Latest / Morrow Marriage | Disrupting Divorce / Marriage Counseling Not Working? Here's Why | The 'NEW' Marriage | Ep501

Transcript

Marriage Counseling Not Working? Here's Why | The 'NEW' Marriage | Ep501 · Morrow Marriage | Disrupting Divorce

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: We're not therapists, but it's better for you.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: Mixed signals and emotional manipulation.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: The nice guy trap and why it doesn't work.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: When he stays out too late, the whole family pays the price.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: Financial infidelity, the betrayal that nobody talks about in marriage, guys.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: The number one relationship hack.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: You can't fix people with love.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: We're not therapists, but it's better for you.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Moral Marriage Podcast, guys, and bear with me, my voice is just finally recovering.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: Wouldn't you know it?
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: As soon as I start recording my audiobook with the scriptures in it for you guys, that later that day I lose my voice.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: That devil.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: Fucking devil.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, uh, but I'll be I'll be right around the corner with that for you guys.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, if you don't know, it's gonna be easy to find on the app, go.moralmarriage.com.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: Now we're not therapists, as you know.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and I'm gonna introduce my wife in a minute to talk about a little bit of where she's at with her journey.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: But um, you know, I don't believe in therapy, as you know.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: There's so many real big things.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: One of the biggest things that I've always taught is like, if you oh, my back is still killing me big time today here on this couch.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if you don't know, like you're taking responsibility, then you go say, let's go to marriage counseling, and you're blaming your partner.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's some of the dumbest shit uh ever.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Also, you're sitting in your past and your pain.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: I did 14 years of therapy and it fucking got me nowhere.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, sure, I understood a lot of my trauma.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, whatever.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like trauma.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: I understand your trauma really doesn't get you anywhere, by the way.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: No, in fact, it makes you more traumatized and more angry and upset.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: Then you guys leave and you fight and all this shit.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and the other reason is because most therapists are getting divorced at a faster rate than their clients.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't know, pay attention and go look at statistics.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, um, my wife, though, has been getting, I mean, we we always get trained coaches, courses, whatever, but my wife is always still looking at therapeutic modalities and getting a lot of certifications.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, why don't you just explain a little bit about where where you were at and why it's important for what you're doing today with what you've got?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like my new certification?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, ma'am.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Where I was at, I don't know what you want me to answer there.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: But I am, as of last week or the week before, I can't remember, I am nationally board certified in the field of human services, marriage and family therapy.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And basically what that means is I am certified to, I'm a practitioner.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not a therapist.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm you could consider me a counselor, but I'm not a licensed therapist.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Licensed therapists have to be licensed in their state.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm nationally board recognized.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Nationally recognized, board certified, sorry.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: So the cool thing about this is that, you know, for years we were helping people who didn't really care about the whole, you know, designation behind the name.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's when we started, like, well, almost five years ago now, okay?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: And it's because of all the experience that we have, you know, the amount of people we talk to uh on the phone, you know, whatever they're going through, like right now I built this incredible freaking quiz for men where I mean I can tell you your exact story if you answer these questions, and I can tell you exactly where you're messing up and what's gone wrong and what your next steps can be with this quiz.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: It is so powerful.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: We're about to launch it today.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: And uh the thing about it is that's all because of experience, because of what we know from our own life.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like whatever you've gone to to get help when it comes to a program or a coach or the books you're reading, man, they didn't save their marriage from anywhere near the destruction and the damage that we had.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: And what's really cool is uh although we've created and developed so many different tools, systems, resources for you guys, um, and and ways to just step-by-step your journey actually is the nicest part about it.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's super easy.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: All along, there was therapeutic modalities and tools and resources that do actually work in some cases, uh, implemented the right way.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: We've always been doing that, but just more and more and more over the years, especially Catherine.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then I would learn from Catherine.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, we'd be applying with not just us, but thousands and thousands until eventually over a thousand now.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to add to that.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm doing a new program where I'm training facilitators to be able to facilitate the women's program all around the world.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: And the coolest thing, I didn't tell you this, honey, but one of the one of the women that's on our staff, she's actually a licensed therapist in the state of Oregon.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was saying, you have to be licensed in your state.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: You're not licensed across the whole country when you're a therapist.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, she's gonna be one of my facilitators.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: A facilitator is a trained guide.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: While I was doing my first training the other day, I asked them what their why was.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, obviously she's passionate about marriage and families, but she said, even as a therapist, the things that I've taught her, she's she's been a therapist for I don't know what she said, 20 years or 15 years.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: And she said she didn't know this.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: She said, even marriage and family therapists don't understand things the way that we teach them, the way that we understand them.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like Cass was saying, we teach other people's strategies, other people's modalities, but people still don't understand the use how to use them until they come to us.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: A therapist, someone that's been in the field of therapy marriage and family therapy for 20 years, is like, I can't believe I didn't know any of this.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: So if I didn't know it, think about how many other people don't know it.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and that's why we yeah, it's so cool, baby.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: And like if you understand, that's why we've helped so many therapists, counselors, uh pastors, pastoral counselors, pastors.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: But where this really benefits you is something cool.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's because what we want you guys to understand is uh whether you trust us or not, which you must if you're still listening at five minutes here, okay?
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: But like it the point about it is we can take all the experiences, everything that we have done and and moved our own marriage, 8,000 others to be able to take the kinds of levels of education that Catherine also gets.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I'm not talking about like our courses and coaches, that's one thing, but let's just go with the actual books that many people think they need, okay?
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: There's so much wonderful stuff that Catherine did learn that we can discuss and we can implement, we can use, and why it benefits you is because there are really cool tools now that we can build, like this quiz that I made, and we'll get to one for the women too.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because AI can look at all of our data, all of our podcasts, all of our books, our courses, every conversation we've had with coaching, it can look at all of that and and help you that way.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: And now anybody could do that, anybody with AI.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: The problem is you won't get so deep.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like, listen, this me, we like it's got like hundreds of coaching calls, actual questions from people, actual answers from us.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we have Cass AI and Catherine AI.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it really is like talking to myself.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: I actually, when I when I go into the AI to do something, I'm like, good morning, Catherine, how are you today?
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Give her a task, and then she's like, Oh, Catherine, she even sends me yellow hearts back because I use yellow hearts.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's like talking to myself in the AI version.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's wild.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Only she's way faster than I am.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Anybody can do that, but the problem is they're gonna go to like let's just say Chat GPT and they're gonna use whatever's out there on the internet with all these books and whatever and blah blah blah.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: But you're not gonna be able to do that.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Not everything on the internet is reliable either.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: Number one, number two, you're not gonna get the experience of the 8,000 people of our story and everything we've taught and the ways we've taught it.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: And if you go back to the beginning of the episodes of the podcast, we're teaching in security the exact same way back then, but now we add to it because of things like Catherine's new education and things like that.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: So there's just so much.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: I just wanted, I don't want to go too far with this.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: I want to let you know that there's, although we're not therapists, guys, there's there's really innovative ways that you can learn from people who understand.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: And hi, that's us.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: All right, guys.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: We'll see you next time.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.