Latest / Casually Crashing Out / UNPLUGGED: What Dreams Are Made Of
Transcript
- Taylor Coker: Welcome, welcome my unhinged baddies. I'm Taylor Coker and you're listening to Casually Crashing Out Unplugged. No, seriously guys, I am recording this episode with my phone. My editing capabilities are extremely limited right now, doing this intro in one take, hopefully. So please, please say a little prayer. Light a candle for your girl. Do whatever you gotta do. I'm gonna need all the help I can get this week. This whole thing has been challenging enough, learning it on the computer. And now I have to use my dinky iPhone that has like one gigabyte of storage left. I'm deleting precious memories from my camera roll so that I can give you guys an episode, is what I'm saying. That don't tell y'all how committed I am. Okay. It's dedication right there. For those that have better things to do than keep up with the shitstorm that is my life, I'll catch you up real quick. My brand new Mac, aka my current lifeline, is out of commission for two weeks, guys. Two weeks. Now, if it sounds like I'm slightly losing my mind right now, then I'm doing a damn good job because I am currently on the verge of spiraling. I truly didn't realize how much I rely on my computer for so much. It adds a level of organization for someone like me that cannot be replicated. Especially with an iPhone that can't even receive emails right now. So ⁓ it's gonna be fine. We're gonna be fine. I will say this finding things to fill my time while I'm mourning the loss of my computer. It's not safe for me. Okay. I start getting restless. Reckless and restless, if you will. My brand new Hillary Duff shirt, the one I was waiting for, could not wait for it to come, guys. I told y'all about it. Well, it finally arrived. And because apparently I'm a seamstress in my downtime, I decided last minute that I was going to try to cut it to try to make it cuter. And so I Googled it and apparently that was enough to qualify me, in my head at least, to make this shirt my bitch. Well ⁓ you could probably guess the outcome there. Mm-hmm. It all happened so fast, you know. I told y'all, restless and reckless. I need to do better about putting my energy towards something that doesn't involve scissors next time though. What I am getting better about is accepting what is. So as annoying as the Hillary Duff t shirt thing was, it was never meant to be, y'all. And that's the thing about your life. What's meant to be will always be. Stop trying to force what was never meant for you. I don't know who needs to hear that. But the sooner you accept what is and let go of what isn't, life becomes a whole lot more humbling and a whole lot more wholesome. Stress you didn't get that job? Sis. That just means there's something bigger and better for you in the works. Don't stress what ain't written in your story. Sad about a breakup? That's normal. But babes, that person ain't on your wavelength anymore. You need a different energy around you for what you got coming. And you need to let it be and know that it will work itself out in the end. And you need to have faith that you will be a bigger, batter, and braver bitch after all is said and done. All that being said, welcome to the very first Casually Crashing Out Unplugged. We're casually crashing, laughing while we're spirling. We're casually crashing, we're fine until we're not. Now, since you guys can't visibly see me at the moment, let me explain to you exactly what is going on right now, just so you're aware. Normally, when your girl records, she has her big mics, her computer, her fancy editing software. I just sit down with my Alani or my glass of red wine, depending on the time of day, of course. And I just let her flow. You know, let the floodgates open. I was born to yap, so I never run out of things to say, guys. But yeah, I'll do that for an hour or two, a couple times a week, and then I will go through at my leisure, of course, and I will pick out what I like, get rid of what I don't like. ⁓ there's a lot of wiggle room, is what I'm getting at. In comparison to what's going on right now, which is me sitting on my back porch at 6 a.m. Because it is the only time and place that is quiet long enough for me to do this in my home. I have a phone mic clipped to me and my ADHDS is reading a script, well, somewhat of a script. I have to have something to keep me on track because I know me and I will go off on a tangent if I don't have something to keep me in line. So yeah, my editing capabilities very, very limited. I'm basically trying to make orange juice with lemons over here. No biggie. Just feel like R. Kelly. for my fucking life. Yeah, so usually I would have little segments, little fun jingles, but today's episode is gonna be what it is. Gotta work with what we have. and that means all in one tape, guys. On a good note, that means you will never have a more raw or real episode than right here, right now. You are indeed currently front row at a Taylor Coker crash out show. Lucky you! On that note, I wanted to open the episode with a story that I think you guys will really appreciate. At my expense, of course, per usual. Let's just say that independent fly by the seat of her pants girl, aka me at 23, yeah, she gone. And sometimes it takes a few days away from your husband for you to realize how not independent you are anymore. Let's see, let's see, where do I begin this story? How do I begin this story? I guess we need to take it all the way back to the 2000s, shall we? Y2K was my childhood, y'all. Disney Channel, Lizzie McGuire, I mean, need I say more? When I found out Hilary Duff was coming to Cincinnati, I was elated, to say the least. So a group of us fellow millennials decided to. Join forces and head out there to see the queen herself. Live and in color, baby. Now, normally I don't do things without my caretaker. I mean my husband. Because he is just that guys. He is my caretaker, my bodyguard, my chauffeur, my ATM, all the things. But his daughter was in town this summer, and I don't know, we just decided it was better for him to sit this one out against our better judgment. Nonetheless, I did all the things you guys. I booked the Airbnb. I had our tickets ready. I looked up parking. I had Uber on standby. I mean, I thought I had done more than enough to ensure a pretty easy trip. Now, before I left, the only thing my husband asked of me was not to lose my wallet. He said, Please don't bring it in the concert. I know you'll leave it. I said, I promise I won't take it in. Don't worry. I mean, I had plenty of stern talks from my husband before that concert. But the main thing was the wallet. I may or may not have a history of wallet issues. So ⁓ that morning, I'm getting ready. I'm so excited. I haven't been this excited about a night out with friends in a while. And this was highly anticipated, y'all. I go pick Hannah up. The day hasn't started off great, by the way, just because Jason and I were squabbling all morning and we were also running pretty late. But again, we were just excited to be young, wild, and free for the next 24 hours, y'all. ⁓ we do realize that we're not gonna have time to go out for drinks before like we had planned. So we're probably just gonna have to get a couple like get ready drinks. You know how it goes. Some get ready drinks. ⁓ while we get ready for the concert. So we stop at a gas station, we get our drinks, we fill up on gas, and then we go to our Airbnb. I had booked the Airbnb downtown Cincinnati thinking like perfect, we're around all the bars and the restaurants and all the nightlife. ⁓ but at this point, we're running late. We're annoyed because there's only like certain parking spots in downtown Cincinnati and it's busy, and you know, we're we're just trying to get Parked so we can get situated so we can go hang out with our best bestie Hillary, is what I'm saying. ⁓ we finally find parking and it's super conveniently like across the street from where we're staying. We can literally see the car from the window in our unit. I'm like perfect, because I was worried about leaving it somewhere downtown, but I could see it. So it made me feel a little better. I will say the only thing, downtown parking is a fucking scam, and they only let you pay until 4 a.m. So after four AM, the clock starts over because everyone's awake at four AM, right? Right. Hannah and I are apparently just in La La Land the whole time because we're like, ⁓ we'll just come back down here after the concert and we'll move the car. And we'll set our alarm for like three thirty. Three thirty AM because that's normal. Whatever we need to do. We gotta get to our bestie. Hillary's waiting for us. ⁓ we're jamming out. You know how it goes when you're getting ready for a concert, guys. We get our Uber, it picks us up. My husband calls me again. He's like, do not bring your wallet. I'm like, I did it, bring it. I have my ID and I have my phone to pay for things. Again, I'm I'm so responsible at this point, right? I'm doing all the right things. We get out there, we find our friends. We're having a blast, guys. I mean, I'm singing my heart out. The nostalgia at this concert is like so fucking real. But We're sitting in the lawn at Riverbend. So going to the restrooms means you're stepping your way through towels, drinks, sleeping children. I mean, you name it. It's like tooth and nail out there. And I have pea anxiety for those that don't know. I have a lot of different anxieties, but pea anxiety is one of them. One of the many. ⁓ so the last time that we went to the bathroom, I was like, you know what? I I didn't feel like fighting my way back through that sea of people. It was like ten o'clock. I I'm an old lady, by the way. I'm an old lady, guys. I was like, if we don't call this Uber now, we're gonna be out here forever. And I'm not doing it. So we call the Uber, we text our friends, we're like, just call us when you leave. We're walking out of the concert on cloud nine still, you know, singing. We can hear Hillary in the background. Like, why don't we do this more often, girl? Our husbands don't have any faith in us. Just two young girlies limited up in Cincinnati. We were on our way to our comfy clothes and the taco place under our Airbnb. There were margaritas waiting for us with our name on them. ⁓ we're in the Uber lot for quite a while and we realize that we've been waiting way too long at this point. And the app, the Uber app, is just jumping up and up and up in wait times. And we realize that we've been waiting so long that the concert has now let out. And we all of a sudden start getting notifications saying that they can't find us a driver anymore. Obviously, we're confused. We're like, but we've been out here for over an hour now, you know, and just thousands of people start pouring out of the arena. Thousands of them. Lizzie McGuire look-alikes, y'all. Just all of in search of a way to get home. And here we are. Just me and Hannah in the thick of it in Cincinnati, alone, no husbands in sight. DM. ⁓ Hannah's phone is dying at this point, by the way. I tried to download Uber, but if I haven't said it enough times already, my phone is having major storage issues lately. so I was deleting apps trying to get Uber is the point is what I'm getting at. ⁓ I felt like a little child lost in the mall. Like just looking around, my big eyes, like, sir, where's my mom? Except in our case we were like, Sir, where's our husbands? The cops are yelling at everybody. ⁓ Hannah and I have no clue what to do. We're still in queue for an Uber at this point, by the way. All I can think to do is call my husband, and he's just chewing my ass out like there's no tomorrow. So I hang up on him, and now I'm running around in a pink sparkly halter covered in rhinestones, have tinsel in my hair. I'm crying, makeup's running down my face. I'm peeing in bushes. I felt feral as fuck, y'all. ⁓ we finally get an Uber, by the way, by the by the grace of God. ⁓ or it could have been like the hundred and twenty dollars we spent on a Priority Express luxury ride. Maybe that was it. Was the nicest Uber I've ever been in, by the way. Smelled incredible. Incredible. It immediately when I got in, I felt I felt better. Smelled like Abercrombie mixed with like defeat, is how I would describe it. Honestly. We didn't get home till like 1 a.m., guys. Everything's closed. No tacos for us. No marks for us. We're just shells of ourselves at this point. Super sparkly shells. Covered in glitter, but shells nonetheless. We stumbled into this Airbnb. And I say stumbled because we're exhausted, because we had completely sobered up at this point. We were not drunk at all anymore. Unfortunately. ⁓ we are both starving though. We haven't eaten all day because we were supposed to eat before the concert. We didn't have time. We're supposed to eat after the concert, but we got stranded for three hours. So we're just hangry girls at this point, with no husbands to go hunt food for us on the streets of Cincinnati. So we're just having to door dash whatever is open, which by the way, the only thing open was Skyline Chili, and it was Fifty dollars and over an hour and a half wait for a burger, a hot dog, and some French fries. And they forgot my hot dog, so But I had just given up at that point. I mean, it was almost 3 a.m. I was I was done. I was cramping. I was missing my husband and my Reap Rumber Red, if I'm being quite honest. First world problems, am I right? No, but seriously, ⁓ that bed sucked. I don't think I got a solid minute of sleep. I was up and down all night. I finally moved to the couch. Mind you, the window is open. I can see my car. Remember, guys, my car is right across the street. I'm just Contemplating life. You know how I do. Casually crashing at 6 a.m. I don't know if it was the smell of joints burning below or the city buses honking. ⁓ but I just I felt so relaxed, you know. I felt completely at peace. And I just blissfully dozed off, no stressing, just finally. It was amazing. ⁓ for at least a solid forty five minutes until I woke up to the sound of Hannah's voice telling me that there was a boot on my car. ⁓ bro. So I immediately jumped up, just like, what? Yeah. Y'all, the window was open, by the way. Like all night. I had clear view of my car. I was awake all fucking night. Except for these last forty five minutes. Which is when they put the fucking boot on my car. And that's when it dawns on me that we never renewed my parking. Guys, I walked out of that Airbnb down to my car, ready to fight anybody and everybody. Homeless people are walking by just bless you. Hope your day gets better. One actually said, Yeah, they'll get you with those boots. I'm like, no shit. I actually said that to them. No shit. ⁓ I think Hannah was a little scared of me at this point. So she tells me to go upstairs and get my stuff because I am just I have made it clear to her and everybody else on the streets of Cincinnati watching that day that I hated that city, that I was leaving ASAP and that I would never be back ever again. I run upstairs. Mind you, there's like a million fucking stairs to this Airbnb. So I am huffing and puffing all the way up there. It's not making things any better. Not to mention there is a woman right outside of my door that is applying deodorant to a lot of questionable parts of her body. Right outside the front door. I I I did not have time to worry about that or even internally ask questions at that point. My Whole mission was to get my stuff and get the fuck out. So I grabbed all my stuff, I grabbed Hannah's stuff, and I realized in the midst of all the crazy madness in the last 24 hours, I have somehow misplaced my fucking wallet. I tear that place apart. I cannot find it. I go downstairs. I search the wall. I search the car. Still can't find it. Hannah's like, last time I saw I was on top of the car when you pumped gas. You got it, didn't you? I'm like, what? Like You mean yesterday, bitch? No, I didn't get it. What the fuck? Telling me this now. It was filled with nothing but half-burke credit cards, anyways, which all needed to be replaced. I don't know if that makes it any better, but I am fuming at this point. I was like, as soon as that mother gets here to get this boot off my fing car, I am going off on his ass. If you can't tell, iMouth tends to get me in trouble quite a bit. It's a common theme. We're standing on the streets of Cincinnati waiting for almost an hour for someone to come get this boot off, and all of a sudden this Listen, I am a happily, happily, happily married woman. But this man looked like he may or may not be straight out of Love Island. Okay. Like, why why is this some man that's coming to get this boot off my car? And then he's like, I don't put ⁓ on, I just take ⁓ off. I bet you do, sir. I bet you do. But what was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to say to frickin' Pepe while he's getting the boot off my car? With his muscles just glistening in the sunshine. What am I supposed to say to him? It's like I hope your ladies have a great day. I'm like, you two. You fucking two. And I actually mean that. We did go to Jungle Gyms. That was the highlight of our whole trip, I think, was going to Jungle Gyms the next morning and getting pickled carrots and cake truffles. We almost sat at the bar there and drank, but ⁓ Hannah had a work meeting, so we couldn't. That was the only thing stopping us though. It was it was we were right there. We were on the cusp. It was a pretty bad night before. We were st we were trying to salvage it any way we could at that point. Yeah, so these last few days just haven't been the best. But you know what? I will say this. I always try to see the silver lining in things. It's all you can do in situations like this. There's always a reason for everything. You know, what do they say? It's there for a reason or a season. A blessing or a lesson. Speaking of seasons, it's almost fall, y'all. Or is it? I don't know. I don't know. I just know Hobby Lobby and TJ Maxx look like a pumpkin patch right now, so that is usually how I judge. I was scrolling on Disney Plus and past Hocus Pocus, like should I? No, no. I would be so bad. I couldn't. I couldn't dare. But but I am on that cusp, y'all. I need that rush of dopamine right about now. I need crisp air in my lungs. I need to smell cinnamon and pumpkins all the time for no reason. I need football on. Even though I don't watch it, I just need it on in the background while I do stuff because that's just how my ADHD works. I also need my husband outside chopping wood for no reason. I just wearing his flannel, chopping wood day in and day out, like a true fall Kentucky gentleman. It's what my inner self is craving right now. We also randomly have an inflatable hot tub. So we'll see how it goes. She was only $200 too. And she was used. But you know, beggars can't be complainers. You gotta improvise sometimes when you're romanticizing your life constantly. I'm telling you right now, there ain't nothing like sitting in a hot tub after a long day. Another thing I found that I love doing lately is the DIY at home paint and sip. You go buy like a pack of the little canvases from the craft store and some paint, and you can literally YouTube at home paint and sip. Me and my husband do it for date night all the time. We're both like artsy fartsy people, so we love shit like that. ⁓ so yeah, spooky season is almost upon us and then Turkey Day of course, and then you know The unspoken. Listen, as much as I love Christmas, I am nowhere near ready for that shit right now. I gotta clear up a whole lot of physical and mental space to get in the holly jolly spirit. It is not an easy gig. I can attest. My wallet can also attest. And with that being said, why is being an adult so fucking expensive right now? Like every day costs me money. Every day of me living cost me money. Why? And how is it that I survived on like $600 paychecks every two weeks in my 20s? And I lived on my own and I got groceries and I went out and I had my own car, but now I'm married. So that's two incomes. And we're over here like struggle busing, y'all. There's gotta be a secret club that I'm not a part of or something. I'm sure it also doesn't help that I'm bougie AF. Thanks, mom. I blame you for that. I inherited your expensive taste, which in turn has given my husband expensive taste. So now this is just who we are, living a life we can barely afford. But in our two hundred dollar hot tub. See? Balance. Balance. Ugh, we did talk about balance in the last episode, so I don't want to go ⁓ too much further into that. What I am gonna shed a little light on today in this episode is a motto that I live, sleep, and breathe 24 7. And that is romanticizing your life. No one's gonna do it for you guys. It is all on you. Life gets mundane. If I just went through every day, like ugh. Tomorrow have to wake up, peg up my house, work on my podcast in the morning, have to go grocery shopping, and then make dinner for my husband, and then go to bed, and then do it all over again the next day. Well, none of that sounds any type of interesting. Okay. We as humans, I I think we naturally thrive on romance and adding that level of zest or spice to your life. So instead of thinking of every day as a list of to-do chores, think about it like, ooh, I gotta wake up tomorrow before everyone else, and I'm gonna make my house nice and cozy. I'm gonna start my day off so peacefully, gonna make fresh coffee, do some writing on my porch with my cat. Gonna look up some new recipes, and then I'm gonna make a grocery list. I'm gonna put my headphones in, listen to my favorite podcast while I walk through the grocery store. Ooh, and then I'll pick up a face mask while I'm out, and I'll do a self-care night. I'll have candles lit after dinner, music playing, hair treatment, face mask, my favorite comfort show playing in the background, and then just doze off blissfully. Now, doesn't that sound like a heavenly ass day? Guess what? That's how I plan every day of my life, y'all. And you can too if you just got your head out of your ass. You deserve to love yourself. You deserve to take yourself on dates too. When was the last time you did anything alone to treat yourself? Go take yourself to lunch. Go take yourself to the movies. Go get a massage for God's sakes. Make today better than any other day. Only you can do that, you know? Mental health is mental wealth. It's too easy nowadays to get sucked into feeling stuck or like you're treading water trying to stay afloat. You will wear yourself out before you can catch your breath again, babes. You need to indulge in yourself, invest time and energy into your current state of mind. Romanticize every freaking day, every freaking moment. Just pack your day full of things you love. Try to have constructive things mostly, by the way. If you like naps, by all means, sis, take that nap. But don't like sleep the day away. That's called depression, bitch. When you wake up, it is time to start your show that the world is watching and they all want you to succeed. Now go live your fucking life, bitch. Live your life and love your life. Once again, it is that time, my Crash Out Queens. I know I say this all the time, and I'll say it a million times over. Thank you to all that listen, comment, share, message, subscribe, follow all of the things. You guys are rock stars. I love that my passion for my creative outlet is inspiring and helping so many others chase their own dreams or even just get them through their day. When people tell me they've made casually crashing out a part of their daily routines, or they ask when the next episode is dropping, or they quote something from the episode, it just really makes my casually crashing heart very happy. I love it for me and I love it for you guys too. I do hope this unplugged episode was all you guys could have asked for and more. I am a perfectionist and I worked extremely hard on it. Probably too hard, honestly. There were many a tear shed. Y'all just remember we're all going through our own shit. Okay? Be kind, be understanding. Don't lose it. Storms are scary. They bring dark clouds, lightning, thunder. No one wants to be standing in the middle of the storm. But just remember when that storm leaves, it's gonna leave behind flowers and rainbows and little singing birdies. That storm is making you stronger and building the foundation for what you have coming. I'll leave you with that spiral squad. And remember, just because you are casually crashing never means you're crashing alone. See y'all in two weeks. Same time, different chaos. We're casually crashing. Laughing while we're spiraling. We're casually crashing. We're fine until we're not.