Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Chris Mader - Fatherhood, Resilience, and Personal Growth

Transcript

Chris Mader - Fatherhood, Resilience, and Personal Growth · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder, and this is my dad show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast, and, as I promised, we do finally have a new and exciting sponsor that's going to be joining us over the next 13 weeks or so, and they it is called the authentic edge podcast, which is going to be launching very, very soon.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: It is a podcast that is led by the fantastic and successful Jason DeLuca and executive sales and people leader at Dexian, as well as with a Paul DeFrancenzo, who is a global sales leader at indeedcom.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: This podcast, authentic edge, as I mentioned, is, is launching in the next month and it's really about a journey into the heart and genuine relationships into the workplace.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: So they're going to talk about uncovering the profound impact that authenticity has on establishing instant trust, fostering long-term partnerships, as well as creating serendipitous connections that evolve into endearing business and personal relationships, which is exactly how I would describe my relationship with Jason and Paul.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: So, without further ado, let's get right to the next episode, and I hope that you check out the authentic edge wherever you consume your podcasts.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: We are in season five and we are rolling through this this season, and our next guest is someone I met, I believe to the fantastic Justin Priest, who was a guest on our previous episode, where we learned a lot about him and got some great dad wisdom.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Our next guest is a gentleman named Chris Mader.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: He is a top 15 coach in Boston.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: He is the founder of MTA Consultancy, which does fantastic leadership and sales coaching for not only the staffing industry, but I think he's going to be impacting other industries as well.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: He's the author of the upcoming book Make the Adjustment, which I love, that he also was Tommy the Tar at Rollins College.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: That's false, he was not, but I thought I'd try to see if I can make him giggle.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: But, more importantly, we're going to talk to Chris the dad and how he's continually to work hard on being that ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: So, without further ado, mr Mader, welcome to the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: It's an honor to be here, Casey, and yeah, we met about a year ago through Justin and it was really nice of him to make that introduction and I was just getting my own consulting company going at that time and you were very kind with your time and shared a lot of insight and wisdom.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: That was very helpful and very meaningful, so it's really great to be with you today.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Well, many people helped me along the way and I think, as the thing we continue to do is, everybody keeps sending the elevator back down and helping each other and I'm sure there's things that you're going to help me in some way in the fashion, I think it's just doing the right thing and there's enough business for everybody out there, and I think it's if you have an abundance mindset, it just I feel like more stuff comes back at you full circle.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm a big fan of karma and just how you treat people.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: And I know you believe that too, because when we met it's funny we talk about my book.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: You know you, you partly helped inspire me to write it.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: I remember we talked at a conference last year it was a Bullhorn Engage conference and I said, you know, casey, I you know, you told me you wrote your book and I and I wanted to read.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: I did read it.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: It's awesome, and I even referenced some of the content.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: Sometimes when I train salespeople, but you said, well, chris, like why haven't you written?
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: I'm like I'm that advice that probably just pushed me over the edge to just do it and I finally did it, Can't wait.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like they always say don't let the start stop you.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good line, that is a good line, so yeah.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Well, so were you, tommy the Tar.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: I was not Tommy the Tar, so the Rollins College Tars are the mid shipment, if you will, from the Navy.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: But yeah, Tommy Tar was a cool mascot that we had down there at Rollins College in Winter Park, Florida and I found my way down there via Tewksbury, Massachusetts in the Northeast, and a lot of kids in the Northeast that were chasing baseball found their way down there and I found that the biggest difference between Division One baseball and Division Two baseball was that the Division one guys were all six, three to six six and we were all five, 11 to six, two.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: It was just really size.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: So there you go.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: I that can relate to that from football.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: I mean I it was size and speed, um, but yeah, I mean it's a lot of memories anyway.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: So I digress, but I always like to start each episode with gratitude.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: You know the relationships I have with my children.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: You know my kids are now 24, 21 and 19.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: I have a boy and two girls and I deeply value the time I had with him.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: Growing up I really worked hard to kind of almost emulate my father.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: Growing up my dad was in sales.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: He worked very hard and I didn't see him a lot until I was like age nine or 10.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: And when I turned 10, he opened his own business to spend more time with me.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: He coached all of my teams and so when my kids were born, I wanted to be as much like my dad as he was for me, and so I coached my son in Little League.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: I was the Little League president.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: I was always driving my middle daughter, brooke, to cheerleading and soccer, even though I didn't coach those teams.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: And then my youngest daughter, kate, uh, ended up being an avid hockey player and I loved hockey, being from the Northeast, and so I coached her till age 16.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: So I really deeply valued what I always call the windshield time, just being in the car with the kids and in building those relationships.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: So you know, when they grew up later in life, just they knew their dad always had their back and you know I always say about you know, controlling.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: You can't control people right and so.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: But if you raise your kids right, they're going to make good decisions.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: And I just think that that time in their life is very formative, those years, and I just hope that the wisdom I gave them and the support I gave them would just carry them through the rest of their life.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: Well, what I'm grateful for is, um, I'm going to actually give my son some love.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: My son's graduating, so we're recording on May 30th I believe this episode will come out, uh, within a month and I'm grateful for, um, my son will be a graduated senior height from high school when, when this episode comes out which is just trips me out Um, or, he'll be just getting ready to graduate and he had this thing called the senior project.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: They have to do and they have to present essentially everything he learned from grade one all the way up through senior year.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: Um, he, uh, we had, uh, just like I'm people that know me, I'm a fan of the word practice and not wing it and so we, I taught him the power of like.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Okay, you're going to practice and like, what do you mean?
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: You're going to present to me and then you're going to present to me and your sister, and you're going to make it hard because, and your sister's going to try to make you laugh and you're going to have to keep straight face.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: And I gave him some just a little pointers about, like you know, tightening up his PowerPoint and when you speak, don't just stand, roam the room a little bit and insert some humor and I said let your personality come out, dude.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: I said if you do these things, you're going to blow them away, cause most seniors in high school aren't going to do this.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: He's like all right, so he did it All of a sudden.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: He's like he was like starting to do good.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: I'm like damn dude, maybe you're going to be the second employee I hired in this speaking business.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: We got going here and he did it and he said dad, I killed it.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: It was awesome.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: And then we got his like report back and said you know, ryder, you're a natural.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: You set the bar so high for every other speaker today, congratulations.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: He got like a 98 out of a hundred, which is like he's not.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: He's a good student, but not like that type of student.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it was just cool to see.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: I'm just grateful for one.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: He embraced it.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: He was asking me for help, but then he made it his own and he freaking killed it.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: It's awesome.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: It's tough for kids to take sometimes that advice from their dad and there you are a great public speaker and all these things and, to your point, you gave him great advice and you gave him great advice and that's an interesting story about nature and nurture, right?
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: The nature is, everybody has some level of DNA, but the nurture is you get in the right environment with the right help and that's what happens.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: So that's a really cool story.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: Man, that's awesome, that's great, that was fun, all right.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: Well, let's go inside the Mater Huddle.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: I know you got some big news recently that might have happened to you.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: Not yet.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: You had just um, you got some big news recently that might've happened, yeah, um, or it's going to be happening to you soon.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: Um, but go inside, let's talk about each member of the squad and then um, the upcoming news that we'll be coming away soon, yeah, so, um, well, there's a couple of things we have.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: we have work and we have outside of work, right, so I can cover.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: What do you want to cover?
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: first work or outside go.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: Let's go um outside of work okay.
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: So the long, the short version of a very long story is I was, um, I was married to my first wife for 24 years and we were amicably divorced about three years ago.
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: And you know, divorce it's a tough thing and you know, my parents weren't divorced they're still married 57 years.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: And, um, you know, my now ex-wife and I went to counseling and we ended up going to mediation and I will say I am very proud to say that I have a good relationship with my ex-wife and we still talk and text and co-parent and and there's no real like deep animosity.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: Obviously there's some sadness and some guilt and you know it's sad when people get divorced.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: There's nothing fun about it and I'm not going to, you know, but the toughest thing is the kids and I talked about my three kids and so doubtless, doubt, the toughest day of my life was telling my kids we were going to get divorced and you know, thankfully, I think the kids took it as well as kids can take it at that age and I worked very hard to continue to maintain that relationship with my kids.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: And you know, like all my friends told me about divorce, you know, chris, just because you get divorced doesn't make you a bad father, and you know so I didn't let the divorce impact me as a dad.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: Obviously, I think I've worked even harder now to spend quality time with my kids when I see them and which I still see them plenty, you know, between my travels and now I live about 90 miles away from them now.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, hammica will be divorced.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: And you know we had gone, we had gone through the tough times for probably a couple of years.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: It was, it was a long time coming.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: So by the time it happened, I was, you know, ready to start dating and so, as soon as you know I was divorced, I started dating and, um, it was funny.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: The second date I went on was this amazing woman named Melissa, and, um, we, immediate chemistry, immediately hit it off and she had been divorced six years.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: So the first thing she said to me you know, chris, like I've been out for a while, you haven't like you should keep dating.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: And I'm like I go, melissa, I'm having a good time with you, like I don't need to keep dating.
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: She's like, well, she goes, you should just go out there and see what you're you know.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: Know, just so you know how great I am, you should keep dating.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: So I go you're either the coolest person I've ever met or this is like a test and I don't want to fail the test.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: So I didn't keep dating, but I didn't really tell her that.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: Anyway, just kind of kept dating throughout the summer, went on dates and after about two months, casey, I just woke up on a Thursday morning and I said what are you doing tonight?
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: And she's like nothing.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: I'm like I'm going to come down and we lived about 90 miles away at the time and so I hopped in my car, got a dozen flowers and I said you know, unless I have no desire to see anybody else, like, I'm in love with you.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: And she said she was in love with me and started dating.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: And so now the story goes.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: You know, the happy ending of the story is we're getting married in the end of June, so actually 28 days from today exactly.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: So it's interesting how life has its twists and turns, and to say I've gone through a lot of change the last three years is a major, major understatement.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: But I didn't, you know, I didn't wasn't looking to get remarried or find that type of relationship as soon as I did, but I'm extremely grateful that I did.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: So cool.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: And then talk about your children.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: What are they up to and what's going on in their lives?
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: So my son is working now.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: So my son has a form of Asperger's and so I don't know if any.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: I'm sure people in your audience have children that have some sort of you know, mental or physical um, you know disabilities or issues, and so you know Kyle had Asperger's and um.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: So our relationship is interesting because he'll get fixated on things.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: So right now he's, he's been fixated more on like things like cooking and being a chef and things like that.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: So I see him you know major events, birthdays.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: No-transcript of COVID.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: She stayed back an extra year and she's likely going to go to SNHU with her sister next year, which I'm very grateful for because they have a great relationship and I think Kate is a little more introverted, quiet, so I think having that sister that can kind of look over, look after her at school would be a really good thing for her.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: And uh, were they athletes?
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Theater band.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: What were their jams?
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: So Kyle was more music and cooking.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: Um, brooke was more group activities like cheerleading, soccer team things like that Uh, very social.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: And then Kate was a little more introverted but big time at ice hockey.
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: She played all the sports.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: She was kind of a tomboy growing up.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: She played flag football, baseball, but she took to hockey.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: I built an outdoor rink for my kids from the age of two through 16.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: A nice 40 by 30 in my backyard.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: So all the kids skated their whole life.
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: Um, and my youngest just took to it and was just a natural.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: So cool, love that.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: Um, before we keep going into to to family, I, I I almost forgot to bring up the story.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: So, everybody, I have my first member member golf tournament coming up this weekend and uh, I think, quote, chris said well, that's going to be a gong show, was before we started recording and and I asked him about his.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: He had a story.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: I said we're going to, I'm going to ask you about it again, so tell me about your crazy member member story.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: That might relate to some of the moms or dads listening who are golf fans.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: So I go back to 2012 national country club.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: I was a member there for a number of years, lived in Southern New Hampshire, and my buddy, rob Zimmer, and I were partners and we've been partners for a couple of years Didn't really place in the top three.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: And the Wednesday before the event they had a stag night and they had a scotch night and you know I'm a fan.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: I kind of drink tequila in the summer, bourbon in the winter and vodka any time of season, and soda.
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: You know I just try to.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: You know that's usually the drink of choice, but they did a scotch.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: I never had scotch before, so I had scotch one, two, three and four, thinking I'd be fine.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: I was not fine, so I had to get a ride home, a ride back to the course the next day and on a major hangover, I made bogey on one.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: I chipped in for birdie on two from a very bad position.
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: I hit the ball too, and my partner's like Chris, you got to focus and lock it in.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: And, casey, I don't remember another shot, true story, I don't remember the swing for the next 16 holes.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: And I walked off the green and he said Chris, you know you just shot.
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: I'm like no, he goes.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: You just shot 66.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: Now I'm a four handicap, so my average score is like 77, 78.
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: So I mean I can play golf, but I'd only had one round in my entire life under 70 before that and it was 69.
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: So to shoot 66 was incredible in a member, but I don't remember it and you know there's something to golf about the mentality of golf of just kind of letting it go.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: And so if you go into your member, it's.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: You know, you just got to let it go.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: You can't overthink it, because the more we think in golf, the worse it gets usually.
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: So I guess that's the advice there.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: But we ended up winning the event and our names on the wall and it was.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: It was just a really fun weekend, obviously, and it was fun to play, great, and uh, I think I backed it up with like a 73 to 77 after that.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: But those are, those are the best times.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: I mean, my buddy Rob and I now still play in New Hampshire amateur events together, team events together, like that's something you bond over, you know, forever the rest of your life.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: So good.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: I uh, so the.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: I guess the moral of the story is drink scotch before I tee off in and block out.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: It does work, you know, it does work.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love it.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: Well, my quick uh story that kind of relates to that.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: I, my buddy Kelly Hanson, shout out to him he um, his 40th birthday, birthday party.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: This is obviously eight years ago, nine years ago.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: And, uh, my wife's like, hey, and I had I was gonna play in the first club championship the next day.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: And she's like you can play in it, but I don't want you, you know, going to.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Barely I'll meet out fun.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: I'm like I'm gonna have fun.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: I'm with because don't be like, you're the, the crudgy old, I need to get my sleep for the member, for the championship, whatever.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: So we got after it really, really good, and I went to bed like at two, 30 and which is way past my bedtime for I was 39 at the time and I wake up so hungover and I'm teeing off at like at eight, 30.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: I'm literally about to yak on the first tee Like, and I somehow hit the club face.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: It's like'm seeing.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: It's just I'm in bad shape.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: I shoot for me a good round.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: Back then I shot 77 in a club championship.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Now I'm three off the lead at the end of the day.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: I'm like whoa, that just happened next day.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: Now I'm sober, but now I'm feeling the nerves.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I get to the course and they're like hey case before you.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: But just before you know your name's in the back of the cart you're three off off the lead.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: Just expect, probably after a few holds there's probably going to be people start following the group.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: It says members are going to want to see who wins this thing and I'm just like wait what?
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, now I mean I played football in college, uncle Rico, martha.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: I've been in pressure environments.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: I've been in pressure business environments For whatever Golf's different.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: Golf's different.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: And all of a sudden I'm like, okay, shoot.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling a lot of nerves on the first tee box.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: I mean we go off 10 for the reason that day, and so there's a pond in front on 10.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: It's like a 100-yard carry.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: Why, freaking top a three-wood into the water?
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: Oh God, top, and I've taken six, 11,.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: There's another pond, I top it.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: I go six, eight, double, oh no, so 13,.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: The guy goes hey, um, the good news, you're not having anybody following you.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: You're probably safe for the rest of the day.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: I call the pro shop and her name was Chris at the time.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: I say Chris, it's Casey, I'm on 13.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: She's like what's going on, mr Jaycox?
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Everything Okay.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: I'm like oh, things are great, uh, except my golf game.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: I need six beers.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: As quickly as you can bring a stat.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: And she brought him out and I ended up shooting 91.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, but isn't it?
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, is it?
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: Ben hogan said there's two types of golf.
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: There's like tournament golf and beer golf or something like it's tournament golf's different, it is different you know, oh, 100.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: So anyway, everybody, we digress, but we giggled.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: Hope you guys appreciate those two stories.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Um, okay, I'm going to go back in time and time.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: I just quoted.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: Share right there.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: Um, tell me about what was life like growing up for you and talk about the impact that your dad and your parents had on you now that you're a dad.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I said a little bit earlier I was very, very lucky.
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: Casey, my, my, um, my dad was in the air force and met my mother in Kansas City, kansas, and so you know, when they met, my mother decided to move back to Boston with my dad and they got married within like three months of meeting each other.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: So it was a love story from the beginning and they moved into a town called Malden, Massachusetts, just north of the city of Boston, and my dad grew up in kind of East Boston, everett, somerville people that might know the area, kind of the inner city part of Boston.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: You know, my dad unfortunately didn't have the same experience I did.
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: His father left when he was six years old and so my dad kind of grew up as a latchkey kid with his mom in Boston.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: She worked full time and she was a great person.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: I knew her very well, had a great relationship with her and uh.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: But you know, so my dad didn't have really the great role model and went to a boarding school but went to the Air Force and you know the Air Force helped him build structure in his life and discipline and the things we all need, and so he met my mom came home and they had me pretty soon thereafter he was in car sales and sold cars.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: He ran cardio ships when we grew up and made a good living.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: And you know, as I said earlier, then he started coaching my teams at the age of 10.
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: And he was my best friend and still is my best friend to this day.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: You know he, we spent a lot of time together.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: I respect him immensely.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: And my mother I can't be more grateful for what she's done for me.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: You know she gave birth to me.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: You know, as she tells the story, she, she almost died, she lost a lot of blood and back in 1970, you know, medicine isn't what it is today but she lived.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: But she was told you you can't have any other children, and so I was an only child and my mother stayed home full time.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: She doted over me, drove me to every game, every, everything I needed to go, to every activity.
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: My mother was there.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: And so I think what I had was a perfect set of parents where my mother was that supportive, um, empathetic mother that would support me if I had an injury or was crying or sad, and my dad would always push me and drive me to be better and always challenge me in a really healthy way.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: And so you know I always laugh when people are like, oh, I have an only child, and you know they get worried about that.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: It's a bad thing.
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: I'm like, hey, I turned out just fine.
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: I think it's amazing being an only child, um, because you get all the attention from your parents and then the only thing about an only child you learn is when you go away to college.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: You don't.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: You learn you're not special, like I thought I was special for 18 years and then I had a college roommate and baseball, you know teammates.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: Tell me, chris, you're not special, you're just like normal, like the.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: But yeah, so very lucky to have parents that supported my hopes and dreams, and I had opportunities to play in a couple of private schools, like Phillips Academy in Andover and things.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: But I want to see all my friends in Tewksbury.
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: I just I look back on that.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: I might have had more opportunities maybe if I went to that private school, but I wanted to be with my friends and so I had a great time in Tewksbury High School.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: We made it to the state semifinals senior year and had a good run there.
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: But no, my parents were, and still are, very formative people in my life and I'm very, very grateful for everything they've done for me.
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: It's just, it's humbling actually.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's so cool.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: And how old are mom and dad now?
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: So dad is 79 next week and mom is 76.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: And you know, for their age, casey, my dad's doing well.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: My mom's been sick.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: She was sick in December, went to the hospital sick and furry went to the hospital and had emphysema and you know she smoked her whole life, unfortunately.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: And but she's she's, she's fighting through it and thankfully her, her mind is still sharp as a tax.
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: I call her every day and thankfully her mind is still sharp as a tax.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: I call her every day and when I don't call I get a text the next day reminding me to call.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: So it's pretty rare for me not to call.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: I think I told you.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: You know, we just did, you know, because I'm getting married now and in June.
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: We did a little kind of a combo bachelor bachelorette party to Vegas last weekend and we brought some friends with us and I told my mom like, hey, mom, I'm going to be in Vegas.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: You know no promises, but of course I called her on Friday.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: I called her on Saturday.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: You know she she wanted the updates cause she loves casinos and slot machines.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: That was her thing that you know, the nickel slots and all that back in the day but yeah so very, very grateful that they're.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: You know my dad's doing well, my mom's hanging in there and I still talk to him all the time and see him.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: That's awesome, my uh.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: So we have something else in common, man.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: So my dad lost his dad when he was six years old.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: Okay, um, what happened there?
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Um, they don't really know.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: It's kind of like this uh, they maybe had kidneys.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: We were told, Okay, Um it's sad.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't quite know the full story story about that one Um which is kind of odd in one thing.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: But yeah, no, it's sad, it's not, it's not.
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm sure your dad's yeah, I'm sure he's talked to you about as much as he can.
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: And, um, you know, my dad is just, you know, like you said, I think I think his perspective was he wanted to make sure he was a really good father, you know, because he didn't have one after the age of six.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: So yeah, my dad had three brothers.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: My dad, um, it's hard to believe when you know season five, season three he passed away during season three on December 29th 2021.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: So we dedicated every episode to him after that, which was um, uh, but yeah, it's uh, I think, not knowing your, your grandparent, grand pa, which was kind of a you know um, but yeah, I think I think there's so much.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: You see, like my dad was obviously my dad was in sales forever, but my mom was super outgoing and life, the party which I might've got that from her and, um, as you think back to like the values though, that your, your parents, taught you, that were like these are, these are the, this is what, how the mater house rolls, these are super important.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: That like that that you remember.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: Tell me what comes to mind.
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: First thing is my mother, how you treat people.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: You know guests in our home, people you meet.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: Your initial interaction with somebody you know, I don't care what they do, where they're from, just how you treat people with respect.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: Look them in the eye.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: My father, I remember, taught me how to shake somebody's hand.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: God, I was eight, I think I was like eight or nine.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: I was young and I think I met somebody and I shook their hand.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: And he's like Chris, let me see, and he showed me.
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: You look them straight in the eye, you shake their hand firmly, you know things like that.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: So I've always had that.
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: I think my you know, my mother, being Kansas city, the Midwest values is just, you know, work, work, ethic, how you treat people, be humble, all those things.
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: Now it's interesting because my dad grew up kind of a city kid in Boston and he taught me a little bit more about mental toughness and, um, you know, taking a blow and getting back up and not quitting.
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: I remember, you know one year in that you know youth sports, when you're like I'm going to quit halfway through the year, he's like you are not going to quit it, you want to quit at the end of the year, that's fine, but not halfway through the year, and so just things like that, you know, the tough love for my dad and kind of the empathetic love for my mother, are things that I've always remembered and I think are always pieces of me now today as well.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's awesome.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Once you and your first wife got married, when you guys were raising the kids, what were?
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: Did the values change at all?
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: Were there any other values that were really, really important in how you shaped kind of all three kids?
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: That's a good question.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: You know my ex-wife I will say.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: You know she was very sweet, supportive, you know a little introverted, quiet, but you know, great mother.
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: You know we talked more about the balance, I think you know in that time it was 1999, our first son was born.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: I remember talking to my ex-wife about this, like you know, and Casey, we worked with a lot of women in the workplace and some women choose to stay home, some women choose to work, and I remember having this conversation with my ex-wife now and saying whatever's going to make you happy, we'll make you a better mother.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: So if you want to stay home, stay home.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: And if you want to work, work is whichever one is going to make you happier is what I want.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: So I remember that as being like a core tenant of like.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: I want to be happy when I'm doing, I want you to be happy, and I want to be happy when I'm doing, I want you to be happy and I think if we're both happy, we'll, as a result of that, just be better parents, which we, you know we were, we were aligned on all that kids growing up, et cetera.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, I don't know if anything changed per se, because my, my ex father-in-law and ex mother-in-law are great people.
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: We get along great, still talk.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: And he was ex army, she was a controller and CFO in a company and very smart.
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: So I mean just, you know we always had a happy, stable home.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: You know it was consistent.
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: I was thankfully very gainfully employed, making enough money to put food on the table and have everything we needed and really to make sure we had everything the kids needed.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: You know it's funny.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: As an only child I'll say this one thing, casey in hindsight, you know I felt like I got everything as a child and I wanted my kids to have the same experience.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: The only issue with that is I had to do it times three.
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: So you know it just got a little more expensive, but I don't regret any of that.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: You can't regret anything when you're spending time with your children, making sure that you're setting them up as best you can for their future life, you know.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: So treating people the way you want to be treated, shaking a good hand, being respectful Is there a?
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: Is there a story or two that might come to mind when you're raising your kids that stands out of of how you had to like follow through on those lessons or follow through on those teachings?
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: Well, again, the kids are.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: The sports is the first one.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: So my son, kyle, wanted to quit Little League at age 12.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: My daughter, kate, wanted to quit hockey at age 14.
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: You know Brooke got injured in soccer one year and wanted to quit.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: So all three of the kids I had that same story of just about.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: You know you're not going to give up on your teammates.
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: You know I don't care if you're hurt.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: You can still contribute, you can still go to the game, you can still go to the practice, you can still be supportive.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: There's something you can do even though you're injured.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: You know kids quitting halfway through the season.
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: I remember talking to Kyle and Kate about this.
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: I'm like there's only 12 players on the team, kyle, and there's nine on the field and baseball, if you're not here, that's going to have an impact on the team and, by the way, you're a good player Like that's going to have an impact on the outcomes of these games.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: So you know, if it's something you don't want to do long-term, that's okay, but we're not going to bigger than you and take.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: You know, not being as selfish and thinking about the greater good and what's right for your teammates is a universal lesson in sports that obviously can be carried through in business and life.
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: So I remember that vividly, having those conversations with my kids, you know, a few times yeah.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Hi, this is Kathy Orton.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: I'm the Director of Talent Management at CoWorks Staffing Services.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: Coworks is one of the largest staffing firms in the United States, with operations in all 50 states, over 60,000 temporary field talent.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: We are devoted to the success and growth of our employees and our clients.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: We are celebrating our 50th anniversary this year and are proud to have a legacy of treating people the right way, doing the right thing, supporting our communities and putting field talent first.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: Our team places candidates in administrative light, industrial, call center, distribution, third-party logistic positions with additional opportunities through our executive search, creative staffing and luxury, beauty and fragrance divisions.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: Executive search, creative staffing and luxury, beauty and fragrance divisions.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: We had the pleasure of having Casey Jaycox deliver a keynote presentation and training workshop to our sales team this year and I have to tell you it was exceptional.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: Casey is funny, he is engaging and he is approachable.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: What sets Casey apart is that he really walks the walk.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: He lives what he teaches.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: He spent time with us outside of the workshop, really taking the time to get to know our people.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: He shared information about his personal life, about his family, creating the foundation for authentic relationships, one of the core elements of the strategy he teaches.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: Casey left our teams feeling motivated, energized and armed with the actionable tools to transform their sales performance.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: I cannot recommend Casey enough to any or any organization looking to grow and unlock their full potential.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: If you want to learn more about Cowork Staffing, please visit our website at CoworkStaffingcom.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Now let's get back to the podcast.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, some of the stuff, it's like you know, a lot of the episodes I find when I talk to people it just slows.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: I get, hey, I get free therapy everybody at home, and I hope you guys do too but it just like slowing down to be present and slowing down to like really think through, like what's most important.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: And I was actually talking to my, my former boss yesterday, who's now shout out to Kai Mitchell she's, she's taken over for um, she's taken on an executive role at experience, oh good, that's great.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: And she was just we're just talking about.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: She was like I was asking about her, she was asking about me and we're talking about you know, stages of life and where I'm at, and and I said, you know, if there's such thing.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you feel the same way, chris, but like the work I'm doing, it's definitely a calling, but I'm not, I'm I'm working my ass off.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: I'm, but I'm not grinding.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: Like I work my ass off at K force, yeah, meaning that, um, I worked so hard from like 24 to 44.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: Right, um, and not that I'm not working now, but like to me, it's just my, my priorities have changed.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: Like to me, I'm not, I'm purposely not traveling as much so I can be present with not missing graduation, not missing things, and I just want to like be as cause I got a couple of years left and then they're gone, and to me it's like, once they're gone then I maybe get back in that crazy travel mode, but like right now.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: So yeah, for you as a, a dad that's, you know you guys have raised kid together.
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: They're ones almost done with high school, like mine, and you get one one out.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: You got one in college.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: What?
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: What were some of the?
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: The, maybe the lessons you learned along the way, or the or the, the tough decisions you had to like, maybe sacrifice, either for the family or for your career, that you can reflect back.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: That might speak to people at home.
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a great question and it goes back to that conversation with, you know, my ex -wife, that we we, we raised our children together.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: It starts with being aligned, and so Kristen was going to be home and I was going to work, and so I had to sacrifice a little bit of time.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: To your point I was grinding, you know, from the age of 29 through 45, like you, and I had to travel a lot, and so I did work really hard to try to get home that extra night you know, not stay an extra night over over in a city If I could get home that night, even if it was late, so I can be up in the morning with the kids, you know.
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: So I think it was about having that alignment of what we want and, um, understanding our roles right.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: So I was the income earner and she was going to be home and support the children, but I was still very involved.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: And one thing I'll say about my ex-wife and I'm very proud of, but we won in the town of Pelham, New Hampshire, we won the.
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: The fire department just decided one year at their fireman's ball to have like this new award called citizens of the year, and Kristen and I won it the first year.
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: They had the award and we were very involved in the PTA, the school system.
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: I was president of little league.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: I actually was building an outdoor rink.
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: So you talk about the outdoor rink.
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: I'll tell you a funny story about this.
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: So people found out I was building a rink in my yard.
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: So somebody said, Chris, well, can you build a rink in the town center?
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: I'm like, well, yeah, if we have the money.
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: We can figure it out.
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: So my wife, my ex-wife and I raised the money, built a 100 by 60 outdoor rink in the town of Pelham for about eight, nine years with volunteers, all volunteers got eight, nine years with volunteers, all volunteers, all donated money.
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: And so I remember, casey, one night we built the rink the first year.
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: This is the coolest story about the rink.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: We had an outdoor pawn hockey league with.
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: It was so much fun.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: But the coolest story I have about it was one night I went down to the rink to Zamboni it and kind of shave the ice and stuff and I just finished it.
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: I just put all the stuff away.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: The lights were on, it was night, it was perfect.
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: I was walking away and these two 16-year-old teenagers came up and they had two boxes of ice skates and I could tell they just bought skates and I'm like, oh hey, kids, you know, I'm glad you guys are here to skate.
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: And this kid goes yeah, this is my first date it's.
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: And I was like, guys, this is the perfect time to have a first date.
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: You guys have a great time tonight.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: The ice is perfect.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: Like you know, the ice was glass.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: It was a perfect night and I had the chills thinking about I'm like, you know you volunteer and do these things, and that's a moment that those kids will never forget.
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: I haven't forgotten it and you just wish like wow, like you hope 10 years from now, 20, somebody else is doing that for somebody else.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: Or you talk about passing things along and you just kind of pay it forward and you know you do.
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: You just do nice things because it's the right thing to do and you don't.
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: You don't ask for anything in return.
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: Um, but that was kind of something that I got in return.
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: It's like wow, like that was a special moment when that happened.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Did your.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: And you how?
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: How much, now that your kids are older, know that you and mom were doing those types of things?
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: At the time they really didn't fully, I think, appreciate it and now they do, especially my youngest daughter, kate, who took to hockey you know she's like Dad.
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: I can't believe you're building and maintaining two rinks outside from December 26 through St Patrick's Day.
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: And I remember, casey, I was in Texas one time and the town of Pelham called, called and they had all these issues Like, chris, when are you going to be home?
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: You need to get home to fix the alley.
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: So I'm like guys, I'm in Texas right now.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: I don't know what to tell you.
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: I'll get back tomorrow and try to fix it, you know.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: What when you think about like the journey as a dad like well, tell me the hardest part about raising kids that you look back and like man, how do we get through that?
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: I 100% answer those questions that are all different.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: Having three children in the same house, with the same parents, with the same circumstances, with the same everything.
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: Kyle's needs were vastly different than Brooke's and different than Cates.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: And so.
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: I think you know, just like you know you're a coach and I'm a coach now too.
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: Casey, you have to.
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: Obviously we know this.
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: Every person is different.
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: You have to adjust your language, your verbal communication, everything for the recipient right.
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: What's the love languages book?
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: You don't speak in your love language, speak in their love language.
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: So I think that was the lesson.
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: It took me a while to learn it to Casey.
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: You know, my son, kyle, and I had a great relationship till he was 12 and that got fractured for a few years and I was having a hard time adjusting, parenting him, because everything I'd done up to 12 seemed fine.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: My daughter's, brooke and Kate, seemed fine, you know.
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: So you're trying to figure like, what am I?
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: Is it me, is it him, is it?
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: You know it's a combination thereof.
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: And and then you talk about mental health.
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: In this country we didn't realize at the time, at 13, he was diagnosed Asperger's, so that was part of the issue, that we didn't know at the time how to communicate with him, et cetera.
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I think the toughest part for me, and it's still probably the toughest part to this day, is just, you know, every child is different and they have different needs and wants.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if you feel comfortable.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: I'm curious what looking, looking back and seeing Kyle go through some of those challenges what were some of the warning signs that maybe a parents at home might be listening to, like well shit, I'm struggling, my kid and I do, they have Asperger's Like.
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: What were some of the signs that stood out that finally made you guys take him in to get tested?
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: He started to become more withdrawn.
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: He started to not want to go to group activities, whether it was sports or social groups at school, things like that.
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: He became fixated on things.
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: So if he got interested in Legos, it was all Legos all the time, nothing else.
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: And then as soon as that was over, it might be a video game and it was fixation on the video game.
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: It was that all the time.
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: So those are some of the things that we started to see that I was like all right, this is like you know what is happening.
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: Like we couldn't really figure it out until we went to a mental health professional and they tested him and things like that.
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: The other one was they called it processing skills.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: He didn't understand sarcasm.
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: So you know, my dad being from Boston, you know I have my mother's very sweet Midwestern values, but I also have my dad's kind of sharp tongue and sarcasm when needed.
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: And if I, if I use sarcasm with Kyle, he did not take well to that at all and I thought he was just being overly sensitive.
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: I'm like Kyle, like what's the problem?
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: I'm just joking around, and so you know, in hindsight it's like those are some of the things that came to bear that that kind of led to, um, um you know, us trying to understand better how to, um you know, parent him and and just be a good, be a good parent mentor for him.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: What, um, when you learn to change and like, like not be a sarcastic, like, I think that's a really, really powerful story you just told, because I think it shows you had your ego aside.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: It showed your willingness to learn.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: Um, you showed your kids to be you're willing to be curious to, to learn more about, which I think are superpowers that we can teach our kids, those skills in any line of work they do.
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: Have you ever slowed down to think about that, the skills you taught your kids for that moment?
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: So it's funny you say that now because I have.
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: I mean you talk about being curious.
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: You use the word curious.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: I love lifelong learner.
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: I'm not above learning.
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: I don't care what age I've been, I've never been above.
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: I love lifelong learner.
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: I'm not above learning.
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: I don't care what age I've been, I've never been above.
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: I love learning new things and I am very curious to explore anything new.
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: And so I try not to assume anything, and even though we all, we all come from a place of we know what we know, there's a lot of things we don't know, and so I think I've done a better job, as I become an adult and every day thereafter, to be open to learning and adjusting, and you know, we'll get to this at some point.
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: But even so, my business is called MTA Consultancy.
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: It's in the taglines make the adjustment.
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: Make the adjustment comes from my college baseball coach, boyd Coffey, and I'll tell you more about that in a minute but I would teach my kids that growing up.
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: So you talk about lessons I taught my kids I'm like you're the one that has to make the adjustment right.
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: So, Kyle, you have to make these adjustments, I have to make these adjustments.
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: You know I can't control you.
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: You can control me.
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: I can only adjust what I say or do and you can control what you say or do, and so that was a lesson that my college coach taught me, that I tried to teach my kids, and I know that it's meaningful for them to this day.
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: But it's something that I espouse in my in my business, because everything in life about continuous improvement is constantly making adjustments.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I love that.
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: It's funny.
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: You feel.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: Feel free to steal this, but I found an image of a guy that did some sculpture work, a painter.
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: He was pretty successful in his time.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: Got him Michelangelo.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we've heard of him.
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, of course.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: Might have done some good work around there.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: Heavy sarcasm.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: At 87 years old, he said, he's still learning and that's what fires him up 100%, 100%.
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: It's funny in the coaching business and for those listening I don't care if you're a CEO running a $2 billion company, I don't care if you're a startup, I don't care, I don't care what role you're in, everybody can get better.
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: Nobody knows everything and you and I have both been on good teams.
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: Casey, I'm sure you've played for bad teams in the past, and when the teams are playing bad, a lot of times it's because the players or the coaches are fixated on.
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: This is what we're doing and we're not changing.
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: And another colleague of mine at Ronson a long time ago, terry O'Leary, once said you know the people that use the words can't, don't, won't are not going to go very far in life.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: You know that won't work.
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: Don't do that, things like that.
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: So people who are curious, open-minded, you know lifelong learners that have a growth mindset, I believe are the most successful people and coaching CEOs.
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: I have one CEO I work with today who is very successful.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: He had a 360 review and it was tough and it kind of hit his ego a little bit, but I pumped him back up.
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: I'm like, hey, let's remember, 98% of this stuff is good and the 2% that's bad we can get better at.
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: And you're a very you know.
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: This is about making you a very successful person even more successful right.
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: It's not like you're not successful and so you have to remind people of that and the growth mindset, because then the other side of that is clients I work with that aren't open to the feedback at all, aren't open to change and they're not going to grow.
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: They're going to remain the same or potentially get worse.
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: And those same people that do that negatively impact their cultures of the organization by having no ego, by having ego in the way which creates complacency, which creates fear.
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: These same things apply to fatherhood when we don't show our kids that we're willing to make mistakes and learn and grow.
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: And even when I struggle, I have, like you know, I remember, like when my very first years doing this, like I thought I'd be a do a Ted talk, well, I wasn't ready to do it, I applied, didn't get accepted.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: Now, like a lot of it could be right, wrong guy, right time, wrong type of um, uh, um, and I I kind of winged it.
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: But when they said, hey, you know great, da, da, da, but it's not the right time, the first people I thought of was like I can't wait to tell my kids, can't wait to tell my kids, I didn't get it, because sometimes I think they see mom and dad like, oh, life must be great.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: Well, failure is the great.
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: Tony Bennett at Virginia Coke basketball coach says adversity is life's golden ticket.
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: A hundred percent.
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: And when we and I think sometimes, whether it's leaders or dads or friends and we can talk about, don't be afraid to say what you sucked at, because we all suck yeah, every one of us.
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: It's funny, you say that too, but you talk about humility.
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: So one thing my kids have seen the last three years, casey is, you know, since the so I I basically had two jobs from 1996 till 2021, 22.
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: So they always saw me as like steady income, made good money, everything's taken care of, right.
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: Well, after the divorce, I chose to leave the job.
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: I was in um at Medicus Healthcare Solutions at time doing local maintenance staff, and I went to a small um engineering IT staffing firm and I was only there six months with an old friend and it's just.
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: I got a phone call from an executive recruiter to be the chief revenue officer at a healthcare IT company and it was a job I couldn't refuse.
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: Great money, great everything.
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: I'm like.
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: I got to take this job.
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: So about a year ago a year and a month ago, you know the healthcare IT market took a hit and the founder of the company called me and said Chris, it's going to be a bad day.
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: Unfortunately, we have to let you go.
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: You did nothing wrong.
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: You did everything we asked you to do, but I've been around this company for 10 years.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: We got to cut like 4 million in payroll.
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: It's not your fault there.
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: I was unemployed.
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: 27 years of gainful employment, always making good money.
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: Everybody has been divorced.
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: I'm a responsible father.
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to miss a child support payment or an online payment.
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: And so I'm unemployed, and so my children, you know, had to see dad take a hit, and I've always been this.
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: You know, when you play professional baseball, minor league baseball and you played football, Casey, like you have to be confident and borderline, even occasionally a little cocky, right To carry yourself in a position to be successful and losing you know the divorce was humbling, um, but losing my job as a provider to my children and my family was incredibly humbling and I had a choice to make Do I, do I stay in the corporate world or do I do my own thing?
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: And that was a big inflection point for me because I said I am no longer going to allow somebody else to dictate my outcome and I'm going to start my own thing.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: And.
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: I think I met you shortly thereafter and I've made this joke that hope is not a strategy, and I think even John Gordon once said well, sometimes hope is a strategy.
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: And so my children have had to see me go through all of this and I take a lot of pride in the fact that I kept my head up, I kept my chin up.
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: I didn't get negative, as a matter of fact, I actually got more positive.
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: I probably became obscenely optimistic around the prospects about my future and, again, always supported them, will always support them, never missed any, any financial payment for their college or whatever it took, you know.
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: So you know, it's something I'm very, very proud of and, again, it was incredibly humbling and I think it's hopefully I don't know if they realize it now, but I hope in the future that they they realize what dad went through and that if they ever face adversity in the future, that they'll they will be able to get through it as well.
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: Real quick.
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: How did you stay positive for the dad?
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's easy to stay positive, but like if you, if you just like really slow down and think back, like tell me, tell me what you did to stay positive.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: So somebody.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: So this is what I did I the weekend after that event happened, on the Friday.
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: I'm like I'm just going to take the weekend off and relax.
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: That Monday I got very active, talking to people I trusted and I said I'm going to crossroads, Do I stay in corporate world or do I do this coaching thing?
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: Everybody said, Chris, you're an amazing coach, You're an amazing leader, Like everything you've learned in business, like you should be a coach, Like you have to.
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: So number one that gave me the confidence that this is what I'm the best at.
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: And you know, Casey, in sales, right, you want to be able to tell somebody what you're the best at, what you're doing, right?
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: So I'm like I'm the best at leadership coaching, I'm the best at sales coaching, I'm the best at getting to know these people and, quite frankly, I've also learned I'm the best at turning lemons into lemonade and having a level of optimism.
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: And so the advice for me was more what are you passionate about and what are you the best at and can you monetize it?
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: And if those three things can fall into place, you have to shove your chips in.
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: And there's two books that I read at the time.
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: One was called the Company of One, and I think I told you about that, Casey, recently.
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: Company of One is just a book about.
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: It's okay to be a company of one and not have to scale right.
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: I enjoy the flexibility of being a company of one.
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: The other book, though, is called Burn the Boats, and Burn the Boats was a concept around the Spanish Armada when they crashed the shores, losing the war.
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: And the general said burn the boats.
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: And they're like why would we burn the boats?
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: He goes well, if we burn the boats, there's no plan B.
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: We have to fight.
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: And so, for me, I burned the boats on the corporate world and I said you know, I'm going to fight for this and I'm going to believe in this.
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: And then, as you start to study people who are great at what they do Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, like all Tom Brady they burned the boats.
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: They said this is what I'm going to do, I'm going to commit to this.
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: So I think the lesson there is you have to fully commit and believe in yourself, and I did, and a year later, I'm extremely grateful that things so far have worked out so good, and I love that you use one of my favorite words, believe which is people can't see at home, but it's behind me and it reminds me that every day I believe what I do matters.
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: It's a question that I think I want to instill in my kids and make them always believe in yourself and always bet on yourself yeah, because sometimes no one else is.
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: Well, that's, that's the thing it's.
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: It's, it's sometimes no one else is, and it's also.
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: You know, if you don't believe in yourself, then how can somebody else believe in you?
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: So I just said, you know this is the time to to chase your, your dream goal of being a coach.
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: And again I go back to my college coach, boyd Coffey.
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: If you asked me at the age of 30, casey, when I was in the staffing industry, like Chris, what's your dream goal, I would have said I want to be a college baseball coach, like Boyd.
• 49:26
  Speaker 3: And so coaching is something I've always been passionate about, and you know, coaching my kids loved it.
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: You know there's nothing I love more than coaching my kids and even coaching the other kids.
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: I just love coaching and helping everyone, you know.
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but to know that executive coaching, sales coaching is a career you can chase and you and I both know it's very much needed in this world.
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: You know the people that we help need our services for sure, but no, it's something I'm deeply passionate about.
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: I'm glad that I turned it into a career that I could, you know, monetize to the degree and still pay the bills.
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: Well, I think one of the things that attracted me when I first met you, not like physically because I like girls, but as do I, you know I I like helping people who need to help the world and I think you know I think that the one negative side of coaching I don't like is there's people who are got into coaching too soon and don't should not be coaching people.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: It's kind of like the sarcastic, the 26 year old life coach.
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: I think that makes no sense to me, like I hate the word life coach.
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: No offense to everybody I, just to me it's like I don't know life yet I'm 48.
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: I got a lot.
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: If I'm 96, then I can be a life coach Cause I've lived almost a hundred years.
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: Um, but what I know work, cause I can back up what I teach.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: You can back up what you teach and I don't, and I'm sure you do the same way.
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: We don't do it to be the smartest in the room.
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: You ask great questions and people will coach themselves through things, but that's what I think I loved is like the world needs more.
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: The Chris Mader is the world because one.
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: You're not going to do it all by yourself.
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to do it all by myself.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: There's talented sales coaches out there helping companies and, to your point, they do need help.
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: That's probably one of the biggest things I learned.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: I didn't realize I didn't realize how much I know when I left.
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: I just thought everybody did these things and then I was like whoa, people need some help.
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: Maybe I have some job security here.
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: You teased a second ago about professional baseball player.
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: I'd love to maybe talk about your life as a then Cleveland Indian, now Cleveland Guardian.
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: Talk about your journey in a few minutes or so, just like playing pro baseball, getting to the highest level you got and what were some of the lessons you learned that you maybe applied to fatherhood.
• 51:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so drafted 49th round by the Chicago White Sox in 1992 out of 50 rounds, so second to last pick.
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: I had a really tough first year in 92.
• 51:43
  Speaker 3: Didn't do well.
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: I played for Terry Francona in South Bend 1993, got assigned to Hickory Crawdad single A baseball and they moved me from catcher to third base.
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: I never really played a lot of third base and Buddy Bell, ex-indian, taught me how to play third base.
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: He was with the White Sox at the time.
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: So I was terrible.
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: For the first month.
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: I made like 15 errors in 30 games.
• 52:03
  Speaker 3: I was awful.
• 52:03
  Speaker 3: And you talk about sarcasm and jokes.
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: My teammates removed all of the gloves out of my locker one day before I came into the field and replaced them with frying pans and you talk about like humility.
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: But you know what it was, what I needed.
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: My team was like Chris, you're a great player, just relax, man, you're trying too hard.
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: And from that point forward I think I made seven errors through 120 games.
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: I played great and I made an all-star team and I got to rub elbows with Derek Jeter at shortstop.
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: So there I am at third base and there's Jeter at shortstop and getting to know him a little bit, which was cool.
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: And then 94, I got hurt, I sprained my ankle and I ended up getting released because in the White Sox organization they had like um God they had Chris Snowpeck Um they had.
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: Almedo signs, robin Ventura, pete Rose Jr, greg Norton all these guys made the big leagues and I just wasn't going to be that guy.
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: So I got released, got bounced around to the Mets, the uh, the Mets, the Tigers, and then the Indians in 1995.
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: So I played with, like Richie Sachs, aynar Diaz, bartolo Colon, danny Graves, a bunch of future guys that were all in the big leagues and we won the Carolina League.
• 53:09
  Speaker 3: And so I remember John Hart, the general manager of the Indians, called me and said you know, chris, we want to call you up because we think you're a great player and you might be a great coach someday.
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: If you're not a player, why don't you come up and throw some bullpens with us and catch some bullpens and throw some batting practice.
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: And up and throw some bullpens with us and catch some, catch some bullpens and throw some batting practice.
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: And so I get called up in 95 when they were winning the American League Central.
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: So there I am as a non-roster player with the Cleveland Indians in 95 and you know I'm rubbing shoulders with Jim Tomey and just the who's who of that roster and it was just a really cool experience and of all things, I was at the Jake Jacobs Field for a few days, and then we went to Chicago, to New Comiskey, which I had been there before and I knew some of those guys, so it was kind of cool to see how that worked out, and I flew home, but I ultimately decided to retire from baseball because I was making a thousand dollars a month gross.
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: They were going to hire me as a hitting coach and they offered me, like, I think, 22,000 for the year, and they tried to, and they tried to give me the value Like, well, Chris, you Um, and they tried to, and they tried to give me the value Like, well, chris, you only have to work eight months, you have four months off.
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, 22,000 years, not going to cut it for me, and you know the college degree and what have you, so, um, but no, I just had a lot of great memories.
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: I even mentioned the spring training with Michael Jordan.
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: I was there for Michael Jordan spring.
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: Well, so, um, you know, I think the lessons, though, for me were everybody puts their pants on the same way, you know, when you, when you hang out with Michael Jordan and Derek Jeter and Bo Jackson, I mean, they're just guys, you know, they're just people and they want to be just like one of the guys when they're in those moments too.
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: So, um, you know.
• 54:40
  Speaker 3: So when I got into my sales career, I think when I was interviewed, somebody said Chris, you know, will you get intimidated by talking to the CEO?
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: I'm like I've seen Michael Jordan naked.
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: So no, I won't, actually I won't be intimidated by the CEO.
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: I almost spit out water.
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: Everybody right there.
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: So yeah.
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: That was a great visual Michael Jordan in the shower, everybody and in the shower, everybody.
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, so let's, before we pivot and talk about your book and how people can connect with you, if you were to summarize kind of everything we've talked about and getting to know you and everything that people can dads, or whoever's listening specifically dads, that's who the audience is for that they can take from our conversation to say, man, I learned a couple of good, actionable takeaways that I can apply to my life right now and be a better father, better leader of my home.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: Chris, tell me what comes to mind.
• 55:31
  Speaker 3: So the first thing is around this concept of we haven't used the phrase yet locus of control the good things that happen because of what you do and don't do, and the bad things that happen because what you do or don't do.
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: And the beauty is you can start changing that immediately.
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: I think about my life a year ago Casey, unemployed on the ground, on the mat and I decided to not let life beat me up that way, and I made a conscious decision to be very disciplined about what I was going to do and shoved all the chips in and just got really committed to it.
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: And so I think the beauty of life is we all decide every day what that day is going to be like, and one of the greatest things I purchased was like $30.
• 56:13
  Speaker 3: There's a calendar called my Life in Weeks.
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: I don't know if you've ever seen this.
• 56:16
  Speaker 3: It's a calendar where you basically order it online and you say, okay, I anticipate I'm going to live 88 years and they pre-filled out my first 50 years.
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: I bought it when I was 50 years old, and so it's a calendar of 52 blocks per year across and 88 down, and it was pre-filled 50 years and I have it on my wall at work.
• 56:37
  Speaker 3: Every Friday I fill out a dot at the end of the week and the purpose of the calendar for me is to not live my life with regret.
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: And you know, after my divorce and everything and the sadness there, I'm like, you know, I'm not going to have any regrets, I'm going to, I'm going to, you know, take this decision, I'm going to move forward and not have any regrets, and Casey it, and not have any regrets.
• 56:55
  Speaker 3: And Casey, it's been three years and I'm telling you I've had setbacks, I've had bad things happen, but I have zero regrets.
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: And so I think for you know, any dad out there that's struggling, you know you can decide your fate and your destiny and manifest it, but you have to be willing to put in the work and have the discipline.
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: And obviously it's amazing when you have the support, and I've had the support from my parents and I've had the support from now, my fiance about to be future wife, um, and my children.
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: Love that man.
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: I, uh, I can back up what he's saying.
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: Everybody, when you manifest something and that's I mean the other word is like visualize and write things down and put some belief in by, I mean, anybody can do it, why not you?
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: I tell it to my kids all the time Someone's going to.
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: I told my daughter one time.
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: I said why don't you go be the president of the United States?
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: Someone's going to do it, someone's going to be the first female.
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: Now do I want you to be the president of the United States?
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: No, cause it'd be really tough and drama and all that stuff.
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: But go do it.
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: You know, if you can't do that, no, you're not, you're not bullshit, you can too.
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: And um, like my one of my son's best friends, he, when he was younger, he would, he wanted to be a pro hockey player and then when hockey's over, he'd play pro baseball and his parents like great, awesome, go do it.
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: And but like why?
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: Why put?
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: I mean there's going to be so much negativity and difficult times where kids are in life you go through.
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: But like why?
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: Why put?
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: I mean there's going to be so much negativity and difficult times where kids are in life, you go through, but like, let them believe and let them be as naive as long as we can.
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: Yes, you know, and like I always I joke without this, but I truly mean it I want to be the oldest naive person to enter a assist living facility.
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: I'm 90.
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: Just with positivity you're bringing.
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: And another thing I'll last dad kind of wisdom joke I'll say, like I mean so many times people that probably know what AI is artificial intelligence, it's changing the world, blah, blah, blah.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: You're right, it is.
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: However, the one thing that AI will never replace is being nice.
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: So just be nice.
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: Kindness your parents taught you.
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: Be nice to people, shake their hand.
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: Look how do you make people feel We'll never, we'll never get old.
• 59:02
  Speaker 3: A handwritten note.
• 59:02
  Speaker 3: You also don't know, casey, the interactions, like a lesson I've learned is the positive things that you bring to people like that I'll give you.
• 59:09
  Speaker 3: I'll give you one last story about this coach in ice hockey.
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: It was a really cool moment.
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: I talk about how much I love coaching.
• 59:14
  Speaker 3: There was a girl named Amy that I coached at the age of 12.
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: She was going through a tough time and I was there to support her and I told her I believed in her and later in the season we didn't have captains at the time we went to the playoffs and she wasn't like our best statistical player or anything like that.
• 59:32
  Speaker 3: And the referee said, hey, coach, we need to have a captain here.
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: I'm like, well, we don't have a captain.
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: It was well, you got about 10 seconds to figure it out and I'm like Amy get over here for a second.
• 59:43
  Speaker 3: I'm like Amy um, you need to go to center ice, talk to referees.
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: Um, they want to know the captain's team is it's you?
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: And she looked at me.
• 59:47
  Speaker 3: She's like it's me, I go.
• 59:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's you, she goes.
• 59:49
  Speaker 3: Why I go?
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: Best teammate, you have the mindset that I want to have on the ice, which is every minute you're on the ice you play your heart out.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 3: And I said you're going to lead this team in this playoff series.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 3: So I go, go talk to the rest, see what they want.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: So that's a cool story.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 3: Well, the cooler story is seven years later, when I get a random text from Amy and she says you know, coach, I wanted to let you know.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: I'm going to college, I've been playing hockey the whole time and I want to let you know.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: I never forgot what you told me and I was a captain of my high school team and I'm going to this college next year to play hockey.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: And I was like chills.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 2: Totally.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 3: You know it's like you just don't know, when you're nice to somebody, you're kind to somebody like the impact it's going to have on them.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: You just don it because it's the right thing to do.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: That is gold, my man, I, um, I was going to look, I'll, I'll, I'll find this off the air, but I, I, um.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: I had a similar moment coaching when, um, you don't realize again the impact you have on people.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: But if you, if we, slow down, you can impact everybody every single day.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: Right and like, do you want to be remembered by?
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: Like, oh, that guy was the always the uptight, the grouchy, you know, god, rest in peace.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: My pop, my pops, could drop the best, god dammit, and he was intense sometimes and he would get frustrated and sometimes, like his impatience, I see it in me, yeah, and I just always challenged myself like, dude, it's not that big a deal.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: Like, chill out, you know, and slow down.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: But so I love that story.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: I was such a powerful, powerful one.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: Okay, the book, yeah, making the adjustment.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: Tell me, tell me why people should be excited about this book coming out I you know it's, it's a ode to my college coach, and so the process started, case when kind of lost my job and I started to think about my mindset.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: Um, that was required, and I thought about my coach, chris, you're the one that has to make the adjustment.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: His famous phrase was son, make the adjustment.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 3: So his voice was ringing in my head the entire time as I started my coaching business.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 3: I realized that behavior change is a massive piece of what we do, and so, as the book began to take shape, it began as kind of a self-reflective piece or a memoir of my life in my own personal experiences, but then it also became everything I've learned from all the people that taught me throughout my life my father, my coach, my former bosses, my colleagues and so the book kind of took shape that way.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 3: So the book, the audience of the book if you're in, if you're in in leadership and staffing, or sales rather, or sports, you'll get a lot of the anecdotes.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 3: But honestly, I wrote the book for everybody that's going through something hard, and so it's a book about how to navigate change.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 3: It's a book on how to overcome adversity.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 3: It's a book on how to attain better outcomes and taking control of your life outcomes and taking control of your life.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 3: And so, you know, I've had many, I've had many subtitles to make the adjustment.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 3: But my coaches, you know, phrase of make the adjustment was was the title from day one and that was never going to change.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 3: But the subtitle is now, you know, becoming is it more about attaining better outcomes and overcoming adversity, or really it's?
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: It's, it's become more of a journey of how to create transformational change in your life, whether it's in your personal life or professional life.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 3: And so there's lessons in there for you if you're not a professional, but I've also put blocks of the book in there for for kind of professional lessons as well.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 3: And so it's, it's a book for anybody, and some of the people that have read it early, um, you know, are very excited about it.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 3: I'm really proud of it.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 3: Um, you know, a lot of, a lot of work's gone into it.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 3: I actually hit the, I hit the final manuscript submittal on Monday June 3rd, so it'll be printed, hopefully, in August and out in September.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: So good, well, we will make sure um, I know we're teasing everybody about this book, but when it comes out, we'll make sure we, we, we share, uh, like a cover image on our, our social channels so that people can make sure they get a copy of it.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: Um, and I love this.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: I love the fact that you, you wrote about you know your own learnings and your own impact, that you kind of showing gratitude to your coach who taught you these things, and then, um, cause, you know, no one thinks about these things by themselves.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: So everything is, you know, everything is learned, everything is taught In Casey.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 3: I'll leave you this last note.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: So my college coach passed away about eight years ago and all the Rollins guys went to his.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 3: His funeral is is um at Rollins, and so memory is a celebration of life.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 3: And his son, trey, who I played with, trey Coffey did the eulogy and you know 300 grown men crying.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 3: Right we're all sitting there just crying and sad and this is the powerful moment for me when Trey looks up and he goes.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 3: You know, guys, if Boyd was here right now you're all crying.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: Like what would he say?
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: And in a church filled with 300 men and a lot of other people, he goes, everyone goes.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 3: Son, make the adjustment.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: So good.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 3: And so one of the things about this book Casey and I and it gives me the chills now I am not Boyd Coffey, I don't pretend to be Boyd Coffey the impact he had on people.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to have a fraction of the impact that Boyd had on people and it's actually shocking to me that all of the 300 guys before me never kind of tried, never didn't have the vehicle to bring the message to the greater masses.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 3: And it's such a powerful message and I'm just very proud and humbled to bring it to as many people to be interested in hearing about it.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: Well, I can see it in the shelves at Rollins college now, uh, where it's required reading for anybody in business, required reading for every athlete, required for.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: You know, and just uh, I know how hard it is to write a book, um, and so good on you, dude, for, for, for accomplishing it, and I'm glad I could have a small percent of the of the, the help flick that first domino to get you going, cause that's all you needed, um, and you, you've done the thing, and I can't, I can't, wait to read it myself.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: Um, how can people connect with you?
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 2: What's the easiest way to find you?
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 3: Yep, the easiest way is I have make the adjustmentcom my.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 3: My corporate website is mtaconsultancycom, but if you go to make the adjustmentcom it'll.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 3: It'll bounce you to um, to our website.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 2: Okay, and on social media, what's the best way people can find you too?
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 3: Chris Mader, mta Um.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 3: I'm on Twitter, linkedin uh.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 3: Instagram is MTA consultancy as well, and Chris Mader, mta.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, I will make sure this is linked in the show notes.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 2: All right, chris, it's now time to go into what I call the lightning round, and when I just ask you random questions, I've not prepared at all.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 2: I'm going to show you that the effects have taken too many hits not bomb hits, but football hits in college football and show you why, quarterbacks, we have a screw loose, but we like to have fun.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: Your job is to answer these as quickly as you can and my job is to try to make you laugh.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, true or false?
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: You turned down the role of Roger Dorn in the movie Major League.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 3: That's false.
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 3: I wish I had that opportunity.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 2: You do look like Roger Dorn a little bit.
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 3: I know it's a good call.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 3: That's a good call.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 2: True or false, you turned down the role of Pedro Serrano in Major League.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 3: That's also false.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 3: But he was great.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 2: That was the guy who I had, Joe boo right Up your butt, joe boo.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I just watched that last weekend by myself.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 2: That's completely random, but it's God there's so many good ones.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 2: Okay, tell me the last book you read.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 3: Oh man, the last.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 3: I read so many books.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 3: What's the last book I read?
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 3: That's a really good question.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 3: I have to put thought into it.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 3: I mean, I read your book last summer, as you know.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 3: Oh, you know, whose book I read about a month ago was Neil Rogers' book Bartips.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: Former guest on the podcast yeah, Bartips.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 3: I read that on the plane a month ago.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 3: That was an excellent book.
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, good stories now and shout out.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: And our boy, chris Martin.
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: He introduced me to him.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 3: Oh great, that's great.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, small circle, that's great.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: Actually yesterday was Chris Martin's birthday.
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 2: For the record, Anybody scoring at home.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 3: I didn't text him.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 3: Oh bad friend.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 3: May 29th.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 2: Happy bladed, do it.
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 2: If I went into your phone right now, what would be the one song that I listen to, or type of music?
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 3: Um of Wolf and man by Metallica.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 2: Solid, very solid.
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 2: Uh, if you were to start a band right now, what instrument would you play?
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 3: Guitar.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 3: I actually do play guitar, okay, and I'm currently taking vocal lessons because I can't sing.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 2: and I'm trying to sing.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: Dude, let's karaoke it up.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: I can sing and after like four beers, I'm drinking.
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 2: Billy Idol Guitar and vocals.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: Are you a plucker or a picker or a strummer?
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 3: I'm a strummer, I love open chords and I have a 12-string guitar that I love, an ovation that I love.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, if you were to go once you get married or remarried, if you were to go anywhere on vacation, just you and her.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 2: Where are you going?
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 3: Italy, we've talked about it.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 2: We've always wanted to go.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, do you know where?
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: In Italy.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 3: So I've heard Amalfi Coast is beautiful and she likes to shop, as do I.
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 3: So, milan, okay, do some shopping, yeah.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 2: Venice is fantastic.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 2: That's the one place in Italy I've been.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: It's unreal.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 3: That's like the romantic city, right, it's yeah.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's, it's great.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 2: Okay, if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 3: Oh my goodness.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 3: I mean I can I say make the adjustment?
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 3: Sure, let's see Book written about my life.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, I said earlier, but I would say it's obscene optimism.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 2: I said earlier but I would say it's obscene optimism.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, I like that.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, obscene optimism.
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 2: Now, believe it or not, it's killing it and it made make the adjustment look like a JV book, because this new book is just killing it and it's crushing that one.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 2: But now Hollywood's found out about it and you are now the casting director.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 3: Okay, and I need to know who's going to star you in this critically acclaimed new hit movie.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 3: Oh wow, If it's closer to my age now, well, he might be older than me, like Kevin Costner, I would think.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: I see that I thought you were going to go.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: Maybe Robert Redford.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 3: Robert Redford would be amazing.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 3: That's a big compliment, that's a jump.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to think of somebody like if they know any of the actors nowadays that are like younger, somebody from Boston would probably be a good call.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 3: That's actually a really good call.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 2: Or Matt Damon, you could pull that one, matt Damon would be better.
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 3: He's a little stockier than Wahlberg, so probably yeah, matt Damon would be good.
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, and then last question Tell me two words that will describe your new wife.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 3: Wow, oh my good.
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 3: Um, so, loyal is definitely one.
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 3: Uh, loyalty is something that she's in an intuitive her her level of intuition is incredible and I admire it greatly.
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 3: And, um, yeah, just her loyalty is something I respect quite a bit.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: Lightning rounds over.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: I did get a giggle out of you, but we'll call it a tie, cause I get giggled up my own jokes, which I tend to do.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: To do, dude, it's been so fun getting to know you better.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 2: I love the stories you shared.
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 2: I have a page full of notes.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: I hope everybody does as well.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 2: If you have, this is the first episode you've ever listened to everybody.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 2: Good news is one thank you for listening, but you got 250.
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: Some odd other episodes you can.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: You can check out.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 2: And if you're a, if you're a loyal listener and you've not taken time to go into Spotify or Apple podcasts or wherever you consume your podcast, if you could please take time, leave us a review, let us know what you think, what you like, hopefully five stars.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 2: If I could bribe you, um, but the other other ask, I would ask is just um, share an episode with somebody.
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 2: If there's another dad you think that could listen to this episode and get inspired and just you know, figure out a way to like to quote Chris, make the adjustment in life be a little bit better.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 2: We're going to make this world a better spot.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: But, man, it's been grateful spending time with you and I can't wait to do our paths across again.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: We get a, maybe get on the golf course and maybe not have scotch, but maybe have something different.
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 3: Good luck in your tournament, and I'm very grateful to have spent this time with you, casey, and met you, and you're a great guy, and I love what you're doing in the world as well, so thanks for the opportunity to talk to you.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 2: You bet brother, All right.