Latest / Chyange of Life Testimonies Scars and Wounds / L.O.J. Honor's Journey of Transformation Testimony.

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L.O.J. Honor's Journey of Transformation Testimony. · Chyange of Life Testimonies Scars and Wounds

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Music.
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From Senator Saints, this podcast the truth, you is or you ain't.
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Let's break down the facts, it's Minister Change, Minister Change.
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Blessings, blessings, blessings. Wonderful people with God, it's your boy Minister
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Change, the minister that meet
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people where they at and love on them like our Lord Jesus Christ does.
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I'd like to welcome my guest, Honor, to the Change of Life Testimonies from Senator Saints.
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What's going on, fam fam? Tell me how you feeling tonight, bro bro.
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Hey man, you know it's L.O.J. Honor up in the building, man.
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Salute to Brother Change, bro.
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It's blessed up in here in Jesus' name, man. God bless everybody watching.
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May the mighty blood of Jesus Christ be upon you in Jesus' name, man. Let's go.
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Amen, amen. Hey bro, we know God is good all the time, man. man.
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God already had this moment, man. He already had a plan while we was in our mother's womb.
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He already knew that we was going to do this dang thing right here,
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bro, bro. But we're going to start this interview off, man.
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What you telling the people, man? Where are you from, man? Where was you born and raised, bro, bro?
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Oh, man, dude. That's crazy, man. The Lord gave me a crazy life.
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You know what I'm saying? But I was born in Wenatchee, Washington.
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When I was one years old, I moved over to Moses Lake, Washington.
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And when I was eight years old, I moved over to Saudi Arabia till I was 13.
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When I was 13, I moved over to the back over here to the States to live with my sister.
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When I was 15, I moved to the Philippines and I went to high school there.
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And when I was 19, I came back over here to the States.
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You know what I'm saying? So I've been, you know what I'm saying?
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All over the world, man, in Jesus name.
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Amen. Amen. Look, the Lord was using you as a a vessel, bro.
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He wanted to get you that experience because he know all of that was going to
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be used for his glory, bro, bro.
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Hey, man, do you have a favorite Bible scripture, man, you like to go to,
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man, in a time of need? Is this a little scripture to comfort your soul, bro, bro?
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Man, bro, in the time of need, bro, I got to say my favorite Bible scripture
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in the time of need. Let me pull it up right here.
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I believe it's Philippians chapter four, verse, let's see, verse six in the time of need, man.
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It says, be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication
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with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God,
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which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Jesus.
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Man, I can't tell you how many times, bro, I've went through trials and sufferings in life, man.
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And it's the remembrance, bro, of always remembering what God has done, man.
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Always remembering of the time that he split the Red Sea for you,
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the time that he made a river and a wasteland for you, the time that he made
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a path through the wilderness for you, man.
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When you didn't know where it was going to go, you know what I'm saying?
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When you didn't know where the money was going to come from,
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how were you going to pay your bills, you know?
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The Lord has always provided, always came through, man.
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And that's just, that is a very important one to me, man. Every time I'm going
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through a struggle in Jesus name, I love that verse. Man.
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Whoa, bro. Hey, that's good, man. That's good. We always need those special
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verses, man, to give us an uplift, man.
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Because going through this life, man, sometimes we can have some days,
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man, that we'd be like, hey man, we want to give up.
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So we need that little boost, that little scripture that give you that little energy.
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It's just like boom, boom, boom, boom. Get you up and moving,
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brother. Most definitely. Most definitely. Hey, brother, honor, man.
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If somebody was to ask you about your character, man, a total stranger,
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how would you describe yourself, man?
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Man, I would just say, you know, I just say honor.
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You know what I mean? Like the way that I got my name, man, it's it's just something
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inside, you know, deep inside, man, that the Lord just planted inside of me, bro. bro.
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It's just the, one of the, my favorite Bible verses, man, is,
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you know, love knows none like this, that one would give his own life for his
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friend. You know what I'm saying, bro?
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And I would say, man, it's like, once I got love for you, bro,
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it's, it's till the end of the earth. You know what I'm saying?
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This is how Jesus wrote for us, man. And we're supposed to follow Jesus example,
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man. And Jesus had a lot of honor in Jesus name.
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So come on, bro. Yeah. Most definitely.
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Bro. Hey, bro, that's good, man. And as we go through, man, and all that honor
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and stuff like that, man, it's us being men.
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There's sometimes, man, that we have this pride thing, bro.
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So I was just wondering, man, when was the last time you cried, bro?
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Man, the last time I cried, man, I'm going to be honest, bro.
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It was whenever I was praying to my, probably like a few weeks ago,
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I was praying with my sister, you know what I'm saying? Over the phone and.
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I don't know exactly what exactly the conversation was about or why I called
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her, but I just remember, man, just praying and just thanking the Lord so much.
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Because, man, when I was lost in the streets, when I was lost living that life,
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man, that nobody, you know, should be living, bro.
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And my sister, she would always lift me up in prayer, you know,
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after I walked away from God. And she would always go to the Bible studies and
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have everyone pray for me and, you know, always have my, you know,
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she would always be lifting me up in prayer.
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She never she never shut me out. She never kicked me out, no matter how disrespectful
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I got, you know. And and I was just thanking God for that, man.
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And I just felt the Holy Spirit just came in the room, bro. And it just totally
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just wrecked me, bro. bro.
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I was like, just crying like a baby, man, because the love of God,
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man, that was in my sister, bro.
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And I know for a fact, man, if it wasn't for her prayers, bro,
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I would not be here right now, in Jesus' name.
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Hey, man, that's the intercessory prayer, bro.
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We all need that, man. That's those prayers that cover us, but sometimes we
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don't went to a state that we forget to cover ourselves.
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But that's those intercessory prayer, bro, that God hears and And it keeps us
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here on this earth, man. Amen. That's bro, bro, bro, bro.
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Man, that's most definitely good, bro. Amen.
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Just say right now, man. Me and you sitting here, we chopping it up,
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man. We having this conversation, man.
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What if God was to return right now, bro? You think you would be going to heaven or hell, man?
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Oh, man, dude. I'd be up in the air, bro. I'm going to be so excited and happy
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now. I'd be like, Jesus, come on, in Jesus' name.
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And I told y'all, now, now, you know what I'm saying? Come on. You said you wouldn't.
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Okay, okay. Well, we're rolling together, bro, because I know I'm going,
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we're going to be holding hands. We're going to be up out of this thing, bro.
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Rolling together, bro, rolling together, man. Hey, man, you know,
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man, life, man, you know, it's growing up, man, through our childhood history,
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man, and stuff like that. We have our ups and downs, man.
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But hey, bro, what is one of your happiest childhood memories,
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man, that you can remember?
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Man the happiest childhood memory that
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i can remember man let's see
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bro man it was just man back
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in the day bro when i was younger we didn't have
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like cell phones and tv and everything well
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we had tv but we didn't have no cell phones or like barely have
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video games you know what i'm saying so it was
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when all of us man and all the block kids
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would get together you know and we'd all play together outside you
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know what i'm saying go to my probably at my friend lalo's house
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right next door you know what i'm saying we'd go and jump
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on the trampoline bro all of us all 10 of us you
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know what i'm saying man probably like because those are like the probably the
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funnest memories of my life man being a kid man yes yes hey bro man that's good
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bro and it's nothing like those memories that's built man with your loved ones
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your friends the happiness of just that natural natural joy that God allow us, man,
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to just rejoice in at times in our life.
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Hey, brother Honor, this is the testimony moment, brother.
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This is when you talk about a sexual, a mental hurt, an incarceration,
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or anything in your life, man, that took you down, but you was able to hold
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on, man, and find a path back to strength, man, to getting yourself back on
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the right path and just trusting the Lord Jesus Christ, brother.
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This is your moment to share your testimony, on it, brother.
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So come on with it, brother. All right. Holy Spirit, man. Just speak through me right now, Lord.
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Well, man, I will say this, you know.
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Well, when my when my life started here in the States, man, you know,
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there's a lot of just a lot of bad role models inside of my life, man.
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There's just a lot of gangs, man. Of course, you know, we're from the hood, man.
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Any any hood has gangs, you know what I'm saying? Drugs and everything else, man.
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But so I grew up around that, man. I got a little bit influenced by it.
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And then I moved to Saudi Arabia and over there, kind of it was like a culture
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shock in a way, because it was a completely different environment,
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completely different people.
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You know, I was going through going to international school out there where
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it was like you had a Korean dude,
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you had a person from South Africa, you had someone from Portugal and Europe
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and then, you know, you're you and from Washington, bro. It's just it's crazy, man.
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And, you know, going through that, I would say it started to open up my mind
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a lot about, you know, life and everything else. And I went to 10 different
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schools in my lifetime, man.
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Everything from Christian schools, man, to public schools, to Catholic schools,
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to Islamic schools, to, you know what I'm saying, Montessori school.
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Like all the different types, man. And so it's just a lot of culture shock, man.
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A lot of not fitting in, a lot of just being, you know, kind of like being the
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outcast, man. man, one moment you got getting rooted in and then you ripped
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out of your nest the next, you know?
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So that's what I grew up, man. I grew up kind of like a lonely kid for a while. And I would say...
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Man, I got, when I was, I would say 11 years old, man.
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And this is why I tell people, man, be careful, man, of your,
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you know what I mean? Your friends.
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And I remember my friend told me this, bro, in Saudi Arabia.
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He was like, man, he said, whatever you do, bro.
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Like he told me, it's just like, man, don't, don't you watch,
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you know what I'm saying?
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Porn, bro. And I don't know, I was only 11 years old, bro. And my friend was
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like, don't, don't watch porn, bro.
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And I was was like what is that you know what i'm
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saying or like you know what i'm saying yeah yeah yeah you
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know what i'm saying a friend's house
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man and spending the night bro
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and then he like turned on this you know what i'm saying and i was like man
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this is crazy i had never seen nothing like that in my life and like i walk
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out of the room and i just know man ever since that night bro my life changed
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you know what i'm saying because like you know that that's where that seed was
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planted bro bro, inside of that friend's house, bro.
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And that's why I just tell the youth, man, be careful of your friends,
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because that led to an ongoing battle inside of my life, man,
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from the age of 13, when I moved back to the States and I got high speed internet.
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Bro, know what I'm saying?
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So just, you know what I'm saying? I didn't think it was, you know what I'm saying?
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Like, it was just an ongoing battle and just a silent one, you know,
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Something like you can't tell your friends, and even if you told your friends,
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they wouldn't understand, you know what I'm saying?
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Because they didn't have the spirit in them, you know?
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So, man, when I was 13, I started struggling with that bad, and I would try
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to quit, and then I'd relapse, man.
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And then I would feel guilty and shamed and everything else, bro.
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And at the same time, bro, that was a crazy time of my life, man.
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I'll tell you, that was like a lot of depression and anxiety,
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a lot, a lot of surrounding that, bro. nobody ever knew.
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Everybody looked at me like, you know, like, man, this guy is just,
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you know, like there's something weird about this guy. Like he's just, he's not friendly.
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He's not, you know, talking. He's just quiet by himself all the time.
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You know, it led to me like almost having like five anxiety attacks a day,
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you know, not having enough confidence, bro, to go order a milkshake from McDonald's.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Most definitely. Yeah, you know, and that totally,
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really, it really, really wrecked my life, man.
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And, you know, I ended up when I was 18 years old, man.
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So that started when I was living in the States at the age of 13.
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And then at 15, I moved to the Philippines. And that went all through high school, bro, like that.
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Like that loner kid, bro, that super outcast. You know what I'm saying? And when I was 19, whoa.
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And then, so let me backtrack a little bit.
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When i was 18 years old right so i was dealing with this addiction man and i
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was going through all of this alone bro and.
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When I was 18 years old, I remember this like it was yesterday.
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My sister, she was like, hey, you should come to us, you know,
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to this one event that we have going on in Portland, Oregon.
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And I was like, Portland, Oregon. And she was like, yeah, I was like,
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it's called Generation Unleashed.
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And this is before I knew Christ. And I was like, OK, you know,
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like and he said, I think it'll really help you out, you know.
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And I was like, all right, you know, and it was a four day ordeal.
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You know what I'm saying? There's prayer, worship and sermons and everything. thing.
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And I remember, you know, it was cool.
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And I remember that there was a couple of words that really did touch my heart.
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You know, like one of the sermons by, I think his name was John Gray.
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He said that the biggest weapon, yeah, he said the biggest weapon that the enemy
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will use against this generation is shame.
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You know what I'm saying? So I had a lot of shame inside of me,
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man. You know what I'm saying?
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But that weekend, bro, I remember I just wanted to know if God was real.
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And it took four days, man, the last day. On the last day, I was feeling discouraged.
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I was like, man, I still haven't experienced God for real. He hasn't showed me yet.
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And I remember at that moment, I was thinking that the pastor said,
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he was like, hey, if anybody here wants to know the Lord Jesus Christ for real
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and have a true encounter with him. You know what I'm saying?
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I want you to raise your hand. And so I rose my hand and he said,
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I want everybody in here to close your eyes.
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And then so everyone closed their eyes, right?
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And he said, for everyone who rose your hand, I want you to walk to the straight,
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walk to the, you know what I mean, to the altar.
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So at this point, man, I'm starting to feel anxiety.
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I'm feeling fearful inside of my heart like and it was at the time i didn't
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realize it was demons bro like i thought that you know i just thought it was
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my own self and yeah exactly the altar man and i get there and.
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He says, recite this prayer. And it was like a sinner's prayer.
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You know what I mean? Like accepting the Lord Jesus into your heart and repenting of your sin.
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And when I did that, man, I just felt this love just come over me,
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like in waves, like, and like, as they were playing the worship,
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it was like, the drums were just beating through my body, like through my chest.
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It was a weird, crazy experience, man. And I, and then at that moment,
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I seen my life flash before before my eyes, you know, from the time I was a
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kid all the way till now, all of my most depressing, most hopeless times,
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God showed me pictures, actual moments where he was right there through every
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single time in my life that I felt worthless and hopeless.
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And, you know, and I was like, man, this is crazy. And he showed me a picture of heaven.
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Like I saw it, it looked pure and it it looked clean and and
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it looked just perfect and amazing and he said what is unclean cannot come here
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and that's when he gave me the revelation that i was cleansed by the blood of
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jesus my sins were washed by the blood of jesus yes and dude and like at that moment i just knew.
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Like, people ask me all the time, it's like, how do you know Christianity is true?
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Well, when you're filled with the Holy Spirit, you just know that it's true, bro.
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You know, like, you just know.
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And long story short, man, I opened my eyes, and there was like eight people praying over me, man.
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And like, you know, tears in my eyes, or I was trying not to cry,
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but man, I had tears in my eyes, bro. It was tears of joy, too, bro, that release.
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Yeah, and I felt this love, man, to everybody.
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It didn't matter who you were, like your grandma or your mom or random dude
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down the street or random person entering the grocery store.
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Bro, I felt that love for that person, that genuine, real love.
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And I remember, too, that I had a love for the word, right? Right.
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And this love for the word, it's just I just couldn't get enough of it.
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I just wanted to read and read and read and read.
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And well, long story short, man, that was when I was visiting the States and
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I ended up having to move back to the Philippines.
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Right. OK. So I moved back to the Philippines and I didn't have any discipleship.
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Nobody was there to, like, teach me or anything like that.
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So, you know, and that was like for a few weeks, man.
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And I was like staying close to the Lord for a few weeks. And I remember there
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was this time I got this really bad like throat, you know what I mean?
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Like throat sickness and I could barely like swallow anything and it was just
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painful. You know what I'm saying?
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And the Lord put this thought in my head. He said, pray over your throat.
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So I prayed over my throat and I remember that, that power, that feeling that,
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that filled me at when I got baptized in the Holy Spirit and it healed my throat on the spot.
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And then there was another time, bro, where my stomach was hurting super bad.
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Like I couldn't like stand up straight. Like I was like bent over, like it was hurt so bad.
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And I remember I did the same thing, the same thought, like pray over your stomach.
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So I prayed over my stomach, bro. And it just completely got healed.
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You know what I'm saying? That's God. Like, man, like, whoa.
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And like, dude, there's this dead coconut tree in my backyard in the Philippines, bro.
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And you know what I'm saying? Like it was completely dead.
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It was hollow inside there's a beehive growing in there
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and i prayed over the coconut tree bro and
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the coconut tree came back to life that's that faith bro that's that faith bro
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that's that faith they say if you give up a mustard seed you can move a mountain
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bro that's that faith bro these are real things that really happen man that's
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that faith bro bro and like but long but bro Bro, what ended up happening though,
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man, is like, I ended up falling, bro.
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Like I remember I was so close to the Lord, but you know, slowly sin started
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creeping in and not having discipleship and no one there to guide me or lead
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me or teach me, you know what I mean?
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And, and I, and I fell back into sin. I fell back into like that porn addiction, bro.
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And, and I just felt it was weird. it was like I grieved the Holy Spirit so
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bad, you know, that he ended up like, it was like he almost like he left.
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You know, now I know in my Christian walk, he doesn't really leave you,
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but you have to be continually filled with the Spirit, you know,
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you have to continue to refill it.
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But yeah, it felt like he left at the time. And I started, you know,
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falling back into my old ways and I started.
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I always wanted to be a famous rapper, bro. That was something that I always
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wanted to do ever since I was a little, little kid, ever since I first heard rap music.
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And I started making in my mind, this is what I'm going to do with my life. right?
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And when I was 19 years old, man, I ended up moving to the States with five
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pairs of clothes, you know what I'm saying?
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And I just lived with my brother, man. And the first job I ever had was I worked
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in the fields, you know what I'm saying? Picking up garbage for 10 hours a day.
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And I'm still struggling with this addiction and everything else and having
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five anxiety attacks a day and feeling shame and guilt and going through that
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crazy cycle, trying to get my life together, you know what I'm saying?
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And And I just get to this point, man, where I'm like in my room and I just
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always had this, you know, I've always had this thing inside of me where I always
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felt like I just wasn't enough by myself.
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You know, like I always needed somebody else, you know, to complete me.
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And now I realize it's God. You know what I'm saying? But before I was like,
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man, I need a group or I need somebody.
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I need to belong to something. Just something. Yeah. Yeah. And like I prayed
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to God with all my mind, heart and soul.
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I remember it. I was like, Lord, please send me somebody who has like talent,
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like a gift, like I do. You know what I'm saying?
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And I just want to make music. You know what I'm saying?
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And the Lord, through a crazy string of events, man, he introduces me to this
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guy and his name is Rocco, man. He goes by Chuck Vibes now.
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You can find him on Spotify, but he don't make Christian music.
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He makes like worldly music. But anyways, man.
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He, we started working together and we formed this group and it's called The Outsiders, right?
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And essentially what we are is a bunch of outcasts, bro, a bunch of misfits, people who don't fit in.
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And we started making music. We started getting, you know, along together pretty well.
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And we started, you know, we did shows. And then I remember,
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but like my life, man, I just never fit in.
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You know what I'm saying? I just was always the odd one out.
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I was never, I never could fit in with them, like set apart.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Once God sets you apart, you can never go back to what you were.
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And, and like, so I was just struggling with that, fighting with that, bro.
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And it came to a point like where, you know, I had so many failed relationships, man.
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So many times girls would just leave me for another dude. And like,
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I just, I, and like, you know what I mean?
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And when you're in the world, man, let me tell you something, bro.
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People don't like kindness. You know, people don't like patience.
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People don't like love. People don't like gentleness, bro. They think it's weak.
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You know, people in the world, you're a Christian, bro.
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They're going to keep picking at you and picking at you, bro.
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And trying to knock that off, trying to numb you up. You know what I'm saying?
22:42
Yes. Yes. Most definitely, bro. I experienced it. I experienced it.
22:45
That's real. That's real.
22:47
And, bro, and that's what they would do to me, bro. And it like it started like
22:51
creating this rage in my heart and this anger and just this resentment for myself and for God.
22:57
And, you know, because I didn't want to be like that.
23:00
And but I was and my sister, I remember she told me this, you know,
23:05
just on a side note, she was like, well, you know that those are gifts, right?
23:10
You know kindness is a gift like you get that
23:12
from god you know what i'm saying like you don't
23:15
get that naturally you get that from jesus yeah
23:19
you know that's pretty true man but
23:22
like anyways man continuing with the story bro like
23:26
i would just never fit in man and it just came to a point man where
23:29
i hit rock bottom man i like i just
23:32
got so just just so
23:36
deep down dark dark type
23:39
of life you know what i'm saying and there was drugs and everything and i would
23:43
never do drugs because i seen what it did to my family i would never drink alcohol
23:47
i mean what it did to my family man and but i i just got to a point man where
23:52
i just didn't care anymore and so i just one day bro bro. I was working at Walmart.
23:58
I got off at 1130 at night and they would always hotbox my ride,
24:02
but I would never smoke with them, but they would hotbox my ride.
24:06
Yeah. Yeah. And so they left some in the dashboard.
24:11
So I was like, man, you know what? I don't even care anymore.
24:14
I'm just going to go smoke. Right.
24:16
So then I go and I drive home and I pull up right in front of my friend's house
24:22
where I was staying at and I start smoking.
24:25
Smoking and i'm playing these beats right and
24:28
then as i'm smoking like this spirit this
24:31
demon comes up to me and he's like yo do
24:35
you really want to he said and he asked me a question he's like
24:38
do you really want to be successful and i was
24:40
like yeah i want to be successful because he
24:43
saw how desperate i was you know what i'm saying yeah he
24:46
saw i hit my rock bottom i had nothing left i know where
24:49
to go i was tired of being you know what i mean pick that
24:52
and this and that and yeah he saw it and
24:55
he was like do you want to be successful or not i said yeah
24:58
he said okay well i need you to sign this contract and
25:01
say f god and i was like what man and then and then bro and then i kid you not
25:07
the contract appears right in front of me it was the x with the dotted line
25:11
and i was like whoa dude this is crazy like i can't believe this is happening
25:16
right now like what and i so i I start manually signing my name in my mind.
25:21
And every single letter of my name is in flames.
25:25
Like you could visually see the flames and I get halfway and I stop and I'm
25:29
like, bro, like what is going on?
25:31
Like, this is crazy. Like, this is literally insane.
25:34
And he's like, bro. And the demon told me, he's like, bro, do you want this
25:38
or not? Like, I could just go to the next person if you don't want it.
25:41
And then I was like, and I was like, okay, you know, I'll do it.
25:45
So then I I signed it, bro. And then I said what I said. Wow.
25:48
And then this contract, bro, it opens up. It opens up. And I see at the top
25:53
of the contract, it says 10,000 rules.
25:56
And every single rule at a contract is laid out.
26:00
And you can see it in little tiny writing exactly what the legal rights are
26:04
for demons over your life.
26:06
And, bro, and it opened up and then it slammed shut like this and then it went
26:12
into my spirit like boom.
26:14
And when it went in me, I felt this darkness come into me like I never felt
26:20
before into my arms and to my soul, into my legs, into my mind.
26:24
And this darkness completely changed me. it gave
26:28
me a confidence I never had before it gave me
26:31
an assurance that I never had before it it taught
26:34
me how to it gave me the ability to communicate to
26:37
negotiate to get what I wanted I had you
26:40
know what I'm saying like it was weird and one thing too was that I just knew
26:46
that I was gonna be successful like there's no there was no doubt in my mind
26:51
like I knew it that it was just a matter of time and yeah and then he and then long story short man,
26:59
no no dude you got to go outside we're doing a podcast right now i love you though.
27:06
My bad about that you know you're good with my son and he's funny but anyways though he said,
27:14
you know and this demon that entered me his name
27:16
was iceberg slim okay you know
27:19
being from from the south you probably heard of
27:23
iceberg slim kind of yeah yeah yeah
27:25
yep yep yep yeah dude and like you know
27:28
the pimp dude it was crazy bro that
27:31
demon in him it came in me and did it make you successful though so okay so
27:38
this is i gotta tell y'all this one okay so this is what happened man so this
27:42
demon fills me right and i begin to notice man that i have this ability to negotiate to to promote,
27:49
to have the confidence I have.
27:52
I could do whatever I wanted, bro, pretty much. It was like a superpower almost.
27:56
And I remember whenever I'd go to write music, as I wrote music,
28:02
as like I listened to the beat, the demons would tell me what to write.
28:06
So I would be able to write just, I would write a song in like five minutes.
28:10
Because every time that the beat replayed, the demon would just say the exact
28:14
same thing over and over and over again until I wrote it all down.
28:18
And then whenever it came to mixing, bro, I didn't have knowledge in mixing
28:22
like that. You know what I'm saying?
28:24
But the demonic gave me knowledge on how to mix. They taught me how to do it in a professional way.
28:32
Yeah, bro, it's crazy. And knowledge I didn't have before.
28:36
And, bro, long story short, man, we start getting shows. we
28:39
start doing like music videos and we start popping
28:42
you know what i'm saying yeah yeah yeah like chris
28:45
calico strange music man okay yeah yeah
28:48
chris webby rich homie kwan bro a lot
28:51
of you know what i mean big people man and and
28:55
then i started you know i started also
28:58
dabbling into gangs you know what i'm saying and one
29:01
thing i didn't i forgot to mention man is whenever i was
29:04
you know 13 me and my best
29:07
friend we got we started getting into gangs whenever i moved here
29:10
and you know he actually went all the way with it
29:12
i never fully got like initiated or anything yeah but
29:15
we were both backing it up and when he was 16 years old he ended up getting
29:20
killed right man so and i say that to say this is because like i don't know
29:26
for some reason i got drawn into that gang again you know what i mean and hanging
29:30
around those people and i started making making music with them, too.
29:33
You know what I'm saying? And bro, in the streets, they were,
29:36
bro, they was like pulling, you know what I'm saying, drive-bys to my music,
29:40
doing... Believe me, I'm familiar with them.
29:44
Bro, house parties, everything else. It was crazy. Yeah, I'm familiar with the
29:47
streets. I know how they operate.
29:50
Yeah. Crazy life, man. And so, all these things start happening, man.
29:56
And it just starts blowing up, kind of. And,
30:00
And dude, it just that same day I gave that to God because that's something
30:05
I always wanted, bro. I never.
30:07
And that's a crazy story about me, bro, is I never had a girlfriend until the
30:12
age of 21 because I was always rejected.
30:14
I was always the misfit. I never fit in, bro.
30:17
You know what I'm saying? So I remember it was one eleven, bro.
30:23
I decided to go check my phone. I went on Facebook and at one 11,
30:28
my wife, who was just, you know, I didn't know her at the time,
30:32
but she posted this post at one 11 talking about God and, you know, about everything else.
30:39
And I just messaged, I just messaged her, bro.
30:41
I'm like, wow, that was a really nice post, you know, this and that.
30:44
And long story short, man, it was just like, it just flowed. It was just natural.
30:49
It was just like a Holy spirit thing. You know what I mean? And long story short,
30:54
she ends up just living down the street from me.
30:58
Wow. Dude, that's crazy, bro. And look at God, man.
31:03
Bro, that was already in God's blueprint, bro. Dude, it was,
31:08
man. And that was the crazy thing, man.
31:10
And I would say just the last part, man, is the reason I still make music to
31:14
this day, bro, is because so my wife, she used to listen to these,
31:18
you know, she went through the baby Christian stage, bro.
31:20
And she would listen to like these super religious people man
31:23
i would be like oh rap music is of the devil any any kind of music other than
31:28
hymns is from the devil you can't have instrumentation this and that and then
31:33
bro so i was like i was thinking that and like i was like oh man like this probably
31:38
is from the devil i mean i signed my soul isn't that everything and then,
31:43
I told God, I was like, God, unless you send me somebody to tell me that this
31:48
is what I'm supposed to be doing, I am going to quit rap music.
31:51
And bro, it took a couple months, bro. I didn't make music for like two months.
31:55
And then I ended up going to this church and I give and I officially give my
32:01
life to the Lord and they pray over me.
32:03
And this prophet from the church, she walks up to me and one of the guys was there.
32:07
He was like, this is a prophet at our church. you know she doesn't she
32:11
she wasn't here during the prayer or anything like that
32:14
she just walked up and then i was like okay so she
32:17
talks to me and she taps me on the shoulder she's like hey do you
32:20
make music and then i was like yeah you
32:23
know i was like yeah i make music and then she was like well the lord
32:27
wanted me to tell you that you're you know that you're highly
32:30
anointed and essentially that's what you're supposed to
32:33
be doing and then i'll be
32:35
like and bro she didn't even know what kind of music i
32:38
made you know what i'm saying so bro like
32:41
that's the reason why i make music to this
32:44
day bro like i mean dude there's like
32:47
that but that in a nutshell man that is what is brought me to the lord today
32:52
you see what i'm saying yeah yeah and very yeah man that's crazy bro pray all
32:59
glory to god man in jesus name amen amen come on bro man bro that's good so so man man, when you,
33:06
I guess when you was going through a certain path, man, when you was incarcerated,
33:10
did you find the Lord then or not?
33:13
Was that, or that was just the moment of your life that you just,
33:16
you know, just a phase that was a part in the blueprint that God was just established you for growth?
33:21
I think, man, like, yeah, I was just, that was, I wasn't following the Lord.
33:26
I mean, at that time, man, I was so lost, bro. I thought that was cool.
33:29
You know what what i'm saying oh okay well like i thought like
33:32
yeah yeah yeah this is pleasurable you know
33:35
what i'm saying to the degree i was like i just don't want
33:38
to be in here that long you know what i'm saying yeah yeah but but yeah man
33:43
and but even then man there was the lord was using people man people that don't
33:48
even know god to speak to me in there you know and say man you don't want to
33:51
live that life you know i'm x this i'm x that and trust me bro you don't want
33:56
to be a part of that and this and that.
33:57
And I was like, you know, I wasn't really listening.
34:00
And, but, you know, now I realize, man, as God speaking through,
34:04
you know, a lot of people, man, and, you know.
34:08
And I'll tell you this, bro, like speaking of that part of my life,
34:11
you know, with the gangs and everything, I remember like, there was this one moment, man.
34:17
I remember it. Like, I remember I went to my homie's house and he's really about
34:24
it, man. He was a hitter. You know know what I'm saying?
34:27
And I was sitting on the couch, man, and he looks at me, bro. And he looked at me, bro.
34:34
And he said, bro, like, I don't know what it is about you, bro, but.
34:39
You're just not being yourself, bro. And he said, like, I don't feel anything.
34:43
I like I don't get any bad vibes from you, but I just feel like you're not being yourself.
34:48
Like you're just like this. Yeah.
34:51
Yeah. Different spirit. God. Yeah. God was starting to get down in your heart,
34:56
man, and change you at the moments, man.
34:58
Yeah. And he was a bro. He was a full blown like he was like a leader, bro.
35:02
And he was telling me that like he's like, this just isn't you, bro.
35:05
Like this is not you. too yeah and bro it
35:08
was crazy because that day you know i was
35:11
like bro but like this and that but we could do this and that bro and
35:14
i was like just think about it bro and you you know what i mean and
35:17
and he was like ah bro like i ain't buying it
35:20
bro like this just isn't you bro and and like he
35:23
even told the other homie is like man bro like do you
35:26
see what i'm saying and like yeah it was interesting man and
35:29
the other homie he didn't really see what the leader was saying
35:32
you know what i'm saying but but he like
35:35
he the other homie was trying to convince him he
35:38
was like man bro but you don't you don't see it like because you know you don't
35:41
see people who think like this because i bro i wanted to start like barber shops
35:45
i wanted to start like dispensary and stuff like that i had a mindset to put
35:49
the gang on you know what i'm saying yeah yeah exactly but he was like bro he's
35:53
like but bro like you're just not being yourself and i remember that day man.
35:57
I remember a lot of the homies came through to the house that day.
36:01
And I remember the spirit of the Lord just came upon me in that house.
36:07
And I just bawled, bro.
36:10
It was weird. I just couldn't stop my tears from falling.
36:15
It was weird. And they were all looking at me, bro. They were looking at me like, what is going on?
36:20
I just couldn't stop it, man. And I heard the voice of the Lord and And he said,
36:25
I'm trying to save you, son.
36:29
Wow, man. I'm trying to save you, son. Man, and that's kind of,
36:33
bro, that's good that you was able to heed the words, man, and understand.
36:37
Because a lot of times, man, when we out there in the streets,
36:40
man, our minds be so trapped and so cluttered.
36:43
We had that one track mind, and that's for the streets. It's for that life that we live in, man.
36:47
And that's good, man, that God was able to get through you and that you was able to listen.
36:52
Because God come to a lot of people, but a lot of us don't listen.
36:55
A lot of us, you know, would be out there in the streets and sometimes end up tragic.
36:59
But, bro, what is a positive word of encouragement, man, that you can give to
37:03
anybody that's been in the gangs, that's been in the streets,
37:06
that's just don't know what to do, man?
37:09
A positive word that you could tell them, hey, man, this too shall come to pass,
37:12
man. Trust the Lord and things will get better.
37:15
Man, a positive thing, man. I would say, dude, like you're never too far.
37:21
You know what I'm saying? You're never too far gone. And that's not really you.
37:26
And, you know, you got to understand, man, that, you know, the enemy has an agenda, bro.
37:32
And his only agenda, bro, is just to see you killed, stolen from or destroyed.
37:39
You see what I'm saying? Yeah. And my encouragement to you, you,
37:43
man, is come to the winning side, bro.
37:46
That's what I tell these youngins every time at youth group is like,
37:49
man, you don't want to bang that gang. You don't want to be a part of that.
37:52
You know what I'm saying? You want to be a part of the winning team, bro.
37:55
You want to be a part with a kingdom. You know what I'm saying?
37:58
With real soldiers, the most elite army in the universe,
38:01
people that want to see you prosper, people that want to see you win,
38:04
people that don't want to see you go to jail, people that won't put you in compromising
38:08
situations that that blind you.
38:11
You want to be able to buy a house, bro. You want to be able to buy a car.
38:14
You want to be able to get good jobs.
38:16
You know what I'm saying? All of these things, man, I've been hindered because
38:20
of my lifestyle that I lived.
38:22
You see what I'm saying? Yeah. You're trying to stop me now. Yeah.
38:25
But you know, and the thing is, man, even then, even then with all of these
38:31
things, God has had grace upon my life.
38:34
God has split the Red Sea for me. God has made way through the wilderness.
38:38
God has made rivers into wasteland, bro. Like I have cars now. I have a good job now.
38:45
You know what I'm saying? I have, I have things. I have a family, bro.
38:49
God is good, bro. God is good. My enemies, bro. I have made peace with them, bro.
38:53
I can go to church, bro, and see some of them and they, and we shake hands.
38:58
You see what I'm saying, bro? Like you're not trapped, bro.
39:02
And the only thing that traps you, bro, is what, what other people think of
39:07
you. and I refuse to be fearful, man, before I was a coward because I was afraid
39:11
of what people thought of me.
39:13
I was afraid of looking weak. I was afraid of looking bad for the gang.
39:16
I was afraid, man. I was a coward, bro. But now I'm not afraid of anybody, bro.
39:20
Only person that I'm afraid of is Christ Jesus is the living God who can throw
39:25
both body and soul into hell in Jesus name, man. I put that on everything.
39:29
You know what I'm saying, bro? Come on, man. Don't fear him,
39:33
man, because Just fear the Lord in Jesus' name, bro.
39:36
Come on. God has a plan and a purpose for your life, bro, in Jesus' name. Come on. Amen. Amen.
39:41
Hey, brother. Amen. Hey, brother Honor, man. This has been an awesome interview, bro.
39:46
And I just want to tell you, man, I thank you so much, man, for sharing your testimony.
39:51
Because there's a lot of brothers, man, a lot of people out there, man, that's the pride.
39:56
They're scared what people are going to say about them. They're scared to cry.
39:59
But like I tell people, I know I'm 100% man, but I'll tell anybody.
40:04
I'm not, I cry. God gave us, gave us tear ducts, man, for a reason.
40:09
And we all should use them, brother. So, brother, I just want to tell you,
40:12
man, keep on doing, man, what you're doing, man.
40:14
Keep praying up. Keep talking to the youth, man. Keep being a light.
40:17
And let your light shine, man, everywhere you go, brother.
40:20
So, brother, I'm going to go ahead and pray us out of here, man.
40:22
If you're by your head, brother, why don't you go ahead and pray us out? So for so.
40:27
Amen. God, we thank you tonight for bringing Minister Change and Brother Honor together, God.
40:33
We know that you have a purpose for everything on this planet, God. God.
40:36
We know that when we were born, you already had a blueprint made saying that
40:42
brother honor and brother change is going to get together, God.
40:45
We just pray that you just keep on protecting us through our trials and tribulations.
40:50
And even on those days that we want to give up, God, we want you to step in and lift us up, God.
40:55
We know that we are nothing without you, God. We know that all the glory belongs to you.
41:00
Everything that we're doing, everything that that we're going to do our past,
41:03
present, and future, God.
41:04
You was in it, and I want you to continue being in our life and guiding us down
41:08
a path of success, prosperity, love, financially, health, wealth,
41:15
in your name. Amen, amen.
41:17
Amen, man. Come on, bro, in Jesus' name. Beautiful prayer, my man.
41:21
Amen, amen. Hey, bro, man, I just want to tell you, I thank you, man. God bless us, bro.
41:27
Yes, God's blessings in Jesus' name. Amen, amen.
41:30
Music.
41:57
I can't be seen no more I don't wanna live again Bury my flesh six feet in the
42:03
dirt below I beg you Lord to rid my sins Or find me in a fire till I'm 24 karat
42:10
gold I just wanna be like Him Resurrect my spirit and breathe life into these dry bones Take it.
42:14
Music.
42:17
Take it, take it away Pray my sins, take it,
42:24
take it, into the grave Yeah,
42:28
you led my life to shambles Addicted and afflicted, my condition's off the handle Vandals,
42:33
tryna take away my godly mantle So I grabbed a 66 and shot him in the mantle
42:37
I had to, a soldier for the lord, I'm not romanceful Dancing with the devil.
42:41
Music.
42:42
That's just something that I can't do You can do your rituals and light up all
42:45
your candles But one word from my lord,
42:47
you're stripped naked in commando I got the bandos, where you from?
42:50
But my God's in the castle You're a beast, an animal, God got you in the lasso
42:54
We some long wedges, but we ain't from El Paso You and everything, in Jesus' name,
42:59
we ain't bashful Represent hard, give my life for the Lord We ain't no buses, do a night for our Lord,
43:06
Sanctifying soldiers in the army, you're the Lord If there's evil in my heart,
43:09
Lord, send it to the Lord No remorse for my pledge, cause it won't come with me Set apart,
43:15
living holy, Lucifer's filthy It tempted me to sin,
43:18
bro, you gotta be silly I can't have life doing things that'll kill me Torn
43:23
is what I was before I was reborn So lift me up in shackles like your boy was
43:27
Dwight York Freedom from my sin is what Christ died for Rhythm me in my sins, Jesus Christ my.
43:33
Music.
43:49
Until I can't be seen no more I don't wanna live again Buried my flesh six feet
43:55
in the dirt below I beg you, Lord, to rid my sins Refine me in a fire till I'm 24,
44:01
carry gold I just wanna be like him Resurrect my spirit and breathe life into
44:06
these dry bones Father, if I be a truthful, ain't perfect Never claimed to be
44:11
Still got some unclean thangs in me Leave it 2023,
44:16
I repent openly And my low self-esteem Knowing I serve a risen king Yes I do,
44:22
Romans 12 2 Montecote blue,
44:24
death and lies Breaking middle ties Read proverbs so wise L-O-J on the rise,
44:30
pies Offer the love so deep and wide H-I,
44:34
f***ing that holy name From the northwest to the middle of plains Blowing sins
44:39
up, propane Book of James, spiritual flames Ordain,
44:44
hot the order like raisin canes Honor, light, and this philosophy swain.
44:48
Amen, ridding our sins, we cleanse. I beg you, Lord, to rid my sins.
44:54
Break me apart until I can't be seen no more. I don't wanna live again.
45:00
Bury my flesh six feet in the dirt below.
45:03
I beg you, Lord, to rid my sins. Revive me in a fire till I'm 24 karat gold. I just wanna be like Him.
45:11
Resurrect my spirit and breathe life into these dry bones.
45:15
Music.