Latest / I Do, Part 2 / Who Slid Into DeAnna’s DM’s???

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Who Slid Into DeAnna’s DM’s??? · I Do, Part 2

0:00
Speaker 1: iHeart podcasts, bring you the ultimate Summer of love Tree.
0:04
Speaker 1: This is famously available, been here on famously Available, and
0:10
Speaker 1: as we wind up this year of twenty twenty five,
0:13
Speaker 1: I wanted to get our famously available women together to
0:17
Speaker 1: chat and reflect back on what this year has been
0:22
Speaker 1: for them. So ladies, take it away.
0:26
Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, Kathy here with Deanna and Mercedes and we
0:31
Speaker 2: are just here together to have some end of the
0:33
Speaker 2: year girl chat. How are you guys doing today.
0:36
Speaker 3: I'm feeling a little under the weather, but I'm talking
0:38
Speaker 3: to you guys, so it's a good day.
0:41
Speaker 4: I'm doing great. I just listened to the podcast yesterday
0:44
Speaker 4: with Mercedes and Bryce me too. I just like so happy.
0:48
Speaker 3: What'd you guys think?
0:50
Speaker 4: I listen, whether you fall madly in love and run
0:54
Speaker 4: off into the sunset or not. I thought it was
0:57
Speaker 4: a really great first date. And he's a nice guy.
1:00
Speaker 4: Is his episode. I just have mad respect for guys
1:05
Speaker 4: who can show up in that sense. I think it's
1:07
Speaker 4: a lot for all of us to come on here
1:09
Speaker 4: and go on blind dates and then talk about it,
1:11
Speaker 4: for everyone to listen and dissect and tear apart, but
1:14
Speaker 4: for him in particular to come on and date you
1:17
Speaker 4: and then be a part of the podcast and talk
1:19
Speaker 4: about it. And I don't know if you've listened yet, Mercedes,
1:21
Speaker 4: but he only had really wonderful things to say about you.
1:24
Speaker 4: Not shocking, not shocking because you're so great. But I
1:27
Speaker 4: just think that makes a stand up guy. He could
1:29
Speaker 4: have come on and been like, m she ignored me
1:31
Speaker 4: with all her friends and Lula lulit. No, he was
1:33
Speaker 4: a solid dude. He was like, she's gorgeous, she's wonderful.
1:36
Speaker 2: The date was great.
1:36
Speaker 4: I'd love to see her again. He just had really
1:38
Speaker 4: great things to say about you, and I have a
1:40
Speaker 4: lot of respect for that.
1:42
Speaker 2: I've got to echo that. I listened to the podcast, Mercedes,
1:45
Speaker 2: and I was even more adamant. Oh, she's got to
1:49
Speaker 2: give him a second date. She's got to give him
1:50
Speaker 2: a second champion. I really because he when he was
1:55
Speaker 2: talking about the date, and he was saying, you know,
1:58
Speaker 2: there were all these people she had like people, and
2:00
Speaker 2: I had no one. But I made it work. I
2:03
Speaker 2: thought he came across on the podcast a really positive
2:07
Speaker 2: person who's ready to engage to have fun. He thought
2:11
Speaker 2: you were beautiful. He said that if you were in
2:14
Speaker 2: La he would have already had another date with you.
2:17
Speaker 2: He just said, you check a lot of boxes. And
2:20
Speaker 2: I do agree that it's really hard to go on
2:22
Speaker 2: a first date at a concert with when you know
2:25
Speaker 2: no one and the girl you're having to date and
2:27
Speaker 2: knows everyone. I went such a.
2:33
Speaker 4: I'm with Kathy, I think you ought to give him
2:35
Speaker 4: a second chance, even if it's just like a quick drink,
2:37
Speaker 4: if he makes his way to Nashville, because it sounds
2:39
Speaker 4: like he's there quite a bit. Yeah, even if he
2:41
Speaker 4: just makes his way to Nashville and you guys meet
2:43
Speaker 4: for a drink, just to see without anybody else there,
2:46
Speaker 4: without any other noise, if there is anything there. Because
2:48
Speaker 4: I think he's a really great I think he's a
2:51
Speaker 4: really great guy, whether he's yours or not. But I
2:54
Speaker 4: believe that it is worth a second date to just see,
2:59
Speaker 4: to just see if there's any mystery there.
3:00
Speaker 2: Yeah.
3:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I agree. I definitely like the first day was.
3:05
Speaker 3: It was good, And it says a lot about his
3:07
Speaker 3: character and who he is that he could just like
3:09
Speaker 3: jump in and do whatever. Do you know, Like not
3:12
Speaker 3: a lot of people can do that, I will say.
3:14
Speaker 3: And we were actually texting the other day and I
3:16
Speaker 3: was like you know, distance is hard, and we both
3:19
Speaker 3: agreed that we were like kind of on the same
3:20
Speaker 3: page as like we were very aware that we live
3:23
Speaker 3: in different cities and like that's really really hard. But
3:26
Speaker 3: he was like, if we ever like find each other
3:28
Speaker 3: in if I'm in Nashville or you're in LA, like
3:30
Speaker 3: let's catch up.
3:30
Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, yeah, but let me let
3:32
Speaker 2: me just say that that sounds sort of fatalistic to me, Like, yeah,
3:35
Speaker 2: it's nice knowing you. You know, if I ever crossed
3:37
Speaker 2: your way again, I think you should be intentional with
3:40
Speaker 2: him about trying to set up a gate that you know,
3:45
Speaker 2: in the next let's just say month, surely you'll be
3:48
Speaker 2: in LA or he'll be in Nashville. And and like
3:51
Speaker 2: Deanna said, get together have a drink, because I really,
3:55
Speaker 2: I mean I only spoken briefly at the concert, and
3:59
Speaker 2: I did feel for him that you knew everyone, he
4:02
Speaker 2: knew no one, plus just chasing you both up and
4:04
Speaker 2: down from the bar and back up the suite again.
4:06
Speaker 2: So I didn't have a whole lot of time, but
4:09
Speaker 2: I really liked what I heard when he was talking
4:12
Speaker 2: to Ben. I really think I think you should do it.
4:14
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I need to I honestly haven't listened to it,
4:17
Speaker 3: so I need to listen to it and then. But no,
4:20
Speaker 3: he's a great guy at the end of the day,
4:22
Speaker 3: and I do think I should give him another date
4:25
Speaker 3: for sure.
4:26
Speaker 4: I think it's quite interesting given we're on the same
4:30
Speaker 4: podcast and we went on the same scenario for two days. Right,
4:34
Speaker 4: I had a different experience, And I think that's why
4:36
Speaker 4: I'm so advocating for you to have a second date,
4:39
Speaker 4: because my scenario was very different. Like the guy that
4:43
Speaker 4: I went on a date with, he really didn't engage
4:45
Speaker 4: with anybody else there. Right, Kathy was there, she knows.
4:49
Speaker 2: Are we talking about the guy at the concert, Deanna? Yeah,
4:52
Speaker 2: unbelievably different vibe.
4:54
Speaker 4: It's night and day my date to Mercedes date.
4:56
Speaker 2: Yeah. Bryce was really trying to get to talk to
4:58
Speaker 2: everyone and really trying to engage with all of us
5:01
Speaker 2: and make the best of a situation where, you know what,
5:04
Speaker 2: Dianna's state kind of stood there like a statue and
5:08
Speaker 2: just he didn't even try to engage.
5:10
Speaker 4: Like he was a placeholder. He was there, yes, you know,
5:13
Speaker 4: for for whatever reason he was, I don't know, maybe
5:15
Speaker 4: he's doing somebody a solid and just showing up so
5:17
Speaker 4: I actually had a date. That's what it felt like,
5:19
Speaker 4: do you know what I mean? Or like your date
5:22
Speaker 4: was actually engaging and genuinely interested in you, like that
5:28
Speaker 4: was seen across the room. So I just think that
5:31
Speaker 4: if we're comparing the two and it's not a point
5:34
Speaker 4: of comparison, that's not what I mean. I'm rooting for
5:36
Speaker 4: you to hopefully explore, to see if there is something
5:38
Speaker 4: else there. That's what I'm rooting for. Mine was clear
5:40
Speaker 4: as day that there was nothing there. He did not
5:42
Speaker 4: try to talk to anybody else in the suite, he
5:44
Speaker 4: didn't leave the suite, he left early. He didn't even
5:46
Speaker 4: ask my phone number, Like there was like it was
5:47
Speaker 4: like nothing on.
5:48
Speaker 2: A scale of one to ten, about a minus one.
5:52
Speaker 4: Really, Oh my god, he's a nice guy. There just
5:55
Speaker 4: wasn't anything there.
5:57
Speaker 2: I mean, there was no connection with yeah, Jna or
6:01
Speaker 2: frankly anyone else where Mercedes. I thought. Bryce really tried.
6:05
Speaker 2: I know, he chatted with me, and I did throw
6:08
Speaker 2: him for a loop though, when when I first met
6:10
Speaker 2: him and I said, so, what are you looking for?
6:13
Speaker 2: And he said, you know? And he said this on
6:15
Speaker 2: the on the podcast with Ben and his mother, He said,
6:18
Speaker 2: you know, I'm just looking for a beautiful woman. And
6:21
Speaker 2: then he said, but you know, beautiful looks different different people.
6:25
Speaker 2: I'm looking for someone who has he's intrinsic qualities. Like
6:28
Speaker 2: he he spoke very well about what beauty meant him.
6:32
Speaker 2: But when he said it to me, I thought, is
6:34
Speaker 2: he really like superficial saying I want a beautiful woman?
6:38
Speaker 4: He's not. I feel like there's so he's.
6:39
Speaker 2: Not a different what I'm saying. He has so much
6:41
Speaker 2: more depth.
6:42
Speaker 4: Yeah, for someone who has like been in like a
6:44
Speaker 4: spiritual growth journey and working on myself. I could see
6:47
Speaker 4: that through the things that he was saying. There's a
6:49
Speaker 4: part of it where he's still trying to look cool
6:50
Speaker 4: and attractive, Like I could see that, but there was
6:53
Speaker 4: also I could read between the lines that there is
6:55
Speaker 4: growth in the things that he had to say. And listen,
6:59
Speaker 4: y'all would all be lying if you weren't, like, we
7:01
Speaker 4: want some tall, dark and handsome to show up who's
7:03
Speaker 4: super freaking hot. Like, come, there's a piece of it
7:06
Speaker 4: where we're all really superficial. Of course, he went's a
7:08
Speaker 4: beautiful girl.
7:09
Speaker 2: Okay, So we have to be proud of ourselves. We
7:12
Speaker 2: have put ourselves out there. I went to two Christmas
7:14
Speaker 2: parties this past week, solo, literally solo, and this really
7:19
Speaker 2: good looking guy came up to me and I thought,
7:21
Speaker 2: thank you God, my Christmas is come early. And we
7:26
Speaker 2: were standing and he introduced himself and the minute up
7:29
Speaker 2: in his mouth. I hadn't been at this party forty
7:31
Speaker 2: five minutes and I had another one to go to.
7:33
Speaker 2: So I was honestly finishing my drink, getting ready to leave.
7:36
Speaker 2: And when I tell you drunk, he his tongue with
7:40
Speaker 2: two thick no oh no, and yeah. I just so
7:45
Speaker 2: literally forty five minutes in and he's he's drunk. He said,
7:49
Speaker 2: you know, I don't know anyone here. I'm here. It
7:51
Speaker 2: was from out of town there lies he I would say,
7:53
Speaker 2: he's in the sixties, so you.
7:55
Speaker 4: Know, you know enough to know better.
7:57
Speaker 2: You're appropriate for me and a really good looking guy,
7:59
Speaker 2: but so drunk. And so I said to him, uh,
8:02
Speaker 2: you know, he said, you're you know, you're beautiful. I
8:04
Speaker 2: mean it was bad. So I said, you know, I
8:07
Speaker 2: wish I hope you have a great holiday. I got
8:09
Speaker 2: to run out the door. Oh my god. But I
8:12
Speaker 2: was proud of myself that I did it. I went
8:14
Speaker 2: by myself and I went from there to the next party,
8:17
Speaker 2: which was a much younger crowd, uh, but still lots
8:21
Speaker 2: of fun. And you know, I put myself out there.
8:23
Speaker 2: That's that's what we got to do.
8:25
Speaker 4: That's really awesome, Kathy. You know, as someone who does
8:28
Speaker 4: not drink anymore, the drunkenness I cannot tolerate. I don't
8:31
Speaker 4: mind dating someone who drinks. That doesn't bother me, but
8:35
Speaker 4: I cannot tolerate like drunkenness, like slurring your words, not
8:39
Speaker 4: remembering it.
8:41
Speaker 2: Is never I don't care what you say drinking, you know,
8:44
Speaker 2: getting a buzz on whatever you want to call it,
8:46
Speaker 2: giving your confidence, all that stuff. Here's what I have
8:49
Speaker 2: seen people do. They get drunk and then they use
8:52
Speaker 2: alcohols and excuse for bad behavior, and it's never an
8:56
Speaker 2: excuse for bad pain.
8:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, or people will get like too drunks because they're nervous,
9:00
Speaker 3: and then it's just like you're ruining it for yourself
9:02
Speaker 3: right before you even talk to someone, Like get a
9:05
Speaker 3: good buzz, but like getting too drunk is like it's
9:08
Speaker 3: very good thing.
9:09
Speaker 4: Even when I did drink, I don't feel like I
9:11
Speaker 4: went on a first date and got too drunk. Do
9:14
Speaker 4: you know what I mean like I still wanted to
9:15
Speaker 4: be able to make sure I liked someone and to
9:17
Speaker 4: be able to read the room correctly, but even more
9:20
Speaker 4: so now that I don't drink. For me, it feels
9:22
Speaker 4: like a solid lesson, Like mind your p's and q's.
9:25
Speaker 4: We still want to show up and impress someone. Don't
9:28
Speaker 4: be sloppy on a first or second or third date.
9:30
Speaker 4: Don't be sloppy in general.
9:31
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna say, I think good rule of thumb
9:33
Speaker 2: is don't ever get slapped with alcohols. I mean, if
9:36
Speaker 2: you're with a bunch of girls on a girl's weekend,
9:38
Speaker 2: yeah great, but I'm dating Uh.
9:41
Speaker 4: No, No, it's just not cute. It's not a good look.
9:43
Speaker 4: Don't show up that way. Don't show up. I too
9:46
Speaker 4: went to a Christmas party, but I did not have
9:49
Speaker 4: the same experience Kathy. It was all women. I know,
9:54
Speaker 4: I didn't I know.
9:56
Speaker 2: But still that you know, I mean, honestly, I'm I'm
10:00
Speaker 2: going to give you kudos, Deanna, because I find it
10:03
Speaker 2: difficult sometimes to go out, even with a bunch of
10:06
Speaker 2: I was out with girls last night. Sometimes it's hard
10:08
Speaker 2: to get the clothes on, get the makeup on, to
10:11
Speaker 2: show up just because it's hard. Even if it's with girls.
10:15
Speaker 2: You know, there's lots of questions, what are you doing?
10:17
Speaker 2: Are you're dating? It's always the same kind of stuff,
10:19
Speaker 2: So I find that difficult as well. Sometimes.
10:22
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I think I've learned to show up in
10:35
Speaker 4: certain ways and it's so hard. And I know you
10:38
Speaker 4: both understand this having been on television and you know.
10:44
Speaker 4: Not to take it back to Bryce, but he said
10:46
Speaker 4: when I was listening to the conversation between you and
10:49
Speaker 4: Bryce and I was there, Mercedes, he made the comment of, like,
10:52
Speaker 4: you guys not going to know each other beforehand because
10:54
Speaker 4: you don't want to preconceived notion. And I feel that
10:57
Speaker 4: for myself. I have a really hard time going to
11:01
Speaker 4: parties or making new friends or dating in general because
11:04
Speaker 4: if they know who I am or they have Googled me,
11:08
Speaker 4: that is a turnoff because then they have a preconceived
11:10
Speaker 4: notion of who they think that I am. And my experience,
11:15
Speaker 4: I have found that people don't truly want to get
11:18
Speaker 4: to know me. They want to get to know that
11:19
Speaker 4: person that they saw on TV. They think they know
11:22
Speaker 4: that person, so they don't try to get to know me.
11:25
Speaker 4: They just think that they know this person and that's hard.
11:28
Speaker 4: Like in dating general, that feels really hard for me.
11:31
Speaker 3: I think that's my least favorite thing about dating like
11:33
Speaker 3: today is because social media is so in the center
11:38
Speaker 3: of our world and Google and all these things that
11:42
Speaker 3: like you and especially like you said us being on TV,
11:44
Speaker 3: we're really easy to find and before and I'm I
11:48
Speaker 3: do this too. I will say, like I am the
11:51
Speaker 3: type of girl before a date. I'm like looking at
11:53
Speaker 3: your social media, like you know, like I've definitely been
11:56
Speaker 3: that girl. So like going on blind dates. I think
11:58
Speaker 3: it's really cool because yeah, you're not able to do
12:00
Speaker 3: that and you have no you don't know.
12:03
Speaker 2: This person like you're literally just it's like, so here's something,
12:06
Speaker 2: here's something for you both to look forward to when
12:08
Speaker 2: you get to be my age. Men my age and
12:10
Speaker 2: really even five and ten years younger, they don't they're
12:13
Speaker 2: not on social media Facebook.
12:15
Speaker 4: Maybe that is so attractive to me. Nice, it is
12:18
Speaker 4: so attractive.
12:19
Speaker 2: It is. Uh, But to your point, Deanna, I've had
12:22
Speaker 2: a few guys that have found me through Facebook or whatever,
12:26
Speaker 2: or friends have set me up, but they have done
12:28
Speaker 2: the research once they know no, Yep.
12:31
Speaker 4: It's an itch for me, it's an inch for me.
12:33
Speaker 4: To for me for them to show up and say, oh,
12:38
Speaker 4: I know who you are. I watched your show however,
12:40
Speaker 4: long time, long ago. That's that's unattractive for me. When
12:44
Speaker 4: someone walks up and they're like, oh, I'm sorry, I
12:46
Speaker 4: didn't watch your show. I'm like, no, please, No.
12:49
Speaker 3: I love when people say that.
12:51
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so attractive to me. If you come up
12:53
Speaker 4: and you're like, oh no, no, no, I know you may
12:54
Speaker 4: sound this on Instagram, it's a hard pass for me.
12:57
Speaker 4: It is immediately a turn off. It's hard for me
12:59
Speaker 4: to move.
13:00
Speaker 2: All right, Wait, do you guys really be You said
13:03
Speaker 2: it's a turn off that they're checking out your social media,
13:06
Speaker 2: But would either of you really want a guy who
13:08
Speaker 2: has no social media?
13:10
Speaker 4: No, I want him to have social media so that
13:12
Speaker 4: I can go down the rabbit hole was I was
13:14
Speaker 4: messaging you guys last week because this guy reached out
13:17
Speaker 4: to me on Instagram and said that he listens to
13:19
Speaker 4: the podcast, and one of his friends told him that
13:23
Speaker 4: he should message me, and he messaged our producer Heather
13:25
Speaker 4: as well, well listen, I'm keeping my options open. So
13:29
Speaker 4: I immediately go to this guy's profile, but it's private,
13:31
Speaker 4: and I'm like, oh, who has a private profile these days,
13:34
Speaker 4: and I couldn't get a solid picture of him. So
13:36
Speaker 4: it allows me to be a little bit of a
13:38
Speaker 4: detective to try and find things out to see because
13:41
Speaker 4: there has to be some piece.
13:43
Speaker 2: Has he reached out to you yet?
13:45
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, we've had a full on conversation on Instagram.
13:48
Speaker 4: But I need like a wow, he doesn't even live here,
13:52
Speaker 4: you guys, he lives like in northern California. He doesn't
13:54
Speaker 4: even live here.
13:55
Speaker 2: Don't let distance get in your way.
13:58
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not letting it get in my way. But
14:00
Speaker 4: I am completely acknowledging that my free time is very minimum. Okay,
14:08
Speaker 4: so I have a set schedule with my kids. So
14:10
Speaker 4: say if I have a stretch of five days where
14:12
Speaker 4: I don't have the kids, am I really flying to
14:14
Speaker 4: northern California to spend.
14:15
Speaker 2: The hour with a guy said he's going to fly
14:17
Speaker 2: to you.
14:18
Speaker 4: He has kids too, that's the thing. So he has
14:20
Speaker 4: young kids too. So I just from the get go,
14:23
Speaker 4: before there is any attachment made or any feelings or
14:25
Speaker 4: anything that happens, I'm immediately like, uh, this is probably
14:28
Speaker 4: not going to work. He has his children are younger
14:31
Speaker 4: than mine. Just listen, I'm running this whole scenario out
14:34
Speaker 4: just from what I see on his social media. His
14:36
Speaker 4: children look to be younger than mine. But I immediately
14:39
Speaker 4: am like, well, it's probably not going to work. How
14:42
Speaker 4: much time could I truly invest?
14:44
Speaker 2: I will say I to be fair. When you have
14:48
Speaker 2: young children, Deanna and Anyonheen you're dating has young children,
14:51
Speaker 2: and you've got you know, divorce, You've got their dads
14:54
Speaker 2: or whatever it is, You've got the mechanics, it's complicated
14:58
Speaker 2: to set up to set up.
15:02
Speaker 4: Yeah, in a dream scenario, I'd love to find someone
15:04
Speaker 4: here in Los Angeles, you know, and given that that's
15:07
Speaker 4: long distance as it is, I mean, it could take
15:09
Speaker 4: me twenty minutes to get to someone's house for four hours, right,
15:11
Speaker 4: you know what I mean? I would ideally love to
15:14
Speaker 4: find someone here in Los Angeles so that it's like, hey,
15:17
Speaker 4: let's meet up on Thursday night and drive down and
15:19
Speaker 4: be able to sleep in my own bed at night
15:20
Speaker 4: and drive back.
15:21
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
15:21
Speaker 4: That would be an ideal scenario for me because I
15:23
Speaker 4: am not in a position realistically that if I met
15:26
Speaker 4: someone back home in Georgia, I'm not moving home for
15:30
Speaker 4: another ten years at least. Yeah, so what does that
15:33
Speaker 4: really look like?
15:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it is different. I really hadn't given
15:39
Speaker 2: that serious thought. It is true I have kids here,
15:43
Speaker 2: but I've made it very clear that I will move if.
15:46
Speaker 4: I but your children are older.
15:48
Speaker 2: That's right I'm saying. I'm saying that I absolutely give
15:52
Speaker 2: a lot of credence to that whole thought. Now that
15:55
Speaker 2: you have young kids, you can't just pack up and.
15:57
Speaker 4: I can't pack up and move and somebody else and
16:01
Speaker 4: he probably he can't, so it goes just it's back
16:04
Speaker 4: to the whole thing. Like I I it's a love
16:06
Speaker 4: hate relationship with social media. If they're posting shirtless, come
16:10
Speaker 4: get ready with me, that's an ick for me. But
16:12
Speaker 4: it's so it's so bad something where I can go
16:16
Speaker 4: down the rabbit hole to see if they're attractive or not.
16:19
Speaker 4: I enjoy that.
16:20
Speaker 3: I don't know.
16:21
Speaker 4: What do you think, Mercedes?
16:22
Speaker 3: I always say like a man with under a thousand
16:25
Speaker 3: followers is my type of man. Like with social media.
16:28
Speaker 3: You know, like they have social media. It's not like
16:30
Speaker 3: they're like against it, but they're not like they're not
16:34
Speaker 3: making it their life, do you know what I'm saying?
16:36
Speaker 3: Like they're not Again, the get readies with me, or
16:38
Speaker 3: like the gym shirtless picks.
16:40
Speaker 4: I'm like, look what's in my coffee?
16:41
Speaker 3: Yeah?
16:42
Speaker 4: Thank you? No?
16:43
Speaker 2: Thanks? Can I give you something to look forward to?
16:46
Speaker 3: Yes?
16:47
Speaker 2: When you? When the guys did are on social media
16:50
Speaker 2: that think it's really hot to post pictures themselves with
16:54
Speaker 2: baseball caps on backwards.
16:56
Speaker 4: I love that.
16:57
Speaker 2: Wait in bathrooms, any any combination of this scenario in bathrooms,
17:04
Speaker 2: shirtless sitting on the sofa with the beer, or a
17:07
Speaker 2: dead fish hanging from a hook on a boat. I
17:10
Speaker 2: mean it's all the same. It's like, really, you think
17:13
Speaker 2: that's attractive?
17:14
Speaker 3: No? Yeah, yeah, no, it's not my vibe. Again, a
17:17
Speaker 3: man was under a thousand followers. That doesn't make it
17:19
Speaker 3: his whole personality. That's that's the dream social media man.
17:24
Speaker 2: Yeah.
17:25
Speaker 4: I don't walk around with my phone out all the
17:27
Speaker 4: time trying to take pictures and videos of everything and
17:29
Speaker 4: putting it on social media. That's not who I am.
17:31
Speaker 4: So I for sure don't want to date a guy
17:33
Speaker 4: who is like that. I just can't have that be
17:35
Speaker 4: his pride.
17:35
Speaker 2: I think women do it more than men, though.
17:38
Speaker 3: For sure.
17:38
Speaker 2: Women just post more more more about their lives and
17:42
Speaker 2: what they're doing, and I think at least that's been
17:44
Speaker 2: my experience.
17:45
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I like that. I don't. I don't mind
17:48
Speaker 4: that as long as it's not the whole world, and
17:50
Speaker 4: there is something to say for guys who just make
17:53
Speaker 4: it like their entire it's their life, it's their livelihood.
17:57
Speaker 4: I don't want that. That's not the kind of life
17:58
Speaker 4: I want.
18:00
Speaker 3: Also, I will say one thing, and this is so me.
18:04
Speaker 3: If a man follows me and they like are on
18:06
Speaker 3: social media or whatever, I automatically go to who they follow,
18:11
Speaker 3: and if they are following like girl, girl gro girl, like,
18:16
Speaker 3: I just think it says so much about that person
18:18
Speaker 3: who they're following. And if it's a whole bunch of
18:20
Speaker 3: random girls, I'm like, yeah, I'm not following you back,
18:23
Speaker 3: like I'm just another girl in the book that you're
18:24
Speaker 3: just trying to you know. So I always pay attention
18:28
Speaker 3: to who they follow.
18:30
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm gonna have to make a note of that.
18:31
Speaker 4: I don't do very much like diving in Instagram, So
18:34
Speaker 4: I don't do very much well. We've talked about this
18:37
Speaker 4: before and I'm pretty sure I've said it to Kathy.
18:39
Speaker 4: People don't slide into my DMS. I don't know if
18:41
Speaker 4: that happens to you, Mercedes, But that doesn't happen to me.
18:44
Speaker 4: I get a lot of women who message me just
18:46
Speaker 4: say they followed me since the Bachelorette, or they listen
18:49
Speaker 4: to our podcast, or they like my mom tips or
18:52
Speaker 4: my freaking elf tips. These stupid elves leaving soon, thank goodness.
18:58
Speaker 4: But I don't get a lot of men who slide
19:00
Speaker 4: into my dms who are like, it doesn't happen. So
19:04
Speaker 4: this one guy, this one guy messaging me, I was like, okay, bold,
19:07
Speaker 4: I appreciate it. I at least appreciate it. But I
19:10
Speaker 4: don't that doesn't happen to me. I don't get people
19:12
Speaker 4: who slide into my dms and message me at all.
19:15
Speaker 4: So even just this this guy doing that, I was like, hey,
19:18
Speaker 4: this is bold. I really appreciate it. Like way to
19:21
Speaker 4: go I did. I told him that. I was like,
19:23
Speaker 4: I appreciate it, and then he sent me his phone number,
19:25
Speaker 4: and I was like, let's let's stile it back a bit.
19:27
Speaker 4: Let's just you know, slow down. I listened to way
19:29
Speaker 4: too many crime podcasts. I'm not trying to you know,
19:31
Speaker 4: so like, do.
19:32
Speaker 2: You know the solution to that? Wait, I'm going to
19:34
Speaker 2: be your mother here for a minute. I my kids
19:37
Speaker 2: gave me this idea. I wasn't that smart myself. I
19:40
Speaker 2: got a Google phone number and a Google phone number.
19:45
Speaker 2: I'm telling you I've turned more people onto this again.
19:48
Speaker 2: My kids have to get the credit to You cannot
19:52
Speaker 2: trace if you give someone your mobile phone. Believe me,
19:56
Speaker 2: they can find out your address, pretty much everything they
19:59
Speaker 2: want to know about you. But a Google phone number
20:01
Speaker 2: is untraceable. And I will tell you my sign of
20:06
Speaker 2: can I trust a guy when I give And I've
20:07
Speaker 2: had it happen twice where I gave him my Google
20:12
Speaker 2: number and it comes through as a random number. It's
20:16
Speaker 2: weird how they dealt. But when they dial you, they
20:19
Speaker 2: have to say who they are and then it rings
20:22
Speaker 2: and you can accept or deny the call. I've had
20:25
Speaker 2: two guys say to me, why are you doing that?
20:28
Speaker 2: I said, because I'm concerned about safety and I don't
20:31
Speaker 2: know you. And if they take that badly, if they
20:34
Speaker 2: don't like that. Out most men that when I've talked
20:39
Speaker 2: to them, they're like, oh my god, that's so smart.
20:41
Speaker 2: I'm glad that you care about your safety. So that's
20:44
Speaker 2: what I do. And then they you know, so that's
20:46
Speaker 2: something you might try, or you can also do calls
20:49
Speaker 2: through Instagram, Facebook. I don't know if those are traceable though,
20:52
Speaker 2: I just don't.
20:53
Speaker 4: I don't know either, but that's a really good tip.
20:54
Speaker 4: Thank you for telling me that, because I'm not tech savvy.
20:57
Speaker 4: And I also have this dream that I'm going to
20:59
Speaker 4: walk in the Whole Foods and be perusing the asparagus
21:02
Speaker 4: and be blown off my socks. You know what I mean.
21:05
Speaker 4: That's I'm dreaming that I'm going to meet some man
21:08
Speaker 4: in the wild and I was in the airport.
21:10
Speaker 2: He's not going to be in the asparagus isle. The
21:12
Speaker 2: guy that, you know, the hot, the cool dude is
21:15
Speaker 2: gonna be I know. But the hot cool dudes are
21:17
Speaker 2: going to be in the side of B file. You know,
21:19
Speaker 2: they're gonna be in the Ribbi steak section.
21:23
Speaker 3: Yes, I always think I'm gonna My dream is like
21:26
Speaker 3: in an airport. I'm like, so every time I'm at
21:28
Speaker 3: the airport, I'm like fantasizing my life. I'm like, oh,
21:30
Speaker 3: when's my husband?
21:30
Speaker 2: Good?
21:31
Speaker 4: I did get hit on in an airport once. I did.
21:33
Speaker 4: Love that I did, and again I was like bold
21:37
Speaker 4: and me he was I call him a kid. He
21:38
Speaker 4: was like I don't know. This was like when I
21:40
Speaker 4: first got divorced. So I was like, oh my god,
21:42
Speaker 4: I'm so got hot mom vibes. But he was like,
21:46
Speaker 4: I don't know. He must have been twelve or thirteen
21:49
Speaker 4: years younger than me. And he was on my flight,
21:52
Speaker 4: like he sat like two rows back, and I obviously
21:54
Speaker 4: was eyeballing him, but I was with my kids, so
21:57
Speaker 4: it was not on the forefront of my mind. And
21:59
Speaker 4: we had been on the same connection flights and ultimately,
22:02
Speaker 4: in the last airport he did, he totally came running
22:05
Speaker 4: over and was like, Hey, I'm gonna shoot my shot, Like,
22:07
Speaker 4: here's my phone number. I think you're hot. I'd love
22:10
Speaker 4: to I'd love.
22:10
Speaker 2: To talk to you, and he did.
22:15
Speaker 3: I love that.
22:16
Speaker 4: He was so attractive to me. It ultimately didn't go anywhere,
22:19
Speaker 4: and he lives like twenty minutes from me. We ended
22:21
Speaker 4: up seeing each other a couple of times and kept
22:23
Speaker 4: in touch. But it just the age difference. To you, guys,
22:25
Speaker 4: I just cannot Our lives are so different. But for me,
22:29
Speaker 4: those bold moves like speak wonders like shoot your shot?
22:34
Speaker 2: Why not? So here's something We're coming to the close
22:47
Speaker 2: of the year. Everyone we've been shooting our shots all year,
22:51
Speaker 2: but I want to know or trying to shoot our stats.
22:54
Speaker 2: I want to know it's not working, it's not working.
22:58
Speaker 2: But what is one word that you would use to
23:02
Speaker 2: describe your twenty twenty five.
23:06
Speaker 4: I'm going to go with rebirth. I've had it's a
23:09
Speaker 4: good one, such a tough year with the headlines to
23:14
Speaker 4: prove it that, I just am ready to be like,
23:18
Speaker 4: wash me clean, make me new, wash me clean, and
23:21
Speaker 4: make me new. I want to put all of that
23:23
Speaker 4: stuff to to rest and I am ready to just
23:28
Speaker 4: like live my best life and not be followed by
23:33
Speaker 4: the grips of my past and my divorce.
23:35
Speaker 2: Oh I love that.
23:37
Speaker 3: I love that too.
23:38
Speaker 2: That's a. That's a I'm going to blow a candle
23:40
Speaker 2: out make a wish for that for you too, Deanna.
23:43
Speaker 2: What about you, Mercedes?
23:45
Speaker 3: I feel like transformative. I feel like it's a good
23:49
Speaker 3: word for me. I feel like I've really in my
23:53
Speaker 3: year of being twenty seven, twenty twenty five, I feel
23:56
Speaker 3: like I've really just like been okay with just being me,
24:01
Speaker 3: and so because of that, my standards have raised. I
24:04
Speaker 3: can say like, no, this is what I believe, and
24:07
Speaker 3: I have to feel like I have to over explain
24:09
Speaker 3: myself to people. So I feel like I've just yeah,
24:12
Speaker 3: I feel like I've really just been I've transformed into
24:15
Speaker 3: my own self and I'm finally like, this is me
24:18
Speaker 3: and if you don't like it, then see it, you know.
24:21
Speaker 4: So that's huge, such a good place to be in.
24:24
Speaker 4: I'm not apologetically you, especially your age.
24:27
Speaker 2: I mean, most people take they're older when they come
24:30
Speaker 2: to that conclusion that I am who I am, take
24:33
Speaker 2: me or leave me. I'm not everyone's cup of tea,
24:34
Speaker 2: all those things that we hear. That's amazing. Yah you Mercedes.
24:38
Speaker 4: Yeah, Kathy, I is just going to say the same
24:40
Speaker 4: thing like it took me years Mercedes to get to
24:43
Speaker 4: that point. I was still people pleasing at your age.
24:45
Speaker 4: So I think that's that's so awesome. I am so
24:48
Speaker 4: so proud of you.
24:49
Speaker 3: Thank you.
24:50
Speaker 2: My word is nothing compared to you, guys. My word
24:53
Speaker 2: is grateful.
24:56
Speaker 4: That's wonderful one though.
24:57
Speaker 2: Well, it's it's how I am. Just I'm so grateful
25:02
Speaker 2: for my health, for all of you, truly, for the
25:05
Speaker 2: whole iHeart Bachelor, the whole community, the wonderful people I've met,
25:11
Speaker 2: my kids, my grandkids. I mean, I know that we're
25:14
Speaker 2: supposed to be grateful. But every day I wake up
25:19
Speaker 2: and I try to find one thing to start the
25:22
Speaker 2: day off, something I'm grateful about the first thing that
25:24
Speaker 2: I can, you know, come up with. But I think
25:28
Speaker 2: we just, at least for me, I've gotten into this
25:30
Speaker 2: habit of until this year thinking Okay, this is this
25:36
Speaker 2: is just what's supposed to happen. And this year I
25:38
Speaker 2: really realized no intentionally thanking God and being grateful for
25:44
Speaker 2: all the blessings in my life.
25:46
Speaker 4: Mm hmm, that's so beautiful.
25:48
Speaker 3: I love that.
25:48
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that. I love nothing more than to
25:51
Speaker 4: have like a full and grieful heart. And I make
25:54
Speaker 4: them I'm such a mom. But like I was going
25:56
Speaker 4: to say, I make my kids do that. When I
25:58
Speaker 4: pick them up from school, I'm like, hey, how your day,
26:00
Speaker 4: and like good, And I'm like, m you got to
26:02
Speaker 4: tell me something good, you know what I mean? We
26:04
Speaker 4: practice a rose and a thorn. They get to tell
26:06
Speaker 4: me something good.
26:08
Speaker 2: My son does highs and loves at dinner every time.
26:12
Speaker 2: I love that.
26:13
Speaker 4: Yeah, we do a rose and a thorn and then
26:15
Speaker 4: every once in a while they throw in a bud
26:17
Speaker 4: which is something that they're looking forward to. Yeah, And
26:20
Speaker 4: it's a good practice, right, because I think that in general,
26:23
Speaker 4: we have to be taught those things. You know, I
26:26
Speaker 4: don't believe that we're born with all of these gifts communication.
26:29
Speaker 4: That is a learned skill. To have a full grateful heart.
26:34
Speaker 4: I think that is a learned skill. Like I am
26:36
Speaker 4: a glass half empty person. I think that's who I
26:40
Speaker 4: naturally am. So I have to wake up and make
26:42
Speaker 4: a point to be like, oh, yeah, look at this
26:43
Speaker 4: like I have, I have a roof over my head,
26:45
Speaker 4: I can pay my bills.
26:46
Speaker 2: To me, Deana, you do not give up that vibe
26:49
Speaker 2: at all.
26:51
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would agree not to make.
26:53
Speaker 2: You come of as a beautiful, assured somebody who's working
26:57
Speaker 2: hard on herself to build a strong family, who loves
27:00
Speaker 2: her kids. Quite to the opposite, I look at you
27:03
Speaker 2: as someone who's class more than half full. I mean,
27:06
Speaker 2: not him.
27:07
Speaker 4: Thanks, Kathy. I'm grateful you guys got to meet me
27:09
Speaker 4: this year. No, I just you know, I just don't
27:13
Speaker 4: believe that I was always that way, and.
27:16
Speaker 2: I am thank you for saying that progress.
27:18
Speaker 4: That's exactly right. I love that, Kathy grateful. That's really
27:22
Speaker 4: really awesome to be grateful for, And like.
27:25
Speaker 3: I feel like whenever I am like when I'm because
27:28
Speaker 3: I go through seasons, right, Like, there's some seasons where
27:30
Speaker 3: I'm like so grateful, I'm always grateful, but there's some
27:33
Speaker 3: seasons where like I do maybe get down the dumps
27:35
Speaker 3: about things. But when I am like grateful and make
27:38
Speaker 3: myself like Kathy said, every morning, like being like thank
27:41
Speaker 3: God for this, like thank you for everything, it actually
27:45
Speaker 3: changes everything about your life. It is insane when you
27:48
Speaker 3: are truly, truly, truly grateful, how many good things come
27:51
Speaker 3: into your life as.
27:52
Speaker 2: Well, and you're looking for them, you see them and
27:55
Speaker 2: it doesn't have to be a big thing. I was grateful.
27:58
Speaker 2: You're gonna laugh. I had a doctor's this morning. I
28:00
Speaker 2: was like, am I going to get back in time?
28:02
Speaker 2: All literally the traffic lights were green, the doctor was early.
28:06
Speaker 2: I literally said the whole way, thank you for those
28:09
Speaker 2: green lights. God, thank you for getting me. I mean,
28:12
Speaker 2: and I just like my day it started out great
28:14
Speaker 2: because I got green lights.
28:15
Speaker 4: You know, Yes, you're a fucking catch, Kathy, you two Mercedes.
28:19
Speaker 4: I do the same thing when I joked around with
28:21
Speaker 4: you guys that when I got up, I get up
28:22
Speaker 4: extra early because I need to get my mind right
28:24
Speaker 4: before with anybody else. And that's the first thing I do.
28:27
Speaker 4: I wake up and I pray and I meditate. I've
28:29
Speaker 4: got to get my mind right. I've I've got to
28:31
Speaker 4: put myself in the right position to show up for
28:33
Speaker 4: anyone else who has to be around me, which.
28:36
Speaker 2: Is why your glasses half full, because you do.
28:38
Speaker 1: Thanks been jumping back in here. This has been such
28:41
Speaker 1: a great conversation. You've all been so vulnerable during this pod,
28:46
Speaker 1: which is great. We've got more to chat about with
28:49
Speaker 1: these women to come. Bubb will end here for now.
28:53
Speaker 1: I've been ben