Latest / The Habit Lab / Episode 93: LAST Summer's Wipeouts & THIS Summer's Edits

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Episode 93: LAST Summer's Wipeouts & THIS Summer's Edits · The Habit Lab

• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: We all have areas in our life we might feel stuck or overwhelmed.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So join me, Jenna Zint, habit coach, teacher, and follower of Jesus, as we go after little bits of better by building offensively small habits that create big impact.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Habit Lab Podcast.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Habit Lab.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: I am Jenna Zint and we are doing our summer review from last year.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Every year I've um I have a summer course setting up for summer, and I like to go over what went well last summer and what were total flops.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: I, if you know me long enough, I I think realistically you can design a system, but until it's up and running, habit, flow, whatever you want to call it, um, you don't actually know if it fits your family.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know what works or not works.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I think very rarely, like you hear about these stunning systems people make, and then you're like, okay, tell me in six months what worked, what didn't, what you edited.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Cause I like, I want real life feedback versus like anyone can design a great system, but did it hold up?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Did it serve you?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: What were the pain points?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, we're gonna talk about our summer.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: So we're headed into 2026.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's currently early summer.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't bought my course, I highly recommend it.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you don't have to be a mom.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I get the question a lot if we if we are not mothering young children right now is the course applicable.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it is, none of the exercises or the teachings are specifically um like are to moms only.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: But what I do say is that my real life examples of maybe some ideas of fun and connection and whatnot are from my own life.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: So those examples of what you might do to plug into those, like your brainstorm list or your bucket list, is gonna be different than your version if you don't have children.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: What fun is.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: And let me just tell you, your version of fun is probably more real fun than the 500-piece puzzle I bought to play with my 10-year-old.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, so, anyways, it's applicable whether you have littles or not.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um okay, so let's start at the beginning.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: What did not work well last year?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: So a couple years ago, I realized that my kids were being, I don't know if selfish is the right word, but I saw this.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I I should actually pause.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: I think of summers as a time with a little extra, or sorry, a season with a little extra time and margin to go after kind of shaping a part of the family culture or the kids' character that I'm like, mmm, I think we need some more attention to this to develop it in a different direction or like weed this out or like purposely cultivate this and um give us a lot more grace during the school year because that's usually our full capacity.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: So each summer I try to focus on something that I want to see grow.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and it's cool to have like one thing that you're going after versus idealistically, we're gonna be more we're gonna have better manners and be in, you know, be Bible quoting kiddos who respond according to the word.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I'm doing a a voice in my mind.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: That was like a Billy Graham, if she was a woman voice.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: But the point is a lot of times like we get idealistic of have a bunch of different goals for character, but realistically, it's probably like one that you're gonna do.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: So a couple years ago, I saw my kiddos when we'd have we have a high value for we're friends with people of all ages, like we value adults, like we're having tomorrow, we're gonna have a play date with some of their favorite friends, and then we're also having our um an adult with a baby come over who's in her mid-20s.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, like trying to cultivate the culture of we're not just interested in our peers, because I watch, I kind of think in general, it's one of the things I liked about my childhood.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: My parents did that well, and I watch other people kind of have too narrow of a scope, even adults with people that are willing or find worth investing in community or connection.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, so when after I called it the baby pool parties, and we had all our friends who had littles come over, and it was actually so good.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: I think it really, I think it happened for two years, and the last year it kind of petered out.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: But I think what it did or I tried to do was have them have a value for younger kids and like not just your ideal friend, playmate, and learn to like like kids, and they actually did a great job.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And now my kids are stellar.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: So this summer going into oh, last summer though, it was hard to have I had too many recurring things.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd thought like, oh, I'm gonna automate it like I've done in the past, but because um I think a few things were different, they're a little older and they had some camps, and it was too many commitments, even though they were fun.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like I purposely varied from um, I don't know, like a chore to a camp to like casual fun in our backyard, but it was still too much.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: I realized that I needed to plan it more um like I do during the school year, with have ideas, like in my course, I have like a list of ideas for each area, which gets a little nuanced, like learning, connection, creativity, um, service, uh, scripture or sorry, faith, whatever.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I could go look at that and plug one of those in every week if we have the capacity or what I think is missing, you know, almost treat it like a menu, like what's missing in our diet this week, versus pre-establishing and automating it, then it felt too full.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then when we'd need rest, it'd be hard to cancel at the last minute.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I did not do the recurring baby pool party dates.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt sad because, you know, whenever you cancel something or like stop a tradition, it's just like a little bit of grief or remorse, right?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: And am I disappointing everybody, but the awareness, like, okay, my kids are actually in a different season, and actually they got a ton out of that, and it's not all or nothing.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: So the compromise was we picked a date in June to host everybody, and then we're gonna do another one in July.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh, I think that's actually gonna give our family enough rhythm where we're honoring those connections we've like invested in the last couple years, but it was too much every week.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then cool, so that was kind of a flop from last year was having too many automated things, and then we got into different weeks with different, you know, sleep modes or full coaching modes.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oops, I wish I had not committed a month ago to all of the things that sounded great in the moment.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so this year though, to kind of hit the same vein of service, it's kind of cute.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: My girls have wanted to do mother's helping.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're familiar, it's babysitting, but the mom doesn't leave because my girls aren't old enough to be alone with kiddos.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, yeah, yeah, they're not.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so they've wanted to at various points.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: I've dropped them off at friends' houses, and actually, it's adorable.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: My girls are so into it that they made their own business cards on Canva.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: And we they were like, okay, can you print these off, mom?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I we actually just uploaded them on the Walgreens app and we printed them so that they could be like photos because it was 25 cents each.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I just made like 10 per kiddo because I was like, I'm not actually gonna buy business cards, but I want them to um look like what do you call it, look a little more professional for their own sake.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so anyways, they've really been into this.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: So realizing this summer is something that they were gonna want to do probably was to have some more, like they talked about the mother's helping.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, okay, we're not gonna do the baby pool party because that is something different.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: But the responsibility and them getting paid no longer feels like obligation.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: They're actually really excited about it.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: So um during spring break, I actually knowing that I was looking at adding to this this summer, I actually test drove it to see what their capacity was and if they actually thought they could do it versus their ideal.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And we figured out from a um a friend was awesome.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like I communicated with her what it was, and I was like, hey, would this be helpful?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And the girls went a couple times during spring break, and we found out three hours was their capacity, and other than a basic lunch sandwich, that was probably all they had.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, the moms have to stay home.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: One works from home remotely, one was overseeing like a renovation at their house.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it went so well.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: And my kids loved it and they liked the money.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, oh, one other habit that we've been working on the last couple years, which I mentioned, I'll put the link in the notes.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: But we have this app called Greenlight.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's more than an app, it's like virtual bank accounts, almost like cash app for kids.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: But what's awesome about it is like if the kids spend money or I'm gonna give them 25 cents or a dollar for that chore, or they wanted to spend their money that grandma gave them, but they don't have it on them.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: There's this um, you should look look into it.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's epic, but they can like um see the history.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: So, because a lot of times when we have cash, they'd be like, Did you transfer that or did I spend that?
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it'd be this like headache of remembering what was what.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: So now with the girls, the cool part about them being more conscientious of money and wanting to save a little bit, but of course, I don't want them to get things like real jobs, like three hours a week feels like an appropriate level of commitment for their age.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's cool because it likes taking the place of some other recurring things, but they feel full of purpose rather than why are we hosting another pool party at our house is what I got to at the end of 2025.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, note it.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: It feels like you are suffocating on the fun I thought sounded fun in June.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but because of this green light app, they can I can send the link and they get to pay the the mom pays directly to each girl so they can watch it and they're being motivated.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: And the cool part too in the going after generosity is like now, because they have a little bit of cash, um, they'll pay for like I I'm not going to buy X right now, but if you'd like to use some of your little your money, you're welcome to.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Or they have savings goals.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, a couple years ago, they really wanted a play, what is it called?
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: Nintendo Switch, I think.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not, I don't like video games.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, hmm, how can I make it not a no, but hard.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I told them they were we would buy a Nintendo Switch if they all wanted to save up their money, which they had like zero money, you know, to buy one.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: So y'all, they did it.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: It took them like over a year and a half.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: They did big sales, they would mothers help and they'd save it.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: They'd contribute some birthday money, some wherever they got, odds and ends, cash.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: They actually saved up, I think it was like 250 bucks collectively as a little three-unit sibling.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it was awesome.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, yes, I'm absolutely okay with you getting the Nintendo Switch.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, we have regulations about how much they can play, which surprisingly is not that like they don't actually, they're not as into it as they thought, but it motivated them to save and even collectively save.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like self-motivation versus mom telling them to do something.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: So now with the mother's helper, it's kind of like they got the bug of enjoying saving their money and having some that they get to choose to spend with.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then even being generous for each other.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: The other day, um, Aaron was in the front yard with the kiddos doing some yard work, and an ice cream truck came around and he said he wasn't gonna buy.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then Rosie's like, what if I buy?
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: But Wesley only had 50 cents.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's cool because they can check their balance, they see where they've spent it.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: We actually talk through remorse.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like they're like, Man, I wish I hadn't have bought XYZ at Target.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't I can't even find that toy anymore.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: That wasn't worth it.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I want to remember that next they're talking.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: We're having all these conversations, and I'm like, Yes, because they can see how they spent their money, and there's like this retroactive learning of was it worth it?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so, anyways, Wesley has no money.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: Rosie's like, I'll uh if we buy ice cream, uh, or if I buy my own, can I buy it?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: And was like, no, because that'll be really sad for Wesley.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, But you know, the ice cream truck will come around again and maybe next week or something.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then she was like, What if I buy Wesley's?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, Yeah, if you want to buy Wesley's, you don't have to.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: But, anyways, they have actually, because of their money and realizing one doesn't, they all have like a pulse on how much each of them have, and they're actually so much more generous with this flow because of the app.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and even collectively raising for that Nintendo Switch a couple years ago.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that was really cool.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then the mother's helper, like I said, was kind of morphed out of the baby pool party, wanting them to learn service, learning, wanting them to learn to be thoughtful for younger people, like you know, kids younger than them, wanting them to learn how to play with littles, and they are actually so good.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's cool because one of my favorite things about habits is when it's actually simpler and fun to cultivate some culture pieces that I thought would be just laborious.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I think some of it is doing almost like getting the reps in when it's not just service for your family or for your brother.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's harder, but having them low-key serve when we had the baby pool party and then translating to being mother's helper, it's easier for them to serve outside of the house.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then we get to kind of like upgrade or remind them or pull that into the house too.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: But starting with your siblings, uh, y'all, that is harder than hey, let's have a host a baby pool party, and you get to help me host is so much easier.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's the hopeful part for you.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: If there's something in your culture, like your family culture, you want to teach new kids character this summer, you could actually choose something fun.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then even again, here the pro tip of using other people's kids or external people or parties to cultivate character.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think sometimes we just think blood, sweat, and tears the hardest part.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, no, go make it offensively small and then upgrade.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Just I actually a lot of the same principles.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: I just finished my habit mastery class the 10-week, and they are the exact same principles that I use when I set up my kids' summer and specifically their their chores, which I'll talk to in a bit.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: The same idea of offensively small, celebrate the win, be grateful.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's like what you um verbally encourage the mastering the art of showing up.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: James Clear has this great, great line of you have to first standardize before you optimize.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of us thinking about shaping your kids' character, be like, okay, we're gonna standardize and optimize at the same point.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's way harder.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: So the example of this with the kids would be standardizing was we like babies.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: We like people outside of our age demographic.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that was a baby pool party, which is which involved popsicles and cute babies, which is so different than we serve our brothers, you know, like our tiny little brother who loves stealing, coming in your room, and trashing your craft.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: That is that's standardizing and optimizing.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's like three steps deep into character development.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: So remember, you can start offensively small with character things, it could be fun.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: And the pro tip of using other people where it is easier than sometimes with each other.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then again, you upgrade.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: But making the starting step like a win and and easy to take roots is huge.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's move on to chores.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, fun fact, I made I've been thinking about making putting how I develop kids' chores for our house because I use all the behavior principles that I do for adult habit lab.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: I've just used, I almost think of like the kids' chores like kids' habits, like the morning routine and the um the different chores they help around the house.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I just made, I called it kids' chores starter kit.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's literally one 30-minute video.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was trying to make it offensively small.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: Even my summer class is like three lessons, four videos, six worksheets.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, nope, we're gonna make this so small and bite-sized so it's doable.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that that is actually live.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: It is one worksheet.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: I gave you three different examples.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's a less than 30-minute video, but every summer, in addition to like a character thing, I upgrade our kids' chores.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like five years deep, started here, upgrade to here, upgrade to here, upgrade to here.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: Again, using the margin and extra room of summer.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a game changer today.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: After we got home from grocery shopping, my kids went on automatic mode and they literally, because they knew what what day the chore was, we do like theme days, which I explain in my little easy, I keep forgetting what it's called, kids chore starter kit.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: I explain um how I do the theme day.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: They like literally after we unloaded the car, I came back in for the last load, and the my Audrey had the vacuum out.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Rosie was like, which rooms do I have to sweep again?
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Does it include this?
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: And Wesley was getting the mop bucket out, and I was like, Yes, thank you, Jesus.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: So many years in the making, and this is like um self-motivation.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, I almost think of um actually one of the things I say in my chores, that little offensively small 30-minute video I made, put together, is that a lot of us don't realize how much the invisible load that we have running our house is because we haven't taken it out of our brains and automated it so that it can run by itself and they have to check in with us or we have to do the reminder.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: So that's probably been one of the biggest takeaways is actually making a system so that they can do it on their own versus having to come to meet and making it an honest, small, appropriate to their skill level.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is how we this is how we run with it.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: But chores has been such a game changer for me to feel helped.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Even even some of like the goal with chores, especially if you're doing offensively small starter steps, is not efficiency.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's mastering the artist showing up, and then I give them feedback.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: They've in the course I talk about how many weeks I just say, thank you so much.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: That was so helpful before I give them a ton of like feedback.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: I let them feel really successful and proud of mopping before I'm gonna point out how Wesley missed pretty much all of the trash can area today.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: But instead, I was like, oh my gosh, thank you so much.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: And you even like, I think you moved the chairs and did some things.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you are so helpful.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I was gonna say though, outside of them like learning chores, what has shifted in the family culture, which was part of my um goal, is in the celebrating their contribution and not giving them a ton of feedback off the bat.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: I talk about, I I link it back to why this matters.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, you know, mom would have had to do that by herself.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: And now mom gets to play because you you did the floors for me.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, thank you so much.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm just gonna go, like, let's sit down and you know, play that game.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: Or I think we played Connect Fours or something.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: So them correlating, you're not slave labor, you're not doing something beyond what you can carry, and like you are actually helping take something off of mom's load, and now as a family, we can have more connection time because you shared the load.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's huge.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other thing, the other fruit of them doing chores is um they self-manage, like if they spill something, Wesley, I just swept there.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, come on, buddy, you gotta be more careful.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's I like I've only I swept 30 minutes ago, and I'm like, oh my gosh, it's not just me.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not the only voice of reason because a lot of times us moms can feel like the house police, but actually, when they have contribution and they have buy-in, the invisible load decreases not only because it's not up to me, there's like a system up and running, which I explained in my starter kit for chores, but also um there's this culture of we're all managing and maintaining this so we care when it it gets diminished.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what I'm not saying unrealistic is that they're all perfect now, but it's a way that increases their awareness without me nagging, which is the goal.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like their own awareness of when that happens, that uh impacts the work I just did.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then I I think I've said it before, but Audrey will come over and be like, hey, thanks for working so hard, mom.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate like she her awareness of the weight I'm pulling increases when they have to pull a little bit more.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_00: And each summer I upgrade a smidge of what they're doing.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, let's go back to so that's that'd be an example of what we're changing this summer, is we're upgrading chores again, like we do every year strategically.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: And go ahead and click the link in the if you'd like to have a chore starter kit that uses the same habit principles that's offensively small for you to manage, but would also help decrease your mental load that the mom usually carries.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, another thing that didn't go as well last year is I had too many coaching hours and my kids were unsupervised downstairs.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: There were fights, there was, it was just not awesome.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I uh prayed and I was talking to the Lord as I was doing my summer course, which that's part of the point isn't to just build something that I think's wise, but I start by asking the Lord like what he's doing and what he wants to, what he wants to build on our summer, and I had felt like being more present and scaling back from coaching.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I, this is the coolest financial testimony.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was felt like he like last year I averaged like 15 to 18 coachings a week, which is 15 to 18 hours at least upstairs away, you know, while the kids are managing themselves downstairs for better or for worse.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways, and I felt like I was supposed to scale back to eight, which is like dramatic.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's like half, that's like almost half an income split.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, okay, well, Lord, I guess I'm gonna be.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think my tagline was gonna be, I'm gonna be present but poor, you know, it's fine.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I was telling Audrey about it at night.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: We always uh connect in her bed and we have chats and I tell her, you know, maybe more age-appropriate things without the littles where we debrief about our day.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, I don't like the poor part, mom.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really know that that God does either.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it was funny because she was being lighthearted, but I felt convicted from the Lord of like, yeah, the poor was not part of what I was telling you.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: I did say scale back, but um, if you guys know, I think last year I had an episode where I talked about some of um, I think it's like from hustle to trust, rethinking my habits about like my habits and thoughts around provision from the Lord.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: So he's already been doing that, and part of it was this idea that I don't have to earn every dollar I get.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's an employee mindset.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas a daughter, um, I just felt like the Lord was, instead of assuming you're gonna be be poor this summer, if I asked you to scale back your hours and you're obedient in doing that, why wouldn't you invite me into the deficit?
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: Is what I felt like I heard him say.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh, okay.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, yes, come.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: I would also rather not have my tagline be present and poor this summer.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: And uh fast forward a couple days later, someone came up with a just uh out of the blue business opportunity that is gonna be only it was only sweat equity on our part.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: They already had it was like something that had been paused a couple years.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: They just want to close it and get it done and get their profit back.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: So they're willing to let go more that you know, split it 50 50 at this point because.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: There across the country couldn't do it, and we manually can in the sweat equity.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: And when we were looking at the profit that we'll probably talk take away from this, it was literally two days after y'all.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: I like I said, my adjustment was less coaching hours.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: That was one of the things I wanted to adjust to adjust from 2025.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt like the Lord said, you know, invite me into the deficit within two days, this little business opportunity popped up and it's gonna cover my deficit for my coaching hours.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like I feel, I feel teary now.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, wow, Lord, like you are so good.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: But I think the awareness for me is if I hadn't sat and intentionally shifted my summer and asked him what he was doing, I would have probably gone on autopilot for what I did last year or what people booked.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like whatever people booked is what I would do, you know?
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I would have felt the same tension of wishing I was downstairs with my kids more than up in my room.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: And or maybe I would have heard him, maybe I would have, you know, noticed, and but I wouldn't have noticed the, hey, don't just be poor.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't you invite me to the deficit?
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's just the difference of shifting our seasons intentionally.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: Then when I we got this random business opportunity, it wasn't just how random, it was like, wow, that's an answer to prayer.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of times we miss it when we're not aware of what he's doing and then partnering with what he's doing, something that was like a meant to answer to be an answer to prayer.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: If we're not that almost like in the details and it a constant conversation with him about what he's doing, what he wants us to know, how he wants to partner with us, we miss those things as answers to prayer because we maybe aren't even in tune with the prayers we should be praying.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I, yeah, it just was so kind for the Lord.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I told you guys in another episode too.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then we got or the day before that, we got a letter from our mortgage company saying it was dropping our PMI randomly.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: We hadn't actually hit the metrics to to have that happen, but they said, hey, you've been a great employee, or sorry, great, what's the word, customer for this many years.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: We want to do this to honor the relationship.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: Let us know if you want to keep paying, otherwise it'll stop June 1st.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: So that was it.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's what I love about doing even the intentionality with the summer course.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people think like, type A, do more when build your summer, or like when you're thinking about your summer.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, no, actually, just intentional because I don't want to be on a hamster wheel of hustle, nor do I want to burn it all down because I'm in burnout and do nothing.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I actually want to notice, I gotta make a rhythm of pausing and asking the Lord what he's doing so I can partner with my kids, I can partner in my marriage, I can partner in my business.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think sometimes we just go on autopilot and we wait until there's a pain point, or like we get one big word versus this like conversation.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: It reminds me of like if you in a marriage didn't daily chat with your spouse, like multiple times a day about what he's doing, what he wants, what are we doing, what do we want, what's working, what's not working.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like that just casually happens all day, but we don't necessarily consider that much conversational with the Lord.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: We almost use prophetic, you know, as these big milestones versus like a relational God who wants to be in all the details and is talking and is active, but if we're not listening or taking the time to pause to hear or be with him, we actually sometimes miss these moments where he's showing up for us, you know, or he's wanting to course correct and we could totally miss it, you know.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, what else was I gonna say?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: So that was one less coaching hours and oh, the last one of the well, one other big one is our kids this January after Christmas break, we were like our mornings getting ready to school were painful and they'd usually be teary, all the things.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: So we realized, okay, we need to put some more structure and habits and be really clear about what we're doing in the morning and giving the kids back more responsibility.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: So we had them start to make their lunch where it was kind of a combo melombo of help in the past.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: This was on them, and it was it was mid-level successful, mostly because of the urgency of the time frame.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that's another conversation for another time.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: So when we were going into the summer, I realized like I actually want to develop their skill of making their own lunches and even like thinking ahead of what they need and thinking ahead of we need a protein, like what is quote unquote a good meal or what what helps to nourish your body without the urgency of time.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted them to have like a service moment with their siblings.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of just making their own meal, which is a skill set I want, I was like, it would be so easy for them to make the meal for everybody.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: So what I came away with, which is actually part um this kids chore starter kit, really cheap option.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: I can't remember if it's I think it's$17.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's real cheap.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: I actually added that as a bonus.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my little meal planning is just a simple kid week thing.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: And what I did was I broke it down to they have to have a protein, um, a veggie or a fruit and a side.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I I wrote down all five days of the week, but they only have to choose one day that they are making the meal, the lunch for the siblings.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: And we're on week one for us over here, but because we had kind of already been doing it through the school year, it's more of just an edit than it is a brand new habit.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a pivot.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and the kids so liked it.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: So what I'm trying to do, so again, when I think of a habit or like a character thing that I'm trying to develop in our culture, to me, yes, there's the behavior, but then there's also like all the ripple effects of why it'd be helpful for them to learn it.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I think the mistake we make a lot, which I say this in my chore kit, is like we assume once their age or ability matches that they'll have the skill set, but we actually have to grow the skill with their ability so that then when they are 12, a lot of times as parents, I mean, I hear it all the time, like, you should be able to do this by now, but we never trained them.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, I have this super deep awareness as I've reparented myself on my own habit journey in the last, you know, five or six years, like, oh, I actually want to be really patient and diligent to train my kids each year, systematically upgrade as their ability trains so that they don't just think, why aren't you making your own lunch?
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: You should know how to cook.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, I actually want to have done the training slowly where it doesn't break connection, where it's not urgent, where there's not a shame or contempt that they're not there yet, that when they are 15 or 16, that they can make full meals for the family, full meals for the family.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, anyways, it's gone well.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: You're you're gonna laugh when you see if you get the shore starter kit.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Wesley, Wesley's choices and Audrey was a little sassy with what she's gonna make for her siblings versus herself.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: But um, they've all made it and it's actually so fun.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: They've really, really enjoyed it.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so, sorry, what I was trying to get back to is the reasons we're doing that.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: One, again, I think this the skill will then translate to them having better um this muscle memory for when they're doing school lunches with the urgency.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like they're gonna practice a bunch during the summer where they're multiplying it for three kiddos.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: There's gonna be a service component with the pair uh with um serving each other.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then what I love is I actually want to be there to parent the moments when Audrey doesn't like what Wesley says and whether she's kind on some days or rude, then Wesley's feelings get hurt.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: I want to parent that because eventually I'm gonna connect the dots.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: Was like, hey, buddy, like not in the moment, I'm gonna be wise, but I'll circle back and be like, that's what mom feels sometimes when I make meals and the reaction is, oh, why would you make this or whatever it is?
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: The idea of felt being in my shoes by feeling it versus me trying to, with my words, explain the feeling or get empathy from them.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be the lesson will hit so much deeper.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then two, I like them being aware of having to serve.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then um, even this week though, they were so cute and encouraging when Wesley plated up all their food.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, it looks so good, buddy.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: You're such a good chef.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: It was so cute.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: So it's this like buy-in moment.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: So that's one part of it.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_00: Then the next part of why I'm doing this meal prep is because I want them to think ahead and see what they need.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I do meal pre uh menu planning on a regular basis.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: So what I'm gonna do is add this habit of inviting the kids into like their little bit while I'm doing it.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna get them to think ahead what they need and then check the pantry or the fridge to see if what they're gonna make is in there.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: And if not, I they'll let me know and I'll add it to our grocery so that it gets delivered on Sunday.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then um, because I want them to think not only what makes a good meal, but then how do you menu prep, quote unquote.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then also how do you then have a grocery habit to check your ingredients?
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel very excited, and obviously service and all the things.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, that's on that's on the menu and they're or that's on the fridge.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's just real simple and they're really excited.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, the other thing, big adjustment is if you know from last year, actually, this is the fourth year, I have one of those really simple wall count, like um daily flow.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's like$12.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'll make sure I link that in the show notes too.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's like if you go to a preschool room and it says like put backpacks away, 9 a.m.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_00: 9 a.m., 9.15 carpet time, 9.30 weather check, you know, 10 o'clock drawing, and it has just it listed in a row.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, or some people maybe have it on a bulletin or a whiteboard, they just write the flow for the day.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: Ma, we have had that chart in our house and we just put it up for the summer over the years.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: That has been one of our edits, is it's un it's unnecessary during the school year because they only have a few hours after school that, but they're, you know, a bulk of their hours at school stay the same.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not needed in the the school year, but in the summer it's so helpful.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: And um, what I was gonna say is initially when I had it, what my edits have been is that like I had and we'll do crafts and we'll do card games, and then I put all the times.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what I've done is last year they felt um specifically Audrey, the littles like it because they actually do get a little paralyzed and they're like, what should we do?
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: What could we do?
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, we know we don't, it's not screens aren't an option.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, I forget that we have card games or crafts, or we could go outside, or we can, you know, invite the neighbor over to you know bike across the street, or we can, you know, swim or whatever it is.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: They get a little analysis paralysis or decision paralysis.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so that was helpful then, but Audrey felt really controlled and kind of smothered by it.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I kept on being like, you don't have to, it's just ideas.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_00: So what I did this time is I actually um one, if we have free time and I have some ideas like that because it's still helpful for the littles, I'll put it up there, but there's no times with it.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna move them to the next thing.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: There's no Alexa alerts.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: But what I do have is we kind of do something in the morning and something in the afternoon.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_00: So whether it's an errand, not necessarily like something fun.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this afternoon we had to go get Aaron uh glasses.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: He went to, he's gonna get glasses.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you can check on my Instagram.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: I think I posted a picture.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna look such, he's gonna look like a major health librarian vibes, you know?
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: Uh anyways, but what I do, so I'll post that and then we usually at least have some fun, something, whether it's everybody or somebody.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: What I found instead of actually managing our day, it's just this flow where the kids feel confident, they're like not anxiety, but like their need to control or feel like there's a power vacuum or or what can I do is decrease because they know it's happening.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the other edits, so like I said, don't put the times as much in the morning for when it's free flow that they can choose.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_00: And Audrey knows, and I have the conversation.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: The littles actually often follow it because they're like, Yeah, let's do card games.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but uh they like to know, like, okay, so I have to be ready, or like yesterday we had a Bible study at our house, and I put clean up the house at three, and the Bible study was at five.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: So when I transitioned, and we had, I don't remember what we were doing before, what fun thing we were doing, to then cleaning the house, I don't get as much resistance or kickback because they've been, they know it's been coming and it's been in their brain since like 8 a.m.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: So that has been hugely helpful.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: So there's no longer a power vacuum, they're not surprised, they feel in the know, they feel in control.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_00: It feels like a collaboration versus like this is mom's idea for the day.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it's been so helpful.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then Audrey, I actually, if one of the kids wakes up or they have a question, they're like, hey, do we have to do that or who did this order?
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, yeah, sure.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: If it's something that's flexible, I let them edit because I want them to feel like this is generally what our family's gonna do today versus mom is type A and a drill sergeant.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: So that's been really helpful.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I even let them, if they um, there's been a couple times that Audrey's like, I think that should be a permanent thing.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, because if it's not a permanent, we have some things that we've sharpied on because they happen every week, and other things that are one off will just use an expo, so it can be dry erased.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been fun because when I found again, going back to the collaboration versus mom control, when it feels collaborative, the kids like it and they feel like there's like a buy-in or it's a culture versus mom controlling us.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, Audrey got to add some things, and then Wesley got to add a permanent thing that we could do, and then they'll reorder, like, hey, instead, can we go to the YMCA in the morning?
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'd rather do crafts in the afternoon.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, sure.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_00: So it's been this fun, like as they've gotten older, that has been my shift this year, is to be more inclusive to them, to ask them what they want, to not put times when there aren't harsh times.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then even it's funny, but writing it every night helps them remember, oh yeah, my morning, my morning jobs are the same.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's them.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what's the chore again?
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, who's even with like lunch now because we're doing the rotating, like they're making, you know, they're chain a different kiddo is making lunch every day.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_00: I write whose lunch responsibility is.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I had three versions, so I can just alternate.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_00: And like again, all of it is so that mom's mental load is not, I'm not the information house that is movie when everyone the other day, actually, I went out and they're all in the car waiting for me because they knew.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh, the magic of a constructor schedule.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, not to control, but to collaborate and communicate.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_00: So we all feel like we're on the same page.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I was trying to think of anything else.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, the last thing I was gonna say that has been super helpful is that if there is a goal, like that lunch menu, Audrey actually designed it.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_00: Or, like I said, when the kids were wanting to do Mother's Helper, they I can't remember if they did or I suggested, but they made their own business cards.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: My kids love Canva, which if okay, any ladies of who went to elementary school in 1990, you, if you were like me, you loved Publisher, and you were like Publisher was your jam, and you'd make invitations or whatever on Publisher.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: Canva is like my kids' publisher.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_00: So what I've done, again, with this idea of inviting into them them into the setup so they feel ownership versus controlled.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've got them with the lunch thing when I explained it and I pitch it and say what it could look like and say how mom already does it.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_00: I then ask Audrey, like, hey, would you actually design me a chart and I tell her what it looks like?
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I sketch on a piece of paper.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then she spends like an hour or two, because she loves it for a spurned daughter.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, Rosie does too, and she makes this awesome chart where then she has ownership for the lunch, the lunch habit this year because she built the chart and she spent two hours like prepping and has buy-in.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: This has been the biggest hack, y'all.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then let's see, what's another example?
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, she did in January when we were really dialing their morning routines for school, she did that chart.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Wesley, one of his summer habits, is reading out loud by himself more.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_00: He's been reading with us, but we want him to just be okay practicing good enough by himself.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_00: So we're incentivizing him.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: If anything's like hard enough, we'll do a one-off habit tracker.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, let's see, uh Wesley, when he was potty training, we did one when Rosie, we had some things at school that we were trying to uh actually, that's a little too personal, so I can't say it.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_00: But for uh gave Rosie, if you did this for 30 days and we track it, you could get this.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think it was a$10 clear shopping, shopping thing.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it was big emotional conversation that it was so cool.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_00: It took her about two months, and then she did it, and it was like so exciting, and she tracked it every day.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_00: So Wesley's reading out loud, he has to.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Audrey, make me 10-minute boxes, make them 20.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_00: Say this is Res Wesley's reading chart, and she um sure enough, she did on Canva.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd say that would be my hack is if you have kids who at least have a bit of literacy on computers.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_00: Our rules for screens, like if they're using a laptop or something that has internet access, is they have to do it downstairs where an adult can see your screen.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so she was doing it, I think either at a dining room table or a kitchen counter.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, but anyways, she feels so excited and she designed it so special.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: So now when it's working, she's actually helped him like, hey bud, have you done your 10 minutes yet?
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: And we went to the library and she helped him pick out good books for.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's like it's feels like such a hack in inviting them into building the habit or structure versus just giving them the habit.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'd say that's probably the biggest shift this year in 2026, as Audrey is like almost 13, instead of the things that worked when she was little, now needing more collaboration and buy-in.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a we versus mom telling me that has been that's been huge, but it's been so helpful, which is really cool.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was thinking anything else.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_00: The week overview.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and lastly, um, because I since we're doing the lunch thing, I'm one of my time management habits, which I'll run my time management for type B people in the fall again, is that I do a weekly overview of my week on Sunday, and I confirm all my stuff and make sure I have the groceries needed or supplies for parties or hosting things, whatever.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_00: So um I'm inviting the kids in and I got like a dollar tree.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_00: There's like a really cheap, simple pad for planning your week.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I had them because they're already gonna, that's when we're doing the menu and they're choosing what they're gonna make for their lunch, checking the pantry for ingredients and telling me what I need to order.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, just having them write it out, and it's been the things just for them.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_00: So Wesley put his little playdate with his friend yesterday, and then we're going camping with his friend this weekend, and then they went to see a movie with dad.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_00: So him practicing writing, but we're all doing it together of like, oh, these are the things that I want them to slowly grow their ability so that when they're 20, it doesn't feel like I've never done this and everything's chaotic.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh no, now I like I had it when it was fun and it was low stakes, and now I know how to manage my life in a way that supports my core values and fun, not just I don't know, constrictive, if that makes sense.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: So that was one of the other um shifts this summer is we're gonna have the kiddos uh write what's on their week, like what's the fun thing for their week, because I forgot this.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad I remember that this to bring this up, because we will get some kickback.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: That was one of the things I really wanted to work on, is they'll be like, I don't want to go to so-and-so's house, or why are we going to lake with that family?
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's Rosie's friends.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: So part of me, one where when they're each writing out their week, is I'm pointing out, like, okay, so Wesley, you have like two things, and Rosie, you have two things, and Audrey has two things.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so at in a family, we each have some things, but it doesn't mean everything we do is gonna be your favorite.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_00: So when we go to see that movie, Wesley, like those are with your buddies, and it's kind of a younger movie than Audrey.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she's getting to go to the movie, but that's more of a Wesley thing.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_00: So then when we're going to the lake with all of Audrey's 12 and 13-year-old girlfriends, it's not gonna be your favorite thing.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_00: But we already had something that was your choice, so it's almost like your choices.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_00: Then when something isn't your favorite, an awareness of in the big picture, there is a like an overall fairness, even if every day isn't equal, is kind of what I try to tell teach the kids.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm really hoping that this will visually remind them every day might not be their favorite, but we do consider them as a whole in the family when we're doing our planning.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_00: And they actually really love it.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_00: Rosie got like a whiteboard one as well for her room because she's kind of more my natural planner.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_00: And um, oh, I was gonna tell you one other thing.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_00: I should put these this link in the show notes.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_00: But because Audrey makes these little charts for us, they're habit trackers, we got their self-laminating, which is kind of a funny phrase.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: They're just like big plastic stickers, if you will, um, to cover the charts.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_00: So they're like$5.99 for$24, super cheap on Amazon.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_00: But when she makes these charts, whether the Breakfast One or Wesley's Reading or whatever it is, we'll do that.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: So then we can expo mark her.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_00: And the kids love using expo with different things.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_00: So again, making it the art of the or they're mastering the art of showing up.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_00: They're not elaborate calendars, and they're way fun because they're way more interested in coloring the calendar and making it pretty.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_00: And Rosie uses a different color per day, even though she only has two things on her week, no problem.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm like, oh, I want them to have this muscle memory because I don't want them to have to jump into um skills at 25 that aren't even there.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so I'm like, I'm cultivating things now that will upgrade as their ability and their life progresses.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_00: So those little self-laminating, I don't even know what's I think they're just called self-laminating pages, are awesome because they love taking the chores instead of buying someone else's chore pad on Amazon.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_00: Audrey, you know, or habit tracker, she loves making her own again because I said increase the ownership.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then we use these self-laminating packages so that they can she can mark off and if repeated use.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_00: So fails from last year, because I didn't think about Audrey being so much older, and the things that worked when she was younger feel controlling and stifling versus helpful.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_00: So the shift is collaborating more in our day and our week, um, having the lunch so that they have some skills on meal prepping and menu planning and grocery shopping when there's not the urgency in the morning, and then um the chores, the chores upgrade.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want that starter kit for chores, again, it's under 20 bucks.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_00: The links in my show notes, and I hope it's super helpful and simple.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_00: The goal is simple.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's why it's called a starter kit.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_00: It is not the fullness, it is not going to, you know, decrease your workload as a mom by half.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's just taking all the habit principles that I utilize in my habit mastery and applying them the thought process, the mindsets, and even the strategy for where to start with your kiddos.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_00: So it feels like success and helping them master the art of showing up at whatever age they're at.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, guys, I hope you have a fabulous summer.