Latest / Reverse Jackass / Ep30: Evelyn OFFICIALLY-officially becomes the Canadian Blade; Nick gives a masterclass in conditional generosity.

Transcript

Ep30: Evelyn OFFICIALLY-officially becomes the Canadian Blade; Nick gives a masterclass in conditional generosity. · Reverse Jackass

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's ready.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: Is this you leading us in or is this me leading us in?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I don't know.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: What do you feel like?
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_02: You want me to lead?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: What do you feel like?
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_02: I want you to I want you to lead.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: My voice is still recovering from being sick.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: I want you to leave.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, gosh, vocal rest.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't want to I just wouldn't want to rush anybody back in.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure Wow.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the reverse jackass podcast, everyone.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: For you, it has been three or four days.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: For us, it has been many, many days since we've sat in this Zoom call and too long.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: And and yelled at each other in very passive-aggressive ways.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, too long.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: We took a little hiatus, but we're back.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't know it, but we knew it.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't know it.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: No, you'll never know it.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: You'll never know, except I just told you, and now you know.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And in case you're new here or in case you forgot, I'm Evelyn, the Canadian Blade.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I'm here in London, Ontario.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: And with me, as always, is my good friend and partner in crime, Nick Bogner.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Nick, how are you doing?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm doing good, and I'm even better now that I'm here with you and all these people.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, that is so saccharine.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well, so we're here, it's an Evelyn day.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's an Evelyn day.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, we always come in with a question and a prompt.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a little open-ended today.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm taking a bit of a risk because I have a prompt, but I'm willing for this to go wherever it might.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I would think we're we're probably at like almost 50 episodes by now, you know, in crazy in the bank.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's too, it's too many.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for tuning in, everyone.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: We're wrapping this, we're wrapping this up.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's been real.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's been real.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: No, we've probably recorded about 50 so far.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: We have a little over 30 up.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I think finally now I feel comfortable not having a white knuckle death grip on every episode where I feel like I don't know where it's gonna go.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just happy to show up and and come what may.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: So so I'm gonna start with a little story, but this there's a reveal that comes with this story.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I have been very, very excited to tell slash show you this since last Friday.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I, in an act completely unprecedented by myself, because when I'm excited about something, I can't shut up about it.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I haven't texted you since Friday at all, have I?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Can you confirm?
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I can try to confirm that.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: Let's see.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Saturday you texted me.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you texted me a great thing from Twitter.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you did check on us on Friday to see if we were feeling better.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I did text you.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: No, I would say you were you were almost radio silent.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Radio silent.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to respect, like you were on vacation, you were not feeling well.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to respect that.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Appreciate that.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: But also, this what I'm about to share with you.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: I need to see your reaction, and someone else is eagerly anticipating your reaction as well.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's exciting.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so it's very exciting.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: So Friday night, I went to uh one of our jazz concerts here in town, and I sat beside an avid listener.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Was that the reaction you were looking for?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Nick just basically screamed silently.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Blanched.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, he did.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, that's not the reaction.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: But I went to one of the concerts and I sat beside our probably our most avid listener, who his name is Jason, not my husband Jason, but Jason J here in uh the city of London.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: What up, Jason J.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: What up?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he's definitely worthy of the air horn.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I am going to bump this episode up so it comes out this week because he knows we are recording right now.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: And he and he's excited for the reveal.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, Jason, just to give you an idea of how much Jason loves this podcast, I'm in a group chat with Jason and one other friend.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And first of all, he listens to our episodes every Tuesday and Thursday mornings while he's getting ready for the day.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: His wife can confirm that she hears the three of us in the upstairs.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: He's laughing, we're talking, you know how it goes.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And and uh she's like, I can confirm I hear you and Nick every Tuesday and Thursday morning.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: So he is probably the first listener.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then in our group chat, he changes the name of the group chat every time an episode comes out.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to give you, I want to give you last week it was titled Fuck Nick.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: Nope.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it was titled Boy, Nick is a piece of shit.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, how is Nick not in prison?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh no, he has said to me many times, when is Nick coming to visit?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because Nick seems like a good hang.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Jason, my man.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Nick is a great hang.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, Nick is a great hang.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Jason is very thoughtful, very creative.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: He named our our group chat Westmount Warrior 2, Hellbent for Erection.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: Jason, what are you doing to me?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, and I said to be honest, I didn't get it at first.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like I don't care either, but I love it.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: It was the episode where you we were talking about being King Narc, and I talked about following that car.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: I talked about following that car all around, right?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Remember when I followed the guy in the parking garage?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: That was in the Westmount neighborhood of our city.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: So he called it Westmount Warrior 2, which I thought was funny.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Hell bent for erection.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: The other part of this episode was when you were talking about putting a condom on a banana.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I used the term hellbent for election to talk about how this person was driving.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like the layers here, I couldn't have done it myself.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: The other previous to that, I was the episode about Irv, right?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sweating all over the place, right?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: He named our uh conversation barbecue pits because it was so hot.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: It was so hot in Irv's room, but pits, P-I-T-T-S, like armpits.
• 6:01
  unknown: Like this is.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: Armpits is spelled with one T, Evelyn.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: No, it's not.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: Evelyn.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: Armpits is spelled with one T.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: Not here, it's not.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: There must have been something.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: Are you bullshitting me?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_02: Is that a Canadian thing?
• 6:11
  unknown: No.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Wait.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: See, now I don't know.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Gosh, I forgot.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's hilarious.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: Jason, it's hilarious either way.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: But I both of you need to know how armpits is spelled.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_02: No, I think it's well, no, he would have a reason for this.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's so there's actually a layer there that you and I are too dense to get.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think, wow, I don't know how you just doubled down on insulting me.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like that was actually quite brilliant.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: I said that you and I.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: You and I know it.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: But you really like you made sure to insert it.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: So I want you to assume that if I'm included that I'm not insulting.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: If it's if it if it has to do with me, it's actually a compliment, even if you don't understand it.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I forgot.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, remember our episode we talked about I forgot you were like this?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Remember that episode?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: Because that's every episode on some levels.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Have a little whiff of that right now.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, Jason comes up with the best, the best names for our group chat.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: He is an incredibly avid, dedicated listener who he has a 30-minute drive to work.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: If he ever listens to us while he's driving, it's the perfect amount of time.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: No one, I would argue, is a bigger fan than Jason.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: It seems like for our podcast.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm here for it.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: That being said, Jason demonstrated his loyalty to uh perhaps the most important and famed line of this podcast, and that is referring to me as the Canadian blade.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's that has been something that that we've stuck with the whole podcast.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: It came out in episode one.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: We haven't let it go yet.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I sit down beside Jason, and Jason goes, I have a gift for you.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, You have a gift for me?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what he was talking about.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: And he gave me the gift.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: I was speechless.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: We high-fived, we hugged.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I was I didn't know what to say.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: He was so excited about this.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: I have committed to Jason that I would do the reveal of this gift on the podcast to capture your reaction.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: And and and the only person who will ever see the video of it will be Jason.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: But everyone else will get to hear your reaction.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: I'm ready.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I I want to present to you the official t-shirt.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: That Jason made for me.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Whoa! He made me a Canadian blade t-shirt.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Can you describe to the people that you're looking at right now?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_02: It is a black t-shirt, and there is a maple leaf with a fucking sword slicing right through it.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: And it is high quality, evocative.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's pretty badass.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's pretty badass.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: I officially have the Canadian.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the funny part of this is that Jason took this design off the internet.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: Somebody else had already made it.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is actually the logo.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I have it right in front of me here.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: It's the Ford family coat of arms.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually the Canadian men's soccer team from Team Canada 2022 for the Qatar 2022 games.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and they won they won the World Cup that year, didn't they?
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Who?
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Canada?
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Or Qatar?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Canada.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a real soccer buff.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_02: No, they didn't.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think Canada goes very far ever.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say, like, I don't know.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: This this would be surprising to me if that's actually.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: Then I was gonna be like, well, but they went to the finals though, right?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: And then you'd be like, no.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would be like, how do we beat out Brazil?
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what's happening there?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: So this logo is on winterbornblades.com.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the rest of it says FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 men's soccer team Canada Sword.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: And there's something on the sword on the actual picture, but Jason got it photoshopped off of there.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it did an apology.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I have felt seen and appreciated, and really like it was a really beautiful moment.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I was very excited.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: I was I I was gonna wear it um when I saw Jason yesterday, and he's like, no, Monday.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we both decided Monday podcast recording, Nick gets the reveal the first time.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, both of you.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: You're yeah, you're so welcome.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: So, Nick, this t-shirt obviously uh represents the Canadian standard of gift giving.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: You don't give gifts flippantly, you give deep, meaningful, you know, stolen logo gifts.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so if this is the Canadian standard of gift giving, Nick, my question for you is what is the American standard for gift giving?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: And while you're thinking, please note that American standard, I don't know if you have it there, but American Standard is a toilet name here in Canada.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's a brand.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Have it, Evelyn.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: We live it.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um we live the American standard toilet life.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I just that is such a Canadianly thoughtful gift that Jason gave you.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: Jason, my hat's off to you.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, that's fantastic.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: I think that in the United States, gift giving is gift giving is one of those things where we really like to do it in a way that might be best described as conditional.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, shoot.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_02: Where, you know, I mean, I think we pride ourselves on our on the you know, the number of weapons we've given to people um all over the world.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_02: And then the good news is we never ask for stuff in return for that.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: We're fond of giving out all kinds of humanitarian aid, and we definitely never pressure people to to help us back out, and we definitely never use that kind of aid or dependence as a as leverage on other people.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we just a rich tradition of selfless, you know, practically Catholic gift giving across the world.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so what I would say is that the American standard of gift giving is much like what you've done here, except it costs billions and billions and billions of dollars.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: It increases instability all over the world.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Oh it's you're not containing it within your own country.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: There's a global impact.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: I dare say that we're stingy within our own country.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_02: I think that, you know, I might go so far as to say that the powers that be are working really hard to give as little as possible to the people inside our own country right now.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: Perhaps one might say pathologically, while meanwhile, there are certain friends of ours that we're practically drowning in weapons and resources right now to do with whatever they might like to do.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_02: And they are disturbingly, upsettingly, criminally creative with said gifts.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_02: And the uh the good news for us is that this has never gone bad for us in the past.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: No, like I can't think of like three things now where it's gone bad in the past.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: I can't think of that.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so what I might say is that, like, you know, a metaphor might be if you had a um, if you had a a little kid, and the kid's maybe five or six, but he's no ordinary little kid.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: He's a little kid that every teacher, professional, friends parent in his whole life has told you is profoundly disturbed and needs to be monitored all the time.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_02: And then you go, I agree.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: And so I should arm him.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: And then you give this kid, you give this kid in a little box, and in the box is a large oversized pistol that's hard for a kid to wield with just a fucking hair trigger loaded, maybe even arguably with more bullets than a gun like that should hold.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then you hand it to the kid, and the kid immediately puts three in you.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um and like, does the kid is it is it just willy-nilly?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: They land where they land?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um, initially, yes, but then as time goes on, the kid gets a certain amount of familiarity with the weapon, a certain uh ability to wield it in the way that he wants to, and he starts to realize that he might be able to leverage some of that power over you.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe he's um pushing you into certain things, forcing your hand a little bit, and also that you don't get shot again.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: And then I think that the other piece of the standard is that once that happens, you immediately give him as many more weapons as he wants to.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um and then you also send your friends over and go, Hey, uh, I just had this really bad experience with this kid.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: Come over with me and let's watch him play with his gun for a little while.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: So, standard of gift giving.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry, I know that a lot of times this podcast takes a certain tone, and that tone is like, you know, putting the US one up on Canada.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_02: And so I don't mean to say that you all are less than with your, you know, beautiful t-shirts, yeah, what have you.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: But in America, we give until it fucking hurts.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: And somehow it builds uh, like what's the best way to say this?
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: It builds like a real, like it's like a snowball effect of confidence that just nothing can stop it.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing can stop it.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like that kid has received every participation, like a trophy, let's say, like a like a peace, like a trophy for peace.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, fuck you.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like just, I'm just thinking, like, I know what kind of kid this is.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: And yet that kid is walking around just into absolutely everything in its path, but it's still got a snotty little nose.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and I think, Evelyn, subtlety be damned.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_02: I know which kid you're talking about.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: Do you?
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I want to say that long before this particular child matriculated into this school, we've had this arrangement set up with all kinds of people all over the world.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: What I think what we're realizing is how incredibly solid and astute it is to have people always be a little worried about you and a little dependent on you.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_02: Oh what I mean.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's how lasting, trusting friendships are made.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that's why you're seeing us weather the current disruption so well.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: Is that it turns out the rest of the world is not sick of looking at us as the most powerful kid on the block that needs to be indulged all the time, right?
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_02: The rest of the world, if anything, is fonder of us than they've ever been and eager to bend over backwards.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you see, forgive me again, like you see a weakling like Mark Carney.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um just dribbling and just prostrate begging for validation.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know what I mean?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: It is sad.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know, like I I would say word on the street has it that when people speak of Mark Carney, they're just the tears.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: The tears are coming, and you never really know why.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: And and you know what?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe same word on the street here, same with our friends to the south.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Often a lot of tears, and and it's it's again layers to the tears.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why are we crying anymore?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: We don't know, we can't speak anymore.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: Well, because I think it's I think uh the thing that we're making it clear to the carnies of the world is careful or you could lose us.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that that that thought makes a lot of people really sad as a as a president of a country that has definitely not outstate its welcome um or its reputation with people.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think a lot of people are coming to grips with the fact that, you know, you know, we might not be willing to put up with everybody's bullshit all the time.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's high time.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's time, it's high time you guys stood up for yourselves.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can I just say that it's high time that you can that you guys really just stop taking all that guff from everyone else, you know, the the snickering and the taunting glances and the I think it's time.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's time.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I think if it's there's one thing that's really clear, it's that the earth is a meritocracy.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_02: And as the rightful leaders of that meritocracy whose leadership was meritoriously earned, yeah, I think it's only fitting that we remain absolutely in control of everything from here on out.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: Let me just say, yeah, departing from this, because it's making me a little ill to talk about.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I actually got lectured by a Canadian on board game arena the other day.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: Bart.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um, no, it was fine.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: It was he wasn't wrong, but it was just like, oh man, you're you've just been so uh incredibly generous and understanding, Evelyn, throughout our relationship.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I wouldn't have blamed you if there was a little part of you that was that was like a little pissy, even though I know I didn't do this to the United States.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_02: Like you've been so gracious and so kind about it.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_02: And the CBC, they were really nice.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like they didn't give me any shit about it either, which I wouldn't have blamed them if they had wanted to be shitty about it.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_02: And so every now and again, like you just go, okay, maybe everybody knows how upset we all are by this.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: But there was one person that was maybe willing to use me as a proxy for oh gosh, I'm I am frustrations.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: I am sorry.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: That person does not represent everyone, but sadly, I also don't represent everyone.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: Which I mean, he didn't tell me I was a fucker or anything like that.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, the good news was he wasn't out of line or anything like that, but it was just like, I don't know, man.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm sorry my racist uncle screamed at everybody in this in and out.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm really, really sorry.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Really, I didn't buy him the gun, I swear to God.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I didn't do anything.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Can I be honest?
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: When you said meritocracy and you said like a meritocracy, I actually heard ameritocracy, like one word.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, like americatocracy?
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like amerit, but I think that's a great new word.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_02: Americatocracy.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: No, a mer a meritocracy.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like am e R Atocracy.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: Ameritocracy.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to be this guy, but A-M-E-R-A.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_02: A M-E-A does not fit the scheme of either those words.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: Ameritocracy.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, sorry.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: For two weeks, since we haven't talked for two weeks, I've had no one to call me out on my grammatical negligence.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: And flipping.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's in this political climate, Evelyn, it's all I have left.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: All I have left is grammatical superiority.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: And let me tell you, when I first got together with my wife, she was the one that taught me the difference between less and fewer.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_02: And then, you know, we enjoyed breaking each other's balls about that.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I've always enjoyed being being a little superior with grammar, only to like be born at a time when like people are finally starting correctly.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: I might have to say that like being a total dipshit about grammar is actually kind of classic and shitty and not a good way to be.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_02: That it's like actually not good to set yourself up as better than other people based on these arcane rules that I spent years learning in the hopes of being better than other people.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I want you to always feel appreciated and valued in this in this friendship.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I understand what it's like to learn a bunch of things that you just can't use all the time now, a lot of real antiquated knowledge.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to give you in the final few moments of this podcast, I would love nothing more than if you explained not only to me, but our vast listenership.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh boy.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: And Jason, who I know for sure is listening to this.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait to see the chat name after this.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to explain to all of us the difference between less and fewer.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is your moment, Nick.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: Fewer is countable and less is not countable.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: So less is um less happiness, fewer is fewer things.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_02: Say it again.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_02: Less is no, fewer is countable.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and less is not countable.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_02: So less is like so fewer is an identifiable quantity.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_02: I would like, I would like 12 or fewer eggs.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I would like to have less anger.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_02: I would like to have fewer than fewer than two out angry outbursts a week.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: So so then another thing would be um I think the world would be better with one fewer musical genres, and that one fewer is jazz.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_02: Jason, jazz.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_02: Jason, listen.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's awful.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's awful.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_02: If they just played less notes and fewer songs.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: Jason, listen.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: Well, less music and fewer songs for people.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: Jason, this is Evelyn speaking, and I'm only speaking to you right now.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: I know, I know that you're crying right now.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: I can I don't even need to see you to know that that broke your heart.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: Someone who just who you admire so greatly and can't wait to hang out with just basically spat in your face.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I would love to say he didn't mean it, but he did.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: He really did.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: Here's another example.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh uh Jason, just stop listening now.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: Stop listening now, Jason.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: Turn the podcast off.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_02: When that guy first started talking about Miles Davis, I knew he'd be less of a man than me.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh shoot.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh shoot.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: How about that?
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_02: So that's a good thing.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: Uh could somebody talking about jazz have fewer good points to make?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: I think we get it.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I think not only did you prove your point about jazz, um, you proved many other points you made in this podcast.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_02: Am I gonna lose Jason J if I'm honest about jazz?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_02: That's Jason J's favorite thing in the world.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_02: It but but Jason J seems like a good hang.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_02: Jason J seems he is a good hang.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: Can he have a sense of humor about it?
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: Can he still love me even if I'm even if I'm too much of a swine?
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think so.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I can't speak for him.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: I can't speak for him.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think he would want you to be honest.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: I think you know, Jason is not two-faced.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very curious.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: Jason, I know you're listening to this podcast.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: I want, I want to know if you were having a conversation with Nick about jazz, what would you think that conversation would entail if Nick was vehemently uh opposed to that musical genre?
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Nick is vehemently opposed.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: And listen, Jason J, I just want you to know I appreciate you being here.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate you listening to this podcast.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: If I need to fake liking jazz in order to keep you, then I'll do it.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm on board with it.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: But if I'm being asked to be honest, and it feels like I am in this moment, yeah, then I want to say that I don't like jazz.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: And for no other reason, other than I don't like the way it sounds, and I don't like when people talk about it.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_02: People, jazz fans talking about jazz is the speech equivalent of jazz.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: Is the oh whoa, that was meta.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm right about this.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying you are.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: I had a great conversation about jazz with someone yesterday.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: It was wonderful.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: Allegedly.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: I felt great.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: He felt great.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: Did he?
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know?
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: Or are you guessing?
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, no, I'm not guessing.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm a good Was he a mental health professional?
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_02: Were you talking to your your therapist or your psychiatrist about this?
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: No, he was a he was a jazz musician.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: So oh, okay.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: I just want you to know was either of you sober?
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone, well, I was.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: I just want you to know what Nick just did when he said when he went, oh, it was the head tilt to the side, like it couldn't have been more disappointed.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, uh, reflecting on the last two weeks that we haven't recorded, I haven't felt someone else's disappointment in me.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it was, you know.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: No kidding.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I haven't.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to say I missed it a little bit because I really do think it's a cornerstone of our relationship.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's good to have you back.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I have to say two-way disappointment.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_02: I think I bring a little bit of the Catholic Church into the podcast with me because uh I was raised Catholic, and nothing is more Catholic than be kind to other people and know that you'll never really be good.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: You'll only be a flawed person, play acting good.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: All this, all this from your t-shirt, Jason.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_02: From this amazing Canadian blade t-shirt.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: I just I think that's fantastic.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: Pretty good.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm gonna wear it every time we record now because I have to, it's my identity.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'll say it'll be my podcast recording t-shirt.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think that is fantastic.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: And when you come to Canada and we do a live show in my living room with all the people who love this, because that's that's how big of a space we're probably gonna need.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna wear this t-shirt.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: And then by then, probably hopefully I'll have a cool nickname and a t-shirt to go with it.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: And an angry mob waiting outside my door.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: And an angry mob.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: We can only be so lucky.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_02: Nick, take us out.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_02: Folks, especially and including Jason J, it is nothing but a pleasure to be here with you on the Reverse Jackass podcast.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_02: We love you.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_02: We love that you're here.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_02: We hope that you will both take us with you in your week and that you will also tell anyone that you love or that you hate or that maybe you haven't met yet how wonderful this podcast is and how important it is in the ongoing relationships between the United States and Canada.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_02: We hope that you'll take some of our peace-mindedness into your family.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_02: But in the meantime, we're gonna keep you in our hearts and we're gonna see you in two days.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Nick.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_02: With me as always, this is Evelyn, the Canadian Blade.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_02: Evelyn, say goodbye to these wonderful people.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: See you later, everyone.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: We appreciate you for sticking it out to the end.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: Out.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: Some neighbors are besties.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: Others quarrel bitterly.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: Stuck together through geography.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: One of us has nukes.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: And the other has tokes.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's American and Canadian diplomacy.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's reverse.