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“What Dear Mama Meant To Her…” · Building 341

• Caddey B: What's up y'all, building 341. It's Caddy B, DJ Roban. We're doing a little different today. I'm do little intro and then we're gonna go into this Mother's Day thing. DJ Rubbaban: Yup yup. We gonna do it. Today's Mother's Day, you guys, worldwide and nationally. And I always kind of ponder what Mother's Day is and what it means and the meanings to it. I was kind of raised by a village. So for me, that means so much more in so many different things. So we want to give a shout out to my bio and keep it in the music theme. ⁓ she loved Mays and Frankie Beverly. She loved James Taylor. loved, ⁓ the Isley brothers, all that Motown. just that. And shout to, ⁓ Katty B's mom. She loved Jolene. She loved, she loved. ⁓ ⁓ she hip hop too. ⁓ She loved hip too. ⁓ Caddey B: Mom's loved a little bit of everything. She actually She did she stole my she stole my life cassette or my life CD Yeah DJ Rubbaban: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had a lot of women in your life that was feeling life, but I ain't trying to start no controversy right now. I gotta jazz you up a little bit. I gotta give a shout out to just all the women out there that are mothers and not necessarily biological, just mothers, women that give. You know what mean? Caddey B: That's life. Yeah, there's some nurturing women that just, you know, aren't mothers, but they still take care of people. You know? DJ Rubbaban: Yeah, I want you guys to hit us up in the comments. What's your favorite Mother's Day song? What's your favorite Mother's Day song? I'm gonna tell this story, but I want you to put in the comments, like, subscribe, shout us out, let us know what you want to hear, but put in the comments your favorite Mother's Day song. And I'm gonna tell the story and at the end of this story, I'm gonna say that person's favorite. Mother's Day song and I don't even particularly like this song even though I love this artist. So the beginning of the story, I'm gonna set this story up. I worked as a therapist years and years years years years, retired years and years and years. And I was doing multiple jobs, different things in the game, music all over and which probably helped me. Caddey B: Do you? DJ Rubbaban: be a better what I was professionally. So I had this case and basically ⁓ this particular client was schizophrenic. had four children. Man, if it was a bad thing that to her, happened to anybody, happened to her. She she struggled her own mental health. you know, just bad patterns and the things that she did. So all her kids were in the system. And yeah, which was probably, you know, the kids to kind of. Caddey B: And this was probably in a time when, well I mean for her to have schizophrenia back, you know, even 10 years ago, you weren't getting as much help as you were, as you would now. DJ Rubbaban: Right. Yeah, because you're not getting as much help now. I mean, maybe, maybe probably not. ⁓ So she had a therapist, which was me. She had multiple therapists. had a social worker. She had a probation officer. She had a lot of people ⁓ holding her accountable for these four children. And she struggled, you guys. struggled. She struggled. She struggled. So she would come and see me ⁓ and And I know, and she was an addict too. And so knew when she was cycling through her mental illness, I knew when she had been using, ⁓ prostituted, all that. So she would come see me on Tuesdays. I remember it was Tuesdays ⁓ she would come in and they would say, my would go, she's here, she's here. I was like, all right, all right. So she'd come back and I would keep it really light. and she obsessed on things and she loved her kids and she worried about each kid and each kid's own personalities I really just had to, I worked with her and she got better, she got clean, ⁓ stopped dealing with unhealthy men and unhealthy women, all that and so it just, and then she got into a program for women and it just, she blossomed and blossomed and she would always give her kids dream catchers. It's the Native American kind of thing. She would give them dream catchers. one of her obsesses, she would move her hands around. So making dream catchers kind of was soothing to her in different things. And so her kids was in the system for a while. It was a long, and so she had different ages. So they didn't really want dream catchers. Caddey B: I'll be in here. DJ Rubbaban: that much like that. They hey, mom. And you know, the visits got better eventually, and the visits got better. The kids were in therapy. Sometimes I would meet with the kids with her. It really got better. So this was coming kind of close to almost to where she was graduating the program. And she was doing well. They was going to get an apartment. All this stuff was beautiful. she to me, and she was like, I don't know if I can do it. Every mother I seen ain't a good mother. So how do I know how to be a good mother? Because every mother I know or seen ain't a good mother. And I have four with four different personalities. And I was like, you got to believe in yourself. You got to create that narrative. Caddey B: True. DJ Rubbaban: You gotta create that narrative. You know, we were just, and so she's crying and I'm just looking at her in her eye and I'm thinking about this because it's Mother's Day. Because we, when we say mothers, we just go, oh, they hugging you, they sweet, oh, oh. I didn't grow up with that. I didn't get that. know what I mean? And people always say, well, your parents, anyway. So we end the session and she broke down. I said, you done? So what are we gonna do? What's the plan? Caddey B: You ⁓ goody. DJ Rubbaban: And she know, got on the board, wrote it down. I had to write it down. I had to put it on her phone, all that. So it came down to it was Christmas. she was getting anxiety because she had no money and she wanted to give her kids, you know, gifts. So she found this kind of string and these feathers because again, she made dream catchers and she would tell the kids what dream catchers meant and how it meant to her ⁓ dream catchers. didn't know so much about Dreamcatchers until I had this particular client. And was just a delight. And so, you know, I would have food for her sometimes when she would come or, you know, give her resources and this and this. Never had an email, sat her down, got her an email, had to get another email, ⁓ you know, stuff. So it came down to maybe two weeks before Caddey B: You Mm-hmm. DJ Rubbaban: Christmas and when you in social services, depending on your social worker and the fund, they give you, they give your kids toys. They do various things. It's a budget for that. And even for us, even in mental health, it's a budget sometimes, on the funding. So it was no money for nothing. And she has this fabric and she's making her kids dream catchers. And I knew the kids, the kids are growing, you know, I knew the kids, all the kids. So one day I'm coming home. Caddey B: Yeah. Yeah. DJ Rubbaban: And that this song that I don't really like, Dear Mama by Tupac comes on. And I'm like, people really like this song. It's a high. This ain't his best song. It's a high. It's a high. And surprisingly, my mother loved that song. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It ain't really all like, ah, man, turn that. So I get home and I'm like, I gotta go get, I'ma go get this one, this one. I'ma go get this one, this one. I'ma go get this one, this one. And it's just, I'ma give them that. Caddey B: ⁓ I feel the same way, but you DJ Rubbaban: And nothing too, too big, but what they wanted, kind of. What I knew them. I knew the kids, well. So she comes like maybe a week and a half left, she comes to session. And she has the dream catchers and all that. And she's talking and she love that song, Dear Mama. And you know, even though you was a crack fiend mama, you always was a black queen mama. know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Caddey B: Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. DJ Rubbaban: So we go over, I go, so how are you gonna, you're gonna meet with them all together? You're gonna meet with the two older ones? You know, we going through all that in this session, so to speak. she takes out the dream catchers with the new, with the feather, with all the stuff and this and that, cause this isn't in her mind and how she process, this is part of who she is. And I said, what if we kinda, you can give them this. Caddey B: Yeah, yeah. DJ Rubbaban: but what if we can give them another gift? And we got some stuff together for the program. And it was really me. we want to give them this. And I took pictures of it and I was like, ⁓ wrapped it already, everything. Your name is on it and they're gonna be from you. And I showed her the pictures. And Caddy, she sat there and cried like a soft, she just once got to crying, because she know our routine, go, so, so tell me how you feel. And we go through all that and I go, you know, you doing better. So better things are happening to you ⁓ and these to your kids. So we go through all that. ⁓ She She's happy. She tells her story again. We go all that. said, so you ready? Because one thing that happens when women sometimes men too, but in these situations, they, Caddey B: Yeah. DJ Rubbaban: They feel lesser than when they're within the system. You know, when the social worker's sitting there and the probation officer's sitting there, people judging them, somebody from their family to support them, they feel judged. So they have to get ready to go into this circle. And this is Mother's Day, and I'm sorry to go. And I say, you ready? ⁓ can do this. You're gonna be doing this for the rest of you. A mother. What being a mother means to you. So we go into the meeting. I give her the bag with the stuff in there. Caddey B: ⁓ yeah, that's all people. do. DJ Rubbaban: And so we had the meeting before we all, know, and so she has the bag and so she has, I had the stuff for my children and da da da da da da da da da. And so they go in another room and basically you watch them through a, through a whole, through a glass, like you watch them. So she goes through and she pulls out the toys and they're hugging her and squeezing her and crying and all of them are crying and. Caddey B: Yeah, yeah. DJ Rubbaban: Da da da da da da. And it was just such a, for me, giving back mother-wise and then seeing this growth and kinda, even me, the one that's like, I'm her counselor, and this is a good thing about good therapy sometimes when you're dealing with clients, you can learn from clients too. And what a mother is, experience what a mother, she got her kids back eventually. graduated from the program. She got her a little two-bedroom apartment that the system got for her. She kept it. She got a job. She's doing well. You know what mean? She's doing well. And so you just look at that, you know? And every once in a while, you know, a little bit after that, she will go, well, I'll buy some alcohol, and I just sit it in my cabinet. I was like, you... Caddey B: do. DJ Rubbaban: Well, I'll get some weed and I just, I just, I just light it and I just sit it there. Caddey B: playing with yourself. DJ Rubbaban: Yeah, but she loved Tupac, Dear Mama. And she loved that and the meaning of that song, Building 341 and what that meant to her. She got all four kids back. They all doing good. You know what I mean? Man, just blessings to her and her family and all that. And just redefining what being a mama is. And in the comments, say something, you know, let us know. Holler at us. You know, let us know you got some queens out there. Cause it's a lot of queens out there. It is. It's a lot of queens out there. You know, I know a lot. I know somebody would fold good baby mamas. And they ain't even cool. So B, how you feeling? How you feeling, Katty? You light skinned me. You blast me. You light skinned it. Yeah, you know, you know. So holler at us, shout us out. Caddey B: ⁓ yeah, definitely. You I'm good, good. Being like scammed means you get it from both sides. DJ Rubbaban: Holler at us, shout us out, comment, subscribe, all that. Let us know your Mother's Day stories in the comments. You know what mean? Let us know your Mother's Day story. Caddey B: Definitely. Let us know everything. DJ Rubbaban: Peace out.