Latest / Mindful Success Path / 4 Characteristics of a Provider Man
Transcript
- 0:32Do you wish somebody would've just told you how to identify the characteristics of a man who would be a protector and a provider, so you wouldn't have wasted your time with a bunch of those other dudes?
- 0:43Well, in this video I'm gonna be talking about how to identify a provider man.
- 0:48And some of these may surprise you because everybody thinks it's just money.
- 0:52And the truth is it's not just.
- 0:55Money.
- 0:56So, hi, my name is Amanda Oya.
- 0:58Welcome to this channel where we teach you how to manifest what it is you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
- 1:06Lately we're talking a lot about relationships.
- 1:08It's some of the most popular videos we have on this channel, so we're just gonna keep the train going.
- 1:14So if that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe.
- 1:16Hit the notification bell, hit the like button.
- 1:18You guys know the drill.
- 1:19And below you will find access to the courses that we have available.
- 1:23All our free manifestation resources, so on and so forth.
- 1:27Okay.
- 1:28So, first of all, I, my apologies.
- 1:30Let's do some housekeeping for a second now that we're starting to build community here.
- 1:34My apologies for not being as active, uh, as I was because a lot of exciting things have been happening over on my end.
- 1:44Uh, the landlady who owns the house where we're living in Mexico has offered to sell it to us.
- 1:49Uh, we've also had a lot of really.
- 1:52Expansive, prosperous opportunities happening here in Mexico.
- 1:57In case you don't know, I wrote, my husband and I run a whole other YouTube channel together, all about being expats and investment opportunities available in other countries and moving to other countries and international lifestyle and so on and so forth.
- 2:12And just with all the craziness that's going on in the world right now, it's kind of exploded and we have people every single day.
- 2:19Are contacting both of us, uh, trying to find real estate here in Mexico, citizen, uh, citizenship.
- 2:25They're trying to get residencies, so on and so forth.
- 2:27So that's why you haven't seen that much of me, uh, because we've been a little busy trying to help people move abroad.
- 2:34But I'm here now answering this one question that has been coming up over and over again.
- 2:40So let's talk about it, right, because when I did the videos about, um, why women need provider men.
- 2:47A lot of you are asking, okay, well how do I actually identify it?
- 2:51So if you go online, right, and you look at most of the things, the number one thing that comes up is money, right?
- 2:56It's the idea of provision.
- 2:59And then because of that, you'll see a lot of content about how to get a rich guy.
- 3:03The thing is right, that not every dude is rich.
- 3:07Most dudes are not rich, actually, and I'm not talking about, um, like men who just don't want to provide at all.
- 3:14I'm talking about.
- 3:15Just men around the world in general, they, they're not all millionaires.
- 3:19Okay.
- 3:19So a lot of the content about, oh, let's go get a millionaire, and that's a provider guy, is a little bit dangerous, uh, because number one, it's a very surface level understanding of what it is to be a provider.
- 3:33Number one, uh, and number two, it has all these women going after like a very small percentage of men.
- 3:40And then, uh, they also end up, ignoring lots of other red flags because they're only focused on the money that a guy has.
- 3:51Uh, in which, and then in addition to that, um.
- 3:55You have a lot of women going after the same men, right?
- 3:58So it does become a math problem at some point.
- 4:02So let's talk about all the different ways in which a man can be provider.
- 4:06Yes.
- 4:07Finances is a part of it.
- 4:09Um, you know, a lot of you get stuck in relationships where you're either going 50 50 with men or you're paying all a grown man's bills, and that's obviously very exhausting and taxing.
- 4:19On you.
- 4:19Now, I understand with the way math is adding up, especially in the United States and Canada and Western Europe right now, based on what we're seeing on the other YouTube channel that we have that, uh, the math ain't math in, in a lot of situations, and perhaps you do need two incomes.
- 4:35There's also a lot of situations where a woman.
- 4:38Is a breadwinner, for example.
- 4:40Or you have situations like me and my husband where we both ran businesses before we even met each other, you know, and we have these very complimentary skillsets that can make everybody a whole lot more money.
- 4:51So it's, it's more nuanced than, you know, he's, he's.
- 4:56A millionaire is what I'm trying to say.
- 4:59But however, right, even if a man perhaps maybe at this very moment does not have the means with which to, for example, uh, pay all the bills.
- 5:10'cause again, I understand that things are a little difficult.
- 5:13North of the border where I am right now, there's two main things that you wanna be looking for.
- 5:19And number one, that is the desire to want to be a provider.
- 5:25If he has the desire, he's gonna work his butt off to do it.
- 5:29Uh, so that's the main thing that you're looking for.
- 5:31And number two, that whatever money he does have at this moment, he's very generous, uh, with that money.
- 5:38So.
- 5:40He, he's not stingy.
- 5:41Right.
- 5:41And he's not demanding that you go 50 50 and he's not sitting at home doing nothing.
- 5:47He's actually going out into the workforce and doing stuff.
- 5:52Right, because there's a lot of you also in the comments who are like, oh yeah, you know, I was married to men who did nothing and I was the one paying all the bills.
- 5:59No, no, no, no, no, no.
- 6:00That is not a provider, right?
- 6:01So it's not just about money.
- 6:03It's a lot more nuanced.
- 6:05Uh, and again, with the way all the bills and things are all set up right now in, in north of the border, like I said, I know that it can be a lot more challenging.
- 6:12So we're looking for the characteristics of a provider man.
- 6:15Now, obviously, right?
- 6:16If you run into a man and he's like, baby, I'll take care of all the bills.
- 6:19Great.
- 6:20Right.
- 6:21Uh, but some of you might be in a situation because of the situ economic situation going on in the world right now, where maybe that's not feasible, in which case he needs to have the desire to do it.
- 6:32He has, he needs to have the desire to actually want to be that provider for you, and he needs to be putting in the action.
- 6:39To actually do it.
- 6:41Uh, not like some of the dudes that have been showing up in the comment section on this video, fighting with a woman, which is already pretty feminine on their part and saying things like, oh yeah, if it was reversed, then, um, you know, that would sound ridiculous.
- 6:55Like, I, women need to pay the bills, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
- 6:57We're trying to avoid all of that.
- 6:59I actually showed those comments to my husband and he was shocked, this person was basically arguing, right?
- 7:05That, uh, women like us are, um, psycho because we're asking, uh, men.
- 7:12To pay all the bills.
- 7:13And if it was like reversed, it would sound absolutely crazy.
- 7:16And we're like, yeah, it does sound absolutely crazy Reversed, but not because of a double standard, but because men and women have different roles.
- 7:23So anyway, I showed my husband those comments and he's like, oh my God, is this what women are dealing with?
- 7:29I was like, yes.
- 7:30So anyway, the good news is that when they comment below, then you know, not to date those guys.
- 7:35So see, there you go.
- 7:36Um, okay, so now let's talk about other things that make a.
- 7:40Provider, man.
- 7:41So number one, problem solving.
- 7:44Okay, this is huge.
- 7:45You wanna go find a man who solves problems, not a man that you have to baby to go solve problems.
- 7:52So for example, my husband's actually a very good example of this, and literally everybody in our neighborhood.
- 7:56Notices this where like he, our landlady was actually visiting us last night to tell us that she wants us to buy the house.
- 8:02And she was like, do you see how, what a good job he does fixing everything in this house?
- 8:06I'm like, yeah, I don't even know what's broken.
- 8:08Like, he, he just goes to fix it.
- 8:09I have no idea.
- 8:11I don't even know what's happening.
- 8:13Um, or for example, let's say, um, I'm trying to film something or I'm stuck with a tech thing or something, he's like immediately here, uh, trying to solve that problem.
- 8:22That is also an indicator of a man who is a provider.
- 8:26Another indicator of a man who is a provider is a man who provides a lot of structure.
- 8:31So especially for those of you who like work with spouses, right?
- 8:35Or you run businesses together, even if you run households together because you know, a household is essentially a business in a lot of ways.
- 8:42Um.
- 8:43You know, oftentimes the, the feminine is more of like the creative, right?
- 8:47So that's why you'll see me doing a lot of videos and stuff like that.
- 8:50And I'm the one who has all these crazy ideas and I'm just like constantly expressing, in other words.
- 8:55And then the masculine provides a lot more of like structure, uh, traditionally.
- 8:59So if he's providing structure for you, uh, in business and in life, that is also pretty good indicator of a man with a provider mindset.
- 9:10And then, uh, finally.
- 9:12One of the things that you are going to want to find is, Forward planning and forward thinking, that is usually also a, uh, sign of a provider, right?
- 9:23So a lot of you get strung along in relationships, uh, particularly those of you who've been in relationships for a very long time and you wanna get married and you're still not married.
- 9:33You know who you are.
- 9:34Um, if a man is not.
- 9:36Sharing the future plans with you.
- 9:38That is not a provider.
- 9:39Man.
- 9:40Provider men know very quickly what it is that they want, uh, and they will share those plans with you, right?
- 9:47They will start making plans and they will start sharing those plans, uh, with you.
- 9:53So ultimately, at the end of the day, what we're looking for is the characteristics of a man who is a provider, and really understanding that this is a far more nuanced topic than perhaps sound bites on the internet.
- 10:06Make it seem like.
- 10:07And in addition to that, um, understanding that, you know, if you learn how to identify the characteristics of a provider man, then many of you won't feel forced into making a ton of money in order to avoid men, because that used to be me, many of us.
- 10:22Um.
- 10:23We're raised that we need to make our own money and so on and so forth as a way to protect ourselves from men.
- 10:29And I saw a colleague of mine and and friend post this the other day, and she talks a lot about these topics as well.
- 10:36And she's like, what if you just learned how to, um.
- 10:39Recognize the good character instead of having to feel like you protect yourself with money.
- 10:46So that's an interesting, uh, food for thought because those of you who are very high achieving especially perhaps have some sort of, uh, idea in your mind that the way to protect yourself from men is to make a lot of money.
- 11:01And what I'm proposing is learn how to identify a good man and then you won't have to worry.
- 11:07About making so much money.
- 11:08And I say that as a recovering achievement addict, and obviously I'm still very ambitious.
- 11:12We've got two YouTube channels going, uh, right now or that I'm managing, uh, that started for fun and then turned into businesses, right?
- 11:22And I allow that prosperity, uh, into my life.
- 11:26But, um, you know, so I understand it's not that easy, but once you learn how to, um, identify the characteristics.
- 11:34Then it's a lot more easy to chill out.
- 11:37And then we're having another conversation.
- 11:39Those of you who are have to heal from that like I did, which is like, oh, okay, so now what does this dynamic look like in a relationship?
- 11:46But that is a video for another time.
- 11:49If you guys like this video, please go ahead and give it eight thumbs up.
- 11:52Uh, subscribe, hit the notification bell, do all the things so you never miss another video that we have coming out on this channel.
- 11:57You're not going to see me as often on this channel just because, um.
- 12:02Our project about entrepreneurship and international living and global citizenship, that's really taking off right now.
- 12:09If you're interested in international living real estate all over the world, if you're interested in knowing what it's like to live in different countries and different cultures and things like that, then you can go subscribe to, uh, the other YouTube channel that I'm running right now called.
- 12:24Entrepreneur, expat.
- 12:25And that's the one that I do together, uh, with my husband.
- 12:28He, I, he says eventually he's gonna come on this channel to talk to men, to tell'em to get their shit together.
- 12:34Uh, but we're not there yet because his other projects have, uh, they're taking up most of his time right now.
- 12:39So you may not see me as much.
- 12:42But that doesn't mean I'm not here.
- 12:43I'm responding to each and every single one of your comments as often as I can, and as soon as I'm able to come on and answer these questions like I did today, then I absolutely will.
- 12:53So thank you so much again for giving me your time today.
- 12:55You can check out all our resources in the description and I'll catch you on the next one.