Latest / Becoming Irresistible / Season 2, Episode 12. How to Practice Like a Master.

Transcript

Season 2, Episode 12. How to Practice Like a Master. · Becoming Irresistible

• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Becoming Irresistible.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Jay, a high achievement lifestyle strategist and irresistibility expert.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're going to talk about something that took me quite a long time to figure out.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm hoping this will really accelerate the progress for my high achievers out there.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: And this specific topic is how to practice like a master.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the reason why some people improve 10 times faster than other people do, even when they're practicing the same amount of time.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you've wondered at times that two people can spend the same amount of time practicing, but end up in completely different places.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Two students that practice a piano, one is performing at Carnegie Hall, and the other one not really able to perform anything.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then they essentially feel like they didn't have talent.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: And you can see the same thing in sports.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Some athletes will practice for the same amounts of time, and one will go on to earn a college scholarship, the other one stays exactly where they started.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Most people assume that the difference is a natural God-given talent.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: But I think what creates the big difference between the outcomes for those two people is something much simpler.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Masters practice differently.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that's encouraging because it means you don't necessarily need to put in more time than another person to get better.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: It just means you need to reevaluate the strategy that you're using right now.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm going to share five ways that masters approach practicing differently.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: And you can use these ideas whether you're learning an instrument or preparing for an interview, playing a sport, or even studying for an exam, or even if you're trying to become a better parent.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: It basically can apply to any skill that really matters to you.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: The first principle I believe is the most important.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the thing that took me a long time to understand.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: When I was young, people would say, Go and practice.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I loved playing the piano, and I would sit there and I'd play and I'd practice it.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: But I'd see my other friends go on to become excellent, and yet I never seemed to be able to keep up with the other people around me.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that's because I didn't have a clear understanding of what an actual practice session should look like.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: One of the biggest mistakes that people make, and it's the same one that I was making, is treating practice like it's just a block of time.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like putting in the block of time is going to equate with advancement.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: That studying for an hour or practicing an instrument or working on a foreign language is going to actually advance you based on the number of hours you put in.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not actually true.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's a schedule.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's true that you will get better with the more time that you put in, but to truly advance and become a master at something, it's not about scheduling.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: To truly advance and become a master at something, you need to reframe the way you think about practice because masters don't actually schedule time, they schedule outcomes.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Before they start, they already know exactly the success they're going to achieve.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of saying, I'm just going to practice for 30 minutes today, they say, by the end of my practice session today, I'll be able to play this block of music without making a mistake.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Or they will say, by the end of this session, I'll be able to make that specific chord change on the guitar.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you're playing a sport, I'll be able to make 10 straight baskets without missing.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: You see, although the time block is important because you're going to set aside that time, really your goal is to achieve the outcome.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can understand that, it's going to change the way you practice anything and everything.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it's a five-minute session, get clear on the thing that you're supposed to achieve in that five minutes.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Every practice session should have a purpose before you start.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think one of the best questions you can ask yourself before starting a practice session is this.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: If this session is successful, what is the thing that I will be able to do that I wasn't able to do before?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can't answer that question, you're probably just hoping that putting in effort and time is going to equal improvement.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not the case.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Masters don't hope for outcomes, they aim for outcomes.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm here to improve, fill in the blank.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: You need to be able to finish that sentence before you start your practice.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: That one habit alone could completely change the way you learn.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: The second tip that masters use is that they practice at the edge of their ability.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Once you know what your mission is, the next step is choosing the right level of difficulty.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us naturally practice things we're already comfortable doing because it feels good.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, success is rewarding.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: So we think, okay, if I can do this thing and I do the same thing over and over for 30 minutes, that's going to feel like success.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: That means I'm good.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: But masters don't do this.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Masters push the envelope.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: They actually practice outside of their comfort zone.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: They try to do things they can't do, they do the scary things.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: On the other hand, though, if something is so difficult that you fail every single time, you're probably not going to learn much there either.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: You want to be between the comfort zone and between something being too hard.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: You want to be on the edge of the envelope and pushing the boundaries, but not past the boundary.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Masters spend their time in the middle of their comfort zone and the outer edge.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: And they choose those challenges which they know can stretch them but isn't past their reach.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Think about lifting weights.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: If a weight is too light, your muscles don't really adapt or change.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: But if it's too heavy, you can't even lift it at all.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: So you're not going to make any progress because you won't be able to pick it up off the ground.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: The greatest growth happens when the challenge is just beyond what your current ability is.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: And learning works the same way.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: So the next time you're practicing, ask yourself, am I challenging myself enough that I have to think, adjust, improve, question myself to really know what I'm doing?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: If the answer is no, it might be time to raise the difficulty.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: The third tip that masters use is they break skills into pieces.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: During most of their practice sessions, masters rarely practice the entire performance.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: A beginner will try to play the whole song, but masters actually spend 20 minutes practicing that one transition that they keep missing.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Dancers, when they can't do an entire movement, may practice just their feet first or their arm movements first, breaking it down into pieces that they can actually handle before incorporating the other pieces.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: And in sports, masters may take the time to put in hundreds of repetitions on free throws or on specific footwork skills.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Complex skills are really collections of smaller skills that you master and they become natural.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: And when you isolate the weakest piece, that improvement happens much faster.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: If you attempt to just play the whole piece and never improve the parts where you're having the difficulty specifically, it's not going to be productive because you're just going to keep repeating the same mistakes.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: And repetition of the same mistakes isn't going to give you progress.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes, even when it feels more tedious and slower, sometimes the fastest way forward is actually to slow things down and fix one tiny part.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: The fourth thing that masters do is they seek feedback instead of repetition.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that's another trap that people fall into.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: They assume that repeating something enough times will eventually make them better.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it does.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: It definitely is going to put you in a better place than you were before by just repetition, but it also can sometimes make the same mistakes permanent.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: If you're practicing the one mistake over and over and over again, you're going to keep repeating that mistake.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: So it's really important to slow down in order to fix those mistakes.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: And you can do that by asking for feedback.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that feedback might come from a coach or a teacher, a mentor, or even a recording of yourself, even watching yourself in a mirror.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: The point is that every practice session creates information.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Don't waste that.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: At the end of every session, you're going to ask yourself three questions.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: What improved today?
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: What still needs work?
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: And what should tomorrow's mission be?
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm sure you're sitting there thinking, well, what if I set at the beginning of this practice session, I am going to be able to do this thing that I wasn't able to do before?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to be able to play this part of the music that I wasn't able to play before.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'm going to be able to do that chord transition that I couldn't do before.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then you practice and you still can't get it.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: What happens then?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you need to put more time into mastering that skill before progressing.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Does that mean that your practice time was wasted?
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: No, it wasn't.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: You are tuning and honing your ability or even just learning maybe a new way to try to achieve that goal because the way that you were trying today isn't working.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: But what you're doing is you're still focusing on that specific outcome for your practice until you get it.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Which is why you at the end of your practice, you need to ask yourself what improved today.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you didn't achieve that outcome, then maybe tomorrow's practice is now going to be to finish that mission or to try a new way to achieve that mission.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of, okay, we were supposed to achieve this outcome and it didn't happen, now we're off track.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: The goalpost will change as you acquire the skill.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's not set in stone what that timeline will be.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Ideally, you would each practice session achieved the outcome, but in reality, most of the time that doesn't happen.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you're going to have to spend three, four days, a week, maybe even a month, practicing one thing in order to get that thing right.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then you can move forward.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: But the good news is, if you don't achieve your outcome today, then you already know what your outcome for the next day might be.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Your future practice session should naturally grow out of the practice session that you have going on at the present.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how improvement actually compounds and accelerates the fastest over weeks, months, and years.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: The last thing that masters do is they practice for reality, not for perfection.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: I used to have a piano teacher who said, you need to be able to play this piece three times perfectly.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And they make me stop and fix any mistakes I had each time I played.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because once I was able to play it three times through perfectly, that meant I was an expert at that at that piece.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: However, I had another teacher who said, I don't want you to stop if you mess up, because in a real life performance, you're going to have to be able to keep going even if you mess up.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: So, like I had said before, there's some mistakes that you can train by repetition.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I had trained over some years to stop every time I made a mistake, which actually was not what was required for real life performance.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: In real life performance, you can't stop.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so that is how you should be practicing for reality, not for when everything is ideal.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Reality includes distractions, right?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Pressure, unexpected questions, equipment failures, and sometimes slips.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you're practicing, you have to practice considering that those things could happen.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: How are you going to recover?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: What is the next thing you can do?
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: What's a way to disguise those mistakes, maybe?
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: If you're preparing for an interview, don't just practice the perfect answers.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Practice what happens if you slip up and you've forgot what you were going to say.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: How do you recover from that?
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Is there something clever you could say to give yourself a moment of time to get back on track?
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: So practicing failure as well as practicing success is important.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that applies to multiple fields.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you're giving a presentation, practice what you do if your slides suddenly stop working or you forgot them at home.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: What are you going to do?
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a musician, what happens if you lose your place?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Are you repeat that same part of the music again by accident?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: How are you going to recover?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're an athlete, what happens when you're tired?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Practice playing when you're tired to see how you need to adjust.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Anyone can perform when things are ideal.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: But masters train for the moments when they're not ideal.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because the person who knows how to recover from mistakes is often more successful than the person who never expects to make one.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're a parent, there's a small change in mindset you can make that might have a huge impact on your child.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of asking your child, how long did you practice today?
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: Instead ask them, what was the goal for your practice today?
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Did you achieve it?
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: What did you improve?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Did you work through any mistakes finally?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: These questions teach children that practice isn't just about putting in the time and they'll begin measuring themselves by growth instead of the hours they put in.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: I believe that's a much healthier way to learn and it's going to truly accelerate their progress.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: In closing, I'd like to leave you with a challenge.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: This week, don't practice any longer than you normally would.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Keep the same amount of time, but before every practice session, whether you're studying, learning an instrument, exercising, preparing for an interview, or even building a business, write down one sentence.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: By the end of today, I will be able to fill in the blank.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then after you're done with that session, ask yourself whether you accomplished it.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you did, then choose your next mission.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: And if you didn't, ask why and figure out what you're going to do differently for the next practice session in order to achieve it.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Come back with a better plan for the next time.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because Mastery isn't built an hour at a time.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's built one intentional practice session at a time.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for listening.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know someone who's working toward excellence and maybe they're stuck or maybe they're finding their progress slow, whether they're a student, an athlete, a parent, or just someone trying to improve in general, then feel free to share this episode with them.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: In reality, all of our programs are about teaching these foundational concepts that help people to accelerate their success and to find true fulfillment in life.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to learn more about those foundational concepts, just as we talked about here today with practicing, there's foundational concepts for relationships, success, and careers, longevity and vitality, and happiness.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: And by understanding those foundational concepts and the added bonus of the principles of irresistibility we teach, you will gain a real advantage over most people that will allow you to build your own irresistible life, one that you truly love living, where you don't want to be anyone but you.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we would like to see for every person in this world.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: Those foundational concepts will help you to build that life, that irresistible life, in an accelerated manner, avoiding most of the common mistakes that people make in that journey.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, stay irresistible.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see you back soon.