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Pull the Weeds Out of Your Garden · Effective Communication

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  Speaker 1: And now effective communication with Phil Zeller, CEO Dale Carnegie, Southwest, Michigan.
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  Speaker 1: So I've decided to pull some weeds from the garden. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: my friends, keeping weeds out of your garden is always
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  Speaker 1: a great thing to do, isn't it. Well, my mother
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  Speaker 1: always said to me, she goes, you know, treat your
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  Speaker 1: brain like it's a garden, and make sure you fertilize it,
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  Speaker 1: and make sure you give it good plant food, and
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  Speaker 1: make sure you water it, and make sure that you
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  Speaker 1: pull the weeds out. So you're probably asking yourself, what
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  Speaker 1: is Phil talking about effective communication? Pulling the weeds out
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  Speaker 1: of the garden of life is where I'm talking about,
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  Speaker 1: my friends. I couldn't help myself. I did it. I've
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  Speaker 1: got a confession to make to you. I know some
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  Speaker 1: of you been listening to me for several years, and
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  Speaker 1: I do have to make a confession all of you today,
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  Speaker 1: whether this is your first time listening or you've been
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  Speaker 1: listening to us for years. Here. I appreciate you being
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  Speaker 1: here with this as an honor and privilege for me
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  Speaker 1: to be with you and share wisdom of the world
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  Speaker 1: with you here around the world. You know, I was
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  Speaker 1: looking at my social media feed the other day. And
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  Speaker 1: I don't know how often you check your feeds, but
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  Speaker 1: you see stuff coming in. And I saw some people
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  Speaker 1: posting negative stuff and it was very demeaning of other people,
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  Speaker 1: and it was negative. And once in a while, people
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  Speaker 1: do that because they're venting. I get it. Sometimes people
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  Speaker 1: vent they don't know how to communicate, so they just
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  Speaker 1: vent hoping that somebody will listen to them. But when
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  Speaker 1: you start to see a pattern of a person posting
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  Speaker 1: stuff that's negative and negative of other people, it really
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  Speaker 1: gets to the point where those people you realize they're
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  Speaker 1: unhappy people and though we want to help them, we
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  Speaker 1: can't help them unless they want help. And we've talked
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  Speaker 1: about that before in communication and in the show and
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  Speaker 1: working with people, because that's what we're working with. So
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  Speaker 1: you owe it to yourself to go through your social
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  Speaker 1: media feed and if you consistently see some negative stuff
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  Speaker 1: in there, you just basically have to stop that feed
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  Speaker 1: from coming your way because that feed is going to
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  Speaker 1: bring that negativity into your life, and that negativity is
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  Speaker 1: not going to make your life better. So that's my
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  Speaker 1: confession to you. I've been limiting some people's messages to
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  Speaker 1: myself that are less than constructive because they're just destructive.
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  Speaker 1: They're negative, they're attacking about other people. And when you
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  Speaker 1: attack people like that, it doesn't make the world a
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  Speaker 1: better place. Unfortunately, it does the debt opposite. Dale Carnegie
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  Speaker 1: talked a lot about this. He started this out in
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  Speaker 1: all of his research, and it was really interesting because
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  Speaker 1: and how to win friends and influence people, there's only
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  Speaker 1: one chapter and the whole book that tells you what
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  Speaker 1: not to do, and what he shares with you not
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  Speaker 1: to do with human beings is don't criticize, condemn our complain.
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  Speaker 1: It's the very first thing he shares and how to
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  Speaker 1: win friends influence people, and it is the only thing
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  Speaker 1: he tells you to not do. He says, don't criticize,
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  Speaker 1: condemn our complain, And one of the quotes he pulls
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  Speaker 1: out of there is any fool can criticize, and most
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  Speaker 1: oftentimes fools do. So you don't want to be a fool.
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  Speaker 1: I don't want to be a fool. We don't want
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  Speaker 1: to be seen as a negative person, bringing people down
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  Speaker 1: and making the world more difficult than it has to be.
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  Speaker 1: Last time I checked, you got enough challenges in your
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  Speaker 1: life without some Yahoo screaming in your ear, some hatred
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  Speaker 1: towards somebody else in this world. So the point being
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  Speaker 1: here is don't criticize condemic complain because it's not going
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  Speaker 1: to make your life any better by doing that. And
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  Speaker 1: as I think about it, you know you can break
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  Speaker 1: down criticism. And some people say to me, well, constructive
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  Speaker 1: criticism is good. Well, it depends if those rules are
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  Speaker 1: made up front it's constructive for both parties than it is.
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  Speaker 1: But in my social media feed like yours, I wasn't
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  Speaker 1: asking for their constructive criticism. They just chose to blow
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  Speaker 1: some steam and be negative. And so therefore I chose
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  Speaker 1: my right to shut that down and not have to
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  Speaker 1: see that because that is not bringing any positive in
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  Speaker 1: anybody's life. And there are a lot of people. I
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  Speaker 1: have one friend that recently shared with me the last
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  Speaker 1: several months, they've turned off the news. They're just not
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  Speaker 1: watching the news because it was too much negativity. And
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  Speaker 1: it's any step that you can take to remove the
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  Speaker 1: negative negativity from your life. And so, as Dale Carnegie
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  Speaker 1: shared by, don't criticize coademic complain, there's something you can
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  Speaker 1: do better, and that which is better is you can
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  Speaker 1: seek understanding and by focusing on what you can understand
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  Speaker 1: and what difference you can make, you're actually going to
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  Speaker 1: start to win people over your way of thinking. Because
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  Speaker 1: if you start with negative and you keep blasting negativity
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  Speaker 1: out there, what's going to happen is people are going
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  Speaker 1: to hear that, They're going to see that, and they're
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  Speaker 1: going to start to shut down because they don't want
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  Speaker 1: to hear that all the time because they don't want
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  Speaker 1: their life to be awful. Now, I understand, misery loves company,
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  Speaker 1: So a lot of times that people are posting the
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  Speaker 1: negative stuff out there, they're doing it because their life
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  Speaker 1: is unhappy, They're unhappy with its going around them, and
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  Speaker 1: so they share that hoping that others will jump on
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  Speaker 1: that misery or feel that same way. So my challenge
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  Speaker 1: for you is, don't criticizekademic complain, don't don't don't fill
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  Speaker 1: your mind with the negativity. Do something more constructive, fill
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  Speaker 1: it with positivity, pull it with attacking issues, not people,
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  Speaker 1: because when you attack issues, you're focused on solving things
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  Speaker 1: in the world. And won't that be a better place
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  Speaker 1: when we can help each other make it a better world?
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  Speaker 1: And it begins with us, So go ahead, weed your guard,
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  Speaker 1: pull those weeds and have a happier life that Goll
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  Speaker 1: make it happy.