Latest / The Iconic Midlife with Roxy Manning / The New Female Desire Playbook: Intimacy, Identity & Power After 40

Transcript

The New Female Desire Playbook: Intimacy, Identity & Power After 40 · The Iconic Midlife with Roxy Manning

0:00
But
0:00
don't
0:00
be
0:00
shy
0:01
about
0:01
a
0:02
pat
0:02
on
0:02
the
0:02
bottom
0:02
or
0:02
a
0:03
rub
0:03
on
0:03
the
0:03
back
0:03
or
0:04
a
0:04
holding
0:04
hands
0:05
or
0:05
sitting
0:05
next
0:06
to
0:06
the.
0:06
Intimacy
0:07
has
0:07
to
0:08
be
0:08
there
0:08
and
0:09
be.
0:09
Alive
0:10
because
0:10
our
0:11
bodies
0:11
are
0:11
changing
0:11
so
0:12
much,
0:12
like
0:12
physically,
0:13
just
0:13
the
0:13
appearance
0:14
that
0:15
also
0:15
becomes
0:15
such
0:15
a
0:16
mental
0:16
block
0:16
with
0:16
sex.
0:17
Fantasy
0:18
can
0:18
also
0:19
be
0:19
an
0:20
important
0:20
tool
0:20
for
0:21
midlife
0:21
women
0:22
to
0:22
use
0:23
when
0:24
they
0:24
are
0:24
in
0:25
the
0:25
midst
0:25
or
0:25
trying
0:26
to
0:27
focus
0:28
to
0:28
get
0:28
to
0:28
orgasm.
0:29
Because
0:29
I
0:29
do
0:30
feel
0:30
bad
0:30
for
0:31
the
0:31
men
0:31
in
0:31
our
0:31
lives
0:32
if
0:32
we
0:32
don't
0:32
know
0:32
how
0:32
to
0:33
navigate.
0:33
Like,
0:33
how
0:34
can
0:34
they
0:34
know?
0:35
I
0:35
don't
0:35
want
0:35
to
0:35
speak
0:36
for
0:36
all
0:36
women,
0:36
but
0:37
we
0:37
don't
0:37
want
0:37
to
0:38
be
0:38
feared.
0:40
We
0:40
want
0:40
to
0:40
find
0:41
our
0:41
voice
0:42
and
0:42
say,
0:43
this
0:43
is
0:43
what's
0:43
important
0:44
to
0:44
me.
0:44
There's
0:45
a
0:45
lot
0:45
of
0:45
shame
0:46
and
0:46
even
0:46
resentment
0:48
when
0:48
your
0:48
libido
0:49
doesn't
0:49
match
0:49
your
0:50
partner's
0:50
libido.
0:51
For
0:51
women,
0:52
I
0:52
think
0:52
this
0:52
is
0:52
true
0:53
psychologists.
0:53
Emotional
0:55
closeness
0:55
leads
0:56
to
0:56
sexual
0:57
closeness.
0:58
You
0:59
have
0:59
emotional
0:59
intimacy
1:00
leads
1:00
to
1:00
sexual
1:01
intimacy.
1:01
For
1:02
men,
1:02
I
1:02
think
1:02
it's
1:03
the
1:03
other
1:03
way
1:03
around.
1:04
Yeah.
1:04
Physical
1:05
intimacy
1:05
leads
1:06
to
1:06
emotional
1:07
intimacy.
1:08
You
1:08
take
1:08
something
1:08
just
1:09
as
1:09
simple
1:09
as
1:10
couples
1:11
counseling.
1:11
That
1:12
is
1:12
the
1:12
type
1:13
of
1:13
counseling
1:13
that
1:14
gets
1:14
the
1:14
most
1:15
results
1:15
the
1:15
quickest.
1:20
Okay,
1:21
so,
1:21
so
1:22
let
1:22
me
1:22
just
1:22
say
1:22
this.
1:23
If
1:23
you're
1:23
in
1:23
midlife,
1:24
in
1:24
a
1:24
long
1:24
term
1:25
relationship,
1:26
wondering
1:26
what
1:27
happened
1:27
to
1:27
your
1:27
sex
1:28
drive,
1:28
or
1:29
trying
1:29
to
1:29
keep
1:29
connection
1:30
alive
1:30
while
1:30
juggling
1:31
a
1:31
million
1:31
things,
1:32
this
1:32
episode
1:33
is
1:33
for
1:34
you.
1:34
Today
1:35
I'm
1:35
joined
1:35
by
1:36
a
1:36
couple
1:36
who
1:37
not
1:37
only
1:37
live
1:38
together,
1:38
love
1:39
together
1:39
and
1:40
work
1:40
together,
1:41
but
1:41
also
1:41
talk
1:41
publicly
1:42
about
1:43
all
1:43
the
1:43
things
1:44
most
1:44
people
1:44
avoid
1:45
in
1:45
private.
1:46
Dr.
1:46
Kate
1:47
White
1:47
is
1:47
a
1:47
nationally
1:48
recognized
1:48
OBGYN
1:50
author
1:50
and
1:51
unapologetic
1:52
advocate
1:52
for
1:52
women's
1:53
sexual
1:53
health.
1:54
Jay
1:55
White
1:55
is
1:55
a
1:55
licensed
1:56
marriage
1:56
and
1:57
family
1:57
therapist
1:58
who
1:58
helps
1:59
couples
1:59
navigate
1:59
the
2:00
real
2:00
stuff.
2:01
Resentment,
2:01
disconnection,
2:02
intimacy
2:03
and
2:03
communication.
2:04
Together
2:05
they
2:05
host
2:05
the
2:05
podcast
2:06
Heads
2:06
and
2:06
Tails
2:07
where
2:07
no
2:07
topic
2:08
is
2:08
off
2:08
limits.
2:09
From
2:09
fantasies
2:10
and
2:10
mismatched
2:11
libidos
2:11
to
2:11
the
2:11
truth
2:12
about
2:12
what
2:13
happens
2:13
behind
2:14
closed
2:14
doors
2:15
in
2:15
long
2:15
term
2:15
partnerships.
2:17
We're
2:17
talking
2:17
sex
2:17
and
2:18
midlife
2:19
emotional
2:19
labor.
2:20
Bodies
2:20
that
2:20
are
2:21
changing,
2:21
desires
2:22
that
2:22
are
2:22
evolving,
2:22
and
2:23
how
2:23
to
2:23
reclaim
2:24
intimacy
2:25
on
2:25
your
2:25
own
2:25
terms.
2:26
This
2:26
one's
2:27
bold,
2:27
raw
2:27
and
2:27
real.
2:28
And
2:28
if
2:28
you're
2:28
listening
2:29
with
2:29
earbuds
2:29
in,
2:30
you
2:30
might
2:30
want
2:31
to
2:31
turn
2:31
the
2:31
volume
2:31
down
2:32
just
2:32
a
2:32
little.
2:33
If
2:33
you're
2:33
in
2:33
the
2:34
carpool
2:34
aid,
2:35
let's
2:35
get
2:36
into
2:36
it.
2:37
Welcome
2:38
Jay
2:39
and
2:39
Kate
2:39
to
2:39
the
2:39
iconic
2:40
midlife.
2:40
I'm
2:41
so
2:41
excited
2:41
to
2:42
have
2:42
you
2:42
guys
2:42
today.
2:43
How
2:44
are
2:44
you
2:44
doing?
2:45
We're
2:45
doing
2:45
great.
2:46
It's
2:46
so
2:46
nice
2:47
to
2:47
have
2:47
be
2:47
on
2:47
here
2:48
with
2:49
you
2:49
and
2:49
talk
2:49
about
2:50
all
2:50
things
2:51
menopause,
2:51
perimenopause
2:52
relationships,
2:54
sex
2:55
and
2:55
hormones
2:56
and
2:56
all
2:56
those
2:57
things.
2:57
Yes.
2:58
Oh,
2:58
my
2:58
God.
2:58
It's,
2:58
like,
2:58
never
2:59
ending.
2:59
I
2:59
feel
2:59
like
2:59
we
3:00
step
3:00
into
3:00
midlife,
3:00
and
3:01
we're
3:01
kind
3:01
of
3:01
like,
3:02
where's
3:02
the
3:02
roadmap?
3:03
Like,
3:03
where
3:03
are
3:03
we
3:03
going?
3:04
Like,
3:04
are
3:04
we
3:04
jumping
3:05
off
3:05
here
3:05
at
3:05
this
3:06
exit?
3:06
Are
3:06
we.
3:06
Are
3:06
we
3:07
continuing
3:07
on
3:07
the
3:08
freeway?
3:08
Like,
3:09
it
3:09
is
3:09
just
3:10
this,
3:11
like,
3:12
tornado
3:13
of
3:13
things
3:14
that
3:14
happen.
3:14
Almost
3:15
feels
3:15
like
3:15
all
3:16
at
3:16
once,
3:17
Mario.
3:18
Kart,
3:18
where
3:19
the
3:19
things
3:19
will
3:19
get.
3:20
Oh,
3:20
you're
3:20
trying
3:20
not
3:21
to
3:21
get
3:21
hit
3:21
by
3:21
people
3:22
throwing.
3:22
Yes.
3:23
You're,
3:23
like,
3:23
driving
3:24
along
3:24
and
3:24
it's
3:24
all
3:24
good,
3:25
and
3:25
all
3:25
of
3:25
a
3:25
sudden,
3:25
we're
3:26
like
3:26
a
3:26
banana
3:27
comes
3:27
out
3:27
at
3:27
you.
3:28
Right,
3:28
right,
3:29
right.
3:29
And.
3:29
And
3:29
you
3:29
don't
3:30
know,
3:30
with
3:31
menopause,
3:31
perimenopause,
3:32
different
3:32
things.
3:32
Like,
3:33
you.
3:33
You
3:33
don't
3:34
know
3:34
if
3:35
it's
3:35
coming
3:35
from
3:36
the
3:36
problems
3:36
coming
3:37
from
3:37
within
3:37
side
3:38
you
3:38
or.
3:39
Or
3:39
from
3:39
life
3:40
itself
3:41
throwing.
3:41
Throwing
3:41
something
3:42
at
3:42
you.
3:42
So.
3:43
Right.
3:43
I
3:43
do
3:44
feel
3:44
like
3:44
it's
3:44
a
3:44
mix
3:45
of
3:45
those
3:45
things.
3:45
You
3:46
know,
3:46
life
3:46
doesn't
3:47
stop.
3:47
That's
3:48
right.
3:48
It
3:49
feels
3:49
like
3:49
our
3:49
bodies
3:49
are
3:50
betraying
3:50
us,
3:51
you
3:51
know,
3:51
a
3:51
bit.
3:51
And
3:52
then
3:52
you've
3:52
got
3:52
all
3:52
of
3:53
these
3:53
external
3:53
factors,
3:54
your
3:54
relationships,
3:56
you
3:56
know,
3:56
kids,
3:57
sometimes,
3:58
you
3:58
know,
3:58
work.
3:58
It's
3:59
like
3:59
all
3:59
these
3:59
things
4:00
are
4:00
happening
4:01
at
4:01
once.
4:02
But
4:02
before
4:02
we
4:03
fully
4:03
dive
4:03
into
4:03
that,
4:04
I
4:04
want
4:04
to
4:04
talk
4:04
about
4:04
you
4:05
guys
4:05
for
4:05
a
4:05
second,
4:05
because
4:06
what
4:06
I
4:06
find
4:07
is
4:07
fascinating
4:08
is
4:08
that
4:09
not
4:09
only
4:09
do
4:09
you
4:10
guys
4:10
have
4:10
this
4:11
amazing
4:11
podcast,
4:12
but
4:12
you
4:12
guys
4:12
are
4:12
married
4:13
in
4:13
real
4:13
life.
4:13
You
4:14
know,
4:14
you
4:14
work
4:15
together,
4:15
you
4:15
podcast
4:16
together.
4:17
You
4:17
know,
4:17
you
4:17
had
4:18
a
4:18
great
4:18
family
4:19
together.
4:19
So
4:20
what
4:20
came
4:20
first?
4:21
Was
4:21
it
4:22
the
4:22
work
4:22
and
4:22
that's
4:23
how
4:23
you
4:23
guys
4:23
met
4:23
each
4:24
other,
4:24
or
4:25
you
4:25
got
4:25
married
4:26
and
4:26
then
4:26
found
4:26
a
4:26
way
4:27
to
4:27
work
4:27
together?
4:28
Working
4:28
together.
4:29
It
4:30
was
4:30
accidental
4:31
where
4:32
we.
4:33
We're
4:33
doing
4:33
completely
4:34
different
4:34
things,
4:34
and
4:35
we
4:35
live,
4:35
what
4:36
I
4:36
like
4:36
to
4:36
say,
4:36
in
4:36
a.
4:37
In
4:37
a
4:37
big,
4:37
small
4:38
town
4:38
in
4:39
Charleston.
4:39
And.
4:40
And
4:41
we
4:41
noticed
4:42
that
4:42
we
4:42
were
4:42
seeing
4:43
some
4:43
of
4:43
the
4:43
same
4:44
people
4:46
just
4:47
because
4:47
Kate
4:47
would
4:48
deliver
4:48
them,
4:48
and
4:48
then
4:48
I.
4:49
Would
4:49
see
4:49
them
4:49
for
4:49
gynecology,
4:50
and
4:50
then
4:51
you.
4:51
Yeah,
4:51
mine
4:51
for.
4:52
For
4:52
therapy
4:52
or
4:53
couples
4:53
counseling
4:53
or
4:54
something
4:54
like
4:54
that.
4:54
And
4:54
they
4:54
would
4:55
come
4:55
in
4:55
and
4:55
they
4:55
say,
4:55
I
4:56
have
4:56
to
4:56
tell
4:56
you,
4:56
your
4:57
wife
4:57
deliver
4:57
my
4:57
baby.
4:58
We
4:58
love
4:58
her.
4:59
You
4:59
know,
4:59
and
4:59
then.
4:59
Then
4:59
it
5:00
would
5:00
be.
5:00
And
5:01
so.
5:01
But
5:01
we.
5:02
We
5:02
realized
5:02
we
5:03
are
5:03
hearing
5:04
the
5:04
same
5:06
a
5:06
lot
5:06
of
5:06
times,
5:06
the
5:06
same
5:07
complaints,
5:08
but
5:08
taking
5:09
a
5:09
different
5:09
approach
5:10
to
5:10
it.
5:11
So
5:11
a
5:12
psychological
5:12
and
5:13
a
5:14
more
5:14
medical
5:15
approach.
5:16
So
5:17
that's.
5:17
That's
5:17
kind
5:18
of
5:18
how
5:18
that
5:18
happened.
5:18
It
5:18
was
5:18
on
5:19
accident.
5:20
That's
5:20
amazing.
5:20
And
5:21
you
5:21
guys
5:21
clearly
5:21
have
5:22
made
5:22
it
5:22
work.
5:22
And
5:22
it's,
5:23
you
5:23
know,
5:23
I
5:23
was
5:23
just
5:23
listening
5:24
to
5:24
your
5:24
podcast,
5:24
actually,
5:25
the
5:25
latest,
5:26
one
5:26
of
5:26
the
5:26
latest
5:27
sex
5:27
episodes,
5:28
which
5:28
is
5:28
like,
5:29
so
5:30
what
5:30
I
5:30
want
5:30
to
5:30
talk
5:30
about
5:31
because
5:31
as
5:31
you
5:31
can
5:32
imagine,
5:32
you
5:32
know,
5:33
I'm
5:33
getting
5:33
messages
5:33
and
5:34
dms
5:34
and
5:34
like
5:35
just
5:36
so
5:36
many
5:36
questions
5:37
from
5:37
midlife
5:38
women
5:38
out
5:39
there
5:39
who
5:39
are
5:39
just
5:40
so
5:40
confused
5:41
by
5:41
their
5:41
body
5:42
and
5:42
the
5:43
changes,
5:43
not
5:44
only
5:44
just
5:44
physically,
5:45
but
5:45
mentally
5:46
and
5:46
emotionally
5:47
as
5:47
it
5:47
relates
5:48
to
5:48
sex.
5:49
So
5:50
to
5:50
kick
5:51
it
5:51
all
5:51
off,
5:52
if
5:52
you
5:52
could
5:52
just
5:52
kind
5:53
of
5:53
explain,
5:53
because
5:54
I
5:54
feel
5:54
like
5:54
when
5:54
I'm
5:54
on
5:55
this
5:55
journey,
5:55
especially
5:56
with
5:56
this
5:56
podcast,
5:57
I
5:57
too
5:57
am
5:58
learning
5:58
things
5:58
about
5:58
my
5:59
body
5:59
that
5:59
I
5:59
never
5:59
knew
6:00
before.
6:00
And
6:00
I
6:00
think
6:01
I
6:01
feel
6:01
like
6:01
a
6:01
lot
6:01
of
6:01
women
6:02
are
6:02
in
6:02
the
6:02
same
6:02
boat.
6:03
What
6:03
is
6:04
happening
6:04
to
6:04
our
6:05
bodies
6:06
biologically
6:07
that
6:08
that
6:08
affects
6:09
our
6:09
sex
6:10
drive?
6:11
So
6:11
when
6:11
we
6:12
look
6:12
at
6:12
any
6:12
kind
6:13
of
6:13
sexual
6:14
interaction,
6:15
there's
6:15
really
6:16
three
6:16
things
6:17
at
6:17
play.
6:17
There's
6:18
biology
6:19
and
6:20
then
6:20
so
6:20
it's
6:21
biopsychosocial
6:22
psychology.
6:23
So
6:23
it's
6:23
by
6:23
the
6:23
biology,
6:24
like,
6:24
how
6:24
is
6:25
my
6:25
body
6:25
responding
6:26
to
6:26
these,
6:27
this
6:27
input?
6:29
And
6:29
then
6:29
there's
6:30
the
6:30
social
6:31
part,
6:32
which
6:32
is,
6:33
do
6:33
I
6:33
have,
6:35
is
6:35
this
6:35
the
6:35
appropriate
6:36
time
6:36
for
6:36
us
6:36
to
6:37
respond
6:37
or
6:38
do
6:38
I
6:38
have
6:38
to
6:39
go
6:39
to
6:40
take
6:41
to
6:41
someone
6:41
to
6:41
soccer
6:42
practice?
6:43
Or,
6:43
or.
6:44
And
6:44
then,
6:44
then
6:44
there's
6:45
the
6:45
psychology
6:46
part
6:46
of
6:47
am
6:48
I
6:48
feeling
6:48
really
6:49
anxious
6:49
and
6:49
depressed?
6:50
Because
6:50
that's
6:50
going
6:51
to
6:51
shut
6:51
down
6:52
any
6:52
desire
6:52
to
6:53
really
6:53
have
6:54
sex
6:54
now.
6:55
So
6:55
that
6:56
you
6:56
have
6:56
to
6:56
look
6:57
at
6:57
these
6:57
three
6:57
prongs
6:58
of
6:58
this,
6:59
that,
6:59
that
7:00
and
7:00
all
7:01
that
7:01
all
7:01
have
7:01
to
7:02
be
7:02
able
7:03
to
7:03
align
7:04
to
7:04
have
7:05
a
7:05
sexual
7:05
response.
7:06
Because
7:07
if
7:07
any
7:08
of
7:08
them
7:08
is
7:08
off,
7:09
that's
7:10
going
7:10
to
7:10
derail
7:12
your
7:12
sexual.
7:13
Your
7:13
desire
7:14
for
7:14
sex.
7:15
Correct.
7:16
Yeah.
7:17
Yeah.
7:17
Well,
7:18
so
7:18
talk
7:19
about
7:19
the.
7:19
What's
7:20
happening
7:20
physically.
7:21
Yeah,
7:21
so,
7:21
absolutely.
7:22
So
7:22
when
7:23
we
7:23
look
7:23
at
7:23
the
7:23
biology
7:24
of
7:25
the
7:25
changes
7:26
of
7:26
midlife,
7:27
you've
7:27
got
7:27
the,
7:28
the
7:28
these
7:30
follicles
7:31
that
7:31
may
7:32
have
7:32
an
7:32
egg
7:32
inside
7:33
them
7:33
and
7:33
you
7:33
only
7:33
have
7:34
so
7:34
many
7:34
of
7:34
them.
7:34
You
7:35
are
7:35
given
7:35
all
7:36
that
7:36
you
7:36
have
7:36
that
7:37
you're
7:37
ever
7:37
going
7:38
to
7:38
have
7:38
when
7:38
you're
7:38
born,
7:39
and
7:39
they
7:39
gradually
7:41
decrease,
7:41
and
7:42
they
7:42
also
7:43
gradually
7:43
decrease
7:44
in
7:44
quality.
7:44
So
7:45
you've
7:45
got
7:46
the
7:46
big
7:47
drivers
7:47
of
7:48
hormonal
7:48
drivers.
7:48
The
7:49
primary
7:49
ones
7:49
that
7:50
fluctuate
7:51
from
7:51
your
7:51
ovaries
7:51
are
7:52
estrogen,
7:52
progesterone.
7:53
And
7:53
so
7:54
each
7:55
follicle
7:55
that
7:55
has
7:55
an
7:56
egg
7:56
in
7:56
it
7:56
has
7:56
cells
7:57
around
7:57
it
7:57
that
7:57
make
7:57
estrogen.
7:58
And
7:58
your
7:59
brain
7:59
has
7:59
estrogen
8:00
receptors
8:00
and
8:00
your
8:01
estrogen
8:02
receptors
8:03
are,
8:03
if
8:04
they're
8:04
empty,
8:05
they're
8:05
going
8:05
to
8:05
send
8:06
a
8:06
signal
8:06
to
8:07
the,
8:07
to
8:07
your
8:07
pituitary
8:08
and
8:08
say,
8:09
hey,
8:09
we
8:09
want
8:09
more
8:10
estrogen.
8:10
And
8:10
it
8:10
sends
8:11
follicle
8:11
stimulating
8:12
hormone
8:12
to
8:12
the
8:12
ovary
8:13
and
8:13
the
8:13
Ovary
8:14
is
8:14
going
8:14
to
8:15
supposed
8:15
to
8:16
respond
8:16
by
8:17
recruiting
8:18
a
8:18
follicle
8:18
that
8:18
has
8:18
an
8:19
egg
8:19
in
8:19
it
8:19
and
8:19
all
8:20
the
8:20
cells
8:20
around
8:20
it
8:20
will
8:20
make
8:21
estrogen.
8:21
Well,
8:22
that
8:22
works
8:22
great
8:23
in
8:23
your
8:24
30s
8:24
and,
8:25
and
8:25
you
8:25
from
8:26
15
8:26
to
8:27
35.
8:28
But
8:28
then
8:28
as
8:28
your
8:28
ovaries
8:29
age
8:30
and
8:30
your,
8:30
your
8:31
follicles
8:32
become
8:32
less
8:33
responsive,
8:34
you
8:35
get
8:35
your
8:37
messages
8:37
to
8:37
your
8:38
from
8:38
your
8:38
brain
8:38
are
8:39
like,
8:39
oh
8:39
wait,
8:40
I
8:40
really
8:40
mean
8:40
it,
8:41
I
8:41
really
8:41
want
8:41
that
8:41
estrogen
8:42
receptor.
8:42
And
8:43
your,
8:43
your
8:43
ovaries
8:44
are
8:44
like,
8:45
and
8:45
they're
8:45
kind
8:46
of
8:46
slow
8:46
to
8:46
respond
8:47
and
8:47
it's
8:47
like
8:47
no,
8:48
no,
8:48
and
8:49
follicle
8:49
stimulating
8:50
hormone.
8:50
And
8:50
then
8:50
it's
8:51
gradually
8:51
recruiting
8:52
all
8:52
these
8:53
semi
8:53
poor
8:54
quality
8:54
follicles
8:55
but
8:56
each
8:56
of
8:56
those
8:56
follicles
8:57
has
8:57
cells
8:58
around
8:58
it
8:58
that
8:58
make
8:59
estrogen.
8:59
And
8:59
the
8:59
estrogen
9:00
levels
9:00
get
9:00
higher
9:01
and
9:01
higher
9:01
and
9:01
higher.
9:02
And
9:02
so
9:03
you
9:03
go
9:03
through
9:04
these
9:04
cycles
9:04
where
9:05
finally
9:05
your,
9:06
your
9:06
ovary
9:07
responds
9:08
and
9:08
you've
9:08
got
9:08
these
9:09
super
9:09
high
9:10
levels
9:10
of
9:10
estrogen.
9:11
And
9:11
is
9:12
that
9:12
a
9:12
real
9:12
problem?
9:13
Your
9:13
brain
9:14
does
9:14
pretty
9:14
well
9:15
with
9:15
high
9:15
estrogen.
9:16
In
9:16
fact,
9:17
when
9:17
you're
9:17
pregnant
9:18
your
9:18
hormone
9:19
levels
9:19
of
9:20
estrogen
9:20
a
9:20
lot
9:20
of
9:21
times
9:21
will
9:21
be
9:21
close
9:22
to
9:22
a
9:22
thousand.
9:23
But
9:24
a
9:24
normal
9:24
cycle,
9:25
they
9:25
only
9:25
get
9:25
to
9:26
be
9:26
about
9:26
200,
9:27
300.
9:28
So
9:28
we
9:28
do
9:28
pretty
9:29
well
9:29
with
9:29
high
9:29
estrogen.
9:30
What
9:30
our
9:30
brains
9:31
do
9:31
not
9:31
like
9:32
is
9:32
when
9:32
your
9:32
estrogen
9:33
plummets
9:34
and
9:34
you,
9:35
and
9:35
comes
9:35
down
9:36
after
9:36
you
9:36
ovulate
9:37
and
9:37
then
9:38
you
9:38
go
9:38
from
9:38
a
9:38
level,
9:39
a
9:39
nice
9:40
arc
9:41
of
9:41
up
9:41
and
9:41
down
9:42
with
9:42
your
9:42
hormones
9:43
to
9:43
this
9:43
huge
9:44
spike
9:44
and,
9:45
and
9:45
your
9:45
brain
9:46
is
9:46
like
9:46
hey
9:46
wait,
9:47
where'd
9:47
that
9:48
estrogen
9:48
go?
9:49
And
9:49
that's
9:49
when
9:49
you
9:50
start
9:50
getting
9:50
brain
9:51
fog.
9:51
And
9:52
your
9:52
dopamine
9:53
and
9:53
your
9:54
serotonin
9:55
are
9:55
not
9:57
controlling
9:57
your
9:58
cycle
9:58
and
9:58
you're
9:59
getting
9:59
more
9:59
anxiety
10:00
because
10:00
your
10:00
serotonin
10:01
is
10:01
off
10:02
and
10:02
you're
10:02
getting
10:02
more
10:05
crazy.
10:05
Loss
10:06
of
10:06
executive
10:06
functioning
10:07
where
10:07
you
10:08
feel
10:08
like
10:08
you
10:08
have
10:08
ADD
10:09
all
10:09
the
10:09
time.
10:10
And
10:12
the
10:12
worst
10:12
thing
10:12
about
10:13
it
10:13
in
10:13
some
10:13
ways
10:14
is
10:14
that
10:14
it's
10:15
so
10:15
irregular
10:16
and
10:16
cyclic
10:17
and
10:17
sometimes
10:18
it's
10:18
happening
10:20
and
10:20
firing
10:21
off
10:21
and
10:21
you're
10:22
hitting
10:22
all
10:23
your
10:23
marks
10:23
and
10:23
you're
10:24
killing
10:24
it
10:24
at
10:25
work
10:25
and
10:26
you're
10:26
remembering
10:26
all
10:27
the
10:27
words
10:28
all
10:28
the
10:28
time
10:29
and
10:29
then
10:30
the
10:30
next
10:31
day
10:31
you
10:32
will
10:32
be
10:32
feeling
10:33
moody
10:34
and
10:35
irritable
10:35
and
10:36
can't
10:36
remember
10:37
any
10:37
words
10:38
and
10:38
can't
10:39
remember
10:39
where
10:39
you
10:39
put
10:40
anything.
10:40
And
10:41
that
10:41
is
10:41
a
10:42
real
10:42
sense
10:43
of
10:44
loss
10:45
and
10:45
urgency.
10:46
And
10:47
because
10:48
you
10:48
are
10:49
no
10:49
longer
10:50
able
10:50
to
10:50
manage
10:51
what
10:51
you
10:51
easily
10:52
were
10:52
able
10:52
to
10:53
manage
10:53
previously.
10:54
And
10:54
it's
10:54
terrible
10:54
because
10:55
the
10:55
husband
10:55
or
10:56
the
10:56
kids
10:56
or
10:56
whatever
10:57
will
10:58
wonder
10:58
where,
10:59
where
10:59
did
10:59
mom
10:59
go
11:00
or
11:01
where
11:01
did
11:01
my
11:01
partner
11:02
go
11:02
or
11:02
something.
11:03
Yeah,
11:04
so,
11:04
so
11:05
sorry.
11:05
That
11:05
was
11:05
a
11:05
Long
11:06
biology
11:06
lesson,
11:07
but
11:07
that
11:08
those
11:08
big
11:08
spikes
11:09
are
11:09
why
11:09
you'
11:10
to
11:10
feel.
11:11
Because
11:11
your.
11:12
Your
11:12
dopamine
11:13
estrogen
11:14
helps
11:14
your
11:14
dopamine.
11:15
And
11:15
dopamine
11:16
is
11:16
responsible
11:17
for
11:17
attention
11:18
and
11:19
activation.
11:21
And
11:22
it's.
11:22
It.
11:23
When
11:23
you
11:23
lose
11:23
it,
11:24
you
11:24
no
11:25
longer
11:25
are
11:25
able
11:26
to
11:26
pay
11:27
attention
11:27
to
11:27
the
11:27
things
11:28
and
11:29
get
11:29
the
11:29
things
11:29
done
11:30
that
11:30
you
11:30
needed
11:30
to
11:31
do.
11:31
And
11:31
so
11:32
when
11:32
that
11:32
happens
11:33
and
11:33
you're
11:33
already
11:34
the
11:34
person
11:34
in
11:35
the
11:35
house
11:35
that's
11:36
responsible
11:36
for.
11:37
For
11:37
so.
11:37
Or
11:38
in
11:38
work
11:39
for
11:39
so
11:39
many
11:40
things.
11:40
And
11:40
you
11:40
were.
11:41
And
11:41
it's
11:41
a
11:41
lot
11:41
to
11:42
juggle
11:42
all
11:42
the
11:43
time
11:43
as
11:43
being
11:43
an
11:44
adult
11:44
and
11:45
being
11:45
an
11:45
adult
11:45
in
11:46
this
11:46
part
11:46
of
11:46
your
11:46
life.
11:47
And
11:47
then
11:47
when
11:48
you
11:48
lose
11:48
that
11:48
regulation
11:49
and
11:49
support
11:50
in
11:50
your
11:50
brain,
11:51
it
11:51
is
11:52
that
11:52
you
11:52
are
11:53
feeling.
11:55
And
11:55
so
11:55
you're
11:56
feeling
11:56
like
11:56
you're
11:57
out
11:57
of
11:57
control.
11:57
And
11:58
that
11:59
psychological
12:00
biological
12:01
part
12:01
is
12:02
going
12:02
to
12:02
impact
12:03
your
12:03
sexual
12:03
function.
12:04
Because
12:04
if
12:05
you
12:05
don't
12:06
feel
12:06
like
12:06
you're
12:06
in
12:06
control
12:07
and
12:07
you
12:07
feel
12:08
like
12:08
you're
12:08
fighting
12:09
a
12:09
battle
12:10
to
12:10
get
12:10
your.
12:10
The
12:11
rest
12:11
of
12:11
your
12:11
life,
12:11
you're.
12:12
You're
12:12
not
12:12
going
12:13
to
12:14
feel
12:14
like
12:15
that
12:16
this
12:16
is
12:16
the
12:17
time
12:17
to
12:18
reproduce.
12:20
Right.
12:22
Psychologically,
12:23
you'll.
12:23
You
12:24
will.
12:24
There's
12:24
a.
12:25
There's
12:25
a
12:26
great.
12:26
It's
12:27
called
12:27
the
12:27
Garcia
12:27
effect,
12:28
where
12:29
that's
12:30
where
12:31
you
12:32
have
12:33
too
12:33
much
12:33
of
12:34
something
12:35
and
12:35
you.
12:36
And.
12:36
And
12:37
it.
12:37
It
12:37
either
12:38
it
12:38
makes
12:38
you
12:38
sick
12:38
or
12:39
you.
12:39
You
12:39
had
12:40
something
12:40
and
12:40
you.
12:40
Your
12:41
body
12:41
blames
12:41
it.
12:42
Like
12:42
Fuzzy
12:42
Navels.
12:43
Yeah,
12:43
that
12:44
was
12:44
very
12:44
bad.
12:46
Yes.
12:46
Everybody
12:47
has
12:47
something
12:47
like
12:47
that.
12:48
You've
12:48
seen
12:48
people
12:48
that
12:48
say,
12:49
I
12:49
can't
12:49
drink
12:49
tequila
12:50
anymore
12:50
because
12:50
I
12:50
spent
12:51
a
12:51
night.
12:51
Yeah.
12:52
You
12:52
know,
12:52
or
12:52
a
12:52
day
12:53
and
12:53
a
12:53
half
12:53
throwing
12:53
up
12:54
over,
12:55
um.
12:55
Yeah.
12:56
So
12:57
this
12:57
kicks
12:57
in
12:59
for
13:00
couples.
13:01
And,
13:01
and,
13:01
and
13:02
where
13:03
she
13:04
is
13:04
wondering,
13:04
wait
13:05
a
13:05
minute,
13:05
what
13:05
is
13:05
going
13:06
on
13:06
with
13:06
me?
13:08
It
13:08
must
13:09
be
13:09
something
13:09
in
13:10
my
13:10
life.
13:11
And,
13:12
and
13:12
so
13:12
that
13:13
a
13:13
lot
13:13
of
13:13
times
13:14
the,
13:15
the
13:15
partner
13:16
can.
13:17
Now,
13:17
a
13:18
lot
13:18
of
13:18
times
13:18
the
13:18
partner
13:18
is
13:19
to
13:19
blame,
13:19
but
13:20
sometimes
13:20
the
13:20
partner
13:21
can
13:21
be
13:21
blamed
13:22
for
13:22
something
13:22
that's
13:22
happening
13:23
internally.
13:23
I
13:23
mean,
13:24
it's.
13:24
And
13:24
because
13:25
you'll
13:25
see
13:25
guys.
13:26
And
13:26
we're
13:27
guilty
13:27
of
13:27
this.
13:28
Where
13:28
guys
13:29
will
13:29
say,
13:30
wait
13:30
a
13:30
minute,
13:30
I
13:31
haven't
13:31
changed.
13:32
I'm.
13:33
I'm
13:33
the
13:33
same
13:34
person
13:34
I
13:34
was
13:35
and
13:36
used
13:36
to
13:36
like
13:37
these
13:37
things
13:37
that
13:37
I
13:37
did.
13:38
Used
13:38
to
13:38
think
13:39
that
13:39
this
13:39
was
13:39
funny.
13:40
Used
13:40
it,
13:40
you
13:40
know,
13:41
and
13:41
then
13:41
all
13:41
of
13:41
a
13:42
sudden
13:42
that's
13:42
not
13:42
working
13:43
anymore.
13:43
And,
13:44
And.
13:44
Yeah.
13:45
Yeah.
13:45
And
13:45
so
13:45
where
13:46
do
13:46
you
13:46
go
13:46
from
13:46
there?
13:47
Yeah,
13:47
where
13:47
do
13:47
you
13:48
go
13:48
from
13:48
there?
13:48
And
13:48
I'm
13:48
glad
13:49
you're
13:49
bringing
13:49
up
13:49
the
13:49
partners
13:50
because
13:50
I
13:50
do
13:50
feel
13:51
bad
13:51
for
13:52
the
13:52
men
13:52
in
13:52
our
13:52
lives
13:53
that
13:53
don't
13:53
really
13:54
know
13:54
how
13:54
to.
13:55
If
13:55
we
13:55
don't
13:55
know
13:55
how
13:55
to
13:56
n.
13:56
Navigate,
13:56
like,
13:56
how
13:57
can
13:57
they
13:57
know
13:58
you
13:58
know
13:58
how
13:58
to
13:58
navigate
13:59
these.
13:59
These
14:00
waters?
14:00
And,
14:01
you
14:01
know,
14:01
I
14:01
feel
14:01
like,
14:01
you
14:02
know,
14:02
for
14:02
example,
14:02
my
14:02
husband
14:03
does
14:03
the
14:03
best
14:03
he
14:04
can,
14:04
you
14:04
know,
14:05
trying
14:05
to
14:05
see.
14:06
But
14:06
even
14:06
he's
14:06
kind
14:07
of
14:07
like,
14:07
I
14:07
don't
14:07
know
14:07
what
14:07
I'm
14:08
stepping
14:08
into.
14:09
You
14:09
know,
14:09
he's
14:09
like,
14:10
he
14:10
will
14:10
like
14:10
walk
14:11
into
14:11
a
14:11
room
14:11
and
14:11
if
14:12
he
14:12
thinks
14:12
I'm
14:12
in
14:12
a
14:12
bad
14:13
mood,
14:13
he'll
14:13
be
14:13
like,
14:13
tiptoeing
14:14
back
14:14
out
14:14
because
14:15
he's
14:15
like,
14:15
I
14:16
don't
14:16
want
14:16
to
14:16
face
14:16
the
14:16
wrath,
14:17
you
14:17
know.
14:18
Right.
14:18
Yeah,
14:18
well,
14:19
that's
14:19
exactly
14:19
right.
14:20
And
14:20
that's
14:20
the.
14:21
Yeah,
14:21
that's
14:21
the
14:21
cycle
14:22
guys
14:22
go
14:22
through
14:23
where
14:24
they
14:24
start
14:24
off
14:25
with
14:26
just
14:26
trying
14:26
to
14:26
weather
14:27
the
14:27
storm,
14:28
whatever
14:29
it
14:29
is
14:29
that's
14:29
happening.
14:30
And
14:30
then
14:31
we
14:31
will
14:31
try
14:31
to
14:32
fix,
14:33
of
14:33
course,
14:33
which
14:34
sometimes
14:35
goes
14:36
quite
14:36
poorly.
14:37
And
14:37
then,
14:38
then
14:39
you'll.
14:39
You
14:40
can
14:40
fight.
14:40
I
14:41
mean,
14:41
it'll
14:41
just
14:41
be,
14:41
what
14:42
is
14:42
wrong
14:42
with
14:42
you?
14:42
And
14:43
now
14:43
what's
14:43
wrong
14:43
with
14:43
you?
14:44
And
14:44
then
14:44
it
14:44
goes
14:44
back
14:44
and
14:44
forth,
14:45
you
14:45
know,
14:45
and
14:45
nothing
14:45
happened.
14:46
And
14:46
then
14:46
right
14:47
then
14:47
it's
14:47
the
14:47
tiptoeing
14:48
out
14:48
of
14:48
the
14:48
back
14:48
of
14:49
the
14:49
room.
14:49
And
14:49
that
14:49
loss.
14:50
It's
14:50
even
14:51
loss
14:51
of
14:51
more
14:52
connection
14:52
and
14:52
loss
14:53
of
14:53
more
14:53
intimacy
14:54
and
14:55
that.
14:55
And,
14:55
and
14:56
no,
14:57
I
14:57
wouldn't
14:57
say
14:57
I
14:57
don't
14:58
want
14:58
to
14:58
speak
14:58
for
14:58
all
14:58
women,
14:59
but
14:59
we
14:59
don't
15:00
want
15:00
to
15:00
be
15:01
feared.
15:02
We
15:03
want
15:03
to
15:03
find
15:03
our
15:04
voice
15:04
and
15:05
say,
15:05
this
15:06
is
15:06
what's
15:06
important
15:06
to
15:07
me.
15:07
But
15:07
we
15:07
don't
15:08
want
15:08
to
15:08
be
15:08
feared
15:09
or
15:09
resented.
15:10
And
15:11
so.
15:11
So
15:11
it's.
15:12
It's
15:12
a.
15:13
It's.
15:13
It's
15:13
a.
15:14
It's
15:14
trying
15:14
to
15:15
find
15:15
that
15:16
tipping
15:17
point
15:17
between
15:19
taking
15:19
that
15:20
autonomy
15:21
of
15:21
saying,
15:21
this
15:22
is
15:22
what's
15:22
important
15:22
to
15:23
me.
15:23
This
15:23
is
15:23
what
15:23
I
15:23
need
15:24
without
15:26
screaming
15:26
it,
15:30
and
15:30
so
15:30
that
15:31
everyone
15:31
shuts
15:31
down.
15:32
So,
15:33
so
15:33
it's
15:33
try
15:34
and
15:34
sometimes.
15:35
And
15:35
that
15:35
self
15:35
regulation
15:36
that
15:37
you
15:37
get,
15:37
so
15:37
your
15:38
frontal
15:38
cortex
15:39
is,
15:39
Is
15:39
the
15:40
part
15:40
of
15:40
your
15:40
brain
15:41
that
15:41
it
15:41
allows
15:42
you
15:42
to
15:42
say
15:42
that
15:43
this
15:43
is
15:43
the
15:44
time
15:44
to
15:44
say
15:44
this
15:45
or
15:45
this
15:45
is
15:45
not
15:45
the
15:46
time
15:46
to
15:46
say
15:46
this.
15:47
And
15:47
when
15:47
you
15:47
have
15:48
hormones
15:49
that
15:49
are
15:49
not
15:49
firing
15:50
correctly
15:51
to
15:51
stimulate
15:52
that
15:52
part
15:52
of
15:52
your
15:52
brain,
15:54
you
15:54
lose
15:55
that
15:55
regulation.
15:56
So
15:56
people
15:57
say,
15:57
I
15:57
lose.
15:57
Lost
15:58
my
15:58
filter.
15:59
And
15:59
some
15:59
of
15:59
that
15:59
is
16:00
good
16:00
because
16:00
it
16:00
clarifies
16:02
what
16:02
is
16:02
important
16:02
to
16:03
you
16:03
and
16:03
what's
16:03
not
16:03
important
16:04
to
16:04
you.
16:04
Yeah,
16:05
some
16:05
things
16:05
need
16:05
to
16:05
be
16:05
dropped.
16:06
Yeah,
16:06
there's
16:06
some
16:06
things
16:06
that
16:07
to
16:07
change.
16:08
But
16:08
if
16:09
it's
16:09
damaged,
16:10
the
16:10
point
16:10
at
16:10
which
16:11
you.
16:12
That
16:12
loss
16:12
of
16:13
filters
16:13
starts
16:13
being
16:14
damaging,
16:15
that's
16:15
where
16:15
you
16:16
have
16:16
to
16:16
say,
16:16
okay,
16:17
do
16:18
I
16:18
need
16:18
something
16:19
to
16:19
even
16:19
this
16:20
Out.
16:20
Do
16:20
I
16:20
need
16:20
do.
16:21
Is
16:21
it
16:21
going
16:21
to
16:21
be
16:22
mindfulness?
16:22
Is
16:23
it
16:23
going
16:23
to
16:23
be
16:23
meditation?
16:24
Is
16:24
it
16:24
going
16:24
to
16:24
be
16:24
possibly
16:27
hormone
16:27
therapy
16:28
or.
16:28
And
16:29
that's
16:29
why
16:29
a
16:29
lot
16:30
of
16:30
people
16:30
do
16:30
end
16:30
up
16:31
going
16:31
on
16:31
SSRIs,
16:32
which
16:32
is
16:33
not
16:33
necessarily
16:33
the
16:33
bad
16:34
thing
16:34
for.
16:35
But
16:35
it's
16:35
not
16:35
necessarily
16:36
where
16:37
you
16:37
have
16:38
to
16:38
start.
16:39
And
16:39
so
16:39
I
16:39
think
16:40
that
16:40
when
16:40
we
16:40
look
16:40
at
16:41
how
16:41
many
16:41
people
16:41
get
16:42
started
16:42
on
16:43
SSRIs
16:43
at
16:44
this
16:44
point
16:44
in
16:44
our.
16:45
Which
16:45
is
16:46
things
16:46
like
16:46
Zoloft
16:47
and
16:47
Prozac.
16:48
They're
16:48
not
16:49
wrong
16:50
things,
16:50
but.
16:51
And
16:51
they
16:51
do
16:51
help
16:52
with
16:52
the
16:52
serotonin
16:53
imbalance
16:53
that
16:53
we
16:54
do
16:54
have.
16:55
But
16:55
is
16:55
there.
16:56
Are
16:56
there
16:56
different
16:56
ways
16:57
to
16:57
balance
16:58
those
16:58
things
16:58
so
16:58
that
16:59
you
16:59
have
16:59
that
17:00
give
17:01
you
17:01
just
17:01
that
17:01
beat
17:02
of
17:03
time
17:04
and
17:04
control
17:05
in
17:05
your.
17:06
So
17:06
to
17:07
not
17:07
blow
17:07
up
17:07
your.
17:08
Can
17:08
I
17:08
tell
17:08
you
17:08
about
17:08
our
17:09
fight
17:09
last
17:09
night?
17:09
Oh,
17:10
yes,
17:10
please
17:10
tell
17:11
me.
17:12
So
17:12
we're.
17:13
We're
17:13
sitting
17:13
upstairs
17:14
and
17:15
we're.
17:16
We
17:16
were.
17:17
Well,
17:17
we
17:17
had
17:17
our
17:18
own
17:18
podcast
17:18
today
17:19
and
17:19
then
17:19
we
17:19
had
17:19
your
17:20
podcast.
17:20
We
17:20
have
17:20
different
17:21
things
17:21
going
17:21
on
17:21
today.
17:22
And
17:22
she's
17:23
about
17:23
to
17:23
take.
17:23
There's
17:24
a
17:24
lot
17:24
of
17:24
stress.
17:24
She's
17:25
about
17:25
to
17:25
take
17:25
a
17:25
test.
17:26
Huge
17:26
exam.
17:26
Yeah.
17:27
So
17:28
at
17:28
this
17:28
point
17:28
in
17:29
her
17:29
life
17:29
is
17:29
still
17:29
taking
17:30
tests.
17:31
And,
17:32
and
17:33
so
17:33
I'm
17:34
upstairs
17:35
and
17:36
watching
17:36
the.
17:37
On
17:37
mute
17:38
the
17:38
end
17:38
of
17:38
the
17:39
Phillies
17:39
game
17:40
and,
17:41
and
17:41
I've
17:42
been
17:42
working
17:42
all
17:43
day
17:43
and
17:43
preparing
17:44
and
17:44
getting
17:44
stuff
17:45
to
17:45
do
17:46
and.
17:46
Well,
17:47
not
17:47
at
17:47
your
17:47
level,
17:47
but.
17:48
But
17:48
she
17:49
comes
17:49
up.
17:49
I
17:50
mean,
17:50
she
17:50
comes
17:50
upstairs
17:51
and
17:52
obviously
17:52
there's.
17:52
There's
17:53
some,
17:53
there's
17:53
some
17:54
tension
17:54
and
17:54
buildup
17:55
and
17:55
I'm
17:55
just,
17:56
you
17:56
know,
17:56
just
17:56
watching
17:57
the
17:57
game.
17:57
Absolutely.
17:58
And,
17:59
and
17:59
she
17:59
says,
18:00
sure
18:00
wish
18:01
I
18:01
had
18:01
time
18:01
to
18:01
sit
18:02
up
18:02
and
18:02
watch
18:02
baseball.
18:03
And,
18:04
and
18:04
I,
18:04
I
18:05
thought
18:05
wait
18:05
a
18:05
minute.
18:05
What,
18:06
what.
18:06
What.
18:07
What
18:07
is.
18:08
And,
18:09
and
18:09
it
18:09
was
18:09
just
18:10
being
18:10
nervous
18:10
about
18:11
the
18:11
test
18:11
and
18:11
it
18:11
was
18:12
being
18:12
nervous
18:12
about,
18:13
you
18:13
know,
18:14
all
18:14
the
18:14
things
18:14
that
18:14
we
18:15
had
18:15
to
18:15
get
18:15
done
18:16
today.
18:16
But
18:17
boy,
18:17
there.
18:18
Yeah,
18:18
the,
18:18
the.
18:19
The
18:19
filter
18:20
was
18:20
off.
18:20
It
18:20
was
18:20
great.
18:21
It
18:21
was.
18:22
And
18:23
I
18:23
did
18:23
go
18:23
back
18:23
and,
18:24
and
18:24
I
18:24
think
18:24
that
18:24
how
18:25
do
18:25
you.
18:26
How
18:26
do
18:27
you.
18:27
If
18:27
you
18:28
do
18:28
have
18:28
these
18:29
times
18:29
where
18:30
you.
18:30
Things
18:31
come
18:31
out
18:32
the
18:32
way
18:32
that
18:33
I
18:33
think
18:33
that
18:34
you
18:34
don't
18:34
necessarily
18:35
in
18:35
the
18:35
best
18:36
way,
18:37
can
18:37
you
18:38
bring
18:38
it
18:38
back
18:38
around?
18:39
Yes.
18:40
You
18:40
have
18:41
to
18:41
be
18:41
able
18:41
to
18:41
heal
18:42
those
18:42
moments
18:43
too.
18:43
And
18:43
I
18:43
think
18:43
that.
18:44
That
18:44
it
18:45
is.
18:46
It
18:46
is.
18:47
That
18:47
is
18:47
where
18:48
you
18:48
can
18:49
bring
18:49
it
18:49
back
18:49
around
18:50
to.
18:50
To.
18:51
And
18:51
that's
18:52
where
18:52
investing
18:53
in
18:53
your
18:53
intimacy
18:54
in
18:55
general,
18:56
because
18:56
intimacy
18:57
leads
18:58
that
18:58
emotional
18:59
connection
18:59
for
18:59
women.
19:00
I
19:00
think
19:00
this
19:00
is
19:01
true
19:01
psychologists.
19:02
Emotional
19:03
closeness
19:03
leads
19:04
to
19:04
sexual
19:05
closeness.
19:06
You
19:06
know,
19:06
you
19:07
have.
19:07
Emotional
19:07
intimacy
19:08
leads
19:08
to
19:08
sexual
19:09
intimacy
19:09
for
19:10
Men.
19:10
I
19:10
think
19:10
it's
19:11
the
19:11
other
19:11
way
19:11
around.
19:12
Yeah.
19:12
Where
19:13
physical
19:13
intimacy
19:14
leads
19:14
to
19:14
emotional
19:15
intimacy.
19:16
And
19:16
so
19:16
it's
19:16
a
19:17
great
19:17
circle
19:17
when
19:18
it's
19:18
working
19:19
and
19:19
then
19:20
when
19:20
it's
19:20
not,
19:21
it's.
19:22
Yeah,
19:23
yeah,
19:23
it
19:23
can,
19:23
it
19:23
can
19:24
fall
19:24
apart
19:25
pretty
19:25
fast
19:25
and
19:25
I,
19:26
and
19:26
I
19:26
feel
19:26
bad.
19:28
There's
19:28
all
19:28
sorts
19:29
of
19:29
things
19:29
that
19:29
can
19:29
go,
19:30
that
19:30
can
19:30
go
19:31
wrong.
19:31
But
19:32
certainly
19:32
if
19:33
physically
19:35
you're
19:35
not,
19:35
you're
19:36
not
19:36
feeling
19:38
like
19:38
there's
19:39
pain
19:39
with
19:40
sex
19:40
or
19:40
something
19:41
like
19:41
that,
19:43
the
19:43
guy
19:43
can
19:43
still
19:44
feel
19:44
rejected
19:45
and
19:45
it's
19:45
not
19:46
him
19:46
at
19:47
all.
19:47
I
19:47
mean
19:47
it's,
19:48
it's,
19:48
it's.
19:50
And
19:50
I
19:50
don't
19:50
mean
19:50
it's
19:51
not.
19:51
I
19:51
mean
19:51
he's
19:51
certainly
19:53
a
19:53
part
19:53
of
19:53
the
19:53
pair,
19:54
but
19:54
it's
19:55
not
19:55
as
19:55
if,
19:56
you
19:56
know,
19:56
he
19:56
can
19:57
feel
19:57
like,
19:57
well,
19:57
why
19:57
is
19:57
she
19:58
mad
19:58
at
19:58
me?
19:58
Or
19:58
why
19:58
is
19:59
she.
20:00
And
20:00
it's
20:00
not
20:00
that
20:01
or.
20:01
Yeah,
20:01
that's
20:02
just
20:02
a
20:02
simple
20:02
example.
20:03
So
20:03
yeah,
20:03
when
20:04
we
20:04
get
20:04
those
20:04
hormone
20:05
changes
20:05
and
20:05
they
20:05
can
20:05
even
20:06
start
20:06
in
20:06
perimenopause,
20:07
which
20:07
people
20:08
don't
20:08
realize
20:09
that
20:09
you
20:09
can
20:09
start
20:10
having
20:10
some
20:10
of
20:10
that
20:11
dryness
20:11
and
20:11
it's
20:12
not.
20:12
And
20:12
vaginal
20:13
dryness
20:13
and
20:13
irritation
20:14
and,
20:15
and
20:15
it
20:15
can
20:15
be
20:15
cyclic.
20:16
You
20:16
can
20:16
get
20:17
it
20:17
just
20:17
when
20:17
your
20:17
estrogen
20:18
drops
20:18
with
20:18
your
20:18
period
20:19
and
20:20
you,
20:20
and
20:20
it's
20:21
okay
20:21
to
20:21
use,
20:22
certainly
20:22
okay
20:23
to
20:23
use
20:23
lubricant
20:24
at
20:24
any
20:24
time,
20:24
but,
20:25
but
20:25
certainly
20:25
using
20:26
a
20:26
lubricant
20:27
is,
20:27
can
20:28
be
20:28
helpful
20:29
because
20:29
if
20:30
you're,
20:30
if
20:30
you
20:30
do
20:31
have
20:31
pain,
20:33
your
20:34
desire
20:35
center
20:35
is
20:35
going
20:35
to
20:36
shut
20:36
down.
20:37
It's
20:37
like,
20:37
it's
20:37
going
20:37
to
20:37
be
20:37
like,
20:38
nope,
20:38
we're
20:38
not
20:38
doing
20:39
that.
20:39
And
20:40
so
20:40
even
20:41
using
20:41
a
20:41
little
20:41
vaginal
20:42
estrogen
20:44
during
20:44
those,
20:44
that
20:44
time
20:45
can
20:45
be
20:45
helpful
20:46
because
20:46
there's
20:46
so
20:46
many
20:46
estrogen
20:47
receptors
20:47
in
20:48
the,
20:48
in
20:48
that
20:48
area
20:49
of
20:49
the,
20:49
at
20:49
that,
20:49
especially
20:50
at
20:50
that
20:50
entrance
20:50
to
20:50
the
20:51
vagina.
20:51
And
20:52
you
20:52
can
20:52
also
20:52
get
20:53
decreased
20:53
sensation
20:54
in
20:54
the
20:54
clitoris
20:55
and
20:55
a
20:55
decreased
20:56
bulk
20:56
in
20:56
the
20:56
clitoris
20:57
with
20:57
a,
20:58
as
20:58
your
20:58
hormones
20:59
change
20:59
there.
21:00
So
21:00
adding
21:01
back
21:01
some
21:01
estrogen
21:02
can.
21:02
Even
21:02
if
21:03
you
21:03
are
21:04
on
21:04
other
21:05
hormone
21:05
therapy,
21:06
that,
21:06
that
21:07
can
21:07
be
21:07
very
21:07
valuable
21:08
and
21:08
really
21:08
helpful
21:09
because
21:09
if
21:09
the
21:10
equipment
21:10
doesn't
21:10
work,
21:11
then
21:12
yeah,
21:12
yeah,
21:13
that's
21:13
a,
21:13
that's
21:13
just
21:14
a
21:14
non
21:14
starter.
21:14
Right.
21:15
So,
21:16
so
21:16
that
21:17
is.
21:17
So
21:18
just
21:18
adding
21:18
that
21:18
back.
21:19
And
21:19
then
21:20
we
21:20
have
21:20
changes
21:21
in
21:21
estrogen,
21:22
progesterone,
21:23
testosterone.
21:25
All
21:25
of
21:25
these
21:25
things
21:26
change
21:27
for.
21:27
Well,
21:28
the
21:28
Testosterone
21:29
changes
21:29
from
21:29
40%
21:30
of
21:30
men
21:30
are
21:31
low
21:31
testosterone,
21:32
have
21:32
low
21:32
Testosterone
21:33
in
21:33
their
21:33
40s.
21:34
And
21:35
as
21:36
those
21:36
changes
21:36
happen
21:37
that
21:37
can
21:37
affect
21:39
their
21:39
ability
21:40
to,
21:41
to
21:41
feel
21:42
desire
21:42
or
21:43
maintain
21:43
erections,
21:44
things
21:44
like
21:44
that.
21:45
So,
21:45
so
21:46
but
21:46
it's
21:46
important
21:47
to
21:47
address
21:48
for
21:48
both
21:49
Parties.
21:51
Because
21:52
if
21:52
you're.
21:53
So
21:53
the
21:53
pain,
21:53
that's
21:54
one
21:54
part
21:54
of
21:54
it.
21:55
Right.
21:56
And
21:56
then
21:57
it's
21:57
just
21:57
the
21:58
emotional
21:59
anxiety
22:00
and
22:00
depression
22:01
that
22:01
can
22:01
happen.
22:02
Increased
22:03
about
22:03
30
22:03
to
22:04
40%
22:05
in
22:05
perimenopause.
22:06
Yeah.
22:07
There's
22:07
lots
22:07
of
22:07
different
22:07
directions
22:08
that.
22:09
Wow.
22:09
That
22:10
you
22:10
could
22:10
go.
22:12
And
22:12
then
22:12
if
22:12
you
22:12
get
22:13
your
22:13
audience
22:14
ssri,
22:15
then
22:15
your
22:16
sexual
22:16
function
22:16
gets
22:17
even
22:17
worse.
22:17
Goes
22:17
even
22:18
worse.
22:18
Yeah.
22:18
Right.
22:19
And
22:19
then
22:19
the
22:20
connection.
22:20
I
22:20
thought
22:20
it
22:21
would.
22:21
I
22:21
thought
22:21
it
22:21
was
22:22
so
22:22
interesting
22:22
that
22:22
you
22:22
guys
22:23
really
22:23
talk
22:23
about,
22:24
you
22:24
know,
22:25
how
22:25
men
22:25
and
22:25
women
22:25
are
22:25
so
22:26
different,
22:26
especially
22:26
with
22:27
sex.
22:27
You
22:27
know,
22:27
like,
22:28
it's
22:28
almost
22:28
like
22:29
two
22:29
ships
22:29
passing
22:30
in
22:30
the
22:30
night.
22:30
So
22:30
if
22:30
you
22:31
don't
22:31
have
22:31
that
22:31
connection,
22:32
like,
22:33
especially
22:33
with
22:33
all
22:34
these
22:34
things
22:34
going
22:34
on,
22:35
what
22:35
are,
22:35
like,
22:36
things
22:36
that
22:36
we
22:36
could
22:37
do
22:37
to
22:38
reestablish
22:39
connection
22:40
with
22:40
our
22:41
partners?
22:42
I
22:42
think
22:42
that's
22:43
important.
22:44
Yeah.
22:45
So
22:45
for.
22:45
In
22:46
therapy,
22:46
we
22:47
talk.
22:47
First
22:47
of
22:47
all,
22:48
I
22:48
always
22:48
use
22:48
the
22:49
term
22:49
intimacy
22:51
and
22:51
not.
22:51
I
22:52
mean,
22:52
obviously
22:53
we
22:53
talk
22:53
about
22:53
sex
22:53
in
22:54
therapy,
22:54
but.
22:54
But.
22:55
But
22:55
we
22:55
use
22:55
intimacy
22:56
and
22:56
intimacy.
22:58
As
22:58
you
22:59
say,
22:59
intimacy
22:59
starts
23:00
in
23:00
the
23:00
kitchen.
23:01
So
23:01
it's.
23:02
It's
23:02
the
23:03
hand
23:03
holding,
23:03
it's
23:04
the.
23:04
It's
23:05
the
23:05
leaning
23:05
in
23:05
when
23:06
they're
23:06
talking.
23:06
It's
23:07
the
23:07
pat
23:07
on
23:07
the
23:07
bottom.
23:08
It's
23:08
the,
23:08
you
23:08
know,
23:08
it.
23:09
It's
23:10
being
23:10
interested
23:10
in
23:11
one.
23:11
So
23:11
intimacy
23:12
is
23:12
something
23:12
that
23:13
can
23:13
be
23:14
going
23:14
on
23:15
all
23:15
the
23:15
time
23:16
rather
23:17
than
23:18
you're.
23:19
You're
23:20
sitting
23:20
up
23:21
stairs
23:21
watching
23:21
a
23:21
western
23:22
and
23:22
then
23:23
say,
23:23
all
23:23
right,
23:24
let's
23:24
get
23:24
it
23:24
on.
23:25
You
23:25
know,
23:25
and
23:25
that
23:26
does.
23:26
Giddy
23:27
up.
23:33
So.
23:33
Yeah.
23:34
Right.
23:34
Right.
23:35
So
23:35
that.
23:35
And.
23:36
And.
23:36
And
23:36
that's
23:37
the
23:37
biggest
23:37
thing
23:37
is
23:38
if
23:38
you
23:38
ask
23:39
what's
23:40
the.
23:40
So
23:41
the
23:41
two
23:41
biggest
23:41
things
23:41
are
23:42
intimacy
23:42
that
23:43
should
23:43
be
23:43
going
23:43
on
23:44
all
23:44
the
23:44
time
23:44
and
23:44
communication
23:45
going
23:46
on
23:46
all
23:47
the
23:47
time.
23:47
And
23:47
there's.
23:48
There's
23:49
all
23:49
sorts
23:50
of
23:50
ways
23:50
to
23:50
mess
23:50
those
23:51
up.
23:52
But.
23:53
But
23:53
to.
23:53
To.
23:54
To.
23:55
To
23:55
do
23:55
those
23:55
and
23:56
to
23:56
try
23:56
those
23:56
and
23:56
to
23:57
keep
23:57
those
23:57
alive.
23:58
That's.
23:59
Yeah,
24:00
that.
24:00
That
24:00
would
24:00
be
24:01
the
24:01
best
24:02
advice.
24:02
I
24:02
would.
24:03
And
24:03
it
24:03
means
24:03
different.
24:04
Everyone
24:05
if
24:05
we
24:05
look
24:05
at
24:05
different
24:06
thing.
24:06
You
24:07
have
24:07
to.
24:07
Figuring
24:08
out
24:08
what
24:09
is
24:09
valuable
24:10
to
24:10
your
24:10
partner.
24:11
So
24:11
you
24:12
can
24:12
say,
24:12
keep
24:12
your.
24:13
Keep
24:13
intimacy
24:14
and
24:14
connection
24:14
alive.
24:15
But
24:15
it
24:15
really
24:16
has.
24:17
And
24:17
some
24:17
of
24:17
the
24:18
things
24:18
that
24:18
I.
24:18
I
24:18
think
24:19
there
24:19
are
24:19
structures
24:20
for
24:21
things
24:21
like
24:21
the
24:21
five
24:21
love
24:22
languages.
24:22
That's
24:22
a
24:22
really
24:23
good
24:23
place
24:23
for
24:23
people
24:23
to
24:24
start.
24:24
Say
24:24
if
24:25
you
24:25
can't
24:26
even
24:26
think
24:26
about
24:28
what
24:29
is
24:29
important
24:29
to
24:30
your
24:30
partner,
24:31
you
24:31
don't.
24:31
You're
24:32
like,
24:32
I
24:32
don't
24:32
know
24:32
what
24:32
she
24:32
wants.
24:33
And
24:33
she
24:34
may
24:34
not
24:34
know
24:34
what
24:34
she
24:35
wants.
24:35
You
24:35
can
24:36
say,
24:36
let's
24:36
give
24:36
some
24:37
structure.
24:37
Say,
24:37
okay,
24:38
how
24:39
does
24:39
she
24:40
feel?
24:40
Love.
24:40
Does
24:40
she.
24:41
Does
24:41
she
24:41
want
24:42
gifts?
24:42
Does
24:42
she
24:42
want
24:43
you
24:43
to
24:43
acts
24:44
of
24:44
service
24:44
like
24:44
this?
24:45
She
24:45
just
24:45
wants
24:46
you
24:46
to
24:46
do
24:46
the
24:46
laundry,
24:47
you
24:47
know,
24:47
and
24:48
just
24:48
give
24:48
her
24:48
one
24:49
less
24:49
thing
24:49
to
24:49
do.
24:51
Can
24:51
you
24:51
tell
24:51
that's
24:52
mine?
24:52
Could
24:53
you
24:53
just
24:53
do
24:53
something?
25:32
Totally
25:34
do
25:34
a
25:34
lot
25:35
of
25:35
things.
25:35
I
25:36
accidentally
25:36
sat
25:37
down
25:37
and
25:37
watched
25:37
baseball
25:38
last
25:38
night.
25:38
You're
25:38
like,
25:39
hint,
25:39
hint.
25:40
That's
25:41
right.
25:42
And
25:42
there's.
25:43
There
25:44
are
25:44
people
25:44
who.
25:45
It's
25:45
physical
25:45
touch.
25:46
And
25:46
in
25:46
that
25:46
physical
25:47
touch
25:47
can
25:47
be
25:48
that
25:48
they
25:48
want
25:49
some
25:49
physical
25:49
touch
25:50
that
25:50
doesn't.
25:51
That
25:51
isn't
25:51
necessarily
25:53
associated
25:54
with
25:55
sex.
25:56
Right.
25:57
So
25:57
they
25:57
want
25:57
that
25:57
physical
25:58
touch
25:58
to
25:59
be.
26:00
I
26:00
don't
26:00
want
26:00
to
26:01
be.
26:01
They
26:01
don't.
26:01
I
26:02
got
26:02
all
26:02
the
26:02
time.
26:02
I'll
26:02
talk
26:03
to
26:03
patients
26:03
and
26:03
they'll
26:03
say,
26:04
well,
26:04
I
26:04
don't
26:04
want
26:04
my
26:04
foot
26:05
touch
26:05
foot
26:05
to
26:06
touch
26:06
his.
26:06
Touch
26:07
his
26:08
foot
26:08
in
26:08
bed.
26:09
Just
26:09
in
26:09
case
26:09
he
26:10
thinks
26:10
that
26:11
let's
26:11
get
26:11
it
26:11
on.
26:12
And.
26:13
And
26:13
so.
26:14
And
26:14
that
26:14
is
26:14
a
26:14
law
26:15
that's
26:16
such
26:16
a
26:16
loss
26:16
in
26:17
your
26:17
relationship.
26:17
If
26:17
you
26:18
feel
26:18
like
26:18
there's
26:18
any.
26:19
That
26:19
any
26:19
overture
26:21
is
26:21
going
26:21
to
26:21
lead
26:22
maybe
26:22
a
26:23
signal
26:23
that
26:24
you
26:24
are
26:24
going
26:25
to
26:25
have
26:25
sex,
26:26
then
26:26
you've
26:27
lost
26:27
a
26:28
lot
26:28
of
26:28
the
26:28
closeness
26:29
that
26:30
you
26:30
had.
26:30
And
26:31
so
26:31
that
26:31
physical
26:32
touch
26:32
doesn't
26:32
have
26:33
to
26:33
be
26:33
an
26:34
intimate
26:34
in
26:35
terms
26:35
of
26:35
sexual
26:35
intimacy,
26:36
but
26:37
intimacy.
26:38
It
26:38
could
26:38
be
26:39
like
26:39
you
26:39
were
26:39
when
26:40
you
26:40
were
26:40
trying
26:41
to
26:41
tell
26:42
someone
26:43
that
26:43
you
26:43
liked
26:43
them
26:45
back
26:45
in
26:45
the
26:45
day.
26:45
You're
26:46
like,
26:46
you
26:46
get
26:47
closer.
26:47
You
26:48
like
26:49
walk
26:50
with
26:50
your
26:50
hand
26:50
in
26:50
his
26:50
back
26:51
pocket.
26:51
I
26:51
was
26:51
like,
26:52
that
26:52
was
26:52
from
26:52
the
26:52
mall
26:53
when
26:53
you
26:53
walked
26:54
in
26:54
the
26:54
mall.
26:54
Totally.
26:55
And
26:55
then.
26:58
But
26:58
that.
26:59
So
26:59
we've
26:59
got
27:00
gifts
27:00
which
27:01
some
27:01
people
27:01
do
27:03
that
27:03
gift
27:03
like
27:04
bring
27:04
her
27:04
flowers.
27:06
Physical
27:06
touch.
27:07
Acts
27:08
of
27:08
service.
27:08
Quality
27:09
time.
27:09
Quality
27:09
time.
27:11
Just
27:11
the
27:11
main
27:11
thing
27:11
is
27:12
to
27:12
figure
27:12
out
27:12
which
27:12
one
27:13
you
27:13
are.
27:13
Yeah.
27:14
What
27:14
was
27:14
the
27:14
last.
27:15
I
27:15
don't.
27:16
We'll
27:16
do
27:16
the
27:16
four
27:16
love
27:17
languages,
27:18
but
27:19
that
27:19
it.
27:19
But
27:20
there
27:20
are
27:20
structure
27:21
constructs
27:22
that
27:22
you
27:22
can
27:22
say
27:23
let's
27:23
fill
27:23
this
27:24
paper
27:25
out
27:25
to
27:26
figure
27:26
it
27:26
out.
27:27
If
27:27
you
27:27
can't.
27:27
If
27:28
you
27:28
going
27:28
to
27:28
a
27:29
couple
27:29
therapists
27:30
is
27:30
great
27:30
but
27:30
not
27:30
accessible
27:31
to
27:31
everyone.
27:32
But
27:32
if
27:32
you
27:32
can
27:33
figure
27:33
out
27:33
what
27:33
that
27:33
is
27:34
and
27:34
then
27:34
say,
27:35
okay,
27:35
I'm
27:35
going
27:35
to
27:35
concentrate
27:36
on
27:37
doing
27:37
some
27:38
of
27:38
these
27:38
things
27:39
and
27:39
investing
27:40
in
27:40
our
27:40
relationship
27:41
in
27:41
that
27:41
way
27:42
for
27:42
both
27:43
of
27:43
you.
27:43
So
27:43
that
27:43
you
27:44
could
27:44
say,
27:44
okay,
27:44
this
27:45
is.
27:45
This
27:45
is
27:45
what's
27:46
going
27:46
to
27:47
help
27:47
to
27:47
get
27:47
this
27:48
framework
27:48
a
27:49
little
27:49
bit
27:49
more
27:49
solid.
27:50
And
27:50
the
27:51
moment
27:51
you
27:51
start
27:51
working
27:52
at
27:52
it,
27:53
it
27:53
gets
27:53
better.
27:54
Yeah.
27:54
Any
27:55
step.
27:55
It's
27:55
like
27:55
baby
27:56
steps
27:56
even.
27:57
And
27:57
you
27:58
know,
27:58
I
27:58
feel
27:58
like
27:59
too
27:59
there's
27:59
a
27:59
lot
28:00
of
28:00
shame
28:00
and
28:01
even
28:01
resentment
28:02
when
28:02
your
28:03
libido
28:03
doesn't
28:04
match
28:04
your
28:04
partner's
28:05
libido.
28:05
You
28:06
know,
28:06
it's
28:06
also
28:07
like
28:08
one
28:08
of
28:08
those
28:08
things
28:09
where
28:09
it's
28:09
like
28:09
you
28:09
feel
28:09
bad
28:10
if
28:10
you
28:11
know
28:11
you
28:11
don't
28:11
want
28:11
to
28:11
have
28:12
sex
28:12
and
28:12
he
28:13
does
28:13
or
28:13
vice
28:13
versa,
28:14
you
28:14
know.
28:14
And
28:15
so
28:15
how
28:15
do
28:16
we
28:16
kind
28:16
of
28:16
navigate
28:17
those
28:17
waters
28:18
when
28:18
they
28:18
don't
28:18
match?
28:19
You
28:20
just
28:20
get
28:20
it
28:20
on.
28:20
Anyway,
28:22
that's
28:22
what
28:22
we've
28:23
been
28:23
doing,
28:24
right?
28:27
No,
28:27
that's
28:27
what
28:27
a
28:28
lot
28:28
of
28:28
women
28:28
are
28:28
doing
28:29
is.
28:29
Oh,
28:29
you
28:30
mean
28:30
we,
28:30
we
28:30
as
28:31
women,
28:32
not
28:32
we
28:32
as
28:32
a
28:32
cult.
28:35
Tmi.
28:41
Yeah.
28:41
Is
28:41
there
28:42
that
28:42
libido
28:43
metric
28:43
mismatch
28:44
is
28:44
so
28:45
common
28:45
and
28:46
so
28:46
you.
28:46
I
28:47
think
28:47
it,
28:47
it,
28:47
it
28:48
is
28:48
again,
28:48
where
28:50
you
28:50
have
28:51
to
28:51
think
28:51
of
28:52
it
28:52
as.
28:54
There's
28:54
also,
28:55
there's
28:55
things
28:55
that
28:56
affect
28:56
the
28:57
hormonal
28:57
part
28:58
of
28:58
that.
28:59
And
29:00
if
29:00
you,
29:00
if
29:01
you've
29:01
ever
29:01
done
29:01
any
29:02
an
29:03
A
29:03
diet
29:03
like
29:05
that's
29:05
an
29:05
elimination
29:06
diet,
29:06
like
29:07
sugar
29:07
busters
29:08
or
29:09
keto
29:09
or
29:09
something
29:09
like
29:10
that.
29:11
At
29:11
first
29:12
when
29:12
you
29:13
cut
29:13
out
29:14
all
29:14
sugar,
29:15
let's
29:15
say
29:16
you,
29:17
that
29:17
first
29:17
couple
29:18
weeks
29:18
you're
29:18
like,
29:18
oh
29:18
my
29:18
God,
29:19
I
29:19
would
29:19
kill
29:20
for
29:20
a
29:20
Snickers.
29:21
But
29:21
then
29:22
after
29:22
you
29:22
get
29:23
to
29:23
about
29:23
six
29:23
weeks,
29:24
eight
29:24
weeks
29:24
in,
29:25
you're
29:25
like,
29:25
oh,
29:25
that
29:26
does
29:26
sounds
29:26
gross
29:27
to
29:27
me.
29:27
And
29:28
the
29:28
desire
29:28
center
29:29
of
29:29
your
29:29
brain
29:29
is,
29:30
is
29:30
programmed
29:31
that
29:31
way.
29:32
So
29:32
you
29:32
get
29:33
all
29:33
these.
29:33
This.
29:34
If
29:34
you
29:35
stop
29:35
having
29:36
sex
29:36
wherever,
29:37
whether
29:37
it's
29:37
you're
29:38
just
29:38
in
29:39
a
29:39
bad
29:40
place
29:40
emotionally
29:41
or
29:42
you're
29:42
having
29:43
pain
29:43
or
29:44
whatever
29:45
reason,
29:45
you
29:45
get
29:46
more
29:46
and
29:46
more
29:46
of
29:46
this
29:47
distance.
29:48
Your
29:48
desire
29:48
center
29:49
is
29:49
like,
29:50
that
29:50
seems
29:51
like
29:51
a
29:51
lot
29:51
of
29:52
work
29:52
and
29:52
it's
29:52
kind
29:52
of
29:53
messy
29:53
and
29:54
it
29:54
sounds
29:54
like
29:55
I've
29:55
got.
29:55
I
29:55
would
29:55
actually
29:56
rather
29:56
sleep
29:57
because
29:57
I'm
29:57
not
29:58
sleeping
29:58
well.
29:59
And
29:59
so
30:00
that
30:00
all
30:00
gets
30:01
down.
30:01
Regulated.
30:02
So
30:02
trying
30:03
to
30:03
reestablish
30:04
that
30:06
may
30:06
take
30:07
a
30:07
lot
30:07
more
30:08
mindfulness,
30:09
a
30:09
little
30:10
bit
30:10
of
30:10
sensate
30:10
focus.
30:11
Trying
30:11
to
30:12
reconnect
30:14
and
30:14
do
30:15
things
30:15
where
30:16
as
30:16
a
30:16
couple
30:17
that
30:17
are
30:18
in,
30:18
in
30:19
the
30:19
bedroom
30:20
that
30:20
aren't
30:20
necessarily
30:22
just
30:23
put
30:23
out
30:23
there.
30:24
This,
30:24
this
30:24
is
30:25
tonight
30:25
is
30:25
not
30:25
going
30:26
to
30:26
lead
30:26
to
30:26
sex.
30:29
I
30:29
do
30:30
that,
30:30
I
30:30
do
30:30
that
30:30
a
30:30
lot
30:31
with
30:31
couples
30:31
where
30:31
I
30:32
will
30:32
say,
30:34
well,
30:34
let
30:35
me
30:35
just
30:35
back
30:35
up
30:35
one
30:36
half
30:36
step.
30:38
So
30:38
if
30:38
you,
30:38
if
30:38
you
30:39
take
30:39
kind
30:39
of
30:39
a
30:40
triangle
30:41
of
30:42
women's
30:43
health
30:44
or,
30:44
and
30:45
mental
30:45
health,
30:46
there's,
30:47
there's
30:47
the
30:48
physical
30:48
health
30:49
part
30:49
of
30:49
it
30:50
and
30:50
there
30:51
is,
30:51
and
30:51
what
30:52
goes
30:52
along
30:52
with
30:52
that,
30:52
of
30:53
course
30:53
in
30:53
menopause
30:54
and
30:54
so
30:54
forth,
30:54
are
30:55
the,
30:55
the
30:56
estradiol
30:56
and
30:56
all
30:56
the,
30:57
the,
30:57
the
30:58
hormone
30:59
changes
30:59
and,
30:59
and,
31:00
and
31:00
hormone
31:00
replacement
31:02
and
31:02
so
31:02
forth.
31:02
And
31:03
whatever
31:03
it
31:03
is
31:03
that
31:04
helps
31:04
you.
31:04
Breathing
31:05
exercises,
31:05
supplements,
31:06
whatever
31:06
helps
31:07
but
31:07
then
31:07
life
31:08
keeps
31:08
going.
31:09
I
31:09
mean,
31:10
all
31:10
the
31:10
problems
31:11
of
31:11
the
31:11
day,
31:11
you
31:12
know,
31:12
the
31:12
bills
31:12
still
31:12
come
31:13
in
31:13
the
31:13
mailbox.
31:13
I
31:14
mean,
31:14
if
31:14
you
31:14
felt
31:15
zero
31:15
symptom
31:16
from
31:16
menopause,
31:17
you
31:17
would
31:17
still
31:17
have
31:17
life
31:18
coming
31:19
at
31:19
you.
31:19
I
31:20
mean,
31:20
it's.
31:20
It's
31:20
still
31:20
going.
31:21
So
31:22
to.
31:23
To
31:23
find
31:24
the.
31:25
To.
31:26
To.
31:26
To
31:27
find
31:27
the
31:27
best
31:27
combo
31:28
of
31:28
that
31:29
which.
31:29
Which
31:29
keeps
31:30
you
31:30
going.
31:31
And,
31:31
and
31:31
then.
31:33
Yeah.
31:33
Communication.
31:34
And
31:34
I
31:34
say
31:34
to
31:35
couples,
31:35
I'll
31:35
say,
31:37
all
31:37
right,
31:37
here's
31:38
what
31:38
we're
31:38
going
31:38
to
31:38
do
31:38
this
31:38
week.
31:39
You
31:39
can
31:40
be
31:41
as
31:41
physically
31:42
intimate
31:42
as
31:42
you
31:43
want
31:43
without
31:43
sex.
31:44
So
31:45
you
31:45
can
31:45
hold
31:45
hands,
31:46
you
31:46
can
31:46
sit
31:46
together,
31:47
you
31:47
can
31:47
hold
31:47
each
31:47
other,
31:47
you
31:48
can
31:48
shower
31:48
together,
31:48
you
31:49
can
31:49
do
31:49
anything.
31:49
You
31:50
can
31:50
do
31:50
whatever
31:50
you
31:50
want,
31:51
but
31:51
no
31:51
sex.
31:53
And
31:53
then
31:53
we'll
31:54
talk
31:54
about
31:54
it
31:54
next
31:55
week.
31:55
And
31:56
often
31:57
they
31:57
come
31:57
back
31:58
and
31:58
they
31:58
say,
31:59
we
31:59
had
31:59
sex
32:00
all
32:00
week.
32:00
Yeah,
32:02
interesting.
32:03
Okay.
32:04
Yeah,
32:04
yeah,
32:04
yeah.
32:05
So
32:05
part
32:05
of
32:05
it
32:06
is
32:06
that
32:07
is
32:07
okay,
32:08
we
32:08
took
32:08
away
32:09
the
32:09
pressure.
32:10
Now,
32:11
that
32:11
doesn't.
32:12
I
32:13
shouldn't
32:13
say
32:13
work
32:13
every
32:14
time.
32:14
I'm
32:14
not
32:14
trying
32:14
to
32:15
trick
32:15
them
32:15
or
32:15
doing
32:16
it.
32:16
But.
32:16
But
32:17
if
32:17
the
32:17
problem
32:18
has
32:18
been
32:18
pressure,
32:19
that
32:20
one
32:20
libido
32:21
is
32:21
here
32:21
and
32:21
one's
32:22
here,
32:23
then
32:24
then
32:24
that
32:24
can
32:24
often
32:25
take
32:26
that
32:26
away.
32:26
Or
32:27
let's
32:27
just.
32:27
Let's
32:27
just
32:27
take
32:28
the
32:28
pressure
32:28
and
32:28
just
32:29
be
32:29
together.
32:31
Yeah.
32:32
And
32:32
then
32:33
there's.
32:34
Well,
32:34
there's
32:35
all
32:35
sorts
32:35
of
32:35
other.
32:38
And
32:38
there
32:38
are
32:38
things.
32:39
Testosterone.
32:40
There
32:40
are.
32:40
Unfortunately
32:41
for
32:41
women,
32:42
there
32:42
are
32:43
not
32:43
very
32:43
many
32:44
medicines
32:44
that
32:45
actually
32:45
can
32:46
help
32:46
in
32:47
that
32:47
neurotransmitter
32:48
area
32:49
of,
32:49
like.
32:50
Because
32:50
our
32:51
problem
32:51
is
32:51
not
32:52
a.
32:53
Men
32:53
are.
32:54
Have.
32:55
You
32:55
know,
32:55
there's
32:56
desire,
32:56
arousal,
32:58
orgasm,
32:59
resolution.
32:59
So
33:00
men,
33:01
that's
33:01
the
33:01
chart
33:01
we
33:02
all
33:02
saw
33:02
in
33:02
the
33:02
seventh
33:03
grade.
33:03
Yeah,
33:04
right.
33:05
Health
33:05
class,
33:06
remember?
33:06
Yeah.
33:07
We
33:07
all.
33:08
Coach
33:08
was
33:08
teaching.
33:09
Right,
33:10
Right.
33:10
Yeah,
33:11
we
33:11
had
33:11
Mr.
33:11
World.
33:12
It
33:12
was
33:12
awesome.
33:15
And
33:15
so
33:16
they.
33:16
And
33:17
so
33:17
for
33:17
most
33:18
men,
33:19
they're
33:19
already
33:20
at
33:20
desire,
33:21
like
33:21
80%
33:22
of
33:22
the
33:22
day,
33:23
if
33:23
not
33:24
more
33:24
so.
33:25
But
33:25
the.
33:25
For
33:26
women,
33:27
they're.
33:27
They're.
33:28
That.
33:28
That
33:29
is.
33:29
Their
33:29
problem
33:30
is
33:30
typically
33:30
arousal.
33:31
So
33:31
whether
33:32
it's
33:32
erectile
33:33
dysfunction
33:34
that
33:35
they
33:35
can't.
33:36
It's
33:36
a
33:36
plumbing
33:37
problem.
33:37
And
33:37
so
33:38
they
33:38
can
33:38
take
33:39
medicines
33:39
that
33:39
vasodilate
33:40
the
33:40
vessels
33:41
of
33:41
the
33:41
penis.
33:42
And
33:42
then
33:42
they're
33:42
like,
33:43
look,
33:43
I
33:43
have
33:43
a
33:44
bone.
33:44
Let's
33:44
go.
33:44
I
33:45
mean,
33:45
that's,
33:45
That's.
33:45
And
33:46
we're.
33:47
Oh,
33:47
our
33:48
problem
33:48
is
33:49
I
33:49
can't
33:49
even
33:50
get
33:50
to,
33:51
you
33:51
know,
33:51
the
33:52
starting
33:52
line.
33:53
Right.
33:53
And
33:54
so
33:54
the.
33:55
There
33:55
are
33:55
things
33:55
that
33:56
work.
33:56
And
33:57
testosterone
33:58
is
33:58
the
33:58
only
33:59
FDA
34:00
current
34:00
FDA
34:01
indication
34:01
for
34:02
testosterone
34:03
in
34:03
women
34:03
is
34:03
for
34:04
hypoactive
34:05
sexual
34:05
desire
34:06
or
34:07
decreased
34:07
libido.
34:08
And
34:09
that's
34:09
Hypoact,
34:10
hypho,
34:11
right
34:11
hyper
34:12
low,
34:12
right.
34:12
Low,
34:13
low,
34:13
low
34:14
sexual
34:14
desire.
34:15
And
34:16
so
34:16
that
34:17
it.
34:17
And
34:17
so
34:17
it's
34:18
a
34:18
definitely
34:18
a
34:18
potent
34:19
neurotransmitter.
34:20
Now
34:20
there's
34:21
all,
34:21
all
34:21
other
34:22
thing.
34:22
Kinds
34:22
of
34:22
things
34:22
that
34:23
testosterone
34:23
does
34:23
in
34:23
other
34:24
places.
34:24
But
34:24
the
34:25
other,
34:25
the
34:25
only
34:25
other
34:26
two
34:26
medicines
34:27
there
34:27
are
34:28
for
34:28
hypoactive
34:29
low
34:30
libido
34:30
in
34:30
women
34:31
are
34:32
a
34:32
medicine
34:34
called
34:34
V,
34:36
which
34:36
is
34:36
an
34:36
injectable
34:37
medicine.
34:37
It's
34:37
Brenitide.
34:38
And
34:39
then
34:39
there
34:39
is
34:40
Addie,
34:41
which
34:41
is
34:41
an
34:41
oral
34:42
medicine
34:42
that
34:42
you
34:42
take
34:43
daily.
34:43
And
34:43
that,
34:44
and
34:45
that
34:45
those
34:46
medicines
34:46
work
34:47
in
34:47
the
34:47
desire
34:48
center
34:48
of
34:48
your
34:49
brain
34:49
and
34:50
they,
34:51
and
34:51
that
34:51
one.
34:52
And,
34:53
but
34:53
they're
34:53
not,
34:53
they
34:54
don't
34:54
work
34:54
like
34:54
Viagra
34:55
in,
34:56
in
34:56
lots
34:57
of
34:57
different
34:57
ways.
34:57
One
34:58
is
34:58
they're
34:58
not
34:59
meant
34:59
to
34:59
give
35:00
people
35:00
an
35:00
erection.
35:01
That's,
35:02
that's
35:02
what
35:02
Violet,
35:03
the
35:03
Viagra
35:04
is
35:04
supposed
35:04
to
35:04
do.
35:05
And
35:05
there
35:05
are
35:06
products
35:06
actually
35:07
women
35:07
that
35:07
have
35:08
sildenafil,
35:08
which
35:09
is
35:09
the,
35:09
there's
35:10
some
35:10
topical
35:10
things
35:10
that
35:11
can
35:11
help
35:11
with
35:11
vasodilation
35:12
of
35:12
the
35:12
clitoral
35:13
vessels
35:14
and,
35:14
but
35:15
they
35:15
don't
35:16
work
35:16
the
35:16
same
35:16
way
35:17
in
35:17
women,
35:17
unfortunately.
35:18
So
35:19
the,
35:19
the
35:20
medicines
35:21
that
35:21
are
35:21
centrally
35:22
acting
35:22
for
35:23
women
35:24
that.
35:25
It's
35:25
funny
35:26
when
35:26
I,
35:26
I
35:27
heard
35:27
the
35:27
statistic
35:28
because
35:28
when
35:29
we
35:29
think
35:29
about
35:29
things
35:30
that
35:30
work
35:30
in
35:30
the
35:30
brain,
35:31
whether
35:31
it
35:31
is
35:32
medicines
35:33
for
35:33
depression,
35:33
anxiety,
35:34
they
35:35
typically
35:35
work
35:36
in
35:36
about
35:37
60%
35:38
of
35:38
people.
35:39
That's
35:39
what
35:39
they
35:40
could
35:40
think
35:40
is
35:40
successful.
35:41
So
35:41
like
35:42
if
35:42
this
35:42
medicine
35:43
works
35:43
for
35:43
Your
35:43
depression
35:44
in
35:45
60%
35:45
of
35:45
the
35:45
people
35:45
that
35:46
tried
35:46
it,
35:46
they
35:46
did.
35:47
But
35:47
this,
35:47
these,
35:48
so
35:48
these
35:48
medicines,
35:49
they're
35:49
not
35:49
going
35:49
to
35:49
be
35:50
perfect
35:50
for
35:50
everyone,
35:51
but
35:51
they'll,
35:51
they
35:52
can
35:52
help
35:52
with
35:52
about,
35:53
in
35:53
about
35:53
60%
35:54
of.
35:54
And
35:54
you
35:55
just
35:55
have
35:55
to
35:55
try
35:55
these
35:56
different
35:56
things.
35:57
So
35:57
some
35:57
people
35:57
are
35:58
like,
35:58
oh
35:58
my
35:58
gosh,
35:58
I
35:58
could
35:59
not
35:59
live
35:59
without
35:59
my
35:59
testosterone.
36:00
I
36:00
went
36:01
on
36:01
it
36:01
and
36:01
I
36:01
feel
36:01
like
36:01
a
36:02
million
36:02
bucks.
36:02
And
36:03
then
36:03
other
36:03
people
36:03
are
36:03
like,
36:04
it's
36:04
still
36:04
not,
36:05
still
36:05
not
36:06
really
36:06
happening
36:06
for
36:06
me.
36:07
And
36:07
then
36:07
you
36:07
have
36:07
to
36:08
say
36:08
also,
36:09
are
36:09
there
36:09
maybe
36:10
some
36:10
other
36:10
parts
36:11
of
36:11
that
36:11
biopsychosocial
36:13
part
36:13
of
36:14
your
36:14
sexual
36:15
function
36:16
that
36:16
are
36:16
not
36:18
supporting,
36:18
supporting
36:19
that.
36:20
So
36:20
there
36:21
are
36:21
medicines
36:21
for,
36:22
for
36:22
hypo,
36:23
for
36:23
low
36:23
libido
36:23
in
36:24
women.
36:24
They
36:25
are,
36:25
they
36:25
don't
36:26
work
36:26
for
36:26
everyone,
36:26
but
36:27
they
36:27
do.
36:28
You
36:28
deserve
36:28
to
36:28
have
36:29
a
36:29
conversation
36:30
about
36:30
whether
36:31
those
36:31
things
36:32
might
36:32
be
36:32
helpful.
36:33
Well
36:33
for
36:33
you
36:34
and
36:34
because
36:35
there
36:35
are
36:36
some
36:36
things
36:36
out
36:36
there
36:36
and
36:37
we
36:37
hope
36:37
as
36:38
women's
36:39
health
36:39
gets
36:39
more
36:41
money
36:42
put
36:42
into
36:42
research,
36:43
which
36:43
is
36:43
like,
36:44
come
36:44
on
36:44
now
36:46
that
36:46
we'll
36:46
get
36:47
more
36:47
products
36:48
that
36:48
will
36:48
be
36:49
available
36:49
and,
36:50
and
36:50
we're
36:51
hoping
36:51
to
36:51
get
36:51
a
36:51
female
36:52
dose
36:52
testosterone
36:53
within
36:53
the
36:53
next
36:53
two
36:54
years.
36:54
So
36:54
that
36:55
is,
36:55
that
36:55
will
36:56
be
36:56
helpful
36:56
too.
36:57
So
36:58
a
36:58
friend
36:58
of
36:58
mine
36:58
started
36:59
testosterone.
37:00
She
37:00
loves
37:00
it.
37:00
And
37:01
she
37:01
is
37:01
like,
37:02
you
37:02
know,
37:02
the
37:03
gardener
37:03
comes
37:03
over
37:04
and
37:04
she's
37:04
like,
37:04
I'm
37:04
looking
37:05
sideways
37:05
at
37:05
him
37:05
out
37:06
the
37:06
window
37:06
because
37:07
her
37:07
desire
37:08
has
37:08
come
37:08
back.
37:09
You
37:09
know,
37:09
like,
37:09
she's
37:10
like
37:10
getting
37:11
excited
37:11
and
37:11
she
37:12
has
37:12
said
37:12
it
37:12
has
37:12
been
37:13
really
37:13
effective
37:14
for
37:14
her
37:15
sex
37:15
drive.
37:16
So
37:16
that's
37:17
interesting
37:17
that
37:18
the,
37:18
the
37:18
conversation
37:19
continues
37:19
with
37:19
testosterone.
37:20
So
37:21
it
37:21
looks
37:21
like
37:21
we'll
37:22
be
37:22
seeing
37:22
some
37:22
new
37:23
developments
37:24
in
37:24
these
37:24
next
37:25
coming
37:25
years.
37:26
We
37:26
hope.
37:27
We.
37:27
It
37:28
is,
37:29
it's.
37:29
It
37:29
is
37:30
something
37:30
that's
37:31
actually
37:32
sort
37:32
of
37:32
crazy
37:33
that
37:34
they
37:34
have.
37:35
Not
37:35
that
37:35
the
37:36
FDA
37:37
has
37:38
not
37:38
moved
37:39
forward
37:39
with
37:39
approving
37:40
a
37:40
FDA
37:43
a
37:44
dose
37:45
of
37:45
testosterone
37:46
for
37:46
women
37:47
because
37:47
they
37:47
don't
37:48
think
37:48
it's
37:48
safe.
37:49
Even
37:49
though
37:49
we
37:49
have
37:50
tremendous
37:50
safety
37:51
data.
37:52
Women
37:52
have
37:52
been
37:52
using
37:53
it
37:53
for
37:54
many,
37:54
many
37:55
years.
37:55
And
37:56
we,
37:57
we
37:57
know
37:57
that
37:57
it
37:58
is
37:58
safe
37:58
because
37:58
we
37:59
use
37:59
it
37:59
in
37:59
much
38:01
higher
38:01
doses
38:02
for
38:02
women,
38:03
for
38:04
trans
38:05
men
38:06
who
38:07
are
38:07
using
38:08
that.
38:08
And
38:08
we
38:09
know
38:09
how
38:09
it
38:09
works.
38:10
If
38:11
they
38:11
saying
38:11
we
38:11
don't
38:12
know
38:12
how
38:12
it
38:12
works
38:12
in
38:12
women
38:13
when
38:13
we
38:14
use
38:14
it
38:14
in
38:14
trans
38:15
men,
38:16
that
38:16
is
38:16
what
38:17
we
38:17
see
38:17
at
38:17
much,
38:18
much
38:18
higher
38:18
doses.
38:19
And
38:19
we
38:19
know
38:19
that
38:19
it
38:20
is
38:20
safe.
38:21
So
38:21
it
38:21
is
38:22
been
38:22
a
38:23
little
38:23
bit
38:23
crazy
38:23
that
38:24
we
38:24
haven't
38:24
had
38:24
more.
38:27
More.
38:28
Movement
38:29
from
38:29
the
38:29
FDA
38:29
on
38:30
approving
38:30
it.
38:30
And
38:31
one
38:31
of
38:31
my
38:33
mentors
38:34
who
38:34
I
38:34
just
38:34
think
38:34
the
38:35
world
38:35
of,
38:35
who's
38:35
a
38:35
big
38:35
researcher
38:36
in
38:36
sexual
38:37
medicine,
38:37
Jim
38:37
Simon,
38:38
said
38:38
he
38:38
was
38:39
actually
38:39
in
38:39
a
38:39
meeting
38:39
with
38:40
the
38:40
FDA
38:41
and
38:42
he
38:42
was
38:43
talking
38:43
about
38:43
getting
38:44
these
38:44
drugs
38:45
approved.
38:46
And
38:46
he.
38:47
There
38:47
was
38:48
actually
38:48
someone
38:49
from
38:49
the
38:49
FDA
38:50
and
38:50
the
38:50
end
38:51
who
38:51
said,
38:52
well,
38:53
this
38:53
is
38:54
not
38:54
really
38:54
a
38:54
priority
38:55
because
38:56
women
38:56
don't
38:56
have
38:57
to
38:57
have
38:57
an
38:57
orgasm
38:58
to
38:58
have
38:58
sex.
39:00
And
39:00
that
39:00
was
39:01
a
39:01
woman
39:02
from
39:02
the
39:02
fda.
39:03
What?
39:04
Yes.
39:05
Oh,
39:06
I
39:06
shouldn't
39:06
have
39:06
probably
39:06
said
39:07
call
39:07
it,
39:07
but
39:07
that,
39:08
but
39:08
so
39:08
they're
39:09
like,
39:09
this
39:09
is
39:09
just
39:09
like,
39:10
oh,
39:10
well,
39:10
yeah.
39:11
Now
39:11
everybody's
39:11
googling
39:12
fda.
39:14
This
39:14
was
39:15
a
39:15
long
39:15
time
39:15
ago.
39:15
Yeah,
39:17
that.
39:17
Yeah,
39:18
right.
39:18
What
39:18
government
39:19
function
39:19
would
39:20
not
39:20
want
39:20
increased
39:22
women's
39:22
sexual
39:23
function?
39:23
It
39:24
is,
39:24
yeah,
39:25
it's.
39:25
It's
39:25
kind
39:25
of
39:25
crazy.
39:26
But,
39:26
but
39:27
yeah,
39:27
I
39:27
think
39:27
that
39:27
the.
39:28
Main
39:28
thing
39:28
is
39:28
that'll,
39:28
that'll
39:29
turn
39:29
around,
39:29
that'll
39:29
come.
39:30
That
39:30
you
39:30
deserve
39:31
to
39:31
at
39:31
least
39:31
have
39:31
the
39:32
conversation.
39:32
And
39:33
there
39:33
are
39:33
safer
39:34
and
39:34
less
39:34
safe
39:34
ways
39:35
to
39:35
deliver
39:36
testosterone.
39:37
And
39:38
you,
39:39
there
39:39
are
39:39
definitely
39:40
side
39:40
effects
39:40
that
39:40
you
39:41
potentially
39:41
can
39:41
have
39:41
if
39:42
your
39:42
levels
39:42
get
39:42
too
39:43
high.
39:43
So
39:43
you
39:43
have
39:43
to
39:44
go
39:44
to
39:44
someone
39:44
who
39:44
is
39:44
doing
39:44
it
39:45
for
39:45
responsibly
39:46
and
39:46
checking
39:46
your
39:47
levels
39:47
and
39:47
making
39:47
sure
39:47
because
39:48
you
39:48
don't
39:48
want
39:48
hair
39:48
loss
39:48
on
39:49
your
39:49
head,
39:49
you
39:49
don't
39:49
want
39:49
that
39:49
hair
39:50
growing
39:50
places.
39:51
You
39:51
don't.
39:51
You
39:52
don't
39:52
want
39:52
to
39:52
have
39:52
your
39:52
voice
39:52
change
39:53
and
39:53
what,
39:53
have
39:54
acne.
39:55
So
39:55
you.
39:55
Yeah,
39:56
you
39:56
have
39:56
to
39:56
be.
39:56
It's.
39:57
You
39:57
have
39:57
to
39:57
view.
39:57
Nobody
39:58
wants
39:58
hair
39:58
loss.
40:00
Yeah,
40:02
that's
40:02
already
40:03
coming
40:03
with
40:03
perimenopause.
40:05
Yes.
40:05
And
40:05
again,
40:06
there
40:06
are
40:06
ways
40:06
of
40:06
managing
40:07
that
40:07
too.
40:07
That's
40:07
a
40:08
whole.
40:08
Another
40:08
conversation.
40:08
But.
40:09
So,
40:10
so,
40:10
yeah,
40:10
it
40:11
is.
40:11
It
40:11
is
40:12
reconnecting
40:13
and
40:13
seeing
40:13
which
40:14
part
40:14
of
40:14
it
40:14
is.
40:14
If
40:15
it
40:15
is
40:15
just
40:15
the
40:16
desire.
40:16
Is
40:17
it
40:17
desire
40:17
that's
40:18
bio.
40:18
That's
40:19
biologically
40:20
mediated,
40:21
or
40:21
is
40:22
it
40:22
the
40:22
loss
40:22
of.
40:22
I
40:23
think,
40:23
I
40:23
think
40:23
you're
40:23
hitting
40:24
it
40:24
on
40:24
there
40:24
because
40:25
the.
40:25
So
40:25
if
40:26
somebody
40:26
is
40:27
listening
40:27
to
40:27
this
40:28
and
40:29
wanting
40:31
intimacy
40:32
and,
40:32
and
40:33
sexual
40:33
activity
40:34
and
40:34
so
40:34
forth
40:34
back.
40:36
Yeah,
40:36
there's.
40:36
There's
40:38
a
40:38
few
40:39
points,
40:40
starting
40:40
points,
40:40
and
40:41
you're
40:41
exactly
40:41
right.
40:42
Would
40:42
it
40:42
be
40:42
physical?
40:43
I
40:43
mean,
40:43
is
40:43
there.
40:44
Is
40:44
there
40:44
a
40:44
problem
40:44
physically?
40:45
Am
40:46
I
40:46
depressed?
40:48
Is
40:48
it.
40:49
Is
40:49
it
40:49
a.
40:49
Is
40:50
it
40:50
closeness?
40:52
Is
40:53
it.
40:53
I'm
40:53
just
40:53
not
40:53
sleeping.
40:55
Right,
40:56
right,
40:56
right.
40:58
We're
40:59
kind
40:59
of
40:59
jumping
40:59
all
41:00
over
41:00
the
41:00
place.
41:00
But
41:00
to,
41:01
To.
41:01
But
41:01
we're
41:02
hitting
41:02
on
41:02
all
41:02
the
41:02
points
41:03
and,
41:03
and
41:03
to
41:04
find
41:04
your
41:05
starting
41:05
point,
41:05
to
41:06
find
41:06
where
41:06
it
41:06
is
41:06
that
41:07
you
41:07
are.
41:08
Wow.
41:09
If
41:09
I,
41:09
If
41:09
I
41:09
start
41:10
on
41:10
this
41:10
path,
41:11
then
41:11
it
41:11
will
41:11
lead
41:12
the
41:13
right
41:13
direction.
41:15
Is
41:15
a.
41:16
Yeah,
41:17
it's.
41:17
It's.
41:18
It's
41:18
really
41:18
important
41:19
in
41:19
how
41:19
quickly
41:20
this
41:21
can
41:21
turn
41:21
around.
41:21
And
41:21
you
41:22
take
41:22
something
41:22
just
41:22
as
41:22
simple
41:23
as
41:24
couples
41:24
counseling.
41:25
Man,
41:26
you
41:26
talk
41:26
about
41:26
that
41:27
is
41:27
that
41:27
is
41:28
the
41:28
type
41:28
of
41:28
counseling
41:29
that
41:29
gets
41:30
the
41:30
most
41:30
results
41:31
the
41:31
quickest.
41:32
I
41:32
mean,
41:33
you
41:33
can.
41:33
You
41:34
can
41:34
do.
41:34
You'll
41:34
hear
41:35
about
41:35
folks
41:35
that
41:35
are
41:36
going
41:36
to
41:36
individual
41:37
counseling
41:37
for
41:37
years,
41:38
and
41:39
you'll
41:39
hear
41:39
about
41:39
some
41:39
couples,
41:40
but
41:40
it's
41:40
more
41:40
of
41:40
a
41:41
maintenance.
41:41
It's
41:41
more
41:41
of
41:41
a
41:42
checkup.
41:42
It's
41:42
more
41:42
of
41:43
an
41:43
oil
41:43
change.
41:43
It's
41:44
more.
41:45
But,
41:46
but
41:46
gosh,
41:46
there
41:47
is.
41:47
There
41:47
can
41:48
be
41:48
a.
41:48
A
41:49
lot
41:49
of
41:49
work
41:49
done
41:50
pretty,
41:51
pretty
41:51
quick.
41:52
I
41:52
feel
41:53
like
41:53
two
41:53
women
41:53
in
41:54
midlife
41:54
and
41:54
just
41:55
from
41:55
talking
41:56
to
41:56
other
41:56
women
41:56
at
41:57
this
41:57
point
41:57
in
41:57
life
41:58
feel
41:58
stuck.
41:59
Like,
41:59
they're
41:59
like,
42:00
oh,
42:00
like
42:00
it
42:01
sounds
42:01
like,
42:01
you
42:01
know,
42:02
I've
42:02
got
42:02
a
42:02
plan
42:02
or
42:03
I've
42:03
talked
42:03
about
42:04
this,
42:04
but,
42:04
like,
42:04
I
42:05
can't
42:05
even
42:05
just
42:05
make
42:06
that
42:06
first
42:06
step.
42:07
So
42:08
what
42:08
kind
42:08
of
42:08
advice
42:09
would
42:09
you
42:09
guys
42:09
give
42:10
to
42:10
them
42:10
if
42:10
they
42:10
feel
42:11
stuck?
42:11
They
42:11
want
42:12
the
42:12
change,
42:12
you
42:13
know,
42:13
they
42:13
want
42:13
it
42:13
to
42:13
happen,
42:14
but
42:14
they
42:15
don't
42:15
even
42:15
know
42:15
how
42:16
to
42:16
do
42:16
it
42:16
or
42:16
where
42:17
to
42:17
start
42:17
or
42:17
where
42:17
to
42:17
begin.
42:19
From
42:20
the
42:21
sort
42:21
of
42:21
other
42:21
side
42:22
of
42:22
the
42:22
coin,
42:24
I
42:24
have
42:25
a
42:25
big
42:26
group
42:26
of
42:28
lucky
42:28
to
42:28
have
42:29
some
42:29
good
42:30
friends
42:30
in
42:30
town
42:30
and
42:30
so
42:31
forth.
42:31
And
42:31
and
42:32
let
42:32
me
42:32
tell
42:32
you
42:34
six
42:34
months
42:34
ago
42:34
if
42:35
you
42:35
had
42:35
told
42:35
me
42:36
I
42:36
would
42:36
be
42:37
giving
42:38
giving
42:38
talks
42:39
on
42:39
menopause
42:40
I
42:40
yeah
42:42
they
42:42
probably
42:42
wouldn't
42:43
wouldn't
42:43
have
42:43
believed
42:44
you.
42:44
And
42:45
again
42:45
it's
42:45
not
42:46
me
42:46
that
42:46
I'm
42:46
more
42:46
talking
42:47
the
42:47
the
42:48
every
42:48
man
42:48
and
42:49
the
42:49
and
42:49
the
42:49
and
42:49
the
42:50
couples
42:50
part
42:50
of
42:50
it
42:50
but
42:52
so
42:52
many
42:52
of
42:53
them
42:54
even
42:54
though
42:54
everybody
42:55
made
42:55
fun
42:55
of
42:55
me
42:56
so
42:56
many
42:56
of
42:56
them
42:57
have
42:57
come
42:58
to
42:58
me
42:58
and
42:59
said
43:00
and
43:00
they
43:00
come
43:01
to
43:01
me
43:01
individually
43:01
and
43:01
I
43:02
mean
43:02
it'll
43:02
be
43:02
in
43:02
a
43:02
bar
43:03
or
43:03
something
43:03
and
43:04
they'll
43:04
say
43:05
hey
43:05
listen,
43:05
yeah
43:06
it's
43:06
time
43:06
to
43:06
go
43:06
to
43:06
bars.
43:07
Oh
43:07
yeah.
43:08
And
43:08
watch
43:08
Philly's
43:09
lucky
43:09
Ham.
43:10
Gosh,
43:11
I
43:11
wish
43:12
I
43:12
had
43:12
that
43:12
time.
43:13
Yeah.
43:15
Anyway,
43:16
back
43:16
to
43:16
me
43:17
the
43:18
no
43:18
but
43:18
people
43:19
will
43:19
come
43:19
they'll
43:20
come
43:20
up
43:20
to
43:20
me
43:20
and
43:20
they'll
43:21
say
43:21
hey
43:22
my
43:22
wife
43:22
is
43:23
or
43:23
my
43:23
wife's
43:23
having
43:23
pain
43:24
with
43:24
or
43:24
da
43:24
da.
43:25
Or
43:25
is
43:25
there
43:25
something
43:25
that
43:26
can
43:26
be
43:26
done
43:26
and
43:27
and
43:27
both
43:27
of
43:28
them
43:28
are
43:29
afraid
43:29
to
43:29
ask
43:29
the
43:30
question.
43:30
I
43:30
mean
43:30
it's
43:31
it's.
43:31
And
43:32
so
43:32
where
43:33
to
43:33
go
43:34
first
43:34
would
43:34
probably
43:35
be
43:36
the,
43:37
the
43:37
answer
43:38
and
43:38
and
43:39
I
43:39
I
43:39
would
43:40
imagine,
43:41
I
43:41
would
43:41
imagine
43:41
your
43:42
physician
43:42
and
43:42
just
43:43
kind
43:43
of
43:43
yes.
43:44
You
43:44
would
43:44
think
43:45
but
43:45
I
43:45
have
43:46
seen
43:46
many
43:46
many
43:47
women
43:47
who
43:47
have
43:47
gone
43:48
and
43:48
it's
43:48
been
43:49
dismissed.
43:49
I
43:50
had
43:50
one
43:50
person
43:51
who
43:51
told
43:51
me
43:51
that
43:52
she
43:53
went
43:53
to
43:53
a
43:55
older
43:55
male
43:56
physician
43:57
who
43:57
and
43:58
she
43:58
was
43:58
having
43:58
pain
43:58
with
43:59
intercourse
43:59
she
44:00
needed.
44:02
She
44:02
asked
44:03
him
44:03
about
44:04
vaginal
44:04
dilators
44:05
and
44:05
he
44:05
said
44:06
well
44:06
your
44:07
husband's
44:07
walking
44:07
around
44:08
with
44:08
a
44:08
vaginal
44:09
dilator
44:09
in
44:09
his
44:09
pants
44:10
every
44:10
day.
44:11
Oh
44:12
my
44:12
God,
44:13
no
44:14
no,
44:14
no.
44:15
And
44:15
so
44:15
that
44:16
kind
44:16
of
44:17
dismissing
44:18
it
44:19
it's
44:19
hard
44:19
enough
44:19
to
44:20
bring
44:20
it
44:20
up
44:21
but
44:21
you
44:21
the
44:22
fear
44:22
of
44:22
being
44:22
dismissed
44:23
is
44:24
horrible.
44:24
And
44:25
so
44:25
there
44:25
are
44:25
a
44:25
couple
44:26
of
44:26
places
44:26
that
44:27
you
44:27
can
44:27
go
44:27
for
44:28
more
44:28
reliably
44:31
be
44:31
able
44:31
to
44:31
get
44:32
someone
44:32
who
44:32
is
44:34
educated
44:35
in
44:35
contemporary
44:36
menopause
44:36
care
44:36
and
44:37
sexual
44:37
health.
44:38
1
44:38
It
44:38
would
44:38
be
44:41
the
44:41
Menopause
44:42
Society
44:42
website
44:43
for
44:43
look
44:43
to
44:43
find
44:44
a
44:44
provider
44:45
the
44:45
Menopause
44:46
Society
44:46
is
44:46
people
44:47
who
44:47
have
44:47
done
44:47
extra
44:48
education
44:49
specifically
44:49
to
44:50
address
44:50
menopause.
44:51
And
44:51
then
44:52
the
44:52
other
44:52
the
44:53
second
44:53
one
44:53
and
44:53
I
44:54
think
44:54
for
44:54
sexual
44:55
health
44:55
is
44:55
even
44:55
better
44:56
which
44:56
is
44:56
the
44:56
International
44:57
Society
44:57
for
44:58
the
44:58
Study
44:58
of
44:58
Women's
44:59
Sexual
44:59
Health
45:00
that
45:00
is
45:00
the
45:01
organization
45:01
that
45:02
does
45:03
research
45:04
promotes
45:04
research
45:05
and
45:06
and
45:07
evidence
45:07
based
45:08
care
45:09
is
45:09
the
45:09
International
45:10
Society
45:11
for
45:11
Study
45:12
of
45:12
Women's
45:13
Sexual
45:13
Health
45:13
which
45:14
is
45:14
is
45:14
which
45:14
which
45:15
just
45:15
you
45:15
know
45:16
super
45:16
rolls
45:17
off
45:17
the
45:17
tongue
45:17
ISS
45:18
W
45:19
S
45:20
H
45:21
do
45:22
Org
45:24
and
45:24
so
45:25
that
45:25
you
45:25
and
45:26
find
45:26
a
45:27
find
45:27
a
45:27
provider
45:27
but
45:28
they
45:28
also
45:28
have
45:29
a
45:29
a
45:30
site
45:30
that
45:30
is
45:31
for
45:31
patient
45:32
facing
45:32
education
45:33
called
45:33
PROA.
45:35
Again
45:35
I
45:35
don't
45:35
have
45:35
no
45:36
Idea
45:36
why
45:36
that.
45:36
What
45:37
that
45:37
name
45:37
comes
45:38
from.
45:38
But
45:38
it's.
45:38
But
45:39
the
45:39
issuance
45:40
will
45:41
is
45:41
a
45:41
really
45:42
good
45:42
resource
45:43
and
45:43
it's
45:43
gonna.
45:43
Yes.
45:44
And
45:44
they
45:44
have.
45:45
They
45:46
have
45:46
people
45:46
that
45:46
are
45:47
gynecologists,
45:47
pelvic
45:48
health,
45:49
sexual
45:50
sex
45:50
counselors,
45:51
all
45:52
of
45:52
these
45:52
things.
45:53
And
45:53
then
45:54
if
45:54
you're
45:54
looking
45:55
more
45:56
for
45:57
a
45:57
psychologist,
45:58
actually,
45:58
don't
45:59
you
45:59
think
45:59
like
45:59
Psychology
46:00
Today,
46:00
believe
46:01
it
46:01
or
46:01
not,
46:01
has
46:01
a
46:02
website
46:02
and.
46:03
And
46:03
it's
46:04
very
46:04
helpful
46:05
of
46:05
putting
46:05
in
46:06
what
46:06
you're
46:06
looking
46:06
for.
46:07
So
46:08
looking
46:08
for
46:09
OCD
46:09
or
46:10
you're
46:10
looking
46:10
for
46:10
the.
46:11
That
46:12
I'm
46:13
eye
46:13
movement
46:14
kind
46:14
of
46:14
what
46:14
is.
46:14
Yeah.
46:15
Or
46:15
test.
46:15
Whatever
46:15
you're
46:16
like.
46:16
Then
46:16
you
46:17
can
46:17
say,
46:17
okay,
46:17
I
46:17
want
46:18
someone
46:18
doing
46:18
couples
46:19
therapy
46:19
or
46:20
sex
46:20
therapy.
46:21
And
46:21
you
46:21
can
46:21
find
46:21
that.
46:22
Yeah,
46:22
it
46:22
narrows
46:23
it
46:23
down.
46:23
And
46:23
every
46:24
psychologist
46:25
and
46:25
psychiatrist
46:26
are.
46:27
Are
46:27
on
46:28
it
46:29
or
46:29
on
46:29
psychology
46:30
because.
46:31
Yeah,
46:31
yeah,
46:31
yeah.
46:32
So.
46:32
So
46:33
trying
46:33
to
46:33
find
46:34
the
46:34
resources
46:37
that
46:38
when
46:38
you
46:38
don't
46:39
know
46:39
where
46:39
to
46:39
start.
46:40
Right.
46:41
Is
46:41
that
46:42
those
46:42
would
46:42
be
46:43
some
46:43
places
46:44
where
46:44
you
46:44
can
46:44
say,
46:45
you
46:45
don't
46:46
have
46:46
to
46:46
do
46:46
it
46:46
on
46:46
your
46:46
own.
46:47
You
46:47
don't
46:47
have
46:47
to
46:47
figure
46:47
it
46:47
all
46:48
out
46:48
on
46:48
your
46:48
own.
46:48
There
46:49
should.
46:49
There
46:49
are
46:49
people
46:49
that
46:50
can
46:50
help
46:50
you
46:50
with
46:51
that
46:51
and
46:51
try
46:51
to
46:51
figure
46:52
out
46:52
what
46:52
are
46:52
the
46:52
right
46:53
hormones.
46:53
Do
46:54
I
46:54
need
46:54
hormones?
46:54
Do
46:54
I
46:55
need
46:55
something
46:55
different?
46:56
But
46:57
that's
46:58
it.
46:58
Yeah,
46:59
that's.
46:59
Yep,
47:00
yep.
47:01
You're
47:01
like,
47:01
that's
47:02
it.
47:02
That's
47:02
where
47:02
you
47:03
go.
47:03
That's
47:03
all
47:03
I
47:03
have
47:03
to
47:04
say
47:04
about
47:04
that.
47:07
So
47:08
let's
47:08
talk
47:09
fantasies.
47:10
Because
47:11
fantasies
47:11
are
47:12
a
47:12
big
47:12
part
47:12
of
47:12
intimacy
47:13
and
47:13
sex.
47:15
You
47:15
know,
47:15
everybody
47:16
probably
47:16
has
47:17
some
47:17
sort
47:17
of
47:17
a
47:17
fantasy
47:18
here
47:18
and
47:18
there.
47:20
Do
47:20
you
47:20
think
47:20
it's
47:21
a
47:21
good
47:21
idea
47:21
for
47:22
couples
47:22
to
47:23
show.
47:23
Share
47:24
fantasies
47:24
with
47:25
each
47:25
other
47:25
or
47:25
is
47:25
it
47:26
better
47:26
to
47:26
keep
47:26
it
47:27
a
47:27
mystery?
47:28
So
47:29
to
47:29
talk
47:29
about
47:29
them
47:30
with
47:30
each
47:30
other,
47:31
their
47:31
fantasies?
47:32
Correct.
47:33
Oh,
47:33
no,
47:34
absolutely.
47:34
I
47:35
mean,
47:35
communication
47:36
would.
47:36
Yeah,
47:36
yeah,
47:37
yeah.
47:37
I
47:37
mean
47:37
that.
47:39
I.
47:41
Well,
47:41
in
47:41
talking
47:42
to
47:43
a
47:43
lot
47:43
of
47:43
couples,
47:45
it's.
47:46
It's
47:47
amazing
47:48
how
47:49
simple
47:49
sometimes
47:50
some
47:50
of
47:50
the
47:50
fantasies
47:51
can
47:51
be
47:52
and
47:52
they
47:52
have
47:52
not
47:53
shared
47:53
it.
47:54
They.
47:55
They
47:55
just.
47:56
They
47:56
haven't
47:56
shared
47:56
it
47:57
with
47:57
their
47:57
partner.
47:58
And
47:58
so.
47:59
Yeah,
48:00
I
48:00
mean,
48:00
you're
48:00
just
48:00
kind
48:01
of
48:01
adrift
48:02
if.
48:03
If
48:03
you
48:03
wanted
48:03
those
48:04
things
48:04
you're
48:04
talking
48:05
about.
48:05
I
48:05
guess
48:06
there's
48:06
different
48:06
types
48:06
of
48:07
fantasies
48:07
that
48:08
you.
48:08
Because
48:09
there's
48:09
ones
48:09
that
48:10
can
48:10
be
48:11
realized
48:12
with
48:12
your
48:13
partner
48:13
and
48:14
then
48:14
there's
48:14
things
48:14
that
48:15
are
48:15
going
48:15
to
48:15
be
48:15
things
48:16
that
48:16
are
48:16
not
48:19
that
48:19
don't
48:19
involve
48:20
your
48:20
partner.
48:20
And
48:20
so.
48:20
And
48:21
I
48:21
think
48:21
that.
48:21
I
48:22
would
48:22
think
48:22
that
48:22
some
48:22
people
48:23
may
48:23
not
48:24
be.
48:26
May
48:26
feel
48:26
threatened
48:27
by
48:27
that.
48:27
There
48:28
may
48:28
be
48:28
something.
48:28
Oh,
48:28
okay.
48:29
Yeah.
48:29
Oh.
48:30
I
48:30
always
48:30
think
48:31
of
48:31
my
48:32
ex
48:32
Girlfriend
48:33
when
48:33
I'm
48:33
having
48:33
sex
48:33
with
48:33
you.
48:34
Yeah.
48:34
Yeah.
48:34
That's
48:34
probably
48:35
not
48:35
what
48:35
you
48:35
want,
48:36
right?
48:38
Yeah,
48:38
I
48:38
would
48:38
be
48:38
careful.
48:39
Yeah.
48:41
No,
48:41
but
48:42
yeah,
48:42
yeah,
48:42
yeah.
48:42
But
48:42
if
48:43
it's,
48:43
yeah,
48:44
if
48:44
it's.
48:44
I've
48:45
always
48:45
wanted
48:45
to
48:45
do
48:45
it
48:45
at
48:46
the
48:46
beach
48:47
or
48:47
something
48:48
like
48:48
that,
48:48
you
48:48
know,
48:49
then
48:49
absolutely
48:50
you
48:50
gotta,
48:50
you
48:50
gotta
48:51
let
48:51
them
48:51
in
48:51
on
48:51
that.
48:52
But
48:52
it's
48:52
a
48:52
pretty,
48:53
the
48:53
thing
48:54
is
48:54
that
48:54
with,
48:54
with
48:55
a
48:55
couple,
48:55
I
48:55
think
48:56
that
48:56
most
48:56
people
48:57
have
48:57
a
48:57
pretty,
48:58
pretty
48:59
clear
48:59
line
49:00
of
49:00
what,
49:01
what
49:01
would
49:01
be
49:02
crossing
49:02
and
49:03
what
49:03
would
49:03
make
49:03
them
49:03
uncomfortable
49:04
or
49:04
what
49:04
would
49:05
hurt
49:05
their
49:05
feelings
49:06
or
49:06
what
49:06
would
49:06
do
49:06
something
49:07
like
49:07
that.
49:08
Yeah.
49:08
And
49:09
I
49:09
guess
49:09
it's
49:09
something
49:10
you.
49:10
Yes.
49:11
You
49:11
can
49:11
pick
49:11
and
49:12
choose
49:12
those
49:12
things.
49:13
So
49:13
sharing
49:13
to
49:13
a
49:14
point.
49:14
Yeah.
49:14
But
49:14
I
49:14
think
49:15
that
49:15
one
49:15
thing
49:15
that
49:15
I
49:16
do
49:16
we
49:17
see
49:17
that's
49:17
an
49:18
important
49:18
tool
49:18
for
49:19
in
49:19
midlife
49:20
is
49:20
you
49:20
do
49:21
when
49:21
you
49:21
lose
49:22
your
49:22
estrogen,
49:23
one
49:23
of
49:23
the
49:23
things
49:24
you
49:24
lose
49:24
is
49:25
that
49:25
dopaminergic
49:26
control
49:27
of,
49:27
of
49:28
executive
49:28
functioning.
49:30
So
49:30
people
49:30
that
49:31
have
49:31
ADD
49:33
before
49:34
menopause,
49:35
it
49:35
increases
49:35
by
49:36
about
49:36
60%
49:37
which
49:38
is
49:38
horrible.
49:38
And
49:38
then,
49:39
and,
49:39
and
49:40
then
49:40
if
49:40
you
49:40
have,
49:41
if
49:41
you
49:41
didn't
49:42
it
49:42
you,
49:42
it
49:42
increases
49:43
by
49:43
about
49:43
30%.
49:44
And
49:45
so
49:45
when
49:45
you
49:45
look
49:46
at
49:46
one
49:46
of
49:46
the
49:46
things
49:47
that's
49:47
really
49:47
interesting
49:48
nerdy
49:49
like
49:50
this
49:51
is
49:51
that
49:51
when
49:52
you
49:52
look
49:52
at
49:54
functional
49:54
MRIs
49:55
where
49:56
that
49:56
light
49:57
up
49:57
different
49:57
parts
49:57
of
49:58
your
49:59
brain
49:59
when
49:59
they're
50:00
stimulated
50:00
and
50:01
if
50:01
you
50:01
look
50:01
at
50:01
ones
50:02
because
50:02
they
50:02
do
50:02
do
50:02
this
50:03
where
50:03
they
50:03
have
50:03
it
50:04
where
50:04
people
50:04
are
50:04
having
50:05
sex
50:05
and
50:06
in
50:06
an
50:06
MRI
50:07
machine
50:07
which
50:08
who
50:08
doesn't
50:08
have
50:08
that
50:09
fantasy
50:10
but,
50:10
but
50:11
they
50:11
have.
50:12
So
50:13
when
50:13
they,
50:13
when
50:13
they
50:14
light
50:14
up,
50:14
light
50:15
up
50:15
during
50:16
sex
50:16
and
50:17
then
50:17
in
50:17
orgasm,
50:18
you
50:19
cannot
50:20
have
50:21
this
50:21
part
50:21
of
50:21
your
50:22
brain,
50:22
the
50:22
frontal
50:23
L,
50:23
which
50:23
is
50:24
in,
50:24
in
50:24
charge
50:25
of
50:26
keeping
50:26
everything
50:26
organized
50:27
and
50:28
executing
50:29
things
50:31
has
50:31
to
50:31
go
50:32
completely
50:33
dark
50:33
to
50:34
have
50:34
an
50:34
orgasm.
50:35
When
50:35
you
50:36
look
50:36
at
50:36
it,
50:36
it's,
50:37
it's
50:37
like
50:38
not
50:38
functioning.
50:39
Which
50:40
is
50:40
why
50:40
it's
50:40
so
50:40
easy
50:41
for
50:41
men.
50:42
Yeah,
50:43
our
50:43
brains
50:44
just
50:44
stop.
50:45
There
50:45
you
50:45
go.
50:45
You
50:45
said
50:46
it.
50:48
So,
50:48
so
50:49
if
50:49
you
50:49
are
50:50
someone
50:50
who
50:50
is
50:51
struggling
50:51
with
50:52
controlling
50:52
and
50:52
that,
50:53
that,
50:53
that
50:54
part
50:54
of
50:54
your
50:54
brain
50:54
is
50:54
just
50:55
firing
50:55
off,
50:55
firing
50:55
off
50:56
all
50:56
the
50:56
time,
50:57
then
50:58
you,
50:59
then
50:59
it's
51:00
going
51:00
to
51:00
be
51:00
harder
51:01
for
51:01
you
51:01
to
51:01
have
51:02
an
51:02
orgasm.
51:03
And
51:03
that's
51:03
part
51:03
of
51:04
why
51:04
one
51:04
of
51:05
the
51:05
reasons
51:05
that
51:05
women
51:05
can
51:06
have
51:06
find
51:06
it
51:07
harder
51:07
to
51:07
orgasm
51:08
in
51:08
midlife.
51:09
And
51:09
so
51:10
one
51:10
of
51:10
the
51:10
things
51:11
that,
51:11
that
51:11
we
51:12
talk
51:12
about
51:12
is
51:13
how
51:13
to
51:14
override
51:14
that.
51:14
And
51:15
I
51:15
promise
51:15
I'm
51:15
bringing
51:16
it
51:16
around
51:16
is
51:17
that
51:17
some
51:18
sensate
51:18
focus
51:19
which
51:19
is
51:19
just
51:20
concentrating
51:20
on
51:21
the
51:21
sensations
51:22
and
51:22
it,
51:23
and
51:23
focusing
51:24
on
51:24
the
51:24
sensations
51:25
is
51:25
one
51:25
way,
51:26
but
51:26
also
51:27
fantasy
51:28
can
51:28
also
51:29
be
51:29
an
51:29
important
51:30
tool
51:30
for
51:30
midlife
51:31
women
51:32
to
51:32
use
51:33
when
51:33
they
51:33
are
51:34
in
51:34
the
51:34
midst
51:35
or
51:35
trying
51:36
to
51:36
focus
51:38
on
51:39
there
51:40
to
51:40
get
51:40
to
51:40
orgasm.
51:41
Because
51:42
that.
51:43
You
51:43
need
51:43
to
51:44
occupy
51:45
your
51:45
brain
51:45
a
51:46
little
51:46
bit
51:46
and
51:46
get
51:46
it
51:47
to
51:47
focus
51:48
not
51:48
on,
51:49
you
51:49
know,
51:51
do
51:51
I
51:51
need
51:51
to
51:51
pick
51:51
up
51:52
the
51:52
dry
51:52
cleaning?
51:53
Or
51:53
you
51:53
need
51:53
it
51:54
to
51:54
focus
51:54
in
51:55
on
51:55
something
51:56
that's
51:56
internal
51:57
to
51:57
the
51:57
situation
51:59
so
51:59
that
51:59
you
51:59
can
52:00
actually
52:00
get
52:00
to
52:01
orgasm.
52:02
And
52:02
so
52:02
fantasy
52:03
is
52:03
an
52:03
important
52:04
part
52:04
of
52:04
thing
52:05
of,
52:05
of
52:06
midlife
52:06
sex.
52:07
And
52:07
whether
52:08
that
52:09
that
52:10
fantasy
52:10
is
52:10
something
52:11
that
52:11
you
52:11
feel
52:12
comfortable
52:12
sharing
52:13
or
52:13
not,
52:14
or
52:14
if
52:14
you're
52:14
like,
52:14
I'm
52:15
just
52:15
going
52:15
to
52:15
keep
52:15
this
52:15
into.
52:16
Because
52:17
it
52:17
may
52:17
be
52:18
like,
52:18
I'm
52:18
not
52:18
thinking
52:18
about
52:19
you
52:19
at
52:19
all.
52:19
That
52:20
may
52:20
not
52:20
go
52:20
over
52:20
real
52:21
well.
52:21
But
52:22
it,
52:22
but
52:22
it's.
52:22
It
52:23
is.
52:23
I
52:24
want
52:24
to
52:24
be
52:24
intimate
52:25
in
52:25
this
52:25
moment
52:25
and
52:26
it's
52:26
hard
52:26
for
52:26
me
52:26
to
52:27
stay
52:27
focused.
52:28
And
52:28
that's
52:29
a,
52:29
That's
52:30
a
52:30
whole
52:30
other
52:30
thing
52:31
anyway.
52:31
So
52:31
that's.
52:32
That's
52:32
my
52:32
take
52:33
on,
52:33
on
52:33
that.
52:34
When
52:34
we're
52:35
going
52:35
into
52:35
our
52:35
OB
52:36
GYNs
52:36
and
52:37
our
52:37
GPS,
52:38
are
52:38
there
52:38
any
52:39
like,
52:39
tests
52:39
that
52:40
we
52:40
should
52:40
be
52:40
asking
52:41
them
52:41
for?
52:42
Like
52:42
that
52:42
we
52:43
could
52:43
test
52:43
like
52:43
our
52:43
sec.
52:44
You
52:44
know,
52:44
sexual
52:45
health
52:45
and
52:46
you
52:46
know,
52:47
from
52:47
that
52:47
end,
52:47
like,
52:48
is
52:48
there
52:48
any.
52:49
Are
52:49
there
52:49
any
52:49
specific
52:50
tests
52:50
that
52:50
we
52:50
should
52:50
be
52:51
asking?
52:51
Well,
52:51
there's
52:52
a
52:52
few
52:52
things
52:52
that
52:53
I.
52:53
That
52:53
come
52:53
to
52:54
mind
52:54
that
52:54
is
52:54
just
52:55
that
52:56
you
52:57
really
52:57
need.
52:57
If
52:58
you're
52:58
having
52:58
any
52:59
pain
52:59
or
53:00
you're
53:00
feeling
53:00
it,
53:00
they
53:01
really
53:01
need
53:01
to
53:01
look
53:02
and
53:02
try
53:02
to
53:02
help
53:03
you
53:03
figure
53:03
out
53:04
where
53:04
is
53:04
that
53:04
pain
53:05
coming
53:05
from.
53:06
Is
53:06
it
53:07
just
53:07
superficial
53:08
pain
53:08
because
53:09
you
53:09
have
53:09
a
53:09
little.
53:09
That
53:10
you
53:10
need
53:10
some
53:10
estrogen
53:11
or
53:11
has
53:12
it.
53:12
A
53:12
lot
53:12
of
53:12
times
53:13
you'll
53:13
have
53:13
that,
53:14
that
53:15
if
53:15
you
53:15
have
53:16
any
53:16
dryness,
53:16
even
53:17
intermittently,
53:18
your
53:18
muscles
53:19
are
53:19
like,
53:19
well,
53:19
keep
53:19
that
53:20
thing
53:20
out
53:20
of
53:20
there.
53:21
And
53:21
so
53:21
you
53:22
get
53:22
a
53:22
lot
53:22
of
53:22
muscular,
53:23
hyper.
53:25
Hypertrophy
53:26
where
53:26
the
53:27
muscles
53:27
cannot
53:28
relax.
53:29
And
53:29
so
53:29
people
53:30
are
53:30
like,
53:30
well,
53:30
I'm
53:31
using
53:31
lube,
53:31
but
53:32
that
53:32
it
53:32
feels
53:33
like
53:33
he's
53:33
hitting
53:34
into
53:34
a
53:34
wall.
53:35
Because
53:35
it's.
53:36
The
53:36
muscles
53:37
of
53:37
your
53:37
pelvic
53:38
floor
53:38
are
53:39
so
53:39
tight.
53:40
And
53:40
so
53:40
you
53:41
need
53:41
your
53:41
doctor
53:42
to
53:42
be
53:42
like,
53:42
okay,
53:42
is
53:43
this
53:43
just
53:43
a
53:44
superficial
53:45
problem
53:45
or
53:45
is
53:46
this.
53:46
Do
53:46
I
53:46
need
53:46
to
53:46
see
53:46
a
53:47
pelvic
53:47
physical
53:47
therapist
53:48
to
53:48
help
53:48
with
53:49
a
53:49
muscular
53:50
problem?
53:51
And
53:51
so,
53:51
so
53:52
that's
53:52
the
53:52
first
53:52
part.
53:53
It's
53:53
just.
53:54
And
53:54
are
53:54
there.
53:55
What's
53:55
going
53:55
on
53:55
with
53:55
the
53:56
clitoris?
53:56
Can
53:56
you
53:57
even
53:57
see
53:57
the
53:57
clitoris
53:57
anymore?
53:58
Is
53:58
it
53:58
just.
53:59
Is
53:59
the
53:59
clitoris
54:00
so
54:01
diminished
54:01
that
54:01
maybe
54:02
I
54:02
need
54:02
to
54:02
use
54:02
a
54:02
little.
54:03
I
54:03
need
54:03
a
54:03
little
54:04
estrogen
54:04
testosterone
54:05
to
54:05
the.
54:06
To
54:06
around
54:06
that
54:07
area
54:07
to
54:07
Try
54:07
to
54:08
help
54:08
with
54:08
that.
54:09
Are
54:09
there
54:09
adhesions
54:10
around
54:10
the
54:10
clitoris?
54:11
A
54:11
lot
54:11
of
54:11
people
54:12
aren't
54:12
even
54:12
looking
54:12
at
54:13
that.
54:13
And
54:13
they
54:14
say
54:14
if
54:14
you're,
54:14
if
54:15
you've
54:15
lost
54:15
your
54:15
orgasm,
54:16
that
54:16
can
54:16
be
54:16
part
54:17
of
54:17
it.
54:17
It
54:17
just
54:17
can
54:18
be
54:18
that
54:18
the
54:18
clitoris
54:18
is,
54:19
is
54:19
diminished
54:20
or
54:21
it's,
54:21
it's
54:21
adherent
54:22
to
54:22
the
54:23
tissue
54:23
that
54:23
it
54:23
needs
54:24
to
54:24
be
54:24
freed.
54:24
So
54:25
then,
54:25
then
54:25
we
54:25
go
54:25
into,
54:27
and
54:27
then
54:27
to
54:28
go
54:28
in
54:28
it
54:28
a
54:28
little
54:29
bit
54:29
further,
54:29
you
54:30
can
54:30
get
54:30
your,
54:30
test
54:31
your
54:31
testosterone
54:32
level
54:32
and
54:32
there's
54:33
no
54:33
testosterone
54:33
level.
54:34
That's
54:34
like
54:34
this
54:34
is
54:35
exactly
54:35
where
54:36
it's
54:36
supposed
54:36
to
54:36
be.
54:37
But
54:37
if
54:37
you
54:37
see
54:38
that
54:38
it's
54:38
undetectable.
54:40
I
54:40
mean
54:41
I'll
54:41
have,
54:41
I'll
54:41
test
54:42
people's
54:42
testosterone
54:43
and
54:43
it'll
54:43
be
54:43
like,
54:43
okay,
54:44
well
54:44
you
54:44
have
54:45
essentially
54:45
none.
54:45
I
54:46
mean,
54:46
so
54:46
then
54:47
that
54:47
way,
54:47
like,
54:48
okay,
54:48
well
54:48
maybe
54:48
this
54:49
would
54:49
be
54:49
helpful.
54:49
It's
54:49
at
54:50
least
54:50
something
54:50
we
54:50
could
54:51
try.
54:53
And
54:54
then,
54:54
and
54:54
just
54:55
so
54:55
these
54:55
are,
54:55
that
54:56
would
54:56
be
54:56
where
54:56
the.
54:57
A
54:57
testosterone,
54:58
sex
54:58
hormone
54:58
binding
54:59
globulin,
54:59
which
54:59
is
55:00
another
55:00
thing
55:00
that's
55:01
too
55:01
complicated
55:01
but
55:02
needs
55:02
to
55:02
be
55:02
tested
55:02
as
55:03
well.
55:03
But
55:03
it
55:04
binds
55:04
up
55:04
your
55:04
circulating
55:05
testosterone.
55:06
So
55:06
even
55:06
if
55:06
you
55:06
have
55:06
testosterone,
55:07
it
55:07
can't
55:07
fit
55:08
into
55:08
the
55:08
receptor.
55:09
It's
55:09
like
55:09
it's
55:09
wearing
55:09
a
55:10
sock.
55:10
So
55:11
it's
55:11
like.
55:11
And
55:12
so
55:12
those
55:13
things
55:13
can
55:13
be
55:14
helpful
55:15
to
55:15
try
55:15
to
55:16
see
55:16
if
55:16
it's
55:16
a
55:17
biochemical
55:18
problem,
55:18
is
55:19
it
55:19
a
55:19
structural
55:20
problem.
55:21
And
55:22
so
55:22
I
55:22
think
55:23
that's
55:23
it.
55:23
And
55:23
so,
55:23
and
55:24
back
55:24
to
55:25
what
55:25
you
55:25
said
55:25
about
55:27
make
55:27
sure
55:27
that
55:27
you
55:28
go
55:28
to
55:28
a
55:28
doctor
55:28
that
55:29
knows
55:29
to
55:29
test
55:30
these
55:30
things,
55:31
that,
55:32
that
55:32
is
55:32
familiar
55:33
with
55:33
all
55:33
of
55:33
these.
55:34
Yeah,
55:35
that's
55:35
one
55:35
of
55:35
the
55:35
craziest
55:36
things
55:36
is
55:36
that
55:36
you
55:36
go
55:37
to
55:37
a
55:37
doctor
55:37
sometime
55:38
and
55:38
they
55:38
know
55:38
nothing.
55:39
Like
55:39
an
55:39
OB
55:40
GYN
55:40
sometimes
55:41
knows
55:41
very
55:42
little
55:42
about
55:43
menopause.
55:44
And,
55:44
and
55:45
really
55:45
to
55:45
no
55:46
fault
55:46
because
55:46
in
55:46
med
55:47
school
55:47
it
55:48
was
55:48
not
55:48
really
55:48
taught
55:49
when
55:49
they
55:49
were
55:49
in
55:49
med
55:50
school,
55:50
was
55:50
it?
55:51
We
55:51
had,
55:51
we
55:51
just
55:52
hired
55:52
the
55:52
most
55:53
lovely
55:53
new
55:54
resident
55:55
and
55:55
for
55:56
our
55:56
practice
55:56
and
55:57
she
55:57
is
55:57
delightful
55:58
and
55:58
she's
55:59
fantastic
56:00
surgeon
56:00
and
56:01
she
56:01
is
56:01
an
56:01
amazing
56:02
obstetrician
56:03
and
56:03
delivering
56:03
babies,
56:04
she
56:04
can
56:04
take
56:04
care
56:04
of
56:05
any
56:05
high
56:05
risk
56:05
thing.
56:06
She
56:06
knows
56:07
almost
56:07
zero
56:08
about
56:09
menopause.
56:09
So
56:09
she's
56:10
always
56:10
coming
56:10
down
56:10
the
56:11
hall
56:11
to
56:11
me
56:11
be
56:11
like,
56:11
hey,
56:12
I
56:12
have
56:12
this
56:12
person,
56:12
can
56:12
you
56:13
teach
56:13
me
56:13
about
56:13
this?
56:14
And,
56:14
and
56:15
I'm
56:15
happy
56:15
to
56:15
do
56:16
it.
56:16
In
56:16
fact,
56:16
she
56:16
actually
56:16
had
56:17
a
56:17
baby
56:18
two
56:18
days
56:18
ago
56:19
and
56:19
I
56:19
brought
56:19
her
56:19
a
56:19
little
56:20
packet
56:20
on
56:20
menopause
56:21
for
56:21
her
56:21
to
56:21
look
56:21
at
56:22
while
56:22
she's
56:22
on
56:22
maternity.
56:24
She's
56:24
like,
56:24
oh,
56:25
I
56:25
was
56:25
expecting
56:26
like
56:26
maybe
56:26
a
56:26
cute
56:27
blanket,
56:27
but
56:28
thank
56:28
you.
56:28
This
56:28
is
56:29
Take
56:29
this
56:29
packet
56:30
on
56:30
minimum.
56:31
So
56:31
it
56:31
is.
56:32
This
56:32
is
56:32
a
56:32
person
56:33
who
56:33
just
56:33
finished
56:34
residency
56:35
in
56:35
July
56:36
and
56:37
from
56:37
a
56:37
very
56:38
good
56:39
training
56:39
program.
56:40
But
56:40
it
56:40
is
56:40
a
56:41
lot
56:41
to
56:41
pack
56:42
in.
56:42
And
56:42
it's
56:42
so
56:43
much.
56:43
It's
56:43
so
56:43
much
56:44
more
56:44
nuanced.
56:45
If
56:46
there's
56:46
a
56:46
bleeding
56:47
uterus
56:47
and
56:47
you
56:48
take
56:48
it
56:48
out,
56:48
it
56:48
stops
56:49
bleeding.
56:50
So
56:50
you've
56:50
solved
56:51
that
56:51
problem.
56:51
But
56:52
this
56:52
is.
56:52
It's
56:52
so
56:53
much
56:53
more
56:53
nuanced
56:54
to
56:54
teach
56:55
people
56:55
about
56:55
how
56:55
to
56:56
take
56:56
care
56:56
of
56:56
menopause
56:57
and
56:57
perimenopause.
56:59
It's
56:59
really.
56:59
You
57:00
can't
57:00
do
57:00
it
57:00
in
57:01
one
57:01
lecture.
57:01
You
57:01
can't
57:02
do
57:02
it
57:02
in.
57:02
I.
57:02
I
57:02
went
57:03
to
57:03
Iswitch,
57:04
which
57:04
is
57:04
a
57:05
really
57:05
fabulous
57:05
learning
57:07
society,
57:08
and
57:08
I
57:08
went
57:09
for
57:09
several
57:10
years
57:10
before
57:10
I
57:11
felt
57:11
like
57:11
I
57:11
was
57:11
even
57:12
starting
57:12
to
57:13
get
57:14
capable
57:15
of.
57:15
Of
57:16
treating
57:16
my
57:16
menopausal
57:17
patients.
57:19
When
57:19
Kate
57:19
took
57:20
that
57:20
pamphlet
57:21
on
57:21
menopause
57:23
to
57:23
the
57:24
doctor
57:24
and
57:25
she
57:26
handed
57:26
it
57:26
to
57:26
her
57:27
and
57:27
then
57:27
also
57:27
made
57:28
her
57:28
cut
57:28
off
57:28
the
57:28
Phillies
57:29
game
57:30
so
57:30
that
57:30
she
57:30
would
57:30
read
57:31
it.
57:31
Yeah,
57:31
don't
57:32
pay
57:32
attention
57:32
to
57:32
this
57:32
cute
57:33
baby.
57:33
I
57:33
want
57:33
you
57:34
to
57:34
look
57:35
studying.
57:36
Now's
57:36
the
57:36
time
57:37
for
57:37
work.
57:38
To
57:39
be
57:39
fair,
57:39
it
57:39
was
57:39
just
57:40
coincidence.
57:40
I
57:40
had
57:40
that
57:41
packet
57:41
for
57:41
her
57:41
already,
57:42
but
57:42
I
57:43
was
57:43
like,
57:43
since
57:43
I'm
57:44
here.
57:45
Yeah,
57:45
yeah,
57:45
yeah.
57:46
Here's
57:46
your
57:46
little
57:46
light
57:47
reading.
57:47
It's
57:47
fine.
57:50
Yeah,
57:50
that
57:50
baby's
57:50
gonna
57:51
be
57:51
asleep
57:51
in
57:51
a
57:51
good
57:51
bit
57:51
of
57:52
the
57:52
time,
57:52
so.
57:52
And
57:53
you
57:53
don't
57:53
need
57:53
to
57:53
sleep
57:54
with
57:54
babies.
57:55
Be
57:55
studying.
57:56
Go
57:56
to
57:57
somebody
57:57
that
57:58
knows.
57:58
Knows
57:59
what
57:59
they're
57:59
doing.
57:59
Yeah.
58:00
So,
58:00
absolutely.
58:01
You
58:01
know,
58:01
I
58:01
think.
58:02
I
58:02
think
58:02
to
58:02
women,
58:04
because
58:04
our
58:04
bodies
58:05
are
58:05
changing
58:05
so
58:05
much,
58:06
like,
58:06
physically,
58:06
just
58:07
the
58:07
appearance
58:08
of
58:08
our
58:09
bodies,
58:09
that
58:10
also
58:10
becomes
58:10
such
58:11
a
58:11
mental
58:11
block
58:11
with
58:12
sex
58:12
and,
58:12
like,
58:12
intimacy,
58:13
too,
58:13
because
58:13
you
58:13
kind
58:14
of
58:14
look
58:14
at
58:14
yourself
58:15
and
58:15
you're
58:15
like,
58:15
this
58:15
is
58:15
not
58:16
my
58:16
body.
58:16
Like,
58:17
this
58:17
body
58:17
is,
58:17
like,
58:18
different
58:18
than
58:19
when
58:19
I
58:19
was
58:19
in
58:19
my
58:19
20s
58:20
and
58:20
30s
58:20
and
58:21
even
58:21
early
58:21
40s.
58:22
So
58:22
what
58:23
do
58:23
you
58:23
say
58:23
to
58:23
those
58:23
women
58:24
that
58:24
feel
58:24
like,
58:24
the
58:24
loss
58:25
of
58:25
confidence
58:26
even
58:26
within
58:26
their
58:27
body
58:27
to
58:28
kind
58:28
of
58:28
put
58:28
it
58:28
all
58:29
out
58:29
there,
58:29
even
58:29
with
58:29
their
58:29
partner?
58:30
I
58:31
have
58:31
asked.
58:31
It
58:32
is.
58:32
It
58:32
is
58:32
funny.
58:35
I
58:35
have
58:36
had
58:36
women
58:38
complain
58:38
about
58:39
In.
58:39
In.
58:39
In
58:40
therapy
58:40
and
58:41
with
58:41
the
58:42
guy
58:42
sitting
58:42
right
58:43
next
58:43
to
58:43
him
58:44
who's
58:44
just
58:44
holding
58:45
up
58:45
his
58:45
hands
58:45
and
58:46
saying,
58:46
I.
58:47
I
58:48
like
58:48
the
58:48
way
58:48
you
58:49
look.
58:49
I
58:49
don't.
58:50
I
58:50
don't
58:50
know
58:50
what
58:50
else
58:51
to
58:51
say.
58:51
I.
58:52
I
58:52
like,
58:54
you
58:54
know,
58:54
how.
58:54
How.
58:55
How
58:55
you
58:56
look.
58:56
And
58:56
we.
58:57
We
58:57
were
58:57
talking
58:57
with.
58:59
On.
59:00
On
59:00
another
59:00
podcast,
59:01
a
59:01
comedian
59:02
that's.
59:03
That's
59:03
our
59:03
age,
59:04
and
59:04
he
59:04
says.
59:05
He
59:05
says,
59:06
I.
59:07
My.
59:08
He
59:08
was
59:08
on
59:08
the
59:08
algorithms
59:09
of.
59:10
Of
59:10
dating
59:11
websites
59:12
or
59:12
whatever,
59:12
where
59:12
it
59:13
was
59:13
sending
59:14
him
59:14
20
59:15
and
59:15
30
59:16
year
59:16
olds
59:17
and.
59:17
And.
59:17
And
59:18
he
59:18
just
59:18
kept
59:18
flying
59:19
by
59:19
him
59:19
and
59:19
then
59:20
it.
59:20
When
59:20
it
59:20
was
59:20
somebody
59:21
50
59:22
that
59:22
he
59:23
stopped.
59:24
And
59:24
so
59:25
I
59:25
think
59:26
partners
59:27
as
59:27
they
59:27
get
59:27
older
59:28
also
59:29
like.
59:31
Like
59:32
somebody
59:33
the
59:33
same
59:33
age.
59:34
I
59:34
don't
59:35
know.
59:35
I
59:35
mean
59:35
speaking
59:36
for
59:36
men,
59:36
not
59:36
all
59:37
of
59:37
them
59:37
but
59:37
I
59:37
mean
59:37
it's.
59:38
But
59:38
I
59:38
mean
59:38
it's
59:39
gonna
59:39
be.
59:40
Yeah
59:40
yeah
59:40
yeah.
59:41
But
59:41
to
59:41
have
59:41
the
59:42
confidence.
59:43
Gosh,
59:44
confidence.
59:44
Just
59:45
confidence
59:45
itself
59:46
is
59:46
sexy
59:47
and
59:47
and
59:48
to.
59:48
And
59:49
to.
59:49
To
59:49
maintain
59:50
that.
59:51
And
59:52
a
59:52
lot
59:52
of
59:52
times
59:53
again
59:53
guys
59:53
will
59:54
feel
59:54
helpless
59:54
because
59:55
wait
59:55
a
59:55
minute.
59:55
I
59:56
like
59:56
the
59:56
package.
59:57
I
59:57
like
59:57
how.
59:58
I
59:58
like
59:58
how
59:58
you.
59:58
Well
59:59
I.
59:59
So
59:59
I
59:59
go
1:00:00
back
1:00:00
one
1:00:00
of
1:00:01
the
1:00:02
fit
1:00:02
my
1:00:02
favorite
1:00:03
old
1:00:03
country
1:00:04
songs
1:00:04
with
1:00:05
as
1:00:06
now.
1:00:06
I
1:00:06
guess
1:00:06
it's
1:00:07
very.
1:00:07
It's
1:00:07
old
1:00:08
but
1:00:08
Randy
1:00:08
Travis
1:00:09
had
1:00:09
that
1:00:10
line
1:00:10
in
1:00:10
one
1:00:11
of
1:00:11
his
1:00:11
songs
1:00:11
that
1:00:12
said,
1:00:12
you
1:00:12
know,
1:00:13
I
1:00:13
didn't
1:00:13
fall
1:00:14
in
1:00:14
love
1:00:14
with
1:00:14
your
1:00:14
hair.
1:00:15
Right.
1:00:16
So
1:00:17
that.
1:00:19
And
1:00:20
it's.
1:00:20
If
1:00:20
it
1:00:21
is
1:00:21
something
1:00:21
that
1:00:22
is
1:00:22
forever
1:00:23
and
1:00:23
it's
1:00:23
not
1:00:23
the
1:00:24
person
1:00:24
you're
1:00:24
not
1:00:24
in
1:00:25
love
1:00:25
with.
1:00:26
You
1:00:26
know,
1:00:26
if
1:00:27
you
1:00:27
have.
1:00:27
If
1:00:28
you
1:00:28
have
1:00:29
a
1:00:29
role
1:00:29
or
1:00:29
not
1:00:30
don't
1:00:30
have
1:00:30
a
1:00:30
role
1:00:31
or
1:00:31
what's
1:00:32
appealing
1:00:32
to
1:00:32
you
1:00:32
or
1:00:33
not.
1:00:33
Most
1:00:34
of
1:00:34
us
1:00:34
are.
1:00:34
Are
1:00:36
looking
1:00:36
for
1:00:36
connection
1:00:37
from
1:00:38
sexual
1:00:38
activity.
1:00:38
You're
1:00:39
looking
1:00:39
for
1:00:40
endorphins
1:00:40
and
1:00:41
release
1:00:41
but
1:00:42
you're
1:00:42
looking
1:00:42
for
1:00:42
connection.
1:00:43
And
1:00:44
that
1:00:44
body
1:00:44
confidence
1:00:47
is
1:00:47
an
1:00:47
important
1:00:48
part
1:00:48
of
1:00:48
your
1:00:48
own
1:00:49
Libya
1:00:49
for.
1:00:50
Especially
1:00:50
for.
1:00:50
But
1:00:51
understanding
1:00:52
that.
1:00:52
That
1:00:53
your
1:00:53
partner
1:00:54
is
1:00:54
really
1:00:54
looking
1:00:55
for
1:00:55
that
1:00:55
connection.
1:00:56
Right.
1:00:56
Not
1:00:56
necessarily
1:00:57
for
1:00:58
just
1:00:58
that
1:01:00
that
1:01:00
the.
1:01:00
Visuals
1:01:01
perfect
1:01:02
figure
1:01:02
or
1:01:03
whatever
1:01:04
and.
1:01:05
But
1:01:05
there
1:01:05
is
1:01:05
a
1:01:06
but
1:01:06
there
1:01:06
is
1:01:06
a
1:01:06
whole.
1:01:07
There's.
1:01:07
It's
1:01:07
a
1:01:07
whole
1:01:08
lot
1:01:08
of
1:01:08
changes
1:01:08
and
1:01:09
if
1:01:09
I
1:01:09
have
1:01:09
patience
1:01:10
we
1:01:10
like
1:01:10
a.
1:01:10
Little
1:01:10
pat
1:01:11
our
1:01:12
precious
1:01:12
metals.
1:01:16
Feel
1:01:16
free
1:01:16
to
1:01:16
steal
1:01:17
that
1:01:17
one.
1:01:17
Good
1:01:17
point.
1:01:19
That's
1:01:20
right.
1:01:20
I
1:01:20
will.
1:01:22
Exactly
1:01:24
Tina.
1:01:27
So
1:01:28
it.
1:01:28
It
1:01:29
is.
1:01:29
It's.
1:01:30
It
1:01:30
is
1:01:30
that
1:01:31
but
1:01:31
losing
1:01:32
that
1:01:32
confidence
1:01:32
and
1:01:32
you're
1:01:33
not
1:01:33
who
1:01:33
you
1:01:33
were
1:01:33
and
1:01:34
you're
1:01:34
not
1:01:34
look.
1:01:34
You
1:01:35
look
1:01:35
at
1:01:35
yourself
1:01:35
and
1:01:36
you're
1:01:36
very
1:01:37
be
1:01:37
very
1:01:37
judgmental.
1:01:38
I'm
1:01:38
actually
1:01:38
working
1:01:40
on
1:01:40
a
1:01:40
program
1:01:40
for
1:01:41
women
1:01:41
for
1:01:41
body
1:01:42
confidence
1:01:43
because
1:01:44
it
1:01:44
is
1:01:44
such
1:01:45
a.
1:01:45
This
1:01:45
time
1:01:46
you
1:01:46
do
1:01:47
lose
1:01:47
that
1:01:47
body
1:01:48
confidence
1:01:48
and,
1:01:49
and
1:01:49
reconnecting
1:01:50
with
1:01:50
that
1:01:51
is.
1:01:51
Is
1:01:52
really
1:01:52
important.
1:01:53
And
1:01:53
how
1:01:53
do
1:01:54
you
1:01:54
get
1:01:54
back
1:01:55
to
1:01:55
appreciating
1:01:57
what's
1:01:58
going
1:01:58
on
1:01:58
in
1:01:58
your.
1:01:59
In
1:01:59
your
1:01:59
body
1:02:00
and,
1:02:01
and
1:02:02
appreciating
1:02:04
that
1:02:05
is
1:02:05
the
1:02:05
beginning
1:02:06
of
1:02:06
confidence.
1:02:08
Yes,
1:02:08
but
1:02:09
it
1:02:09
is
1:02:09
a
1:02:09
pain
1:02:09
when
1:02:09
you
1:02:10
have
1:02:10
to
1:02:10
buy
1:02:10
new
1:02:10
jeans
1:02:10
because
1:02:11
it's
1:02:11
just
1:02:11
a
1:02:11
pain.
1:02:13
Nobody
1:02:13
likes
1:02:13
to
1:02:13
buy
1:02:14
new
1:02:14
jeans.
1:02:14
The
1:02:15
weight
1:02:15
shows
1:02:15
up
1:02:15
in
1:02:16
all
1:02:16
these
1:02:16
crazy
1:02:17
places.
1:02:17
You
1:02:18
know,
1:02:18
it's
1:02:18
like
1:02:18
my
1:02:19
mom
1:02:19
called.
1:02:19
It
1:02:19
the
1:02:19
shifting
1:02:20
sands
1:02:20
of
1:02:21
time.
1:02:23
Yes.
1:02:24
So
1:02:24
poetic.
1:02:25
Yes.
1:02:26
Yeah,
1:02:27
but
1:02:28
it
1:02:28
is.
1:02:28
She's
1:02:28
like,
1:02:29
I
1:02:29
weigh
1:02:29
exactly
1:02:29
the
1:02:30
same.
1:02:30
It's
1:02:30
just
1:02:30
not
1:02:31
in
1:02:31
the
1:02:31
same
1:02:31
places.
1:02:32
Yes,
1:02:33
yes,
1:02:34
it's
1:02:34
true.
1:02:36
Metabolism
1:02:37
does
1:02:37
definitely
1:02:37
changes.
1:02:38
And
1:02:39
it's.
1:02:39
And
1:02:40
it,
1:02:40
it
1:02:40
is.
1:02:41
And
1:02:41
that
1:02:42
can't.
1:02:42
Estrogen
1:02:43
is,
1:02:43
I
1:02:44
will
1:02:44
say
1:02:44
that
1:02:45
estrogen
1:02:46
and,
1:02:46
and
1:02:46
progesterone
1:02:47
and
1:02:47
those
1:02:48
contribute
1:02:49
to
1:02:50
those
1:02:50
changes,
1:02:51
but
1:02:52
they.
1:02:53
So
1:02:53
helping
1:02:54
to
1:02:54
get
1:02:55
the
1:02:56
estrogen
1:02:57
low
1:02:58
estrogen
1:02:58
can
1:02:59
contribute
1:02:59
to
1:02:59
insulin
1:03:00
resistance
1:03:01
and
1:03:01
there's
1:03:01
a
1:03:01
whole
1:03:02
feedback
1:03:03
system
1:03:03
that
1:03:04
goes
1:03:04
into
1:03:04
that.
1:03:05
So
1:03:05
people
1:03:06
are
1:03:06
like,
1:03:07
now
1:03:07
that
1:03:07
my
1:03:07
hormones
1:03:08
are
1:03:08
back
1:03:08
where
1:03:08
they
1:03:09
were,
1:03:10
why
1:03:10
am
1:03:11
I
1:03:11
not
1:03:11
losing
1:03:12
all
1:03:12
this
1:03:12
weight?
1:03:13
And
1:03:14
it's
1:03:14
because
1:03:16
estrogen
1:03:17
and
1:03:17
progesterone
1:03:17
and
1:03:18
testosterone
1:03:19
are
1:03:19
not
1:03:19
weight
1:03:20
loss
1:03:20
medicines.
1:03:21
They
1:03:21
can
1:03:21
help
1:03:21
to
1:03:22
stop
1:03:23
the
1:03:25
changes
1:03:26
in
1:03:26
the
1:03:26
metabolism
1:03:27
that
1:03:27
you
1:03:27
have,
1:03:28
but
1:03:28
they're
1:03:28
not
1:03:29
necessarily
1:03:29
going
1:03:30
to
1:03:30
have
1:03:30
you
1:03:30
help
1:03:31
you
1:03:31
lose
1:03:31
weight.
1:03:32
And
1:03:33
so
1:03:33
it
1:03:33
will
1:03:33
have
1:03:33
to
1:03:34
be
1:03:34
looking
1:03:34
at
1:03:34
other
1:03:35
increasing
1:03:36
muscle
1:03:36
mass
1:03:36
and
1:03:37
God,
1:03:37
like,
1:03:38
yes,
1:03:38
I
1:03:38
hear
1:03:39
you
1:03:39
eat
1:03:40
more
1:03:40
protein.
1:03:41
But
1:03:41
like,
1:03:42
everybody's
1:03:42
like,
1:03:43
but
1:03:43
it
1:03:43
is.
1:03:43
If
1:03:43
you.
1:03:44
For
1:03:44
us
1:03:45
to
1:03:45
reset
1:03:45
some
1:03:46
of
1:03:46
that
1:03:46
set
1:03:46
point,
1:03:47
we
1:03:48
have
1:03:48
to
1:03:48
increase
1:03:49
our
1:03:49
muscle
1:03:49
mass
1:03:51
and,
1:03:52
and
1:03:52
try
1:03:53
to.
1:03:53
And
1:03:53
so
1:03:53
that's
1:03:54
why
1:03:54
the
1:03:54
resistance
1:03:55
exercise,
1:03:56
once
1:03:56
you
1:03:56
do,
1:03:56
if
1:03:57
you
1:03:57
do
1:03:57
choose
1:03:57
or
1:03:58
are
1:03:58
able
1:03:58
to
1:03:58
do
1:03:59
or
1:03:59
hormone
1:03:59
therapy
1:04:00
or
1:04:00
if
1:04:01
you
1:04:01
choose
1:04:01
to,
1:04:02
then
1:04:03
that
1:04:03
can
1:04:03
be
1:04:04
part
1:04:04
of
1:04:04
the
1:04:04
toolkit
1:04:05
of
1:04:05
getting
1:04:06
metabolism
1:04:07
back.
1:04:07
But
1:04:07
it's
1:04:08
not,
1:04:08
it's
1:04:09
only
1:04:09
one
1:04:10
part
1:04:10
of
1:04:10
that.
1:04:11
And
1:04:11
if
1:04:11
you
1:04:11
can't
1:04:13
use
1:04:13
hormone
1:04:14
therapy
1:04:14
or
1:04:14
you
1:04:14
choose
1:04:15
not
1:04:15
to,
1:04:15
it's
1:04:16
okay.
1:04:16
You
1:04:17
don't
1:04:17
have
1:04:17
to.
1:04:18
You
1:04:18
just
1:04:18
need
1:04:18
to
1:04:18
know
1:04:19
that
1:04:19
you
1:04:19
are
1:04:19
going
1:04:19
to
1:04:20
have,
1:04:20
you're
1:04:20
going
1:04:20
to
1:04:21
have
1:04:21
to
1:04:21
address
1:04:22
your
1:04:22
insulin
1:04:23
resistance
1:04:23
and,
1:04:24
and
1:04:24
glucose
1:04:25
metabolism
1:04:25
and
1:04:26
those
1:04:26
cholesterol
1:04:27
changes
1:04:28
in,
1:04:28
in
1:04:29
more
1:04:29
aggressive
1:04:30
ways
1:04:30
and
1:04:30
use
1:04:30
other
1:04:31
parts
1:04:31
of
1:04:31
that
1:04:31
tool
1:04:32
bit
1:04:32
but
1:04:32
toolbox
1:04:35
in
1:04:36
more
1:04:36
aggressively.
1:04:37
So
1:04:38
you're
1:04:38
gonna
1:04:38
have
1:04:38
to
1:04:39
make
1:04:39
sure
1:04:39
that
1:04:39
you
1:04:40
build
1:04:41
that
1:04:41
muscle
1:04:41
and
1:04:42
really
1:04:42
get
1:04:42
to
1:04:42
the
1:04:43
point
1:04:43
where
1:04:43
you
1:04:44
are
1:04:45
increasing
1:04:46
that
1:04:46
metabolic
1:04:47
set
1:04:47
point.
1:04:48
I'm
1:04:49
glad
1:04:49
you
1:04:49
said
1:04:49
that
1:04:49
because
1:04:50
I
1:04:50
think
1:04:50
that's
1:04:50
a
1:04:50
big
1:04:51
myth
1:04:51
that's
1:04:51
floating
1:04:51
around
1:04:52
is
1:04:52
if
1:04:52
you
1:04:52
take
1:04:52
HRTs,
1:04:53
you're
1:04:53
going
1:04:54
to
1:04:54
magically
1:04:54
start
1:04:54
losing
1:04:55
weight.
1:04:56
It
1:04:56
can
1:04:56
help
1:04:57
for
1:04:58
some
1:04:58
people,
1:04:58
but
1:04:59
it
1:04:59
is
1:04:59
not
1:04:59
necessarily
1:05:00
going
1:05:01
to
1:05:01
be
1:05:02
the
1:05:02
magic
1:05:03
bullet.
1:05:03
It's
1:05:03
not
1:05:04
the
1:05:04
same
1:05:04
as
1:05:04
taking
1:05:05
something
1:05:05
that
1:05:05
actually
1:05:06
is
1:05:06
changing
1:05:07
your
1:05:07
metabolism.
1:05:08
And
1:05:08
there
1:05:08
are
1:05:08
things,
1:05:09
there
1:05:09
are
1:05:09
things,
1:05:09
the
1:05:09
GLP1s
1:05:10
and
1:05:10
things
1:05:11
like
1:05:11
that
1:05:11
that
1:05:11
are
1:05:12
going
1:05:12
to
1:05:13
help
1:05:13
to
1:05:13
change
1:05:13
that
1:05:14
metabolic
1:05:14
set
1:05:14
point
1:05:16
and
1:05:17
really
1:05:17
shift
1:05:18
how
1:05:18
your
1:05:19
body
1:05:19
is
1:05:20
metabolizing.
1:05:22
Should
1:05:22
everyone
1:05:22
be
1:05:23
on
1:05:23
a
1:05:23
GLP1?
1:05:23
No,
1:05:24
they
1:05:24
shouldn't.
1:05:24
They
1:05:25
should.
1:05:25
There
1:05:25
are
1:05:25
lots
1:05:25
of
1:05:25
way.
1:05:26
But
1:05:26
it
1:05:26
is
1:05:26
one
1:05:27
tool
1:05:27
in
1:05:27
the
1:05:27
toolbox.
1:05:28
Of
1:05:29
trying
1:05:29
to
1:05:30
deal
1:05:30
with
1:05:31
the
1:05:31
metabolic
1:05:31
changes
1:05:32
that
1:05:32
we
1:05:32
have
1:05:33
and
1:05:34
that
1:05:34
are,
1:05:35
are
1:05:35
going
1:05:35
to
1:05:35
affect
1:05:35
all
1:05:36
of
1:05:36
us
1:05:36
because
1:05:37
men
1:05:37
and
1:05:37
women
1:05:38
have
1:05:38
metabolic
1:05:39
changes
1:05:39
at
1:05:39
this
1:05:39
point
1:05:40
in
1:05:41
and
1:05:42
they,
1:05:42
that
1:05:43
they're
1:05:43
that
1:05:43
are
1:05:44
going
1:05:44
on
1:05:44
and
1:05:44
we
1:05:45
are
1:05:45
not
1:05:45
slapping
1:05:46
an
1:05:46
estrogen
1:05:47
patch
1:05:47
on
1:05:47
him.
1:05:48
Right.
1:05:48
Well,
1:05:48
it's
1:05:48
often
1:05:49
women
1:05:49
care
1:05:50
more
1:05:50
or
1:05:51
seem
1:05:51
to.
1:05:52
Yeah.
1:05:52
But
1:05:53
it
1:05:53
is,
1:05:53
it
1:05:53
is
1:05:53
definitely
1:05:54
just,
1:05:55
it's
1:05:55
all,
1:05:56
it's
1:05:56
only
1:05:57
one
1:05:57
part.
1:05:57
You
1:05:57
can't
1:05:58
out
1:05:59
patch
1:06:00
poor
1:06:00
diet
1:06:01
or
1:06:02
change
1:06:02
it.
1:06:02
The
1:06:03
changes
1:06:03
that
1:06:03
and
1:06:04
then
1:06:04
sometimes
1:06:04
they're
1:06:04
like
1:06:04
I'm
1:06:05
eating
1:06:05
less
1:06:06
than
1:06:06
I
1:06:06
ever
1:06:06
have,
1:06:07
I'm
1:06:07
eating
1:06:07
more
1:06:08
protein,
1:06:08
I'm
1:06:08
doing
1:06:09
all
1:06:09
the
1:06:09
things
1:06:10
and
1:06:10
you
1:06:11
still
1:06:12
may
1:06:12
not
1:06:12
be
1:06:13
able
1:06:13
to
1:06:14
get
1:06:14
the
1:06:14
metabolism
1:06:15
back.
1:06:16
And
1:06:16
so
1:06:17
there
1:06:17
are,
1:06:17
that's
1:06:17
a
1:06:18
whole
1:06:18
other
1:06:19
nuanced
1:06:20
conversation
1:06:21
of
1:06:21
okay,
1:06:22
if
1:06:22
I
1:06:22
can't
1:06:23
get
1:06:23
it
1:06:23
back
1:06:24
with
1:06:24
changing
1:06:25
my
1:06:25
diet
1:06:26
then
1:06:26
then
1:06:27
where
1:06:27
do
1:06:27
we
1:06:27
go
1:06:27
from
1:06:27
there?
1:06:28
But
1:06:28
I
1:06:29
think
1:06:29
that
1:06:29
absolutely
1:06:30
we
1:06:31
know
1:06:31
that
1:06:32
estrogen
1:06:33
has
1:06:33
a,
1:06:33
it
1:06:34
affects
1:06:34
the,
1:06:35
the
1:06:35
gut
1:06:35
microbiome,
1:06:36
it
1:06:37
affects
1:06:38
the
1:06:39
glucose
1:06:39
metabolism
1:06:40
and
1:06:40
lipid
1:06:41
metabolism.
1:06:42
And
1:06:42
so
1:06:42
when
1:06:43
you
1:06:43
lose
1:06:44
those
1:06:44
you're
1:06:45
going
1:06:45
to
1:06:45
have
1:06:45
to
1:06:47
in
1:06:47
some
1:06:47
way
1:06:47
address
1:06:48
them
1:06:48
in
1:06:48
a
1:06:48
different
1:06:49
or
1:06:49
you're,
1:06:50
or
1:06:50
you're
1:06:50
going
1:06:50
to
1:06:50
have.
1:06:51
Everybody's
1:06:51
going
1:06:51
to
1:06:51
have
1:06:51
that.
1:06:52
I'm
1:06:52
nodding
1:06:52
along
1:06:53
as
1:06:53
if
1:06:53
everything
1:06:54
she's
1:06:54
saying
1:06:54
is
1:06:54
correct.
1:06:55
Yeah,
1:06:55
let's
1:06:55
hope
1:06:56
it
1:06:56
is.
1:06:56
Right?
1:06:57
As
1:06:57
if
1:06:58
I
1:06:58
have
1:06:58
any
1:06:58
idea
1:06:59
what
1:06:59
this
1:06:59
is.
1:07:00
No,
1:07:00
it
1:07:00
is.
1:07:00
But
1:07:01
okay,
1:07:01
let
1:07:01
me
1:07:01
tell
1:07:01
you,
1:07:02
I
1:07:02
will
1:07:02
say
1:07:03
I'm
1:07:03
studying
1:07:04
for
1:07:04
a
1:07:04
huge
1:07:05
test
1:07:06
that
1:07:06
I'm
1:07:06
taking
1:07:06
tomorrow
1:07:07
is
1:07:07
the
1:07:07
American
1:07:08
Board
1:07:08
of
1:07:09
Obesity
1:07:09
Medicine.
1:07:10
And
1:07:10
that's
1:07:10
why
1:07:10
because
1:07:11
I
1:07:11
felt
1:07:11
like
1:07:12
I
1:07:12
had
1:07:13
to
1:07:13
know
1:07:13
more
1:07:13
about
1:07:13
this.
1:07:14
It
1:07:14
affects
1:07:14
my
1:07:14
patients
1:07:15
so
1:07:15
dramatically
1:07:16
at
1:07:16
this
1:07:17
point.
1:07:17
And,
1:07:17
and
1:07:19
in
1:07:19
the
1:07:19
board
1:07:19
this
1:07:20
is
1:07:20
how
1:07:20
the
1:07:20
midlife
1:07:21
women
1:07:21
are
1:07:21
treated.
1:07:21
Okay.
1:07:22
So
1:07:23
one
1:07:23
of
1:07:23
the
1:07:23
questions
1:07:24
was
1:07:24
I'm
1:07:25
probably
1:07:25
they're
1:07:25
really
1:07:25
like
1:07:26
going
1:07:26
to
1:07:26
not
1:07:26
let
1:07:27
me
1:07:27
be
1:07:27
board
1:07:27
for
1:07:27
certified
1:07:27
for
1:07:28
calling
1:07:28
them
1:07:28
out
1:07:28
on
1:07:28
this.
1:07:28
But
1:07:29
they
1:07:29
say
1:07:29
it
1:07:30
says
1:07:30
well
1:07:30
this.
1:07:30
Will
1:07:30
come
1:07:31
out
1:07:31
after
1:07:31
the
1:07:31
test.
1:07:31
Oh
1:07:32
good,
1:07:32
good.
1:07:32
That's
1:07:32
good.
1:07:33
So
1:07:33
the,
1:07:34
it
1:07:35
says
1:07:35
a,
1:07:35
a,
1:07:36
a,
1:07:36
a
1:07:37
43
1:07:37
year
1:07:37
old
1:07:37
woman
1:07:38
because
1:07:38
you
1:07:39
give
1:07:39
you
1:07:39
vignette.
1:07:40
So
1:07:40
a
1:07:40
43
1:07:41
year
1:07:41
old
1:07:41
woman
1:07:41
comes
1:07:42
in
1:07:42
and
1:07:42
she
1:07:44
is
1:07:44
having
1:07:45
sleep
1:07:46
disruption
1:07:46
with
1:07:46
intermittent
1:07:47
hot
1:07:48
night
1:07:48
sweats
1:07:49
and
1:07:50
she
1:07:50
has,
1:07:52
has
1:07:53
these
1:07:53
lab
1:07:53
values,
1:07:54
blah
1:07:54
blah,
1:07:54
blah.
1:07:55
And
1:07:55
it
1:07:55
says
1:07:57
she
1:07:58
it
1:07:59
what
1:07:59
are
1:08:00
these.
1:08:00
One
1:08:00
of
1:08:00
the,
1:08:00
what
1:08:01
are
1:08:01
the
1:08:01
choices
1:08:01
of
1:08:01
treating
1:08:02
this
1:08:02
woman?
1:08:02
It's
1:08:02
like
1:08:03
add
1:08:03
back
1:08:04
hormone
1:08:04
therapy,
1:08:07
have
1:08:07
her
1:08:08
run
1:08:09
more
1:08:09
or
1:08:10
you
1:08:10
know,
1:08:10
change
1:08:10
her
1:08:11
diet.
1:08:11
And
1:08:12
so
1:08:12
then
1:08:12
it
1:08:12
goes
1:08:13
and
1:08:13
the
1:08:13
answer
1:08:13
was
1:08:14
have
1:08:15
her
1:08:15
exercise
1:08:15
more,
1:08:16
whatever.
1:08:16
So
1:08:17
and
1:08:17
add
1:08:17
more
1:08:18
protein
1:08:18
which
1:08:18
is
1:08:18
not
1:08:19
bad.
1:08:19
I
1:08:19
mean
1:08:19
that's
1:08:20
not
1:08:20
bad
1:08:20
advice.
1:08:20
It's
1:08:21
part
1:08:21
of
1:08:21
the
1:08:21
toolbox.
1:08:23
But
1:08:24
when
1:08:24
you
1:08:24
go
1:08:24
to
1:08:24
the
1:08:25
explanation
1:08:26
of
1:08:27
what
1:08:28
below
1:08:28
it,
1:08:28
it
1:08:29
says
1:08:31
the
1:08:31
average
1:08:31
weight
1:08:32
gain
1:08:32
for
1:08:32
women
1:08:32
in
1:08:33
midlife
1:08:34
is
1:08:35
between
1:08:36
6
1:08:37
and
1:08:38
is
1:08:38
between
1:08:39
6
1:08:40
and
1:08:40
20
1:08:41
pounds.
1:08:42
And
1:08:42
so
1:08:42
this
1:08:42
is
1:08:43
expected
1:08:44
weight
1:08:44
gain.
1:08:45
So
1:08:46
you
1:08:46
should
1:08:46
not
1:08:46
add
1:08:47
back
1:08:47
hormone
1:08:48
therapy,
1:08:48
even
1:08:49
though
1:08:49
we
1:08:49
do
1:08:49
know
1:08:50
that
1:08:50
it
1:08:51
changes
1:08:51
your
1:08:52
glucose
1:08:52
metabolism
1:08:54
because
1:08:54
it
1:08:55
is
1:08:55
not
1:08:55
indicated
1:08:56
unless
1:08:56
she
1:08:57
has
1:08:58
other
1:08:58
menopausal
1:08:59
symptoms.
1:08:59
So
1:09:00
until
1:09:00
like,
1:09:00
until
1:09:00
she
1:09:01
gains
1:09:01
£20,
1:09:02
until
1:09:02
she
1:09:02
gains,
1:09:02
we
1:09:03
won't
1:09:03
worry
1:09:03
about.
1:09:03
It
1:09:04
or
1:09:04
more,
1:09:04
more
1:09:05
than
1:09:05
20
1:09:05
expected.
1:09:06
And
1:09:06
it's
1:09:06
expected.
1:09:07
And
1:09:07
so
1:09:07
what
1:09:07
they're
1:09:08
saying
1:09:08
is
1:09:09
what
1:09:09
other
1:09:10
disease
1:09:11
or,
1:09:12
or
1:09:12
metabolic
1:09:13
state
1:09:14
would
1:09:14
they
1:09:14
say?
1:09:16
We
1:09:16
know
1:09:17
what
1:09:18
will
1:09:18
help
1:09:18
fix
1:09:18
this.
1:09:19
Your
1:09:19
thyroid
1:09:20
is
1:09:21
not
1:09:21
working
1:09:22
and
1:09:22
that's
1:09:22
why
1:09:22
you're
1:09:22
gaining
1:09:23
weight.
1:09:23
But
1:09:24
we're
1:09:24
not
1:09:24
going
1:09:24
to
1:09:24
give
1:09:25
you
1:09:25
back
1:09:25
thyroid
1:09:26
hormone
1:09:27
because
1:09:27
you
1:09:28
haven't
1:09:28
gained
1:09:28
£20
1:09:29
yet.
1:09:30
Even
1:09:30
though
1:09:30
you're,
1:09:31
we
1:09:31
know
1:09:31
you're
1:09:31
on
1:09:32
your
1:09:32
way
1:09:32
to
1:09:32
that.
1:09:33
We're
1:09:33
not.
1:09:34
So
1:09:34
if
1:09:35
they
1:09:35
know,
1:09:35
they
1:09:36
know
1:09:36
that
1:09:37
this
1:09:37
is.
1:09:39
Impacts
1:09:39
your
1:09:39
metabolic
1:09:40
health.
1:09:41
But
1:09:41
for
1:09:42
some
1:09:42
reason
1:09:44
the
1:09:44
medical
1:09:44
community
1:09:45
has
1:09:45
decided
1:09:46
that
1:09:46
it
1:09:46
shouldn't
1:09:47
be
1:09:47
treated.
1:09:48
But
1:09:48
they
1:09:48
don't
1:09:49
do
1:09:49
that
1:09:49
with
1:09:49
any
1:09:49
other
1:09:50
type
1:09:50
of
1:09:51
medical
1:09:52
problem.
1:09:52
They
1:09:52
don't
1:09:53
say,
1:09:53
we're
1:09:53
just
1:09:54
going
1:09:54
to
1:09:54
sit
1:09:54
back
1:09:54
and
1:09:54
watch
1:09:55
this.
1:09:55
We're
1:09:56
going
1:09:56
to
1:09:56
let
1:09:56
you
1:09:56
have
1:09:56
a
1:09:57
little
1:09:57
bit
1:09:57
of
1:09:57
asthma
1:09:58
and
1:09:58
not,
1:09:59
but
1:09:59
not
1:09:59
treat
1:09:59
it.
1:10:00
Right.
1:10:01
Or
1:10:01
any
1:10:01
mental
1:10:02
health
1:10:02
thing
1:10:02
and
1:10:03
watch.
1:10:03
You
1:10:03
suffer,
1:10:03
you
1:10:04
know,
1:10:04
Watch
1:10:04
you
1:10:04
suffer.
1:10:05
Yes.
1:10:06
Yeah.
1:10:07
So
1:10:07
anyway,
1:10:07
sorry
1:10:08
about
1:10:08
that.
1:10:08
Was
1:10:08
a
1:10:08
little
1:10:08
bit
1:10:08
of
1:10:08
my
1:10:09
soapbox
1:10:09
on,
1:10:10
on
1:10:10
what
1:10:10
you're
1:10:11
battling
1:10:11
out
1:10:11
there
1:10:12
because
1:10:12
they're
1:10:13
like,
1:10:13
oh,
1:10:13
well,
1:10:14
yes,
1:10:15
I'm.
1:10:15
Glad
1:10:15
you're
1:10:15
bringing
1:10:16
that
1:10:16
up
1:10:16
because
1:10:16
I
1:10:16
had
1:10:16
Dr.
1:10:17
Louise
1:10:17
Newson
1:10:18
on
1:10:18
the
1:10:18
show
1:10:19
a
1:10:19
few
1:10:19
months
1:10:20
ago,
1:10:20
who's
1:10:20
out
1:10:21
of
1:10:21
the
1:10:21
uk,
1:10:21
who's
1:10:21
amazing
1:10:22
and
1:10:22
she
1:10:22
said
1:10:23
the
1:10:23
same
1:10:23
thing.
1:10:23
She's
1:10:23
like,
1:10:24
in
1:10:24
what
1:10:24
other
1:10:25
world.
1:10:25
Yes.
1:10:26
Would,
1:10:26
would
1:10:27
they
1:10:28
would
1:10:28
watch
1:10:28
a
1:10:28
woman
1:10:29
for
1:10:29
six
1:10:29
months
1:10:29
suffer
1:10:30
and
1:10:31
not
1:10:31
do
1:10:31
anything
1:10:32
about
1:10:32
it
1:10:32
or
1:10:32
even
1:10:32
longer,
1:10:33
you
1:10:33
know,
1:10:34
and
1:10:34
just
1:10:34
kind
1:10:34
of
1:10:35
watch,
1:10:35
you
1:10:35
know,
1:10:36
it
1:10:36
just,
1:10:36
it
1:10:36
makes
1:10:37
zero
1:10:37
sense,
1:10:38
you
1:10:38
know.
1:10:39
Right.
1:10:40
So
1:10:40
for
1:10:40
the
1:10:41
women
1:10:41
out
1:10:41
there
1:10:41
that
1:10:41
are
1:10:41
listening
1:10:42
right
1:10:42
now
1:10:43
that
1:10:43
want
1:10:43
to
1:10:43
do
1:10:43
like
1:10:44
a
1:10:44
change,
1:10:44
you
1:10:45
know,
1:10:45
like
1:10:45
do
1:10:46
something
1:10:46
to
1:10:46
not
1:10:46
night.
1:10:47
What
1:10:48
can
1:10:48
they
1:10:48
do?
1:10:49
What
1:10:49
are
1:10:49
like
1:10:49
three
1:10:49
things
1:10:50
that
1:10:50
they
1:10:50
could
1:10:50
do
1:10:51
to
1:10:52
help
1:10:52
with
1:10:52
their
1:10:53
sexual
1:10:53
help,
1:10:54
their
1:10:54
connection
1:10:55
with
1:10:55
their
1:10:55
partner,
1:10:56
you
1:10:56
know,
1:10:56
the
1:10:57
physical,
1:10:57
the
1:10:57
mental,
1:10:58
emotional.
1:10:58
What
1:10:58
are
1:10:59
like
1:10:59
three
1:10:59
key
1:10:59
tools
1:11:00
that
1:11:00
they
1:11:00
could
1:11:00
do?
1:11:02
I,
1:11:02
I
1:11:02
would,
1:11:03
I,
1:11:03
I
1:11:03
think
1:11:03
one
1:11:04
of
1:11:04
them
1:11:04
is
1:11:04
going
1:11:04
to
1:11:04
be
1:11:04
sleep
1:11:06
the
1:11:07
hallelujah.
1:11:08
Yeah,
1:11:09
yeah,
1:11:09
yeah,
1:11:10
yeah.
1:11:10
Just
1:11:11
get,
1:11:11
get
1:11:11
enough.
1:11:12
No,
1:11:13
I
1:11:13
would
1:11:13
go
1:11:13
back
1:11:13
to
1:11:13
the,
1:11:14
the,
1:11:15
the
1:11:15
intimacy
1:11:16
all
1:11:17
day,
1:11:17
every
1:11:17
day.
1:11:18
And,
1:11:18
and
1:11:18
just
1:11:19
the
1:11:19
connection
1:11:20
with,
1:11:21
if
1:11:21
you,
1:11:22
if
1:11:22
you're,
1:11:23
if
1:11:23
your
1:11:23
spouse
1:11:24
or
1:11:24
if
1:11:25
you
1:11:26
ask
1:11:26
a
1:11:26
question,
1:11:28
don't
1:11:28
answer
1:11:29
the
1:11:29
question
1:11:29
while
1:11:29
looking
1:11:30
at
1:11:30
your
1:11:30
phone.
1:11:31
Don't
1:11:32
feel,
1:11:32
don't
1:11:33
be
1:11:33
shy
1:11:34
about
1:11:34
a
1:11:35
pat
1:11:35
on
1:11:35
the
1:11:35
bottom
1:11:36
or
1:11:36
a
1:11:36
rub
1:11:36
on
1:11:36
the
1:11:36
back
1:11:37
or
1:11:37
a
1:11:37
holding
1:11:37
hands
1:11:38
or
1:11:38
a
1:11:38
sitting
1:11:39
next
1:11:39
to.
1:11:40
Or.
1:11:40
Yeah,
1:11:41
the,
1:11:41
just
1:11:41
the,
1:11:42
the
1:11:42
intimacy
1:11:43
has
1:11:43
to,
1:11:44
has
1:11:44
to
1:11:44
be
1:11:44
there
1:11:45
and
1:11:45
be
1:11:45
alive
1:11:46
and,
1:11:47
and,
1:11:47
and
1:11:48
be
1:11:48
healthy.
1:11:49
So
1:11:50
that
1:11:50
would
1:11:50
be
1:11:50
my
1:11:50
answer.
1:11:51
Yeah,
1:11:52
I,
1:11:52
I
1:11:52
think
1:11:53
it
1:11:53
would.
1:11:55
If
1:11:55
I
1:11:55
would
1:11:55
say
1:11:56
anything,
1:11:56
it's.
1:11:59
You
1:11:59
just
1:12:00
want
1:12:00
to
1:12:00
know
1:12:01
that
1:12:01
it,
1:12:01
that
1:12:01
it's
1:12:02
important.
1:12:02
Just
1:12:03
express
1:12:03
that
1:12:03
it's
1:12:04
important
1:12:04
to
1:12:04
you.
1:12:04
Say,
1:12:05
hey,
1:12:05
I
1:12:06
know
1:12:06
that
1:12:07
I
1:12:08
am
1:12:08
struggling
1:12:09
with
1:12:09
the,
1:12:10
with
1:12:11
I
1:12:12
haven't
1:12:12
been
1:12:12
able
1:12:13
to
1:12:13
have
1:12:13
an
1:12:13
orgasm
1:12:14
or
1:12:14
I
1:12:15
am
1:12:15
having
1:12:15
some
1:12:15
dryness.
1:12:16
I,
1:12:17
I
1:12:17
really
1:12:18
want
1:12:18
this
1:12:19
to
1:12:19
be
1:12:19
a
1:12:19
part
1:12:19
of
1:12:20
our
1:12:21
relationship.
1:12:22
And
1:12:22
even
1:12:22
if
1:12:23
you
1:12:23
said,
1:12:23
just
1:12:23
even
1:12:24
saying
1:12:24
that,
1:12:25
like
1:12:25
you
1:12:25
said,
1:12:25
any,
1:12:26
any
1:12:27
effort
1:12:28
at
1:12:30
connection.
1:12:31
Yeah.
1:12:32
Or,
1:12:32
and
1:12:33
it
1:12:33
is,
1:12:35
is,
1:12:35
is
1:12:35
a
1:12:35
tremendous
1:12:36
step
1:12:36
in
1:12:36
the
1:12:36
right
1:12:37
direction
1:12:37
because
1:12:38
it's
1:12:38
just
1:12:38
showing
1:12:39
that
1:12:39
you,
1:12:39
that's,
1:12:40
you
1:12:40
know,
1:12:40
it's
1:12:40
valuable
1:12:41
to
1:12:41
them,
1:12:42
but
1:12:42
it's
1:12:42
also
1:12:42
valued.
1:12:43
Valuable
1:12:44
to
1:12:44
you.
1:12:44
And
1:12:44
so
1:12:45
that
1:12:46
the
1:12:47
fact
1:12:47
that
1:12:47
you
1:12:47
want
1:12:47
to
1:12:48
even
1:12:48
work
1:12:48
on
1:12:49
it
1:12:49
is
1:12:49
going
1:12:49
to
1:12:49
be
1:12:50
a
1:12:51
big
1:12:51
step,
1:12:51
but
1:12:52
it,
1:12:52
and
1:12:52
it
1:12:52
lets
1:12:53
you
1:12:53
even
1:12:54
say
1:12:54
those
1:12:54
words.
1:12:55
And
1:12:55
I
1:12:55
think
1:12:55
that
1:12:56
if
1:12:56
for
1:12:56
women
1:12:57
who
1:12:58
feel
1:12:58
like
1:12:58
they
1:12:59
don't
1:13:00
even
1:13:00
want
1:13:00
to
1:13:00
bring
1:13:00
it
1:13:00
up
1:13:01
because
1:13:02
that,
1:13:02
that's
1:13:03
not.
1:13:04
It
1:13:05
could.
1:13:05
It's,
1:13:06
it's
1:13:06
a
1:13:06
source
1:13:07
of
1:13:07
disappointment.
1:13:09
Disappointing
1:13:09
their
1:13:10
partner
1:13:10
or,
1:13:11
or
1:13:11
themselves.
1:13:11
Or,
1:13:12
or
1:13:12
themselves.
1:13:13
Yeah.
1:13:14
That
1:13:14
it
1:13:15
is
1:13:15
just
1:13:15
to
1:13:15
say,
1:13:16
hey,
1:13:16
I
1:13:16
know
1:13:17
that
1:13:18
we're
1:13:18
not
1:13:18
going
1:13:18
to
1:13:18
fix
1:13:19
this
1:13:19
tonight,
1:13:20
but
1:13:21
let's,
1:13:22
let's
1:13:23
start
1:13:23
looking
1:13:23
into
1:13:24
ways
1:13:24
that
1:13:24
we
1:13:24
can't,
1:13:25
we
1:13:25
can
1:13:26
fix.
1:13:26
This
1:13:28
would
1:13:28
be
1:13:28
the
1:13:28
first
1:13:29
thing
1:13:29
I
1:13:29
would
1:13:29
do
1:13:29
tonight.
1:13:30
And
1:13:30
then,
1:13:31
then
1:13:31
I'd
1:13:32
say,
1:13:33
are
1:13:33
you
1:13:33
still
1:13:33
watching
1:13:34
the
1:13:34
Phillies
1:13:34
game?
1:13:37
There
1:13:37
we
1:13:37
go.
1:13:38
Here
1:13:38
we
1:13:39
go.
1:13:41
Full
1:13:41
circle.
1:13:44
Yeah.
1:13:45
So
1:13:45
just
1:13:46
trying
1:13:46
to.
1:13:47
I
1:13:47
need
1:13:48
another
1:13:48
drink.
1:13:48
Invest.
1:13:49
Invest
1:13:50
in
1:13:50
each
1:13:51
other
1:13:51
and
1:13:51
invest
1:13:51
into
1:13:52
the
1:13:52
relationship.
1:13:53
Yeah,
1:13:53
no,
1:13:54
it's
1:13:54
a
1:13:54
good
1:13:54
point.
1:13:54
And
1:13:54
maybe
1:13:55
even
1:13:55
go
1:13:55
in
1:13:55
and
1:13:55
see
1:13:56
your
1:13:56
doctor.
1:13:56
Like
1:13:57
go
1:13:57
in
1:13:57
and
1:13:57
just
1:13:57
have
1:13:57
the,
1:13:58
the
1:13:59
full
1:13:59
head
1:13:59
to
1:13:59
toe
1:14:00
checkup.
1:14:00
Make
1:14:00
sure
1:14:00
there's
1:14:01
nothing
1:14:01
going
1:14:01
on
1:14:01
like
1:14:02
you
1:14:02
know,
1:14:03
in,
1:14:03
in
1:14:03
the
1:14:04
body
1:14:04
itself,
1:14:04
you
1:14:05
know,
1:14:05
which
1:14:05
is
1:14:05
always
1:14:05
helpful.
1:14:07
So
1:14:07
what,
1:14:08
what
1:14:08
advice
1:14:09
would
1:14:09
you
1:14:09
guys
1:14:10
give
1:14:10
to
1:14:10
your
1:14:10
25
1:14:11
year
1:14:11
old
1:14:11
selves?
1:14:13
Oh,
1:14:17
Rogaine.
1:14:19
No,
1:14:19
I'm
1:14:20
just
1:14:20
kidding.
1:14:23
God,
1:14:24
that's
1:14:24
a
1:14:24
great
1:14:25
question.
1:14:28
25
1:14:29
year
1:14:30
old
1:14:30
self,
1:14:32
I
1:14:33
would
1:14:33
say.
1:14:34
Yeah.
1:14:34
Make
1:14:35
sure
1:14:35
that
1:14:37
when
1:14:37
you're
1:14:38
30,
1:14:39
you
1:14:39
reconnect
1:14:40
with
1:14:40
that
1:14:40
cape
1:14:41
girl.
1:14:43
That
1:14:43
we
1:14:43
met
1:14:43
that
1:14:44
you
1:14:44
Met
1:14:44
back,
1:14:45
that
1:14:45
I.
1:14:45
Met
1:14:45
back
1:14:45
when
1:14:46
I
1:14:46
was
1:14:46
21.
1:14:47
Yeah.
1:14:48
Make
1:14:48
sure
1:14:48
you
1:14:48
do
1:14:49
that.
1:14:50
I
1:14:50
think,
1:14:51
man,
1:14:51
that's,
1:14:52
that's
1:14:52
good.
1:14:53
Well,
1:14:54
yeah,
1:14:54
there's,
1:14:55
there's
1:14:55
always
1:14:55
things
1:14:55
that
1:14:56
you
1:14:56
could
1:14:56
have
1:14:57
gone
1:14:57
back
1:14:58
and
1:14:58
done
1:15:00
better.
1:15:01
I
1:15:02
would,
1:15:03
I
1:15:04
would
1:15:04
tell
1:15:04
myself
1:15:05
that
1:15:05
of
1:15:06
all
1:15:06
the
1:15:06
things
1:15:07
in
1:15:07
with
1:15:08
your
1:15:09
spouse
1:15:09
or
1:15:09
with
1:15:10
your
1:15:10
partner
1:15:10
or
1:15:11
with
1:15:11
your
1:15:11
kids,
1:15:14
my
1:15:14
only
1:15:14
regrets
1:15:15
would
1:15:15
be
1:15:15
I
1:15:16
didn't
1:15:16
do
1:15:17
some
1:15:17
things
1:15:18
with
1:15:19
them.
1:15:21
So
1:15:22
I
1:15:22
would
1:15:22
have
1:15:22
invited
1:15:23
them
1:15:23
more
1:15:24
on,
1:15:25
I
1:15:25
mean,
1:15:26
just
1:15:26
trips
1:15:27
to
1:15:27
Lowe's,
1:15:28
just
1:15:28
time
1:15:28
together.
1:15:31
Yeah,
1:15:31
you
1:15:32
don't
1:15:32
get
1:15:32
any
1:15:32
of
1:15:33
that
1:15:33
back.
1:15:34
And
1:15:34
we
1:15:34
did
1:15:35
a
1:15:35
pretty
1:15:35
good
1:15:35
job
1:15:36
of
1:15:36
hanging
1:15:37
out
1:15:37
together
1:15:37
and
1:15:38
having
1:15:39
the
1:15:39
kids
1:15:39
with
1:15:39
us
1:15:40
and
1:15:40
so
1:15:40
forth
1:15:41
and,
1:15:41
but
1:15:41
it's,
1:15:42
yeah,
1:15:43
I
1:15:43
would,
1:15:44
I
1:15:44
would
1:15:44
just
1:15:44
go
1:15:44
back
1:15:45
and,
1:15:45
and,
1:15:46
and
1:15:46
tell
1:15:46
myself,
1:15:47
man,
1:15:47
if
1:15:47
there's
1:15:48
ever
1:15:48
an
1:15:48
opportunity
1:15:49
to
1:15:49
have
1:15:50
them
1:15:50
with
1:15:50
you
1:15:50
or
1:15:50
to
1:15:51
skip
1:15:51
what
1:15:51
you're
1:15:51
doing
1:15:52
and
1:15:52
be
1:15:52
with.
1:15:52
Them,
1:15:53
I
1:15:54
would,
1:15:55
in
1:15:55
terms
1:15:56
of
1:15:56
it
1:15:56
being
1:15:57
with
1:15:57
a
1:15:57
partner,
1:15:59
I,
1:15:59
I,
1:16:00
my
1:16:00
25
1:16:01
year
1:16:01
old
1:16:01
self,
1:16:01
I
1:16:02
would
1:16:02
say
1:16:03
that
1:16:04
in
1:16:05
making
1:16:06
sure
1:16:06
that
1:16:07
you,
1:16:08
the
1:16:08
things
1:16:08
that,
1:16:09
because
1:16:09
when
1:16:09
we
1:16:10
talk
1:16:10
about
1:16:11
body
1:16:11
changes
1:16:12
and
1:16:12
those
1:16:12
things
1:16:13
that
1:16:13
the
1:16:13
person
1:16:13
that
1:16:14
you're
1:16:14
with
1:16:16
look
1:16:16
for
1:16:17
the
1:16:17
person
1:16:18
who
1:16:18
is
1:16:19
going
1:16:19
to,
1:16:21
who
1:16:22
likes
1:16:22
the
1:16:23
things
1:16:23
about
1:16:23
you
1:16:23
that
1:16:24
are
1:16:24
never
1:16:24
going
1:16:24
to
1:16:24
change.
1:16:25
You
1:16:25
mean,
1:16:25
so
1:16:26
you
1:16:27
have
1:16:27
to
1:16:27
like
1:16:27
about
1:16:28
them.
1:16:28
Like
1:16:28
you
1:16:29
think
1:16:29
of
1:16:29
the
1:16:29
person
1:16:29
you're
1:16:30
with
1:16:31
and
1:16:31
then
1:16:31
think
1:16:32
of
1:16:32
them
1:16:33
as
1:16:34
having
1:16:35
none
1:16:35
of
1:16:35
the
1:16:35
physical
1:16:36
attributes
1:16:36
that
1:16:37
you
1:16:37
like.
1:16:37
If
1:16:38
that,
1:16:38
if
1:16:38
the
1:16:38
only
1:16:39
thing
1:16:39
you
1:16:39
really
1:16:40
like
1:16:40
about
1:16:40
them
1:16:41
is
1:16:42
that
1:16:42
soul
1:16:42
patch,
1:16:43
then
1:16:43
hopefully
1:16:43
it'll
1:16:43
still
1:16:44
be
1:16:44
there.
1:16:44
But
1:16:44
no,
1:16:45
it
1:16:45
was
1:16:45
like
1:16:45
if
1:16:46
the
1:16:46
only
1:16:46
thing
1:16:46
you
1:16:46
like
1:16:46
about
1:16:47
them
1:16:47
is
1:16:47
the
1:16:48
physical
1:16:48
things,
1:16:49
then
1:16:49
you
1:16:50
say,
1:16:50
okay,
1:16:51
I,
1:16:51
I,
1:16:52
those
1:16:52
other
1:16:52
things
1:16:53
are
1:16:53
going
1:16:53
to
1:16:53
go
1:16:53
away.
1:16:54
Who
1:16:54
is
1:16:54
this
1:16:55
person?
1:16:55
What's
1:16:55
going
1:16:55
to
1:16:55
stay?
1:16:56
What's
1:16:56
going
1:16:56
to
1:16:57
stay?
1:16:57
And
1:16:57
if
1:16:58
this
1:16:58
person
1:16:59
just
1:16:59
think
1:16:59
of
1:17:00
the
1:17:00
person
1:17:00
that's,
1:17:00
that's
1:17:01
there
1:17:01
and
1:17:01
then
1:17:02
think
1:17:02
about
1:17:02
them
1:17:03
not,
1:17:04
you
1:17:04
know,
1:17:04
like
1:17:05
25,
1:17:05
30
1:17:06
pounds
1:17:06
heavier.
1:17:07
And
1:17:07
the
1:17:08
things
1:17:08
that
1:17:08
annoy
1:17:09
you
1:17:09
now
1:17:09
are
1:17:10
going
1:17:10
to
1:17:10
annoy
1:17:10
you
1:17:10
like
1:17:11
20
1:17:11
to
1:17:12
30
1:17:12
times
1:17:12
more.
1:17:13
And
1:17:13
so
1:17:13
if
1:17:14
those
1:17:14
things
1:17:14
are
1:17:15
not
1:17:15
outweighed
1:17:16
by
1:17:16
the,
1:17:17
the
1:17:17
things
1:17:17
that,
1:17:18
that
1:17:18
you,
1:17:18
that
1:17:19
are
1:17:19
valuable
1:17:19
to
1:17:20
you,
1:17:20
then
1:17:20
you
1:17:21
need
1:17:21
to
1:17:21
just
1:17:21
move
1:17:21
on
1:17:22
because
1:17:23
don't,
1:17:23
don't
1:17:24
stay
1:17:24
in
1:17:24
a
1:17:24
relationship
1:17:25
that
1:17:26
is
1:17:26
not
1:17:28
giving
1:17:29
you
1:17:29
what
1:17:29
you
1:17:29
need
1:17:29
right
1:17:29
now
1:17:30
because
1:17:32
those
1:17:32
things
1:17:32
are,
1:17:33
that
1:17:33
are
1:17:33
going
1:17:33
to
1:17:34
get
1:17:34
even
1:17:34
more
1:17:34
people.
1:17:35
We
1:17:35
all
1:17:35
become
1:17:35
more
1:17:36
or
1:17:36
more
1:17:37
of
1:17:37
ourselves.
1:17:38
Ourselves.
1:17:39
And
1:17:39
I
1:17:39
think
1:17:39
that
1:17:39
some
1:17:39
of
1:17:40
that
1:17:40
does
1:17:40
get
1:17:40
stripped
1:17:40
away
1:17:41
in,
1:17:42
in
1:17:42
menopause.
1:17:43
That's
1:17:43
good.
1:17:43
Yeah,
1:17:43
it's
1:17:44
like,
1:17:44
so
1:17:44
you're
1:17:44
becoming
1:17:45
like
1:17:45
a
1:17:45
more
1:17:45
crystallized
1:17:46
version
1:17:48
of
1:17:48
you.
1:17:49
So.
1:17:50
And,
1:17:51
oh,
1:17:52
and
1:17:52
I
1:17:52
would
1:17:53
say
1:17:53
do
1:17:53
not
1:17:54
ever
1:17:56
drink
1:17:56
green
1:17:56
alcohol
1:17:57
Slurpees.
1:17:58
Those
1:17:58
are
1:17:58
a
1:17:59
horrible
1:17:59
idea.
1:17:59
Don't
1:18:00
ever
1:18:00
do
1:18:00
that.
1:18:01
Don't
1:18:02
do
1:18:02
it.
1:18:02
You'll
1:18:03
see
1:18:03
it
1:18:03
the
1:18:03
next
1:18:03
day
1:18:03
and
1:18:03
it's
1:18:04
not
1:18:04
pretty.
1:18:06
That's
1:18:07
horrible.
1:18:07
The
1:18:07
Mind
1:18:07
Eraser.
1:18:10
When
1:18:11
the
1:18:11
name
1:18:11
of
1:18:11
the
1:18:11
drink
1:18:11
is
1:18:12
the
1:18:12
Mind
1:18:12
Eraser.
1:18:13
Yeah.
1:18:14
Yeah.
1:18:15
Okay,
1:18:15
okay.
1:18:16
Solid
1:18:17
advice
1:18:17
from
1:18:18
your
1:18:18
doctor.
1:18:19
Right?
1:18:19
Oh,
1:18:21
right.
1:18:21
How
1:18:21
are
1:18:22
y'
1:18:22
all
1:18:22
living
1:18:22
iconically
1:18:23
right
1:18:23
now?
1:18:24
Oh,
1:18:26
what
1:18:26
does
1:18:26
that
1:18:27
mean?
1:18:28
Like,
1:18:28
what.
1:18:29
What
1:18:29
are
1:18:29
our.
1:18:30
What
1:18:30
is
1:18:30
our.
1:18:31
Our
1:18:31
driving.
1:18:33
So
1:18:33
are
1:18:34
we.
1:18:34
Are
1:18:34
we
1:18:34
living?
1:18:35
We're.
1:18:36
Well,
1:18:36
we're
1:18:37
empty
1:18:37
nesters,
1:18:39
so
1:18:39
we
1:18:40
can.
1:18:40
We
1:18:40
can
1:18:41
ostensibly
1:18:42
go
1:18:42
and
1:18:42
do
1:18:43
anything
1:18:43
anytime
1:18:43
we
1:18:44
wanted
1:18:44
to,
1:18:45
but
1:18:46
we're.
1:18:48
We
1:18:49
have
1:18:49
to.
1:18:49
Like,
1:18:49
we
1:18:49
have
1:18:49
a
1:18:50
gimpy
1:18:50
dog.
1:18:51
We
1:18:51
have
1:18:52
a
1:18:52
gimpy
1:18:52
dog.
1:18:52
And.
1:18:53
And
1:18:53
we
1:18:53
have
1:18:53
a
1:18:54
whole
1:18:54
lot
1:18:54
of
1:18:54
responsibilities
1:18:55
that
1:18:55
we've
1:18:55
taken
1:18:56
on
1:18:56
at
1:18:56
work.
1:18:57
So
1:18:58
we're
1:18:58
living
1:18:59
less
1:18:59
iconically
1:18:59
and
1:19:00
more
1:19:00
ironically.
1:19:01
We
1:19:01
have
1:19:02
all
1:19:02
the
1:19:02
time
1:19:03
in
1:19:03
the
1:19:03
world
1:19:04
to
1:19:04
do
1:19:04
something
1:19:05
we're
1:19:05
not
1:19:05
used
1:19:05
to.
1:19:05
We're
1:19:06
like,
1:19:06
let's
1:19:06
start
1:19:06
new
1:19:07
jobs.
1:19:07
Yeah,
1:19:08
let's
1:19:08
start.
1:19:08
Let's
1:19:08
go.
1:19:09
Let's
1:19:09
go
1:19:09
ahead
1:19:09
and
1:19:09
give
1:19:10
ourselves
1:19:10
18
1:19:10
more
1:19:11
things.
1:19:11
Yeah.
1:19:11
Yeah.
1:19:12
Let's
1:19:12
take
1:19:12
a
1:19:12
test
1:19:12
on
1:19:13
Saturday.
1:19:13
Yeah,
1:19:13
let's
1:19:14
get
1:19:14
a
1:19:14
new.
1:19:14
Another
1:19:14
board
1:19:15
certification.
1:19:15
People
1:19:16
need
1:19:16
and
1:19:16
does
1:19:16
nothing
1:19:17
to
1:19:17
further
1:19:17
your
1:19:17
career.
1:19:18
The.
1:19:20
Wow.
1:19:21
Wow.
1:19:22
Somebody
1:19:23
needs
1:19:24
a
1:19:24
session.
1:19:27
But
1:19:28
the
1:19:28
other
1:19:28
thing
1:19:28
I
1:19:29
want
1:19:29
to
1:19:29
say
1:19:29
to
1:19:29
your
1:19:29
point
1:19:30
is
1:19:30
invest
1:19:31
in
1:19:31
yourself
1:19:31
because.
1:19:32
Investing
1:19:32
in
1:19:32
yourself
1:19:33
and
1:19:33
your.
1:19:34
Which
1:19:34
is.
1:19:35
And
1:19:35
invest
1:19:35
in
1:19:35
your
1:19:35
relationship
1:19:36
because
1:19:36
if
1:19:37
you.
1:19:37
The
1:19:37
more
1:19:38
you
1:19:38
put
1:19:38
back
1:19:38
into
1:19:38
it,
1:19:39
the
1:19:39
more
1:19:39
you're
1:19:40
going
1:19:40
to.
1:19:40
It's
1:19:41
going
1:19:41
to
1:19:41
be
1:19:41
there
1:19:41
to
1:19:41
support.
1:19:41
Support
1:19:42
you
1:19:42
when
1:19:42
you
1:19:42
need
1:19:42
it.
1:19:43
That's
1:19:44
beautiful.
1:19:45
Yeah,
1:19:45
good.
1:19:45
That's
1:19:46
a
1:19:46
good
1:19:46
point.
1:19:46
You
1:19:47
guys
1:19:47
are
1:19:47
so
1:19:47
amazing.
1:19:48
You
1:19:48
gave
1:19:48
me
1:19:48
so
1:19:49
much
1:19:49
good,
1:19:49
you
1:19:50
know,
1:19:50
information
1:19:50
and
1:19:50
knowledge.
1:19:51
No
1:19:51
doubt
1:19:51
the
1:19:52
women
1:19:52
listening
1:19:52
are
1:19:52
gonna
1:19:53
love
1:19:54
this.
1:19:54
So
1:19:55
it's
1:19:55
been
1:19:56
amazing.
1:19:59
Thank
1:19:59
you
1:19:59
guys
1:19:59
so
1:19:59
much
1:20:00
for
1:20:00
coming.
1:20:00
Tell
1:20:01
everybody
1:20:01
where
1:20:01
they
1:20:02
can
1:20:02
find
1:20:02
you
1:20:02
guys.
1:20:02
I
1:20:03
know
1:20:03
you
1:20:03
have
1:20:03
a
1:20:03
bunch
1:20:03
of
1:20:03
new
1:20:03
projects
1:20:04
coming
1:20:04
up
1:20:04
too,
1:20:05
so
1:20:05
feel
1:20:06
free
1:20:06
to
1:20:06
share.
1:20:06
So
1:20:07
we
1:20:07
are
1:20:07
in
1:20:07
Charleston,
1:20:08
South
1:20:08
Carolina.
1:20:09
But,
1:20:09
and,
1:20:10
and
1:20:10
I.
1:20:10
But
1:20:11
we're
1:20:11
really
1:20:12
most
1:20:13
available
1:20:13
as
1:20:15
heads
1:20:15
and
1:20:16
tails.
1:20:16
So
1:20:17
it'd
1:20:17
be
1:20:17
heads
1:20:17
and
1:20:17
tails
1:20:18
podcast
1:20:19
dot
1:20:19
com.
1:20:19
Yeah.
1:20:20
And
1:20:20
so
1:20:20
we're
1:20:20
on
1:20:20
Instagram
1:20:21
and
1:20:21
on.
1:20:22
The
1:20:22
TikTok
1:20:23
and
1:20:23
all
1:20:23
the.
1:20:23
And
1:20:24
you
1:20:24
can
1:20:24
type
1:20:24
in
1:20:24
heads
1:20:25
and
1:20:25
tails
1:20:25
in
1:20:26
any
1:20:26
way.
1:20:26
You
1:20:26
listen
1:20:27
to
1:20:27
podcast
1:20:27
everywhere.
1:20:28
Kind
1:20:28
of
1:20:28
the
1:20:28
main
1:20:28
thing.
1:20:29
Everywhere.
1:20:29
The
1:20:29
podcasts
1:20:30
are
1:20:30
heads
1:20:30
and
1:20:30
tails.
1:20:31
If
1:20:31
you
1:20:31
put
1:20:31
that
1:20:31
in.
1:20:32
And
1:20:32
to
1:20:32
follow
1:20:32
you
1:20:33
and
1:20:33
to
1:20:33
follow
1:20:33
me,
1:20:33
It's.
1:20:34
I'm
1:20:34
at
1:20:34
Dr.
1:20:35
Kate
1:20:35
White
1:20:35
OB
1:20:36
GYN,
1:20:36
but
1:20:36
you
1:20:37
can
1:20:37
also
1:20:37
follow
1:20:37
podcasts
1:20:39
at
1:20:39
Heads
1:20:39
and
1:20:39
Tails
1:20:40
podcast
1:20:41
on
1:20:41
all
1:20:42
platforms
1:20:44
and
1:20:44
he's@charlestontherapy.com
1:20:46
so
1:20:46
good.
1:20:47
Yeah,
1:20:47
I've
1:20:47
been
1:20:47
listening
1:20:48
to
1:20:48
your
1:20:48
guys
1:20:48
podcast.
1:20:49
It's
1:20:49
so
1:20:49
good,
1:20:50
so
1:20:50
informative.
1:20:50
Yes,
1:20:51
absolutely.
1:20:52
So
1:20:53
everybody
1:20:54
should
1:20:54
listen
1:20:54
to
1:20:54
it.
1:20:54
You
1:20:55
will
1:20:55
learn
1:20:55
so
1:20:55
much
1:20:56
about
1:20:56
your
1:20:56
body,
1:20:57
your
1:20:57
partner,
1:20:58
communication,
1:20:58
like
1:20:59
all
1:20:59
the
1:20:59
good
1:20:59
things.
1:21:00
So.
1:21:00
And
1:21:00
I
1:21:01
know
1:21:01
you
1:21:01
guys
1:21:01
just
1:21:01
got
1:21:01
back
1:21:02
from
1:21:02
Dr.
1:21:02
Kelly
1:21:03
Casperson's
1:21:05
amazing
1:21:05
event.
1:21:05
I'm
1:21:06
sure
1:21:06
it
1:21:06
was
1:21:06
great.
1:21:08
So
1:21:08
you
1:21:08
guys
1:21:09
spoke
1:21:09
on
1:21:09
the
1:21:09
panel
1:21:09
and
1:21:10
everything.
1:21:11
It
1:21:11
was
1:21:11
first
1:21:12
place.
1:21:12
Yes.
1:21:12
And
1:21:13
her,
1:21:13
her
1:21:13
new
1:21:13
menopause
1:21:14
book
1:21:14
is
1:21:15
wonderful
1:21:16
and,
1:21:17
and,
1:21:18
but
1:21:19
the
1:21:19
New
1:21:19
York
1:21:20
you
1:21:20
are
1:21:21
not
1:21:21
broken.
1:21:21
If
1:21:22
you,
1:21:22
if
1:21:22
you
1:21:22
haven't
1:21:23
read
1:21:24
her
1:21:24
book
1:21:24
or
1:21:25
listened
1:21:25
to
1:21:25
her
1:21:25
podcast,
1:21:26
it
1:21:26
is
1:21:26
amazing
1:21:27
and
1:21:27
it
1:21:27
really
1:21:28
addresses
1:21:29
all
1:21:29
kinds
1:21:29
of
1:21:30
sexual
1:21:30
health
1:21:31
problems
1:21:32
and
1:21:33
so
1:21:34
much
1:21:34
information
1:21:34
there.
1:21:35
So
1:21:35
that's
1:21:35
great.
1:21:37
Great.
1:21:37
Well,
1:21:37
everyone
1:21:38
listen
1:21:38
to
1:21:38
Heads
1:21:38
and
1:21:38
Tails.
1:21:39
It's
1:21:39
a
1:21:39
great
1:21:39
show.
1:21:40
They're
1:21:40
also
1:21:40
fellow
1:21:41
Southerners
1:21:42
like
1:21:42
me.
1:21:42
We
1:21:42
always
1:21:42
love
1:21:43
that.
1:21:43
That's
1:21:44
right.
1:21:45
Thank
1:21:45
you
1:21:45
so
1:21:46
much.
1:21:46
Well,
1:21:47
take
1:21:47
care
1:21:47
and.
1:21:49
And
1:21:49
we'll.
1:21:49
We
1:21:50
just
1:21:50
had
1:21:50
a
1:21:51
great
1:21:51
time,
1:21:51
man.
1:21:51
Thank
1:21:52
you.
1:21:52
Thank
1:21:52
you.
1:21:53
Okay,
1:21:54
I
1:21:54
hope
1:21:54
you're
1:21:54
walking
1:21:55
away
1:21:55
from
1:21:55
this
1:21:55
conversation
1:21:57
with
1:21:57
more
1:21:57
than
1:21:57
just
1:21:58
ideas.
1:21:58
I
1:21:58
hope
1:21:59
you
1:21:59
feel
1:21:59
seen,
1:22:00
empowered
1:22:00
and
1:22:01
maybe
1:22:01
even
1:22:02
a
1:22:02
little
1:22:02
inspired
1:22:03
to
1:22:04
schedule
1:22:04
a
1:22:04
no
1:22:05
pressure
1:22:05
connection
1:22:06
building
1:22:06
moment
1:22:07
with
1:22:07
your
1:22:07
partner
1:22:08
tonight.
1:22:09
Huge
1:22:09
thanks
1:22:09
to
1:22:10
Dr.
1:22:10
Kate
1:22:10
White
1:22:10
and
1:22:11
Jay
1:22:11
White
1:22:12
for
1:22:12
bringing
1:22:12
the
1:22:13
real
1:22:13
talk,
1:22:13
the
1:22:14
clinical
1:22:14
truth
1:22:15
and
1:22:15
the
1:22:15
relationship
1:22:16
wisdom,
1:22:16
along
1:22:17
with
1:22:17
the
1:22:17
laughs
1:22:18
and
1:22:18
a
1:22:18
few
1:22:18
blush
1:22:19
worthy
1:22:19
moments.
1:22:20
If
1:22:20
you
1:22:20
loved
1:22:21
this
1:22:21
episode,
1:22:21
do
1:22:22
me
1:22:22
a
1:22:22
favor.
1:22:22
Favor
1:22:23
tap.
1:22:23
Follow
1:22:23
on
1:22:24
the
1:22:24
iconic
1:22:24
midlife.
1:22:25
Share
1:22:26
this
1:22:26
with
1:22:26
a
1:22:26
friend
1:22:26
who
1:22:27
needs
1:22:27
to
1:22:27
hear
1:22:27
it
1:22:28
and
1:22:28
leave
1:22:28
a
1:22:29
review
1:22:29
telling
1:22:30
us
1:22:30
your
1:22:30
biggest
1:22:31
takeaway.
1:22:31
We
1:22:32
read
1:22:32
them
1:22:32
all.
1:22:33
You
1:22:33
can
1:22:33
find
1:22:34
Kate
1:22:34
and
1:22:34
J
1:22:35
at
1:22:35
Heads
1:22:35
and
1:22:36
Tails
1:22:36
podcast.
1:22:37
And
1:22:37
of
1:22:37
course
1:22:37
I'll
1:22:38
drop
1:22:38
all
1:22:39
their
1:22:39
links
1:22:39
in
1:22:39
the
1:22:39
show
1:22:40
notes.
1:22:40
Until
1:22:41
next
1:22:41
time,
1:22:42
keep
1:22:42
redefining
1:22:43
what
1:22:43
midlife
1:22:44
looks
1:22:44
like.
1:22:45
And
1:22:45
remember,
1:22:46
it's
1:22:46
not
1:22:46
about
1:22:46
fading
1:22:47
away.
1:22:48
It's
1:22:48
about
1:22:48
showing
1:22:49
up
1:22:49
louder,
1:22:50
bolder
1:22:50
and
1:22:51
more
1:22:51
connected
1:22:52
than
1:22:52
ever.