Latest / STOPTIME: Live in the Moment. / Broadway’s Nick Barasch on Perfectionism, Permission, and Coming Home to Himself

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Broadway’s Nick Barasch on Perfectionism, Permission, and Coming Home to Himself · STOPTIME: Live in the Moment.

• 0:23
  Lisa Hopkins: Today is the Stop Time Podcast.
• 0:26
  Lisa Hopkins: I'm your host, Lisa Hopkins, and I'm here to engage you in thought-provoking motivational conversations around practicing the art of living in the moment.
• 0:35
  Lisa Hopkins: I'm a certified life coach, and I'm excited to dig deep and offer insights into embracing who we are and where we are at.
• 0:49
  Lisa Hopkins: Hey.
• 0:49
  Lisa Hopkins: Oh my gosh.
• 0:53
  Lisa Hopkins: How are you?
• 0:55
  Lisa Hopkins: I love it.
• 0:59
  Lisa Hopkins: Oh, I'm so happy that we we get to speak with you.
• 1:02
  Nick Barasch: Thank you too.
• 1:03
  Nick Barasch: Thank you for having me.
• 1:04
  Nick Barasch: I was thinking about, I mean, we go the farthest back from most people in my life, like crazy.
• 1:14
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, I know.
• 1:15
  Lisa Hopkins: It is really crazy.
• 1:16
  Lisa Hopkins: I I kept thinking how special it would be to speak with you.
• 1:20
  Nick Barasch: Oh, same, same, same.
• 1:23
  Lisa Hopkins: So I had the joy of working with my next guest when he was just nine years old.
• 1:30
  Lisa Hopkins: And even then, his gift was undeniable.
• 1:34
  Lisa Hopkins: He had that rare spark, the voice of an angel, and a work ethic well beyond his years.
• 1:42
  Lisa Hopkins: You could tell he was destined for something extraordinary.
• 1:46
  Lisa Hopkins: And he's more than delivered on that promise.
• 1:49
  Lisa Hopkins: On Broadway, he starred in Pirates, the Penzance musical, earning the Clarence Derwent Award and Drama Desk nomination, as well as in She Loves Me, where he received a Theater World Award along with Drama Desk and Outer Critic Circle nominations.
• 2:05
  Lisa Hopkins: His credits also include The Mystery of Edwin Drude, West Side Story, and the first national tour of Hades Town, where he played Orpheus.
• 2:11
  Lisa Hopkins: Boy, I would have liked to have seen that one.
• 2:14
  Lisa Hopkins: Off Broadway, his performance in The Butcher Boy at Irish Repertory Theater was met with critical acclaim and earned nominations from the Drama Desk, Outer Critic Circle, and Lucille Lortel Awards, to name a few.
• 2:27
  Lisa Hopkins: You may know him as Julian Blossom on Riverdale, but I know him as a beautiful human with a voice that moves, a heart that shines, and a dedication to his craft that's been there from the very, very beginning.
• 2:41
  Lisa Hopkins: It's an absolute joy, truly, to welcome him here today.
• 2:45
  Lisa Hopkins: Nicholas Barash, welcome to the show.
• 2:49
  Nick Barasch: That made me like kind of emotional, that intro.
• 2:51
  Nick Barasch: I don't know how I can live up to that, but thank you for having me.
• 2:54
  Nick Barasch: My gosh.
• 2:56
  Lisa Hopkins: Listen, it wouldn't matter what you did.
• 2:58
  Lisa Hopkins: I I really believe this.
• 2:59
  Lisa Hopkins: I really believe in the human behind the headlines.
• 3:01
  Lisa Hopkins: I mean, that's what you chose to do.
• 3:03
  Lisa Hopkins: That's where you chose to put your energy.
• 3:05
  Lisa Hopkins: And yeah, you have a gift, but you're a gifted human.
• 3:10
  Lisa Hopkins: And I believe that no matter what you do, that you would do it with the same ethic, the same light.
• 3:16
  Lisa Hopkins: I do.
• 3:17
  Nick Barasch: Thank you.
• 3:17
  Nick Barasch: I it's so funny that you say that I that I had a work ethic back then at nine years old.
• 3:22
  Nick Barasch: Like, I'm curious to know what you thought of me as like a because I must have been.
• 3:26
  Nick Barasch: I was a very hard-working kid, but it's funny.
• 3:29
  Lisa Hopkins: Like some people's work ethic, you think about you see them, you see them trying, you see them working.
• 3:34
  Lisa Hopkins: What I remember about you, and and you know, let's let's you know, let's be clear.
• 3:41
  Lisa Hopkins: When there's a child, he's gonna be well, your mom was bringing you, right?
• 3:45
  Lisa Hopkins: Your mom was around, yeah.
• 3:46
  Lisa Hopkins: But your mom was amazing, she was not a staged or mom or is amazing, you know.
• 3:50
  Lisa Hopkins: So it was I never felt the pressure of that.
• 3:54
  Lisa Hopkins: Yes, and I never felt that you felt the pressure of that.
• 3:57
  Lisa Hopkins: I don't know if you did, but I didn't know.
• 4:00
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, so interesting.
• 4:01
  Nick Barasch: Just looking back, and yeah, the people who knew me like way, way back when it's just fascinating.
• 4:07
  Nick Barasch: Um, because it does feel like forever ago, but um beginning of it all, and you were there for that.
• 4:13
  Lisa Hopkins: So well, I mean, it's so funny, you know.
• 4:17
  Lisa Hopkins: I I as I was thinking about you know, talking to you, I was I was thinking, yeah, I I honestly don't even know where to begin, except right.
• 4:24
  Lisa Hopkins: Well, except with gratitude for being part of like this small part of your journey, oh and and then for bearing witness to your growth, like that is like you can't money can't buy that.
• 4:35
  Nick Barasch: I know.
• 4:36
  Nick Barasch: Oh my gosh, yeah, incredible.
• 4:39
  Nick Barasch: And just I and the memories are vivid.
• 4:41
  Nick Barasch: I mean, it was I was nine years old, but I remember being in Arizona with everyone, and I know those huge stage.
• 4:47
  Nick Barasch: I mean, I I was a little kid and we were playing like big houses.
• 4:51
  Nick Barasch: Um yeah, so that was such a thrill.
• 4:54
  Nick Barasch: It really was like opened my eyes to like, wow, what what what this could look like.
• 4:59
  Lisa Hopkins: So yeah, no, that's that's amazing.
• 5:01
  Lisa Hopkins: I love that.
• 5:02
  Lisa Hopkins: Um, looking back actually now, if there's something that you could tell nine-year-old Nick, what would it be?
• 5:09
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 5:10
  Nick Barasch: Oh gosh, I would probably, I mean, you know, I've I've said this before, you know, publicly, but I I was I was definitely.
• 5:19
  Nick Barasch: I mean, we talk about how I was a hard worker.
• 5:21
  Nick Barasch: I was, I became, I would say, too hard a worker as a kid.
• 5:25
  Nick Barasch: And I think being in the industry at that age, you know, I I wouldn't recommend it to everyone because it's it was beautiful and I found what I loved so early, but it also came with a cost and stuff that I'm working through in therapy now.
• 5:41
  Nick Barasch: But no, I think if I were to talk to him, I would say, you have time, you know, to just grow up and be a kid.
• 5:48
  Nick Barasch: And I think, you know, no, no young person truly believes that.
• 5:54
  Nick Barasch: They always want to race to adulthood.
• 5:56
  Nick Barasch: And I think that was that was sped up just by the fact that I was thrown into this professional sphere.
• 6:04
  Nick Barasch: Um, there was a I grew up a little too fast, I would say.
• 6:08
  Nick Barasch: So my advice to him would be, you know, maybe just hang hang around in kid kiddom a little longer, you know.
• 6:18
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 6:18
  Lisa Hopkins: What what do you think would be different had had he done that?
• 6:22
  Lisa Hopkins: Had you done that.
• 6:23
  Nick Barasch: I think everything.
• 6:24
  Nick Barasch: I mean, I talked to my parents about it too, because you know, they have mixed feelings about it.
• 6:28
  Nick Barasch: I mean, it was never, you know, it was always my passion that they supported.
• 6:33
  Nick Barasch: So it was very wholesome and organic, but I would just be a complete I have no idea.
• 6:38
  Nick Barasch: I probably would have had a more normal quote unquote path.
• 6:42
  Nick Barasch: I probably would have gone to a four-year college, which I did not do.
• 6:46
  Nick Barasch: And I have no idea.
• 6:48
  Nick Barasch: I think I probably still would have found performing and acting and singing, but yeah, my my life definitely I just had a very specific path, and it's always been that.
• 7:00
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 7:00
  Lisa Hopkins: So I'm curious to know, like with you, as a child, you're gonna listen to the people that that that love you and protect you, and you have great parents.
• 7:08
  Lisa Hopkins: So so you trusted them and they saw something in you, and this is what parents do.
• 7:12
  Lisa Hopkins: I'm a parent, I get it.
• 7:13
  Lisa Hopkins: Yes, you know, and they say, Oh, he seems to have this gift.
• 7:16
  Lisa Hopkins: Let's find some opportunities.
• 7:18
  Lisa Hopkins: Absolutely, right?
• 7:19
  Lisa Hopkins: At what point, you know, it's interesting because your talent then then was dictating, and you you were just a young human, so you know, it it just seemed natural and safe to keep following that because it makes everybody happy, you're good at it, you're right, yeah, absolutely, yes.
• 7:42
  Nick Barasch: All all of the above.
• 7:43
  Nick Barasch: Yes, I think it's it's it's interesting that you put it that way, that the talent dictated.
• 7:47
  Nick Barasch: It was almost like that was leading, and I had to kind of follow, you know, follow it and being plunged into this, yeah, adult world.
• 7:56
  Nick Barasch: But um, you know, it was yeah, it was it was really joyful.
• 8:02
  Nick Barasch: I mean, I always enjoyed doing it.
• 8:05
  Nick Barasch: Um, and so the love has always been there, and that's what's kept me going ultimately.
• 8:10
  Nick Barasch: And the support, I mean, like you said, I had an amazing support system and also teachers who yeah, I mean, it would be like I'd go to school, my parents would pick me up, we'd like drive to my acting teacher's house because I'd have some audition in the city the next day for some huge project, and we work on like Shakespeare for like three hours when I was 14, and then I'd like go home and finish my homework, and then like it was like a lot, but I also did love it.
• 8:38
  Nick Barasch: So yeah.
• 8:39
  Lisa Hopkins: Well, I'm curious about the intersection of when you started leading, because you did, you've done that, obviously.
• 8:45
  Lisa Hopkins: I feel like you're in the lead now of your career and of your talent.
• 8:47
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, yeah.
• 8:48
  Lisa Hopkins: What where can you talk to me about that intersection?
• 8:51
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, it's funny because I I remember doing the mystery of Edwin Druid when I was 14, and it was like we were living in the city at the time, and I like went to rehearsal on the subway by myself, and that was like my dad, like was like, Okay, like you you go down to rehearsal by yourself.
• 9:07
  Nick Barasch: And I remember my manager at a certain point stopped CCing my parents on emails when I was that was maybe like 17, but you know, it was like a slow kind of a slow burn to adulthood.
• 9:21
  Nick Barasch: Um, yeah.
• 9:23
  Lisa Hopkins: Well, is if I can with your permission, yeah, dig in deeper to you.
• 9:28
  Lisa Hopkins: So you're still talking about the outside forces, you're talking about your agents and your parents giving you permission to step into adulthood.
• 9:36
  Lisa Hopkins: But do you remember like a ha uh uh aha moment where you felt maybe, maybe I'm I don't know, where it became more your own because it because you wanted it?
• 9:48
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, no, that's interesting.
• 9:50
  Nick Barasch: Um yeah, I think it probably I mean, the she loves me era of it all, like post-high school.
• 10:00
  Nick Barasch: I decided to not go to college.
• 10:01
  Nick Barasch: And that was a that was like you know, that was a decision that my parents I honestly well I ended up going to college, so I took a gap year after high school, and that was gonna be the plan.
• 10:13
  Nick Barasch: I would take a gap year, maybe work, audition a bit, whatever, and then go to college.
• 10:18
  Nick Barasch: And I think they just wanted me to try it, and so I agreed to that.
• 10:22
  Nick Barasch: I I was gonna go to Columbia full-time.
• 10:24
  Nick Barasch: When I took a gap year, I postponed that and I reapplied to their general studies program.
• 10:29
  Nick Barasch: So I ended up going part-time for like a couple semesters while auditioning.
• 10:34
  Nick Barasch: And I was like, this is not for me.
• 10:36
  Nick Barasch: Um, I, you know, I had to miss class a couple of times for auditions, and I was like, well, what's the point?
• 10:41
  Nick Barasch: I I can't, I cannot do both.
• 10:43
  Nick Barasch: So I think that was I felt probably like I had more agency then because I was making this call that my parents were supporting.
• 10:53
  Nick Barasch: Um and again, it did come at a cost.
• 10:57
  Nick Barasch: I mean, that part of me wishes I went to college, not for the education necessarily, but for the community.
• 11:04
  Nick Barasch: Like finding community for me has taken a long time and kind of has been like scattered throughout my 20s.
• 11:12
  Nick Barasch: And I'm just starting to find more of you know, more community.
• 11:17
  Nick Barasch: Um, so yeah, that was probably a turning point.
• 11:21
  Nick Barasch: Uh, but I feel like it's a succession of turning points.
• 11:24
  Nick Barasch: I mean, even now I feel much older and perhaps wiser than I did like even a year or two ago.
• 11:32
  Nick Barasch: Um and you know, with my therapist, we talk about how I never really had a true adolescence because it was kind of like this pod of me, my parents, my manager, like it was very insular, and I'm kind of in an in an adolescence now in my yeah, in my mid to late 20s.
• 11:51
  Nick Barasch: So, you know.
• 11:53
  Lisa Hopkins: That's great though.
• 11:55
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, it is, it is, and yeah, what's that like?
• 11:57
  Lisa Hopkins: How does that feel?
• 11:59
  Nick Barasch: Feels good.
• 12:00
  Nick Barasch: It feels like, you know, I think for the longest time, you know, the business and my career was everything, my whole world, and it no longer feels like that in a positive way.
• 12:11
  Nick Barasch: Um, I get to have a life too.
• 12:13
  Nick Barasch: So that's something that I'm like, hmm, yeah, that's good.
• 12:17
  Nick Barasch: I like it's not life or death, you know, the stakes are not as high as I always thought they were, you know.
• 12:24
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, and and like I said, it's normal for a child to think to feel, not really think, but to feel like the stakes are high.
• 12:34
  Lisa Hopkins: Yes, because the people that are taking care of them, I mean, we're primitively wired for that.
• 12:39
  Lisa Hopkins: So that it felt like that, right?
• 12:42
  Nick Barasch: Yes, totally, totally.
• 12:44
  Nick Barasch: That was my reality.
• 12:45
  Nick Barasch: So yeah, still no one's fault, but just how it happened.
• 12:49
  Lisa Hopkins: No, no, not it's totally natural.
• 12:50
  Lisa Hopkins: That's the thing, totally natural, but it can be well traumatizing, quite quite honestly.
• 12:57
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 12:58
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, no, for sure.
• 13:00
  Lisa Hopkins: And I bet you realized as soon as you started really stepping into being connected to your values, which it sounds like you're still really opening up to that.
• 13:08
  Nick Barasch: Yeah.
• 13:09
  Lisa Hopkins: Um, but it sounds like uh there's probably a realization that actually, no, your parents are totally aborted no matter what you decide.
• 13:18
  Lisa Hopkins: Right, of course, and that you take care of yourself, right?
• 13:21
  Nick Barasch: Like, yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, that kind of separating process.
• 13:27
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 13:27
  Lisa Hopkins: Wow, that's so interesting.
• 13:29
  Lisa Hopkins: I love that.
• 13:29
  Lisa Hopkins: That alone is just is well so fascinating to me, especially having having known you then.
• 13:34
  Lisa Hopkins: And then, like, there've been some like touch points, like you you just you did Jekyll with us for um and yeah, that was actually that was the beginning, the very beginning of my gap year.
• 13:45
  Nick Barasch: That was like, I am free and I'm gonna take a gap year.
• 13:48
  Nick Barasch: And that was one of the first projects I did was with you guys, yeah.
• 13:52
  Lisa Hopkins: Oh, that's so neat.
• 13:53
  Nick Barasch: I was that was right after she loved me, so I was 18.
• 13:55
  Nick Barasch: Yeah.
• 13:55
  Lisa Hopkins: And I bet you you weren't doing that because you thought it was some big career move, even though I'm sure you loved the work.
• 14:01
  Lisa Hopkins: Why did you do it?
• 14:03
  Nick Barasch: Well, you guys asked, and I love you guys, and it was and it was also like a great challenge.
• 14:09
  Nick Barasch: Like I remember it was a lot, it was like a lot of material, it was the lead role.
• 14:15
  Nick Barasch: And um, I also had performed at 54 below, and it was a fun week.
• 14:19
  Nick Barasch: I knew some other folks involved, and yeah, yeah, and it was fruitful.
• 14:23
  Nick Barasch: I mean, and that was also kind of like ooh, I get to just do this, I don't have to do school anymore.
• 14:29
  Nick Barasch: So that was kind of like a great I canwid, yeah.
• 14:34
  Nick Barasch: Act and sing, yeah.
• 14:36
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 14:36
  Lisa Hopkins: Well, that that's cool.
• 14:37
  Lisa Hopkins: And we were kind of like probably there was as you're as young Nick was sort of starting to you know fade into the into the past.
• 14:45
  Lisa Hopkins: I mean, he's always with you.
• 14:47
  Lisa Hopkins: I mean, I really truly believe that.
• 14:48
  Lisa Hopkins: But in turn, in terms of that young Nick thinking, um, it's interesting because maybe we were a bridge, maybe this is a sidebar, but a bridge because we were like family in a way, right?
• 14:58
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, totally.
• 14:59
  Nick Barasch: And there have been moments like that with with certain people along the way.
• 15:03
  Nick Barasch: I mean, even I mean, doing pirates, yeah.
• 15:05
  Nick Barasch: I mean, Scott Ellis, Warren Carlisle, Rupert Holmes, they've known me since I was 13.
• 15:10
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 15:11
  Nick Barasch: So while that was a a wonderful comfort in some ways, and it was also frustrating because my my scared little kid was often at the forefront of everything.
• 15:23
  Lisa Hopkins: For sure.
• 15:24
  Nick Barasch: So my my 13-year-old self was very triggered, but it was but it but it was so necessary to like go back almost and then kind of come out the other end as a adult.
• 15:36
  Nick Barasch: So it was kind of a cosmic thing.
• 15:39
  Lisa Hopkins: No, no, that makes perfect sense.
• 15:41
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, that's and what and what a gift, right?
• 15:43
  Nick Barasch: Oh, what a gift, it's kind of like radical acceptance, yes, yes, yeah, right, right.
• 15:48
  Nick Barasch: Really going accepting that that that kid, yeah.
• 15:52
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, what do you think is maybe the biggest lesson you've learned so far?
• 15:59
  Nick Barasch: Just in life, yeah.
• 16:01
  Nick Barasch: Oh my gosh.
• 16:02
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, yeah, throw me a softball, Lisa.
• 16:06
  Nick Barasch: Um, the biggest lesson.
• 16:10
  Nick Barasch: Ooh, I mean, I would say right now, I just have based, and a lot of this is just being a being an actor for so long.
• 16:20
  Nick Barasch: I think I based a lot of myself off of others' opinions, yeah, ideas of me.
• 16:27
  Nick Barasch: I'm constantly worrying about what other people think of me, and much less now because I'm reading this book called Homecoming by Tema Bryant, who's amazing.
• 16:37
  Nick Barasch: And just this idea of coming back home to yourself, that like this is a home, and we're safe in here.
• 16:46
  Nick Barasch: And it's actually not about getting that person's approval or winning that person over.
• 16:52
  Nick Barasch: I'm a chronic people pleaser, and so it's it's not about that.
• 16:57
  Nick Barasch: So the more I um learn to let go of that and come home to myself, and like another, you know, part of the theme of this book is telling yourself the truth, which feels like very radical almost in our culture right now, like to really be honest with yourself, radically honest, um, feels like just a skill that I'm wanting to improve.
• 17:21
  Lisa Hopkins: So why do you think that skill would would benefit you now?
• 17:27
  Nick Barasch: I mean, it would honestly just relieve so much stress about, you know, I'm an overthinker, and I think, yeah, the idea of coming home to myself, to my body, there's a letting go there that can happen and that I want to keep cultivating, especially in a career like this, in a life like this, that's so about performance.
• 17:51
  Nick Barasch: Like, you know, I'm a meditator, and that also kind of brings me back to myself.
• 17:58
  Nick Barasch: And um, yeah, I think that the benefits are endless and it's free.
• 18:05
  Nick Barasch: We can all do it, you know.
• 18:06
  Nick Barasch: Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 18:09
  Lisa Hopkins: No, 100%.
• 18:09
  Lisa Hopkins: What what's the rhythm of your day like?
• 18:13
  Nick Barasch: Uh I laugh because it it was it was a lot different two and a half weeks ago.
• 18:17
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, true.
• 18:18
  Nick Barasch: Uh yeah, I'm I'm still finding the rhythm post eight show week, which is like, I don't even know what that is.
• 18:27
  Nick Barasch: It's just a blur of running around and surviving almost.
• 18:34
  Nick Barasch: I mean, in this show, I mean, I don't know if you know this.
• 18:36
  Nick Barasch: I am not a dancer.
• 18:37
  Nick Barasch: I mean, I oh come on.
• 18:39
  Nick Barasch: Everybody's a dancer.
• 18:40
  Nick Barasch: I I I, you know, I faked it well, and Warren Carlisle turned me into one, but I was just exhausted all the time.
• 18:49
  Nick Barasch: I mean, the next time I have something that physical, I'll know that I need to like really work out, take care of my body in a way that's so so no, I'm just finding my rhythm now.
• 18:59
  Nick Barasch: I'm loving the freedom, the space.
• 19:01
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:02
  Nick Barasch: Uh, to not have every minute accounted for is a luxury.
• 19:06
  Nick Barasch: But I told myself after this show that I I need more structure in my life, just in general.
• 19:12
  Nick Barasch: So finding that and more community too, and just um entering spaces that maybe I would have been afraid to, or joining some class, or just you know, giving myself uh structure that so that it's not just the audition or the the act, or you know.
• 19:36
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 19:36
  Lisa Hopkins: It's interesting.
• 19:37
  Lisa Hopkins: The word I sorry, I I harp on the words with my clients.
• 19:41
  Lisa Hopkins: I'm like, structure, that's an interesting word choice, especially for someone who's lived such a structured life, structured by everything else.
• 19:49
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 19:50
  Lisa Hopkins: So if you were to to maybe, I don't know, reframe that word as something that really worked for you, about what you really what what would that be?
• 20:00
  Nick Barasch: I mean, right, yes.
• 20:02
  Nick Barasch: I I think honestly, like giving myself projects, things that I'm passionate about, things that I can look forward to working on every day, um, so that I'm not at the beck and call of some force that might grant me a job.
• 20:21
  Nick Barasch: You know, it's like so.
• 20:23
  Nick Barasch: I think it's more about, yeah, if if structure is not the word, then it would be like, I don't know, self-actualization in my days, like you know, something that I set out to do that I don't need anyone's kind of anyone to sign off on, you know.
• 20:43
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 20:43
  Lisa Hopkins: It it's interesting because what I'm hearing underneath what you're saying is is balance that won't be disrupted.
• 20:54
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 20:55
  Lisa Hopkins: So so I understand what you mean.
• 20:57
  Lisa Hopkins: Like it would make sense, knowing you and knowing just even what you've just told me, that you're used to structure, you're used to the structure of an eight-week show or of an agent, or you know, your whole life has been structured.
• 21:09
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 21:09
  Lisa Hopkins: Um, and I and I understand that you don't want to be at the back and call.
• 21:13
  Lisa Hopkins: However, you also acknowledge that that is the life of an actor.
• 21:18
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 21:19
  Lisa Hopkins: So, but but when you say structure and your brain knows all that data, you could have been talking about what you do.
• 21:26
  Nick Barasch: Right, right.
• 21:27
  Nick Barasch: Yeah.
• 21:28
  Lisa Hopkins: You said projects, you said work, yeah.
• 21:29
  Lisa Hopkins: Passion.
• 21:30
  Lisa Hopkins: That's exactly what you do, Nick.
• 21:32
  Nick Barasch: Yeah.
• 21:33
  Lisa Hopkins: You work on projects you're passionate about.
• 21:35
  Lisa Hopkins: And and what I'm hearing you say is because you, you know, you've grown, you've grown vertically, let's say, right?
• 21:42
  Lisa Hopkins: You've grown, you've definitely risen, as they say, in in your field, and will continue to.
• 21:46
  Lisa Hopkins: There's no doubt if you want to keep doing that, you will.
• 21:49
  Lisa Hopkins: Um, and that's just about a series of choices and and opportunities and and a lot of things you can't control.
• 21:55
  Lisa Hopkins: I know that if you want to do it, you will control your vessel and you will take care of your body.
• 22:00
  Lisa Hopkins: I know you will.
• 22:01
  Lisa Hopkins: So I I don't I don't worry about that.
• 22:03
  Lisa Hopkins: But what I'm what I'm what I'm hearing, and you tell me if you think this is true, because I could be totally wrong.
• 22:08
  Lisa Hopkins: But what I'm hearing is that you're you're yearning for something that you create that won't go away when right?
• 22:21
  Lisa Hopkins: That honor, it's like something you honor and value, yes, that doesn't go away when when you get drawn that way.
• 22:28
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, totally.
• 22:29
  Nick Barasch: That's it.
• 22:29
  Nick Barasch: That's it.
• 22:30
  Nick Barasch: I think it's yes, finding um, yeah, more consistent kind of outlets.
• 22:38
  Nick Barasch: And they don't have to be creative.
• 22:39
  Nick Barasch: I mean, it could be a silly hobby, or it could just be, you know, doing things with friends that I mean, I took a hike the other day, you know, upstate, and that felt so you know, I didn't tell anyone, you know, it was by myself, you know.
• 22:56
  Nick Barasch: I and it that in a way felt like structure.
• 22:59
  Nick Barasch: It could be that, you know, it felt like um something that I could go do that where I'm I'm the leader, and I'm saying, okay, we're going, we're going on a hike now, you know.
• 23:12
  Nick Barasch: Totally.
• 23:13
  Lisa Hopkins: You're the chef.
• 23:13
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 23:14
  Lisa Hopkins: What I don't know if you cook or whatever, but I'm I what came up for me was it's your own recipe.
• 23:18
  Lisa Hopkins: You want to plot your own recipe.
• 23:21
  Nick Barasch: Love that.
• 23:21
  Nick Barasch: Love that.
• 23:22
  Nick Barasch: Yeah.
• 23:23
  Lisa Hopkins: So what do people most often get wrong about you?
• 23:25
  Lisa Hopkins: Do you do you do you have a sense of that?
• 23:28
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, I think, I mean, I think because I lead with a lot of uh, you know, I'm a pretty kind of smiley, you know, positive person, I would say.
• 23:41
  Nick Barasch: So I think people don't know how, I mean, for example, hard on myself I am.
• 23:48
  Nick Barasch: So I I shared that with them, or or how critical I am.
• 23:53
  Nick Barasch: And I think that comes from being really critical of myself.
• 23:56
  Nick Barasch: I mean, I don't know if you know the Enneagram, but I'm a one on the Enneagram.
• 24:01
  Lisa Hopkins: Okay.
• 24:01
  Nick Barasch: We're we're the perfectionists, we're the most hard on ourselves.
• 24:05
  Nick Barasch: Um and, you know, and I think that is something that I continue to work on because it it tightens me up in a way that isn't helpful in in all ways.
• 24:18
  Nick Barasch: So it's always for me like loosening the the screws.
• 24:22
  Nick Barasch: And um so yeah, people might not might not know that that's kind of my that's what's going on under under here.
• 24:30
  Lisa Hopkins: Is it even important that they know that to you?
• 24:32
  Nick Barasch: Um, I mean, sometimes I think I I I think of pirates because that's kind of the last yeah project I did, but um I think it was important for some people to know.
• 24:44
  Nick Barasch: I mean, my my closest kind of castmates to just you know to just hear me out and I can get to them.
• 24:51
  Nick Barasch: And I mean, shout out to Jinx Monsoon, who's become such a pal, and she's just nice incredible, and also has a has a bit of the overthinking thing.
• 25:01
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, she she gets it and got it and helped me through a lot of spirals that I had, and uh so that was nice to kind of yeah, to share that and be heard, seen.
• 25:15
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, oh that's brilliant.
• 25:16
  Lisa Hopkins: I love that.
• 25:17
  Lisa Hopkins: What's the worst advice you've ever been given?
• 25:21
  Nick Barasch: Oh my goodness, it would probably be along the lines of like, you know, probably like a some teacher workshop that I took that was just so hellbent on results, I think as an actor performer, like if you do this, you'll get this.
• 25:42
  Nick Barasch: Like any any of those like false promises that are just like someone's BS kind of idea of what you should do.
• 25:51
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, so I don't know.
• 25:52
  Nick Barasch: That's kind of vague, but no, that's that's not vague.
• 25:55
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, I mean, yeah, if you if you act a certain way, if you present yourself in this way, you will need something.
• 26:02
  Nick Barasch: Like, what does that even mean?
• 26:04
  Lisa Hopkins: No, no, I love that.
• 26:07
  Lisa Hopkins: Well, and this the whole shoulding thing, right?
• 26:09
  Lisa Hopkins: I mean, yes, the shoulding.
• 26:11
  Lisa Hopkins: Well, I you know what I call I should?
• 26:13
  Lisa Hopkins: I could with shame.
• 26:15
  Nick Barasch: Ooh, wow.
• 26:17
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, that's real.
• 26:21
  Nick Barasch: I could with shame.
• 26:23
  Nick Barasch: Right.
• 26:25
  Nick Barasch: There's so much shame in there.
• 26:27
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 26:28
  Nick Barasch: From all angles, right?
• 26:31
  Lisa Hopkins: Oh, what are you the most afraid of?
• 26:35
  Nick Barasch: Oh, that's a fun one.
• 26:36
  Nick Barasch: Um, ooh, man.
• 26:39
  Nick Barasch: I mean, I think probably what it used to be is.
• 26:45
  Nick Barasch: I mean, it might sound like a broken record, but yeah, people, you know, people being wrong about me, people underestimating me, people shaming me in some way.
• 26:57
  Nick Barasch: I think I've spent a lot of my life shaming myself.
• 27:00
  Nick Barasch: So I think it's it's probably an internal fear that comes from my own kind of stuff.
• 27:07
  Nick Barasch: I but I also think what's coming to mind now is is honestly holding myself back.
• 27:14
  Nick Barasch: I think like getting in my own way is a fear of mine.
• 27:19
  Nick Barasch: Um and it's it's only me.
• 27:22
  Nick Barasch: It's only me to contend with, you know, like but it's it's something that I'm I think I'm slowly dismantling, or at least I'm accepting when when that fear is there, to accept that I am afraid instead of being like, no, I'm not afraid.
• 27:38
  Nick Barasch: Like maybe you are, and that's okay, you know.
• 27:41
  Lisa Hopkins: Totally.
• 27:42
  Lisa Hopkins: And you know, what I believe is that these these our inner critic, our gremlins, you know, these things that try to scare us and make us feel small, they're just trying to keep us safe.
• 27:55
  Nick Barasch: Yes, right.
• 27:57
  Lisa Hopkins: And we created them, right?
• 27:58
  Nick Barasch: The irony of that, yeah.
• 28:00
  Lisa Hopkins: What I've learned in you know, in in what I do now is that people try to get rid of them.
• 28:06
  Lisa Hopkins: Yes.
• 28:07
  Lisa Hopkins: And what I propose is that you invite them in and you get curious and you say, I I'm getting that message that I'm not good enough, let's say, as an example, and you know, or you know, I gotta kill myself in order to succeed.
• 28:25
  Lisa Hopkins: Right.
• 28:26
  Lisa Hopkins: Um, and that that may have helped me sometime.
• 28:29
  Lisa Hopkins: And you could probably remember when you first heard that message.
• 28:33
  Lisa Hopkins: But you invite your gremlin in and you say, Thank you.
• 28:36
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, thank you for keeping me safe.
• 28:39
  Lisa Hopkins: It really helped.
• 28:40
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, but guess what?
• 28:42
  Lisa Hopkins: I don't need you for that anymore.
• 28:44
  Lisa Hopkins: But you don't have to go.
• 28:46
  Lisa Hopkins: I have a new job for you.
• 28:48
  Lisa Hopkins: Yes, something that you can really help me.
• 28:50
  Lisa Hopkins: It's rescripting, right?
• 28:51
  Nick Barasch: Oh, it's so good.
• 28:52
  Nick Barasch: I'm curious what what it what would be the new job for those grammars.
• 28:56
  Lisa Hopkins: That would be up to you.
• 28:58
  Nick Barasch: Yeah.
• 28:59
  Lisa Hopkins: Essentially, you take the old message, you get curious and about it, you you remember when you you know how it helped you.
• 29:06
  Lisa Hopkins: You actually acknowledge that it did help you at some point.
• 29:09
  Lisa Hopkins: Right, it did help you from not being embarrassed.
• 29:11
  Lisa Hopkins: If you didn't memorize your lines for the school play, you would be embarrassed.
• 29:15
  Nick Barasch: Right, right.
• 29:16
  Lisa Hopkins: All your friends would laugh at you, yeah.
• 29:18
  Lisa Hopkins: I mean, that's real.
• 29:21
  Nick Barasch: Totally.
• 29:21
  Lisa Hopkins: Right?
• 29:22
  Lisa Hopkins: But you're a professional now, yeah.
• 29:24
  Lisa Hopkins: And and what happens is what happens is that we carry these old thing, old messages with us because we haven't taken the time to a thank them, yeah, and and to update them with a new message.
• 29:38
  Lisa Hopkins: So you might come up with like for you, what would what would a new message be that serves you more powerfully right now in your life today?
• 29:46
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, I think it's like you can't you can't go wrong.
• 29:50
  Nick Barasch: Something along the lines of you know, perfection doesn't exist, you can be messy, you can make mistakes, you know.
• 30:00
  Nick Barasch: Um perfection is a complete illusion.
• 30:05
  Nick Barasch: I realized that my whole life I thought that there was this thing called perfection.
• 30:10
  Nick Barasch: I really did, really believed that.
• 30:12
  Nick Barasch: Yeah, and it's just not a thing, it's not a thing, and um so yeah, I think giving myself permission to to make mistakes, to like.
• 30:22
  Nick Barasch: really make mistakes forgive myself for them yeah I think just like try like what's the worst thing that could happen if you just go for it it's it's kind of uh just go for it I love it yeah just let letting yourself go there letting yourself um really be unabashed and just free yeah and not only on stage but in real life real life yes yes so if you had to choose um one highlight and one low light from your career so far or your life I mean it doesn't have to be your career highlight and a low light yeah I think the lowlights often come when I don't have when I have a lot of free time to myself and a lot of time to think and overthink without you know kind of unchecked I I would say so a couple winters I mean 2024 was was a a tougher year for me I think I was isolating more um which I think I needed to do in a way but it's not healthy like you need to be around people more we're social creatures um so wait wait so you need to you said you like you the royal we the royal we yes what about what about you what does Nick need well well good guess good point I think I I do require more solitude than the average person so I will own you require it or do you want it or both uh both yeah I I it is sorry I'm being hard on you because I know you yeah it's a it's a value of mine I I will say um but it can go too far and so leaning on others you know last year I was like okay I need to I need to lean on others more um because we can't we can't go it alone um highlights I mean I mean what comes to mind is is getting to live in Vancouver and and do a TV show for eight months.
• 32:33
  Nick Barasch: That was pretty fun.
• 32:35
  Nick Barasch: Cool I did I didn't know you did that in Vancouver I did and I I met some lifelong friends on that gig and it was it was interesting because I you know coming from the theater world and musical theater in particular you get so close and you get so intimate and so I I approached that job like I'm not gonna make any friends I just have to keep my head down like do a good job not get fired.
• 32:57
  Nick Barasch: Like that was and I ended up like having the you know the most fun with the people and perhaps making more friends than I have on on theater jobs.
• 33:08
  Nick Barasch: So that was kind of just an interesting thing how you can go into something with these expectations that are just like ah what are those?
• 33:16
  Nick Barasch: So that was awesome experience and I had a blast and it was challenging.
• 33:21
  Nick Barasch: It was kind of like everything you'd want in an artistic endeavor um and totally unexpected you know because I just was so unfamiliar with that world so it was a cool kind of entrance into that world.
• 33:34
  Nick Barasch: Yeah no totally is that something that you you want to explore more deeply like did that sort of give you the bug oh totally totally I mean I think it's like kind of the like the cliche of like you know once you do one medium you kind of crave the other and you want to keep I mean I I I always feel kind of um like that will be kind of what what happens that I'll always kind of want to dip my toe back in in something else and yeah being um motivated by variety you know did you feel refreshed when you came back from it?
• 34:07
  Nick Barasch: Yeah I did I did I mean it was also just a confusing time because then we had the strike and it was like it was a lot of change in my life so it was kind of like and I also hadn't lived in New York really like a full human since like pre-pandemic.
• 34:25
  Nick Barasch: So I it was just like oh my God okay I'm 25.
• 34:28
  Nick Barasch: I haven't really lived in New York in a long time on my own I I ended a relationship I moved apartments that there was the job and it was just like so much change.
• 34:39
  Nick Barasch: But no it I think it it it reignited some kind of spark and I was like oh cool you can like be really creatively um fulfilled in some other planet it felt like and then yeah that's neat what do you think you might do if performing arts wasn't a thing like if you didn't do that oh man I would definitely still act out scenes by myself I love it for no one um uh performing arts with does that include writing because I might write if that's still oh that's interesting sure where wherever you want to go with it yeah uh yeah I mean I think I love affecting people so I think it would have to be something where I'm really engaging with people if it's not performing for them it would be connecting trying to help people in in some way shape or form yeah because I mean you're in the service industry now right yeah I love looking at it that way yeah well I think it's absolutely true yeah I mean I I feel the same way is that daunting to you like would that be a would that be difficult for you but for some reason it just stopped if if it just stopped um I think it would be scary but I I think I would accept it but I think it's really brave perhaps even more brave sometimes to to to take a break or to um explore another aspect of life you know um yeah so I I love that I would hope that I would welcome that should that is there anyone you look at that you kind of go wow that would be cool or be yeah I mean yeah there's definitely something about just being able to predict to like plan your vacation and like really know that like in six months I will be on vacation and until then I will be working you know there's something about having that yeah dare I say structure but you know like the the kind of you know to to be able to really look ahead uh would would be cool on the other hand this life is also addicting and exciting because you can't predict anything and yeah maybe that's something that everyone should experience I don't know yeah it's a beautiful paradox and and I mean and I mean it's interesting because if you talk about especially because you started professionally as a child yeah that it it's changed from being um uh design for you yeah to you designing yourself yes yes five years from now no let's do one year from now first one year from now you and I reconnect and again and chat and you say Lisa oh my god what will we be celebrating uh celebrating ooh um in a year from now ooh I think just uh having lived through some more joyful experiences and celebrating that you know uh I think something I have talked in therapy about is that like all the suffering is in the the kid like the younger version of myself uh and I I think I read something that like pain is inevitable but suffering is unnecessary it's optional or optional right and I just I love that because I'm here for the pain but the suffering is a different animal and I'm you know looking forward to letting letting go of that so it so in a year if I said hey this was my most joyful year yet that would be awesome I love that and what about five years from now well maybe I have a dog maybe I won't live here anymore I don't know I think it would maybe be more celebrating like life events maybe that yeah that aren't necessarily you know career but can you zoom out 10 years can I zoom out oh 10 years so how okay I'd be 37 I don't know I think I mean I have a dream of of moving to Santa Fe at some point.
• 38:57
  Nick Barasch: No way how um I just fell in love with it and we went on vacation there as a family and I've been back a couple times but there's something about the desert also just physically like my skin feels good my hair I don't know what it is being like a lifelong New Yorker in this like moist hot growth like just you know it's like the opposite of that and I was so attracted to that and the fact that it's so artistic and there's amazing food and I'm such a foodie and what's your definition of living in the moment I mean it's so simple right it it's like the only thing we really have um it's like a check-in with yourself which is the only thing you can really really control and it's something that I always always try to get back to.
• 39:51
  Nick Barasch: I mean I really feel like that's the goal um to live in the moment and mindfully and um I do think that I'm I'm lucky that I get to practice acting because that is the practice of living in the I mean I get to do to practice that as my job and that is really a gift.
• 40:15
  Nick Barasch: So it's all related but man living in the moment that is that is everything yeah yeah what do you know will stay true about you no matter what happens ooh um I would say I I've I do have a lot of integrity I will give myself that and so uh I know that when push comes to shove I will stand by my values especially like with other people I mean if if something is smells fishy to me like it's I am it's a no for me.
• 40:58
  Nick Barasch: So I I will say I I that has been pretty unchanging uh I'm a Libra moon so peace and justice are very important to me.
• 41:10
  Nick Barasch: So yeah I would say that.
• 41:14
  Nick Barasch: What do you think younger self would be really proud of ooh um I think I think I think he'd be proud I mean in a general sense I mean how far I've come in terms of like really getting to know myself and and working on myself.
• 41:40
  Nick Barasch: And I think at this point, you know there they're I'm not I'm not shutting him out like we were talking about earlier I am trying to embrace him as much as I can and um yeah and because the the the he the kid was so so strict and hard on himself.
• 42:05
  Nick Barasch: And I think that is that is like my biggest that is the biggest kind of lesson arc in my life is learning how to how to not do that to forgive myself for it.
• 42:19
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
• 42:19
  Nick Barasch: Yeah I think he'd be I think he'd be proud of that how do you want to be remembered oh my gosh like after I'm gone I think I'd like to be remembered for for having integrity for for being kind and and curious like open I wouldn't want anyone to remember me as like too closed or fixed you know someone who is still learning like to the end you know so that yeah I would say that I'm smiling at you I'll stop um do you notice do you notice what you did?
• 42:57
  Lisa Hopkins: There's a pattern pattern recognition is everything.
• 43:00
  Lisa Hopkins: No one is you talked about somebody else first which was beautiful I did I did but um two two is that you said what what you thought but then you qualit qualified it with what you don't because I don't want them to think this oh yeah that's true I did say that it's interesting right yeah yeah I mean and I mean and it is in the question too right like remembered by whom I don't know yeah I guess I guess that's true I mean okay that's that's a good point right so yeah no that's a great point so you're on your deathbed at 105 at 105 yeah and uh and what do you want your last thought to be how do you want to feel I guess is really the question right is that a good question yeah I think I mean I think gratitude for sure I think it would have to be I was just about to talk about someone else but I but I think yeah I mean if you're if you're if you're leaving with a lot of angst or hangups that feels really sad to me.
• 44:19
  Lisa Hopkins: I think if I'm leaving I think if if I'm leaving with a lot of angst and so I'm just saying if I'm leaving yeah if if you yes if someone if I'm leaving right with so again wait wait I'm gonna stop you this might not be on the podcast I'm gonna stop you because don't you're still talking about what you don't want that wouldn't be good.
• 44:37
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah so I'm gonna yeah no no no that's a good point that's a good point yeah so just take take a moment seriously take a moment and and I mean think of this as an an acting exercise except you are you you know the character is you and the life the story is your life story and and you are lying there having lived a you know a long life um and 105 105 and how do you how do you feel how do you how do you want to feel how would you write that yeah I think I would want to feel grateful for sure grateful for it all you know the the the the hard moments as as much as the as the great moments yeah I love that all right let's play what makes you hungry like literally hungry what makes me hungry whatever comes to mind oh my god I mean just I mean art I love art and I'm always hungry for it always what makes you sad oh I think when others are sad it makes me sad what inspires you nature what frustrates you my own mind and the state of the world right now I mean let's be real yeah yep what uh what makes you laugh oh stupid shit silly shit do you like to laugh I love to laugh oh yeah that's great right yeah what makes you angry anger anger is a tough one for me oh interesting I think just injustice honestly yeah yeah what makes you grateful oh I mean my days right now just getting up and deciding what I want to do in the day choice I guess yeah I love that what are the top three things that have happened so far today um well obviously this conversation is one of them um oh I had a nice conversation with my barista this morning and and a couple text exchanges that were nice what's something that you're looking forward to today um honestly cleaning and like organizing my I have a lot of that to do nice is it important for you to have a clear space it is important and I don't tend to it as much as I'd like to yeah so you have the time hence your grateful to the I literally yes I have the time and what's something that you're looking forward to in the future I think I'll say opportunities opportunities um having multiple opportunities uh and it could be career or just um life things yeah I uh I don't want to let you go oh my god what a pleasure to chat with you I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to be in the moment with me truly thank you it was really a pleasure what a great conversation right I knew it would be I've been speaking today with Nick Barash I'm Lisa Hopkins thanks so much for listening stay safe and healthy everyone and remember to live in the moment in music stop time is that beautiful moment where the band is suspended in rhythmic unison supporting the soloists to express their individuality in the moment I encourage you to take that time and create your own rhythm.
• 48:41
  Lisa Hopkins: Until next time I'm Lisa Hopkins thanks for listening