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Bitterness is Sour · Fostering Faith

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Welcome back to Fostering Faith and my name is
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Tracie and we are in an episode that I think that
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is gonna check some hearts today. This isn't
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just for someone out there. This is for all of
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us because if we're honest every single one of
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us knows what it's like to get hurt. To have
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someone say something or not say something and
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that leaves a sting in your heart. Now this is
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where it gets real instead of giving the pain
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to God like we should, we replay the conversation
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in our head. We write imaginary speeches of what
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we should have said and we build our case and
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we don't even realize what we're doing, but we're
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holding on to bitterness. And so in today's episode,
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we're going to be talking about what bitterness
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does to our heart, how we resent the Holy Spirit
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nudges, and why it's vital to sit quietly in
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the presence of God and how to forgiveness frees
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us from Not just sitting there in our own hurt
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but it frees the other person So grab your coffee
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your Bible and maybe even a notebook but because
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today we're gonna go deep And so you know that
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we like to live out things Here before we talk
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about it. And so let's talk about the reality
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of hurt. So Being hurt is part of living in a
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broken world. Jesus said himself in John 16 33
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in this world You will have trouble but take
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heart I have overcome the world Notice he didn't
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say you might or maybe he said you will People
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will fail you every day. We are not perfect people
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You are not perfect. I am not perfect and even
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the ones throughout and Throughout time and people
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that you never thought would maybe it's a friend
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maybe it's a spouse, maybe it's someone in your
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church family, and that's a special kind of pain,
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isn't it? And instead of surrendering that pain
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to God, we take it and we harbor it into bitterness.
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Hebrews 12 -15 says, see to it that no one falls
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short of the grace of God and that no bitterness
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takes root and causes trouble and defile many.
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That phrase, root of bitterness, It's intentional.
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Roots grow deep. Roots are hidden. Roots spread.
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And we've done episodes on roots. And you may
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think that you're keeping it contained, but roots
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always find a crack. And bitterness spreads into
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conversations, relationships, even your prayers.
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And before long, it's not just about them anymore.
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It's affecting your intimacy with God. And as
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we were in small group this week, we were talking
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about what kids are feeling, what youth are feeling,
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and a lot of them are angry because of hurts,
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because of... Past relationships because of what
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someone said and a lot of them hold on to grudges
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a lot of them hold on to bitterness and and this
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may be Because that's what they see in their
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home that they may be because that's what society
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says to do is like How can they wrong you and
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who are you to forgive them and they you know
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all this? No, and so as we were talking, you
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know in in in group It was really much about
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like who am I? Who am I to hold on to past hurts
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and regret, you know regrets because People are
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gonna hurt us. I mean he literally says people
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are gonna hurt us. They're not perfect, but I
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often find too that God allows us to be in certain
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situations to see something in our heart, you
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know, why did that affect me so much? Why did
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I take that so personally? What what is what
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are you trying to teach me? Because he'll teach
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you he will give you wisdom He will give you
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discernment if you go to him if you take that
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hurt to him He will allow something that he is
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trying to fix in you to be illuminated and I
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was telling the kids like Used to be a super
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angry person and you know, like if you do something
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to me, you're dead to me I have no reason for
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you to my life and it was Pre Jesus post Jesus
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is who am I? Who am I to hold on to that grudge?
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Who am I to hold on to bitterness and anger?
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It says do not go to bed angry at night And I
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take that kind of literally is that we don't
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want to go to bed angry. We don't want to go
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to bed mad and it is If God can forgive me for
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everything that I have done on a daily basis
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And it says in Scripture how many times are we
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supposed to forgive somebody? You know 70 times
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7, you know And so it's just that forgiveness
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and forgiveness because who am I? You know, why
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did I hold them at such a whole high standard?
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Why did I put them on a platform so they could
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fall? You know, why did I allow you know? this
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person to have so much You're gonna fall. Why
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did you put them up there? You know, and so it
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was just like you I was telling the kids like
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it's just about having that Grace that we get
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and so all the grace and mercy that god has given
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us. We've got to extend it to other people I
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mean, so if you have held that grudge if you've
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held that anger take that to god and be like
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Why did this affect me so much have I actually
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put them on a pedestal where they didn't need
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to be? um was I expecting this expectation of
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them that I They could never meet and so take
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that to god. And so why did this hurt me so much?
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Why did this? affect me in this way, like teach
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me, you know, like I'm hurt for a reason. You
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allowed this certain situation to happen. How
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can we, how can I grow from this? How can I mature
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from this? And then we have grieving the Holy
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Spirit. And so we have Ephesians 4 .30 through
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32 that says, and do not grieve the Holy Spirit
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from God with whom you are sealed. for a day
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of redemption get rid of all bitterness rage
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and anger along from every form of malice be
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kind and compassionate to one another forgiving
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each other just as the christ has forgiven you
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did you catch that holding onto bitterness doesn't
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just hurt you it grieves the spirit think about
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it in the word just grieve You can only grieve
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someone you love. You can only grieve if there's
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intimacy. So when you cling to bitterness instead
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of obeying his nudge, the Holy Spirit is literally
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grieving inside of us because he knows what it's
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costing us. Have you ever felt that? The quiet
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whisper? Don't send the text. Don't rehearse
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the fight. Just go talk to them or just let it
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go. And instead of listening, We double down
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and we say nope, not this time Friends ignoring
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the spirit. It's like hitting the snooze button
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On the alarm that you know, you can't afford
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to sleep through and so if the Holy Spirit is
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telling you to do something You're missing out
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on an opportunity for God to work in your life
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in their life And it could be months. It could
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be years. It could be a decade before you allow
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them to See that forgiveness to see that Christ
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like atmosphere and allow him to work through
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everything that he wants to work through in this
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situation and so that first nudge Do what he
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says if he says go talk to him then you go talk
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to him if he says go you know, express your hurt
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or your anger or whatever. Go do that. Go talk
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to him the first time that you're nudged. Don't
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wait for him to punch you in the face. Just take
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that quiet time with him and be in prayer from
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the initial hurt and he will walk you through
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all the hurt, all the anger, all the bitterness
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if you allow him to. If you don't allow him to...
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I mean you have to be able to just sit with him
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and allow him to work through you and by your
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disobedience you are um not helping anybody.
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I mean even just half -hearted obedience is disobedience
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and we don't want to be disobedient. We want
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to be just followers of him and allowing him
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to work through our life. And why are we resistant?
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Why are why do we resist pride, fear, control?
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We convenience ourselves. If I forgive them,
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it's saying like what they did was OK. But forgiveness
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isn't saying it's OK. It's saying I won't let
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your wrong destroy me. Corey Boom, who survived
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the Holocaust, said this forgiveness is setting
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the prisoner free only to find the prisoner.
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was you. We resist because bitterness feels powerful.
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It makes us feel like we're holding the upper
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hand. But in reality, it's just holding us. And
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the power was sitting with God. And so here's
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a pivot. And so the only way to loosen bitterness
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is to sit with God and to be still. And so Psalm
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46 10 says, be still and know that I am your
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God. Notice it doesn't say be busy and know that
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I am your God or scroll through Instagram and
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know that I'm your God. It says be still. Stillness
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is awkward. Our culture runs on it, but stillness
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is where God speaks. When you sit with him, just
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you and him, he reminds you, I saw what happened.
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I know how deeply you were hurt. I've carried
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worse for you and I can carry this too. Bitterness
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can't survive in the presence of God. it withers
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under his light. And so in class we are, in my
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seminary, we are sitting with the scripture of
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Acts 1 -8 and you get nothing but scripture.
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and the Holy Spirit. And so it's so much easier
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to use Logos or to Google or to whatever. And
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the assignment was, no, wrestle with God and
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give me 25 observations of Acts 1 -8. You know
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no knowledge before, you know no knowledge after.
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You only have Acts 1 -8. And you have to sit
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with that and look through and observe only the
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facts that are in this 37 -word scripture. And
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then you turn that in and your girl got a hundred
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And then we had to go back and so this next assignment
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is you have to find 25 more and it is about wrestling
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with this scripture and There is nothing else
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in this and I have closed my computer probably
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42 times because I cannot think of anything else
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But it's about just sitting and in prayer with
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God and just hey help me illuminate Let me see
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what you see there is something This scripture
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and so it's just me and the Holy Spirit and scripture
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and the professor you've been said, you know
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You're gonna get frustrated and you're like,
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no, there's only eight more observations and
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this and he's like there's like a hundred and
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seventy five Observations and this one text and
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I'm like bro. You are crazy. There is not a hundred
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seventy five things in there and so The next
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assignment was to do that 25 and so I sat there
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for like a good week Wrestling with this one
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scripture and I finally pulled out I think 25
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and there's probably more and so We've not got
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to the third assignment yet, but we're gonna
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see what it says and so, you know Just sitting
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with God in the presence. Okay. What are you
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trying to show me? What is this? And and as you
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just kind of put that into perspective Whenever
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you were anger, whenever you're bitter, just
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sitting with God and just wrestling with Him.
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Like I feel this certain way for a reason. I
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have this bitterness. I feel rejection. I feel,
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you know, why did they say this to me? Why did
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it hurt me so much? Like what are you trying
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to teach me? You know that they were gonna say
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this. You know that they were gonna do this and
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you allowed it to happen. So how can I learn
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from this? How can I be better from this? How
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can I and what are you teaching me? And just
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sitting with Him and whenever He nudges you,
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whenever you are spending time with Him. That's
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whenever he's gonna teach you that's whenever
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he's gonna mold you that's whenever he's going
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to illuminate You know all these things that
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are really inside of your heart and you're just
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like, oh my gosh, like, you know Thank you, you
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know, and it's just like such a great experience
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for him just to teach you and You know, it's
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just it's just wonderful And so here's some practical
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tips and exercises that we can do So here's something
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that I want you to actually do this week set
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aside 20 minutes Just 20 minutes. No background
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music. No podcasts. Not even mine. Open up Ephesians
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4 or Psalm 46 and pray it out loud. Yes, out
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loud. No one judges you. No one cares. You're
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sitting in your room. You're sitting in your
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car. You're sitting on your back porch. You were
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saying it on a walk because we know that we have
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a phone that has the Bible app on there because
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whenever you speak it, you can't ignore it. Say,
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God, I don't want to carry this anymore. I release
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it to you. I want you more than I want this right
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now. And then just stop talking and just sit
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there and let him whisper back to you. 20 minutes
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with God. I'm sure that there's an app on your
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phone that you've spent more than 20 minutes
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on and you wasted your time and you came out
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no stronger from that app than scrolling or watching
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a TV show. just sitting with God for 20 minutes
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can be years uh decades of of watching tv you
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know on your favorite scrolling app whatever
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um i mean just the presence of God and just sitting
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with him and i mean you know when i tell the
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kids this and it's it's you know keep it simple
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he does not say that you have to spend five minutes
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with me, 10 minutes with me, it's not about that.
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It's about that relationship. It's about that
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love. It's about that just admiration and fear
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of the Lord. And fear is the awe of God. And
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we should never lose that fear. We should never
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lose that spark. We should never lose that and
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that, you know, just that awe and love of God.
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And then just sitting with him for 20 minutes.
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Okay, absolutely. The guy that just made the
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sunrise, I get a chance to sit with him. Absolutely.
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Let's go. Let's talk. Let's just love on each
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other. And I want to tell you everything. And
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you are a heavenly father. And you want to know
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all the things that are going on in my life.
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And I love you for this. Let's talk about Joseph.
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His own brother betrays him. He was thrown into
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a pit, sold into slavery. He gets lied about,
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imprisoned. If anyone has a right to be bitter,
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it would be Joseph. But years later, when he
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faces those same brothers, he said, you meant
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evil against me, but God meant it for good. In
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Genesis 50 -20. Or take David. Saul tried to
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kill him multiple times. David had the opportunity
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to strike back, but instead he said, I will not
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lay a hand on the Lord's anointed. He trusted
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God to deal with Saul. God will fight your battles.
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God will work on that person. And also too, if
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you have strife with somebody, you pray for them.
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You pray for God to change their heart. You pray
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for God to change their vision. You pray that
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God illuminates why you are so hurt or you held
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onto that bitterness because you don't know what
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that person's working through. You don't know
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the context of their life and how they were raised
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or how they were taught or whatever's going on
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in their life. So allowing that situation not
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for you to hold onto that bitterness, but to
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pray for that person. Because what happens if
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there's something going on and you don't know?
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And so allowing that strife in your life to just
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illuminate and be an intercessor for that person.
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And then of course, you have Jesus, betrayed
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by Judas, denied by Peter, abandoned by his disciples,
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mocked, beaten. crucified and yet hanging on
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the cross he said father forgive them for they
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know not what they do do you see that pattern
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God doesn't minimize your hurt but he does show
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you the way out and the way out is never bitterness
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it's always forgiveness there's sometimes there's
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some things that we don't like to admit sometimes
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our silence is just disobedience in disguise.
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The spirit prompts us to speak, to apologize,
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to reconcile, to encourage, but we just stay
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quiet. Why? Because it's uncomfortable. We don't
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like confrontation. We don't like to bring up
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old hurt. We don't like to, we just want to sweep
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it under the rug. Because we're scared of rejection.
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We're scared of confrontation. We're scared of
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the unknown. But in James 417 says if anyone
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then knows that God, that the good, they ought
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to do and doesn't, it's a sin. That includes
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holding back forgiveness. That includes ignoring
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the Holy Spirit. And so really looking and just
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sitting with him and asking God search my heart.
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What is the bitterness? What am I holding on
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to? What what don't I trust you with what what
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battles that I'm I trying to face? Why am I so
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tired all the time and he's like cuz you're fighting
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a battle that you were never meant to fight you
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were holding on to all these burdens and forgiveness
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and bitterness and the bitterness and anger and
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resentment that we hold on to people We are never
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gonna be able to be filled up with his love because
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all the crooks and crannies of our heart are
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filled with bitterness and anger. We have no
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room for his love. And so allowing that to be
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emptied and allowing that the just to get it
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out and pour it out and just feeling that burden
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just leave you. There is no better feeling about
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just laying it at his feet and walking away.
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And so if you're listening right now and you
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feel that weight you've been holding on to for
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months even years. You need to hear this. God
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sees you. He's not forgotten you. He's not asking
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you to minimize the pain. He's asking you to
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hand it over. Bitterness wants you chained to
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it. Jesus wants you free. And the freedom always
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begins with His presence. And so what was meant
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to harm you and what was meant to divide you?
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The devil won that day because you're holding
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on in resentment and just anger and bitterness.
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And he was like, yeah, I got him where I want
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him. I don't want them to talk. I want them to
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hold on to that bitterness and anger and that
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hurt. I don't want them to talk it out. I don't
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want them to see God working in their lives.
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I don't want them to see what is on the other
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side of forgiveness. I want them to stay mad.
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I want them to hang on to bitterness. And I don't
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want the devil to win any day. I want to walk
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in freedom. I want to walk with my heart just
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full of his love because I'm not holding on to
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anything that I'm not supposed to hang on to.
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And so maybe today, instead of one more mental
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replay of what they did, open your hands and
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say, God, I release this to you. I forgive. Help
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me. I want your freedom more than I want to be
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right, more than I want to hold onto this. I'm
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tired of holding onto it. And so if this message
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helped you today, share it. Send it to a friend
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that is walking through bitterness. That is,
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you know, that friend that's always angry. Send
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it to them. Because as I can see in our youth,
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that we have a lot of angry kids. We have a lot
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of people that are holding on to hurts and grudges
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and just walking around mad all the time and
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they have anger issues and things of that nature.
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Send it to whoever you feel would benefit from
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this. And so we would love to pray for you today.
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And so dear Heavenly Father, thank you for today.
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Thank you for yesterday. Father, you see the
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deep places that we're hurt and that we're carrying.
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You see the ways of bitterness, how it's wrapped
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around our hearts. We don't want to grieve the
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spirit any longer. Teach us how to forgive, not
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in our own strength, but in your strength. Draw
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us into the silence and stillness. Heal what
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is unhealable and remind us that you are our
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God, that you are our Father and that we are
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safe with you. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.
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Amen. Thank you guys so much for spending time
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with us on Fostering Faith. In this episode,
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stirred you something in your heart. Share it
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with a friend. Sit with God this week. Don't
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listen and just respond. And as always, keep
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fostering your faith. And check out our new website,
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fosteringfaithmedia .com. And until next time,
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don't let the bitterness hold you. Listen to
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the Holy Spirit, sit with God, and walk in His
20:59
freedom. We love you guys. Have an amazing week.