Latest / Only Bombs! Comedy Podcast / ONLY BOMBS! 34: Yoel Rodriguez | Born in Cuba, Raised in Miami, Chasing Comedy in Austin

Transcript

ONLY BOMBS! 34: Yoel Rodriguez | Born in Cuba, Raised in Miami, Chasing Comedy in Austin · Only Bombs! Comedy Podcast

0:00
Only bombs Like if you want some water got you
0:54
some water there. Thank you, sir Yeah, no drinks
0:57
on this side though. Um, well just not on this
0:59
side. Oh over here on this I see yeah, maybe
1:02
I need to wear that better because I always because
1:05
that does happen like, you know question like
1:08
people see it and they're like, oh, okay, I can't
1:09
put Drinks on like I think it's good side. It
1:12
gives people a little like that gives them something
1:16
to like look at and Ponder on for a second when
1:20
you sit down here. You're like, oh damn like
1:21
I got us I got a entertain now. Yeah, maybe I
1:24
can make it like a haiku. That's a good idea.
1:27
Yeah, make it kind of like poetic. No drinks
1:30
this side table. Oh, fuck. This side table drinks
1:37
forbidden. Yep, there you go. Forever. I think
1:41
was it five, seven, five, I guess is a haiku.
1:43
Five, seven, five. Yeah, I wasn't trying. Do
1:47
you have any like kind of talents or like any
1:49
kind of any kind of hobbies or anything that
1:51
you like to do? I don't know, build Legos, I
1:55
guess. You like to build Legos? Yeah, I'm big
1:57
into Legos. Dude, I'm just getting into that.
2:00
Yeah, yeah. So much fun. Did you have like a,
2:03
what's like your most challenging set of Legos?
2:06
Probably from when I was younger. Cause when
2:08
I was younger, like I would, you know, as a kid,
2:10
I would like ask my mom to like get me like expensive
2:13
sets as like, you know, like I don't want, I
2:15
don't want nice clothes. I don't want like a
2:17
new phone. I want Legos. Now as an adult, like
2:20
I can't justify spending that kind of money.
2:22
So I don't, I don't like build cool stuff anymore,
2:25
but it's like, I also don't want to spend an
2:28
entire day building Legos as an adult. I just
2:30
want to like do it for like a couple of hours
2:32
in an afternoon. You got like little, like a
2:35
flower pot set or like a picture frame set, you
2:38
know, just something a little more mature. Yeah.
2:41
I didn't realize the, I guess like how intricate
2:45
they've gotten. Nowadays with Legos, until my
2:50
son, he wanted like the Bronco, the Lego Bronco.
2:54
That's an adult Lego set. Yeah, I didn't know
2:56
that. So he's seven. So I get this Lego set for
3:00
him and I'm thinking that, you know, okay, we'll
3:04
have it done, you know, and quickly like in a
3:06
few hours, that kind of thing. No, dude, like
3:09
it would take four hours and I think all we got
3:11
was like a little part of like the engine Yeah,
3:14
I did I had no freaking clue and then I told
3:16
Paul Paul's a dude we work with They don't pull
3:20
shout out Paul. Hell. Yeah, and I told Paul I
3:22
was like, dude, uh, I You know, I told him kind
3:25
of the same thing and he goes he's like, well
3:27
how many pieces are in it? And I was like, oh,
3:29
I didn't even look The box is pretty big Yeah,
3:34
the box is pretty big and stuff. There you go.
3:36
That tells you everything. You got a big Lego
3:38
box. That's an entire day's worth. I'm sure that
3:40
was like $100. They're pretty expensive. Yeah,
3:44
it was on sale, I think. But it was very expensive,
3:46
though. I think it was like $70 or $80, you know?
3:50
I like the Shoplift Lego minifigures. You ever,
3:53
you know about those? No, what's that? So Lego,
3:57
they make these like collectibles where it's
3:58
like there's like different lines of them. They're
4:00
like themed. And then it's just like, you know,
4:02
the little guys that come with the sets. Yeah.
4:04
So you could like for like three or four bucks,
4:07
buy like a little one. And it's like a mystery.
4:08
You don't know which one it's going to be. And,
4:11
you know, like every time you see when you buy
4:12
one, you're like, oh, damn, I got the dinosaur
4:14
again. I already have two of them. It's like
4:16
a happy meal. Yeah. It's like a little toy you
4:18
get yourself. And that's exactly it. You know,
4:20
go to Wal -Mart, get myself a little happy meal
4:22
toy. Yeah. Lego can afford it. They can survive
4:28
a couple of missing minifigures. Yeah. Especially
4:32
if it's from Walmart or something. They don't
4:36
need money. I would never steal it from a B &O.
4:44
Superman comics. Like a comic book store that
4:50
sells Lego. I wouldn't do it from there. Sure,
4:52
yeah. But like, but yeah, we got to heist Wal
4:55
-Mart, you know? Yeah, there was actually the
4:57
last time that I did it, I was on Wal -Mart and
4:59
there was like a there was like a new guy that
5:01
you could tell it was like clearly like he just
5:03
started working there. And he like he like ran
5:08
into me like when I was like looking for something,
5:10
he's like, oh, I'm so sorry, sir. And I like
5:11
for a second, I was like, what the hell's wrong
5:13
with that guy? And then I'm like, whatever, he's
5:15
probably he's probably got something going on,
5:17
you know. Right. And then I like, I just overhear
5:21
like what it seems like one of the Walmart managers
5:23
just like talking to the walkie talkie, just
5:24
like, yeah, he's just walking around. We need
5:28
to make him do something. He's literally just
5:30
walking around. Hey, Bill's not, he's starting
5:36
to color again. He's like, he's in the sketch
5:39
aisle just sketching again. Well, Walmart's very
5:42
inclusive. They'll hire anyone. They really,
5:46
really will, dude. And it's like, I wonder what
5:48
the stalkers are like. I wonder if the stalkers
5:50
are like the people who are just completely not
5:52
social at all. Do you ever find that? You would
5:55
think, but I feel like usually when you see a
5:57
stalker, they look like the most... They look
6:00
pretty competent, right? Because you see them
6:02
moving fast, they know where everything's going.
6:04
Yeah, they're the big dogs. Like, they... Every
6:07
time I need something, I'll go to those guys
6:09
and they'll be like... Yeah, it's on aisle three.
6:11
Yeah, because they put everything down and then
6:13
you go to like the lady in the bakery and she's
6:16
gonna be like, I'm a bakery girl. I don't know.
6:19
I'm a bakery girl. I never go to the TVs. How
6:24
big is 50 inches? 50, right? Yeah, just say when.
6:29
50 slides. Yeah, exactly. Dude, when when I was
6:33
in France, me and my girlfriend went into this
6:36
Lego. It was a grand opening of this, like, French
6:39
Lego store. And she wanted to get some, like,
6:42
souvenirs for her family. And it was literally,
6:44
like, this guy, it was his first day setting
6:47
it up, dude. And I went in there, and I guess
6:49
we'd just eaten. And, like, you know how you
6:53
think you're gonna have, like, a silent fart?
6:56
Dude, I fucking farted. The grand opening? The
6:59
grand opening, dude. Of a French Lego store.
7:01
Of a French Lego store. And I farted fucking
7:03
loud. And my girlfriend, like, shot those eyes
7:06
at me. She was like, are you fucking kidding
7:09
me? There was like, so. Right, because you're,
7:12
oh no, you're the one that likes Legos. Does
7:14
your girlfriend like Legos? No. Okay, okay. No.
7:17
I was like, oh, you ruined it for her. She was
7:19
probably looking forward to that. No, she was
7:21
trying to get her dad, her dad, you know, like
7:24
a Lego set kind of thing. Like just a little
7:26
something from, you know, from France, because
7:28
it's cool. And the owner was actually helping
7:30
out somebody. And, uh, and they were speaking
7:33
in French. I don't know what they were saying,
7:34
but he was, I guess, explaining, you know, what
7:36
the Legos were. And then all of a sudden. And
7:41
dude, it was bad. That's crazy. You could probably
7:43
smell it through the cigarette smoke inside of
7:45
the Lego store. They're smoking inside of the
7:48
Lego store in France, right? I mean, they weren't
7:50
there, but, you know, that's what I imagine.
7:53
There's like a little smoker section that's like
7:55
it's like made out of Legos inside the Lego store.
7:58
Lego ashtray, like a French Lego ashtray. Little
8:02
Lego art of like a cigarette on the wall. Right.
8:04
Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah, that's it. I love like
8:08
I love how we just piece that all together and
8:10
everything But so dude just to get everybody
8:14
familiar with who you are like what uh, so where
8:17
you from man? I'm from Miami. I was born in Cuba,
8:20
but uh, whoa, no shit. Yeah, so I'm like zero
8:24
I'm not even first generation. I'm like generation
8:26
zero Really? Right cuz first generation is like
8:29
your parents were born in that country, right?
8:31
Mm -hmm. So that's me. So my kids are gonna be
8:33
first generation. Oh I my family moved to Miami
8:38
when I was really, really young, like before
8:40
I even started school. So, you know, I was raised
8:43
pretty much American. But yeah, I I've always
8:49
been into entertainment. You know, when I was
8:52
like in high school, I got into acting. I thought
8:54
that's what I was going to do. You know, I like
8:56
I used to do extra work. I've like, you know,
8:59
just been like on the background, like TV shows
9:01
and movies and stuff like that. Oh, nice. I thought
9:03
that's what I was going to pursue. Then I just
9:05
kind of like, you know, fell to the wayside with
9:07
that, completely like lost the love for that.
9:11
And I just got sick of like working like, you
9:15
know, just shitty jobs. I worked in hotels for
9:17
a few years in Miami. So it's just like, you
9:19
know, kissing ass customer service, like the
9:22
the most like disingenuous, like, yes, sir, step
9:26
all over me type of customer service that you
9:28
can do for like three years straight. Yeah. And
9:31
one day I finally got frustrated and my mom would
9:33
always tell me, like to inspire me, she would
9:35
always tell me, like, you got to knock on doors.
9:37
That's like what this person did, what that person
9:39
did that's famous. You got to knock on doors.
9:41
That's the only way you're going to make it.
9:42
And I would always be like, as I work, I can't
9:45
knock on someone's door and be like, hey, hire
9:47
me for something. Right. But then I actually
9:49
thought about it and I was like, you know what,
9:51
there's a comedy club in Miami. That'd be pretty
9:54
fun. You know, I've always thought about doing
9:57
comedy, but you know, maybe that's an easier
9:59
entry than like something like acting. And I
10:02
got a job there, became friends with like the
10:05
comics there. They took me out to the open mics
10:07
and, you know, it was obvious like comedy is
10:10
a way more appealing thing to pursue than something
10:13
like acting. Wow, there's more art behind it
10:16
and it feels like you know, it's a solo sport
10:18
so it's like you can kind of be responsible for
10:20
your success somehow instead of like Waiting
10:23
to be picked by someone, you know, right, right.
10:26
So when you when you did comedy in Miami Like
10:31
when you first got up there, what was kind of
10:33
something that you noticed? Was there something
10:36
different, obviously, from being an extra in
10:38
movies and stuff? Definitely, more camaraderie
10:43
for sure. When you go to any production, you
10:47
might become friends with the other extras and
10:49
stuff like that, but you're not going to become
10:51
friends with the actors that are casted on the
10:53
show. There isn't an energy that's being shared
10:59
by the people working there. We're like, hey,
11:01
we're all doing this together and we're having
11:02
fun. Acting is kind of, um, I don't know. You
11:07
just, you don't really make friends. You make
11:09
associates and then like, you kind of benefit
11:11
from being associates with each other. You might
11:14
be friends, but you're, you don't, you don't
11:15
really hang out or anything. You know what I
11:17
mean? Right. And then I got into comedy and it
11:20
was like, you know, I went out there because
11:21
some friends took me out there. But then like
11:23
from my first night going to an open mic, it's
11:25
like, oh, there's all these people that I'm meeting
11:27
and I'm going to become friends with. And I did
11:30
become friends with, and it's like. There's just,
11:32
you know, there's community in comedy. That's
11:34
something that doesn't exist in acting. Acting
11:36
is like, even though comedy is more of a solo
11:39
sport, like boxing, I think acting feels like
11:42
you have a solo career, where like, with comedy,
11:45
you can almost feel like there's a team that
11:47
you came up with, which is like the guys that
11:48
you started with, you know what I mean? Yeah,
11:50
yeah. Did you have any movies that were like
11:54
notable that you were in, or was it like kind
11:56
of smaller productions? For like a split second,
11:59
I'm in this movie called... Critical Thinking,
12:02
it's a John Leguizamo movie. Oh, no shit. He's
12:06
he's just like I think it's a remake from like
12:08
the 80s or 70s, but it's a it's about just like
12:11
a troubled group of teens and like a like a school
12:14
that's like, you know, less privileged and he
12:17
just like takes them and like tries to inspire
12:19
them to like be better and shit. Oh, cool. That's
12:22
like the whole general plot. I was in there for
12:23
like a split second. I actually. accidentally
12:26
got booked on that because they were only supposed
12:28
to book people who are over 18 and I was still
12:30
a minor. And there was only me and one other
12:33
girl that were minors that were booked for that.
12:36
And we were supposed to get paid like, I think
12:39
it was like 400 bucks a day and it was going
12:42
to be like 15 days of filming. So that was going
12:44
to be like the best money I had made for acting.
12:48
And I only got to do one shoot one day because
12:50
they were like, oh, yeah, like, like we can't
12:52
have minors. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that sucks.
12:55
So I'm only here for like a split second. I know
12:57
what that's like. I was in Final Destination
12:59
4. Oh, that's so cool. Hell yeah. Yeah. I mean,
13:05
I haven't seen it, but what part of the movie,
13:08
because, you know, Final Destination, everyone
13:09
kind of knows what that's like. Yeah. Yeah. I
13:11
was in two different scenes. I was in one scene
13:14
that I was in was the, I guess, like the scene
13:17
where the racetrack, where, you know, the tires,
13:21
I guess, fly into the... the thing I was like
13:24
one of the extras in on the racetrack. And then,
13:27
um, ironically, I was also in the scene, the
13:30
funeral scene for the people who died at the
13:33
racetrack. Yeah. At the racetrack. So it was
13:36
a, it was kind of funny. That's funny. So like,
13:38
canonically, your character is probably related
13:39
to someone that passed away. Probably. Like you're
13:41
some way involved. You're in an in -law or something.
13:44
Yeah. You did, you can't even see me. And I actually
13:46
went to makeup and everything and you can't even
13:48
see me. Isn't it crazy how, yeah, because like
13:50
when I did extra work too, like, dude, it's they'll
13:54
pay you like a hundred dollars. So it's like,
13:56
you know, it's not like a lot of money either,
13:58
but like, you'll be getting paid only a hundred
14:01
bucks and they'll still like fucking dedicate
14:03
like an entire half an hour to making you look
14:05
good in a little trailer. Isn't that nuts? Yeah.
14:09
They put like, they put all this like makeup
14:10
on me and everything. And I didn't know like
14:12
what the hell they were doing. And I was like,
14:14
you know, and dude, you don't even see me. Like
14:15
you see the back of my head. Yeah. Did anyone
14:19
recognize the back of your head? Did you get
14:21
anyone being like, Hey, I think that if you saw
14:24
me, you'd be like, okay, I can believe that it's
14:28
you. You can kind of see, I believe that it's
14:30
you. Have you gotten to do anything where someone's
14:33
been like, yo, I saw you on this? So this show
14:37
called K -Ville. K -Ville? Yeah. And K -Ville,
14:42
so very short -lived show, but the premise of
14:44
that show was it was after Katrina. Right. And
14:48
it was these cops that it was like a cop, like
14:51
a buddy cop kind of drama kind of thing. Like
14:52
a sitcom or like a drama comedy? No, not even
14:56
a comedy, which is funny because it had Anthony
14:58
Anderson in it. It had no funny? Yeah, and it
15:01
wasn't really funny. It was more like Bad Boys,
15:04
right? And it had Anthony Anderson and Cole Hauser
15:08
in it, the guy who plays as Rip from Yellowstone.
15:11
Okay. Yeah, so he was he was in it and so I did
15:15
I did a lot I did like that is an interesting
15:17
pairing them too. Yeah, it really is, you know
15:21
Cuz cuz Cole Hauser is Cole Hauser, you know,
15:25
and then Anthony Anderson is Anthony Anderson.
15:28
It's kangaroo Jack. It's kangaroo Jack And I
15:31
love this dude, but there's a scene like where
15:34
you ever seen like a hospital scene where like
15:37
like the EMTs Oh, look, and I'm an EMT now. But
15:41
yeah, the EMTs like bust through the doors and
15:43
the doors like fly open and stuff. I did one
15:45
of those scenes. Oh, cool. And so you see me
15:48
very well. As an EMT? Well, EMT on the show.
15:52
Right, you weren't an EMT. No, I wasn't an EMT
15:55
then. But that's what you were like when you
15:56
busted through the door. Yeah, yeah. But we had
15:59
to do that scene and I had to push the gurney.
16:02
through with one of the other actors from the
16:05
show he was on it and I had to push the gurney
16:07
through with another guy and so we go to push
16:10
the gurney and the gurney doesn't move and At
16:13
the time I was like, I don't know anything about
16:15
stretchers. I don't know anything about that
16:16
shit, right? And so I try to push it it wasn't
16:18
moving and so the director yelled cut and they
16:20
opened up the doors all the cameras and everything
16:22
and then and the director was like what the hell
16:25
is going on and Anthony Anderson starts laughing
16:28
and I look and his hand is like this He was holding
16:30
the fucking gurney. I didn't catch it. And I
16:33
was like, bro, they're going to fire one of us,
16:36
and it's not you. But that was cool. And so we
16:42
did that a few times and stuff. But oddly enough,
16:46
I don't think it ever made the episode, but it
16:48
made the intro. Oh, of the show? Of the show.
16:52
That's cool. Yeah. Like the theme song of the
16:55
show? Oh, I see. I see how that is confusing.
16:58
Or you mean the intro of that episode, like the
16:59
cold opening? Like, when they went, like, previously
17:02
on K -Ville. Oh, okay. Dude, I've watched the
17:06
episode, and it was never on there, but it was
17:08
on the previously on K -Ville. That's not that
17:11
crazy. You see that all the time. Yeah. When
17:13
they recap it, they'll use, like, a different
17:16
shot that's more concise or something like that.
17:18
Or, you know, when they'll, like, they'll play,
17:21
like, a clip for the next episode, you'll see
17:23
the clip on the episode, and it's like... The
17:25
one from the episode is way different because
17:26
they didn't want to spoil it. So they played
17:28
like a different cut. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it was
17:32
kind of strange, but that was like, that was
17:33
my thing. And then after that, you know, I went
17:35
to radio really, and then just did radio for
17:39
a while. Classic face for radio. Sorry. Oh yeah.
17:43
I thought about getting into radio for a while.
17:46
Uh, but the, the bet, the bet, the biggest thing
17:48
that I've been able to do where like people recognize
17:50
me was a Sunny D commercial. A Sunny D commercial?
17:53
Yeah. No way. In high school I did like the Sunny
17:55
D commercial. I think they were trying to do
17:57
like a big like a ad campaign that's like, hey
18:00
kids don't really drink Sunny D anymore, let's
18:02
make it popular again. And they like put it all
18:05
over Nickelodeon. They put it like all over Instagram
18:07
and shit. No way. It's like, you know, I show
18:10
up in the commercial for like a second. but it's
18:12
like I'm a bully in the commercial and it's like
18:14
I have two other bullies with me like my little
18:17
henchmen bullies and I'm like the main bully.
18:19
No way. I'm like bullying this kid but then he
18:21
like dances so cool that I'm like damn Sonny
18:24
D like makes nerds cool. That was like my role
18:29
in the commercial. That's like the only thing
18:32
I've done. We're like, you know, it was all over
18:34
history I'm so just like everyone in my school.
18:35
I was in high school Everyone in my yeah started
18:37
sending it to me. They're like what the fuck
18:39
Did you tell anybody Like, no. I mean, I never
18:45
expected it to be like a thing like that. You
18:47
know, I figured like, oh, maybe I could search
18:48
it up after it comes out. But I didn't think
18:50
it would be like out in place. You know what
18:53
I mean? And it was literally like everybody had
18:55
it on their Instagrams for like two months. Like
18:57
it was, they pushed it so hard. Really? Yeah.
19:00
That is, dude, that is so wild. I can't imagine
19:02
just like sitting there and just like flipping
19:04
through the channels and it'd be like, dude,
19:06
that's UL, bro. Like, what the fuck? He's a bully
19:09
on a fucking Sunday. I was like, dude, drink
19:14
Sunny D. Dude, he's going to kick my ass, dude.
19:17
It was funny. I also got like kind of, you know,
19:20
just because it was like the coolest thing I
19:21
had gotten to do, I was like, oh, I'm like part
19:23
of Sunny D now. I'm like a Sunny. I'm a Sunny
19:26
D guy now. As if I was a brand ambassador. I
19:29
just got into it. I started looking at old Sunny
19:32
D commercials, and there's that super popular
19:35
one where the dude just opens the fridge and
19:38
is like, we got, I see we got purple stuff. Yeah,
19:43
dude. I remember Chappelle talking about that.
19:45
He's like, oh, we got that Sunny D, yeah. I thought
19:50
that shit was, this was before I was into comedy,
19:51
but it was just like. Whenever I talked about
19:54
the commercial I found the way to like bring
19:55
that up dude. I have you ever seen the original
19:58
Yeah, I remade this commercial Dude, yeah, that
20:02
is fucking cool though, man. Like for real something
20:05
there now if I ever like when I'm in the grocery
20:07
store and I see something he did I'll grab it
20:10
just like call my government babe. Look Right?
20:13
Hey, remember this? Like, you know, what's up,
20:16
babe? Look, the Sonny D guy's holding the Sonny
20:18
D ball. Dude, that is awesome. I need to find
20:21
that commercial, dude. I need to buy some Sonny
20:23
D clothing. Yeah, right? Just start repping it.
20:27
Dude, I want to get Arizona green tea. Yeah,
20:30
yeah. Oh, dude, there was a meme or something
20:32
about an old dude wearing an Arizona green tea
20:36
track suit. Dude! No, I don't, but I want to
20:40
get one. I'm like so mad. I've been trying to
20:43
find one, but they never have it in my size.
20:46
You want that because it attracts it? That is
20:48
cool. I look like an Arizona can? I don't know
20:51
what the fuck it is, dude, but I love Arizona
20:53
green tea. Like, bad. I've literally thrown it
20:55
into some of my intros, and I know people are
20:58
like, what the fuck is that about? What, you
21:01
just throw that you love it into the intro? Dude,
21:04
I'll just throw a random can. Oh, your can's
21:06
just there? Kansas there. You're right, setting
21:09
the vibe like, welcome to the podcast. We drink
21:11
Arizona. Yeah, right? Dude, yeah. There's been
21:15
a lot of Arizona green tea product placement
21:17
in my episodes. That's good, dude. They deserve
21:20
product placement. The CEO for Arizona is one
21:23
of those cool CEOs that's like, no, I'm not changing
21:25
the price. I'm keeping it at 99 cents. Right,
21:27
and then they upcharge it all the time. Right,
21:30
that's not fair. The sons of bitches. But it's
21:32
not, yeah, you're right. I don't know. Corporations.
21:38
No, I was trying to remember that fucking country
21:41
in Asia that's having a civil war right now.
21:44
There's a, is it Nepal? Is Nepal having a civil
21:47
war right now? I have no idea. There's a, there's
21:50
this country in Asia that's like, they're going
21:51
through a civil war right now. And like every
21:54
single gas station here in Austin has one of
21:56
them working on it in the gas station. Wait,
22:00
wait, wait. They have everybody, somebody working
22:02
in the gas station from the Civil War? From this
22:04
country that's having the Civil War. Really?
22:07
I think it's Nepal. Nepal? Nepalese? The Nepalese
22:11
people? Dang. They're kind of like darker looking
22:14
Asians and every time I see them, when I first
22:16
got here, I would think they're Hispanic. So
22:18
I would talk to them in Spanish and be like,
22:19
hey, where are you from? And they would just
22:20
be like, oh, okay. Dude. Oh my God. That's also
22:24
freaking hilarious, man. I saw the, so. my girlfriend
22:28
and I, we had like an 11 mile hike, right? And
22:31
we finished the 11 mile hike. And this is in
22:34
Europe. Yeah. And then they had, I guess, like
22:38
some Nepalese guys who were working at this refuge
22:41
that we were going to be stopping at and everything.
22:45
And, you know, I just started talking to them,
22:47
asking them about, you know, like, you know,
22:49
hiking and, I told one of the dudes, basically,
22:52
I was like, oh yeah, man, I really want to coke.
22:54
And he's like, oh, you want to coke? It's probably
22:56
because you're fat, huh? And then he walked off.
23:00
And then I was just like, I just walked 11 fucking
23:03
miles, dude. Like, fuck you if I want to coke.
23:07
Was that, that was definitely like the, the type
23:10
of Finnish thing where people from Finland don't
23:12
know how to make jokes or like they don't know
23:13
that they sound rude type of thing, right? Dude,
23:16
I think so. I think, I don't think he, what I
23:19
think it was is I don't think he realized What
23:21
fat man is like, that's the way that I've decided
23:24
to cope with it. Yeah. I thought that maybe he,
23:29
he like. Maybe thought like, you know big and
23:31
he was trying to say big is what I'm trying to
23:33
maybe maybe cuz cuz look Hispanic women and older
23:37
Hispanic ladies like aunties don't like oh gained
23:40
weight fat fuck Now but they mean it like from
23:44
a place of like you look like you're healthy
23:46
like you're eating Well, this makes me happy
23:49
as your relative that you're not skinny, you
23:51
know what I mean? Okay, they do mean it as like
23:53
it's it's nice. I'm happy that you're getting
23:55
fat No, he meant fat. He meant fat as fuck. What
24:03
country was it? I think it was Italy. Yeah, Italy
24:08
has Coke, right? Coca -Cola. Yeah. And that's
24:11
exactly... Because there's countries that don't
24:13
sell Coke, like Cuba, where it's like if you
24:15
ask for a Coke, they're going to be like, yeah,
24:16
where the hell do you want me to get that from?
24:18
Oh, really? When was the last time you've been
24:20
back to Cuba? I was like 13. 13? Yeah. It's been
24:24
like 14 years. 14, 15, yeah. How would you describe
24:30
Cuba to somebody who doesn't really know anything
24:32
about it? Just a third world. I think most people
24:35
think Cuba is like, you know, just like a country
24:39
somewhat similar to America, but they speak Spanish.
24:42
Or maybe even if they don't think it's similar,
24:44
they don't think it's like that far off. If you
24:47
think there's AC in Cuba or medicine or like
24:52
enough food for people to eat or toilet seats.
24:55
Wow. Like in Cuba, there is no beef. There's
25:02
no food in general. There's no medicine. And
25:05
just like, you know, nobody has AC. Most houses
25:08
are like huts, like not like made out of straw,
25:11
but they're made out of like cement. And then
25:12
the roofs are made out of like what we use to
25:14
put over windows when we get a hurricane, like
25:16
hurricane shutters. Yeah, that's what the roofs
25:19
are made out of. You know what I mean? Oh, wow.
25:21
And it's it's communism. So it's like apart from
25:23
it just being not to make this super serious
25:26
or anything or political, but. I'm very, very
25:29
against communism. It's not a crazy thing for
25:32
me to say. I'm not taking a political stance.
25:33
I'm from Cuba. Sure. You're from a communist
25:36
country. You're against communism. There seems
25:38
to be a misconception for people that don't know
25:40
what it is on the Internet. And it's insane.
25:42
Well, what is a common misconception with? So
25:44
I think people think that communism can be good
25:47
and that people can live such simple lives where
25:50
like your life is easy and enjoyable because
25:52
you don't have to worry about things that in
25:55
a more advanced country you have to worry about.
25:57
And I'll say this, a simple life can be nice
26:00
and it can be beautiful and it can be nicer than
26:02
like, you know, a complicated life here in America,
26:04
but it doesn't mean that it's good. Like I really
26:07
shouldn't be arguing with people online, but
26:08
I just went back and forth with some guy on a
26:10
comment section the other day and he said that
26:12
his mom would tell him stories about living in
26:14
a communist country and how they would just eat
26:17
fish and hang out and laugh. And it's like, yeah.
26:20
In communist countries, you can't do anything.
26:22
Like you can't just decide, hey, I have this
26:24
goal for my life. I want to pursue that. Nobody
26:26
has that freedom in a communist country. You
26:29
get assigned roles. Like you can't just decide
26:32
to pursue whatever career you want. They will
26:34
tell you this is what your career will be. You
26:36
can want to be a doctor and they'll make you
26:38
be an engineer. You know what I mean? Oh, I mean,
26:42
I don't have any kind of experience with that.
26:44
So this is kind of interesting to hear. Right.
26:47
So just like. Cause you have an idea of what
26:50
communism is, but just so you can have an understanding
26:52
of like how it actually is to live in communism
26:54
is just simply lack of freedom. That's all it
26:57
is. And I'm not saying that from a perspective
26:58
is like America is great because capitalism is
27:01
just simply communism means that. We don't all
27:05
get to decide what we want to do individually.
27:07
Somebody decides that for us because it's for
27:09
the greater good. Sorry about that. Oh no, you're
27:12
good. But. Usually, those decisions that get
27:16
made for the greater good aren't actually for
27:18
the greater good. They're for the greater good
27:19
of the group that's in control. Right. The elite
27:22
of the country. Because everything is supposed
27:24
to be like the same, right? Like everybody's...
27:26
That's the idea, right? Yeah. So, if you want
27:29
to buy groceries in Cuba, you have a ration card.
27:32
Like the same way that we had it in World War
27:34
II, you know, when we didn't have enough food.
27:36
Right. So that's just how you live in Cuba. You
27:38
have a ration card when you want to go to the
27:40
grocery store and it's like, you're allowed to
27:42
have this much of everything that you need to
27:45
have in the house. Wow. The thing is you go to
27:47
the grocery store and grocery stores in Cuba
27:48
aren't like, they're not like, you know, you
27:51
have like a selection of things to choose from.
27:53
Like literally you'll go to the can section.
27:55
It's like, there might be a couple cans of corn.
27:57
There might be one can of like some chef bought
28:00
these shit and there might be a pack of hot dogs
28:02
or something. And that's about it. You know what
28:04
I mean? Really? Like it's just whatever's available.
28:07
It's just whatever's available. Whatever Russia
28:08
sent us like this last period or whatever. No
28:13
shit. So when you like when you came back or
28:15
when you came to America, it must have been like
28:18
a massive culture shock for you, huh? Well, I
28:20
was I was like a baby, basically. Oh, OK. Super,
28:23
super young. So I grew up as American. I grew
28:25
up as like a Latino American. You know what I
28:28
mean? Sure. Just like I'm from another country
28:30
and I speak Spanish, but I grew up here. Wow.
28:32
You know, like Like people from New York and
28:34
shit like that. That's how most people in Miami
28:36
grow up. But for my family, most definitely,
28:40
like if you ever go to Miami, Miami is almost
28:42
like going to a different country. Like in most
28:44
places they won't speak English. You know what
28:46
I mean? You'll have to like, it'll have to be
28:48
like a younger person that's like probably in
28:50
high school, they'll speak English. But if it's
28:51
like an older, if it's like a 40 something year
28:53
old lady, like she's probably only going to speak
28:55
Spanish. You know what I mean? So it's like,
28:59
It's a culture shock, of course, because it's
29:02
a whole different country, but it's like, you
29:05
grow up in Cuba from the time that you're born
29:07
with the goal. Every single person in Cuba has
29:10
the shared goal of leaving Cuba. Oh, gotcha.
29:12
That's like every single person in Cuba, that's
29:14
their dream, getting out of Cuba. Same way like
29:17
everyone in the hood wants to get out of the
29:18
hood, like it's the same thing. You know what
29:20
I mean? Yeah. So it's like, it's a culture shock,
29:22
but it's like, I'm finally getting to experience
29:25
that thing that I've always wanted, you know?
29:26
Yeah. Yeah, man, that kind of like, I think that
29:31
Americans have a tendency to think the grass
29:34
is always greener, you know? And they romanticize
29:37
other places without realizing that. It's not
29:39
just Americans, it's a human being. Yeah, yeah,
29:42
yeah, I think you're right. And, you know, by
29:45
just like looking at something and just like
29:47
looking at a culture and, you know, just being
29:49
like, oh, okay, maybe that, I think that might
29:52
be like a lot better and everything. But to hear
29:55
about, you know, the realities of it, it kind
29:58
of puts things into a good perspective, you know.
30:01
Yeah, it's like when I think about Australia,
30:03
like you hear about Australia and it's like,
30:04
it sounds like America and like things are cheap.
30:06
It sounds like a really dope place and Australians
30:08
have like cool culture. It's like fucking animals,
30:12
you know. Crazy. I'll never get used to like
30:16
having to check a toilet, you know what I mean?
30:18
Oh, for like snakes and shit? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
30:21
I had a big ass moth outside my window. I mean,
30:24
I was at my door today. Me too. Like not outside
30:26
my door, but like it was like in the hallway
30:29
when I left. Was it like fucking this big? No,
30:31
no, it was pretty big, though. It was a I'll
30:33
show you a picture. I took it. But you saw a
30:35
moth that big. It was huge. It was a I think
30:38
it's called the Luna Moth. Really? Yeah. Whoa,
30:41
holy shit. I saw one like this one is almost
30:44
actual size. Like, yeah. Yeah, it was bigger
30:47
than that for sure. Like the wings were. Much
30:50
much bigger than the body like you can barely
30:52
see the thorax damn son vocabulary boy. Man,
31:02
so you coming from Miami and like all, you know,
31:05
this performance kind of art and stuff like that,
31:07
it was natural for you to hop up on stage and
31:09
do like comedy and stuff. For sure. Yeah. I was
31:12
nervous as fuck about it. Like everyone, when
31:13
they started doing standup, but like being on
31:15
stage, didn't feel crazy. It was like the idea
31:17
of like, I'm going to, I'm going to like be able
31:20
to say something to make them laugh, you know,
31:22
like that way. Yeah. Do you, uh, do you ever
31:25
feel like, uh, like you, you do get nervous before
31:28
you get on stage? Yeah, definitely not as much
31:32
as I used to yeah sure I think when I first got
31:35
to Austin was probably the most nervous I've
31:37
ever been because this is being a new place.
31:39
Yeah, but um now I'd say like You know if I if
31:44
for some reason like the spot has like weight
31:47
behind it then yeah I'm gonna be nervous for
31:49
sure like roast battle and stuff like that. Oh,
31:51
yeah. Yeah, but um, you know just for going up
31:54
at the creek Thank God that that's that is like
31:56
a that few that feels that feels normal now That
32:00
is something that just feels good. It's like
32:02
your home stage. It is my home stage, yeah. And
32:04
if I spend like two weeks without going up, it
32:07
like eats at me. Right, yeah. Yeah, I know how
32:10
you feel with that one, man. How do you prepare
32:14
differently for like roast battles versus just
32:16
going up on stage? I'm, I'm really bad at writing.
32:20
I like don't write as much as I should at all.
32:22
I need to like get better at that. You know,
32:24
I slag a lot. So that's one of the reasons I
32:27
wanted to do roast battle because it's like,
32:28
there's no excuse. I can't just use old jokes
32:31
or like half big premises. I have to like write
32:34
five jokes that I'm going to do in the round.
32:37
And, um, I've, I've surprised myself by how I've
32:40
been able to do it, but also. It's not like you're
32:43
not allowed to have help when you're writing
32:45
jokes in general, but like it's encouraged with
32:47
Roast Battle. Everyone tells you like, hey, get
32:49
your comics that are good writers to help you,
32:52
your friends that have been on Roast Battle to
32:54
help you. So I've had help coming up with jokes,
32:58
and I've been able to show myself that I can
33:00
write when I decide to, so I'm just going to
33:02
start applying that a little bit more just in
33:04
general. Yeah, yeah. Have you watched anybody
33:09
do anything and kind of learned? you know, from
33:12
their kind of style or writing or anything? Yeah,
33:15
most recently, I would probably say Javi. Javi
33:17
Ramirez. Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude. I fucking love
33:21
Javi. Yeah, dude. He's amazing. I watched him
33:24
just like in the last few months, just like become
33:26
so much better. He was already good at comedy,
33:28
but he becomes so much better. He's just like
33:30
sharpened up all of his skills and he's done
33:33
roast battle and like fucking become one of the
33:36
better roasters here in Austin. Yeah. I think
33:40
from him, I'm just kind of learning to just,
33:44
like, enjoy it a little bit more. You know what
33:47
I mean? Yeah, he seems very, like, free -spirited.
33:50
Yes, dude. You just see how much he's grateful
33:54
for, like, the opportunity and, like, how happy
33:57
he is to be doing it all the time. You know what
33:59
I mean? Right, yeah. His optimism is infectious.
34:01
Like, it really is. And there was a roast battle
34:03
he had, not the last one, which was against Nick
34:05
V this last week, but before... He went against
34:08
Eli Halpert, who was a really good battle, too.
34:11
Eli gave him a good fight. But, dude, he had
34:13
such great energy for that fight. The whole time,
34:15
he was just, like, after a joke would land, he
34:18
would, like, be bouncing and, like, fucking flicking
34:19
his tongue. I was like, ah! He's just ready to
34:22
go. And that inspired me so much. Like, it's
34:25
like, yeah, just fucking, just, like, enjoy it.
34:28
Have fun. Feel, like, feel yourself if you're
34:30
feeling yourself, you know what I mean? The crowd
34:32
likes that. Hell yeah. That is a good lesson,
34:36
man. Just to make yourself looser. Just feeling
34:42
yourself, just having fun, pulling that part
34:45
of you that goes like, oh yeah, just the surreal
34:48
you and putting it out on stage. Yeah, because
34:50
we, our whole, I feel like we, as comics, almost
34:54
live in negative space. Yeah. Where we're always
34:58
thinking about being on stage, but most of the
35:00
time we're not. Right. Right. So then when we
35:03
get on stage, it's like we value that time so
35:06
much and we we like we view that time as like
35:10
such a valuable expense that we got to like we
35:13
got to like use it wisely with the jokes we want
35:15
to try out and shit. But sometimes like I really
35:18
feel like you need to be snapped into like a
35:20
hey, dude, you're a funny guy that likes to have
35:22
fun and just eat shit. Right. Do that on stage
35:25
sometimes. Sure. Like, don't just. Try to like,
35:28
uh, take the shot and hit the target every single
35:31
time. Like sometimes it's just fuck around, you
35:33
know? Right. Yeah. Yeah. I, um, that's, you know,
35:37
all of these are valuable lessons to learn with
35:39
within standup because when, um, like when I
35:42
get up there or when I did get up there a long
35:44
time ago, it would be like very, I'd be very
35:46
rigid almost or, or I'd over perform, you know?
35:49
Yeah, that happens to me. Yeah. I would bring
35:52
like this. stupid animated thing that was nonsensical.
35:56
It's better to commit than to half -ass commit.
35:59
Right. I think over -performing is better than
36:01
under -performing for sure. Sure. Do you have
36:04
a favorite, just normal professional comedian?
36:09
Do you have like... Yeah, probably Nick Mullen.
36:11
Nick Mullen? Love Nick Mullen. You know, Come
36:14
Town? Come town No, I've never heard of come
36:19
town But it's a good podcast it was like it was
36:24
really popular like before Matt and Shane's blew
36:26
up Okay Wow, like around 2016 around there. It's
36:30
a it's Nick Mullins Stavros, you know Stavros,
36:33
right? Yeah and Adam Friedland You know? Okay,
36:37
yeah. So it's them three, they're just like boys
36:39
on a podcast just eating shit. But dude, Nick
36:41
Mullin is like one of the funniest guys ever.
36:43
Oh, hell yeah. I've been dying to see him for
36:45
so long and every year Rebecca will ask us like,
36:47
hey, who do you guys want me to like try to get
36:49
booked this year so that we can see people that
36:52
we like? Every year I ask for Nick Mullin and
36:54
it's always like, oh, I can't really ask him
36:56
to come. Like he decides to do stand up whenever
36:58
he wants to. Right, wow. And he's going to be
37:01
at Cap City in October. No shit. Which I'm like,
37:04
I'm honestly kind of glad he's going there instead
37:06
of Crete because I want to watch it. I don't
37:08
want to be working. You know what I mean? Right.
37:10
I want to like really enjoy it as a fan of his,
37:12
you know? Yeah. I'm going with my girlfriend
37:14
to see him in October. Oh, that's badass, dude.
37:17
That's badass, man. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Man,
37:20
if I had to see like one comedian right now,
37:22
I think it would probably be Rory Scoville. Rory
37:25
Scoville? Yeah, I love Rory Scoville. I think
37:27
you've talked to me about him. I don't know his
37:30
face. I'll send you some clips of him, but he
37:32
has a Netflix special out right now that's really
37:35
good. So his dad passed away, and he gets up
37:41
on stage, and he starts crying about it. Legitimately
37:44
crying? Legitimately crying on his special, right?
37:47
And I remember just being like, whoa, this is
37:49
really fucking tense. Marlon Waynes did that
37:52
once. Oh, really? Yeah, he cried on a special
37:54
about his mom dying. Oh, wow. Man. Not that crazy,
37:57
I guess. Yeah, I guess it's not that crazy. Maybe
37:59
I'm just like so inexperienced with just life,
38:01
I guess. I don't know. Right. We haven't died
38:04
and we don't have specials. Right. I'm like,
38:07
I need to stay away from the coke. But yeah,
38:10
no, he gets up there and he broke it. Broke it
38:12
good, man. He broke it. He just he fucking when
38:15
he finally hit that punch, it was like, dude,
38:18
that was perfect. Hmm, that's interesting. Yeah,
38:21
so I'll send you some I'll send you some stuff
38:23
about it, man But so I hate that we got to wrap
38:26
this up already, but it's time. Yeah, it's already
38:28
time Yeah, yeah, I'm so sorry about that But
38:30
uh, but yeah Is there anything that you you want
38:32
to put out or like anything that like is going
38:35
on with you or like anything? Anybody can catch
38:36
this is your camera banana phone every fucking
38:39
Sunday banana phone 10 p .m Yeah, Michael Ridley
38:44
is Asian Michael Ridley Candice Smith, you know,
38:47
lets me watch child porn Oh my god, are you allowed
38:51
to put that in there? I might need to believe
38:54
that one, dude Just make sure she knows like
38:57
you could tell that that's what I said Like yeah,
39:00
I don't say it but you could hear like Yeah,
39:05
like they're like, all right, hold on I gotta
39:07
make a note for that Like I don't know how I
39:11
don't know how that one is received You should
39:14
try to get a down here. I think agent would be
39:15
so much for a hobby too. Yeah, dude. I would
39:18
love to do it I'm thinking about reaching out
39:20
to Javi. I haven't done it so far. You work with
39:22
him now. He's co -workers with you. That's wonderful
39:24
too, man. Yeah, I think I'm going to shoot him
39:26
a text. Oh, we're all going to be together tomorrow.
39:28
Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, this is going
39:31
to be good, man. But hell yeah, dude. No, I appreciate
39:35
you coming on, man. Thank you. And I'm sorry
39:36
that it was so short. It's OK. No, I'm sorry
39:38
I showed up late, dude. No, no, it's not your
39:41
fault. Yeah, I was sitting there trying to think,
39:45
I'm like, what the fuck? No, it's all good, man.
39:50
If it wasn't for me, if it wasn't for the damn
39:53
thing that I have going on, there's always something.
39:57
Hey, never complain about good prospects. Yeah,
40:00
I'm hoping it works out because I do not want
40:03
to have to work. If it does, you'll get to do
40:04
this more. Yeah, yeah. And I could work at the
40:07
creek more. Get you more guests. Yeah. That's
40:12
not why he works there. No, no. If anything,
40:16
I work there just to watch and learn, man. Yeah,
40:19
no, 100%. My mom tells people all the time when
40:22
I'm on FaceTime with her, like when she's just
40:24
talking to her friends in Miami, he's going to
40:27
a university for stand -up comedy in Texas. Yeah.
40:30
Yeah. That's what it feels like. Whenever I work,
40:33
dude, and I'm just, you know, like last night,
40:34
for example, when I was done, I was just sitting
40:35
down watching Banana Phone and just listening
40:39
to how they do the show. And, you know, Bananaphone
40:42
is really great despite some of the hate that
40:45
it gets, you know, like I think it's really awesome
40:47
and I think it's a really fun, like fun thing.
40:50
But I really just kind of just take it in and
40:52
just kind of learn and just sort of be like,
40:54
OK, this is what I need to do within my own act,
40:57
you know, to try to help me. And then. Of course,
41:00
I think to myself, I'm like, could I ever do
41:02
that? Like, you know, like... Yeah, no, I mean,
41:05
but you know, just to end it off, I know you
41:08
got to go, but a great piece of advice for any
41:10
comic that my girlfriend gave me is if you're
41:14
ever having doubts about comedy, just think to
41:17
yourself that that is a good sign because that
41:19
means you're not delusional. Because if you're
41:22
100 % confident in you making it, you're a little
41:24
delusional, which is... necessary for something
41:27
like entertainment, but you don't want to rely
41:29
on delusion, you know? Yeah. So it's a good thing
41:32
that you have doubts. That means that you're
41:33
like a normal person and you got to figure that
41:35
stuff out. Oh, cool. Well, good. That's good
41:38
to be reassured about, you know? Yeah, there
41:41
is a lot of times when I'm just like, oh, man,
41:44
I'm not good at this, you know, but I want to
41:46
be. It happens. It's a practice. It's a good
41:49
thing that comedy is the thing where it's like
41:51
they tell you like from the start, like, hey,
41:53
you're going to feel like that all the time.
41:54
Like, I'm not good at this. That's true. That
41:57
is true. They warned us a lot. Yeah, it is fucking
42:00
true, dude, for sure. But thank you so much for
42:03
coming in, man. Thank you, bro. Thank you so
42:04
much for having me. Yeah, dude. I'm so happy
42:05
to have you, man. Bye, Sonny D. Yeah, bye, Sonny
42:08
D. Buy some AGT, you know, Arizona green tea,
42:12
baby. Arizona green tea tracksuits on the next
42:14
episode. If I come back on, we got to have a
42:17
month. When you come back on, I'm definitely
42:18
going to have you back on. We're going to do
42:20
what I like to call these redemption episodes.
42:22
Because it's too short? Yeah, because it's too
42:24
short. So when people, when this happens, I'm
42:25
like, next one, we'll come on and we'll do it.
42:27
We'll do it good. This is going to be great.
42:30
So, and that's it. That's the end of the show.
42:31
That's a wrap. Thank you for tuning in. Adios.
42:33
Thank you.