Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 4 - Episode 122 - Transforming Mistakes

Transcript

Season 4 - Episode 122 - Transforming Mistakes · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:01
  Hey everybody, welcome to the good morning from the chicken
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  Coop podcast. My name is Kim Johnson and I am
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  a mastermind, set coach, creative strategist and also
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  happen to be a farmer. This is my chicken coop and I
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  come out here every day to record a podcast to teach
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  distinctions, possibilities, new ways of.
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  Thinking. And just bring some joy into the
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  world. So welcome to the coop and let's
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  start your day off in a fantastic way.
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  Hey everybody, good morning. So there's a quote from John
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  Powell that says the only real mistake is the one from which we
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  learn nothing. And I, I really believe that
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  quote is very, very strong and present.
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  I like, I love that version of it because I don't like to think
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  about things as mistakes. I like to think about them as
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  well. That taught me something and I
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  can move on. So it had to happen.
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  So therefore really was it a mistake?
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  I don't, I don't feel like it was a mistake.
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  I feel more like it had to happen so that I could grow from
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  it. But when we focus our attention
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  on mistakes and the mistakes we've made, they have a
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  significant holdover us often because the the reality is
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  people get very tied into making mistakes.
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  They don't want to make mistakes, they're afraid to make
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  mistakes. They don't stretch.
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  Whatever it might be in your head that is circulating around
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  this, it is from that functional piece of not wanting to feel the
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  pain of the mistake and it's it's impossible to avoid it.
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  It's impossible to avoid it and no one teaches us early on.
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  Let's look through our days, our weeks, and see what we could
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  have done better or what we learned.
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  Now. I have always been taught about
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  what we could have done better. Like the framework is OK, here's
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  what we did well, here's what we could have done better.
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  How do we close the gap? That's a pretty standard
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  framework that I have operated in for many, many years.
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  However, because we're humans and we're wired like literally
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  wired for safety and wired for our brains to be constantly
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  connected to that little tiny factor of safety because safety
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  is a very big piece of our entire world.
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  Got to know you're safe, you're not safe, then there's a
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  problem. So if you stop and pause for a
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  minute and you think about this from a very straightforward
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  perspective of I, I want my mistakes to matter.
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  I and I'm you air quoting when I say mistakes, the things that I
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  still perceive as a mistake. Because quite honestly, like I
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  said, I don't have that framework.
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  But if you do, and if I go back and I say, let me look through
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  these things and see what, what is it that I still could
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  perceive of a mistake? Like I push myself to look for
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  that. I sat down and I did this little
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  exercise and said, what can I learn from all of these?
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  What are the things that I could take away from all of this?
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  And I I have to say, it's really an outstanding exercise to put
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  yourself in it and say, OK, here's where if I am feeling it,
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  if I feel like about something, that's probably the best word I
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  could use. It's just a sound, just yucky
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  about it. Was it a mistake?
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  Was it a choice? Doesn't really matter.
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  But if you have that an an emotion around it on the that
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  side of not feeling great about it, then look at it and say, OK,
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  I know I can learn something from this.
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  Let me go back and dig through it and say, what could I learn
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  from this? So many people will say, you
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  know, it was a mistake to marry that person.
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  It's a very big thing that I hear throughout my coaching
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  world. It was a mistake to marry that
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  person. Oh, it was a mistake to go on
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  that trip. It was a mistake to take that
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  job. We look at these big, giant
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  things in our lives and we say it was a mistake.
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  And I go, no, no, no. You were supposed to be there
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  because if you weren't, you wouldn't have been.
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  So you've got to figure out what you are, you know, taking away
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  from it. And you say what good, good
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  things came from it? What, what went well while you
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  were there? Because not everything, and I
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  truly mean this, it is extraordinarily rare to have a
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  situation be completely from the darker side and not find
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  anything good from it. I mean, as we know through
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  writings of people who have been imprisoned and, you know,
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  tortured and all of this, they will come out and they will have
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  survived by finding those threads of good things in it,
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  what they learned from it. They got closer to God.
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  They found peace in their hearts.
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  They forgave their parents, whatever it might be they go
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  through and they have these spiritual and just moving
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  experiences that shift them. So we could say, well, that's
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  worth it, right? Because they, they've
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  transformed themselves in the process.
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  So this exercise is very akin to that where you're pulling out
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  stuff and you say, what are the good things of it?
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  And especially if you use the example of like a marriage,
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  there were maybe there were children that came from it.
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  They're not mistakes. Maybe there were moments that
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  you have to go back and maybe there aren't a lot of them, but
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  you go back and you say, yeah, that was a great moment.
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  Or that was a great trip, or this was a great time and you
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  can put some happiness back into situations, happiness into your
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  heart about all these things that we potentially are beating
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  ourselves up for because that doesn't help us.
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  So let's use the power of that, of that transformational mindset
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  and say, I don't have to view it this way.
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  I have a choice and switch it up because I promise you it'll be
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  so much better when you don't look at them as just blatant
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  things you can't change. Of course, we can't go back and
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  change things, but we can change our perspective of what it meant
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  to us. All right, my friends, I hope
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  you have a blessed day and I will see you tomorrow.
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  Bye.