Latest / Recovery Chronicles / Recovery Chronicles Ep. 192 - Jen

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Recovery Chronicles Ep. 192 - Jen · Recovery Chronicles

0:04
Speaker 1: Welcome to Recovery Chronicles.
0:05
Speaker 2: I'm your host, Liz, an addiction counselor at Harpview in Bismarck,
0:09
Speaker 2: North Dakota. This podcast is dedicated to the real human
0:12
Speaker 2: stories of people in recovery from alcohol and other drugs.
0:16
Speaker 2: People who have chosen change and who wake up every
0:18
Speaker 2: day walking that journey. These are stories of hope, healing
0:22
Speaker 2: and resilience and proof that transformation is possible. Hiri, I
0:32
Speaker 2: am back and continuing to introduce everyone to harp youew
0:36
Speaker 2: staff members.
0:38
Speaker 1: Today, I have Jen with me. Welcome Jen, Thank you.
0:44
Speaker 2: What is your role at Harpview.
0:47
Speaker 1: My role is technically the family case manager. I suppose
0:52
Speaker 1: you're gonna ask you what that means. Yes, Well, honestly
0:57
Speaker 1: that's still kind of in development right now, just kind
1:00
Speaker 1: of changes honestly depending on the needs. But it's kind
1:05
Speaker 1: of something there to support families of individuals who are
1:12
Speaker 1: enrolled with Heartview, and that can be at any point
1:16
Speaker 1: in our Heartview program, that can be in our inpatient programs,
1:20
Speaker 1: our outpatient programs, our aftercare programs, at any point there.
1:25
Speaker 1: And some of the things I guess that I can
1:27
Speaker 1: help with anything from just kind of sitting down and
1:31
Speaker 1: talking to family members, helping helping bridge that gap to
1:36
Speaker 1: offering resources, maybe some referrals that might need to be
1:41
Speaker 1: made outside of the community in the community, just kind
1:46
Speaker 1: of whatever. Everybody's situation is a little different, so kind
1:48
Speaker 1: of whatever might be needed. I'd imagine that that's a
1:53
Speaker 1: much different role than working directly with people that have
1:58
Speaker 1: substance use disorders because family have their own recovery process
2:02
Speaker 1: to go through. It is very different, yes, and oftentimes
2:08
Speaker 1: it can become very complex, but it's also very interesting
2:12
Speaker 1: work too.
2:16
Speaker 2: So what inspired you to want to work in addiction treatment?
2:21
Speaker 1: My grandfather, honestly, he is my absolute hero, and he
2:29
Speaker 1: was like perfect in my eyes growing up, of course,
2:33
Speaker 1: but what I didn't know when I was little was
2:36
Speaker 1: that he was actually recovering alcoholic. I didn't learn this
2:40
Speaker 1: until I was more into my teenage years and I
2:43
Speaker 1: heard him. He's kind of sat me down and talked
2:45
Speaker 1: to me about AA in the Big Book, and I
2:47
Speaker 1: kind of learned all these things as he became a sponsor.
2:54
Speaker 1: He showed me like his one year, five year, ten year,
2:57
Speaker 1: fifteen year, coins things like that. He was extremely proud
3:00
Speaker 1: of all that. So that's kind of where I first
3:03
Speaker 1: got my first exposure, my first exposure to anybody in recovery,
3:10
Speaker 1: and he was and still is my absolute hero. What
3:14
Speaker 1: I didn't know until after his passing and what my
3:17
Speaker 1: mom told me was that I kind of started asking
3:22
Speaker 1: about him and she told me she said, well, yeah,
3:26
Speaker 1: he actually went to treatment at Heartview in Mandan and
3:31
Speaker 1: she said, you were too young to remember, but that
3:36
Speaker 1: her and myself when I was an infant, it brought
3:40
Speaker 1: me to the Family Week program and attended that. So
3:45
Speaker 1: to kind of now way on down the road be
3:48
Speaker 1: a part of the Family Program at Heartview, I kind
3:52
Speaker 1: of feel like something's kind of come full circle and
3:54
Speaker 1: I feel really proud to be a part of that.
3:56
Speaker 2: Absolutely that's awesome.
4:00
Speaker 1: So what keeps you coming back to work on the
4:04
Speaker 1: hard days? For me, it is the resiliency of the
4:10
Speaker 1: human spirit and just those deep, meaningful connections that we
4:15
Speaker 1: make with others. It's a really tough field. We deal
4:22
Speaker 1: with a lot of really difficult things, and we see
4:25
Speaker 1: a lot of difficult things, We hear a lot of
4:27
Speaker 1: difficult things. So seeing those successes and building those connections,
4:34
Speaker 1: I think being able to touch those lives, it's what really
4:39
Speaker 1: keeps me going.
4:41
Speaker 2: And I'd imagine you have an even better perspective because
4:46
Speaker 2: you kind of get to see both sides of it
4:49
Speaker 2: because you work with the person that is in addiction
4:53
Speaker 2: treatment with hertview, but then you also work with their
4:56
Speaker 2: families too, so you get to see those relationships chips
5:00
Speaker 2: begin to kind of blossom and correct come back to
5:04
Speaker 2: something beautiful.
5:05
Speaker 1: That people want, Yes, yes, to be able to see
5:09
Speaker 1: those relationships kind of be able to rebuild or be
5:12
Speaker 1: reconnected even or just even the beginning stages of that.
5:17
Speaker 1: It's really it kind of heals something inside of me
5:20
Speaker 1: in a way. Sure, what is a common myth about
5:26
Speaker 1: addiction that you wish would disappear? One of the biggest
5:31
Speaker 1: myths that I wish would disappear is that a relapse
5:36
Speaker 1: means failure. Disease of addiction is no different than any
5:42
Speaker 1: other chronic disease like cancer or diabetes. So when a
5:49
Speaker 1: relapse occurs, it simply means that something needs to be reevaluated.
5:55
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that you lose the knowledge or the
5:57
Speaker 1: skills that you've gained, you know, when you've gone through
6:00
Speaker 1: treatment to recovery, but just that there's another opportunity for
6:04
Speaker 1: you to grow and learn even more and just expand
6:08
Speaker 1: upon those knowledge and knowledge and skills that are already there.
6:13
Speaker 2: I think that's one of my favorite questions that I've
6:15
Speaker 2: been asking staff members because I haven't gotten the same
6:19
Speaker 2: answer twice. Sure so, and having that perspective from LACS
6:25
Speaker 2: and now a family case manager and seeing the different
6:29
Speaker 2: perspectives of.
6:31
Speaker 1: What does that really mean to people? And I think
6:34
Speaker 1: that is important to remember that relapse isn't an end
6:38
Speaker 1: all be all. Absolutely, we can come back from relapses.
6:43
Speaker 1: We come back from bumps and stumbles, and life happens, right,
6:50
Speaker 1: we fall down a lot. It's what matters is that
6:52
Speaker 1: we get back up right.
6:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is one of the toughest moments you've had
7:00
Speaker 2: in this field so far?
7:04
Speaker 1: You know, working with the families too. I mean it
7:06
Speaker 1: has its benefits, right, Like you said, you kind of
7:09
Speaker 1: get to see both sides, but you know, on the
7:11
Speaker 1: flip side, it can kind of also have its drawback.
7:14
Speaker 1: So if you see someone fail or stumble, you kind
7:19
Speaker 1: of see the family sometimes follow the same way. So
7:24
Speaker 1: I think just probably the way I would answer that
7:27
Speaker 1: one is, you know, just kind of watching someone lose
7:32
Speaker 1: their loved one to the disease of addiction, no matter
7:36
Speaker 1: how hard they tried, no matter how much work or
7:39
Speaker 1: effort they put in, and just trying to help them understand.
7:43
Speaker 1: You know, it's it's not something that you did or
7:46
Speaker 1: didn't do. It's not something that you could have changed
7:51
Speaker 1: or stopped. You know, you did everything that you could do.
7:57
Speaker 2: I think that's a hard thing for families to to
8:00
Speaker 2: hear and to remember, because if love could cure addiction,
8:08
Speaker 2: then we wouldn't have the disease of addiction, yes, exactly.
8:12
Speaker 2: And I know when I got sober, my mom even
8:17
Speaker 2: you know, said well what can I do and how
8:21
Speaker 2: can I make this better for you? And I mean
8:25
Speaker 2: a mother's love can do a lot of things.
8:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, but curing.
8:32
Speaker 2: Anything is unfortunately not something that it can do.
8:37
Speaker 1: Unfortunately. How do you avoid burnout or compassion fatigue? My
8:47
Speaker 1: honest answer here, I don't always. I'm not perfect. There's
8:54
Speaker 1: been times where I've overdone it, I've become burnt out myself.
8:59
Speaker 1: But what I have learned in the last like almost
9:02
Speaker 1: fifteen years of working in the human service field is
9:08
Speaker 1: it's not so much how you avoid it, but if
9:10
Speaker 1: you're able to recognize, you know where you're at and
9:13
Speaker 1: when you're coming up on that that time, I guess,
9:19
Speaker 1: or where you're coming up on the point of burnout.
9:22
Speaker 1: So I guess for me, like being able to recognize
9:25
Speaker 1: when I'm nearing burnout, I have to have like a
9:28
Speaker 1: time of reflection. I have to be able to take
9:30
Speaker 1: that time, whether it's you know, an hour here or
9:35
Speaker 1: some time off of work. Sometimes I'll sometimes I'll even
9:38
Speaker 1: take half a day off of work or you know,
9:41
Speaker 1: an extra day like a Friday or something off of work,
9:44
Speaker 1: just to kind of breathe, just to kind of spend
9:46
Speaker 1: some time outside, spend some time with my dog, spend
9:49
Speaker 1: some time with my kids, whatever it might be. I'm
9:55
Speaker 1: very much an outdoor person. So just for me, like
9:58
Speaker 1: being outside energizes me. I do the things that I
10:01
Speaker 1: know fill me up. But yeah, I you know, I
10:05
Speaker 1: think even those of us that work in the field
10:07
Speaker 1: and have for a long time, we still we know
10:11
Speaker 1: we're getting to that point, right, but we still feel
10:13
Speaker 1: like we got to press we gotta press on, we
10:15
Speaker 1: gotta press on, we gotta press on, and sometimes we
10:17
Speaker 1: press a little too far. So I think it's just
10:21
Speaker 1: a constant balancing act.
10:24
Speaker 2: As somebody who is newly in the human service field.
10:28
Speaker 2: I appreciate that answer because it is something that I
10:34
Speaker 2: constantly worry about, how do I avoid this because we
10:37
Speaker 2: do see some tough cases sometimes and we hear the
10:42
Speaker 2: hard things. We meet people usually at their lowest points
10:46
Speaker 2: in their lives, and then you bring the families in
10:51
Speaker 2: who are also at pretty low points in their lives
10:53
Speaker 2: because they're watching somebody they love go through something horrible
10:58
Speaker 2: that they can't fix. Yeah. Yeah, So I appreciate the
11:04
Speaker 2: honesty of not avoiding it but recognized absolutely.
11:09
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's just the realistic the realistic
11:12
Speaker 1: point or the reality of it all. You know, it's
11:17
Speaker 1: what you deal with is heavy, and there's.
11:18
Speaker 2: A lot, there's a lot there, so h and figuring
11:24
Speaker 2: out what does fill your cup because even in professional roles,
11:31
Speaker 2: we can't fill somebody else's cup if ours is empty.
11:34
Speaker 1: Absolutely, yep.
11:38
Speaker 2: What's something you wish families understood about recovery?
11:45
Speaker 1: What I see the most, I see a lot of
11:50
Speaker 1: families that are understanding, you know, that are that are
11:53
Speaker 1: willing to put in the work and put in the
11:55
Speaker 1: time and things like that, which is amazing, right. But
11:59
Speaker 1: I think the one thing has not talked about enough
12:01
Speaker 1: is that recovery is not linear. So we hear all
12:05
Speaker 1: the time healing is not linear, right, which is accurate
12:08
Speaker 1: as well, But recovery is the same. Recovery is not
12:12
Speaker 1: linear either. Recovery also consists of setbacks and relapses, and
12:20
Speaker 1: that's just a normal part of the process. And I
12:23
Speaker 1: think so many times when I talk to families, they
12:27
Speaker 1: just get so upset, which is understandable, you know, when
12:30
Speaker 1: there's a relapse or a setback, and they think that
12:33
Speaker 1: it's just kind of all for nothing and everything just
12:36
Speaker 1: kind of fell apart. But I think just trying to
12:39
Speaker 1: look at the bigger picture and understand that there's more
12:43
Speaker 1: to it than that. You know, as long as a
12:46
Speaker 1: lesson is learned, once again, you don't lose all those skills,
12:49
Speaker 1: you don't lose all that knowledge. I think that's I
12:54
Speaker 1: think that's probably the biggest thing to me that I
12:58
Speaker 1: see and.
13:00
Speaker 2: Helping families kind of realize that maybe they can even
13:05
Speaker 2: learn lessons from their loved ones relapses and setbacks and
13:12
Speaker 2: were there signs that they could recognize in their loved
13:16
Speaker 2: one that maybe we're leading up to the relapse, and
13:19
Speaker 2: so then if somebody else can see that sign and
13:22
Speaker 2: point it out to somebody, then maybe we can prevent
13:25
Speaker 2: a relapse from happening. Yes, if we are open and
13:29
Speaker 2: honest with that communication of hey, are you doing okay?
13:33
Speaker 2: Do you need anything?
13:35
Speaker 1: Hey, that's a great point. Yes, absolutely yes.
13:42
Speaker 2: What advice would you give to someone supporting a loved
13:45
Speaker 2: one in recovery. I have a lot of.
13:50
Speaker 1: Advice to get, but I guess for this one, I
13:54
Speaker 1: would just say patience. Listen to your loved one and
14:01
Speaker 1: educate yourself as much as possible. So be patient with
14:07
Speaker 1: your loved one. Because recovery is a journey. And as
14:10
Speaker 1: I said, it's not linear. It's full of setbacks, full
14:14
Speaker 1: of relapses, full of very uncomfortable situations and conversations. Be
14:20
Speaker 1: prepared to be uncomfortable. It's just how it is. But
14:24
Speaker 1: it's also full of beautiful moments of growth, transformation, reconnection, rediscovery.
14:32
Speaker 1: It's amazing. Listen to your loved one, like really listen.
14:38
Speaker 1: Don't just yeah I hear you, but listen from your soul.
14:44
Speaker 1: A lot of times, all we need and want is
14:47
Speaker 1: humans is just to be heard and validated. So just
14:51
Speaker 1: to know that our experiences and the things that we've
14:54
Speaker 1: endured are valid in this world, No matter how traumatic
14:57
Speaker 1: they might be. I think that's many times, that's all.
15:03
Speaker 1: That's all a lot of us need.
15:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, And and sometimes we as humans have this ridiculous
15:12
Speaker 2: I don't even know what that we do where we
15:15
Speaker 2: minimize the things that we've gone through because it's not
15:20
Speaker 2: that bad, and somebody else out there has been through
15:23
Speaker 2: something that's so much worse. So I should be fine now, right,
15:26
Speaker 2: and I should be okay.
15:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, yep, yep, you're you're The things you've been through
15:36
Speaker 1: in your trauma is valid. You went through it for
15:39
Speaker 1: a reason, right, Yeah. And then I was just gonna say,
15:44
Speaker 1: you know, remember that listening doesn't mean that you have
15:48
Speaker 1: to have a solution or that you have to fix
15:50
Speaker 1: your loved one too. I think so many times when
15:52
Speaker 1: we sit down and talk to people and they come
15:55
Speaker 1: to us with their problems or their you know, things
15:57
Speaker 1: that they want to talk about, we feel like we
15:58
Speaker 1: have to fix them. We feel like we have to
16:01
Speaker 1: be the fixer. And it's hard sometimes to just kind
16:04
Speaker 1: of sit with with that and just listen. I know
16:08
Speaker 1: it is. For me. It was for me. I really
16:10
Speaker 1: had to learn how not to be a fixer. But
16:14
Speaker 1: the more I worked at it, the better I became,
16:17
Speaker 1: so just try to work on that.
16:21
Speaker 2: I guess.
16:24
Speaker 1: People just you know, it just means that they want
16:26
Speaker 1: to be heard, They want to trust you enough to
16:30
Speaker 1: be open and honest and share some of the most
16:32
Speaker 1: intimate parts themselves with you, and that's that's an honor,
16:35
Speaker 1: honestly so. And then I just just educates as a
16:40
Speaker 1: family members, as the loved ones, as who you know,
16:43
Speaker 1: whoever it might be. Just educate yourself as much as
16:46
Speaker 1: you can, and what I mean by that is just
16:50
Speaker 1: kind of reach out for as much reading as you can,
16:54
Speaker 1: as much support as you can, as much education, attend
16:58
Speaker 1: an a air NA group with your loved one, try
17:03
Speaker 1: to put yourself in their shoes as much as possible.
17:07
Speaker 1: There's support groups out there online and locally in person
17:12
Speaker 1: that you can attend that are just specifically geared towards
17:15
Speaker 1: families and loved ones, like Families Anonymous, alan On, Smart
17:21
Speaker 1: Families and Friends, and the local heart program through Heartview,
17:28
Speaker 1: So just kind of I think reaching out for those
17:30
Speaker 1: resources too is huge to just kind of educate and
17:34
Speaker 1: learn more about what's going on and what my loved
17:37
Speaker 1: one in person is going through. I'm really glad that
17:41
Speaker 1: you brought up the Heart program.
17:42
Speaker 2: What is the Heart program?
17:45
Speaker 1: So the Heart Program is a program that Heartview puts on,
17:50
Speaker 1: but it's completely open and free to anybody in the
17:53
Speaker 1: community or the surrounding community. And what it is, it's
17:59
Speaker 1: kind of like support program. It's a two hour program
18:04
Speaker 1: every on a bi weekly basis. Excuse me. In the
18:09
Speaker 1: first hour, we do kind of like an education piece,
18:12
Speaker 1: so we'll either have a speaker come in or we'll
18:17
Speaker 1: meet with like we've we've met with families who've told
18:19
Speaker 1: their stories about addiction, things like that. It's it's geared
18:22
Speaker 1: more towards families or loved ones of those who are
18:27
Speaker 1: going through an addiction. But anybody is welcome to come.
18:31
Speaker 1: And then our second hour of that is more of
18:36
Speaker 1: like a support piece hour. So you know, if someone
18:39
Speaker 1: can come for the first hour and if they don't
18:41
Speaker 1: feel like they want to stay for support group hour,
18:43
Speaker 1: they more than welcome to leave or stay whichever they prefer.
18:48
Speaker 1: And that happens, like I said, on a bad bi
18:50
Speaker 1: weekly basis on Tuesday evenings from six to eight at
18:55
Speaker 1: the Heartview one on one building.
18:59
Speaker 2: So when people get a chance to meet other families
19:03
Speaker 2: who are going through the same things may not be
19:07
Speaker 2: at the same stage, but have somebody that they love
19:12
Speaker 2: and care about that is also in recovery or attempting
19:16
Speaker 2: to find their own recovery journey. Absolutely. Yes, So that
19:23
Speaker 2: to me is huge because as people with substance use disorders,
19:27
Speaker 2: we have narcotics Synonymous, we have alcoholics Anonymous, we have
19:32
Speaker 2: those twelve step programs, but not the families don't always
19:38
Speaker 2: know those types of things, and they need just as
19:42
Speaker 2: much support for their healing journey and their recovery journey
19:46
Speaker 2: as we do. Absolutely, and I like that heartbew offers that,
19:52
Speaker 2: and it's open to the public that you don't have
19:55
Speaker 2: to have somebody that's in services with heartbew.
19:58
Speaker 1: Right, and you don't have to be a filly with
20:00
Speaker 1: heart View in any way, shape or form. It's just
20:03
Speaker 1: that that's where it happens to take place. So yeah,
20:07
Speaker 1: it's they have two volunteers that run the program. They're incredible,
20:11
Speaker 1: They've run the program for years. They're just amazing.
20:15
Speaker 2: So come check that out. Absolutely, how do you handle
20:24
Speaker 2: setbacks or relapses with clients?
20:28
Speaker 1: So me, personally, I am the kind of person that
20:32
Speaker 1: truly believes that everything happens for a reason. I know,
20:37
Speaker 1: some people hear that and I go, oh, okay, whatever,
20:40
Speaker 1: you know, But I really do. I really do, even
20:43
Speaker 1: some of the most traumatic things in someone's life. I
20:47
Speaker 1: really do believe that everything happens for a reason, and
20:50
Speaker 1: so I also look at relapses or setbacks the same way.
20:54
Speaker 1: I just think that they're a natural and normal part
20:57
Speaker 1: of the recovery process and not something that.
21:02
Speaker 2: Should be dwelled upon.
21:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, they happen, but like I said earlier, you know,
21:11
Speaker 1: the most important thing is that you get back up
21:13
Speaker 1: and you keep going, and that you learn something from it.
21:18
Speaker 1: So one of my favorite quotes actually that relates to that.
21:22
Speaker 1: I wrote it down. It just says growth is stepping
21:26
Speaker 1: over the things.
21:26
Speaker 2: You used to trip on.
21:29
Speaker 1: I just thought that was kind of that's awesome.
21:32
Speaker 2: I got so yeah that I really like that, and
21:38
Speaker 2: and it makes a lot of sense, and not just
21:41
Speaker 2: for recovery either, but right for life.
21:45
Speaker 1: For just life in general.
21:48
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, because I mean sometimes life just be lifing
21:53
Speaker 2: out there exactly. Can you share a moment when you
22:00
Speaker 2: real transformation in a client or within a family dynamic?
22:06
Speaker 1: Absolutely yes. And I just want to say too, like
22:10
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times in this field, those
22:14
Speaker 1: of us that kind of deal with it every day
22:18
Speaker 1: would consider like a real transformation, maybe something a lot smaller,
22:26
Speaker 1: you know, like a lot of people that don't work
22:27
Speaker 1: in this field think, okay, like a transformation, right, is
22:30
Speaker 1: like somebody completely changing their lives and staying sober for
22:34
Speaker 1: the rest of their lives. And yes, that is a transformation.
22:38
Speaker 1: That's incredible, that's amazing. But the things that I think
22:41
Speaker 1: of it for when you say transformation, I guess and
22:48
Speaker 1: when I think of the specific example I think of
22:53
Speaker 1: is something where someone has had has grown up in
22:57
Speaker 1: nothing but trauma, growing up and nothing but drug abuse,
23:05
Speaker 1: and that was just the normal because that's all they
23:07
Speaker 1: ever knew. So, you know, they came to us and
23:13
Speaker 1: you know, they may have had several relapses or whatnot,
23:16
Speaker 1: but there was eventually a time when you know, it
23:19
Speaker 1: kind of clicked and they said, ah, this is this
23:20
Speaker 1: isn't normal. Can you help me? And that to me
23:25
Speaker 1: was like the beginning of here we go, your life
23:29
Speaker 1: is going to change, and you did it. And to me,
23:33
Speaker 1: that was that, Like I just I got chills right
23:36
Speaker 1: now just talking about it, because yeah, you just know,
23:38
Speaker 1: like there's no going back after that. You know that
23:40
Speaker 1: your life, their life is going to change for the better.
23:45
Speaker 2: And I think we.
23:45
Speaker 1: See that all too often too, because addiction oftentimes is
23:51
Speaker 1: that cycle. Not always, but it can be that cycle
23:56
Speaker 1: of this.
23:57
Speaker 2: Was normal, this is you know, mom and dad drank
24:01
Speaker 2: all the time. Mom and dad used drugs all the time.
24:04
Speaker 2: So what do I do? That's what I do because
24:07
Speaker 2: that's what I know. So I totally agree that making
24:14
Speaker 2: that choice to decide to do something different, no matter
24:20
Speaker 2: how many times it how many tries it takes for
24:22
Speaker 2: it to stick and for people to get it. Every
24:28
Speaker 2: time that you keep coming back, we're still planting those seeds. Yes,
24:32
Speaker 2: and it may take five or ten years, but somebody
24:35
Speaker 2: may look back and you know, say, you know what
24:38
Speaker 2: that one time that I was at Harview, Jen said
24:42
Speaker 2: this to me, and she knew what she was talking about.
24:48
Speaker 1: I don't know if a little that block back.
24:49
Speaker 2: God, Oh, what's a small win in recovery that people
24:59
Speaker 2: might overla luck but is actually huge?
25:03
Speaker 1: I think daily like self care tasks, I think is
25:09
Speaker 1: a huge win. A lot of times we don't think
25:11
Speaker 1: of those like little things, those little self care things, right.
25:17
Speaker 1: I know for me it was literally just getting on
25:21
Speaker 1: a bed when the alarm went off, or even getting
25:23
Speaker 1: on a bed when the alarm went off the second
25:25
Speaker 1: or third time, not the seventh or eighth time.
25:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know.
25:29
Speaker 1: I mean that's that's one of the hardest things to do,
25:32
Speaker 1: is to even get out of bed, sometimes showering on
25:36
Speaker 1: a regular basis, or keep doing your hair, wearing clean clothing.
25:42
Speaker 1: Sometimes there's there's a lot of other barriers to that
25:45
Speaker 1: that you know, might impede you from even being able
25:49
Speaker 1: to do that. Eating, eating a healthy diet on a
25:54
Speaker 1: regular schedule, you know, not going days on end without eating. Sleep.
26:00
Speaker 1: Sleep is a huge one, you know, following a regular
26:02
Speaker 1: sleep schedule and getting enough sleep, not going you know,
26:05
Speaker 1: two three days without sleeping at all and then sleeping
26:08
Speaker 1: a week straight. And then I think just continuing to
26:11
Speaker 1: like work on those things, those social things, those mental
26:14
Speaker 1: health things that make you feel fulfilled and centered, and
26:19
Speaker 1: continuing to have those relationships with those people that are
26:26
Speaker 1: important to you and maintain those relationships.
26:30
Speaker 2: I like that you brought up the small daily tasks
26:34
Speaker 2: for self care because I think so often people when
26:38
Speaker 2: people think of self care, they think of the big things,
26:41
Speaker 2: you know, getting a massage, getting your nails done, doing
26:46
Speaker 2: those bit, you know, getting a pedicure, spending a ton
26:49
Speaker 2: of money on yourself, but getting proper sleep is huge, yes,
26:56
Speaker 2: And that is absolutely self care.
26:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, And I think that's something that we all
27:02
Speaker 1: need to work at, right, like we all struggle with
27:04
Speaker 1: from time to time.
27:05
Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, I mean I'm totally guilty of not
27:12
Speaker 2: same same absolutely yeah. And yeah, and getting up. I've
27:17
Speaker 2: you know, having five or six alarms set and it
27:22
Speaker 2: can feel really empowering to get up as soon as
27:25
Speaker 2: that alarm goes off and not lay in bed for
27:28
Speaker 2: another ten or fifteen minutes, but start that day. And
27:35
Speaker 2: sometimes that's all it takes, is just forcing yourself to
27:39
Speaker 2: get up, yes, and face everything as hard as.
27:43
Speaker 1: It might seem. Sometimes just doing it. You gotta do it, Yeah,
27:49
Speaker 1: you gotta do it, even if you know, if you're
27:52
Speaker 1: coming to Harview, pop in and to anybody's office, really
27:56
Speaker 1: and let us know, hey, today is not a great day. Yeah, perfect,
28:02
Speaker 1: we can help with that.
28:03
Speaker 2: We get that too.
28:04
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
28:05
Speaker 2: I think we've all been there, yep, yes, yes, we
28:09
Speaker 2: have all. We've all been there with days that are
28:12
Speaker 2: not great and days that and days that are really
28:15
Speaker 2: great and then days where I mean I have my
28:17
Speaker 2: days where I don't even know if I'm coming or going. Yep,
28:24
Speaker 2: what would you say to someone who's scared task for help.
28:31
Speaker 2: I think I would say, You're not alone, and it's
28:36
Speaker 2: okay to not be okay, It's okay to not have
28:40
Speaker 2: it all figured out. It's a heavy burden to carry,
28:47
Speaker 2: and especially if you feel like you have to carry
28:49
Speaker 2: it alone. I just want you to know that there's
28:53
Speaker 2: people out there that care and that are going to
28:55
Speaker 2: be here to support you no matter what happens, no
28:58
Speaker 2: matter what.
28:59
Speaker 1: Decision you decide to make without judgment. Is it gonna
29:06
Speaker 1: be easy? No, No, I'm not gonna lie. But I
29:11
Speaker 1: assure you you're worth it. You can heal, and you
29:15
Speaker 1: can become a better version of yourself. I like to
29:19
Speaker 1: tell my clients that nobody ever died from being uncomfortable.
29:25
Speaker 2: I like that. Yep mm hmm. We might feel like
29:30
Speaker 2: we're gonna die, Yes, yes we do. I've even had
29:35
Speaker 2: those moments myself where I'm so uncomfortable that I'm convinced
29:39
Speaker 2: myself that I'm going to die from the uncomfortability. But
29:43
Speaker 2: I haven't. And as far as I know, nobody's ever
29:48
Speaker 2: medically died from being uncomfortable. It's interesting. I like that though. Yes,
29:56
Speaker 2: the you saying it's okay to not feel he kind
30:00
Speaker 2: of made me think of that because we do we
30:04
Speaker 2: as humans, and it doesn't matter if you have a
30:07
Speaker 2: substance use disorder or not. We feel like we have
30:12
Speaker 2: to have it all together all the time. Yeah, absolutely,
30:16
Speaker 2: and then if we don't, then we've failed as a parent,
30:23
Speaker 2: as a friend, as a sibling, or whatever million hats
30:29
Speaker 2: we wear. Right, we have failed everybody because we don't
30:34
Speaker 2: have everything all figured out, which is absurd, and I
30:38
Speaker 2: guess we've all failed. Yeah. Yeah, so we're all just
30:42
Speaker 2: failing together.
30:43
Speaker 1: It's fine and the world keeps going. Nobody has it
30:46
Speaker 1: all figured out, nobody.
30:47
Speaker 2: So what message or hope do you want to leave
30:54
Speaker 2: listeners with today?
30:58
Speaker 1: I just want to say, no, matter where you're at
30:59
Speaker 1: in your life life today, no matter what you've been through,
31:05
Speaker 1: you matter. Everybody matters. Embrace your journey. Everything we go
31:12
Speaker 1: through in this life has a purpose. Every hardship that
31:16
Speaker 1: we overcome and every mistake that we learn from builds
31:20
Speaker 1: your story of resilience and perseverance, and that can inspire
31:25
Speaker 1: and give strength and hope to others.
31:30
Speaker 2: That was beautifully said a day. Thank you, so thank
31:35
Speaker 2: you Jen for coming on and sharing all of that
31:40
Speaker 2: information with us. Thank you, and I'm sure we will
31:45
Speaker 2: all see more of you to