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Transcript

Happy Hour #65: The Turtle and the Hare (SATC Ep. 9) · Stuff Mom Never Told You

0:05
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Andy and Samantha, and welcome to stuff
0:07
Speaker 1: I've never told your protection of iHeart Radio, and welcome
0:19
Speaker 1: to another episode of the beloved Sex in the City
0:23
Speaker 1: watch along with Sminty. Yeah, it's I think it's beloved.
0:27
Speaker 1: Now we've gotten enough responsors that they're like, keep it up,
0:30
Speaker 1: except for one person was like, no, stop it, but
0:33
Speaker 1: we're not gonna. But we're not gonna because we love it.
0:36
Speaker 1: So it's coming straight from my couch in our living room,
0:39
Speaker 1: my living room because we are together sipping on some
0:43
Speaker 1: delightful what I have called a BlackBerry moss cheers cheers
0:48
Speaker 1: because I don't have orange joese, but I do have blackberries.
0:52
Speaker 1: So I muddled it up with some lemon agave and
0:56
Speaker 1: then I added it at the bottom as a syrup,
0:59
Speaker 1: and then poured some champagne on it or prosecco specifically here,
1:04
Speaker 1: and then because I'm fancy, I added some blackberries and
1:08
Speaker 1: a pine berry, which I discovered is a thing which
1:12
Speaker 1: is a pineapple strawberry mix. Yes, well, we're gonna have
1:18
Speaker 1: to do some further research because we've tried them, we've
1:21
Speaker 1: expressed our thoughts about them together, but we don't really
1:24
Speaker 1: know what's what's going on? We don't know what the
1:27
Speaker 1: deal with the blind berries? Okay, yeah, that was my
1:30
Speaker 1: bad impression. You're welcome. Yes, I said, uh, this is
1:34
Speaker 1: gonna link to a Saver episode. Yeah, yeah, I hope, so,
1:37
Speaker 1: I hope, so I hope to look into this. Yes
1:39
Speaker 1: you should because it's interesting. But anyway, so cheers, cheers
1:43
Speaker 1: to our segment for Happy Hour where we watch Sex
1:46
Speaker 1: in the City, discuss and then discuss more. Yes, yes
1:51
Speaker 1: we do, and as always, drink responsibility you're choosing to
1:54
Speaker 1: do so, and if you're unaware, if you're somehow coming
1:58
Speaker 1: in on this on the ninth episode, which I believe
2:00
Speaker 1: we're on the ninth episode doing this. I have never
2:03
Speaker 1: seen Sex in the City the TV show, the original
2:06
Speaker 1: TV show, so this is my first time. Um, and
2:10
Speaker 1: we just have conversations about what comes up, reactions, thoughts, yes,
2:15
Speaker 1: and experiences based on what we see on Sex in
2:18
Speaker 1: the City, which is fairly relatable. However, before we start,
2:21
Speaker 1: because we love to do this, any can you give
2:23
Speaker 1: us a rundown of where we are? Yes, I feel
2:27
Speaker 1: like I always say the same thing, but many conversations
2:31
Speaker 1: have been had about single hood and marriage and dating
2:36
Speaker 1: twenty year olds and uh, the female body and being like,
2:43
Speaker 1: what's the word for that when someone is trying to
2:46
Speaker 1: hide your relationship to sex? Was the title secret Sex.
2:52
Speaker 1: We've been introduced to big, the big love interest for
2:55
Speaker 1: Carrie um Skipper, the kind of love interest for Miranda
3:00
Speaker 1: shown up a few times and really did did the
3:02
Speaker 1: last girl he was with? Thirty of my opinion? And yeah,
3:07
Speaker 1: and we've had a lot of conversations around anal sex
3:10
Speaker 1: and oral sex and discussions discussions around it. We've got
3:18
Speaker 1: we've got some good conversations. Uh. And as per usual,
3:21
Speaker 1: at the beginning, I tell any the title, I think
3:25
Speaker 1: you wanna have a hard time with this one, okay, Uh,
3:27
Speaker 1: And then we predict to see what she knows what
3:29
Speaker 1: this episode is about. And then I give our points
3:31
Speaker 1: based on no system that I just create perfect. Yes,
3:34
Speaker 1: here we go. So the title of this one is
3:36
Speaker 1: the Turtle and the Hair. Okay. So I think that
3:41
Speaker 1: this one would be a sort of a strategy question
3:46
Speaker 1: on is it better to like play hard to get
3:50
Speaker 1: and wait for the relationship and for the viewpoint of
3:54
Speaker 1: the mail And I'm assuming this very heterosis, uh, autonormatives
3:58
Speaker 1: this relationship or should you just go for it if
4:02
Speaker 1: you want it, just go for it, or do you
4:04
Speaker 1: strategize and like plant it out, go slow? Interesting, that
4:08
Speaker 1: sounds like I got zero. Okay, So we are going
4:11
Speaker 1: to start and we'll see episode nine Turtle and the Hair.
4:16
Speaker 1: Here we go. Was I the only one who remembered
4:33
Speaker 1: that Brooke once described this man as more boring than
4:36
Speaker 1: exposed brick. Oh? Yes, yes, more boring than exposed brick.
4:41
Speaker 1: So we're at this popular girl's wedding and it's a
4:43
Speaker 1: big affair. Oh, this is what I've talked about this
4:45
Speaker 1: line before because by the way, we're about to come
4:47
Speaker 1: up on but she is married to a not so
4:51
Speaker 1: typical handsome New York guy. He's kind of a bald,
4:56
Speaker 1: m goofy looking guy. I guess it seems boring. They
5:00
Speaker 1: looked like the witches of East Wikas. That was a
5:04
Speaker 1: line that's talking about. So we have the four ladies here,
5:06
Speaker 1: all dressed in blackwood, amazing feathers in her hair. I
5:11
Speaker 1: love that. I wore black to a wedding once and
5:14
Speaker 1: I got a lot of comments like are you going
5:17
Speaker 1: to a funeral? Or they thought I was a bartender
5:20
Speaker 1: and I got paid money. So that was something. Typically
5:23
Speaker 1: I always went black. Yeah, I mean, I don't see
5:26
Speaker 1: the problem. I think this dude is titled the Turtle.
5:37
Speaker 1: I think good investments, bad breath. Who was hitting on
5:41
Speaker 1: Samantha and she runs away? Your friend is gorgeous? What
5:46
Speaker 1: do I have to do to get to know where better? Now?
5:49
Speaker 1: That's a weird thing, too, is I have been to
5:51
Speaker 1: weddings where I've been hit on. It's I guess it
5:53
Speaker 1: puts people in the mood like I gotta find somebody.
5:56
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know if I've ever have I been
5:58
Speaker 1: hit on? The thing is I've gone two weddings with
6:01
Speaker 1: the friends who I pretty much knew the entirety of
6:04
Speaker 1: the crew. It's always better to marry someone who loves
6:11
Speaker 1: you more than you love them. Okay, it's always better
6:14
Speaker 1: to marry someone who loves you more than you love them.
6:18
Speaker 1: Of course, Carrie must put that in her article I
6:21
Speaker 1: Don't Want again. I wonder if she got permission. Although
6:24
Speaker 1: I feel the same way when I talk about my
6:25
Speaker 1: friends are like, what the hell are you doing? I
6:28
Speaker 1: think about that all the time, to question why do
6:32
Speaker 1: people get married if they're not. We've got some big
6:35
Speaker 1: I don't know, why do people get married if they're
6:38
Speaker 1: not in love annie political companionship. I think you feel
6:42
Speaker 1: pressure time pressure, Like I guess I'm not going to
6:45
Speaker 1: do any better money financially, I think I could see. Yeah, yeah,
6:50
Speaker 1: I think it can be kind of a economical judgment.
6:55
Speaker 1: I will say so, like I've been in a relationship
6:57
Speaker 1: for a little while, and at this age, at forty
7:02
Speaker 1: forty one, forty five, I don't know. I do question
7:05
Speaker 1: like should I want to be married? And I know
7:07
Speaker 1: I've talked about this before, and like feeling like I should,
7:10
Speaker 1: But at the same time, there's no desire in me
7:13
Speaker 1: to want to be married, And I feel like if
7:15
Speaker 1: I feel this way at forty one, why would I
7:18
Speaker 1: feel any differently later? So there's like a lot of
7:22
Speaker 1: conversation in my head, like why do we do it? Yeah? Yeah,
7:27
Speaker 1: And I think I told this story before, but I
7:29
Speaker 1: wanted to get married just for my like parents, and
7:35
Speaker 1: I was literally thinking, I'll just settle. What's wrong with settling?
7:37
Speaker 1: And then that makes me very sad. Now I was
7:41
Speaker 1: convinced I have to do it by this age, but
7:43
Speaker 1: also like that sucks for the other persons such a
7:46
Speaker 1: terrible like settle, because when you figure out, finally figure out,
7:49
Speaker 1: oh I didn't want to be married, I don't have
7:52
Speaker 1: to be married, and then it becomes a whole thing,
7:55
Speaker 1: because let's be honest, I definitely have family in my
7:57
Speaker 1: life who got married really young. I think that's what
8:00
Speaker 1: they wanted, had the fantasy wedding, and then five to
8:03
Speaker 1: ten years later they're like, what the hell did I do?
8:06
Speaker 1: We're completely different people, Which is the thing is like,
8:09
Speaker 1: if you can't grow together, you're gonna grow apart, obviously,
8:12
Speaker 1: and you're going to compromise. Um. And it's just a
8:16
Speaker 1: question about how much you're willing to compromise. Are you
8:18
Speaker 1: growing together or are you just tired and it's over
8:21
Speaker 1: or you know that's of course, this is putting this
8:23
Speaker 1: in a very like normative way in that we know
8:28
Speaker 1: there's bigger pictures and bigger we're not going to go
8:30
Speaker 1: into all of that that you need to get out,
8:32
Speaker 1: need to get out. It's toxic vibrators and send you
8:41
Speaker 1: flowers the next day and you cannot, Oh, this is it,
8:43
Speaker 1: This is it. So I'm so sorry all got excited
8:46
Speaker 1: because the women are at the table discussing about marriage
8:50
Speaker 1: and what it's building up to and Miranda is talking
8:53
Speaker 1: about her vibrator and how much she loves her vibrator
8:57
Speaker 1: and talking about having orgasms. Here we go. I'm so
9:02
Speaker 1: excited for this episode the Rabbit. We have the introduction
9:10
Speaker 1: of the Rabbit, which my gosh, y'all I bought into
9:14
Speaker 1: this too, and I think I was like fantastic three
9:16
Speaker 1: or four or five years late into this episode, I
9:18
Speaker 1: was like, does the rabbit exist still? And y'all it
9:21
Speaker 1: does and it's expensive. Yeah. They got a lot of
9:24
Speaker 1: publicity off of this. Pink for Girls is squeaks. Oh
9:29
Speaker 1: my god, I realized the five writers squeaked. I like
9:34
Speaker 1: how Charlotte got so excited, like, oh, it's pink for
9:36
Speaker 1: girls back at the Briar Patch. Wow, some of them
9:42
Speaker 1: can quite I don't think I would have been ready
9:46
Speaker 1: for that had I been able to afford it. I
9:48
Speaker 1: will never forget when I bought my first one and
9:51
Speaker 1: that guy that I bought it from like showed it
9:53
Speaker 1: to me to make like see it works, and I,
9:56
Speaker 1: like my face went nuclear red. I was so embarrassed.
10:00
Speaker 1: Got someone gave me my first one because I was
10:02
Speaker 1: so embarrassed, and then I started ordering them online. The
10:05
Speaker 1: best way to go for me, you know, for a
10:15
Speaker 1: longer life. Well, with breath like that, you're going to
10:18
Speaker 1: live a very long life alone. I killed the last
10:23
Speaker 1: one when I've talked to me like that. That is
10:25
Speaker 1: not funny. We talked about that. So she found him
10:30
Speaker 1: cute after he attempted a joke, and the joke is
10:33
Speaker 1: I killed the last woman that talked to me like that.
10:37
Speaker 1: Wait what I mean if we were watching a different
10:39
Speaker 1: show and he made watch Fresh last night, that's where
10:45
Speaker 1: she's coming in from. I think he's a cute little
10:56
Speaker 1: fixer rapper, sweetheart. He's a man, not a brown Stone.
11:00
Speaker 1: When I'm through with him, Okay, Grassy Mansion, Samantha and
11:06
Speaker 1: the turtle, So Samanica is gonna make up the turtle.
11:10
Speaker 1: Have you ever taken a man or taken a partner
11:13
Speaker 1: in general and tried to fix them like that aesthetically?
11:17
Speaker 1: Aesthetically no, but I've definitely wish for some things to
11:24
Speaker 1: be different and maybe made some comments. But no, you know,
11:29
Speaker 1: I think I was lucky that I had enough good
11:32
Speaker 1: friends who were like, don't go into a relationship trying
11:34
Speaker 1: to fix somebody as a still shortkir I don't abide
11:37
Speaker 1: with that. But okay, and I'm just playing. Just as
11:43
Speaker 1: I had reached the moment of no thought, I think
11:46
Speaker 1: I broke my batilla. Oh sorry, am I polling to
11:49
Speaker 1: metaphorical immy. You just says she broke her vagina with
11:52
Speaker 1: the rabbit. And they're stretching and I love that care.
11:55
Speaker 1: He's like, I'm sorry, I must stretching too hard. I'm
11:57
Speaker 1: stretching you too hard. Now she's like, I'll never have
12:02
Speaker 1: sex with the man. I've definitely made a boyfriend be like,
12:07
Speaker 1: I think you're vibrator. I think he was a little nervous. Yeah,
12:14
Speaker 1: it's got batteries, dude. Yeah. I mean like, I've had
12:17
Speaker 1: some who get nervous, but I've had partners who are like,
12:20
Speaker 1: let's add it, and I'm like, oh, you're back offident,
12:22
Speaker 1: let's go, let's go. I have hurt myself masturbating before.
12:30
Speaker 1: I believe that. I believe this for so many reasons.
12:34
Speaker 1: And I'm not going to talk about the many reasons.
12:36
Speaker 1: But maybe you should propose to me and we'll all
12:44
Speaker 1: live happily ever after you really do want it all.
12:47
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe nobody gets it all. Oh so,
12:50
Speaker 1: now they're trying to do a conversation. So Stanford's rich
12:54
Speaker 1: friend grandmother gives people money when they get married, which
12:57
Speaker 1: I've seen. This is the whole conversation I want to
12:59
Speaker 1: come back to because since we are not necessarily about marriage,
13:02
Speaker 1: and how many people have I given presents to to
13:05
Speaker 1: their wedding, to their marriage, spent money on all these
13:08
Speaker 1: things and I'm not gonna get that. I'm a little
13:11
Speaker 1: bit about this. We can have Samantha ceremony if I
13:16
Speaker 1: do buy a house, which I'm thinking about. Um, we're
13:20
Speaker 1: having a housewarman, y'all bring me presents like you're threatening me.
13:25
Speaker 1: I'm learning everyone list the listeners because I love you
13:29
Speaker 1: all too much. I'll give me enough to my friends
13:32
Speaker 1: that I know personally and have given gifts to. They
13:36
Speaker 1: best be bringing some good stuff. Very pointed, All right,
13:39
Speaker 1: and none of my friends listen to this. I'll pass
13:43
Speaker 1: on the message. But in that they're scheming now Stanford
13:48
Speaker 1: and carry and pretending to be married because Biggest saying
13:51
Speaker 1: that he's never wants to get married again because he
13:53
Speaker 1: got through a really rocky divorce. I'm really sorry, but
14:01
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to cancel and totally wiped out. Uh
14:06
Speaker 1: huh wiped out. That was Charlotte speak for I'm spending
14:10
Speaker 1: the night with my vibrator. Have you canceled plans for
14:13
Speaker 1: master beating? No, but I'm definitely like I've had it
14:19
Speaker 1: on my schedule of my head, I'm going to do
14:21
Speaker 1: it at this time. But I've never canceled plans. I
14:23
Speaker 1: might do it right before and be a little late.
14:27
Speaker 1: So here we go. We have an intervention trying to
14:31
Speaker 1: find the vibrator. Like a drug, you get the rabbit
14:35
Speaker 1: behind a stuffed rabbit, the rabbit behind the stuff rabbit.
14:39
Speaker 1: But she's never handling it. They're handling it all right.
14:42
Speaker 1: I know, I'm screaming. I'm so sorry. Why would you
14:44
Speaker 1: touch someone else's six toy? I would not ever, I
14:47
Speaker 1: would not know here yep. And they are so blase
14:52
Speaker 1: and touching it. And I know this is supposed to
14:56
Speaker 1: be TV, but literally, even if she did clean it,
15:00
Speaker 1: I would still not want to touch it. And also,
15:03
Speaker 1: there's like a way if you have to touch it,
15:05
Speaker 1: there's a way you could touch it less worse. Yeah,
15:10
Speaker 1: put it in the bag. I'm not touching it. So
15:14
Speaker 1: if she wants to cancel plans for the vibrator, let her,
15:17
Speaker 1: especially in early she's in early days, like eventually, you know,
15:21
Speaker 1: like anything she chooses, be wanting to choose to be married,
15:24
Speaker 1: like being focused so harshly on that and do cal
15:27
Speaker 1: plans for vibrator let her I'm okay with that. Oh wow,
15:38
Speaker 1: is this you not a bad looking gil? Don't you think?
15:43
Speaker 1: I love that? So the grandmother is talking about giving
15:46
Speaker 1: up her career who she knew? Couple of chanel, I
15:49
Speaker 1: got all these suits for children, and that's fine if
15:53
Speaker 1: she's happy for that. I think it's okay to settle
15:56
Speaker 1: if you're both on the same page of settling, right,
15:58
Speaker 1: Like if you if you're happy with that. Yeah, it
16:02
Speaker 1: just sounds so negative settling, right, it does. And that's
16:05
Speaker 1: the thing is, like, again, what is the compromise level
16:08
Speaker 1: to you? Um, my parents, I don't think they settled.
16:12
Speaker 1: They got pushed pretty quickly and they found happiness in that.
16:15
Speaker 1: And I think they truly are so happy. And my
16:19
Speaker 1: mother and my father love each other dearly. They really
16:21
Speaker 1: have a standard of marriage that I don't understand. It's
16:23
Speaker 1: not something I want, but they are truly happy. And
16:27
Speaker 1: it's such a different level though, such a like my
16:31
Speaker 1: mother wanted all these big things, but she chose this instead,
16:35
Speaker 1: so it's definitely a different thing. And then like here
16:39
Speaker 1: they're trying to settle for each other to get money,
16:42
Speaker 1: and the grandmother knows he's she calls him, I'm not
16:45
Speaker 1: saying this a fruit, And yes it's a derogatory Hell yeah,
16:48
Speaker 1: it does. But it's interesting, like how that kind of
16:52
Speaker 1: at least she acknowledges it. Yeah, and still loves them. Yeah. Look,
17:03
Speaker 1: I do want to get married someday. I mean maybe
17:06
Speaker 1: not today, but I just I don't want to. I
17:08
Speaker 1: can't date somebody that won't, you know, what's the point.
17:12
Speaker 1: So that's the other big question here. Is dating bad
17:16
Speaker 1: if there's not an end game? Right? That's another conversation again. Yeah,
17:21
Speaker 1: if you're on the same page, and I don't think
17:23
Speaker 1: that's a problem. And even sometimes like because that happened
17:27
Speaker 1: in my last relationship where we both were on the
17:29
Speaker 1: same page at first and then it changed, that's fine
17:32
Speaker 1: as long as you're open about it. It's strange because
17:37
Speaker 1: we've watched so many like Romance and Disney movies. You
17:41
Speaker 1: want everybody be the happiest they can be and find
17:43
Speaker 1: that person, find their one who loves yes, jeez. Yes,
17:50
Speaker 1: So it's weird to say like that there isn't that
17:53
Speaker 1: one thing you should be fighting for, that settling should
17:57
Speaker 1: be off the table. But the real is, I don't
18:03
Speaker 1: know how realistic that is for a lot of us, right. Well,
18:07
Speaker 1: that's the other part is like I'm talking about the
18:09
Speaker 1: fact that my relationship, we we've talked repeatedly and like
18:14
Speaker 1: I don't want this. Can we change our minds? Absolutely?
18:17
Speaker 1: Do we hold to the point that we can't and
18:20
Speaker 1: have the right to change our minds? Absolutely? But like
18:24
Speaker 1: the fact that I had to talk to him because
18:26
Speaker 1: we've been together first a few years now, and as
18:28
Speaker 1: I hit for it was like, I really don't want children,
18:30
Speaker 1: So you need to tell me now that's what you want,
18:32
Speaker 1: because that's what you want. That's beautiful. You're going to
18:35
Speaker 1: have to go find someone else. If I do want children,
18:39
Speaker 1: I want to adopt them. And then we've had to
18:41
Speaker 1: have that conversation too, like do you feel comfortable with this?
18:43
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah, and trying to make it very real
18:46
Speaker 1: because at one point in time, oh my god, I
18:49
Speaker 1: think it's like his parents brought up something and I
18:51
Speaker 1: was like, oh yeah, no, not happening, not happening, and
18:57
Speaker 1: there's nothing in my life. And as one of our
18:59
Speaker 1: listeners in an email after I had talked about you
19:03
Speaker 1: know whether or not all of a sudden sure that
19:05
Speaker 1: don't if you if you're not sure, don't it raise
19:09
Speaker 1: havoc on your body is really painful. So that's not
19:11
Speaker 1: worth it to you. Don't do it. And I'm like,
19:13
Speaker 1: thank you that that is such a realistic comment, Like
19:16
Speaker 1: that's the big things, Like people who have children, that's
19:19
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing. I love that for you, and I
19:21
Speaker 1: love other people's children. I've really I've taken care of them.
19:23
Speaker 1: I was a nanny, I was a defact worker, child
19:26
Speaker 1: abuse investigator. So I love children. But for me, I'm
19:30
Speaker 1: good without it. And so her comment was like, look,
19:32
Speaker 1: these are the realities of it, and do I love
19:35
Speaker 1: my kids, yes? Would I do some things different maybe,
19:39
Speaker 1: And you just need to think about that. I'm like,
19:41
Speaker 1: thank you. That is the realistic thing. Is like, even
19:43
Speaker 1: if you do have children, you can still say it
19:45
Speaker 1: was rough. It was rough. And for those who who
19:48
Speaker 1: can't have children, you know, that's a whole different conversation
19:51
Speaker 1: in itself. So please know that that is a beautiful thing.
19:55
Speaker 1: And I really understand why people go through so many things.
19:58
Speaker 1: We talked about that with uh seegacy and all of
20:02
Speaker 1: that and how it can be beautiful. We had another
20:04
Speaker 1: listener who is a surrogate for parents and how much
20:07
Speaker 1: he loves doing that because of the joy for the parents.
20:10
Speaker 1: And I've saying that a lot, but like, yeah, these
20:12
Speaker 1: are the choices that, these are the conversations off to
20:14
Speaker 1: be like, hey, for me, you're gonna have to figure
20:17
Speaker 1: this out for yourself if this is not what this is.
20:20
Speaker 1: Do we waste our emotions and time on this is
20:22
Speaker 1: this great for now? Yes, but are you going to
20:25
Speaker 1: be better later on? I don't want that for you
20:27
Speaker 1: or for me. Yeah. Yeah, And I think that for women,
20:33
Speaker 1: a lot of those things have been romanticized, like motherhood
20:36
Speaker 1: has in the perfect mother. We've talked about that a
20:38
Speaker 1: million times. But like also this finding your one true person,
20:42
Speaker 1: which again I've seen relationships that are beautiful and they're
20:45
Speaker 1: so happy and I love that, and I guess for
20:49
Speaker 1: me as an a sexual person, like my last long
20:51
Speaker 1: term relationship, I was happy and we kind of settled right,
20:56
Speaker 1: but I was happy, like it was like having a
20:58
Speaker 1: good friend around stuff with all the time. But he
21:00
Speaker 1: wasn't happy after a couple of years, and I'm not
21:02
Speaker 1: bitter about it. I thought we had a great time together.
21:05
Speaker 1: But it's just one of those things where again you've
21:07
Speaker 1: got to really have those conversations be on the same page.
21:11
Speaker 1: So yeah, for me, like, I don't it's complicated. I
21:16
Speaker 1: know people are probably gonna get mad, but because I settling,
21:19
Speaker 1: I don't think you should settle unless that's something you're
21:22
Speaker 1: okay with. And I know that sounds weird. That's the
21:24
Speaker 1: things like we don't know the inside of a relationship,
21:27
Speaker 1: and we know that people who have been able to
21:29
Speaker 1: have um relationship with transition, so and it's and it's changed.
21:34
Speaker 1: I know that when a gay couples who didn't who
21:37
Speaker 1: were out and get married because whatever societal pressure, but
21:41
Speaker 1: was able to remain in that marriage for their children
21:43
Speaker 1: but still have an open marriage to keep that thing
21:45
Speaker 1: and they're happy with that, that's amazing. That's an amazing
21:49
Speaker 1: level of communication that I'm like, that is, you know,
21:51
Speaker 1: like those in polyamige relationships. The level of communication and
21:55
Speaker 1: openness that they could have to have in order to
21:57
Speaker 1: be able to really just lay it out is BEAUTI full.
22:00
Speaker 1: So when it was like yeah, damn, that's impressive. I
22:03
Speaker 1: need to learn more about this because like, for I
22:06
Speaker 1: think the biggest conversation that we've always had is like communicating, communicating,
22:09
Speaker 1: communicating whether it's consent, but there's about children, or it's
22:12
Speaker 1: about marriage, but there's about relationships, but it's about it's
22:15
Speaker 1: not non relationships, Like that's that level. But all of
22:18
Speaker 1: that to say is like there are amazing things that
22:20
Speaker 1: we don't see that wouldn't be the fantasy level. And
22:25
Speaker 1: for some maybe settling, but for them it's not whether
22:27
Speaker 1: it is just companionship, like we've been together for so
22:30
Speaker 1: long and we love each other's company, we're not romantically link.
22:34
Speaker 1: We talked about that as the platonic marriage, and and
22:37
Speaker 1: like that's amazing. I'm like, maybe that's the thing that
22:39
Speaker 1: should be with everyone, Like yeah, yeah, you know what.
22:43
Speaker 1: I think you're right. I think settling is the wrong
22:46
Speaker 1: We should have another in the negative negative term, but actuality,
22:50
Speaker 1: what that looks like for us on the outside is
22:52
Speaker 1: completely different from the inside, right. I think we need
22:55
Speaker 1: to come up with a There needs to be another
22:57
Speaker 1: word for what we're talking about, because there is like
22:59
Speaker 1: the level of I have to get married. Society is
23:01
Speaker 1: telling they have to get married. I'm just gonna do this, right,
23:04
Speaker 1: that's no good. Um. But if I think there are
23:07
Speaker 1: other ways relationships can look outside of what we see
23:10
Speaker 1: in media all the time that we might yes on
23:13
Speaker 1: the outside think is settling, but to the people in
23:16
Speaker 1: the relationship is not so. I mean, we could have
23:18
Speaker 1: been that Stanford and Carrey decided to have a marriage,
23:22
Speaker 1: take the money, and then live their lives separately but together,
23:25
Speaker 1: and they may have been happy. That's okay. I don't
23:28
Speaker 1: see why that's wrong if they're happy and everybody outside
23:31
Speaker 1: of them are happy as long as they're on the
23:34
Speaker 1: they communicated and they're right, and they communicate with other
23:37
Speaker 1: partners outside of them, So we have informed consent. I
23:41
Speaker 1: mean that that's that level. Yeah, why can't be? And
23:44
Speaker 1: also everybody is of an age and again, consent, consent, consent.
23:49
Speaker 1: I don't think I said that in our consent episode
23:51
Speaker 1: when I was like, be happy, do you? But again,
23:55
Speaker 1: being under age is not consent. They cannot consent, right, Okay,
24:20
Speaker 1: Well what is my score, little baby? Zero? Zero zero zero,
24:25
Speaker 1: that's my first zero. I mean, but you know, you
24:28
Speaker 1: knew it was gonna be a zero because even though
24:32
Speaker 1: the settling bit. Getting married thing kind of was an aspect,
24:36
Speaker 1: but it wasn't necessarily that. Yeah that was that wasn't
24:40
Speaker 1: that wasn't that wasn't it. Sorry, I'm sorry, but the
24:42
Speaker 1: Turtle was a specific dude who they just needed a term,
24:47
Speaker 1: so they named him turtle essentially because the hair was
24:49
Speaker 1: obviously the vibrator. Yeah, oh, I got you. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
24:56
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'll accept it. All right, let's go for
24:59
Speaker 1: around ten. I have I have hopes for you'll please
25:06
Speaker 1: continue to sending those messages giving us your point of view,
25:09
Speaker 1: because you have given us some facts about the show
25:12
Speaker 1: that we didn't know. You'll have given us some insight
25:15
Speaker 1: that I didn't understand. So we need more of that
25:17
Speaker 1: because we love this and we love to hear from y'all.
25:20
Speaker 1: And yes, we are wanting to do some little bit
25:22
Speaker 1: of audience participation. Yeah yeah, come hang out with us
25:27
Speaker 1: and watch it. It's gonna be great. Um, So look
25:30
Speaker 1: out for updates about that, announcements about that, and as always, yes,
25:35
Speaker 1: we would love to hear from you. You can email
25:36
Speaker 1: us at Stuff Media Mom Stuff at I heart media
25:38
Speaker 1: dot com. You might us on Twitter at most of
25:40
Speaker 1: podcast or Instagram and stuff I never told you. Thanks,
25:42
Speaker 1: it's always your super producer Christina. Oh and she'll be
25:44
Speaker 1: on with us soon. Oh yes, Christina, watch out and
25:49
Speaker 1: thanks to you for listening. Solfone never told the subjection
25:51
Speaker 1: of I Heart Radio for more podcast when I Heart Radio,
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Speaker 1: vide I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast or where you
25:55
Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows