Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / 10 Things That Narcissists Hate About You
Transcript
- 0:00So narcissist and hating you seem to go hand in hand, right?
- 0:05Do narcissist actually hate you? Do they?
- 0:08What do they hate about you if they hate you at all?
- 0:10That's what we're going to be talking about today.
- 0:13Y'all 10 things that narcissist may hate about you.
- 0:18If you do hear my name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:19I'm a diagnosed narcissist that is here to give you the
- 0:22perspective of a diagnosed narcissist.
- 0:24And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:44Welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back.
- 0:46Yes, y'all 1010 lovely things that narcissists may or could
- 0:52hate about you yeah may or could mean that not every single
- 0:56narcissist or types of person is going to feel the exact same
- 0:58way. Not every one of them is going
- 1:01to hate you for the exact same reasons.
- 1:03But I compiled this list of 10 things that they might hate
- 1:06about you for whatever reason, for whatever reason.
- 1:11All right, let's hop right into it.
- 1:12And these are no particular order, right?
- 1:15I didn't rank these in order of hatred factor, like the the
- 1:18scale of hatred. You know, the like the scale of
- 1:21hotness for like a like a a chili pepper, like I didn't rate
- 1:24this on the scale of hatred. So the first thing I got my list
- 1:30is your happiness. Your ability to be happy could
- 1:34absolutely be to make a narcissist have hate for you
- 1:39have hate for you. And I'm not saying that
- 1:43narcissists hate you as a person hate you in generally these
- 1:46things are going to be talking about they hate about you.
- 1:49They hate you for right they hate.
- 1:51You know, it's like I said, they hate your ability to be happy.
- 1:55So they treat you a certain type of way because it stems from a
- 1:57place of jealousy. If you can't tell it stems from
- 2:00a place of being jealous. They are jealous of your ability
- 2:03to be authentically happy and you authentically experience
- 2:08that joy and whatnot. So they they hate the fact that
- 2:11you can absolutely be happy. And now I know that sounds
- 2:15trivial. I know that sounds crazy as hell
- 2:17and I know it makes some people just feel bad.
- 2:19Just like, so I should I not be happy around my partner because
- 2:23they hate it? No, be you, be you to fool.
- 2:27Be you to your fool. Be You Beautiful, right?
- 2:29You have to be. You still have to live your
- 2:31life. It's just like in the mind of a
- 2:33narcissist, they're just going to hate you for certain things
- 2:35that you, a lot of these things could be out of your control.
- 2:38You can't control whether or not you're happy, right?
- 2:40Things make you happy. Like I'm never going to smile.
- 2:43I'm not going to. I'm not going to smile around my
- 2:44partner because they're going to get angry.
- 2:46They're going to be upset with me.
- 2:47Let me, let me not smile. What sense does that make,
- 2:50y'all? That's wild.
- 2:52It's for us to even think that. It is wild to consider stifling
- 2:55your happiness, to make this person more comfortable, right?
- 2:59So they don't have hatreds towards you.
- 3:01If it's not one thing, they're going to find something else.
- 3:03Y'all narcissistic people. We have a, we have a very, very
- 3:06uniquely bored mind. So we're going to be finding
- 3:09something that pisses us off or that makes us angry about you.
- 3:12One way or another, I'm going to find you.
- 3:14I'm going to get you, get you, get you, get you.
- 3:15I always remember that song from the That Orange, the orange tape
- 3:22on the Rugrats tape, Rugrats lost in Paris.
- 3:25One way or another, I'm going to find you.
- 3:28All right. That's the first thing, y'all,
- 3:33The second thing I have on the list.
- 3:35Again, this is not in any order the way you make them feel about
- 3:39themselves. So this is the big one, right?
- 3:42This is one of the big ones. A lot of people asking me do
- 3:45narcissists hate you? And I tell them I don't think
- 3:48they hate you in particular. They hate how you make them feel
- 3:53about themselves. They say they hate how you make
- 3:56them feel about themselves. Like it's just internally they
- 3:59hate being around you because you make them feel bad about
- 4:02themselves being around you. Being in your presence makes
- 4:05them feel shame. So they hate how you make them
- 4:08feel about themselves. You see what I'm saying?
- 4:12It's like it's not the fact that they hate you in general that
- 4:14they want to bury you and destroy you.
- 4:17They hate how you make them feel about themselves.
- 4:19And a lot of times there's nothing that you can do about
- 4:21that. Y'all like you are being, you
- 4:24might be a great person, you might be amazing and a lot of
- 4:26these other reasons right compiled on this list are going
- 4:30to kind of get into, get into that mind and let you know like
- 4:33this is one of the, this is probably one of the things that
- 4:35they hate about you, right? The next thing I got on the
- 4:39list, y'all, your ability to be authentic, your ability to be
- 4:45real can make a narcissist have hatred towards you or, or just
- 4:49hate about you. They can hate your ability to be
- 4:53real 'cause this is how the mind works, right?
- 4:56This is how we go about doing things like your ability cause
- 4:59narcissists. We feel like we have to fake the
- 5:01funk, right? We feel like we cannot be
- 5:05ourselves around anybody. We feel like we have to steal
- 5:08the identity of other people in order to feel whole, in order to
- 5:12feel OK, in order to feel some type of emotional mental safety,
- 5:15right? We feel like we have to do this
- 5:17stuff to protect ourselves, whereas you get to be
- 5:21authentically you, you get to be you.
- 5:24And that's crazy as hell for my in my mind, that's crazy.
- 5:27Like I got to fake the funk while you get to be you.
- 5:33You going to be you. Boy, that blows my mind.
- 5:36It pisses me off. It can piss the narcissistic
- 5:38person in your life off and can make them have hatred towards
- 5:41you. So that's another thing that
- 5:43they can hate, have hatred towards you for.
- 5:45Right there is the fact that your ability to be authentic in
- 5:48life, your ability ability to have your own identity, your
- 5:51ability to authentically be you and not have to fake who you
- 5:55are. They might they might look the
- 5:56crazy thing I might do is they might tell you that you're that
- 5:59you're faking the phone. They might tell you that you're
- 6:02faking who you are, but that's because they know that they have
- 6:05to do this is this is them projecting y'all The next thing
- 6:07if I don't see me looking over here, I got my list on my on my
- 6:09screen right here. I have to look at my list.
- 6:12The next thing I have on my list is drum roll.
- 6:16Your friends and family 123 45678910 OK yeah your friends
- 6:24and family. They can hate your friends and
- 6:26family, your support system. They hate your friends and
- 6:29family. Now again, not every not No2
- 6:32narcissists are going to be the same right?
- 6:33Some of them will love your friends and family.
- 6:35Some of them will love to be around your friends and family.
- 6:39A lot of them will try to take over your friends and family.
- 6:43They'll try to replace. They hate your friends and you
- 6:46know a lot of them. If they do love your friends and
- 6:48family, they'll try to replace you in your friends and family
- 6:50group. They're trying to replace you
- 6:51and your friend group. If even if you introduced them
- 6:55to those friends, they will try to replace you and try to get
- 6:57you out of the group. But a lot of times they don't
- 7:00like you having a they don't like you have being around
- 7:02people and having a voice. So they will try to eliminate
- 7:05your friends and family, your support system, anybody that you
- 7:09can talk to to to anybody that you can talk to about them, they
- 7:13don't want in your life because they hate that they always
- 7:15narcissist. We tend to be very paranoid
- 7:17people. So we're always thinking that
- 7:19somebody else is against us. We always thinking that the
- 7:22world is against us. We always thinking that people
- 7:23have ulterior motives and whatnot.
- 7:25So we hate your friends and family for that very reason,
- 7:28because we think that everybody's against us or that
- 7:31your friends and family might be able to see through us where you
- 7:34can't. So we try to get rid of them,
- 7:37maybe not physically like brave and unlock them.
- 7:40We try to get rid of them in a way that's beneficial to us.
- 7:44Like to get to the point where you have to make a choice
- 7:47between me or them. And a lot of times y'all be
- 7:50choosing us and then you isolate, you isolate yourself
- 7:52from your friends and family and then you have no support system.
- 7:55And that's how we like you. That's the way we like it.
- 7:57Yeah. The next thing that I have on my
- 8:00list is whatever they loved about you in the beginning.
- 8:07And this is a unique one. That's some of the stuff on this
- 8:08list you probably haven't heard about, right?
- 8:11A lot of times narcissists love things about you in the
- 8:14beginning. They love it.
- 8:15They love certain things about you in the beginning.
- 8:18They love the fact that you, you, you you have the ability to
- 8:21be authentic. They love the fact that you have
- 8:22the ability to be happy. They love the fact that you have
- 8:24friends and family. They love the fact that you
- 8:26never met a stranger. They love how open and honest
- 8:29and talkative you all right, they love it.
- 8:31But then guess what happens later on?
- 8:33They turn around and hate the same things that they claim They
- 8:36love the same thing that they claim they love earlier in the
- 8:40relationship. They turn around and hate later
- 8:42on. It is crazy how it works.
- 8:45Like I could tell you that I love everything about you.
- 8:47You're so beautiful. You this, you that.
- 8:49Now later on you're not beautiful.
- 8:51You're a whore. I lied to you, You don't look
- 8:54good, you're stupid, you talk too damn much, you're too
- 8:56mouthy. Your you know your friends and
- 8:59family are stupid. They will legit tell you that
- 9:02they hate like I said, they would legit hate everything
- 9:04about you that they loved in the beginning.
- 9:07That's a cycle that might most people probably can, you know,
- 9:10understand right there. They're like the same things
- 9:12that they claim that they loved in the beginning.
- 9:14They turn around and hate later on.
- 9:17So the next one I got on the list, y'all your presence, your
- 9:21y'all. This is going to be a rough
- 9:23ride. I already know like sometimes
- 9:26they hate just being around you. Oh my goodness, this is they
- 9:33hate being around you. They hate your presence like you
- 9:37ever hear them complaining about you had the way you breathe gets
- 9:40on their nerves, the sound of your voice that you're you're
- 9:43irritating me right now. Your energy is awful.
- 9:46They sometimes can get to the point where they hate your
- 9:49presence like they hate being around you.
- 9:52They hate being in a relationship with you.
- 9:53They hate the overall the the relationship dynamic in general.
- 9:59This is a crazy one right here. Like you, you hear them like ah,
- 10:01you breathe. I can't stand you.
- 10:02I can't be around Drake. You're energy vampire.
- 10:04They a lot of times they will start projecting exactly what
- 10:08they are doing onto you. They'll tell you that you're
- 10:10doing the same thing right. So your presence could upset
- 10:13them. And I'm I'm not going to do
- 10:15rapid fire y'all, but y'all, I don't like these videos go on
- 10:17too long. The next one I have on the list
- 10:19y'all is your success. Imagine your success, your
- 10:28promotion, your college graduation pissing them off.
- 10:35This is the type of stuff that it's like your success can make
- 10:39them hate that they can hate that about you, you being
- 10:42successful, even if they themselves are successful,
- 10:45right? Even if they themselves are
- 10:47successful, like they'll try to bring you down a notch because
- 10:51they feel like they had they're in competition with you.
- 10:54So your success can absolutely set them off.
- 10:58Your success could piss them off.
- 11:00Like you're you, you, you. Moving up the corporate ladder
- 11:03can absolutely make them mad as hell.
- 11:05I know it sounds stupid, but This is why a lot of times they
- 11:09start ruining your special events, they start ruining your
- 11:11celebrations, they start ruining and a lot of things that are
- 11:14going on because they hate your success.
- 11:16Your success irritates their souls.
- 11:19Now I hate the fact that a lot of people go through that, but
- 11:20this is literally the crux of it right here.
- 11:22Y'all the next one I'll hear y'all is not going to apply to
- 11:26everybody, but it's going to apply to a lot of people.
- 11:28I got I have your kids if you have them like your your kids
- 11:33from a previous relationship. Now in the beginning they might
- 11:37pretend to like those kids, those kids like this is my son,
- 11:40this is my daughter. Hey, I'm your stepmama, I'm your
- 11:43stepdaddy. Even if y'all are not married
- 11:45they will use those your children as a way to get into
- 11:48your life. Especially if you're if the
- 11:50other parent, your other Co parent or whatever has abandoned
- 11:52the kids and what not or is not around a lot.
- 11:56They're going to jump on the opportunity to try to replace
- 11:58that person and get them out of your life anyway right?
- 12:01A lot of times this is what happens.
- 12:03They will hate your kids and treat your kids like second
- 12:06class citizens. They will treat your kids like
- 12:09your kids are like problematic or just ugly or stupid or just
- 12:12not good enough. They will treat your kids like
- 12:14your, your children are burdens and even even if they themselves
- 12:18have kids, they will treat your kids as less than.
- 12:21And y'all have kids together. Sometimes they will.
- 12:23They will, yeah, sometimes they will hate your own kids as well,
- 12:26right? They will hate the kids that
- 12:28y'all have together because they feel like you tried to trap
- 12:30them. Dude, you tried to trap me.
- 12:31I don't want these kids. You know, I didn't want to be a
- 12:32a parent. Look at you got me these kids.
- 12:34This is on you rabble, rabble, rabble.
- 12:36So sometimes they will hate your kids and treat them horribly.
- 12:38They abuse their step kids or pre step kids all the time.
- 12:42So they're abusing the step kids.
- 12:44Y'all, I'm OK. Just be careful.
- 12:45Just be careful. I had that written down.
- 12:48Next thing I have right here y'all, I have two more.
- 12:50So #8 let's so #9 no, no, wait, no #9 your past.
- 12:57Oh my goodness, your past life, your past experiences, your
- 13:01past, whatever can make the narcissist or, or your past
- 13:06experiences can make the narcissistic person hate you.
- 13:10And I know this sounds just so childish and trivial, but your
- 13:12past can and will be used against you in the court of
- 13:15narcissism. A lot of narcissistic people are
- 13:18going to use your past against you and they're going to hate
- 13:21you for it. If you've been with them, if
- 13:22you've been in previous relationships before them,
- 13:24they're going to hate that about you.
- 13:25They're going to bring it up all the time.
- 13:26They're going to call your ex a bum.
- 13:28They're going to do a lot of different things to antagonize
- 13:30you, to make you feel less than and less worthy.
- 13:32This is the mentality of a lot of abusive, manipulative people.
- 13:35They're going to make you feel this way because they feel a lot
- 13:38of times they feel this way about themselves.
- 13:39So they are projecting this onto you, to your past can make them
- 13:44they can hate, they can hate your past.
- 13:45This can be one of the things that they hate about you.
- 13:47And the last thing I have on the list, y'all is your future.
- 13:51Yeah, your future plans and dreams can't make narcissists
- 13:55hate you or hate that. They can hate that about you.
- 13:58The fact that you were able to plan for the future, the fact
- 14:00that you have goals and dreams and aspirations, you know, and
- 14:04the fact that you might be hitting some of those goals or
- 14:06doing things that are actually leading to you achieving those
- 14:08goals and dreams, actually actually leading to you
- 14:11achieving that future that you plan on having, right?
- 14:14That could piss narcissistic people off.
- 14:15They can make that. They can make them have hatred
- 14:17towards you because of that right there, like because
- 14:20narcissists have delusions and a lot of times those delusions
- 14:23they're not doing anything to follow through on.
- 14:25If you're following through with your stuff, they can hate that
- 14:27about you as well, y'all. So that'll close the list out.
- 14:30If I missed any, drop it in the comment section, y'all.
- 14:33Again, this does not mean that they hate you.
- 14:36They hate this about you. That's good.
- 14:38Some narcissists hate you. Yeah, absolutely right.
- 14:41Anyways, y'all, turn on, hit those, subscribe to the channel.
- 14:44If you're already subscribed, turn on hit that notification
- 14:46bell to turn on notifications so you don't miss the upload and
- 14:49whatnot. Y'all Anyways, y'all he does I'm
- 14:51and I'm out I'm jumbling I'm out peace.
- 14:55Before you go, make sure that you hit that subscribe button if
- 14:58you haven't already. Y'all you already here just hit
- 15:00the button. Also, you can find my coaching,
- 15:02my courses, my one on ones. Everything is available at my
- 15:05website, mentalillness.net, kids book, self love journal.
- 15:09Also check out joining the channel memberships as well.
- 15:11Y'all thank you so much for being here.
- 15:12I'm super grateful I'm out. Peace.