Latest / Tone It Down / Karena Solo: 5 Steps to Trust Yourself, Practice Presence, & Come Back to You

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Karena Solo: 5 Steps to Trust Yourself, Practice Presence, & Come Back to You · Tone It Down

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  It's so much easier for us to just stay in that same rut, go in those same cycles,
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  and repeat and repeat. But if you recognize it and you say I'm going to change it,
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  you're going to be golden.
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  All right team, it's Karina here and welcome to a tonic down solo episode with me. As you know,
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  if you go to KarinaDawn.com slash message, you can leave me a voicemail anonymous or not.
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  So far everyone's not been anonymous and I love all of your messages and I do an AMA
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  from SpeakPipe and play your messages live on the podcast. I am going to be doing another one of
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  those next week. But there's some questions that I can't get to on the AMA. And these are
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  questions that I want to answer in the solo apps. So I can really dive into what you want to talk
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  about and the questions you have for me. And this is something that has come up over and over again.
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  So I've got my trusty notes here and we're going to dive into it.
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  One of the questions I get a lot is how did you learn how to trust yourself again?
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  So this is five things I did to trust myself again and turn my life around. So as I move through
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  these five things, I'm going to use like a big moment when I was younger. If you know my story,
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  fully, if you've read my memoir or listened to the audiobook, you'll know what I'm talking about.
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  And then I also want to graph this with all of these steps, whether it's that big moment that you
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  really hit rock bottom or it's as we get older, we get wiser and we don't have to hit rock bottom
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  to know that uh-huh. Okay, I'm not aligned with myself. Let me get back in alignment. So if you want,
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  you can grab a journal, a pen or a pen in a paper. If you kind of want to brainstorm some ideas
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  while you're listening or if you're out on a walk, just enjoy and write it down when you get home.
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  So this again is for anyone feeling stuck, disconnected, you're listening to your intuition
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  and you're like, I just need that small little shift. Again, I'm going to use an example of a big
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  shift but these same things can be used in a small shift. All right, let's go. Number one,
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  the biggest, biggest thing that you have to do is admit that you are not aligned with yourself
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  anymore. So what does that feel like? I'm going to use this example. Again, my big, my big aha
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  in my book, I talk about that morning in the park. If you know, you know that morning in the park
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  where I knew that there was something greater to me, in me, and in my life than the current situation
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  that I was in. I was entrusting myself. I was just being a victim in life, victim in the family
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  situation that I grew up in and I believed that I was just going to end up like my mother. So I
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  never believed in myself. So that's where it comes to the intuition in the aha moment. How do you
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  come back to yourself? Number one is just admitting, hi, I have a problem and I'm going to fix it.
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  If someone's like, well, how do you know how do you know that you're out of alignment? And it's
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  listening to that tiny little voice in your head that you try to like scoot, scoot all the way
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  like off, right? And listen to it because your mind and your body are meant to have intuition
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  that gut feeling that we talk about. Same kind of thing. That intuition is in your gut.
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  Listen to it and say, okay, I agree with you, Karina, you are out of alignment. Step one, simple
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  admitting. That's it. So where do you go from then? Then you say, okay, I've recognized that I'm
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  out of, you know, alignment. How do I get back to myself? How do I stop abandoning myself?
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  So I'm going to really use simple, simple tricks and tips. Again, when I was in my darkest moment
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  and I wanted to pull myself out and let me just say to you, whenever you're in your darkest moment,
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  whether it be big or small or in that moment, you're out of alignment, the hardest thing to do
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  is recognize it and then get yourself out of it and make that change. It's so much easier for us
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  to just stay in that same rut, go in those same cycles and repeat and repeat and then break yourself
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  down even more and even more. But if you recognize it and you say, I'm going to change it,
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  you're going to be golden. So how do you show up for you again? I love this little trick. Not really
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  a trick. We've talked about it all the time, but finding what brought you most joy. So for me,
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  the day in the park where I said, enough is enough. This is not what my life is meant to be.
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  I know there's something greater. I thought back of when was I my happiest? And as a kid, I ran
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  half marathon in my junior high school. They had an after school program and even back then,
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  I hated running after school. But for some reason, I did it. My dad was a runner and he always would
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  run the Indianapolis half marathon every year. So I trained for that and I did it, but I actually
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  loved the race and I loved crossing that finish line because it's that I signed up for something.
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  I achieved it. I got a medal, right? And so at that time, I was surrounded by triathletes
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  and I kept being surrounded by triathletes. And so I signed up for a triathlon and I trained for
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  it. It was a real mental struggle. But I realized how much joy physical fitness brought to me.
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  So I trained for that triathlon. I crossed the finish line. You know the story. If you've been
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  following me, I cried and bawled my eyes out and said, I did this. So think of that. So my joy
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  list, let's call it joy it up, physical fitness. That brings me joy moving my body. So if you make
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  that joy list, I'm going to say I move my body right right it down. What else brings me joy?
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  I love art painting. That's on my joy ed up list. I like to have a creative outlet. So think
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  about like what is your creative outlet that makes you just giddy inside like a kid. I also have
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  reading a book and not just like a self-help or education book. I really like a good thriller
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  or a memoir. So something that's kind of just like you really can get into the story versus
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  always having to educate yourself and take in all of this information. Like something that
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  just carries you away. That's on my joy list. Being in nature, playing with my pomeranians,
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  but take this whatever your joy list is. Just write it down and just ask yourself,
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  am I saying yes enough to those things? All right. Number three, I learned the difference between
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  fear and intuition. It's so interesting. Fear and intuition can be like a fight or flight. But fear,
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  I feel like fear was always talking with intuition and fears fighting with intuition and you're like
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  intuition's like no, Karina, go with your gut. You know what's right. Fear's like you're in trouble,
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  don't do it. Stay right here. Freeze. Go with intuition. So intuition is that calm, steady,
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  consistent feeling. Fear is that anxiety that comes over you. I really believe that with meditation
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  too, you can hear your inner voice, your intuition, your who am I, who am I meant to be by sitting
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  in silence and meditating and really connecting with yourself. So my fear, if we go back to
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  the darkest parts where fear, I am going to end up like my mother. Intuition told me that little
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  voice I was talking about, intuition said, nah, you're not. You are meant to live a better life
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  than what you're giving yourself right now. Make the change. Fear, mother, intuition,
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  you're not meant to be right here right now in this thought process that you have.
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  So think about that and what your fear is and what your intuition is and maybe even journal
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  like a situation you're in right now where fear is stopping you from doing something you want to
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  do. But then this little intuition is like, you got this girl. Do it.
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  All right. Number four, I rebuilt trust through small promises to myself. I think there's like this
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  lie out there that it's an all or nothing. Like you got to go hard. Like if you're going to the
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  gym, you got to go hard or nothing. If you're starting a new career, you got to go hard or nothing.
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  If you're going into a new relationship, you got to go hard or nothing. But what about the
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  in between that gray area, right? When gray is a great color, okay? But I think the biggest thing
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  that makes change in you is those small little steps. Getting rid of those bad habits and creating
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  new ones for me growing up and for going to the big one when I was in my early 20s,
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  changing those small bad habits for small habits was not going out to the club at night
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  going out to work out or surfing the ocean in the morning. And you'll realize if you give up
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  those bad habits and you change them for good, whatever yours may be, there's an array of things.
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  How good do you feel when you start taking care of yourself? And I know there's always like this
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  stigma around, well, I can't take care of myself. A bad habit could be, I don't sleep enough
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  because I got to go grind. Bad habit. What if you change that bad habit of not allowing yourself
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  to get enough sleep to a good habit of I'm going to have a nice nightly routine? So I sleep well
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  and I let my body rest and I wake up and I have a nice morning routine and it can be a two minute
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  urine bed and you meditate before you get out of bed because you got so much going on once you
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  get out that that bedroom door, you lay in bed with your eyes closed and you take 10 deep breaths
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  and you say, I am grateful to be alive today. I am grateful for this roof over my head.
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  I am grateful for this breath for the beating of my heart. And just even that positive practice
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  of allowing yourself sleep and then waking up with gratitude can be a small little practice
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  that makes a big difference. And if you've been listening to me on social media or the podcast,
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  you know that sleep has been like my major thing. After 40 and all the hormones,
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  doubts, I don't know about you. Ooh, nailing down a good sleep routine is golden. Other things,
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  little tiny promises I keep to myself, I promise myself that I keep moving my body for how it
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  feels versus the aesthetic. So as many of you know, I went through early paramedics and I was like,
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  who what? And so, but I didn't stop no matter how much I ate healthy and worked out,
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  nothing was shifting, but you know what did shift? I kept working out because mentally
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  that made me feel my best. So that's a promise, a small promise that I keep to myself. Also permission
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  to rest and that goes back to the sleep, permission to rest is so important. If you're tired girl,
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  rest, rest, rest. All right, number five, I choose presence over perfection. So what does that mean?
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  So most suffering comes from living in the past or the future, right? And our minds are like regret, regret,
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  regret, or you have anxiety because you're like, well, what if this happens or what if this happens
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  or what if I do this wrong or I have this work project that's due, but maybe it's not perfectly
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  done. And what if my boss says this or what if I get judged on this, I need to keep working on it,
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  I have to be perfect, then you just have all of this anxiety of the future of what could be.
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  But what if you just said, I'm going to be present? I'm going to believe in myself
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  because I'm in line with myself. And I'm going to stop worrying about the future because that
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  hasn't happened. And I've done my best at everything that I'm worrying about. I've shown up for
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  myself. I've done hard work. I've done my best. I'm not going to crave perfection. I need to live
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  in the present perfection is not good for my mind. It creates anxiety. So not being ready is a lie.
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  As we know, there's so many times that I craved perfection over a project or something where I just
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  worked myself up and so much anxiety. And I was like, what am I doing? Because I couldn't nitpick
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  this all day long and then go back and be like the next day, be like, I want to change that and
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  change that. I'm like, you know what? Let it go. Because if I let that go and I believe in the work
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  I've done and that everything my life, I then get to bring myself to a place of presence, which is
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  really all that matters. I'm looking around this room and even taking a little practice of
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  presence too is taking a moment to just like stop, look around, listen, see that bush, see that
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  painting, see this camera. I see you taking a moment of the practice of presence is really important too.
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  And it really makes you feel alive. So presence over perfection. All right, so all of these things,
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  whether it's the big aha or a small aha, you can come back into alignment at any time with
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  yourself. And I hope this was helpful. Just a little little chat conversation. But I really do want
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  to hear what you want to hear more from me. Make sure you subscribe to the Toner Down podcast
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  because then all of the people that you are suggesting, I see all of your suggestions through
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  the messages, the voicemails or through DMs, question boxes on Instagram. And I have reached out
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  and some of those people are coming on the pod. So make sure you subscribe so you don't miss those
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  podcasts. And I'm just really excited. And actually just take this moment right now. And think about
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  what we've just talked about and make that decision for yourself that right now, this moment,
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  I am going to align with myself and give yourself that permission because you can do it any day,
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  any second. And if you're unaligned in five minutes, you can realign right then. All right,
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  I love you all. And thank you for being here with me. Thank you for being on this journey of life
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  with me. I really am having fun doing this podcast, hanging out with you more, lots more to come.
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  And I love you.