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(VIDEO) MISTRESS MIA WELCOMES MASTER KULDRIN · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:12
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me a Mistress.
0:15
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and today I have with me a
0:18
special guest Cauldron. Hi.
0:22
How are you? Oh, I'm ecstatic to be here
0:26
today. I was talking about the the
0:30
little dirty things that we do in the dark.
0:33
Oh my God. Bring them into the light like
0:37
messengers. I may have had a couple extra
0:43
coffees this morning. Oh, that's OK.
0:46
That, trust me, I had a good 40 oz.
0:50
Yeah, you got to have it. Yes.
0:55
You know, so, so Caldron, you are like me, you're kind of in
1:00
the South somewhat. You're there in Tennessee and,
1:06
you know, there's quite a bit of Kingsters in our, you know,
1:10
communities, but when did you actually start your journey and
1:14
all of this? Well, I'm 48 and I was 18 when I
1:18
officially entered into a club for the first time.
1:25
Was dating a girl who had a her family owned a nudist colony
1:30
down in Florida and yeah, she was a few years older than me.
1:37
She was 22, so 4 years older, and she introduced me to all of
1:42
this wonderful craziness and well, really she didn't.
1:47
She didn't introduce me to it. She introduced me to the world
1:51
and she allowed me a place to express myself and brought that
1:57
side out. She was very nurturing lover.
2:01
Did she take your cherry? No, I was 13 when that happened,
2:13
apparently clawing, biting, growling the whole time.
2:17
And yeah, I'm very primal and it just comes natural.
2:22
And I, I never even realized it until I met her.
2:27
And she, she's like, you were so animalistic.
2:31
And that explained why every person I'd ever been with was
2:36
nobody, nobody has ever fucked me like you fucked me.
2:41
And I'm like, what does that mean?
2:43
And they're like, I don't know, I can't explain it, but it's a
2:45
good thing. And I'm like OK, cool, as long
2:48
as it's a good. Thing right That's that's hot.
2:54
Yeah, it was kind of an ego boost.
2:57
I felt good about it, can't lie. But from there, it just, it just
3:04
took off. She mentored me for a few years
3:08
and we switched. And that was kind of the
3:15
downfall of that relationship. I especially was not mature
3:20
enough and I didn't, I didn't have an example of what a
3:26
healthy relationship look like. So it was it was going to fail
3:32
for two reasons. One, what I just said about
3:35
maturity and no examples of healthy relationships.
3:38
And two, I my pinky is is the bone that holds the the subside
3:47
in me. Yeah, I'm with you.
3:51
Doctors and dentists, though, I absolutely hate dentists.
3:54
Those are the only people that I will really submit to and logic
3:59
and I will submit to logic. But other than that, yeah, no,
4:03
I'm, I'm very dominant in both professional and personal life
4:08
and dominant and not domineering.
4:13
But at the time, you know, she needed both things.
4:16
I only needed one aspect of of the slash.
4:20
And so it didn't really work out.
4:23
I would I'll give anything to find her today, but I've I've
4:29
looked for 20 years and been able unable to locate her.
4:33
But yeah, it's that's how I got started.
4:37
Wow, I'm good at tracking people.
4:40
I might have to help you in that journey.
4:43
Oh, that'll be awesome. How cool is that?
4:49
I it was an absolute amazing situation, like the best case
4:56
scenario really, even though you know it, it didn't end great.
5:04
I think we were both at the end of it.
5:06
We were both thankful for our time with each other.
5:11
But you know, there was good and bad in with every breakup, but
5:22
just the the amount of teaching that from her and her family
5:30
that was there and the different aspects, the introductions to
5:36
other people that led me into doing some adult filming,
5:40
private adult filming and professional topping and you
5:46
know, stuff like that in Atlanta was the education.
5:55
I was definitely not emotionally or mentally mature enough for it
6:02
at the time. And of course, you know, I
6:05
thought I was, I wasn't, but I still wouldn't change it because
6:12
I was, I was very logical and safe.
6:16
And that's, that's the difference between me and
6:22
somebody else that could have gone through the exact same
6:24
thing, but not had that logical and safe side to them.
6:31
I think it would have been devastating, would have been
6:33
absolutely traumatic. And I'd, I'd probably be curled
6:38
up in a ball in an institution right now.
6:43
Well, I mean, it was, it was diving straight into the deep
6:46
end like Mariana Trench, kind of depths of, of, of education.
6:53
And, you know, I got a doctorate in kink in a two year period.
7:01
Yeah. Pretty much if there was a thing
7:05
that could be done, I, I experienced it and yeah, it's,
7:11
it's good times. It it was good times.
7:13
And just, I mean, obviously thinking back on it, I do think
7:16
of it very passionately and, and very fondly.
7:23
Yeah. So that's that's been a nutshell
7:27
in my start. I like that.
7:31
Met people with with eyeball licking fetishes and coat hanger
7:35
fetishes. Yeah, I've had that.
7:38
Wow, just about every single strange, you know, atypical
7:46
fetish other than just feet and ass and you know all of that.
7:53
It's which I'm not putting those down.
7:55
Don't you know, I very much have an ass fetish, But feet, No, no,
8:05
I can't do. Feet's a hard limit for me.
8:07
But yeah, it's, it's it's so beautiful, no matter how weird
8:12
it is, as long as it doesn't involve children or animals and
8:17
everybody consents and it's, you know, semi sane and safe.
8:24
But why do what you want? Why?
8:29
I mean, I've had people beg me to do amputations and things
8:33
like that. Yeah.
8:35
One guy wanted his his leg cut off and no, absolutely not not
8:40
going to do that. That's that's a felony not
8:44
happening. What could maybe just like my
8:46
pinky toe. Can you at least just do that?
8:49
You know, I'll pay you $5000 and I'm like, no, can't do that.
8:58
I mean, I, I was, I was probably 2324 I.
9:02
Considered. It, yeah, I mean, I, I, I
9:05
considered it. I was going to say right now
9:07
though, you might consider it right.
9:10
I think I would. You know.
9:14
I mean, it's not going to kill him.
9:16
I would consider it, but I definitely would not do it
9:20
because again, that whole felony thing and it being sane, like I
9:26
worked in mental health, surprise, surprise, for 20
9:29
years. We both did.
9:31
We have. Similar.
9:32
Backgrounds with this, it's so looking at the psychology of the
9:39
people that I play with in my personal life that I topped in
9:44
in my former professional life. It's, it's both a blessing and a
9:51
curse because you recognize something in somebody and go,
9:55
oh, that's borderline psychosis or, or the other, but that's
10:01
borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder.
10:04
Somebody's in a manic phase and they're, you know, self
10:08
destructing and they don't realize it.
10:10
Or, you know, they're histrionic Or the the dark Trinity.
10:19
Yeah, you've got somebody trying to gaslight, gaslight you that's
10:22
going to flip things around on you.
10:23
And I don't know if you've ever experienced the Dark Triad or
10:26
the Dark Trinity. I have not.
10:30
But having somebody that when Machiavellian personality
10:37
disorder, so everything absolutely, positively
10:42
everything they do in their life is to benefit them and there's
10:48
no level of extremes that they will not go to to make sure that
10:56
they are meeting their needs and the amount of manipulation and
11:00
lying, mix that with, you know, 100% pure narcissism and. 0
11:08
Compassion. 0 compassion, 0 empathy, and then have them come
11:14
to you claiming to be one thing with 100% intent to flip the
11:21
script on you and have you tied up.
11:24
Oh yeah, yeah. But yeah, and it's, Oh yeah,
11:33
luckily I was able to recognize that the one time that I saw
11:37
somebody, which is funny because I saw that as a professional
11:43
Dom, but I never once ran across somebody like that actually
11:48
working in the side field. Yes, right.
11:52
They're that good. They could.
11:54
Have. Yeah, yeah.
11:55
It's amazing. They can have they can evade and
11:58
they can skirt the law and yeah, it's it's it's so much more
12:03
dangerous than the and I know I'm way off topic here from.
12:08
Actually, no, no, but it's. It's so sociopathy and
12:16
psychopathy in relation to like serial killers, which by the
12:20
way, there's a whole lot of people who have sociopathy who
12:25
are sociopaths, who don't experience empathy, who are high
12:33
level, high functioning members of society.
12:36
And people don't realize that. I know you do, but most people
12:39
don't. But to add that Machiavellian
12:46
aspect to it where since everything that they do is to
12:54
benefit them and they have no empathy, but that that
13:00
Machiavellian aspect pulls them within the lines of the law.
13:07
So they really are experts at skirting the law.
13:11
In fact, it's my understanding that a law enforcement or a law,
13:19
a lawyer, those two fields going in the legal field of some
13:25
aspect, can often draw those people with those disorders into
13:30
it. I believe it.
13:33
I believe it. Anyway.
13:36
No, no, it's, it's such a honestly, it's, it's refreshing
13:42
because I love the psychological aspects of BDSM.
13:47
And then to talk about it last night, I was kind of geared in
13:51
that that mood. And there is an episode it it's
13:56
with Andrew McCarthy on SVU Law and Order and it's first season
14:03
episode 22. And he is, I think he's, I think
14:09
he's either, no, I don't think he's an attorney in this one.
14:12
I think he's like a stockbroker or something to that effect.
14:16
But he's obviously well to do, and he's married to a female
14:20
veterinarian and they live in New York.
14:23
And he ends up meeting a woman in Romania, brings her back to
14:28
the States. She's a young girl who was going
14:31
to go to NYU. And instead of getting her into
14:33
college, he kept her as a nanny and a prisoner in his home.
14:39
And yeah, And it is a twisted, twisted, yeah episode, but it's
14:47
a great episode because there's a part where Chris, what's his
14:54
name? Chris Leone Maloney.
14:57
Chris Maloney. Yeah.
14:58
And Mariska Haggerty, they open up a closet.
15:03
And I think the closet had like a a pocket door.
15:05
And they open it up and then they see this press board closet
15:09
with a padlock on it and they open it up and it's got like a
15:13
head cage and shackles. And immediately my husband and I
15:19
are like, oh, that's, that's so sexy, right?
15:25
And they couldn't find her, but they end up finding her.
15:28
And he had done an actual like a makeshift, what do you call it?
15:36
Almost like a coffin, a press board coffin under his bed.
15:41
And he disguised it behind his foot board.
15:44
It was twisted. It was so twisted.
15:47
It was great. It was a great episode.
15:50
Season 1, Episode 22. Yes.
15:52
OK, I wrote it down. I'm going to check that out.
15:55
I don't. You got.
15:56
Check it out. I haven't watched Law and Order
15:58
in forever and I've never seen SVU.
16:01
OK. Yeah.
16:03
So I'll, I will check that out. But that reminds me, do you
16:05
remember back in the 90s that he may be too young?
16:09
We're the same age, you realize this.
16:12
No, I didn't know that. OK, well, yeah, I'm going to be
16:14
49 in a few days. Oh, OK, I'll be 49 in March.
16:19
Oh, Boxing Helena, have you ever seen that?
16:25
No. OK, so it's kind of like a
16:27
skinny Max flick from from the mid to late 90s.
16:32
OK, I highly recommend checking it out.
16:35
A woman gets hit by a car in front of this guy's house and he
16:41
takes her in. And I believe he's he's, he may
16:45
have been a physician, I don't recall what his career was, but
16:49
he ends up amputating limbs and nursing her back to health as he
16:53
does this because he's just crazy in love with her.
16:59
Wow. We're being crazy and but yeah,
17:03
it's it's a, it's a skin of Max Flicks.
17:06
So there's lots of Eroticism in it.
17:11
And of course they try to do the big surprise ending and all
17:14
that, but it's, yeah, it's wild. That's awesome.
17:21
And it's it's not a gore fest either.
17:23
It's not one who's the the those fun bloody TNA's, which I'm a
17:28
blood fetishist too, so I kind of enjoy those.
17:31
But yeah. No shame.
17:36
No shame, Yeah. Makita, which yes, I know that's
17:42
a tool. No, was the the person's name
17:47
who introduced me. I actually met her in an
17:49
underground rave in Atlanta and it was a vampire, you know, in
17:56
the 90s you got all the, the big good vampire things coming out.
18:02
And that was the scene that I met her in.
18:07
And it was because I was such a blood fetishist.
18:11
I had a thing for vamps and, you know, that kind of young teenage
18:16
goth thing. So yeah, that.
18:23
That's awesome. And the plot thickens.
18:30
That's awesome. Thick as blood.
18:33
Oh man. That's very cool.
18:40
Well, you know, I haven't been to Atlanta.
18:42
I haven't been to the dungeons or anything there, and I really
18:44
need to get up and just try it, go to a couple dungeon parties
18:47
and experience it. I just, you know, time consumes
18:51
me here with things. But I think the more interesting
18:55
thing that I ever did was two years ago my husband and I went
18:59
to Amsterdam and we, yeah, it was so fun.
19:04
But here we were next to a mosque and it was an old Chinese
19:08
restaurant they converted into a dungeon slash bath house.
19:13
Oh cool. It was so cool.
19:15
They still had a fucking Chinese buffet though.
19:17
They called. I'm like, honey, I can beat you.
19:23
And then we can go and eat some, eat some dim sum or something,
19:25
you know? Oh God, that's like diamonds and
19:30
lace in Chattanooga. I I think it's still there.
19:33
They have probably one of the best lunch buffets I've ever
19:37
eaten at. In the strip club.
19:38
That's awesome. Yep.
19:43
I mean, it's it's phenomenal. Or it was.
19:45
Now I haven't been there in 25 years, but awesome.
19:50
Yeah. Good times.
19:52
The dungeons in Atlanta Course 1763 they sold and then a few
19:58
years later they closed. Somebody bought the building
20:03
that they were in and there was a a big thing there with their
20:08
contract and the new owners didn't want to renew it.
20:12
So unfortunately they closed. But I believe there's been since
20:15
then, there's been like 3 more pop up within a 2 hour or hour
20:20
driving radius of it of the greater Atlanta area.
20:25
And I've not been to any of those yet.
20:28
I've been invited to two out of the three and I just, I haven't
20:33
had the opportunity to go down there yet.
20:36
Unfortunately due to a an injury I've had to limit what I do, but
20:45
I will get down there eventually.
20:48
Well, good, might have to meet you there.
20:50
Yeah, yeah. Wouldn't that be fun it?
20:53
Would. We'll explore.
20:55
I love Co topping, by the way, drawing off of the energy of of,
21:01
yeah, there was one time I built this.
21:05
It's like an ladder, a double ladder, A-frame.
21:10
I'm a woodworker. I built that obviously out of
21:14
wood and I did it just for performances, stage
21:18
performances. And we would have so one to two
21:24
people on each side of the ladder and then on the ends of
21:30
on each end of the ladder too, we'd have one person.
21:34
So we could have six people on the thing and then, you know,
21:39
456 tops just rotating around and doing all the warm ups as we
21:47
rotate around and then going into each of our favorite toys
21:52
and Oh my God, the energy flow. I think we had five people, 5
22:00
bottoms and six or 8 tops switching in and out.
22:06
It lasted for 3-4 hours. About. 3 1/2, Four hours.
22:14
Yeah. I mean, with that many people
22:15
being able to switch out and have more tops and you do
22:17
bottoms. I mean, it was I was so
22:23
exhausted and it was more so just mentally and emotionally
22:27
than physically in such a positive way.
22:31
But Oh my God, the drop from that was, duh, one of the one of
22:41
the worst. It went from being one of the
22:42
best experiences to one of the worst experiences because of the
22:45
drop. But I would do it again in a
22:48
heartbeat. I'm bad.
22:50
Now I know what to expect. Yeah.
22:52
Interesting. That's interesting.
22:55
I think that's something a lot of people really don't
22:57
understand what we go through as doms and having that, that rush
23:02
and then just pulling. Bless you.
23:08
Thank you. And I'm going to patriot spirits
23:11
of something. Sorry, that's another kink.
23:24
I grew up a good old southern backs boy down in northwest
23:27
Georgia. Now you want to be like a
23:32
Catholic priest and spank your nuns.
23:36
Yes, yes and yes. It's awesome.
23:43
Oh, yeah. So the people, people really
23:47
don't understand that. And you know, at one point I
23:50
was, I, I, I, well, I always meant to get shirts made that
23:55
say tops need aftercare too or, you know, whatever.
24:02
But people, people really don't. That's one thing that I'm I'm
24:06
very, in fact, that's the first thing when I'm negotiating the
24:10
scene with somebody. It's first, middle and last like
24:14
I want, I want that person know that I'm one of the good ones.
24:21
It is a power exchange. It is a negotiated thing.
24:25
And which means that I become invested emotionally into that
24:30
scene, whether it's 5 minutes or five years and I will need
24:38
aftercare. I'm going to need some snuggles
24:41
afterwards. Like I'm a snuggle slut.
24:44
I'm I'm a big old bear. I can be mighty growly and and
24:52
very mean and hateful. The when the when I flip that
24:56
switch between this fun podcast guy and me and a scene is two
25:03
different people. I have Hazel eyes, which means
25:06
my eyes typically will change colors with my mood.
25:10
And in a scene they turn very dark brown, almost black.
25:18
And yeah, that's why I'm having the most fun.
25:24
Yeah, people will tell me they're like, oh, you were so,
25:26
so, so, so sweet and so kind. And I'm like, yeah, we haven't
25:31
played in the dungeon yet, have we?
25:34
Yeah, at that point you're like, don't they always tell you to
25:37
watch out for the quiet ones? Well, they need to tell you to
25:39
watch out for the sweet ones too.
25:41
Exactly. And the sweet ones like you are
25:46
always the ones that I get along with.
25:49
And that's because you are the ones like you.
25:52
Oh, here's a here's a pro tip and looking for a pro.
25:56
So if if you are a listener of Mistress Mia on a regular basis
26:05
or if this is your first time here, please know that when
26:09
you're in search of a professional, you want somebody
26:13
who interacts with you as a person first and foremost,
26:19
because that is what you are when it all comes down to it.
26:24
And the sweet ones that do not immediately try to force their
26:29
dominance on you during a negotiation process or an
26:32
introduction, those are the ones that are in it only for
26:36
themselves and are abusive. Now, if you want to be abused,
26:42
then you can still be abused ethically.
26:45
And I am absolutely 100% certain that Mistress Mia would be
26:49
phenomenal at abusing you in all the most delicious ways
26:54
possible. But no, I mean it.
26:57
No, dude, are you doing a commercial for me?
27:01
Completely accidentally, but I mean every word of it.
27:04
Thank you. I mean, you, you are just,
27:07
you're a great example of that. And I'm kind of passionate about
27:12
that, especially right now because I don't go to my local
27:15
dungeon because of the situation with, with a, a a little 22 year
27:20
old who is who's trying to run the place.
27:27
And that sweet. Yeah, she's, she's got that
27:31
pretty privilege and that young and that youth privilege.
27:36
And the submissive male that owns the place who's, I don't
27:41
know, and his late been to late 50s now.
27:45
And, and in our area it's, it's hard to be a sub male.
27:52
It's, it's, it's very difficult to be a submissive male.
27:57
And he has a history of allowing these young ones to kind of take
28:05
over, take charge of the play area and do whatever they want
28:11
and treat people however they want.
28:14
And you know, it's not healthy for anybody there and it, it
28:24
cause costs him business in doing that.
28:29
But it's just so important to, to watch out for.
28:33
I'm, I'm very passionate. I like.
28:37
So I, I did a podcast, Cauldron's Crypt, a BDSM1O1
28:41
podcast, wearing a hat and a shirt from it today.
28:48
I did that for eight years, and the reason that it started was
28:54
because I started hearing all of these horror stories post 50
28:59
Shades. So in 2016, yeah, 2016, I got to
29:07
do something. Yeah, it's been almost 10 years.
29:10
I don't know anything really about this whole podcasting
29:13
thing. I tried to start one back in
29:15
like 2005, 2006. At the time you had to hand code
29:21
your RSS feed and, and do all this stuff, which was a little
29:26
bit more advanced than I had time to learn at the, you know,
29:30
And so I'm like, well, I'm going to check this out.
29:32
I'm going to, I'm going to see what this is about.
29:34
And the whole reason that I started it was to protect
29:38
people. And you know, I thought, well,
29:42
it's not paying me anything. If I can just save one person
29:48
from a, from an abusive situation or prevent one person
29:52
from getting into an abusive situation, then I've, I've it's
29:59
all worth it. And then damn, if the emails
30:03
didn't start coming in. And then as it just blew up and
30:10
become a bigger and bigger thing, and I'm not talking about
30:14
my podcast, I'm talking about BDSM in general post 50 Shades,
30:19
which meant that my podcast started blowing up.
30:22
And you know, I was getting hundreds of messages on Fetlife
30:27
and through emails a day asking questions.
30:33
And it's just, you know, people need to be more careful than
30:39
what they are and understand that frenzy is a real thing.
30:43
And I don't care if it's your first time hearing about it or
30:47
you're 100 years old and you've been doing it since you were
30:50
born. Frenzy can hit anyone at any
30:54
time without notice. It does not ask permission.
30:58
And it can completely devastate your life and your experience
31:06
within the scene and in your personal life.
31:10
I've seen it destroy people because they give into it
31:14
because at first it's like a manic episode.
31:17
Well, it is a form of of mania. It is a form of a manic episode.
31:21
Only you don't have to be bipolar to experience it.
31:24
And you just throw caution to the wind and you go do all the
31:27
things. And then there's shit tons of
31:30
regrets at best and shit tons of abuse at worst.
31:35
So I just caution people about that frenzy.
31:41
Got to watch out for that there frenzy.
31:45
Yeah, You know, it's a sad thing.
31:47
I, I'm like you, you know, my listener consists of my
31:53
listening bases, you know, now 85% men and I know obviously the
31:59
majority is going to be submissive men.
32:01
And it's so difficult for them to find a good female Dom who
32:05
isn't taking them for a ride either financially or otherwise.
32:10
But recently it's like, I had this, this cute little guy
32:13
reached out to me and, you know, he's just under 30 and he's, you
32:18
know, in a different country. And he's like, you know, I can
32:21
come over with a work visa and I can be your slave.
32:24
And I'm like, it's, it happens all the time.
32:27
And I'm like, listen, that's great.
32:29
You know, I, I already have, you know, my slave GIMP and I've got
32:33
my slave Sissy. And it's great.
32:35
And this is what I do professionally.
32:37
However, you really need to look at the person, talk to the
32:43
person and have a friendship and a relationship first before you
32:49
even delve into the aspects of ADS dynamic.
32:53
And that's what people miss all the time.
32:56
Oh man, that. So when I was, I was in the
32:59
shower and I was thinking about talking to you and looking
33:01
forward to it and what were we going to talk about?
33:06
And that was one of the things that came to mind was the the
33:12
bedroom Kingster, because of 50 Shades, is so incredibly
33:17
confused stepping into BDSM. Yeah.
33:21
There is a huge difference in that calm.
33:28
What is it a calm complex or compound anyway?
33:35
The the whole DS part with discipline and submission and
33:45
and dominance or discipline and sadomasochism and dominance and
33:52
submission and it really should be BDSMS.
33:59
Or whatever. You know, because, because
34:03
that's what I'm sure you run into this a lot just like I
34:10
have. But people who want the slap and
34:13
tickle and I do not say that disrespectfully to anyone
34:17
because if that's your thing, get your thing on.
34:21
Like I am all for that. But so many couples that I'm AI
34:30
wear a lot of hats. I'm also a certified life coach
34:33
and relationship coach and which I got that certification after I
34:40
started the podcast just to be able to better help these people
34:45
in and finding out legally what I was allowed to do.
34:50
So that was while I worked in mental health for all those
34:53
years, you know, I knew the laws on what I was allowed to do
34:57
there. But in having people come to me
35:01
for other things, you know, I, I and that really helped.
35:06
So people like, yeah, I just, I want to submit to my husband or
35:12
I want to submit to my wife, whatever.
35:16
And I'm like, but, but do you? But do you really like.
35:22
Yeah, I want the, I want the whole thing.
35:24
I want it all the time, 24/7. But do you really?
35:30
Have you tried it just for an afternoon or a day or a week?
35:36
No, no, no, no. I just know what?
35:38
And you know, they need to learn how to do this.
35:41
Like OK, what about you? Well, I just need to do what I'm
35:44
told. Oh no, no, you have to learn how
35:49
to be a submissive. You just like you have to learn
35:52
how to be a dominant and you also have to test the waters 1st
35:58
and not just dive in because it it's not going to go well.
36:06
Like 9 out of 10 times when you dive in it's not going to go
36:10
well. You got to do the research and
36:15
get educated and yes, it's fun, but it's also work and people
36:20
don't understand how much work DS is.
36:26
Very true. Oh my God, especially when
36:32
you're in a long term 24/7. You know my last sub it was 7
36:39
seven years I believe of 24/7 365.
36:46
It did not stop when we slept. In fact, sometimes there was
36:52
alarms in the middle of the night that had to be woken up to
36:54
or to complete tasks just because she needed a reminder of
37:02
who was in charge. Because she may have back talked
37:05
and it may have been disciplined or which sounds real sexy to
37:09
some people. And it is until you know you,
37:12
you have to. Get up on.
37:14
On every odd hour and write for 15 minutes in a kneeling
37:21
position and you have to be at work at 6:00 AM and work a 12 or
37:30
16 hour shift you know it's. Yeah.
37:39
Oh, memories. Yeah, it gets real, real quick,
37:43
doesn't it? Yeah.
37:46
And and that being negotiated too, you know, is, is that an
37:52
acceptable form of punishment? Just because you're the Dome, it
37:56
doesn't mean you can just punish any way you want.
38:03
And it seems like the the Insta domes, one of their favorite
38:07
ways to to punish is contact deprivation or isolation or
38:18
withholding communication, hugs, cuddles, whatever.
38:27
And that's abuse. Like unless, unless that person
38:32
has specifically said that is something that they need in
38:36
their life and you found out why it's something that they need in
38:39
their life. Which is where people often miss
38:42
out to in getting to know their partner.
38:46
Sitting down with the BDSM checklist, which you can find a
38:49
colder script.com/survey. Sorry, it's like a 7 or 8 page
38:55
survey that has all these different things and each person
38:59
can fill them out and see what where they line up and they can
39:06
talk about it and they can research the things that they
39:10
don't know together. And it's just a learning
39:12
experience together. And I about guarantee you that
39:16
you're going to stop going through it before you get
39:20
halfway done to have sex. Like you're going to you're
39:23
going to quit going through it because you're going to be so
39:25
hot talking about this stuff that you're not going to be able
39:28
to keep your hands off each other.
39:31
But in talking about it, finding out why you need this or, or you
39:36
want this, that's really the intimate part, getting to know
39:41
each other. I've had couples that were in
39:45
their 60s and they've been together since they were
39:47
teenagers be like, yeah, we want to try this stuff, help us out.
39:53
I'm like, OK. And they will come back and tell
39:57
me after I tell them what I've just said here, that in three
40:03
days of going through these surveys together, took them
40:07
three days because they get hot. They had stopped.
40:10
They had to have sex. I'm like, oh, you're in your mid
40:11
60s. Congratulations.
40:14
He's like, Yep, didn't even need any Viagra.
40:17
I've done my job helping people get happy, but they, they come
40:23
to me, both of them in tears because they had learned so much
40:29
about each other that they never knew in doing this.
40:34
It's so intimate and it helps you if you're somebody who's
40:39
terrified of intimacy, it will really help ease you into that
40:45
and can either send you into a panic attack or it can help you
40:52
to become free of your fear of intimacy.
40:56
It's just, it's, it's so beautiful, like AI love it on
40:59
that deeper level. And for those that are like,
41:04
Nah, man, that's not me. That's not what I'm about.
41:06
I just want the, the I want to pull some hair.
41:10
I want to buy some necks, smack some asses.
41:13
I love seeing them butt cheeks get red.
41:17
I do too. I love that.
41:19
That's fucking awesome. Like that's yes, but it can also
41:26
be a much deeper thing. If that's what people want and
41:30
it's your BDSM, you make it what fits your needs and find
41:36
somebody else that shares in those needs.
41:40
Anyway, sorry I get preachy. No, you're OK.
41:44
And the Lord said, be you spanked in my name.
41:57
Goodness gracious. Yeah, I'll post that link as
42:01
well on this episode so people can can catch it up and try it
42:06
out. It's so true.
42:08
Yeah, it's, it's. Have you filled one out?
42:10
I mean, I'm sure you've you have your own version of it.
42:13
I do. I have, you know, I, I'm like
42:17
you. I think I just know myself so
42:19
well after, you know, 30 years of this, you know.
42:24
I like I like to do the what is it the bdsm.org test or
42:31
bdsmtest.org? I think it is.
42:33
I like to do that when I was highly, highly active, every
42:42
time the doors of the dungeon of a dungeon within a 2 hour
42:46
driving radius of me was open, I was there.
42:52
I would top 12 people a night service topping and I would go
43:00
through that, that BSM test about every six months to see
43:06
where see if I changed anything. And granted, it's, it's not 100%
43:12
accurate. Definitely won't disagree
43:15
because there are people out there that I've met that hate
43:17
that thing. Like, why would you waste your
43:19
time doing that? And it's not a waste of time.
43:22
You just have to take it with a grain of salt.
43:24
But then and then going through my own checklist every six
43:29
months to a year and I still do that even though I'm not as
43:32
active. Like I do it at least I'd say
43:35
every year and a half just to see, because the more that I
43:40
play, the more that I talk to people and get different
43:45
perspectives, the the more I may change.
43:50
And so I want to keep up with that.
43:52
And I can be highly resistant to change.
43:57
And so knowing that about myself, I kind of, I kind of
44:03
have a way of mind fucking myself into not being so
44:07
resistant to change and, and redoing those tests is just one
44:17
way that I can do that. So, and, and I'm not trying to
44:21
plug myself. I don't do my, I haven't done my
44:22
podcast in a couple of years now, but I do want to say that
44:26
if anybody wants does that, the, the survey on there will ask for
44:32
your e-mail address. You do not get put into my
44:36
e-mail list. It asks that so it can e-mail
44:40
you a copy for you to print out and and so you and your partner
44:46
can fill those out, print out those copies or pull it up on
44:50
your phone and then go over them together.
44:53
That's that's the only reason. Yeah, no, I don't.
44:57
The only emails I ever sent out anyway was when I published a
45:00
new episode. And I haven't done that, like I
45:03
said, in a couple years. So but that that tool, because I
45:09
wanted people to be able to do it without having to worry about
45:12
spam and all that stuff. Yeah, it does not get put on any
45:16
list. Oh, that's awesome.
45:18
Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah.
45:20
I think that's, I completely agree with you.
45:22
It's just such a good thing that you can self reflect and that
45:25
people can discover more about themselves.
45:27
I guess just with me, I'm just doing it every day, either
45:31
professionally or personally, you know, it's, it's just
45:35
something I know that I love doing And I, I, I don't think
45:40
anything that there really hasn't been, that I haven't
45:43
already experienced that I could say, you know, I think if
45:47
anything, I've grown more into what I enjoy, you know.
45:52
Yeah, Master Gear, who's learned under Master Gabriel of House
46:03
Ravenblood, who learned under Mistress Cyan, who runs Dom Con
46:11
he which there's Dom Con Los Angeles and Dom Con New Orleans.
46:16
They they were in Atlanta at one point, but those are the two
46:21
primary before COVID hit. They were going to go to Europe
46:26
and Australia, but that hasn't happened yet.
46:31
Anyway, master gear is somewhat of an anomaly in that he's a
46:41
switch or they they're a switch and like I did a three plus hour
46:52
episode with him them about CBT cock and ball torture and cock
47:05
cages and all of this stuff and I and that is one of their
47:11
absolute favorite things to experience.
47:14
I'm like, no, I'm not into any. I will do sounding on others.
47:20
I will not participate in it. I've taken classes on it and the
47:26
last class that I took on it. Worst presenter, most hateful
47:31
person in the community I've ever met, but also one of the
47:37
best teachers. Two things can be true at the
47:39
same time. One of the greatest teachers
47:42
that I've ever seen that I've ever taken class from, and the
47:46
way that she taught it made me interested in sounding well.
47:51
I've not done it on myself. Not opposed to it, just never
47:57
woke up and be like, OK, today's the day.
47:59
I'm going to give that a go. I'm talking to master gear about
48:05
the the cock cages and I'm like, do you know, I have ordered many
48:13
of people to put them on. I've put many on people and it's
48:18
one of the few things that and sounding and maybe 2-3 other
48:23
things that I've done to others that I've never experienced
48:27
myself and I'm very big on. If you're going to do it to
48:32
somebody else, you need to know what it feels like.
48:35
You need to have it done to you. I'm not saying that everybody
48:38
needs to start out as a submissive or as a bottom, but I
48:41
am saying that if you're going to take a single tail to
48:43
somebody, then the person that you're learning single tail from
48:48
should be also showing you what it feels like.
48:53
And you should be accepting of that because there's different
48:58
techniques. You're like, you know, they can
48:59
show you. When I'm teaching somebody, I'm
49:01
like, OK, this is this part of the cracker is where you want to
49:06
hit somebody with. Normally I have a cracker laying
49:09
here on my desk, but this part is going to feel this way when
49:14
you hit with this intensity or this intensity, if you want to
49:17
do a full drag with with the knot, it's going to leave this
49:21
mark and do this. And this is what this feels
49:23
like. And you know, these types of
49:27
things, floggers, whatever common or uncommon toy that you
49:33
happen to use, it's very, very important to me to know what
49:41
that's going to feel like. So I was very limited in, and I
49:47
am very limited in what I will do to somebody else.
49:49
I hate electrical. Oh my God, I that is, that is
49:55
absolute freaking torture to me. I had to go for a nerve study
50:00
and they they shock you all up and down your arms and then they
50:04
insert needles and then they shock through those needles that
50:08
are inserted into the muscle right there into the the part of
50:14
the hand below the thumb is the absolute most painful thing I
50:19
think I've ever experienced next to a pinched nerve in my back
50:22
that made me dry heaved for a good 30 minutes.
50:26
But I still know what every setting on my violent Wand or my
50:35
Doc Johnson shocker, you know, my Taser, I know what they feel
50:42
like. My 10s unit, which 10s units,
50:46
That's the only kind of electrical play.
50:48
But that's a totally different game.
50:51
But I'm into that because of my injury.
50:55
But yeah, Valent One and stuff and knowing that, OK, if I plug
50:59
it into this outlet, it's it very well could have a different
51:05
power than what it has plugged into this outlet.
51:10
And people don't realize that. And yeah, there was at our local
51:14
play space when I was going there, I knew that one outlet
51:18
over on one wall set it at 3 is going to be about the same
51:26
equivalent as a nine over on the other one.
51:29
But the only reason that I knew that is because every time I
51:35
plugged it in, turned it to five and tapped it to my skin to see
51:39
what it felt like at that particular level.
51:42
And then I would run it up and down to like 3:00 and 7:00 to
51:48
see where that was at every single time.
51:52
Just because I'm neurotic like that.
51:54
I think that's a little extreme, but yeah, it's just important to
52:00
me to to make sure I want everybody to have the best time.
52:03
And if I screw up and do something that makes somebody
52:06
say red, that that's that's screwing myself over you.
52:14
Know because they screwing them over but you don't get to play
52:18
Yeah, screwing. Me over.
52:21
That's no, that's no good. No bueno.
52:24
No, oh papi, no bueno. Oh goodness, I.
52:33
Had When I was about 19, Makita brought a friend home.
52:41
She was from northern Mexico and her her thing was for things to
52:48
be no good and it was just some some little inside joke that it
52:57
started before me and it become part of her erotic experience.
53:04
But it I would hear that a lot. Oh Poppy no Plano.
53:11
Like damn it don't say it again. Not unless you want this to be
53:15
over in like 3 seconds. Oh goodness, that's too funny.
53:21
Wow. Oh yeah, it was good times.
53:24
Anyway, now I've made my face red.
53:30
That's too funny. Well, I think this has been a
53:35
great episode. I.
53:36
Can't believe it's been an hour already.
53:38
It's crazy. It is.
53:40
It's so crazy. Such a good time.
53:44
I love talking to you, you're an amazing person.
53:47
Thank you. Same here.
53:48
Same here. Thank you.
53:50
Same here. Yeah, we'll have to.
53:53
We'll have to meet up in Atlanta just on a fun whim and go to a
53:58
dungeon and have some fun. Yeah, I talked to my wife about
54:02
heading down your way. Oh yeah.
54:04
And we are heading out to Arizona, packing up the camper
54:09
and heading out there at the end of this month and that's a two
54:13
week thing. So unfortunately, we won't be
54:16
able to make it down to Florida soon because that's too much
54:23
vacation time for. Her.
54:25
So unfortunately we are not going to be able to do that
54:28
right now, but sometime soon. Absolutely.
54:33
Or soon ish. I definitely want to do that.
54:36
I think she gets some more vacation time toward the end of
54:40
summer or something like that. So yeah, hopefully I can get
54:48
down that way. I'm, I'm dying to get back to
54:50
the shed in Orlando and just make a, a big trip around and do
54:56
several things in that area. Because I, I know a lot of
55:01
people down there and a lot of them are pretty pissed at me
55:06
that I hadn't been down in about four years, I think four or
55:10
five. Years and five.
55:11
Years. Yeah.
55:12
God, going on six years now. Jesus, it's been too long.
55:17
You'll have to check out Sidetracks, they're in New
55:20
Smyrna Beach a good friend of mine runs at.
55:23
Yeah, you can check them out with an X at the end, that's
55:29
how. I wrote it New Smyrna.
55:34
Yeah, they're on Fetlife Smyrna. Beach.
55:39
Yeah, OK. They've got a cool set up.
55:42
They they just had a Dom party Saturday.
55:47
Cool people. Nice.
55:49
Yeah, very cool. I want to give a shout out to
55:54
Clinton SC for kink stock. They do it there.
55:59
They have a spring session and a fall session.
56:02
So if anybody is around there and they're experienced or
56:06
they're completely brand new, let me tell you, it's a great
56:08
place to learn. They they bring in educators.
56:12
I've taught there a couple times and they make sure that they
56:16
rotate educators like it since I taught there in a fall session
56:21
and then in spring session, then I have to take time off from
56:25
being able to go back and teach there.
56:27
But it's a place that like I want to go this fall.
56:32
It's a like a four or five day event.
56:35
It's phenomenal. The the people there are so
56:38
accepting. It's the most, it's the coziest
56:43
event that I've ever been to. Oh wow.
56:46
And I like out of all my years of doing this, 30 years of doing
56:52
this and traveling and teaching, I've traveled all over the US
56:58
and taught. That is my spot that I I feel at
57:06
home just thinking about the place.
57:09
That's awesome, you have to send me a link so I can post it.
57:12
Yeah, will do. If anybody is is in that area,
57:16
it's a vetted event. So you do need to to work out
57:20
being vetted, especially if you're thinking about traveling
57:24
to it. But absolutely phenomenal.
57:27
There's a there's tents, a tent area.
57:31
It's a big camping event and then they're they've got RV and
57:35
camper parking too. I think they cap it at like 100
57:39
people or something like that. So yeah, phenomenal.
57:43
Anyway, I always, I always want to mention them anytime I talk
57:46
to somebody because they're just, it's such an amazing
57:48
place. That's awesome.
57:51
Well, Cauldron, thank you again, and we'll certainly catch up
57:55
soon. Absolutely.
57:57
Thank you so much. It it feels good to to be back
58:02
in this seat behind the microphone and talking to
58:05
somebody about the things that just put that shit eating grin
58:10
on my face. Hey, it's the place for you.
58:12
I'm glad you came to the mic. That's the point.
58:15
Yeah, talking about places that I feel home right here, talking
58:19
to you, actually. You.
58:21
You've given me a new home since I since I gave up my old one.
58:29
As temporary as it may be, I'm very grateful.
58:32
No, no, it's OK. It's OK because I know people
58:36
enjoy this, especially just the, the educational part of it.
58:39
You know, people need to hear it and get knowledgeable of it.
58:43
You know, it's, it's just an important thing that to talk
58:45
about honestly, 'cause I go and talk about kinks all the time,
58:48
but we get down a little deeper. It's it's more fun.
58:51
Yeah, yeah. And I think that's, you know,
58:55
something that people are missing so much and why podcasts
58:59
are so great because not everybody can feel safe or feel
59:05
comfortable going to a class. But you know, every episode is
59:11
some type of class. And you know, that's, that's the
59:17
great thing. You're, you're doing the Lord's
59:19
work here, Mistress me, the Lord's work.
59:24
I puppy. Oh, he's now.
59:34
I have a little Mexican enemy, I promise it's.
59:37
Been a long time since I've called somebody mistress in a
59:40
minute. You keep talking like that and I
59:45
might have to say it. Oh goodness, you're too fun.
59:52
You're too fun. I love it.
59:54
Life's too short. Don't.
59:56
Never it really. Hurts like whether whether
59:58
you're a dominant, A submissive, a switch, a top bottom, a pony,
1:00:04
a whatever you're. Furry, slut, whore, whatever.
1:00:08
Yeah, whatever your role is, don't take it too serious like
1:00:11
there's. There's.
1:00:12
So much fun that can be had in in every single area.
1:00:20
And I think sometimes, especially on the, the dominant
1:00:25
side, people come in thinking that they have to be so
1:00:28
incredibly stern and, you know, dress the part and, and when
1:00:34
they put their their kid on, it puts them in a certain mindset.
1:00:39
And I get that. But learning the balance between
1:00:47
once that scene starts and developing a routine that gets
1:00:51
you into that mindset of the scene versus the mindset of
1:00:57
being in the play space, whether the play space is your personal
1:01:03
bedroom or a, you know, professional or public dungeon,
1:01:07
whatever. Yeah.
1:01:09
So anyway, sorry this is the third wrap up that we want.
1:01:15
I like to talk. You're OK?
1:01:17
You're OK. Colder and I have a talking
1:01:20
problem. Well, I think we'll just, we'll
1:01:27
hook you up again to the mic when you come back from Arizona,
1:01:32
OK? You know, just have a safe trip
1:01:34
and thank you again. All right.
1:01:37
All righty. Thank you so much.
1:01:38
It has been an absolute pleasure.
1:01:40
Same here. All right, so thank you again.
1:01:49
And until then, this has been the latest episode of Calling
1:01:52
Mistress.