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An Unlikely Affair: Taking My Power Back · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hi, Amber.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Hi, Lala.
• 0:03
  Speaker 3: Welcome to An Unlikely Affair.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of An Unlikely Affair.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Good morning, Lala.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: Good morning, Amber.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: I love it. I called you Lala instead of La.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: I usually call you La, but I decided to give
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: you your full name.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: My full name.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Your full name, which is not just.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: The name's so nice, she got to say it twice.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: The amount of times I've been called Lola over the weekend.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: Is not okay.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's actually not. That's offensive.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: Because then I continue, la, la, la, la, Lola. Because
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: that's who I am. I'm a jingle maker in my head.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Every time someone says anything that's a song, I'm like, fuck,
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: now it's in my head.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: I can't get rid of it.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: I don't know that song, Lola.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: Did I just make it up? I don't think I
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: made it up.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Maybe not.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: No, probably not. I'm really excited about this episode because
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: I think there's a lot of people out there who
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: have teenagers or little toddlers and they're in the thick
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: of it. And I don't think women, fine, and men too,
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: but mostly women, they don't get enough credit for our
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: own emotional journey that we go through while we're parenting.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Not at all.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: And I want to talk about it. I want to
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: talk about it too. And I love this topic.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: If it's not men, it's children.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: I'd rather deal with the children, to be honest.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: I agree.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: 100%. Because the way my five-year-old communicates is on such
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: a different level than most of the men that I date.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I'm like, she's so emotionally intelligent. Here's what I'm struggling
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: with the most right now with Ocean. Talk to me.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: It's a blessing and a curse. So she will verbally
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: waterboard you until she gets what she wants. Okay? Okay.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: And that's similar to our ex. Like we wonder how.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: It's learned. It's learned behavior.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: I don't know if it's learned or if she just
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: came this way.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: And I don't really want to quiet it because if
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: she continues this in the real world when she's older,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: she's going to get the job done. And she's going
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: to have everything that she's ever wanted because people will
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: just say yes. The person who gives you the fucking
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: headache is the one you give in to. I was
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: having a conversation yesterday. with someone the other day who
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: is in the industry. And he said, more times than not,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: I give people who give me a fucking migraine everything
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: they want. And the person who falls in line, they're
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: always put on the back burner because they're chill. They
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: don't harass me. They're always happy. So I think there
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: are times where you need to.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Tap in and be the asshole. And I was like,
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: I can be the asshole.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: You know what?
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: That's a great lesson.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: That is so good because especially for the stuff that
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: you and I are trying to do outside this podcast,
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: we have to keep reminding. We have to just keep going.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: We know what our pot of gold is at the
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: end of the rainbow. We know our North Star, right?
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Nothing is going to stand in the way of what
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: you and I want to create. And we know people
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: will love it. It's just timing. It's just getting the
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: right yes. It's going through the nose to get to
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: the yes. And you know what? I think that's a
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: beautiful trait that she has. Riley is the same frigging way.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: And it's like, this kid teaches me more patience. So
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Riley's teaching me patience. London is teaching me not to
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: try to fix her problems and just listen.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: And that's really hard to do because I just want
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: to like dive in, scramble it, fix it, put it
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: back together, put a bow on it, and then like
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: move on from the day. And I'm like, no, that's
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: like doing her a disservice. Like I need to get curious.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: I need to acknowledge her feelings first because she is
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: my kid that has a lot of really big feelings
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: without opening my freaking mouth. And so I have to
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: remind myself, Amber, shut your mouth. Just listen. repeat back
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: what she said. So she knows in her brain, like, okay,
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: my mom knows in this moment that like, I'm really
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: angry because fill in the blank. And then, and then
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: sometimes I say, Hmm, I wonder what you're going to
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: do about that. And like the, sometimes the look on
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: her face is like, wait, what? Like, what do you mean?
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: That's so rude to say, but it allows her to
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: problem solve, which she needs to learn to do where
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: Riley is. God bless my little Scorpio that she is.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: I love her, but she is adamant about going to
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: college in Miami, doing this for a job. She wants
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: to like, when she sets her mind on something and
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: it reminds me a lot of myself when I was
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: little and I wanted to, to be an actor, no
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: one was going to stop me. And my parents were
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: probably like banging their head against the wall going, what
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: the heck does this chick want to do going into Hollywood? But, um,
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: No one could stop me.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: I'd go to any length.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: And that's, I think the biggest challenge, and I know
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: most moms will relate to this, is how you look
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: at your child and how they came into the world.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Because there's so many qualities that children have, right? It's
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: blank canvas, looking at the world and being so just excited,
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: but black and white with how they feel. How do
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: you incubate all of these qualities but also refine them,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: if that makes sense?
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: I think you have to do it when they're not
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: seeing red, right? So when an ocean is waterboarding you
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: or SOSA, It's like that's not the time to teach
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: the lesson because I think from a neurological standpoint, they're
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: not there. They're like so in their amygdala that they
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: can't even– and their frontal cortex is not even developed.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: So you have to do it in these quiet moments
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: like when the seas are calm, not when it's like insanity.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: And that's hard because you're teaching them. You're like, okay,
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: now is a good time because usually when kids are
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: being good, you're like, oh, God, thank God I could rest.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: It's like– Maybe that's a time to teach. And you
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: could also do it not by words. There's so many
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: fun games. When I was going through a hard time
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: with London when she was around like seven or eight,
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: and we were helping her identify her emotions, there's this game,
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: and I don't know it off the top of my head,
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: and I'll have to find it so we could link
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: it for people, where it was kind of like the
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: movie where it was all these different emotions. What is
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: that movie called? The Disney movie?
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: Inside Out. I've watched it 400 times this weekend. Inside Out.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: It's so good. It's such a great reminder.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: It's the best.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's, and I love the one that came
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: out with the second one where it's about like puberty
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: and stuff like that.
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: I will say, I look at my kids.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: And just, obviously there's still children and we all look
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: at our kids and we're very proud, but I will
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: say the one aspect of my life that I feel
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: confident that I'm really doing a pretty damn good job
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: is parenting my kids thus far.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: I know how God works.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: He's going to, you know, throw me something that, because
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: I probably in saying this need to be humbled, right?
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: He'll throw me something that I can't quite conquer and
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have to learn a lesson. But I,
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: I look at them and I'm like, I feel pretty
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: proud of the job that.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: I'm doing by myself.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: Because no one teaches you like how to be a mom, right?
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: There's all of these parenting books that people recommend and
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: it's like, well, that's great, but it's not one size
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: fits all, right? Like every child is different. Every parenting
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: style doesn't work for, you know, each kid. When I
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: found out I was having SOSA and I was like, oh,
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: a girl, like I can do this. Like I know
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: how this rodeo goes. And she's a completely different child.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: I know she's only almost two, but she's already got
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: like her little quirks about her. Like she loses her
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: mind when, oh my gosh, you're going to die, Amber.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: She's in the bath the other day and she's losing
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: her goddamn mind.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Over what?
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Pointing at the water and then squealing. And I'm like,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: what is it? And she's waiting and I see a hair.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: That's floating in the water. She sees it, freaks the
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: fuck out. And I'm like, my child, Sosa, is like me.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: Like when I see a hair in the water, I drain,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: clean out. She gets spaghetti on her hands and she's like, mama, mama,
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: repeater mode, mama, mama, until you get her a wet
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: cloth to wipe herself down, right?
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: I swear to God, I was just going to say,
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: do you think your children are a reflection of either
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: who you were or what you need to work on?
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: I think Sosa is my clone. And we're the same sign, right?
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Not through and through, but like Virgo. And Ocean teaches
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: me to fucking just let go. She's such an old soul.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: But also, it's hard to explain. An old soul, but
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: she teaches me life is not that stressful.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: You know? Yeah. It's just such like a fun... personality,
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: free spirit. She's a Pisces, my most favorite. sign of
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: the entire zodiac.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: I didn't know that.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: It's my favorite. Every Pisces I have met, I'm just
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: in awe of them. I adore them.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: They're kind. They're sweet. They're free spirits. They're emotional. I
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: just find them to be fabulous.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Do you know what her moon is?
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: I do. She has a full book in one of
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: my friends.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know it off the top of my head,
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: but I'll have to, do you know your kids full?
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: We should do that Amber.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, we, we definitely should because London is
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: such an Aquarius and Riley is such a Scorpio, but I,
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: I really want to know, I want to know the
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: rising and I want to know their moon. So let
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: me tell you something. And I've said this before. so
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: many times on the podcast and privately, you are such
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: an inspiration and you are doing such a fantastic job.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: I am in awe of how well you handle your life.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: You have so much going on. You are such a badass.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: And I, sometimes when I'm like in self-pity or like,
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: oh my God, I can't do this. Like I'm melting.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: My life is unmanageable and blah, blah. And I'm like,
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: fucking what would Lala do? Like she would just grab
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: life by the balls and say, let's go, let's do this.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Like I, I feel so honored to have this relationship
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: with you and know you and watch you from the
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: time you were pregnant with Sosa up until now, you're
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: fucking crushing it. You're crushing it.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Thank you. I, you know, I feel the same way
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: about you. I, I think I know Kanye West is
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: an unpopular person to be quoting, but before he lost
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: his goddamn mind, he has a song and in it
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: he says, single mothers know they have my heart. And
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: every time I think of that, I'm like, you know,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: single moms do have my heart because it is a
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: very hard job. even though all of us have very
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: different circumstances. You may be working two jobs. Your mom
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: watches the kids. You know right now my mom cannot
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: watch my kids. So anyone who has, I do know
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: how good I have it. And I feel kind of
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: weird calling myself a single mom because I have hands
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: on deck, right? But there's so many different versions and
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: definitions of being a single parent. And I just, it's
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: like a superhero.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: You know, it's so funny. It reminds me of that
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: episode in In the City when they all go to
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: Connecticut on a trip and they take the rooms.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: I love that you're talking. I have not talked about this.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: Bring it up. I love that you know this show.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: I love that you're bringing this scene up.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: Georgina and Whitney, or no, Lindsay, took the main room
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: because they were like, oh, we're moms.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: We're tired.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: This is our first weekend. Georgina hadn't been away from
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: her kids in like two years that she said. And-
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: And Whitney, right, the girlfriend, made a comment about her
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: being a single mom and how she always uses the
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: single mom card. And oh my God, this went on
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: for like episodes. And Lindsay was so offended. And I
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: was like, Until you're a mom, you just don't realize
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: like getting a night away in a room is like
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: the greatest gift. Like I love going on airplanes because
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: when I was, especially when my kids were little, I
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: was like, that's a fucking vacation for me. Going on
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: an airplane across the country, it's like, yes, I would
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: like another glass of champagne. Yes, I want to talk
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: to the person next to me. Yeah, it's like I
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: could do whatever I want.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: That episode was so good. good and so legit and
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: she got a lot of fucking shade thrown at her
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: because but she also apologized like a thousand times and
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: lindsey was not letting it go like she was so
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: offended the.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Vibe i get from whitney she gives me raquel energy
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: and everyone and lindsey's kind of like me like a
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: pit bull she doesn't let it go she's she's seeing
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: something in whitney that she does not like and she
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: loops she loops that's me i'm a looper I'm like, listen, bitch.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: I fucking see you for who you are. This is
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: a bigger issue. This isn't like just something that you
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: said and didn't feel this way. This is a bigger issue,
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: and I see you for who you are. I cannot
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: believe that one of them did not put their paws
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: on this bitch. When you say you're playing the single
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: mom card, I black out and see red. And I'm
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: not a physical person, but– Don't fucking say that to me.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: And also don't blanket it as like, well, they just
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: got married and they.
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: Deserve the big room.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: If you just got married, you should be on cloud
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: nine and you should be able to sleep in a box.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. I know how I felt
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: when I was in love. You could have put me
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: outside in the frigid cold and.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: I would have been fine. Let me know when you
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: get divorced. Then you get the big room.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: People with struggles get big rooms.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: And by the way, Lindsay was like, Yeah, I have
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: a nanny because I have to fucking work.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, bitch.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: And like she just didn't understand. And that's my point.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: I don't think women who are not there yet of
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: having kids– you could like– when my sister Autumn got pregnant,
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: I was trying to give her advice about being a mother.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: And you want to just like throw a bunch of
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: information at them. But then you're like, what's the fucking point?
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: Because they really don't, my words aren't going to land
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: as hard as it is when you actually are dealing
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: with a baby at 3 a.m. and then 5 a.m.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: and then at 8 a.m. It's like there's no words
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: to describe motherhood.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: It's just hard.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: And hard is not even an appropriate word because it's
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: more than hard.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: People love to point out, by the way, that I
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: don't get it. Because I have a nanny and I
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: have my mom and I have my brother. I also
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: had the luxury of having a night nurse for both babies.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: I didn't get to stop working. I have to provide
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: for this household. I got a lot of overhead. I
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: got a lot of bills to pay. So I have
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: to have the help in order for me to go
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: out and do what I need to do. Be a
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: functioning mother who has... I'm so grateful that I get
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: to like film a show with my friends because when
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: I can combine my social life with work and get
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: the best of both worlds, that is when I thrive, right?
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: But I'm telling you, those hours of waking up without
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: my night nurse, I would have been fucking flying solo.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: You can't wake up at those hours and go to work.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: And by the way, when I say you can't, there
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: are so many women who do it. And I'm like,
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: I cannot imagine. Like you're a fucking badass.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: You're a superhero.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: There's nothing that could possibly explain how a woman can
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: do those things, all of them, and still function throughout
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: the day.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: Breathing.
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: I mean, that to me is a miracle.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: It was like the episode on the, now I'm watching
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: the Valley.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: Who knew?
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: I'm watching the Valley, you guys.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Shocker.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Um, When Kristen was having a hard time with her husband,
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: I don't know his name. Luke, yeah. Yeah, Luke. And
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: she's just like, I'm not okay with having sex right now.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: And I was like, it's from the outside. It's really
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: hard because you have empathy for him because he wants
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: his woman back. But a man has no idea and
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: can never fathom that like– when you squeeze a baby
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: out of your fucking vagina, not one, not two, whatever
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: it is for the, in her case for the first time,
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: or you get your stomach ripped open and a baby
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: taken out. And so like the last thing on your mind,
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: mind is, is having sex. Like I can't, I can't
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: even imagine it's really, so it's really beautiful to watch
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: these shows and see women. And I think that I'm
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: starting to understand like why a lot of times people
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: love reality, not only just for the drama and the
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: white noise is because this is real life and people
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: can relate. Like I so related to Kristen when she
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: was sitting on the couch and she was like, I
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: don't want to go give my baby down the street
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: to Jackson Brittany because I'm still fucking attached. Like it's
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: a real thing. It's a real thing.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is a real thing. And men cannot even
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: begin to understand what it is like. And quite honestly,
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: I can't even begin to know what it's like as
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: a woman to carry a baby. my partner involved have
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: to take care of my baby while also keep my
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: relationship together. I've never had that, you know, and you
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: have many stories of having to like, keep it all,
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: keep the family together and closeness with, you know, your
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: husband while also, you know, loving on your baby and
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: everything else you had to deal with. But just like it,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: A basic, normal, happy family who makes babies, you know,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: the good old-fashioned way. That seems like a lot of
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: work and a lot of pressure.
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. I mean, I'm almost two years postpartum.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you, when I got pounded out the
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: other night, I don't need to see a.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: Dick for like a while.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Oh my God.
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: I'm so excited.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: I'm fucking exhausted. You know what's so funny? You were
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: very freaking quiet this weekend and I was like, what
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: is this bitch up to? I thought the same thing
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: about you.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: You did?
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: I was like, I texted you. I was like, did
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: I do something wrong?
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: No. wrong? No, no.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: I literally went golfing for the first time yesterday.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: You crushed that drive, girl.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: No.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. No, I didn't. But I'm obsessed with
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: golf again.
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: Like obsessed. I asked you to please teach me.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: We're going.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: I don't think people know this about you, that you
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: had a golf scholarship. You're like a very athletic woman. Yeah. I, well,
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: I was, I wouldn't say I am. I'm trying to
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: get it back. You're still athletic. You still have that.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: You just aren't doing it every single day. Oh my God.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: I had a hot dog. I had a fucking hot
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: dog for the first time in like seven years.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: It was, oh, it was a good hot dog. Girl,
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: let me tell you something. You want to know my
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: jam with me?
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: I know you had a good hot dog this weekend.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: I want to know whose hot dog you had. Wait,
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: let me ask you.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: Do I know this person? You know of the person.
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: You know of the person.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: I don't know the person.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: You've never met him. You know of him. Okay, okay, okay.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: Lots of history. Whatever.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm good for a while. I think
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: what I'm going to start doing... How did we get
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: on this topic? This is supposed to be about parenting.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: But here we go talking about hot dogs you eat and.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: Because it's.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: Part of our fun of like, here, let me just
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: tie this really closely together. As parents, as women, as
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: single moms that we are, we're allowed, this is called balance.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: This is living a balance. You don't have to be
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: a button up mother, like a Betty Crocker mother and
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: feel good about yourself. You're allowed to let loose a
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: little bit. If I want to suck on a fucking vape,
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go suck on a vape. If you
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: want to go get a hot dog, over the weekend
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: and you don't have your kids, go get a hot dog.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Amen. Is the hot dog a metaphor for dick or both?
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Are we talking about both?
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: I'm not sure.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: No.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: You know what? No. I meant dick. But if you
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: want to eat a hot dog while you're getting a
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: hot dog.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: You ate an actual hot dog.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Can you eat?
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: From a golf course.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: Which, by the way, golf courses have the best fucking food.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Like the best food.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: The best. I love. Oh, the chicken fingers at a
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: golf course don't even get me started.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: The french fries were so crispy.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: This is where I'm at. So Ocean is going to
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: be five and a half. Sosa will be two. I
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: obviously have yet to bring a man around either of them.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: Even the whole thing of like, this is mommy's friend.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: Like literally any man that I am intimate with, We
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: don't introduce them to the kids, even if it's a
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: consistent type of thing, not happening. And I will say
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: with the last guy who like broke my spirits, who
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: you know, who by the way, the biggest of the duds,
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: which I just finally realized Amber, I'm like sitting there
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: the other day. I'm like, you're so fucking dud like.
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: You're such a dud. Why am I giving you time still?
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: Because he has a gorgeous face. That's why you were
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: very attracted to him.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: I know, but why?
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Because you're attracted to him.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: There's something happening medically. There's a medical, I need to
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: get my brain evaluated, maybe have a lobotomy.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: No, you're coming out of it.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: You know he's a dud.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: He's a dud, but I'm still sitting here being like,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: I think Amber and I should go see him and
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: then we'll go to the Bahamas for a trip.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: No, you don't have to threaten me with a good time.
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: I think we should just fucking do it. I need
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: to see that he's a dud in person.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe. I'm rounding this back to I have not
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: introduced my kids to anybody. With the guy who like
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: broke my spirits, who is a dud, if you remember,
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: I was in such a hole that it mentally took
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: me away from my kids. So I'm going through this process.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: And by the way, so are you. We had this conversation.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: Why are we continuing to attract the same type of
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: person over and over again? And they always come to
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: us and they portray themselves as something that they're actually not.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: I cannot control them. I can control myself. So what
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: is it that I'm doing? Number one, I cannot allow
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: a dude to come into my world.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: Without expectations.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I feel like I present myself as such a cool
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: chick that they don't feel like they need to bring
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: anything to the table.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: They got to work a little bit harder, okay?
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: I also have to keep that mental block up So
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: that if things don't work out, I am not mentally
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: taken away from my children because that time, I mean,
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Ocean goes and visits her dad for a handful of days.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: She comes back a new human. These days are precious.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: You miss one because you're mentally checked out. Tomorrow, they
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: are a completely different kid. You're never getting that day back. Yeah.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: And you know this now. You have to go through
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: these growing pains and that is called evolving as a person.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: And Learning what your priorities are, your non-negotiables. Like, for instance,
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: I was talking to a guy last night for a
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: very long time on the phone. I was very impressed
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: with myself. And I was like, I have to ask
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: you a question. And he was married for 17 years,
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: got divorced five years ago. And I asked him, I said,
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: was there infidelity? And I would normally never ask that.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: I've never met this guy before. I would wait months
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: to ask, or at least like 60 days, right?
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: 45, 60 days.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: I want to know right off the bat, because if
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: there was, that is a non-negotiable for me. That means
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: somewhere down the, even if you said, I will never
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: do it again, because of my own personal history with infidelity,
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: I won't go down that track. So it's like asking
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: these questions very early on, and it's not.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: What was the answer?
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: The answer was no.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: The answer was no. Sometimes things just end.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he explained why they ended, and I asked him.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: But it is hard trying to find the balance as
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: a single fucking mother to be like, to separate yourself
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: from being a mom. Because for a very long time,
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: my entire identity, you know more than anybody, my identity
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: was I'm a mom. I'm a mom.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: I'm a mom.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: And it prevented me from going out with friends because
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: it's like I.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: Chose to be a mom. So why would I leave
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: my children at home to go be with my friends?
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: Because it's guilt. And honestly, I even noticed this with
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: my mom and my dad. When they see that I'm
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: going out, I feel, this is how I feel. I
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: get this vibe that they're like, well, you probably shouldn't,
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: like maybe you're choosing. And I'm like, I'm allowed to
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: go have fun, you guys. I am a single woman
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: at 38 years old with two kids. And if I
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: choose to go out on a Wednesday night and go
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: to the local fucking honky tonk and get swung around
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: by 10 different guys while I'm line dancing, like that
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: is what I'm doing. And I think it, we just,
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: you have to give yourself permission. And I think we
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: live in a society where you either have to be
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: a good mom or you have to be a mom
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: that's like, you know, a few feet away and working
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: on their career. And I, I don't, I don't, I
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: know you said you, you can't be both, but there
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: are days where you could be show up in your 90%
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: mom and you could show up and you're 60% mom
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: because you have to provide.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: But that's what I mean.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: When, when that Lily Allen said that you can't have
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: it all, you cannot show up 100%. Of course we
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: can do it all. I can be a mom who works,
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: who goes out with her friends, who goes on dates,
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: who has sex. I can be a well-rounded person, right?
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: But you cannot be 100% with your children, 100% working.
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: You just can't.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: It's just 100% impossible for anybody to be 100% in
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: everything at all times.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because something's always suffering. It may be the children
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: are suffering at that point or your work is suffering
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: if you're trying to.
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: Do it all.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but haven't you noticed that, and I don't know
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: if this is just like an American thing, but there's
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: so much judgment. If you don't fit in a box
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: that everyone can understand, people can't understand, wait, you're a mom,
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: but you're choosing to go out.
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: You don't care about your kids.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone's passed differently. Remember, we were in the car
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: the other day, and I have a friend whose husband
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: is like, we know that he's cheating and he has
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: this pussy palace. And I was like, why don't us
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: single moms have a house to go to that brings
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: the men?
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: Okay. When?
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: Where?
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: Tell me when. How much do I owe?
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: I think I know like probably four or five different
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: women who would go in who are very good women,
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: good moms, and they just need a place to go
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: Not be a mom and not have your cap on
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: because there's also when you're in your house, it's a
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: different vibe. But when you're somewhere else, it's like when
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: you try on new hair color, you're just like, oh,
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: I feel like a different person. This is amazing.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Well, you know, because Ocean was gone because I don't
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: have any dudes at the house if Ocean's here. And
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: I also have to have a longstanding history and know
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: the guy. Like it has to be kind of a
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: comfortability thing because you're also coming into my home where
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: my children sleep. So I can't just invite anybody over.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: I got to be thick with you. And I also
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: have to know you're a good dude because I could
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: know you for a really long time, but you're in
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: the streets. Yeah. So I had a guy over for
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: the first time. And when I tell you the Virgo
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: in me was obsessing over the sheets the whole time,
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: no one's coming to my house again.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. Those are my beautiful.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: White sheets and juices everywhere and, like, cleaning juices off
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: with my gorgeous.
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: Towels that I wipe my kids with. What the fuck?
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: Just use extra bleach. You'll be fine.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: You'll be fine.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: It really sent me into a spiral.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: I know, but that's because you're trying to control. Like,
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: you have to just, like, let go. Let loose.
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: That's why you did it, Amber.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: Yes, good. No, do it more. When you don't have
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: the kids, do it more. Where was your mom, by
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: the way, in all this? In her room?
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: No, she was at Easton's. She was hanging out with Easton.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: They were doing whatever they do, probably talking shit on me.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: No, they're not talking shit.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: I think they talk mad shit about me sometimes.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: They don't. You are too hard and you judge yourself
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: too much. I definitely know Easton does not talk shit.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: You have full support. Our moms are always going to
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: talk a little shit about us because we're not living
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: the way that they would expect us to live. But, dude,
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: your mom loves you.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I know she does. And I know she's proud. But,
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: you know, we all go through our struggles. I want
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: to ask you because you have two older girls. Are
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: you super honest with them when you're going through– a
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: hard time?
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: Like whether it's.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: With a guy, your career, like do you explain to
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: them like I'm in a funk because of this?
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: Sometimes. I think when I'm having a really hard time
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: processing and I feel very dysregulated, I will go for
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: a ton of walks and I will invite my kids
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: on the walks. When, for instance, when Livingston I found
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: out he met some girl on a plane and whatever
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: took her out and banged her. I don't know. I
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: was honest with my kids. London was here. Riley wasn't here.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: My family was here at that time, and so we
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: were laughing about it. I was like, you know what, London?
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: It happens. I want her to know that when heartbreak happens,
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be okay, which means she's got to
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: learn that she's going to be okay. Because she has
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: gone through her own version of heartbreak being 16. But
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: you're allowed to feel and cry. And that's something that
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: I didn't necessarily grow up being able to process my
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: emotions in that way. I want her to know that, yes,
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: mom hurts. And I'm deeply sad that this happened and
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: that I was betrayed. But maybe there's a blessing in
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: all this that I can't see yet. And no matter what, I'm.
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: Going to be okay.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: And we could laugh now because this is so ridiculous.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, can I tell you, I think that that's
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: the biggest and greatest lesson. And I talk about that
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: all the time that, you know, I grew up with
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: parents who were together until my dad passed away.
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: It was, you know, 40 plus years.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: And I watched my parents, you know, a lot of
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: people say, don't argue in front of your kids. I
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: saw my parents get into it, but I saw them
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: come back from the arguments. I saw the process of
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: taking space. and coming back together with really great productive conversations.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: And I think that's why fighting does not freak me out.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: That when I hit a low, low, that doesn't, you know,
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: I don't necessarily enjoy it, but I know that there's
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: a good moment on the other side.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: And, you know, Ocean is very emotionally intelligent.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: I won't be able, I don't think, to speak to
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: Sosa the same way that I can speak to Ocean. Like, Ocean,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: I got to get heavy handed and I got to
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: get real fucking Lala on her ass sometimes. I don't
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: think Sosa will be able to handle that. I'll have
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: to gentle parent her.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: But there are.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: Times where, you know, something stresses me out and maybe
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: I react to Ocean a little quicker and less patient
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: than normal and she will call me out on it.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: And it could be days later. You know, mom, that
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: really hurt my feelings when you did that. And I
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: have to explain to her. Mommy was going through a
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: stressful time. Mommy's heart was hurting. And it wasn't okay
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: the way I treated you, but it is okay. And
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: I tell Ocean all the time, it's okay for you
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: to be in a bad mood. It's okay for you
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: to be angry. What's not okay is for you or
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: me to be mean to someone else because we're upset
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: at something.
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: We need to take a breather.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: And so, like you said at the very beginning of
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: the podcast, when she's on 100 and emotional as fuck
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: and just going through her Pisces, chill in your room,
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: take a load off. When you're ready to have a conversation...
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: I'll be outside.
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: You know where to find me.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: She's really good at communicating and I'm trying to communicate
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: with her the best way I can. And it's, it's
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: difficult because I sit there and I'm like, I don't
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: want her to know that I'm upset, but I also
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: don't want her to go through life thinking that you
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: always got to be fucking happy.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: I think it's also age appropriate. Like I wouldn't necessarily
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: tell Riley certain things. It just so happened that the
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: girls are together right now, and they both have diarrhea
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: of the mouth. And Riley called me, and she's like, hey,
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: I heard you broke up with da-da-da. And I was like, yes, Riley.
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: Who told her?
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: London did.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, London.
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: And so we were laughing about it. Like, she didn't ask.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: And I don't know how much information she knows, but
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: it was just like, if you could find a way
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: just to teach your kids that no matter what, you're
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: going to be okay. We're strong women, yet we're allowed
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: to feel our emotions. And sometimes, I say this to
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: myself all the time, it's called HALT. H-A-L-T. Are you hungry, angry, lonely,
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: or tired?
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: Sometimes all four.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: And sometimes you're all fucking four.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: That's when I get in the bed with a bowl
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: of fucking melted cheese and tortilla chips.
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: And watch Friends. It cures everything.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: The cheese that you get in the can that you
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: put on Wheat Thins, that stuff is so bad, but
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: it's so good.
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: Oh, the spray cheese?
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: Yes. Girl, I would fuck up some cheese whiz on
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: a Philly cheesesteak.
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: You don't even know.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: So good.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: On the Valley, all they do is show me eating.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: I'm like, new rule, no eating on camera because I'm like,
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: I'm like a beaver.
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: No.
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: I mean, the episodes that I've watched, you were not eating.
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: When you guys went out, I don't even know what
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: episode I'm on.
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: Are you going to continue watching it?
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: Of course.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: Now I'm invested.
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: I love it. You have to.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: I have to know all your thoughts, plus you need
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: to do some homework, obviously.
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: No, it's good.
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: I like it. Parenting is fucking awesome. Parenting is fucking hard.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: But wait, let me tell you something really fast about
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: the Valley.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: I don't know Brittany, right? I've like known her through
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: the years. I've met her a handful of times. I
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: really freaking like her a lot.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: Oops.
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: She's the best.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: I really, I really love Brittany. She's the best.
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: She's the best. And she is the best mom to
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: her baby.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: And like shit can be hitting the fan. And I've
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: seen this before and she's just like, it's okay.
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: We're going to get through it.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: Don't worry, honey. Like I just, I just love, she's
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: got like the greatest spirit.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you something about Brittany before we sign off.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: Her son, from the time he was diagnosed to where
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: he is now, due to what she has put in,
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: not her ex, he has nothing to do with it.
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: It is all her.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: He is a different child who has such a bright
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: future in front of him. I mean, I just look
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: at Brittany and I'm not because that woman is doing
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: it all on her own. She has a nanny who
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: comes in and who's fucking awesome with Cruz. And she
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: goes out and she gets the fucking job done. And
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: she comes back and she's.
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: An amazing mom.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: And what I've learned about her is there are times
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: where she can go into a hole, right? So when
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: she tells me, I'm feeling this way, I really just
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: want to get in bed and not leave the house,
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: I just show up. I'm like, we're not doing that.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: And there was one time I showed up. And she
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: lost her fucking mind. And I told the gays because
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: I brought the gays with me. I was like, maybe
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: just wait outside for a second. And we sat on
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: her bed. She talked to us. She was like, you
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: can tell the gays to come in. We sat on
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: the couch.
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: We laughed. I think.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: Having the girls that I have around me right now, Amber,
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: who are the only person who's not a single mom
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: who's very close with me is Janet. And her husband
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: is just like chef's kiss perfection. The girls in my
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: life right now, I am so fortunate to have.
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: I think about it all the time.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: You, Brittany, Michelle, Janet, it's just like my cup is
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: so full and I watch you guys and I'm inspired.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: You make life look fun and doable, but you you
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: talk about the hard shit that we can all relate to.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: And I just really fucking love you. I love this podcast.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: I love going on tangents with you. And I just
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: feel like my cup is overflowing.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: I love you. I love you so much.
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: I love you too. All right, my loves.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to another tangent episode
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: of An Unlikely Affair.
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: We love you and we will catch you next Thursday
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: at 9 p.m.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: Love you. Bye. Bye.