Latest / We Are More: Sisters Talk Faith & Feminism / Ep. 9: Rage, Pigeons, and Submission
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to the We Are More podcast. My name is Alyssa.
- 0:15And my name's Bri. We're two sisters passionate about all things faith and feminism.
- 0:21We believe that Jesus trusted, respected, and encouraged women to teach and preach His
- 0:25Word. And apparently that's controversial.
- 0:28Get comfy.
- 0:30Hello.
- 0:32Hello.
- 0:34Welcome to episode eight.
- 0:47We've got to stop making this joke. It's not a joke.
- 0:53I think it is episode eight, but it's part two.
- 0:56Yes.
- 0:57Continuation. Dreams come true.
- 0:59I was literally about to say that.
- 1:03Submission part two. Dreams come true.
- 1:10Things get better from here.
- 1:13Unknown.
- 1:14Maybe this part will be less rage.
- 1:17Maybe. I doubt it.
- 1:18Probably not.
- 1:20So last week we talked about the big S.
- 1:26Stacey.
- 1:27We talked about submission, which is one that we have been ready to kind of get into for
- 1:33a while.
- 1:34It's a tough topic.
- 1:37It's tough and yet it's like the most important thing.
- 1:41It's the most important and I think it's so misunderstood.
- 1:45Amongst the Christian community because a lot of people believe in it, but don't live
- 1:51it.
- 1:52Right.
- 1:53Well, we've talked about that before with our parents where they would have preached
- 2:00it.
- 2:01Like they would have said, yeah, this is what you're supposed to do as a Christian couple,
- 2:03Christian woman.
- 2:04But really like we never saw our mom was not any sort of submissive wife.
- 2:12Mom was just as much of a leader as dad was.
- 2:15Right.
- 2:16And I think that is kind of what shaped you and I into who we are today.
- 2:20We're strong, confident ladies.
- 2:22She'll like to hear that.
- 2:24You're welcome, mom.
- 2:27Yeah.
- 2:28I mean, because we saw an example of that, but at the same time, because it was preached
- 2:33to us in our home and at church, like not just for mom and dad.
- 2:38Yeah, for sure.
- 2:39From most of the female influences in our lives and a lot of the male influences in
- 2:44our lives too.
- 2:46I think at least for me, that's what shaped how I approached relationships and marriage
- 2:55in the beginning anyway, before I kind of started to branch off on my own.
- 2:59Yeah.
- 3:00So last week was a little bit of a downer because we just were full of, as Taylor such
- 3:06as a female rage, the musical.
- 3:08She's trying to trademark that.
- 3:11She should.
- 3:12That's pretty good.
- 3:13If she does though, we might have to cut that part out.
- 3:16Sorry, Taylor.
- 3:17I'm sure she's listening.
- 3:19I'm sure she is.
- 3:21So we talked through a little bit, kind of the main complimentarian points, I think.
- 3:29For arguments that submission was pre-fault.
- 3:34Right.
- 3:35So the submission started like God was, when God planned out the human race, that he planned
- 3:42it with female submission in the perfect order of things.
- 3:48And really in order, I really think in order for the whole argument of wives should submit
- 3:54to their husbands in everything all the time, only works if it did precede the fall.
- 4:02So again, churchy terms, but if it happened before sin entered the world.
- 4:08So we just kind of went through a lot of the main arguments.
- 4:12We worked through a specific article, but it addressed all of the main things that we've
- 4:16heard at least, right?
- 4:18Yeah.
- 4:19So today we're going to go from the opposite perspective.
- 4:22Frankly, at this point, I'm not sure if this is a two parter episode or a three parter
- 4:26episode.
- 4:27I think it's an ongoing conversation.
- 4:29So these will be the two first introductions to the topic maybe on the podcast, but I think
- 4:37that's a topic that is going to spend the lifetime of you and I talking about this nonsense.
- 4:42I think it's going to spend our lifetime.
- 4:47And anyone who chooses to interact with us.
- 4:50Sorry.
- 4:51Prepare yourselves.
- 4:52Anyone who is obnoxious.
- 4:57So one of the, I guess, bloggers that I follow on Facebook, I'm actually not sure which one
- 5:03it was.
- 5:04I'll just pick that up and maybe post it on the Insta.
- 5:08If you're not following us on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube, I was going to say like
- 5:14Carrier Pigeon, Smoke Signal.
- 5:17You should!
- 5:18Yeah, you should definitely follow us on Carrier Pigeon.
- 5:20We're great at that.
- 5:21Very occasionally we post something very funny or inspirational.
- 5:25Mostly it's funny.
- 5:28But yeah, any of those we are more of a dot podcast, right?
- 5:33And then TikTok is...
- 5:36It's confusing.
- 5:37I'm sure if you looked up like we are more podcasts, we'd pop up, but it's like we dot
- 5:41more...
- 5:42Nope.
- 5:43Did that?
- 5:44This is the second time I've heard that.
- 5:46I think it is.
- 5:47We dot are dot more four.
- 5:49Okay, I think it's technically the name.
- 5:52And Bri posts some good stuff over there.
- 5:54So definitely check it out.
- 5:55We post previews there a lot.
- 5:58So that's always fun.
- 5:59You can kind of see what insanity we're about to see before you jump in.
- 6:06Or you could see our faces.
- 6:07Our beautiful, beautiful faces.
- 6:09They're so beautiful.
- 6:11Mostly my face on TikTok.
- 6:14I haven't figured TikTok out yet.
- 6:16I'm a little vain.
- 6:17Yeah, well, we know that.
- 6:18They've been listening.
- 6:21If you haven't been listening, go back and you can see how vain Bri is.
- 6:25I think we both are.
- 6:26I don't know what you're talking about.
- 6:28I am humble as much as you possibly could be.
- 6:33God hears your lies and he will smite you.
- 6:35So today anyway, I feel like every time I try and get us back on track, I say, so...
- 6:43So today!
- 6:44I think you should try.
- 6:47Get us back on track, Bri.
- 6:50If I were a train, what would I do?
- 6:52So today, we're going to go over a different article that argues that submission was not
- 6:59God's perfect design for humanity.
- 7:02Yeah, that women specifically submitting to their husbands wasn't God's perfect plan.
- 7:09Well, there you go.
- 7:10Because I think, you know, when we talk...
- 7:13The word submission is a rough one in general.
- 7:16It just doesn't come across very well.
- 7:20But when you look at that, at the section in Ephesians that we're about to go through,
- 7:24you can see that before God tells women to submit to their husbands, he tells couples
- 7:32to submit to one another.
- 7:34So I think that's where you really can see, for lack of a better phrase, God's perfect
- 7:40plan for humanity is to both submit to one another.
- 7:44And we've put... there's a lot to this, and we'll get into it, but we've put a paragraph
- 7:50break in there between submit to one another and then the section about God's instructions
- 7:57to women and God's instructions to men.
- 7:59But the paragraph break was not there before.
- 8:01There's something that we added.
- 8:03Yeah, translators added it.
- 8:05And you have to ask...
- 8:06That we, you and I.
- 8:07That's true.
- 8:08But you have to ask the question, what was the motivation behind adding a paragraph break
- 8:12there, adding a chapter break there?
- 8:15Because all of the chapters and the verse numbers and things like that, we put in.
- 8:18Again, not you and I.
- 8:20I don't think I'm quite that educated.
- 8:24I'm not.
- 8:25I was an art major.
- 8:27But there's going to be certain motivations there.
- 8:31And depending on who is translating, you're going to get different biases.
- 8:35Biases?
- 8:36Again, I was an art major.
- 8:38You were the English major.
- 8:39Sorry, I still don't know.
- 8:41All right, so this article, I want to give you the website name, but again, I don't know
- 8:48how to say her name.
- 8:49It looks like Marge.
- 8:51It's Marge, but then I think it's Mausko.
- 8:54Is what I'm going to go with.
- 8:56Okay.
- 8:57We can link it.
- 8:58The title of it is The Chiastic Structure of Ephesians 5, 22 to 23.
- 9:04Or to 33, I'm sorry.
- 9:06About a mouthful.
- 9:07Holy cow.
- 9:08It is quite.
- 9:09But essentially she is talking about Ephesians 5, which is, I think they call them the household
- 9:17codes.
- 9:18That sounds right.
- 9:19Yeah.
- 9:20So it's essentially like Paul, because it wasn't Jesus talking here, it's Paul talking
- 9:26here to the Ephesian church and he's telling husbands and wives what they should be doing.
- 9:35Now preface all of that by saying husbands and wives in Roman society.
- 9:41So this is the segment where Paul is telling husbands and wives how they should behave
- 9:47towards one another, what God's plan is for them and what he wants from them.
- 9:52However, Paul is talking to people in the Roman world, to people in first century Roman
- 10:00societies, which again are very patriarchal.
- 10:04There are actual laws telling women you better do what your husband says or literal death
- 10:11penalty.
- 10:12Right.
- 10:13So keep that in mind.
- 10:14So I'm going to read the segment here.
- 10:19So this is Ephesians 5, 22 through 33.
- 10:23And so this does cut out the part where it says to submit to one another, but it's important
- 10:30to read it like this in the context of her blog, because she's talking about something
- 10:35called chiastic structure, which is super interesting.
- 10:40I had not heard about this before.
- 10:41And again, I was an English major, so maybe I just failed that class.
- 10:46Marge says that Paul in this section is using a common literary device that can be found
- 10:53in the Hebrew Bible and in the New Testament, and that he uses it several times throughout
- 10:57his writing.
- 10:58I think Haiku.
- 11:01Yeah.
- 11:02And this to me informs a lot of why Paul seems confusing.
- 11:07I'm gonna be honest, Paul is a confusing man.
- 11:10Yeah.
- 11:11But I think a big part of it is what she's saying here is Paul is writing in a structure
- 11:15that's common for them that day that we're not using now.
- 11:21No.
- 11:22So it's called a chiasm.
- 11:24And essentially it formed like the sentence, it's hard to explain over podcasts where I
- 11:28can't just like show you a piece of paper, but the sentences form an X shaped pattern.
- 11:34So the thoughts are stated sequentially up until the main point.
- 11:40So you'll have like thought, thought, thought kind of going up a pyramid, then you hit the
- 11:44main point, and then you come back down the pyramid.
- 11:47So the main point is like the cross of that.
- 11:49Yeah.
- 11:50So it's like the middle, the middle of it.
- 11:52So she says that in a chiasm, the main point or highlighted idea is often at the center
- 11:57of a passage.
- 11:59So that's what's happening here.
- 12:01So we're going to read specifically from this.
- 12:05So it says, wives submit or commit yourselves depending on your translation to your own
- 12:10husbands to your own husbands, not your siblings, husbands, not your neighbor's husbands, not
- 12:17that guy down the street that makes you feel weird.
- 12:20Thank you.
- 12:21As to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of
- 12:26the church.
- 12:27He himself is the savior of the body, but as the church submits slash commits herself,
- 12:32herself, herself to Christ.
- 12:35So also the wives to their husbands and everything.
- 12:37Husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her
- 12:44that he mates, he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with
- 12:48the word.
- 12:49So this now we've hit the main point and that is that he might present to himself the church
- 12:56in all her glory.
- 12:57So the he in this situation is Christ.
- 12:59Hmm.
- 13:00Christ.
- 13:01Yes.
- 13:02Not that guy down the street that makes you feel weird.
- 13:05Nope, not that guy.
- 13:06Oh, all right.
- 13:07So now we're coming back down the pyramid and it says having no spot or wrinkle or any
- 13:12such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless.
- 13:15So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies.
- 13:18He who loves his own wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes
- 13:23and cherishes it just as Christ also the church because we are members of his body for this
- 13:30cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and the two shall
- 13:33become one flesh.
- 13:35And then she has another main point because it does another little bloop.
- 13:41This mystery is great, but I am speaking concerning Christ and to the church.
- 13:46Nevertheless, let each individual among you also love his own wife as himself and the
- 13:51wife is to respect her husband.
- 13:53So the way that this pyramid functions, so you've got that main point in the center,
- 13:58but then the others line up with each other.
- 14:03So point one on the pyramid lines up with the last point on the other side of the pyramid.
- 14:11Point two lines up with the next one.
- 14:15Between bricks and the ones directly across from each other line up so they can kind of
- 14:20inform each other.
- 14:23Which again is a big part of why this passage is confusing.
- 14:29Because it jumps back and forth from talking to wives and then suddenly talking to husbands
- 14:33and then suddenly talking about Christ and the church.
- 14:35And then like it feels disorganized to us here in 2024.
- 14:41Is that what year we're in?
- 14:44Is it 2024?
- 14:46It's unclear to me.
- 14:47I'm pretty sure.
- 14:48So she says that when you can see the structure of the passage, you can see the points a little
- 14:54bit more clearly.
- 14:55So it again informs everything and helps you to understand.
- 15:00So first of all, Christ lowered himself down to our level because it says he became human,
- 15:06gave himself up for the church, died on the cross, all the things.
- 15:12Now if this passage is saying to men, do as Christ did, Christ lowered himself.
- 15:19I just want to like pause on that for a minute.
- 15:23These people are living in a very patriarchal society.
- 15:27Men have a much, much higher status than women.
- 15:32And Christ, who you're supposed to be exemplifying, lowered himself.
- 15:39Let's just put a pin in that.
- 15:43Yeah, the god of the creation.
- 15:47He created you, me, that guy down the street.
- 15:53And brought himself down to our level in human form.
- 15:59And we'll circle back to that.
- 16:00But I just want you to like, you know, keep that little thought right there in your head.
- 16:06And think about that in context to, I don't know, certain pastors, certain men in your
- 16:11life.
- 16:12So she says, but even more than that, even more than lowering himself, which I mean,
- 16:19yes, they were living in a very patriarchal society and men had a higher status, but the
- 16:27chasm between men and women is a lot less than the chasm between Christ and us.
- 16:32So remember that Christ lowered himself a whole bunch more.
- 16:36But beyond that, she says that more than lowering himself, Christ elevates the church.
- 16:46So yes, Christ came to where we are.
- 16:50He met us where we are, even though he had so much more authority, so much more power,
- 16:54so much more, he brought himself to where we are.
- 16:59And then from there, he put us up on his shoulders and lifted us up as high as we could go.
- 17:04I like that visual.
- 17:08And he did that by sanctifying, cleansing and glorifying the church, right?
- 17:13So that's what Paul is talking about.
- 17:18And Paul is comparing husbands to this story right here.
- 17:24Now one thing that I've heard, and this is a little bit of an offshoot, but I hear this
- 17:29all the time.
- 17:30These biblical wonderful men will say, well, I would die for my wife.
- 17:34I would die for the church.
- 17:35Oh yes, I would love to dive into it.
- 17:38It's just, it's the dumbest argument.
- 17:43I was actually thinking, this is one of my shower thoughts this morning.
- 17:47It is so much easier to think like, of course I would die for you.
- 17:52That is the easy way out.
- 17:53Oh yeah.
- 17:54To end it all and be done.
- 17:58It is so much harder to live for someone.
- 18:02You can't care for someone, like for example, on the plane, put on your own oxygen mask
- 18:06before you put on someone else's.
- 18:09It's a lot harder because you can't care for someone else without caring for yourself and
- 18:14making sure you're okay.
- 18:15Does that make sense?
- 18:17I think we bounced to do a different topic for a second there.
- 18:19Oh well, you can cut that part out.
- 18:22That was my shower thought.
- 18:23But your point is super valid because living for someone is really difficult.
- 18:29Just like with my kids, I can tell you that I love my kids enough that if a bus is barreling
- 18:37down the road towards them, I'm going to shove them out of the way even if it means I'm going
- 18:39to get hit by the bus.
- 18:41However, that's not, it's a one moment thing.
- 18:47It's a one moment decision as opposed to every day when they wake me up at seven o'clock,
- 18:54not getting frustrated with them and letting them climb in my bed and climb on top of me
- 18:57and say, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom,
- 19:00and living every day with them in mind, with their best interests in mind.
- 19:07So I think the point there and on top of that, what a stupid thing to say.
- 19:14I would die for you.
- 19:15In what scenario are you being asked to die?
- 19:18Alyssa, I would catch a grenade for you.
- 19:23Throw my head on a blade for you.
- 19:24I don't think people are going to know that song anymore.
- 19:27I was from high school.
- 19:28It's Bruno Mars.
- 19:29Look it up.
- 19:30Don't though, because he's kind of the worst.
- 19:33He is the worst.
- 19:35But it's just how often are you being asked to jump in front of a bullet for somebody
- 19:40else?
- 19:41No, rarely.
- 19:42You're just not.
- 19:43And you know that.
- 19:45The husbands who are saying, well, I'm fulfilling my calling from God because I'm willing to
- 19:53die for my wife, have simplified it to a level that is blasphemous.
- 20:01I mean really.
- 20:04That's asking absolutely nothing of you because you know and I know and your wife knows and
- 20:10the creepy guy down the street knows that you're not going to be asked to die for her.
- 20:16Maybe like maybe in some random 1% chance scenario.
- 20:24But 99.99999999% of the time.
- 20:30That's not happening.
- 20:31So stop being stupid.
- 20:34Don't offer to die for your wife.
- 20:37Live for her.
- 20:39Every day.
- 20:41Live for her best interest.
- 20:45Wake up and think, how can I show up for this person more?
- 20:48How can I serve her today?
- 20:50And that goes for wives too.
- 20:51I'm not saying this specifically for two men.
- 20:53Well it says submit to each other.
- 20:55Exactly.
- 20:56It's just kind of the point that we're making here is wake up and serve one another because
- 21:00Christ spent his life in humble service to the church.
- 21:06And if that's what we're supposed to compare ourselves to, if that's what we're supposed
- 21:09to be.
- 21:10And also offshoot.
- 21:11I don't mean to say like, well I did the dishes for her.
- 21:15Right.
- 21:16No.
- 21:17It's not her job.
- 21:18It's both of yours job.
- 21:21Both of your jobs.
- 21:23Be a partnership.
- 21:25Yeah.
- 21:26Work together.
- 21:27A little tit for tat.
- 21:28I'm gonna cut that part out.
- 21:29That's a quote from the Corpse Bride.
- 21:32Great.
- 21:33So anyway that was us just chatting.
- 21:36Let's reel it back in.
- 21:38Got a little off topic there.
- 21:41So what she says is that when you interpret this passage through traditional gender roles,
- 21:47so the expectation of like Christian conservative gender roles, the message of Christ lowering
- 21:57himself and elevating the church really gets lost.
- 22:02And I love how she says it because she says this glorious message is lost or overshadowed.
- 22:07So we've heard and we mentioned this in the last podcast, men will say things about a
- 22:13submissive wife and a submissive marriage like, oh it's this beautiful picture of Christ
- 22:19and the church.
- 22:21But here she's turning that completely on its head and she says here is a glorious message
- 22:29of Christ and the church, Christ lowering himself and elevating the church, not Christ
- 22:39staying at his high societally expected position and expecting the church to stay where she
- 22:46is.
- 22:48Sizzle.
- 22:54So think about that, he's elevating the church, making all their dreams come true, right?
- 23:04Rather than saying like, you might have dreams but mine are more important and you actually
- 23:10don't get to achieve your dreams, you get to help me achieve mine.
- 23:16Yep.
- 23:17Might be thinking about Harrison Bucker.
- 23:23So I just think that's a beautiful point.
- 23:26I think we've heard that traditional stereotype so many times and I just absolutely love how
- 23:34she words it.
- 23:36So she talks through a little bit of Ephesians and then making the church holy and blameless,
- 23:42things like that.
- 23:44And I think we've talked through a lot of this just in our random chatting.
- 23:51But she says that you need to note that Paul doesn't ask husbands to give up their lives
- 23:57for their wives.
- 23:58Like just make that little note.
- 24:00I know we kind of made that point a second ago but Paul doesn't make that point either.
- 24:04Right, it's something that we've just made up on our own.
- 24:08Because we will say, well Christ did give up his life for the church.
- 24:11Okay.
- 24:12Well it's like that toxic masculinity.
- 24:17They love talking about death.
- 24:19Yay, death.
- 24:22That makes me more manly if I'm willing to die.
- 24:26But she does talk about that.
- 24:28She says neither death or dying or the crucifixion or the cross are explicitly mentioned in Ephesians
- 24:345.
- 24:35And there are enough explicitly mentioned things that Paul would have said that if that
- 24:41was the point.
- 24:43And he doesn't.
- 24:44He gives them actual, humble, real instructions of like here's who Christ was.
- 24:51I knew him.
- 24:53You knew him from his writings, his teachings, his whatever.
- 24:57Do that.
- 24:59Stop being dumb.
- 25:00She also quotes Ephesians 5, 2.
- 25:04So that's a little bit earlier in the passage but it's important to read the whole passage.
- 25:08I would encourage you to open up Ephesians, read the whole chapter.
- 25:11But Ephesians 5, 2, Paul tells the Ephesians to walk in love as Christ also loved us and
- 25:17gave himself for us a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God.
- 25:22I think that's such an important message too because you look at the message of wives submit
- 25:28to your husbands all of the time.
- 25:30There's very little love in that.
- 25:33Love never gets mentioned.
- 25:35No.
- 25:36It says love your wives like Christ loved the church but the message is more geared
- 25:41towards women.
- 25:44Put aside your dreams.
- 25:47Pick up the broom.
- 25:49And that's your life and that's all you're ever going to amount to is less than.
- 25:55This is kind of an offshoot and we might cut this but I've had this conversation with
- 25:59many, many family members.
- 26:02But one of them that sometimes we agree on these things, sometimes we don't.
- 26:07But he had said that it's never a man's job to tell a woman what her job is, what God
- 26:15is telling her to do.
- 26:16I find that so interesting because it's always, not always, but often male pastors getting
- 26:22up and talking about submission and telling a wife what she is supposed to be doing.
- 26:27Pointing out the speck in someone else's eye instead of looking at their own.
- 26:31You're supposed to submit, you're supposed to do this.
- 26:33And not saying like, hey let's just keep to ourselves and whatever God tells me to do
- 26:39I'll do and whatever God tells you to do you should do.
- 26:43Because I believe that I have a relationship with God and you have a relationship with
- 26:47God and I respect both of our relationships separately.
- 26:53And that they can be different.
- 26:55That my reality isn't everybody's reality.
- 26:56And we say that all the time.
- 26:58It's so important to remember.
- 27:00I feel like I say that four times an episode.
- 27:03She gets tattooed on our chest.
- 27:05That wouldn't be weird at all.
- 27:07But one of the really important, so she makes a footnote on this and we can circle back
- 27:10later, but she says an important note is that husbands cannot cleanse or sanctify their
- 27:15wives.
- 27:17I love that.
- 27:18Say it again for the people in the back.
- 27:21So I'm just going to read this directly.
- 27:25I just love it.
- 27:26Note also that husbands cannot cleanse or sanctify their Christian wives.
- 27:29That's the work of Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
- 27:32Husbands are not Jesus.
- 27:36If you guys could, I'm like gesturing with my hands.
- 27:40Which I think so often in the conservative world, men forget that.
- 27:47Oh yeah.
- 27:48They would never say it, but they forget it.
- 27:51But some of them do say it.
- 27:53So she posts a video on this article and I will do my best to link this article.
- 27:58But she posts a video where this man directly says that the husband's role is to sanctify
- 28:05his bride and make her presentable before Christ.
- 28:08You cannot.
- 28:09If that's right.
- 28:10And she makes this point.
- 28:12If that's right.
- 28:13If that's really true.
- 28:14What about single women?
- 28:15Yeah.
- 28:16What does that mean for me?
- 28:18You can't be sanctified.
- 28:19You are screwed.
- 28:20Find a man.
- 28:21I'm going down.
- 28:22And what does it mean about widowed women?
- 28:32What does it mean about women who marry non-Christian men?
- 28:39Because we've had examples of that in our lives.
- 28:42Absolutely.
- 28:43Or what about men who seemed like they were following God and then didn't?
- 28:50She says that the Bible teaches that Jesus is the savior and sanctifier of both men and
- 29:00women.
- 29:01And I mean, you can see that throughout the whole world.
- 29:03Yeah.
- 29:04Jesus is the savior of the world.
- 29:05Not that creepy guy down the street.
- 29:07Or the creepy guy you married.
- 29:10If you married a creepy guy.
- 29:13Or the nice guy that you married.
- 29:15Yeah.
- 29:16It doesn't matter.
- 29:17It doesn't matter.
- 29:18But frankly, let's flip it on its head a little bit.
- 29:23Do you want that responsibility?
- 29:26I think we brought up this point in the last podcast too.
- 29:30Men, do you want that responsibility of sanctifying your wife for Christ?
- 29:38Because I can tell you the only way that that happened for humanity was Jesus coming down,
- 29:45getting off his throne, or your high horse.
- 29:50Completely blameless.
- 29:51Sinless.
- 29:52Yep.
- 29:53Living a life, living a full entire life in service to his people, with zero other priorities.
- 30:01No other work.
- 30:03No spouse.
- 30:04No kids.
- 30:05No other priorities.
- 30:07And then dying for it.
- 30:08Say your thought.
- 30:09Why is it okay for Jesus to be single but not me?
- 30:14Well, the church, you're a girl.
- 30:18I don't know.
- 30:19I got nothing for you.
- 30:21That's a different podcast, Brianna.
- 30:24That is one that we should do.
- 30:25Yes, it is.
- 30:26Well, we wanted to do Single Women in the Church.
- 30:29So this footnote, honestly, I could do a whole podcast.
- 30:35I could do a whole podcast on the things in this footnote.
- 30:37I think we really could.
- 30:41But one of the other points that she makes, and I just want to bring it up, it kind of
- 30:46is a little bit of a different thought.
- 30:49She says that the idea that the husband is the final decision maker has no biblical basis.
- 30:57Tell me more, Alyssa.
- 30:58I would love to, Brianna.
- 31:00Thank you for asking.
- 31:01You're welcome.
- 31:03She says the only biblical precedent that she can find is in 1 Corinthians 7.5.
- 31:09So let's look that up real quick.
- 31:11She links to it.
- 31:12And I just want to point out the difference between this article and the article that
- 31:15we read from on the last podcast.
- 31:19The amount of references.
- 31:21And research.
- 31:22So much.
- 31:23There are so many different biblical passages here.
- 31:28She's got so much research.
- 31:29I mean, this woman, this is a research essay.
- 31:32If she turned this in, she'd get an A.
- 31:34Yeah, it's not just like, here's a verse, but this is what I got from this verse.
- 31:39No, it's like, here's the biblical research and history behind this verse.
- 31:47Exactly.
- 31:48And the other article just, it just didn't have any of it.
- 31:52He would reference an occasional verse, and I think we talked about the verses that he
- 31:55did reference, but it was mostly specifically from this passage in Ephesians.
- 32:00And it's all just his thoughts about it.
- 32:02Yeah.
- 32:03This is what I interpreted, and this is what I think.
- 32:07Which again, if this works in your life, like I guess, have a great time if your wife is
- 32:13chill with it, but don't put it on an entire gender.
- 32:20No.
- 32:21And certainly don't put it on an entire gender and then say it was God's idea.
- 32:26Because that's a recipe for abuse.
- 32:27Cough, cough, cough, cough.
- 32:30So do you need a Kleenex?
- 32:32Yeah.
- 32:33People need for coughs, right?
- 32:36Kleenexes.
- 32:38So she says the only reference that she can find for that is 1 Corinthians 7 and 5, and
- 32:42I'm going to read that for you.
- 32:44It says, do not deprive one another except when you agree for a time to devote yourself
- 32:49to prayer, then come together again.
- 32:52Otherwise Satan may tempt you because of your lack of control, of self control.
- 32:56So I'm pretty sure this, I'm just talking about sex.
- 32:59Oh, baby.
- 33:00I actually want to look this up though in like the NLT.
- 33:04I actually love what that says though, like, because just for me personally, like being
- 33:11in small groups with women who were married, they would say, well, if we get into an argument
- 33:18and we can't come to a decision, submission to me means that my husband gets just the
- 33:24final say.
- 33:25Mm-hmm.
- 33:26Rather than stopping that argument right there and both praying about it.
- 33:30Absolutely.
- 33:31That's a really good point.
- 33:33And assuming that God is not the God of confusion and that you both have good relationships
- 33:38with him and that he will lead you to the same conclusion.
- 33:41Right.
- 33:42That's a really good point.
- 33:43Yeah, thank you.
- 33:44I thought about that.
- 33:45It is about sex.
- 33:46Baby.
- 33:47This verse.
- 33:48The NLT says, do not deprive each other of sexual relations unless you both agree to
- 33:53refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely
- 33:57to prayer.
- 33:59But the reason that she references that verse in particular is that it's talking about husbands
- 34:05and wives making a mutual decision together.
- 34:07So whatever it's about, it's not necessarily, I mean, it is specifically talking about that,
- 34:13but another big S. But coming together and making a decision together.
- 34:21However, make a note, it says together, not and husbands tell your wives they're going
- 34:31to do this, which again could lead to abuse.
- 34:35Literally is abuse.
- 34:38So that's kind of a little bit of that footnote and that's a good one to go into.
- 34:43I really like it.
- 34:44Okay.
- 34:45So going back to that chiastic structure that we talked about earlier.
- 34:49Full circle.
- 34:50Are you proud?
- 34:51No.
- 34:52You should probably be.
- 34:54I'm actually offended.
- 34:58So that means that, and it's hard to, again, it's hard to explain without like having a
- 35:03visual.
- 35:04If we had an actual like YouTube video, I'd pop up a slide.
- 35:07Oh, like a real professor.
- 35:11Yeah.
- 35:12I was impressed.
- 35:15Yes.
- 35:16They love slides.
- 35:19Anyway, you can tell when we're being foolish.
- 35:29It gets loud.
- 35:32So she, she letters the sections so that you can kind of see them ascending and descending
- 35:38so that you can see which verses are kind of matched up in that chiastic structure.
- 35:42So she says that Paul links submission with respect in those, the first like the A, she
- 35:49calls them the A sentences.
- 35:50So that's those first kind of pillar blocks there.
- 35:53So then that means that submission and respect are connected.
- 35:58Now she points out that the word for submit is not always in all of the ancient manuscripts
- 36:07that contain Ephesians 522.
- 36:11Tell me more, Alyssa.
- 36:13That's really all I know a whole lot about that, but it's just an interesting point that
- 36:20again, it calls translators into question because they're pulling from all kinds of
- 36:26ancient manuscripts.
- 36:27But also you think like the different translations are all like, they all have a, there's an
- 36:35agenda.
- 36:36They're skewed a little differently.
- 36:38Yeah.
- 36:39Like KJV, ESV, they're all, they have an agenda to some degree.
- 36:46And you can look that up and actually prove that.
- 36:50So the King James version was written because King James needed a Bible that held up the
- 36:57monarch.
- 36:59Just knowing this from history classes and my Bible classes in college, the Bible, there
- 37:05was a study Bible at the time.
- 37:06I think it was the Geneva Bible.
- 37:08I'm not a hundred percent sure.
- 37:10That was the most popular choice at the time.
- 37:12And it was very down on like the government, monarchy, whatever.
- 37:18And so he needed something that was going to religiously tell people that they had to
- 37:22follow him.
- 37:23So he had the KJV commissioned.
- 37:27It's a great way to manipulate people.
- 37:28Absolutely.
- 37:29Religion always has been.
- 37:30Tell people that God wants this of you rather than I want this of you.
- 37:36You're going to get a lot more pull that way.
- 37:39And then you can look at the ESV as well, which was written in response to the NIV,
- 37:45I believe.
- 37:46The NIV was written and put a lot of more gender neutral terms because it was, they
- 37:52were translating it that way because they were looking at the original manuscripts and
- 37:56they're saying, oh, hey, this doesn't mean a masculine term or a feminine term.
- 38:02It means both.
- 38:04So the NIV translators wrote it that way.
- 38:08The ESV was written because they looked at the NIV and they said, no, absolutely not.
- 38:15You're taking gender out of the Bible.
- 38:17How dare you?
- 38:18And so they wrote it in a much more extreme male based way.
- 38:26So you can see that happening all over the place.
- 38:28So that's just kind of what she's saying here is like in a lot of the ancient manuscripts,
- 38:32the word submit is not there.
- 38:34So it's just, that's why when she quotes it up here, she says submit slash commit yourselves
- 38:41because that would be the other translation.
- 38:42I just really wish that in all of this, people would look at each other and say, God created
- 38:53you and God created me in love.
- 38:57So let's just love each other.
- 38:59Let's quit trying to put each other down, trying to argue for who's more in power.
- 39:06It's just really frustrating because I don't think that's what Jesus would want.
- 39:10No, but that's even how we structure our whole churches.
- 39:14You've got the pastor up here and then you've got the elders and you've got the deacons
- 39:18and then you've got the volunteers, but only these volunteers are the important volunteers.
- 39:22And then it's a show.
- 39:24It is oftentimes.
- 39:25And not only like the leaders of the church, but even people who go to church, it's about
- 39:31like what car are you driving?
- 39:32What are you wearing to church?
- 39:34How many sports are your kids in?
- 39:36How many kids do you have?
- 39:38Are you single?
- 39:39Are you married?
- 39:40Are you with someone?
- 39:41There's just so many ways to judge people.
- 39:44Well, as people, we love to be the most in power, the most influential.
- 39:52And unfortunately that seeps into our churches and we don't even, I don't want to say we
- 39:57don't realize that, we don't want to admit to it.
- 40:00I guess is better.
- 40:03So anyway, so she says that the reason that you'll see submit in pretty much every translation,
- 40:10not every translation, but a lot of them is because their translators are inferring it
- 40:15from the preceding verse, so 21, where Paul calls for mutual submission among all believers,
- 40:23meaning Christian brothers and sisters, etc.
- 40:28And then she says that the entire household code is introduced by a call to mutual submission.
- 40:36So submit slash commit yourselves to one another out of reverence to Christ.
- 40:40I just want to make it clear as a single woman.
- 40:43I have no problem submitting to Christ who died for my sins, who made it heaven available
- 40:50to me.
- 40:51I do not want to replace that submission directly to God when and if I get married to a human
- 40:58man.
- 41:01I don't.
- 41:03And unfortunately, this is like kind of off topic too, but like, I look at the different
- 41:08people that I've dated and I've dated both Christian men and non-Christian men.
- 41:14And I got more love and respect from the non-Christian people.
- 41:19How sad.
- 41:21Yeah.
- 41:22Because the Christian men that I've dated were interested in power.
- 41:28Whereas like the non-Christian guy that I dated, he just took my feelings into consideration
- 41:33way more than the Christian men ever have.
- 41:35Well, because I mean, you would hope and society at large, particularly from what I've heard
- 41:41in online dating can definitely be very like toxic masculinity stuff going on there.
- 41:48But at the same time, like the not crappy guys are now being taught, hey, respect women,
- 41:58hey, take their feelings into account, hey, be not a jerk.
- 42:02Women like humans.
- 42:04But then you contrast that with men in the church who are being taught that they need
- 42:10to be the leader.
- 42:12And dominant.
- 42:13Yeah.
- 42:14They need to take charge.
- 42:15They need to make all the decisions.
- 42:16And if they don't, they are not following God's plan for them.
- 42:21Right.
- 42:22Right.
- 42:23Which is a lot of pressure on them too.
- 42:25And even the ones that, and you know, we talked about people preaching this, but not living
- 42:31it maybe, and this is just totally me in my own head, so no research based at all.
- 42:38But maybe for men in that situation, the reason why they're preaching it is because if they
- 42:43don't, then they feel like they're not fulfilling God's plan for them.
- 42:49Right.
- 42:50Very true.
- 42:51And I think that's an important point to make too, is that we recognize that like men struggle
- 42:58with a lot of this stuff too.
- 43:00Sure.
- 43:01This is not, I mean the submission one is kind of female based, but dealing with persecution
- 43:10within the church, dealing with manipulation within the church, and the changing of God's
- 43:17word and things like that, this is not specific to women.
- 43:20That'd actually be a great idea to have Nathan come on the podcast one time, or your husband
- 43:26come on the podcast.
- 43:27We've said his name before.
- 43:29Because I don't know what men go through, I just know what me as a woman, what I go
- 43:36through.
- 43:37Well and it's super important to say, I don't understand your experience.
- 43:44I have not been there.
- 43:45Well even like someone who was listening to our podcast, her and her husband, he was saying
- 43:52I didn't know women were being taught that.
- 43:55I don't know what the men are being taught either.
- 43:57Exactly.
- 43:58Well we don't get to go to the men's conference.
- 43:59Well we're not invited.
- 44:00We don't get to go golfing and shooting andâ¦
- 44:04Have strippers on stage apparently.
- 44:06I was going to say taxidermy.
- 44:09I don't know.
- 44:11What do men do?
- 44:13So Brianna's idea of traditional man and womanhood, women embroider.
- 44:18Men do taxidermy.
- 44:21Is that not right?
- 44:22What?
- 44:23I found a book the other day at the book sale that was all about embroidery.
- 44:29I wanted toâ¦
- 44:30I think that would be a great podcast, just me reading that book.
- 44:33Yeah I think people would love that.
- 44:36Traditional womanhood.
- 44:37I don't think anyone's arguing that traditional womanhood means embroidery.
- 44:42I think that's just you.
- 44:45Women love to do that.
- 44:46No they don't.
- 44:47No one loves to embroider.
- 44:48Did you ever see Bride and Prejudice?
- 44:51They sit there and they're like why are we doing this?
- 44:56Because women embroider and they play piano and they doâ¦
- 44:58We're at 53 minutes and I've got more points to make.
- 45:00Not bad.
- 45:01So then she says in the B statements so that next block up on either side, ascending and
- 45:07descending, Paul links the husband is the head of the wife with a verse from Genesis
- 45:132.
- 45:15So that's where it says the man shall leave his father and mother shall leave his wife,
- 45:19etc.
- 45:20And she said that a lot of people, and rightfully so, would read the word head and interpret
- 45:29it as a metaphorical meaning for a leader or someone in authority or the person making
- 45:36the decision, the brains of the operation.
- 45:41But in ancient Greek, which of course is where this is coming from, the word head would rarely
- 45:50have meant that.
- 45:52Would rarely have meant authority.
- 45:55And she has a whole article on this and I would really love to do a whole episode on
- 46:00it's the Greek word is actually kafele for the Greek word for head.
- 46:06And she talks about this metaphor.
- 46:11But as a very basic explanation, it means unity.
- 46:16Oh!
- 46:17Unity.
- 46:18I've never heard it interpreted that way.
- 46:22Well, it's because we don't hear about it in context.
- 46:25No.
- 46:26And we're not taught to look into the original Greek.
- 46:30Not at all.
- 46:31Or the original translations at all.
- 46:35However, I would like to point out that our pastors as a rule who have been educated in
- 46:41this have studied the ancient Greek, have studied the ancient Hebrew, and they should
- 46:46know this crap and they should be able to inform you about it.
- 46:50The fact that the two of us are sitting here being the first ones to tell this to you is
- 46:57a little sad.
- 46:59Like I'm really glad that we can have this time with you and that you trust us to...
- 47:04You're welcome.
- 47:05...to talk about these things and hopefully make you laugh a little bit.
- 47:11But your pastor should be telling you this stuff.
- 47:14It shouldn't just be us.
- 47:15So demand better, I guess is what I'm saying.
- 47:19Demand better.
- 47:21So then she talks about how Paul uses the head-body metaphor previously also in Ephesians
- 47:271.
- 47:28Ephesians is a really interesting book.
- 47:30And she says that he uses it when he talks about how amazingly God has endowed the church.
- 47:36So the verses are Ephesians 1, 18 through 19, and then she moves on to verse 23 and it says,
- 47:41"...the riches of his glorious inheritance and his holy people and his incomparably great
- 47:46power for us who believe."
- 47:48And then we jump to verse 23 because it says, "...as his body, we the church are the fullness
- 47:53of him, Christ the head, who fills everything in every way."
- 47:59So again, we've got Christ in here.
- 48:01Look, he keeps bringing God in.
- 48:03What?
- 48:04In the Bible?
- 48:05In the Bible.
- 48:06It's shocking.
- 48:07I'm baffled.
- 48:09So he's using this in his illustration to husbands and wives to yet again say, hey,
- 48:16look, Christ took himself from the authority that he was given, brought himself to where
- 48:24we are.
- 48:25He is the three in one.
- 48:26He could be himself.
- 48:27That's true.
- 48:28To where we are and raised the church up.
- 48:32So we're just essentially like making the same point, but in a different, more poetic
- 48:36way.
- 48:37They say that if something is truly important, it's said about three times.
- 48:41Yeah.
- 48:42They also say if you're going to buy something online, you have to put it in front of someone
- 48:45like three to five times before they'll actually click purchase.
- 48:48I am telling you those shoes have been everywhere.
- 48:53They are like, you need to buy these shoes on Instagram, on Facebook and my dreams.
- 48:56Because they know.
- 48:57I know.
- 48:58They got me.
- 48:59You're going to buy them.
- 49:00I know.
- 49:01So one point I just do want to circle back to and I hope that I've made this clear, but
- 49:08we're not saying that like men are so superior to women that they have to lower themselves
- 49:12to our level.
- 49:13No.
- 49:14What we're saying is that in the Roman world, in the Greek world, men had so much more authority
- 49:20than women, so much more power than women.
- 49:23Yes, there were some women that were able to break free of that, but as a whole.
- 49:27Yeah.
- 49:28And we're reading this with our 2024 hats on.
- 49:32You got to think about this in ancient Roman or ancient Greek, whatever time.
- 49:37Right.
- 49:38So what's being asked of these men, of these husbands is take that authority that you have
- 49:46and toss it to the side.
- 49:47You don't need it anymore because God's your authority.
- 49:50Right.
- 49:51Because God's your authority.
- 49:52Yeah.
- 49:53Be different than the society that's around you.
- 49:56I think it's used, you hear that a lot arguing against Christian feminism to say like, well,
- 50:03we need to be different than society and society is so feminist.
- 50:06Well, yeah.
- 50:07Not the society back then.
- 50:09No.
- 50:10Paul calls us to be different than society.
- 50:13Absolutely.
- 50:14But he called us to be different than his society.
- 50:16Right.
- 50:17That he knew.
- 50:18Right.
- 50:19Not the society that we're sitting in.
- 50:20I think that's such an important point and if you want to rewind it, listen to it again.
- 50:26I think we've also made that point before.
- 50:29We have.
- 50:30Hey, if something's important, you say it more than once.
- 50:35So yeah, I think that this is a good, a good starting point.
- 50:39We've hit an hour at this point.
- 50:41You guys might be bored of us.
- 50:43Expect a part three because this is just something that we're super passionate about and that
- 50:47you think is really important.
- 50:49We've seen too many stories where women get told that this section of Ephesians means they
- 51:00have no authority.
- 51:01They have no brain of their own.
- 51:05Yeah.
- 51:07When God gave you and I both a brain.
- 51:09Yeah.
- 51:10Now I don't use mine very often.
- 51:15Or just this is, I think this is of critical importance to the future of the church.
- 51:22If we don't get this right, I don't know how we stand before God at the end and say,
- 51:28God, look what we did.
- 51:29Or I don't know how I can go on to tell like other people, yeah, you should definitely
- 51:35follow this church or follow this religion.
- 51:40So let's try again guys, as a church, as a community of believers, let's take another
- 51:47pass at what Paul is saying and really think it through.
- 51:56Really dig super deep, not just let's do a quick Google search and let's find the highest
- 52:01rated things because let me tell you, they're bad.
- 52:06But really dig in.
- 52:07It's really difficult to find quality research on this topic and I'm glad that we're able
- 52:13to share this with people.
- 52:15Yeah.
- 52:16So we will see you again in two weeks.
- 52:19However, we are super excited.
- 52:21We're going to start doing something a little bit new because we need to make this a priority
- 52:26in our lives and in yours.
- 52:29We are your priority.
- 52:33You need to hear our voices more often.
- 52:38We're a great time, okay guys?
- 52:41So on our off weeks, so right now we are, we post bi-weekly and we would love to get
- 52:47to a point where we are posting full episodes weekly, but we both have jobs and yeah.
- 52:54So that's just not practical for us right now.
- 52:56So what we are really excited to start doing is on our off weeks, we're going to do a mini
- 53:01episode and we're going to try and record those more kind of in real time so that we
- 53:08can talk about things that are happening right now.
- 53:12Hot button current events.
- 53:13Absolutely.
- 53:14For example, the Harrison Butker speech.
- 53:17Yes.
- 53:18I'm very passionate about that.
- 53:19We're going to record that, but probably tonight because we got to get ready to go.
- 53:24So that'll be a shorter episode.
- 53:26It's just going to be less research based and more just us chatting about what's going
- 53:30on in the world.
- 53:31We love it.
- 53:32We love to chat.
- 53:33I don't know what you're talking about.
- 53:34We haven't been talking for an hour.
- 53:35I'm a little sassy and she's maybe sassier?
- 53:41I don't think so.
- 53:44I just have no filter.
- 53:45You have no filter.
- 53:47That's true.
- 53:48We know.
- 53:50Mom is very upset by it.
- 53:52I know.
- 53:53Okay.
- 53:54So thank you guys so much for listening.
- 53:55Please follow us on our social media accounts at wearemore.podcast or we.r.more on TikTok.
- 54:04And we'll see you next week.
- 54:06We love you and good night.