46
  case something happens, let's hope nothing happens.
• 28:49
  Touch wood but just in case. Yeah.
• 28:53
  Yeah, but right, you know what? It's like because they're so
• 28:55
  tight and because they are businesses.
• 28:57
  It kind of makes sense why they try to refuse to pay out because
• 29:02
  it's like they lose money when they do that.
• 29:04
  And it's like, yeah. But how can you justify not
• 29:08
  paying when you earn that much money, friend that many people
• 29:12
  every single day at lie? Exactly.
• 29:14
  And that's kind of what it comes down to, right?
• 29:16
  I feel like, you know, and I don't know what the answer is.
• 29:18
  It's way too complex for my mind but, you know, I feel like your
• 29:22
  mind is part of your body and it should be somehow covered, you
• 29:25
  know, for dark. Okay.
• 29:28
  Now, 100% body cannot live without the mind.
• 29:31
  You know. It's come on.
• 29:33
  Yeah, it's crazy outside of what appears in your book what other
• 29:37
  useful tips. Could you give to people
• 29:38
  suffering with depression outside of my book?
• 29:42
  Yes. Is there anything, maybe that
• 29:43
  you didn't have space for in the book or, you know, maybe you
• 29:46
  thought about later? Yeah I did I did.
• 29:52
  And it sounds maybe a little simpler silly, but I wish I had
• 29:58
  said this, it's really important.
• 30:01
  And I would have put this in a hole.
• 30:02
  Like, I have a mindset chapter, it's really important to
• 30:06
  practice forgiveness and, of course, practice forgiveness
• 30:09
  with yourself. And that's what everyone always
• 30:10
  says, right? And, and that's a given I say,
• 30:14
  but you've got to really forgive other people because everyone
• 30:20
  else in your life at that. Moment ads are they don't
• 30:24
  understand. Yep.
• 30:26
  Even if somebody's been through a deep depression, they don't
• 30:30
  completely understand your specific scenario.
• 30:34
  Nobody would have understood my specific scenario.
• 30:37
  So you have to forgive, you know, the, the like misguided
• 30:46
  ignorance advice or yeah, just their ignorance or you know,
• 30:51
  people Says something off the cuff that you know, lands the
• 30:54
  wrong way, they just don't get it.
• 30:55
  So you have to forgive that maybe I'll add that to the book
• 31:00
  that there were people in my life.
• 31:01
  Like I've reached out very few times but when it's really
• 31:04
  gotten bad, I have reached out and there are certain people
• 31:08
  that just say straight away, you should get medication and I'm
• 31:13
  like, I don't want to do that. I don't like medication and I
• 31:16
  like the concept. I don't want to touch it, you
• 31:18
  know, because I know what I need like as And that might sound.
• 31:23
  We make me sound a bit, you know, silly like or how can, you
• 31:26
  know you're not a professional is that?
• 31:28
  Whoa, look, I've noticed over the years that when I talk to
• 31:32
  someone and they understand and they're empathetic and they just
• 31:35
  shut up and listen and don't try and like, tell me what to do and
• 31:38
  I just listened and are there for me.
• 31:41
  I suddenly feel 100 times better.
• 31:45
  So, what I need is understanding people and unfortunately,
• 31:51
  they're very hard to come by, because most people will
• 31:55
  firstly, Most people and I've said this on the podcast before.
• 31:58
  So sorry for repeating most people confuse sympathy with
• 32:02
  empathy and they're very different sympathy.
• 32:05
  I feel is being like yeah. Yeah, I feel so bad for you.
• 32:10
  Yeah. So, but I was tragic just
• 32:12
  tragic. Here's what I would do.
• 32:15
  Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, right, A lot of times people just offer
• 32:18
  their advice unsolicited but what I understand it's don't get
• 32:23
  me wrong. I'm not sitting here trying to
• 32:24
  paint a perfect picture of my Myself I for years did not
• 32:27
  understand the complex concept of empathy.
• 32:30
  I was even told that I lacked empathy by certain people and
• 32:34
  the whole bands, up fair enough, I didn't get it.
• 32:37
  And in more recent years now I get it empathy and this is kind
• 32:44
  of simplifying it but this is what I understand.
• 32:46
  Empathy is when you see someone upset, you go sit down next to
• 32:49
  them and you say, hey, And they say, they might say yes and
• 32:57
  maybe they'll talk and you sit and listen and you just there
• 32:59
  for them, give him a hug, get them, food, whatever, whatever
• 33:02
  is comforting, but more often than not, they'll say no.
• 33:08
  And they might sort of want you to leave or something and you
• 33:12
  know, best thing. I think you can do in that
• 33:14
  scenario just speed that Don't say anything just be there.
• 33:20
  Operate as normal, you know, don't make a big issue out of
• 33:24
  what they're dealing with. Don't don't make them feel like
• 33:27
  they're in issue or like they're doing something wrong, just be
• 33:30
  there. And the person will naturally
• 33:33
  open up because they want to talk about it, but they want to
• 33:36
  feel comfortable, they don't want to feel like they're a
• 33:38
  burden, they're an issue. Like if they talk about it,
• 33:42
  there's going to be a problem. Bell, open up when they're ready
• 33:46
  to open up. It's your job to just be present
• 33:50
  and be there. And listen to many people.
• 33:53
  Open their mouths and just start talking and bla bla bla bla bla
• 33:55
  bla black. No shut up.
• 33:57
  Listen, That's empathy in my opinion.
• 34:02
  I'm with you there. No, I don't think that's great.
• 34:05
  That's great. But I think it that that and
• 34:08
  again, I think it takes a long time to learn that it's, you
• 34:12
  know, some people. There were people that said to
• 34:14
  me over the years, when I would say they would say, are you lack
• 34:18
  empathy? And I was at, I just don't
• 34:19
  understand the like or this is a natural thing.
• 34:21
  How can you not naturally have empathy and it's like, well,
• 34:25
  when I was growing up, I wasn't really shown it a lot to be
• 34:28
  honest. I mean Yeah, I had supportive
• 34:30
  parents and stuff, but like, sometimes they would like
• 34:34
  sympathy and empathy, you know, sometimes they would be a bit
• 34:37
  difficult, you know, they were just different people, they had
• 34:40
  their own stuff going on, you know, that's the thing.
• 34:43
  We always forget growing up is our parents, our people, to our
• 34:46
  families are people too, absolutely.
• 34:50
  But I always looked at that as, like a okay.
• 34:54
  Maybe, you know, maybe I just need to the problem was, I was
• 34:58
  quoting this The I needed to be like you no more stronger.
• 35:03
  I had to stop being weak. I had to, you know, come and do
• 35:07
  all this stuff. And it's like, That was all
• 35:10
  wrong to think that way. But that was back then and you
• 35:13
  know, the world was different things with different times with
• 35:16
  different these days. There's okay to come out and
• 35:22
  kind of talk about these things and people will be more
• 35:25
  understanding and there's more resources and stuff out there.
• 35:28
  But at the same time and here's something that people don't
• 35:30
  always talk about enough. And I think I mentioned this in
• 35:34
  the podcast before but apologies again, if I repeat if it
• 35:38
  sometimes things you know they come up again.
• 35:39
  We've had a few guests on here that have spoken about mental
• 35:41
  health and stuff. So you know, While Society tells
• 35:50
  you, it's okay to open up and talk about these things in
• 35:54
  actuality. When you're in companies working
• 35:57
  in companies, it's very rare that when you tell them you're
• 36:02
  dealing with something that they actually will be supportive and
• 36:06
  take that into account. A lot of the time, they'll just
• 36:08
  use that against you because you will be classed in a kind of
• 36:15
  liability category. Now you're like potentially
• 36:21
  problematic and then there's also the element of like, you
• 36:25
  know, if they treat you badly, you could potentially sue them.
• 36:29
  So they've got that in the back of their mind, but the bigger
• 36:32
  issue is our reliability or you know, and because here's the
• 36:37
  thing, so many companies. And I'm talking about big, big
• 36:39
  company, not startups that, I'm sure there's plenty of companies
• 36:42
  out there that are decent and have good ethics and stuff.
• 36:44
  I'm just talking about those big, big companies.
• 36:46
  You see the big major Providers, who they paint this picture of
• 36:50
  being great employers and workplaces.
• 36:53
  And, you know, we're, we're there for everyone.
• 36:55
  You are having hard times, you know, wouldn't even pay for your
• 36:57
  therapy, you know, like but then when you actually, try to get
• 37:04
  that help and you tell them hey I'm suffering, you know, hey
• 37:07
  maybe maybe I need a week off you know, maybe I'm not doing so
• 37:12
  well, suddenly You become a problem.
• 37:19
  And I seen this in many companies where It won't fire
• 37:23
  you straight away because you could sue them, but they'll find
• 37:30
  a way to get rid of you. Yeah.
• 37:32
  They'll find a way. They'll construct a series of
• 37:37
  events. Or I like to say, you know, a
• 37:41
  series of check marks against you and then the below, sorry,
• 37:46
  we have to let you go. You know, it's just all these
• 37:48
  different things. It's just not working our best
• 37:51
  of luck blah, blah, blah, right. Hmm.
• 37:54
  But it's BS and it's hypocrisy and existing in so many other
• 37:59
  things not just in, in depression and mental health,
• 38:01
  but like, ageism, sexism racism, all of those things still exist
• 38:06
  in workplaces. I like to call it, like it is.
• 38:09
  The to tional problem you know like like institutional racism
• 38:14
  is a very big one but I think yeah there's a big
• 38:19
  discrimination against mental health still, even though we are
• 38:23
  kind of going in moving in the right direction, I think it's
• 38:26
  still there because you know, companies, people forget
• 38:30
  companies, are there to make profit businesses, are there to
• 38:32
  make profit, right? So people having bouts of
• 38:36
  depression and mental health issues and stuff.
• 38:39
  That means they're losing money because you're not working and
• 38:42
  that's the only way they see it, you know, and I've worked for
• 38:46
  companies. And again, I'm not saying all
• 38:48
  companies, like, I like this, there are good companies out
• 38:50
  there. I need to keep reiterating that
• 38:52
  because people, always take my words out of context and I go,
• 38:55
  he's single companies are bad. Like I work for a company and
• 38:58
  they're not like that, but it's like my experience is, you know,
• 39:06
  It's not always how you think it is.
• 39:09
  Like, it isn't even the recent couple of years that I learned
• 39:12
  that like, hey, Char is not there to support like the
• 39:17
  employees. But rather to improve support
• 39:20
  the interest of the business and the clue is the clues in the
• 39:23
  name resources. Right?
• 39:26
  Right, right. That's how you see.
• 39:28
  You are a resource and yeah, I don't know, I guess, I guess my
• 39:33
  whole point with this is very long-winded point.
• 39:35
  So I do apologize to our list. Some viewers.
• 39:37
  But I just think there needs to be less of a stigma against
• 39:41
  mental health because everyone has a different thing that
• 39:44
  sometimes. Yeah, sometimes it's very
• 39:46
  long-term and people need a long, long time to address their
• 39:49
  issues but sometimes it can be just a small bout.
• 39:51
  Sometimes if you just give someone a bit of time, couple of
• 39:54
  weeks, that'd be great for like six months after that, you know,
• 39:59
  sometimes not always. But I'm saying like sometimes if
• 40:02
  you've ever run that exactly. Yeah.
• 40:05
  Yeah, it's so. So back to what you said that's
• 40:08
  interesting is I never thought of that.
• 40:09
  I've never had like a corporate job and work for very small
• 40:13
  companies. I never thought of it that way
• 40:15
  but you know, in the same way, I guess, just in in anyone seeking
• 40:20
  help, it takes bravery, right? It's a shame, it would take that
• 40:23
  extra bit of bear bravery to seek help because you're worried
• 40:26
  about your job, I would, I know it's there but I would hate for
• 40:32
  that to be a little I know it's a limiter.
• 40:36
  I would hate for that to be the limiter, like the the thing,
• 40:39
  keeping you from getting help. If you're in that situation, I
• 40:45
  think you don't just do it to yourself in a way.
• 40:49
  I mean, you, you know, of course, you get this, but you
• 40:53
  would hope that the company would support you because you
• 40:55
  want to sort these people out and get them help, and you would
• 40:57
  have a better employee, but if you are afraid, let's just say,
• 41:01
  you know, you don't have a supportive system at work, you,
• 41:04
  you owe it to to yourself. You owe it to your family to
• 41:07
  find another way to get the help.
• 41:09
  It's something that it can't wait, you can't just wait for a
• 41:12
  perfect work situation because there may not ever be a perfect
• 41:16
  work situation, right? You may get a different job and
• 41:19
  it may not be there too. So yeah.
• 41:20
  It takes bravery but you this is your life.
• 41:25
  You got to have The Bravery to find help somehow.
• 41:29
  Yeah, I mean, I think my advice would just be Avoid telling your
• 41:37
  employer, I think, because, yeah, Dad.
• 41:44
  I just feel like they're not going to support your best
• 41:46
  interest and it's, like I said before, you're treated as an
• 41:50
  asset. So, right.
• 41:52
  And I've seen it, I've worked for companies, you know, you'd
• 41:54
  be there like seven years, 10 years, and they'll just fire.
• 41:58
  You like that. It's don't need you anymore.
• 42:00
  Damn shame. It's really terrible because All
• 42:03
  human, right? We've all been through this
• 42:05
  traumas like oh yeah, no. I mean, again, it's about asking
• 42:08
  for sympathies but asking for the empathy and the respect of
• 42:12
  the company that you're putting all this hard time and effort
• 42:14
  and work into and you want a little bit.
• 42:17
  It's like when you, when you ask for something, you don't get it.
• 42:19
  And I know I'm paying a very negative picture here, but I
• 42:22
  guess I'm just saying to people like be be wary at that, you
• 42:24
  know, mean could be cognizant of that like It's a job, that's all
• 42:30
  it is. And there's many jobs out there
• 42:32
  and if you are going through a difficult time, Just try to kind
• 42:37
  of focus on yourself in that moment, you know, everything
• 42:40
  else is secondary. Yeah, seek out that help.
• 42:43
  And, you know, there's all, yeah, just seek out the help.
• 42:46
  I mean, that's the most important thing, right?
• 42:48
  It don't ya. During your studies of
• 42:53
  psychology at University. Did it accurately convey mental
• 42:57
  health conditions when you were learning about them?
• 43:05
  That's a hard one because it's so varied.
• 43:14
  It's so varied. Like we were saying earlier, you
• 43:17
  know, like well that's actually one of the reasons I come at it.
• 43:20
  Like I say in the book at this need a approach, right?
• 43:21
  Coming at it from every angle because I know somebody who had
• 43:25
  some very serious mental health issues because it's awful.
• 43:31
  Dropped on his head as he was a baby, okay?
• 43:35
  Just, just terrible, right? But his situation is going to be
• 43:40
  the same as anyone elses, right? So saying accurate, No one
• 43:45
  picture can be accurate, you know?
• 43:47
  No. One picture can be accurate.
• 43:50
  Yeah, that's my best to answer. It sounds like a lazy answer,
• 43:53
  right? Because no, dude, I kind of get
• 43:55
  it, get it because like, when I get people asking me about
• 43:57
  what's the best workout for me? What's the best diet for me?
• 44:00
  I hate saying it. Depends because it you know, but
• 44:03
  it does. It depends on your goal pens.
• 44:04
  Are you an ectomorph warning or an endomorph?
• 44:06
  He liked it. You know.
• 44:08
  It really is an individual individual thing.
• 44:11
  Yeah, I guess I was just curious because you know at the
• 44:14
  scientific level and educational level, I do often wonder if you
• 44:19
  know, because they have like their own gender and they're
• 44:22
  trying to like, teach get you through, it is.
• 44:24
  I mean, universities a business. They're trying to push you
• 44:27
  towards that Academia. True.
• 44:29
  Sometimes I wonder if they actually teach Things, as they
• 44:32
  are accurately or if you know, Corners a car.
• 44:36
  Or if, you know, maybe it's only one particular Root of think, I
• 44:43
  don't know how to put it, right. Yeah.
• 44:45
  Like they would only be saying, you know.
• 44:47
  It will only be talking about medications and they wouldn't be
• 44:48
  talking about relationships or right?
• 44:50
  Yeah. They have their one thing that
• 44:52
  they're pushing. Yeah, actually this is actually
• 44:54
  pretty interesting. I'm the program, I'm starting in
• 44:57
  in the spring is a mind-body program so it's called Dance /
• 45:03
  movement therapy, right? So it's a traditional, I don't
• 45:07
  know what they're called me, UK, but L PC or licensed
• 45:09
  professional. Counselor, which is a
• 45:11
  psychotherapist. But it's with this, this track
• 45:16
  this, this extra certification called Dance /, movement
• 45:19
  therapy. So I'm not doing the dance
• 45:20
  stuff, right? But the movement therapy.
• 45:22
  The idea is that we keep score in our body that we, when we've
• 45:26
  gone through these traumatic events, you know, we're carrying
• 45:29
  it in our gut or carrying it in our back, you know, you're
• 45:31
  carrying your stress there and which is great.
• 45:34
  You know, we're getting our bodies evolved to which I think
• 45:36
  can only help in you know that talk therapy.
• 45:40
  But also I think Ubi great recruiting tool, excuse me,
• 45:44
  especially for men because when I was 20 years old, not that I
• 45:48
  would get into the dance stuff but getting into the workout
• 45:51
  stuff, okay, that could get me to open up.
• 45:53
  That's it, that's a way to recruit me.
• 45:55
  I'd be like, okay, I'm not one of those quote unquote, broken
• 45:57
  people who goes to therapy but maybe I can go to this movement
• 46:00
  thing. It's this alternative route
• 46:02
  that, you know. Okay, we're moving.
• 46:04
  And we're and then now I can kind of open up and I feel like
• 46:06
  it's a, it's a more integrative thing.
• 46:09
  So yes, Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so I'm like, I'm really
• 46:13
  stoked on that aspect of it. Yeah.
• 46:16
  So just going back to the workplace stuff because you
• 46:21
  mentioned that you haven't worked for big companies.
• 46:23
  Any really small companies, but with those companies, did you
• 46:26
  ever experience sort of discrimination in the workplace?
• 46:28
  As a result, your depression? I did it ever become apparent to
• 46:31
  them. Or did you just keep under wraps
• 46:33
  or no? Because they'll play.
• 46:35
  I was lucky enough to where the police's I worked.
• 46:37
  Everybody's quirks were pretty Out in the open.
• 46:41
  Oh, right. Okay, yeah.
• 46:43
  So I mean, I worked in it in, in, in Creative environments.
• 46:49
  So like, you know, it was very clear when people are those CD.
• 46:52
  It was and people were open about it and people were very it
• 46:55
  was very clear when people had trying to think of some other
• 46:57
  ones people had OCD was the big one especially because people
• 47:03
  when they do, I worked in video production and people will do
• 47:05
  the lighting and unless the lighting was like absolutely
• 47:09
  perfect, where is it? Dude, it's not going to matter,
• 47:12
  it's not going to matter. I like, there is no such thing
• 47:15
  as perfect when it comes to lighting, right?
• 47:17
  But it had to be absolutely perfect in their mind in their
• 47:19
  chutes. Look at the laid by, you know,
• 47:21
  an hour or something. So it doesn't want that there
• 47:23
  was stuff like that. If it's less about wanting
• 47:26
  Perfection and more about like a sort of a metaphor for a lack of
• 47:30
  control in their lives it's like this is the only thing I have
• 47:33
  control over in my life. So God damn it.
• 47:35
  I'm going to make sure I get the most out of this.
• 47:38
  That's that's absolutely Part of it.
• 47:40
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 47:41
  But it was interesting. Yeah.
• 47:42
  So like anything that was that was out there like we had people
• 47:45
  with with alcoholism and it was it wasn't open.
• 47:48
  Yeah. So it was like yeah and so we
• 47:51
  were all pretty supportive of each other.
• 47:52
  How do you navigate that though if you're working in a sort of a
• 47:55
  Young office where presumably everyone kind of goes out for
• 47:58
  drinks every now and again like how do you kind of feel of it
• 48:03
  right? Okay, fair enough, fair enough.
• 48:07
  Well you know, He was a person, and it was, you know, bouts of
• 48:14
  not drinking bouts of drinking, bouts of being great, bouts of
• 48:19
  bad behavior. Bouts of being a sweetheart,
• 48:21
  bouts of being argumentative, and we just had to kind of roll
• 48:25
  with it, which it, which was actually a pretty nice
• 48:26
  environment because they would, we would roll with the guy who
• 48:30
  had the OCD, we would roll with, you know, it was just kind of
• 48:33
  like we accepted it and worked with the best we could and
• 48:35
  supported each other. Yeah, we're proof Steel company
• 48:38
  because I think they look kind of like what I see.
• 48:40
  Literally a lot companies, I feel these days would not accept
• 48:44
  that and we're not tolerate that.
• 48:45
  So it's refreshing to hear of a company that sort of does and
• 48:48
  then works together to resolve it.
• 48:50
  So I think that's a better way of approaching it anyway because
• 48:53
  we were a team, you know, you got to fill in each other's
• 48:55
  weaknesses and a relatively small team.
• 48:57
  So there are going to be weaknesses and it yeah, it just
• 49:00
  wasn't that that corporate mindset.
• 49:02
  It would be were it was, you know, we're doing like TV
• 49:06
  production and stuff like that. So yeah.
• 49:09
  Fair enough. Fair enough.
• 49:13
  What's a misconceptions about the realities of depression in
• 49:17
  your opinion or experience? One thing that really gets me
• 49:21
  mad? Like I had this conversation
• 49:27
  with the girl recently who she she was openly one of those
• 49:31
  people who was like who essentially thought you could
• 49:35
  yell at the person into snap out of it snap out of it you know
• 49:40
  I'm gonna say just just a to Jedi force up for one second
• 49:43
  like yeah what person thinks that that's going to work as not
• 49:47
  just to deal with depression or something?
• 49:48
  But just in general like what do you expect when you're talking
• 49:52
  to another human being and you start shouting at them?
• 49:55
  Or just being generally, like, like just nasty.
• 49:59
  Like, well, what do you expect is going to happen?
• 50:01
  Like either that person's going to like burst into tears and be
• 50:05
  like really broken down and like really upset because of that or
• 50:08
  they're going to react very violently and angrily towards
• 50:11
  you. Like there's no kind of they're
• 50:12
  not going to be like oh that worked.
• 50:15
  I feel great, thanks for that. You really shouted me back into
• 50:19
  normality like it's kind of like tough love on.
• 50:24
  I guess is the way she's so that, that whole concept is
• 50:27
  toxic as anyway. Yeah, well, I agree with all of
• 50:31
  that. Don't get me wrong.
• 50:32
  I think sometimes. Yeah, tough love.
• 50:34
  If you're talking about being brutally honest, with people.
• 50:38
  Yeah, I totally agree with that. Yeah, that that pep talks have a
• 50:41
  place, have talked to her place which I'm you know I you read
• 50:44
  the book, I'm trying to kind of you can do that with respect.
• 50:47
  You can do that in a way where you're treating that other
• 50:48
  person with respect, what AB stayed out there with the whole
• 50:51
  shouting thing. That means that person has zero
• 50:54
  respect for you. It's, it was kind of sad, you
• 50:58
  know, I will say she had been through her own traumas, I'm
• 51:01
  sure. So, you know, that's part of
• 51:03
  part of our job, right? Is like, okay, like I said
• 51:06
  before, forgiveness for them, they don't understand.
• 51:10
  At the same time, you do have to give yourself.
• 51:13
  Those pep talks, I can say, okay, this isn't my fault, but
• 51:16
  that doesn't mean I'm stuck there.
• 51:18
  You still have to be driven to get out of it.
• 51:21
  You still hold some. Some responsibility, even though
• 51:24
  something What happens to you? Let's say like you were using
• 51:28
  the accident metaphor before that you know car accident a car
• 51:31
  hits me. My car skids out in the middle
• 51:34
  of the highway. It wasn't my fault still.
• 51:36
  Partly my responsibility to get that car out of the way so
• 51:39
  traffic can resume, right? It's not like I'm just gonna sit
• 51:41
  there. Yeah, so yeah, it's some people
• 51:45
  with though, that's the thing, some people worthy.
• 51:46
  But what some people would be like, oh, that's not my problem.
• 51:50
  All right, right. Well, I have to deal with that,
• 51:53
  all right? Yeah, so so So it's that's part
• 51:56
  of my message. This is partially you know your
• 51:58
  responsibilities right even though it's not your fault, you
• 52:02
  know? I don't know I mean we could
• 52:05
  talk about metaphors all the time but all you know a bunch
• 52:08
  that's why I tend to communicate through metaphors but yet part
• 52:12
  of this is your responsibility and part of that's kind of like
• 52:15
  energizing, you know. It's not like I'm helpless, you
• 52:19
  know it's been if I see this as partially responsibility even
• 52:22
  though it's not my fault but it's a part of that is Like it's
• 52:26
  almost like a to me. It feels like this breath of
• 52:28
  fresh air. It's like, okay.
• 52:29
  Let's let's let's I have some control here in this situation,
• 52:33
  you know, and you and everyone absolutely does.
• 52:36
  You have control not of everything.
• 52:39
  Nobody has controlled everything, right?
• 52:42
  But you know, what's that? What's that saying?
• 52:47
  You don't have control of what happens to you, but you have
• 52:49
  control of how you react to it, right?
• 52:53
  And, you know, you can react to it.
• 52:55
  Anyway, of your choosing. So, yeah, it's really important
• 52:59
  that we take some responsibility.
• 53:00
  Here is probably the most important aspect of it.
• 53:03
  Really. It was only really what I
• 53:06
  started doing that in my life that I notice things got a lot
• 53:08
  better and it's refreshing as well.
• 53:10
  Like take lying as a concept if you just stop lying and just
• 53:17
  say, hey, yeah, shit. That was me.
• 53:18
  I fucked up, like, you'd be surprised how well people react
• 53:21
  to that, initially, they might be a bit like angry at you but
• 53:24
  that Respect you because you tell the truth, a lot of people
• 53:27
  don't. And I think a lot of people kind
• 53:30
  of just let it go like lying, everyone does that?
• 53:34
  And it's like nah, not everyone. And if you don't lie and you
• 53:40
  tell the truth, I think it shows that you're showing respect to
• 53:42
  that person. You respect them and you, you're
• 53:45
  not treating them like an idiot, you know, you're treating her
• 53:48
  with the respect they deserve. So yeah, I think that's that's a
• 53:50
  big big. I got a quick little practical.
• 53:54
  Vacation tip so let's just say you mess up doing something
• 53:58
  right. And you somehow offend me in
• 54:03
  some way or whatever one, like like thing that helps really
• 54:08
  well is instead of you just let's just say, you send me an
• 54:11
  email apologizing saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm
• 54:14
  sorry, right? Okay fine, another group but
• 54:17
  this is this is the way I would do it.
• 54:19
  If you sent me an e-mail, you said, I'm sorry in or you said,
• 54:24
  I thank you so much for understanding.
• 54:26
  Thank you, thank you. Thank you for forgiving me.
• 54:28
  Thank you for That way you're thinking I would much rather
• 54:32
  hear a thank you. You're putting this on me as
• 54:34
  opposed to just I'm sorry. So and just saying I'm sorry,
• 54:36
  I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Thanks so much fun, you know,
• 54:41
  you say you can say you're sorry but then say thank you so much
• 54:43
  for understanding. This has been so tough.
• 54:45
  Thank you for, you know, not blowing up on me.
• 54:48
  You know, then it's like oh that I don't feel pretty good about
• 54:50
  it. So, you know, it's just a little
• 54:52
  communication to there that we learned.
• 54:54
  No. I see what you mean.
• 54:56
  I think that that really does work well.
• 55:00
  Yeah, I've said that two people from my past previous Partners,
• 55:04
  friends. I've always sort of thank them
• 55:06
  for the lessons. They taught me and what it kind
• 55:08
  of brought to my life. So, I think there's something to
• 55:10
  be said for that. She's returning it, it's not
• 55:12
  just about you, you're turning it into the relationship.
• 55:16
  Yeah exactly. Yeah, moving it forward.
• 55:23
  Do you have any plans to kind of extend the work for the official
• 55:27
  depression relief? Playbook?
• 55:28
  Maybe do future additions or second edition or maybe just a
• 55:34
  Sikh or something like that? You got any plans for that as of
• 55:37
  right now? I don't what I most likely lost,
• 55:42
  I have a pretty packed packed life at the moment.
• 55:45
  I'm I'm shooting a full-length film in a couple months.
• 55:48
  I'm getting married in October. Wow.
• 55:51
  Start. And I started grad school in
• 55:53
  January so it's not ready. Tenth time.
• 55:56
  Yeah. So along with that I'm getting.
• 55:58
  I'm finishing up a certification to become a yoga teacher, so
• 56:02
  there's a lot going on right now.
• 56:04
  So right now I'm just getting this out and I feel like this is
• 56:07
  a really good starting point. Like you said, I feel like I've
• 56:10
  I'm really proud of this right now.
• 56:12
  After I finish up my schooling, I've got to imagine I would beef
• 56:16
  this thing up and make it a little longer.
• 56:19
  And, you know, I don't want to go too long.
• 56:21
  Like I like you said before I want to keep it pretty short.
• 56:24
  I've got to imagine I'll add more but immediate plans.
• 56:27
  No, I'm still, you know, I stand by this book, every word of it.
• 56:31
  I stand by it. So right now just trying to
• 56:34
  trying to get it out and it's run as many people as possible
• 56:37
  to tell us about your decision to not proofread or edit the
• 56:40
  book before publishing. I think a lot of that's just
• 56:43
  that's just me man. So So like yeah, that's just me.
• 56:49
  I was like, you know, I could I could agonize over every word
• 56:54
  like I could and like make a grammatically perfect.
• 56:57
  But is it going to matter like I could agonize over it and like
• 57:02
  you know that's not the point of this book right?
• 57:05
  If there's little flaws in there so be it like my point was to
• 57:07
  get these message across as clear as I could and I feel like
• 57:10
  I did that you know if there's a missing ' here and there okay
• 57:13
  whatever. I'm not like whatever dude I'm a
• 57:18
  person like, you know, it's not like this is my thesis or
• 57:21
  something. Yeah, even when I've read like
• 57:23
  Major Works published books, I've still felt spell found
• 57:27
  spelling mistakes and stuff. I feel like that's just I just
• 57:30
  happens. Oh, I mean okay so cool.
• 57:32
  Yeah like I didn't I literally haven't read it.
• 57:36
  No. You're specifically.
• 57:37
  I'm talking in general. Okay.
• 57:39
  Yeah, big. What Like official official
• 57:41
  published books? I found there's no There's one I
• 57:46
  caught that I was really glad I did, it was on the cover, I
• 57:48
  misspelled the title. So I'm glad accosting upon.
• 57:53
  Yeah. But yeah, it's all good.
• 57:57
  Well, I've been the biggest challenges associated with your
• 58:00
  depression. And how did you overcome them?
• 58:05
  That's a good question. The, the, the biggest challenge,
• 58:09
  I mean, I'm thinking about the hardest points, which were, you
• 58:13
  know, I don't know if we talked about this, when everything like
• 58:17
  really hit the fan, it was right after my best friend was killed.
• 58:19
  I don't think we talked about that.
• 58:21
  Wow. So that was That was the summer
• 58:24
  After High School. And so I noticed, you know,
• 58:28
  about throughout my childhood but it was you know, I didn't
• 58:30
  notice it at the time thinking back, I noticed it now and so he
• 58:36
  was killed some After High School.
• 58:38
  All my friends went away to college, I ended up failing out
• 58:42
  of college because I just couldn't take it.
• 58:44
  So that was like my deepest deepest point.
• 58:46
  I think the hardest point was Just getting going like, like,
• 58:55
  getting into that mindset of Ike figuring out that I can be more
• 58:59
  than this. I can be more than just the guy
• 59:01
  the rock bottom. That was the hardest part just
• 59:04
  getting going. And that's really I guess that's
• 59:06
  why I wrote this book, right? Like and that's why I started it
• 59:09
  the way I did was just this is the thing.
• 59:12
  I joke that this is like this book.
• 59:14
  I wrote it for the worst possible audience or like the
• 59:16
  worst possible way to get sales because these aren't people.
• 59:20
  Who buy books, right? Who like if you're that
• 59:22
  depressed, you're probably not seeking out help.
• 59:24
  You're probably not going to buy a book on depression.
• 59:28
  So I really wrote it, in one way, is more of like a gift for
• 59:32
  people. So like I wanted, I want people
• 59:37
  like, let's just say, you have a friend who's deeply depressed.
• 59:39
  I would love for you to buy this book for them.
• 59:41
  Give them the hard copy to lay next to their bed stand every
• 59:44
  night, right? So that's kind of like, you know
• 59:48
  one Avenue I was I was going forward this book, but Yeah,
• 59:58
  let's get back to your original question.
• 59:59
  I do, I'm going off in the change in you.
• 1:00:01
  You mentioned you mentioned there about your friend.
• 1:00:04
  First thing I'm going to say straightaways You comfortable
• 1:00:08
  talking about that? Oh yeah, because I think a lot
• 1:00:12
  of people listening could probably really benefit from
• 1:00:16
  hearing this story and, you know, I've lost friends as well
• 1:00:22
  over the years. So I do understand to some
• 1:00:24
  extent He mentions his high school's, how old are you
• 1:00:28
  roughly at this time? Right now as we talk know when
• 1:00:33
  you when you when you're at high school and when this happened
• 1:00:36
  when your friend passed 18, right, okay, and like how did
• 1:00:45
  how did it happen? Car accident.
• 1:00:48
  Right? Okay.
• 1:00:50
  Was it was it was it like How can I put this?
• 1:00:59
  Was it because of someone else, or was it?
• 1:01:02
  Maybe he said he was at fault in that scenario just driving too
• 1:01:06
  fast and it was a it was a spot where other people had crashed.
• 1:01:10
  Oh, okay, because it was he was going over the speed limit,
• 1:01:15
  right? And the road curved and at right
• 1:01:19
  at the curve, there was a telephone pole and he was going
• 1:01:22
  too fast to the telephone pole died and it was a spot where
• 1:01:27
  Other people had crashed for some reason, they didn't move
• 1:01:29
  telephone pole. If he was on either side, he
• 1:01:31
  would go on safely into a field. It was just one of those things,
• 1:01:34
  there's a mistake, it was just an accident and like and, you
• 1:01:40
  know, and it's it's it doesn't really like end there because
• 1:01:43
  there are all kinds of things that bother you after the point,
• 1:01:45
  like right? Like the the reporting on it was
• 1:01:50
  they found alcohol in the scene but he didn't drink what they
• 1:01:54
  didn't say was, they found the bottle that they found was
• 1:01:57
  Opened but that wasn't reported on.
• 1:01:59
  So like I see, right? So what it was.
• 1:02:03
  Okay if you yeah if I can theorize a little bit here.
• 1:02:06
  So while you're trying to contend with this, just the
• 1:02:10
  situation as it is because that's enough young man to be
• 1:02:14
  dealing with anyone to be dealing with, right that
• 1:02:16
  knowledge that situation, your then here in those police
• 1:02:19
  reports. And they're basically painting a
• 1:02:21
  picture of a person, your friend and That's not your friend
• 1:02:28
  that's them. Trying to make a story.
• 1:02:30
  That is untrue. It wasn't the police, the police
• 1:02:34
  that the police, and the media, the media that's, yeah.
• 1:02:36
  The police are how we learned the truth.
• 1:02:38
  It was the, it was the media who tried alcohol was found and they
• 1:02:43
  left it there. So then like I was actually the
• 1:02:45
  president of sad. I'll know if they have that in
• 1:02:47
  the UK students Against Drunk Driving.
• 1:02:49
  I was the president of sad in high school and, you know, in
• 1:02:51
  like people are reaching out to me like, you know, talking about
• 1:02:55
  how there was alcohol found at the scene was really sensitive
• 1:02:57
  things. Did the media actually kind of
• 1:03:00
  you said they're like they kind of said there was alcohol at the
• 1:03:02
  scene but did they kind of imply?
• 1:03:05
  Anything did they kind of come out and say hello?
• 1:03:07
  Maybe it's a alcohol-fueled thing or did they kind of say as
• 1:03:13
  you say they just left it there and then let people make their
• 1:03:16
  own things because they let there be light.
• 1:03:18
  Okay? Because you know, there were no
• 1:03:21
  blood tests or anything but there didn't have to be.
• 1:03:23
  It was unopened and he didn't drink.
• 1:03:25
  So it was like So yeah, so it was it was an interesting thing,
• 1:03:30
  right? So obviously you mentioned that
• 1:03:33
  this is like kind of the starting point.
• 1:03:36
  As far as you're the dearest, the deepest point, the starting
• 1:03:39
  of the deepest point. Yeah.
• 1:03:42
  Stalkers free like Let's paint a timeline.
• 1:03:46
  So that happens, you're 18. And then when were you able to
• 1:03:50
  overcome the depression, like, what was the end point?
• 1:03:54
  There is no end point. So okay.
• 1:03:58
  It was, it was a Brick by Brick thing.
• 1:04:01
  Those next few years were brutal.
• 1:04:05
  It wasn't, it wasn't a three-month thing.
• 1:04:08
  It was brutal. No.
• 1:04:09
  No, of course not. But obviously, I kind of think
• 1:04:12
  that, like, when I say the end point, what I mean by that is
• 1:04:15
  like the point where you can kind of return to Living.
• 1:04:21
  So so yeah. It was in a sense.
• 1:04:23
  Yeah. Like a it wasn't till.
• 1:04:26
  I mean my started seeing like colors again is really kind of
• 1:04:29
  how it felt. I was 25 24.
• 1:04:34
  So it was, it took a good while and I was looking for those,
• 1:04:37
  those silver bullets, things that could help and they just
• 1:04:41
  they weren't there. So that's why I like, I say that
• 1:04:43
  D-Day approach in the book, right?
• 1:04:44
  You got to kind of come at it with everything and it wasn't
• 1:04:47
  till I was, you know, I was transferring from college.
• 1:04:50
  College trying to sort it out and yeah it was until I was
• 1:04:54
  about 24. 25 want to start to see colors again seeing that
• 1:04:56
  there's like a life ahead. Yeah.
• 1:04:59
  So what will the things during that time that really helped?
• 1:05:03
  Like did you have a good support network around you were there
• 1:05:08
  particular? I don't know Hobbies interests
• 1:05:10
  things driving, you maybe work, maybe studies.
• 1:05:13
  What were the things that kind of helped you?
• 1:05:18
  To get out of this to overcome this.
• 1:05:21
  What were the main things that helped you?
• 1:05:23
  So I was playing in bands this whole time, right?
• 1:05:25
  And it was a very toxic scene like this.
• 1:05:32
  I mean I still playing bands but it was the, the scenes at the
• 1:05:35
  places I was playing in like New York and Philadelphia.
• 1:05:39
  You know, I literally was seeing people getting thrown through
• 1:05:41
  tables and people pulling out knives and like, really rough
• 1:05:44
  areas, right? When was this?
• 1:05:45
  What will sort of time with? What is early 2000s?
• 1:05:50
  Okay, yeah, so yeah, playing some really seedy places, you
• 1:05:57
  know, but but we eventually worked our way up and we were
• 1:05:59
  playing cbgb's and I don't know if you know what that is.
• 1:06:03
  Isabelle but yeah, so that's kind of like punk rock Mecca.
• 1:06:07
  So like the birthplace of punk rock in New York was cbgb's.
• 1:06:10
  That's where like the Ramones Blondie, Talking Heads
• 1:06:14
  television, they all came up from there from cbgb's.
• 1:06:17
  So that was like, a huge deal for me to play there just before
• 1:06:20
  they closed. And, but at the same time, you
• 1:06:25
  know, if I School me knew that I was playing cbgb's, I would have
• 1:06:29
  been doing backflips for a week, but at at that time, I was also
• 1:06:34
  struggling. So it was kind of like, you can
• 1:06:38
  look at it two ways that the depression ruins, the cbgb's
• 1:06:40
  experience, or the CBC cbgb's experience was pull helping me,
• 1:06:44
  pull me out, right? Because it was like, this, this
• 1:06:46
  thing that I could latch onto. So, So that was happening,
• 1:06:49
  right? So, but the music like that
• 1:06:51
  playing music, never stops, I still do that, like I said, but
• 1:06:53
  one thing that helped was, you know, working just on that
• 1:06:56
  physical structure like getting into working out.
• 1:06:59
  Like, I done martial arts through my teen years and I
• 1:07:02
  stopped when high school stopped, as soon as he died.
• 1:07:04
  I stopped But but then I started pulling on those lessons that I
• 1:07:09
  learned. I learned like a law, not just
• 1:07:11
  the working out, but the working in like meditation and well
• 1:07:15
  yeah, like the stuff too and what that was like these small
• 1:07:19
  bricks and it kind of from there, I just added, you know,
• 1:07:23
  the news dialing in the nutrition and just it was Brick
• 1:07:26
  by Brick, it was kind of the clouds, kind of slowly going
• 1:07:29
  away over a decade. Yeah. so really, I think the
• 1:07:33
  biggest lesson we can hear from your experience was that like
• 1:07:39
  it's a step-by-step thing and it's an ongoing thing, but also
• 1:07:46
  there were things. Things you were working towards
• 1:07:50
  different interests, you had goals, you had that, you are
• 1:07:54
  able to focus on to then sort of help you to get through those
• 1:07:57
  times. Yeah.
• 1:08:00
  And like, it took me a very long time.
• 1:08:04
  So the point of the book is, you know, I want to cut this down
• 1:08:07
  for people, you know, this is all these lessons.
• 1:08:09
  I learned all over years and years and years, you know.
• 1:08:12
  So that's that was one of the big reasons I threw this
• 1:08:14
  together to is like I would love for somebody who's going through
• 1:08:17
  something like this to be able to Cut that time, you know, by x
• 1:08:21
  amount because you know, I wouldn't wish that that many
• 1:08:24
  years on anyone. Yeah, essentially you know
• 1:08:27
  you'll lose them. It feels like so you in that you
• 1:08:30
  mentioned obviously. Martial arts.
• 1:08:32
  Yeah you're a karate black belt. So what the key things you've
• 1:08:36
  learnt from Karate. So there are a lot and you know
• 1:08:41
  that There was, that was from the years I was about 11 or 12
• 1:08:49
  till I was 18 was when I was really deep into it.
• 1:08:52
  And For the sake of ease, you know, I think the most important
• 1:08:59
  part that I pulled away from it was the meditation, was that Zen
• 1:09:02
  meditation? You know, what is this yoga?
• 1:09:05
  Or is this something? No, no, that was, that was from
• 1:09:08
  the karate was okay. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:09:11
  That was, it was, that was like, the, it was a Japanese style.
• 1:09:16
  So it was like that, that Far Eastern, you know, the mindset.
• 1:09:22
  Yeah. That was that was that.
• 1:09:24
  That I held onto the most. That was, that was the biggest
• 1:09:26
  help for sure. Yeah.
• 1:09:29
  Okay. And yeah, similar question.
• 1:09:33
  Well what the key things you've learned from yoga would be
• 1:09:36
  swollen taken from that? Yeah, so yoga is like, my new
• 1:09:39
  martial art is the way I talk about it, right?
• 1:09:41
  So Justin. Yeah, like because I love the
• 1:09:44
  discipline of it. And I love the fact that like,
• 1:09:46
  karate was nice. And it was good at that time
• 1:09:48
  because like, you had like, though the goals to work up to
• 1:09:51
  like the ranks and it was a cool thing.
• 1:09:54
  And yoga, there's no ranks right?
• 1:09:56
  Like, I'll be okay yoga teacher, but there's no, like, yeah, you
• 1:10:00
  can't be a black belt in yoga, right?
• 1:10:02
  So like yoga is great because it comes out, it comes at it from
• 1:10:08
  like the mental, emotional spiritual, physical, like you
• 1:10:12
  have all of it in this one package and one thing that
• 1:10:16
  people like, if it's going to talk strictly about like the
• 1:10:18
  physical side, just for a second man.
• 1:10:21
  Okay, this was a life changer. So the first time I took yoga
• 1:10:23
  class And in grad school, there's a free yoga class going
• 1:10:27
  on in like this side room at our gym at the University.
• 1:10:31
  So I'm sitting there and I'm, you know, talking to this girl
• 1:10:36
  before we start. And she was very young.
• 1:10:38
  She was just out of high school and she said you see all these
• 1:10:41
  guys out there moving all these weights around she's like they
• 1:10:44
  think they know what Fitness is? They have no idea.
• 1:10:47
  It sounds like, oh, okay, whatever.
• 1:10:48
  So I do this yoga class I could not walk the next day but I come
• 1:10:52
  from. I mean like Could walk, but it
• 1:10:54
  wasn't pleasant. Yeah, I don't.
• 1:10:56
  You mean, yeah. So you know and I come from a
• 1:10:58
  fitness background at that point.
• 1:11:01
  I was already a personal trainer I was lifting weights and doing
• 1:11:03
  you know doing all kinds of cardio stuff but man it works
• 1:11:06
  you it fills in all these gaps that you didn't know.
• 1:11:09
  We're there. It's like it's really great.
• 1:11:12
  Like so I encourage everybody kind of like, I mean evangelist
• 1:11:17
  when it comes to yoga. Go take some classes.
• 1:11:18
  It's so much fun. I've seen a lot of people
• 1:11:21
  talking about Hot Yoga, so, basically you're doing yoga.
• 1:11:24
  But, like, in like pretty hot temperatures.
• 1:11:27
  Do you think that's any better that?
• 1:11:30
  How does that differ different to sort of regular yoga?
• 1:11:32
  Is it better worse? Like, talk to us.
• 1:11:34
  I can't speak to that because I've never done it.
• 1:11:36
  Okay, it doesn't appeal to me. I have a tough enough time.
• 1:11:41
  This is Go, the regular 90-minute classes like, you
• 1:11:46
  know, maybe there's some benefits.
• 1:11:47
  I don't know that. I'm cool with what I'm doing
• 1:11:51
  right now. And moving it Forward.
• 1:11:56
  What exactly does a brain health trainer do?
• 1:11:59
  Oh yeah. Super fun, right?
• 1:12:00
  So like I got that a couple months after covid, Hicks.
• 1:12:06
  I was just looking for something like To do that.
• 1:12:10
  I could possibly do like freelancing or you know, or just
• 1:12:15
  to make myself. Expand my horizons a little bit.
• 1:12:21
  So essentially you know, you're looking at the different parts
• 1:12:23
  of your brain and you're looking at what activity can strengthen
• 1:12:30
  these parts of your brain and how they how they work together.
• 1:12:34
  It gets very boring, very quick. But I'll give you, I'll give you
• 1:12:38
  a I'm not bored. I find interesting personally.
• 1:12:41
  Okay, so so you have the listeners.
• 1:12:43
  They're going to, they're going to send me hate me.
• 1:12:44
  If I go on this fever, you want my listeners very intelligent
• 1:12:51
  steam people. They like this stuff.
• 1:12:55
  You took away my friend. Okay, so I'll I'll say this.
• 1:13:00
  Everybody got to start playing pickleball, okay?
• 1:13:03
  If you don't know a pickleball is it's a cross between Like
• 1:13:09
  ping-pong table, tennis, and like regular tennis, so you're
• 1:13:13
  standing and you're knocking the ball on the ground, but it's not
• 1:13:17
  as big as tennis. It's not as it's like a, it's
• 1:13:19
  like a tennis like quarter size of the court and the ball is
• 1:13:25
  like a almost like a wiffle ball like these, this plastic ball so
• 1:13:31
  good for your brain table, tennis, ping, pong, whatever you
• 1:13:34
  call. It also really, really good for
• 1:13:36
  your brain. Okay, incredible.
• 1:13:38
  A lot of these things that we learned are just theories and I
• 1:13:41
  don't know if you guys know Daniel a man over there, he's a
• 1:13:44
  pretty famous brain guy. I guess he's an author and he
• 1:13:48
  has like a lot of PBS specials over here on on public
• 1:13:51
  television. And he it was his disciples who
• 1:13:57
  started this whole brain training thing, okay?
• 1:13:59
  So some of it is theoretical You know, based on like we think
• 1:14:05
  this will happen for your brain, right?
• 1:14:07
  A lot of it's like ways to fight off Alzheimer's to improve
• 1:14:11
  balance to fight off Parkinson's, right?
• 1:14:16
  You know, I'm going to, um, add a chapter in the book because,
• 1:14:20
  you know, think there's things are that are important with
• 1:14:23
  coffee and juggling, believe it or not, really, really good for
• 1:14:26
  brain balance exercises. Yeah.
• 1:14:28
  It's a super fun thing. Yeah, I'm actually doing a
• 1:14:31
  presentation. Tation on it, I guess in about a
• 1:14:33
  month, my yoga school. So yeah, it's a cool thing.
• 1:14:37
  Awesome. Functional aging Institute I
• 1:14:39
  should plug them because you should check that out yet.
• 1:14:41
  It's a certified Braille brain health trainer.
• 1:14:46
  And it's with functional aging Institute, they're really great
• 1:14:50
  Institute. I mean, they have all kinds of
• 1:14:52
  free materials. So, you know, anybody who
• 1:14:55
  struggles with cognitive things that they have a lot of great
• 1:14:58
  materials that are here. Thanks for sharing told us about
• 1:15:03
  your work as a fitness nutritionist specialist and I
• 1:15:06
  got the wrong Fitness Nutrition specialist.
• 1:15:08
  There you go. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:15:10
  So in a way that's actually how I ended up on the road to, to
• 1:15:19
  becoming a full-on, like just therapist because what I was
• 1:15:24
  doing was you know, meeting with clients through Zoom about
• 1:15:29
  nutrition issues Shoes. Okay.
• 1:15:31
  So they knew I was a personal trainer.
• 1:15:32
  I knew my stuff about nutrition but then I got this
• 1:15:34
  certification and people who just really struggled with their
• 1:15:37
  diet and we were not talking about their diet, that's not
• 1:15:41
  what was happening. They knew what they were doing,
• 1:15:42
  what they should be eating, they knew what not to eat and they
• 1:15:47
  would just yeah it was just all these emotional issues with just
• 1:15:51
  would just pour out of them and pour out of them.
• 1:15:54
  How does that happen? What so that, firstly, it took a
• 1:15:56
  lot. Yeah, I just see eye-to-eye
• 1:15:58
  chocolate, man. But anyway, so my husband's
• 1:16:03
  cheating on me like that, where how do you get to that?
• 1:16:06
  Like how? I mean, it's not that far of a
• 1:16:08
  jump believe it or not, it's not that far of a jump.
• 1:16:12
  You know, people would say I overeat where I'm eating all
• 1:16:16
  this garbage, I know I should be eating this garbage, but I was
• 1:16:19
  so stressed out today because of this.
• 1:16:22
  And that's it. And that's all it took.
• 1:16:24
  And I mean then it was it was, I would say 80% of the Clients
• 1:16:30
  were talking about emotional issues.
• 1:16:33
  I guess you must be pretty easy to talk to them because, you
• 1:16:36
  know, it all comes down to comfortability.
• 1:16:39
  I mean, one of the things I've always said about this podcast
• 1:16:41
  for its owners bit little bit different.
• 1:16:43
  But, you know, you always get more out of people when they
• 1:16:46
  feel comfortable Juno meaning and then it becomes a case of
• 1:16:49
  just asking the right questions, but it speaks a lot to your I
• 1:16:53
  suppose. Demeanor and ability to be
• 1:16:56
  supportive that people are able to open up to that.
• 1:16:58
  Because I mean the fact Still Remains you're a Fitness
• 1:17:01
  Nutrition specialist. You're not in that particular
• 1:17:03
  instance, you're not being a therapist yet they're happy to
• 1:17:06
  take. So it's interesting, right?
• 1:17:08
  So that's why I was like you know, I was like I'm more than
• 1:17:11
  happy to be your friend as we talk about this kind of stuff
• 1:17:13
  and I can be empathetic but you know, I should probably get
• 1:17:18
  probably get some schooling in this.
• 1:17:19
  Make sure I don't break anything so I see 62.
• 1:17:22
  You basically went and And sort of studied more about therapy
• 1:17:26
  after that, to sort of help with that and and just also for your
• 1:17:29
  own. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:17:31
  Like and like, you know, I already built up a great rapport
• 1:17:34
  with a lot of people because I was a personal trainer and
• 1:17:36
  that's usually where it started was.
• 1:17:38
  We were going through the workouts and stuff and then they
• 1:17:40
  would want help with my nutrition stuff.
• 1:17:42
  So I already had that Rapport. Yes.
• 1:17:45
  And now it's kind of like leveling up getting that Masters
• 1:17:48
  in therapy. So what Allah the best.
• 1:17:54
  And worst things about New Jersey.
• 1:17:58
  That's a great question. The best thing we have a lot of
• 1:18:02
  best things. So okay so like one thing about
• 1:18:06
  the u.s. is People are very proud of being from Texas and
• 1:18:13
  New Jersey, we have. I don't know why.
• 1:18:16
  Texas is gigantic. Texas is cool.
• 1:18:19
  You know, I've I don't know what it is about.
• 1:18:21
  Like, obviously back in the day, you know, Texas Lone Star State,
• 1:18:25
  you know, all that right? But these days because I've had
• 1:18:29
  a lot of guests on from Texas, from places, like Dallas, Austin
• 1:18:34
  places, like that, it seems to be like a massive, like cultural
• 1:18:39
  hub. Kind of like a cross between
• 1:18:42
  Silicon Valley in my San Francisco 2.0.
• 1:18:45
  It's kind of like cultural and new business, small business,
• 1:18:50
  venture type Capital. It's fascinating how it's
• 1:18:53
  developing into that but apparently that's that's the
• 1:18:55
  deal with Texas these days. Yeah, I'm not knocking it but
• 1:18:58
  jerseys better so oh whoa. So I'm very lucky because we
• 1:19:05
  lived, you know, we're an hour and a half from New York where
• 1:19:09
  An hour from Philadelphia, we're 40 minutes from the beach.
• 1:19:13
  I was probably the beach is our best thing.
• 1:19:15
  We actually have where small state but we have the most
• 1:19:18
  usable Beach, more usable beeps than any other state, even
• 1:19:22
  Florida because you have like a lot of these states like
• 1:19:24
  California has way more coastline, but they have like
• 1:19:27
  rock Cliffs. New Jersey has the sand beaches.
• 1:19:30
  So we have the most usable Beach.
• 1:19:32
  I'm actually moving to the beach next week.
• 1:19:34
  So yeah, and and we're also. So we have the beach right
• 1:19:37
  there. And then we're also just an hour
• 1:19:39
  or two from Snowboarding skiing. So we have these mountains in
• 1:19:42
  Pennsylvania. So we're like we kind of have
• 1:19:44
  everything right here. So that's the best part of New
• 1:19:47
  Jersey. The oh, you're getting excited
• 1:19:51
  for the worst. Yeah, it's just giving to the
• 1:19:53
  duck. Come on, bring it.
• 1:19:55
  So the worst part of New Jersey is what people The perception of
• 1:20:01
  this very narrow strip of that's like, Turnpike near New York
• 1:20:08
  City. It's like, that's what people
• 1:20:10
  know because like The Sopranos new and yeah, yeah.
• 1:20:15
  So there's some great people there but it's just never stuff
• 1:20:20
  that you drive through. That's very ugly.
• 1:20:22
  Definitely a lot of factories like refineries things like that
• 1:20:25
  and then there's like this little spot and of course he
• 1:20:28
  picked out the worst spot for the He sure that TV show it's
• 1:20:31
  always like that they're not even from New Jersey, they're
• 1:20:33
  from New York but it is like that little you know
• 1:20:37
  quarter-mile strip is exactly like it is on the TV show,
• 1:20:40
  right? But the rest of it's really
• 1:20:41
  nice. I've heard that our drivers
• 1:20:44
  aren't great but but I lived in d.c. for Washington d.c. for a
• 1:20:49
  while and no drivers were jerks too.
• 1:20:51
  So like I don't know. I'd like I'm not a fan of
• 1:20:54
  aggressive driving like I like when everyone's calm on the
• 1:20:57
  road. So I'm gonna say Because I'm
• 1:21:00
  currently like deep into season four, sir, Prados, which by the
• 1:21:04
  way, just on the side note, everyone should go and watch
• 1:21:08
  that go out of your way to watch that.
• 1:21:10
  Amazing cinematography amazing acting all that jazz but it
• 1:21:14
  really does show off New Jersey and I think not in just a bad
• 1:21:19
  way in a good way they show you nice parts and bad parts which I
• 1:21:23
  think is more like how it should be, you know what I mean?
• 1:21:26
  Like it's you should always show the best and worst places in a
• 1:21:29
  Area. Because, believe it or not,
• 1:21:31
  every city around the world. Has that London?
• 1:21:33
  You think London is all beautiful.
• 1:21:35
  Hell, nah, I could show you about 50 different places and
• 1:21:39
  you'll be like, that's in London.
• 1:21:41
  Yeah, every place I mean, and you got to do that.
• 1:21:45
  And the good thing about the soprano is obviously, you know,
• 1:21:48
  it's it's about gangsters. So you know, a lot of the places
• 1:21:51
  they're going to be hanging out, I'm going to be dingy but then
• 1:21:53
  they show you in the higher class places like they show you
• 1:21:55
  the oh hey there's like they've got quite a bit culture here in
• 1:21:58
  this like higher higher. End places and nice houses a
• 1:22:01
  nice neighborhoods and stuff like that.
• 1:22:03
  So it's like every and I feel like because I've lived around
• 1:22:07
  the world, I've lived in different places and stuff and
• 1:22:08
  it's the same thing every time. You know there's what the media
• 1:22:12
  perception is and you know it Eva paints a places overall
• 1:22:16
  really good or overall really bad and then there's the
• 1:22:19
  reality. Yeah and it's always usually a
• 1:22:22
  mixture of both. I don't feel that there's very
• 1:22:24
  many areas around the world to be honest that are purely like
• 1:22:27
  good or purely bad. I think there's generally A
• 1:22:30
  mixture, of course. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:22:35
  What's the biggest life lesson that you've learned so far?
• 1:22:39
  Oh good lord. That's a tough one.
• 1:22:42
  My favorite question. That everyone is capable of far,
• 1:22:49
  far, far more than they believe. That's that's true.
• 1:22:54
  Everyone is way more capable and it took me a very long time to
• 1:22:59
  learn that an adult mean like I guess like the world now.
• 1:23:05
  I guess we would equate it to like Instagram likes.
• 1:23:10
  Like I don't mean like that right?
• 1:23:11
  Like man I guess in a way you could put it that way if you
• 1:23:16
  want. But I mean like meaningful
• 1:23:18
  things. Sorry it's all the Twitter heads
• 1:23:22
  out there, whatever they're called the Instagram heads, you
• 1:23:24
  know? But yeah, you're capable of so
• 1:23:28
  so, so much more. Yeah, it really is true.
• 1:23:31
  Yeah, I think the biggest thing. NG it sounds cliche, but the
• 1:23:33
  biggest thing holding people back is their own mindset.
• 1:23:35
  No matter what situation there, and it's their own mindset.
• 1:23:37
  Yeah, couldn't agree more with you.
• 1:23:41
  As we draw things to a close for today.
• 1:23:42
  Do you have any final words or maybe some upcoming projects
• 1:23:45
  that you'd like to share with our listeners / viewers?
• 1:23:52
  Why I feel like that? That forgiveness thing is pretty
• 1:23:55
  important. That's been like my thing lately
• 1:23:57
  is forgiving, other people don't understand.
• 1:24:02
  You know, I'm working on these all these creative projects that
• 1:24:05
  were kind of put on hold because of covid.
• 1:24:07
  They're all kind of exploding now right now.
• 1:24:09
  We're coming back to life, man. I think of something fun.
• 1:24:14
  I can't think of anything fun right now.
• 1:24:16
  Well, I can't think of anything fun.
• 1:24:19
  See, I think that right there. So many people.
• 1:24:23
  I'm like, yes, you two people ask me like, what do you do?
• 1:24:27
  What do you do? You know, like I do live streams
• 1:24:29
  a lot in about. What do you do?
• 1:24:30
  What do you do for fun? I'm like I mean This this is fun
• 1:24:34
  and I like this, you know, is it?
• 1:24:35
  And it's relative isn't it? Because like what your idea is
• 1:24:38
  what do I do? What do I spend with you?
• 1:24:40
  I don't know but it's like we will have these different
• 1:24:44
  passions and things and you know to me it sounds like you're very
• 1:24:47
  varied guy. You got a lot going on in your
• 1:24:49
  life and yeah it's just exciting to hear what you'll do next.
• 1:24:55
  I mean I think There's definitely legs for a sequel to
• 1:24:59
  this, this book. This is a really good book.
• 1:25:02
  Okay, thanks again. So much, the official depression
• 1:25:05
  relief, Playbook go out of your way to get that.
• 1:25:08
  Tell you why I'll do this. If anybody wants like a just
• 1:25:12
  like a preview of it, shoot me an email and I'll send them a
• 1:25:14
  chapter and see if it's their cup of tea.
• 1:25:17
  Because I understand, you know, if it's not that's fine or maybe
• 1:25:21
  the thing you really need to read or really need to pass on
• 1:25:23
  to someone else. So shoot me an email.
• 1:25:24
  If you want to preview it or just get it's like three bucks.
• 1:25:27
  On Amazon, I don't know, it's worth every penny.
• 1:25:31
  Thank you. This was a massive, thank you
• 1:25:34
  for being on the show. It's been an absolute pleasure
• 1:25:36
  chatting with. Thank you.
• 1:25:37
  It's an honor, man. This is really cool and to
• 1:25:40
  everyone listening or watching the Christian we've podcast.
• 1:25:43
  If you're watching on YouTube, make sure to like, share and
• 1:25:46
  subscribe. If you're listening on Spotify,
• 1:25:48
  Apple podcast Google podcast wherever you listen to the
• 1:25:50
  Christian re podcast, leave us a like Davis to review.
• 1:25:54
  Let me know your thoughts. What you think, let me know who
• 1:25:57
  you would like to. See on the show.
• 1:25:58
  Next what you would like to hear on the show.
• 1:26:00
  Next be safe be well. And as always, I'll see you in
• 1:26:05
  the next one.