Latest / Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections / Networking Unleashed: An Interview with Anca Platon Trifan and Michael A Forman, Professional Speaker

Transcript

Networking Unleashed: An Interview with Anca Platon Trifan and Michael A Forman, Professional Speaker · Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections

0:16
Welcome to Networking Unleashed, Building Profitable
0:20
Connections, where real conversations create
0:24
real opportunities. I'm your host, Michael Foreman,
0:27
and this show is about more than meeting people.
0:30
It's about rebuilding, strengthening, and protecting
0:33
the relationships that actually support your
0:36
success. Today's conversation hits a reality
0:39
many professionals face. Your world changes.
0:43
Your circle shifts. The old way of networking
0:46
no longer works. My guest is a disciplined international.
0:51
I'm sorry. My guest is a disciplined, intentional
0:55
approach to rebuilding a network from the ground
0:59
up with structure, follow -up, and self -leadership
1:03
at the center of it all. I'm just confusing all
1:09
my words together. We're talking about how to
1:12
choose the right connections, how to lead yourself
1:14
before you're reaching out to others, and how
1:17
to turn follow -up into repeatable habits instead
1:20
of forgotten tasks. If you're ready to stop leaving
1:23
relationships to chance and start building connections
1:26
that last, you're exactly where you need to be.
1:30
So buckle up, buttercup, get ready, because we're
1:33
going to begin this podcast. Anka, I just want
1:36
to welcome you to the podcast. I'm so glad that
1:40
you're here. And why don't you give us a little
1:42
backstory of how you got here today? Well, Michael,
1:46
thank you so much for having me. Super excited
1:49
to be part of this conversation. Short synopsis,
1:55
I would say that I first started my professional
1:59
career in radio. This was back in Romania while
2:02
I was still high school and college. I graduated
2:05
in computer science. Didn't want to do much in
2:09
it. Funny how life plays you when, you know,
2:14
many years later, all you do is coding and computer
2:17
and AI. So that's just that. Like the irony of
2:21
things. But really what I wanted to do with my
2:24
life was invest myself in AV production, which
2:27
is like unheard of if you're a young girl in
2:31
Romania, in a country that's traditionally and
2:34
culturally quite traditional in that sense. Like
2:37
the expectation was that I was going to finish
2:40
college, get married, have kids and forget about
2:43
my professional career. That did not work out
2:47
for me too well. That was not the dreams that
2:49
I had for myself. So because it didn't pan out
2:53
to be the direction that I wanted, I decided
2:57
to work just enough to get myself a one -way
3:00
ticket to US, the land of all opportunities.
3:03
That's what I had in my mind that this would
3:05
be. And I started my career in AV production,
3:10
actually, in LA from the ground up. Actually,
3:13
my card to getting in that field was knocking
3:16
at doors and telling people, hey, I can fix your
3:20
computers if you teach me how to do production.
3:24
And that worked once, and that's all I needed.
3:28
And I started working for this production company
3:31
down in LA, and we did a lot of amazing shows,
3:34
a lot of A -list celebrities, runaway shows,
3:38
and a lot of good stuff that really got me. to
3:42
be hands -on and learn everything that there
3:44
was to learn about audio production, video production,
3:47
lighting, everything and anything under the sun
3:50
in that space. And after doing that for a while,
3:53
I burned out because I happened to be someone
3:56
that truly invest themselves in all the way.
3:59
And then I moved to Portland, Oregon to start
4:03
working in corporate events because I figured
4:05
that's an easier lifestyle than live events,
4:09
than setting up stages. in the middle of nowhere
4:12
or putting on, you know, those concerts, which
4:15
is a lot of hard manual physical work. So that's
4:20
when I started my family as well. Eventually
4:22
that led to starting my own production agency.
4:25
And a lot of the clients that I have made relationship
4:29
with and network with carried over to my agency.
4:34
And then... We moved to Boise, where I now live.
4:38
Boise was an opportunity for my husband. It didn't
4:41
really quite matter for me where I was because
4:44
I was doing a lot of remote work anyway. And
4:46
one thing led to another. I got into other things.
4:50
I started my own podcast because at one point
4:53
I had those thoughts about, hey, I used to love
4:58
doing radio. I used to really enjoy that. How
5:01
come I don't have a podcast? And so I did, which
5:05
now is one of the top podcast, event podcast
5:09
in event technology and AI. And it's 11th season.
5:14
So it's been a minute. Also, I started doing
5:17
a lot of speaking on stages about AV production
5:20
at first, advocating for more women behind the
5:24
scenes. That's been something that I pioneered
5:26
over the years because for many years, I happened
5:29
to be the only woman behind the scene. team I
5:33
was either hands -on mixing or doing something
5:37
of a technical capacity and I was always surrounded
5:41
by guys always so it was like you look around
5:44
there like how come I'm the only one where are
5:46
the other women so you realize that there's a
5:49
lot of things that come in the way of that and
5:52
a lot of that has to do yes with the physical
5:55
aspect of hard work even now if you go to an
5:58
event and you look behind the scenes for the
6:01
most part, you're going to see the tech team
6:05
being predominantly male, right? Because not
6:08
only do you get there to be looking pretty and
6:12
mixing and pretending like you know what all
6:14
these buttons do, but you have to be there at
6:17
4 a .m. when you load in and you have to be there
6:20
at 3 a .m. when you load out. So it's a very
6:23
long span day that is very physical. So a concerned
6:32
i never shied away from hard work physical or
6:35
not i grew up hard work environment, like working
6:41
the fields. When I was a child, my parents had
6:44
a farm and you did what you had to do, which
6:48
also later in life pushed me into bodybuilding.
6:51
I realized my body is really strong. I can carry
6:54
not just I can carry a lot of weight, I can lift
6:56
a lot of weight, but I'm really built this way.
6:59
So that's pushed me into bodybuilding, into competing,
7:02
into doing really well. And all of that. coming
7:05
around the circle of life is that Now I embed
7:10
a lot of those lessons learned under the barbell
7:13
into the Fit for Events framework, which is leading
7:16
the conversations in the event space about burnout,
7:20
about performance, about capacity. Mental, physical,
7:23
emotional, and spiritual health are the pillars
7:26
that I really care about under that framework.
7:29
AI is a big part of the conversation, right?
7:31
It has really changed how we do things, how we...
7:36
automate a lot of the manual tasks that we used
7:40
to spend quite a bit of time on just in the last
7:42
few years alone. And as someone that I really
7:45
stayed on top of the latest and the greatest,
7:48
not just in AV production, but also in technology,
7:51
event technology, and anything and everything,
7:53
I think I just had a bit of a skill set to really
7:57
learn things easily and apply them practically
8:00
and then be able to tell others how things work.
8:04
I took it upon myself. right when Chagi PT came
8:06
out in 2020, 2022, something like that. It was
8:10
like around right after COVID to learn what this
8:14
thing is. What does it do? How does it work?
8:16
How can I make my life easier? Basically, that
8:19
was like the whole point of it. So that's my
8:23
trajectory through life. And when coming back
8:26
to our conversation, to the topic that I know
8:28
you're so fond of. All of that would not be possible
8:32
without relationships, without connections, without
8:35
people, right? Like you can look at your life
8:38
and say, I have accomplished so many things,
8:40
but that would be such vanity. And so much ego
8:44
embedded into that. Whereas everything that I
8:47
have accomplished is because there's someone
8:50
along the way that supported my growth trajectory.
8:54
Like when I got to LA and I met and I ended up
8:57
working in this production house, I met the chairman
9:01
that was the CEO of the company in. And to this
9:04
day, he's one of my best friends. We're talking
9:07
about 20 something years of a friendship that
9:10
a very professional friendship, but. It's those
9:13
people that you meet along the way, they mentor
9:16
you. And then in return, I hope that you give
9:20
back, right? So for me, the way I give back is
9:22
to the community of women in events. I started
9:25
an entire community of women in the events behind
9:27
the scenes. The girls that want to get in elite
9:32
tech positions, but they don't always know where
9:35
to start or they don't know what to do or they
9:37
don't know what they need to know or who they
9:39
need to talk to. get the opportunities that a
9:43
lot of guys get automatically just because of
9:47
the bias that still exists. If you're a guy,
9:49
you must know how to do this. Whereas someone
9:54
that comes in as a young girl, she's going to
9:57
be questioned. She's going to be tested. And
9:59
then she's going to have to prove herself again
10:01
and again. It's quite extensive, I want to tell
10:06
you. I have a series of questions for you. You've
10:10
answered. The majority of them just by speaking
10:13
first, but I'm going to go through the numbers.
10:17
Hey, I love conversations, Michael. I don't love
10:20
Q &A. We can choose what makes more sense for
10:24
us to delve more into. This is more conversational.
10:28
When someone's professional world shifts overnight,
10:32
what's the first mindset change they must make
10:36
before rebuilding their network? So I think we
10:41
all went through this, right, in 2020, when what
10:46
happened, at least to my side of the industry,
10:51
a lot of us, we have put our identity in what
10:55
we do, right? And when events went away and we
11:02
were faced with the question, who am I if I am?
11:07
not able to do the things that I used to do this
11:10
entire time, that kind of shakes your worldview.
11:14
That kind of shakes you internally, right? Because
11:17
you have to now face the demons, to face the
11:21
insecurities, to face yourself in a way that...
11:26
You are not willing to or able to because you
11:30
are constantly busy. You're constantly running
11:32
from one thing to the next. So I think what has
11:36
helped me the most in that aspect is to be able
11:41
to have a close network of people that could
11:47
answer that for me when I couldn't, when I couldn't
11:51
see. I couldn't see the trees because of the
11:54
forest. I couldn't see beyond My reality, which
11:58
was my whole professional foundation is gone.
12:02
Now, what do I do? For me personally, that just
12:04
meant reinventing, reinventing what I have done
12:07
in one space, which was the live events and in
12:12
-person events and transitioning that automatically
12:15
and automatically in three days. I had one event
12:18
that I had to take was 650 in person. We had
12:21
to transition it to a virtual format. And we
12:25
had to figure it out. And that's been my way
12:29
of reinventing. Okay, I have the skills. I know
12:33
how that applies in this area. I'm going to make
12:37
it happen in a completely different space. We
12:41
just need to figure out the framework, the model
12:44
that would work, right? But that wasn't just
12:46
me alone. It was a group of us putting our heads
12:49
together. So that's where I think networking
12:51
and relationship really matter because even though
12:54
on the outside, you could look at it and be like,
12:56
we were competitors. We were all like trying
13:00
to get those contracts, those events. that would
13:03
help us survive during a hard time. But what
13:08
came out of that instead was a lot of collaboration.
13:11
And there's this one term that I really liked
13:13
during that time was called Basically, yes, there's
13:18
still competition happening, but there's also
13:21
a lot of collaboration that is happening at the
13:24
same time, right? At the same time, how I know
13:27
that you can do, say, virtual events really good,
13:29
I know I can also do virtual events really good
13:32
because we are two different people. We have
13:33
a two different set of skills, but also we have
13:36
a different take on how that works, right? That's
13:41
kind of what came out of that hardship of figuring
13:45
out how to turn this one lemon into lemonade,
13:50
but not alone, but with others. Does that answer
13:53
your question, Michael? Yeah. I put a line in
13:56
the sand when it comes to the pandemic, right?
14:00
Before the pandemic. networking, as you say,
14:03
was all transactional. Everybody was super busy
14:07
and networking and everything else. Once the
14:09
pandemic happened, people had to stay inside.
14:13
They had to do everything virtually. Like you
14:16
said, in three days, you had to transform from
14:19
this outspoken person to some sort of a person
14:22
behind the camera. But one thing that we had
14:26
to learn or relearn was as we started to come
14:30
out of the pandemic, People weren't following
14:34
it. They weren't getting back into the relationship
14:37
side of the transaction. Things were all transactional
14:41
beforehand. It's relationship oriented afterwards.
14:45
And people forgot how to network. They forgot
14:49
how to communicate. My goal after I'm doing all
14:52
the workshops and keynotes and everything else
14:55
is just telling people that. Telling people,
14:59
look. I always say 20 -somethings in the audience,
15:03
30 -somethings, they always raise their hands.
15:05
Oh, yeah. I'm like, what I'm telling you is going
15:08
to be completely Greek because nobody showed
15:11
you. If I think about just the... The function
15:16
of networking, if I were to dissect what is networking,
15:20
I think for a lot of people, networking means
15:22
collecting a bunch of contacts. But to me, it's
15:26
building alignment. Because people do not stay
15:29
connected to you just because you have this job
15:32
title, just because you are impressive in one
15:36
way or another. I think they stay because they
15:38
feel part of what you're building if you're able
15:41
to draw them in. way to lose someone is to just
15:48
walking and trying to impress. At least for me,
15:50
that does not work. That's actually such a turnoff.
15:54
But then the fastest way on the flip side to
15:56
build a network is to invite people into a shared
15:59
direction. So I think what you're saying is that
16:02
what the pandemic did, it brought us into this
16:05
one shared direction for all of us to get out
16:08
of it. And that was our shared vision. Eventually
16:11
we did. And then the question that I have to
16:14
you is, do you feel like our networking has gone?
16:19
back to our old habits? Or do you feel like we're
16:22
doing better because we had to go through it?
16:24
Because sometimes I feel like we've forgotten
16:27
a lot of the lessons we have learned during the
16:31
pandemic. It's changed. It's changed. When I
16:34
said it's more relational, I used to be in the
16:37
mortgage industry. And when I went to a networking
16:40
event, I came home with a shoebox filled with
16:43
business cards. And I'd say, look how good I
16:45
did when I did. horribly. Now, the way I teach
16:51
people is that if you go to a three or four hour
16:53
networking event, you come back with 15, maybe
16:57
20 business cards, because those are the people
17:00
that you spoke with, you had a relationship with,
17:03
that you talked about something that you were
17:05
familiar with. So if you spent 15, 20, 25 minutes
17:09
with this person, you created that whole feeling.
17:14
And I tell everybody, On the back of the person's
17:18
business card, there's a whole series of events
17:20
that has to go in before you get there. But once
17:23
you get that card, you write down the date, the
17:27
name of the event, and something you spoke about.
17:29
So when you follow up with them, you can remember
17:32
what you spoke about. But that's where it is.
17:36
It's 15 to 20 business cards instead of 200.
17:40
Absolutely. And then maybe out of those 15 business
17:44
cards, you actually know something about those
17:47
people. You make it personal. I think that's
17:51
the biggest thing that people forget that for
17:54
it to really grow beyond, hey, here's my business
17:57
cards and thanks for your business card, which
17:59
now it goes into shoebox that I'm not sure if
18:02
I'm going to ever get back to ever again, is
18:04
being able to come back to it and say, hey, Michael,
18:07
I really liked when you told me X, Y, Z about
18:11
Georgia and how you used to live in New York
18:14
and how winter was back then. And now why is
18:18
everybody talking? talking about a snow megadon
18:21
when we've done survive war style exactly and
18:24
that's that's half the value of putting the information
18:27
on the back of the business card for when you
18:30
follow up you start your follow -up because it
18:33
remember now it takes between 8 and 15 touches
18:37
before they even respond to you yeah so it's
18:42
all in the follow -up so let me go on How do
18:46
you decide who belongs in your next chapter when
18:49
your old circle no longer fits where you're going?
18:52
That's a hard one. So I have a story to tell.
18:55
When I embraced this bodybuilding journey, because
18:59
I really needed to personally, when you come
19:02
to hit the wall really hard and realize, if I
19:06
don't make some changes right now, something
19:09
will break. So for me, that was going through
19:12
another burnout cycle. And then, because again,
19:15
I'm a workaholic. I sometimes try to say that
19:18
I'm recovering, but I'm not. There's not much
19:21
recovery from there. So I would work myself through
19:24
this burnout cycle. Pandemic was one of those,
19:27
like after the pandemic, as we were like building
19:29
this plane with virtual events, I got really
19:32
busy and I was doing like three virtual events
19:35
a day after day. It was like nonstop. So the
19:38
work was great because we're making money, we're
19:41
surviving, but it was taxing. Like when your
19:44
office becomes your workplace and there you have
19:47
no boundaries between going to work and coming
19:50
from work, that can be very dangerous. So bodybuilding
19:53
came out of that. needing to remove myself from
19:57
a space that now was like all involving in all
20:01
areas of my life, personal and professional,
20:04
and needing a space where I can go and not only
20:07
work on my physical conditioning, but also on
20:11
my mental capacity. I needed a place to break
20:15
away from family, from work, from kids, so I
20:18
can be by myself while also getting my system.
20:23
moving and working because you're sitting on
20:25
a chair for hours in the end. And when I did
20:28
that and I started becoming successful at it
20:31
in the sense that I started changing my body
20:33
composition. I started looking completely different.
20:36
I'm putting on muscle. I'm looking like pretty
20:39
fit and shredded. My circle of friends started
20:43
teening out. They started becoming insecure in
20:48
themselves because I no longer looked like them.
20:52
And I had to, and also our priorities were no
20:56
longer the same. And this happened even like
20:59
with my own husband, like for a little bit, we
21:01
were going through this hard patch because he
21:04
was still overweight and he was still struggling
21:07
to figure out how he was, what health looked
21:11
like. And he started becoming jealous because
21:14
I look so much better. And like, now I have the
21:17
hot wife, but the hot wife is really hot and
21:19
I don't know what to do with it. And then eventually
21:22
he had his own moment or revelation like, oh,
21:25
but if I actually spend some time on my health,
21:27
I could actually catch up with her. Thank God
21:32
that he did that. He actually did not start bodybuilding
21:34
with me. He's not the person to come into a gym
21:36
and be indoors. He loves biking. He loves running.
21:40
He's a marathon runner. And he started doing
21:42
the things that he was passionate about, which
21:43
completely changed then our dynamic and our priorities.
21:47
So going back to friends and priorities, that's
21:50
when I had to make a choice. There's people that
21:53
I can no longer take with me in this future.
21:56
And this future for me is healthspan, lifespan,
22:00
fitness. spend, the things that I care about
22:02
now are no longer the same things that I used
22:05
to care in the past. I no longer care to go to
22:07
a party. I no longer care to have a wine at the
22:10
end of the day. I no longer care to do all these
22:12
happy hours, things that they don't serve me
22:15
anymore. So that was a hard call because now
22:18
I had to look at this group of friends that were
22:20
dear to me and say, not necessarily say to their
22:24
face, but create the distance to choose only
22:28
the ones that were just as mindful about their
22:30
health as I was. So we can move together in step
22:35
versus these other people. They're like. almost
22:39
shaming me into why do you spend so many hours
22:42
at the gym? Like, why do you have to look any
22:45
better than what you already look? Like all those
22:47
things that are toxic and that just don't serve
22:51
you. So that needed a decision and I needed to
22:56
make that. And even though I still see those
22:58
friends from time to time, I no longer spend
23:01
my time like I used to in that cycle. Because
23:05
what do they say about friendships? Don't they
23:07
say that, Whom you surround yourself with, that's
23:10
who you become. I already had a different vision
23:13
of who I wanted to become. And the people around
23:17
me did not serve that anymore. Absolutely. Absolutely.
23:21
I couldn't agree with you more. And when you
23:24
change your mindset, it's not that they had to
23:27
change theirs completely, but if they didn't
23:29
accept the way you changed, then really you're
23:33
going to leave them behind because there's no
23:35
place for them. And how good of a friend were
23:38
they really if they wouldn't adapt? So you weigh
23:42
all that together. That's very good. And sometimes
23:45
it's funny now because years later, as they kept
23:47
seeing me improving and keeping at it, because
23:50
it wasn't going to be just a season for me, they're
23:52
snapping now into it themselves. In this cycle
23:57
of life, I can see reconnecting eventually. at
24:02
the same level that we used to be if they're
24:05
just as focused as me on the things that matter
24:08
on health spend like i said and longevity and
24:12
putting in the time so there is redemption it's
24:16
just sometimes the timing can be off and for
24:20
me that was true Their mindset where they would
24:25
go to a bar, they go to after hours and they
24:28
go to whatever, their mind will shift and say,
24:31
you know what? Maybe I'll spend that extra time
24:34
in the gym and we'll spend time together doing
24:37
that. You could still have a great time, but
24:40
your mind shifted. And if they will shift even.
24:45
half the way with yours then you can be friends
24:49
again but if they're going to hold you back then
24:53
you wrote a they really weren't friends to begin
24:55
with and b you don't want them anymore yeah in
25:01
your experience how does personal discipline
25:04
show up in the quality of relationships people
25:09
attract Yeah, I had to learn this the hard way
25:13
again. I kind of tend to learn lessons the hard
25:18
way. This for me took the form of emotional relationships.
25:24
I had this one emotional relationship that I
25:28
struggled with the most because I really attach
25:32
as a friend to someone that was not ready to
25:36
have the same level of attachment. And I did
25:39
not have the discipline. to remove myself and
25:44
let go. And I think that was actually the start
25:47
of me needing to work on something else that
25:51
I felt like I had control over. If my emotional
25:54
life was like just out of control because I couldn't
25:57
figure out how to get a hold of it and make it
26:01
work for me instead of against me, I figured,
26:04
okay, I'm going to work on my physical health
26:06
because then At least I have control over that,
26:10
like what I can do with my body and what my body
26:12
can do. So to build the discipline for that to
26:16
be true. It can take different forms and it can
26:20
take a journey and a longer or a shorter journey,
26:24
depending of where you are, like depending where
26:27
you are in your life. For the longest time, I've
26:29
always, for me, the emotional aspect of myself
26:32
was something that I didn't want to deal with.
26:36
I'm someone that's very hardheaded. When I put
26:38
something in my mind, I go and get it done. And
26:41
there's very little outside influences to...
26:46
stop me from accomplishing what I put my mind
26:49
to do which was like I have this very strong
26:53
will to do to get things done and emotionally
26:55
if something didn't align with my drive I would
26:59
just throw it under the rug it's not important
27:02
I'm not gonna deal with it it's not necessarily
27:03
for me to deal with it which kind of like builds
27:06
right it builds and it builds until at one point
27:09
you're like this can't build anymore there's
27:11
no more room in this tank to build and it's gonna
27:16
come out. So I needed to figure out how to take
27:21
control over that, how to be more disciplined
27:24
with my emotions, the same way how I'm disciplined
27:27
with my body, how I'm disciplined with my routine,
27:30
with my calendar, with my relationships. So it
27:34
was a hard lesson and it took a few years for
27:38
me to go through that whole process. Obviously,
27:40
it took some help with the therapist, going back
27:43
into your whole history. I didn't realize I had
27:46
all this childhood drama that I needed to deal
27:48
with. But I think at the end of the day, day
27:50
it comes down to needing to work on the things
27:54
that you keep avoiding to work on thinking that
27:57
they don't matter until they really do because
28:01
at the end of the day discipline is just promising
28:04
is just keeping the promises you made to yourself
28:07
whatever that looks like in which area of your
28:10
life and it was important to me to be disciplined
28:14
in all aspects of my life but I couldn't handle
28:17
it in some areas because there's too much work
28:21
that needed to be done in the first place before
28:23
I got to the level where I was ready for discipline
28:26
to apply on top. It's like raising a kid that
28:29
you're trying to discipline, but there's so much
28:32
other things that get in the way of that because
28:36
they're growing, because they're emotional, because
28:38
they have resentment, because they think it's
28:41
unfair, because all of those things that are...
28:44
packaged and then when you're trying to discipline
28:46
it's just one thing that you're barely touching
28:49
the surface but you're not even getting to the
28:51
root of the problem yes very good very good you're
28:55
fit for events framework yes it's structure and
29:01
consistency to relationships yeah what shifts
29:05
when networking stops being casual and starts
29:09
being intentional I think the biggest for me
29:13
has been presence. Spending intentional time
29:20
with the people that I want to be closer with
29:26
and the people that I wanted to grow with versus
29:31
just spreading myself in small pieces here and
29:35
there, everywhere. And presence means putting
29:39
aside sometimes your own schedule, your own priorities,
29:42
just to have a conversation with someone, just
29:46
to learn more about them, just to see where they're
29:51
coming from. So you understand what their challenges
29:55
are, how you could help them in return. And then
29:59
still on the same token, I feel like... None
30:04
of this really works if there's so much, like
30:08
conferences are so prevalent where there's so
30:10
much cognitive load and so much context switching
30:13
that happens all the time. So your nervous system
30:16
is constantly attacked. It's just basically wrecked.
30:19
You go to an event and you come back and you
30:22
feel like you need rest. You need to rest from
30:24
the event, even though that was supposed to be
30:26
something that was a recreational, not just something
30:30
that you worked. So one of the realization that
30:33
I had was that, one, there is those challenges
30:36
that we all have that we need to be aware of.
30:38
Two, you can communicate well and clearly when
30:42
you're already tired, exhausted and fried. And
30:45
you can be present if all of those things are
30:48
true. The Fit for Events framework is more about
30:52
how do we look at our mental, our emotional,
30:56
our physical, and our spiritual capacity in a
31:00
way that supports our leadership functions, in
31:04
a way that supports our presence with other people.
31:07
Not just self -care for myself, but capacity
31:11
for others too. In so many ways, high performance
31:15
with regulation that can help you achieve your
31:20
goals in whatever area or space that you're in.
31:24
And the way we do that is by turning well -being
31:28
into a system instead of just a phase. Oh, I'm
31:31
just going to lose 20 pounds. No, that's not
31:34
what we do. That's not what we want to do, right?
31:37
It's not just something that you do now. It's
31:40
something that you maintain. And it's like this
31:42
lifestyle that you sign up for because you know
31:46
it's good for you. One of the ways in which it's
31:48
important for me to look at this, especially
31:50
when I have those conversations, is let's look
31:52
at what is your minimum standard on... a very
31:58
busy day, not your best day standard, right?
32:01
Your worst day standard, the day when you are
32:05
traveling for events, the day when you are working
32:07
nonstop, the day when you're overbooked, the
32:10
day when you're mentally wiped. decide in advance
32:13
what still counts as a win for you. That could
32:17
be 20 minutes of walking around the block or,
32:20
I don't know, hitting your protein goal or not
32:23
skipping lunch or breakfast or something, right?
32:27
Because our systems survive on minimums, not
32:30
just on motivation. And then... Pre -plan in
32:34
advance, relentlessly. I have gone through several
32:37
prep, bodybuilding prep phases while I was in
32:41
the busiest season for events. And without pre
32:45
-planning, that would have all failed. That would
32:47
have not worked. So well -being does not survive
32:51
improvisation. Oh, I'm going to figure it out.
32:53
No, when you're hungry and you have to eat and
32:56
you have to stay within your macros and within
32:58
your goals, you don't make shit up like you need.
33:02
to know in advance what are your options so you
33:05
don't stray off you don't fall off the wagon
33:07
so for example when you're traveling you already
33:10
know that you're going to stay at this hotel
33:12
you already know where your meals are coming
33:14
from you already know what that gym looks like
33:17
plan in advance where are you going to wait like
33:20
I check out those restaurants around the area
33:24
where I'll be to see their menu doesn't fit my
33:27
goals. And I will go to the ones that do. So
33:30
all of the, or if I feel like it does not, then
33:32
I always pre -plan meals with me. I bring stuff
33:35
with me. So I have in the case where I might
33:38
be on this threshold floor for 10 hours and there's
33:41
nothing around this convention center where I
33:43
can just go and grab something. And instead of
33:46
just falling prey to the pizza that was delivered,
33:48
because for some that's acceptable form of nutrition,
33:52
I would rather have something with me. ready
33:55
to go, right? Because that not only removes the
33:58
decision fatigue, but also protects that minimum
34:02
standard that you set for yourself, no matter
34:05
where your environment is and how it changes.
34:08
And then thirdly is the mindset. that you spoke
34:12
of right in the beginning. That's a non -negotiable.
34:15
And I think a lot of people, they just keep negotiating
34:18
with themselves because they're like, oh, I'm
34:20
too tired. Oh, I don't feel like doing this today.
34:25
And then they break some promises that they've
34:27
made to themselves that if I go to this event,
34:30
I'm going to work out every single day, or I'm
34:32
going to have a walk around the hotel every single
34:36
day, or I'm going to do a yoga, whatever it is
34:38
that you want to do, right? For me, every kept
34:41
promise to myself reinforces my identity. And
34:45
it's not about just being extreme and strict
34:48
with myself. It's about being honest. Because
34:51
all the systems that I build to support me, they're
34:54
built on self -trust. And when that cracks, I
34:58
think everything else follows. If I can trust
35:01
myself to do what I said that I would, then I
35:04
don't trust myself to do a bunch of other things.
35:09
Yes. Yes and yes. I agree with every point that
35:12
you made. And I can really continue this podcast
35:18
on for another two hours. Yes. I have about 20
35:21
questions just for you. But let's bring this
35:24
podcast full circle. If someone wanted to rebuild
35:28
a profitable, reliable network in the next 90
35:32
days, what's one habit? You would create the,
35:38
that would create the biggest ripple effect.
35:41
I think one, you're probably the most experts
35:45
to answer this, but if I were to just weigh in
35:48
one thought that came to me as you were asking
35:51
the question is when you talk to someone, I never
35:56
pitch myself. My job is not to pitch. My job
36:03
is to have a conversation with them where there
36:07
is this one quiet question in the back of their
36:10
mind, in their nervous system, which is asking,
36:14
do I belong in this relationship? And my job
36:19
is to make sure that they do, because if that
36:22
is true, then everything else from there, it's
36:26
easier. So everything else could be working together
36:29
on a project. Everything else could be partnering
36:33
on some event. Everything else could be selling
36:36
business services and whatnot, right? Everything
36:39
else could be me being invited to speak at their
36:42
event next time we meet again, right? I am able
36:46
to provide a level of comfort where they know
36:49
that I welcome them and I make them feel like
36:54
they belong. I think everything else is so much
36:57
easier. I didn't understand this for a very long
37:00
time and it took me a while to grow to really
37:03
understand what that means. Because at the end
37:06
of the day, like you turn the mirror, right?
37:08
And you look in the mirror and say, why would
37:11
I want from this? Why would make me feel comfortable
37:15
to want to work with this person again? And that's,
37:19
if you can answer that, then I think it's easier
37:21
to then apply it to your network, to your relationship.
37:25
Because again, going back to one of those famous
37:28
cringy phrases, they are very true. Your network
37:32
is your net worth at the end of the day. And
37:35
for me, nothing has been more. more true than
37:39
growing my LinkedIn network, but not just growing
37:43
for the sake of growing a number, but really
37:46
having relationships with those people as in
37:49
I know who I can go to because I know what they
37:53
do, I know what they care about, and I know what
37:57
are their forte, right? So I don't care to accept
38:01
people in my network just because they're there.
38:04
I care to accept them because we have a conversation.
38:07
And I think that's probably where that belonging
38:11
comes into play the most. Again, you touched
38:16
on so many points. I happen to have eight digital
38:21
courses on my website. I knew you were the expert,
38:24
Michael. My main course is called Network to
38:30
Net Worth. That is the main course. And as soon
38:34
as you said it, I was like. Oh my God, there
38:37
it is. Have I studied your courses? But go on,
38:42
just take a look at what I have because they're
38:44
really good. I can have a whole section just
38:49
on each of the things that you've touched upon.
38:51
But anyway, but if somebody wanted to contact
38:55
you, wanted to hire you, or just discuss something
38:59
with you, where's the best place to find you?
39:03
As I mentioned, LinkedIn is the best place I
39:06
would ask people to connect with me because I
39:10
think it's a safe environment. But also I share
39:12
a lot of things that I'm passionate about, including
39:14
AI news, including the podcast, including bodybuilding.
39:18
I have several pillars that I distribute this
39:22
content in, and that's the best place. Obviously,
39:26
I have websites and emails and all that, but
39:28
I think that's one platform that we can all connect
39:31
on and feel like it. It's safe enough. That's
39:35
it. Perfect. That's what intentional networking
39:38
sounds like. Clear direction, consistent action,
39:42
and relationships built with purpose. If today's
39:46
episode got you thinking about who's in your
39:48
circle, how you follow up, or how you show up
39:52
as a leader in your own network, take one step
39:55
today, act on it. Strong connections are built
39:59
through consistency, not intentions. If you found
40:02
value here, share this episode with somebody
40:05
who's rebuilding, resetting, or ready for their
40:08
next chapter. Make sure you subscribe to Networking
40:11
Unleashed, building profitable connections so
40:14
you don't miss the conversations that help you
40:17
connect smarter and grow stronger. And if you're
40:20
ready to sharpen your networking skills even
40:22
further, visit foreman .com to see how I work
40:26
with professionals, teams, and organizations.
40:29
So until next time, lead yourself well, follow
40:32
up with purpose, and build connections that work
40:36
as hard as you do. Anka, I can't begin to thank
40:40
you enough for the time that you spent with us.
40:43
And thank you for coming on the podcast. Thank
40:46
you for having me. Well, hold on, folks. Don't
40:54
go anywhere. Let's hear from our sponsors. David
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41:46
A huge thank you to our guests for sharing such
41:49
insights today. And of course, a big shout out
41:52
to you, our amazing listeners, for tuning in
41:56
and spending your time with us. If you're interested
41:59
in my digital courses, being coached or having
42:02
me come and talk to your company, just go to
42:05
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42:09
networking isn't about being perfect. It's about
42:12
being present. So take what you've learned today,
42:15
get out there and make some meaningful connections.
42:18
If you've enjoyed this episode, please don't
42:21
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42:25
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42:27
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42:30
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42:35
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