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Why Narcissists want to pretend that NOTHING HAPPENED · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we're going to be talking about why narcissists love to
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  pretend like nothing has happened.
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  Like, not like they haven't done anything to you after an
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  argument or after the silent treatment or something like
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  that. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
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  Narcissist Code. Welcome back folks, welcome
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  back, welcome back, welcome back.
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  My my change of clothes right here.
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  Yes. Why do narcissistic people love
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  it? Love to pretend like they
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  haven't done anything, like nothing has transpired, like
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  nothing has happened after an argument and whatnot.
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  Y'all, before we hop deep in today's episode, if you haven't
• 1:05
  already, make sure that you go ahead and subscribe to my other
• 1:10
  page. It's called Lee actions L EE dot
• 1:13
  actions. I do reactions and things like
• 1:15
  that over there. I do story time, text message
• 1:17
  breakdowns, voicemails, all the all the above over on my my
• 1:21
  other YouTube channel. Subscribe and check it out.
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  But yes, yes, yes, y'all narcissistic people love to
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  avoid accountability. Yeah, it's, it's just a, it's
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  just a damn staple of a toxic relationship with a narcissist,
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  right? Because I don't want to be held
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  accountable, but I know I've done something wrong.
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  And the easiest way, other than blaming you for everything, the
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  easiest way for me to avoid accountability is to just act
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  like nothing has happened, even if I've given you the silent
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  treatment for an entire month. Like we literally live in the
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  same house, haven't spoke, just seeing each other in the same
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  house. Like we damn near roommates.
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  We sleep in the same bed. Not a word has been said.
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  And then on day 32, I just hate, I say, hey big head, fancy
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  seeing you in the kitchen. You want something that you want
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  some milk with this cereal? You want some orange juice.
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  How you doing? How you feeling today like
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  nothing has happened like and you confused as hell.
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  Like what you, you going to act like you you going to pretend
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  like you haven't not spoken to me in 31 days, huh?
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  What? And if you question him on it,
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  guess what? You are now the enemy.
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  Now you like to bring up the now you living in the past.
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  Now you like now you're a drama king or drama queen.
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  This is the mindset and the mentality of toxic,
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  narcissistic, abusive people. It's just easier y'all.
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  Let's just keep it hot and ready.
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  It's easier to just say no. It's easier to just say.
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  To just not say anything after a long silent treatment, or not
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  even just after the silent treatment, after, not even just
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  after the silent treatment, after a huge argument or blow up
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  fight. They're yelling and screaming at
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  you, punching the steering wheel, punching holes in the
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  wall, throwing stuff at you, threatening to harm you.
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  So then sent you a barrage of evil messages with some vitriol,
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  some vitriolic messages and emails and stuff.
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  Now they're pretending like nothing, like they ain't said
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  nothing, like you just don't know, like you, like you have no
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  idea what the hell you were talking about, right?
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  This happens to so many people. It just does.
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  And it's the easiest way to avoid accountability And some
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  sometimes narcissists to avoid confrontation.
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  Like like I said, some narcissists don't or not or, or
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  non confrontational, right? The covert narcissists tend to
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  be non Co non confrontational. Sometimes they'll, they'll be
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  passive aggressive. So in order in order to be
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  passive aggressive, I had to pretend like nothing has
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  happened, like nothing has went down, right?
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  So in order to avoid this confrontation that I don't
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  really want to have, I'm going to pretend like nothing has
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  happened. Why wouldn't I?
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  You know, in order to avoid confrontation, in order to avoid
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  is just feeling weird, in order to avoid feeling bad about
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  myself, I'm just going to pretend like nothing at all has
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  happened. And that's the easiest way for
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  me to just get past stuff. That's the easiest way for me to
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  survive. That's the easiest way for me to
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  just to go on and move on with my life.
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  That's just easy. It's easy.
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  Like Sunday morning. It really is.
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  So you're dealing with a toxic, narcissistic, abusive ass
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  person. Understand that right there,
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  y'all? It's something that you have to
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  understand when you're dealing with somebody that has this type
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  of mentality that they're going to do stuff like this all the
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  time and they're going to feel and they're going to feel
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  justified to do it. You know what I mean?
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  They're going to feel, they're going to feel justified to do
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  it. I was just telling you like
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  every time you deal with an artist, right and they're doing
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  this type of stuff and just acting a monkey and just being
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  ridiculous and just acting stupid, they're going to feel
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  justified in their actions and their behaviors because the
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  relationship prolonged progresses because did y'all
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  don't break up. And this is not me trying to
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  victim blind. I know people like Willie.
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  This sounds victim blaming. This is not me victim blaming.
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  This is just give you the inside inside scope on how a narcissist
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  mind works. Like if I'm not being held
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  accountable for anything that I've done, then why would I feel
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  bad? You see what I'm saying?
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  Why would I say if I'm not being held accountable for anything,
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  then why would I feel bad? Why would I?
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  Why? Why would I hold myself to
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  account? Why would I hold myself to task?
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  You see what I'm saying? This is the mindset, the
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  mentality of a toxic, narcissistic, abusive person.
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  This is literally how it goes. And so many people are going to
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  experience this dynamic. So many people are going to
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  experience this mindset and this, this like this kind of
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  like argument avoidance, accountability avoidance.
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  You're going to experience it. And I said, there's no, it's not
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  your fault. You're going through this.
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  This is not me just trying to say, oh, you need to leave
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  immediately. Because I know, I know that
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  everybody, I know that everybody's personal situation,
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  relationship situation is going to be different.
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  I understand that from it like I, I really do.
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  So this is me. You're trying to help wake y'all
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  up that you sometimes you can't have these conversations with
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  this type of person because they don't want to have it.
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  And guess what? If they pretend like nothing has
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  happened and you try to bring up what has happened, if you try to
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  remedy whatever has happened, prepare to argue.
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  Prepare for damn near prepare for battle because we're going
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  to be arguing, we're going to be fussing and we're going to be
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  fighting and I'm going to blame you for it.
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  I'm going to put it on to you as to why everything is going on
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  the way it is going on. I'm going to put it on to you.
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  It's going to be your fault, right?
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  You're going to feel this because it's going to be on you.
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  I'm going to put it on to you because you, because we're
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  together, right? We're together.
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  We're making this type of stuff happen.
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  So now you're going to get the brunt of my anger.
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  I'm going because you now you should.
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  Now you're not trying to let now you're not trying to let me
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  avoid accountability. So now I have to be mad as hell.
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  Now I have to be super angry. Now I have to get furious.
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  And this is what's going to happen to so many people.
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  Like when you try to have this conversation like, well, Lee,
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  how do we talk to them? Sometimes you can't.
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  How do we communicate with them? How do we handle those, those
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  problems? Sometimes you can't.
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  They're they're not going to let you.
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  It's going to be an argument all the time.
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  It's going to be a fussing and fighting time dynamic all the
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  time. It's going to keep happening
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  over and over and over. Like sometimes you can't talk to
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  these people. They don't want to be reasoned
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  to it. They don't want to, they don't
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  want to see right hand argue. They don't, they don't want to
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  see right hand fuss and fight. That's the reason they're trying
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  to avoid the conversation in the 1st place, right?
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  So if I'm trying to avoid the conversation in the 1st place,
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  then I'm we're not going to be having this conversation point
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  blank period. So it's very, it's a very tough
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  ordeal to even deal with y'all. It's a very tough thing to deal
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  with to experience this type of personality dynamic.
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  Like they want to avoid accountability, they want to be
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  helped. They want, want to avoid this
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  shame that comes along with arguing over something minor.
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  Especially if y'all arguing over something super minor, then hell
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  yeah. They, they absolutely are going
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  to try to avoid pretending that nothing like like nothing has
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  happened whistling. And you know, another reason
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  they try to pretend like nothing happened is because they, they,
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  because it allows them to feel, to make you feel less than you
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  sitting right here, you're thinking like, well damn, they
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  don't really care about me at all, do they?
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  Because if they care, they would say this, they care, they would
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  do this. And you're feeling in a certain
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  type of way because they hurt you, aren't you?
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  You're feeling in a certain type of way because they've done
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  something heinous to you and you're feeling it and you're sad
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  as hell. And it's understandable that you
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  feel that way. Why wouldn't you feel that way
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  if somebody hurt you? It's OK to feel that way because
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  you've been hurt. You know what I mean?
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  They want you to feel less than they want you to question your
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  worth and their your value in their life.
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  They want this type of stuff to happen.
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  They want this type of stuff to play out.
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  They want it. They absolutely do.
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  So part of this dynamic, part of this space that you fall into,
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  it just does require some people sometimes it requires you to
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  just take a step back. It requires you to just
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  understand and try to find that self love and self preservation
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  and things of that nature. It requires that type of stuff
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  right there. It does, you know, so it's baby
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  steps in the right direction to get to where you want to get to,
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  but you can get there. And like I said, you just can't
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  communicate with these people. Sometime you have to sometime
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  you have to find the answer in their in their actions and in
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  their in their behaviors. You know, I know this is about
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  the answer a lot of people want to hear.
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  Like Lee, that doesn't help us out.
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  Lee, you're useless, y'all. I've been called useless before
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  by my father and it made me a narcissist.
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  No, it happens though, y'all. It really does have to a lot of
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  people, but anyway, y'all, we'll wrap this thing up today.
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  Y'all literally had an amazing workshop in DC this past few
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  this past weekend had an amazing workshop in DC, the Washington
• 10:30
  DC Shout out to everybody who came through.
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  Shout out to everybody who's coming to the next one.
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  The next one. We're planning on doing what's
• 10:37
  today, the 19th. Planning on doing Dallas, TX in
• 10:39
  the next few weeks, like probably by the end of next
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  month. So Dallas, TX and we might do
• 10:43
  Houston in the same weekend, but probably not going to do both of
• 10:45
  them in the same weekend. We'll see anyway, y'all, thank
• 10:48
  you for tuning in. Make sure you subscribe to this
• 10:49
  channel. Subscribe to my other channel.
• 10:51
  And as always, y'all mental illness is out.
• 10:54
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 10:56
  I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
• 10:59
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 11:00
  to the channel. Help us reach more people and
• 11:02
  click on the screen to watch another video or to browse
• 11:04
  through another playlist. There's also a link on the
• 11:07
  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
• 11:09
  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 11:11
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 11:13
  video.