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The DARK Truth About Workplace Addiction and Burnout · Business Roundtable

0:31
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Business Roundtable podcast. We have another
0:35
Speaker 1: fantastic episode and a brand new guest here on the podcast,
0:38
Speaker 1: doctor Jeffrey.
0:40
Speaker 2: I'm super excited to have on.
0:42
Speaker 1: We connected with a lot of shared connections on LinkedIn
0:44
Speaker 1: and then we were just talking and sharing our shared
0:47
Speaker 1: passion for transformation and helping individuals.
0:51
Speaker 2: Grow and I.
0:54
Speaker 1: Doctor Jeffrey Audi, having you here is so exciting for
0:58
Speaker 1: me because of the work important. You're doing it ignited
1:01
Speaker 1: and we're going to get into today the idea of
1:05
Speaker 1: people struggling with workout, work burnout, I should say, and
1:10
Speaker 1: dealing with you know, doing dealing with and healthy ways.
1:13
Speaker 1: And we want to learn from you in how do
1:17
Speaker 1: we number one address it, just identify it and get healthier.
1:20
Speaker 1: So I just want to say thank you for being
1:23
Speaker 1: on the podcast.
1:23
Speaker 2: Welcome. We're so glad to have you here.
1:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, thank you so much for having me. I
1:28
Speaker 3: love this topic of burnout. I think a lot of
1:30
Speaker 3: people have it wrong. I think a lot of people
1:32
Speaker 3: think that you burn out when you work hard, and
1:35
Speaker 3: I think there's a lot more to it. I actually
1:37
Speaker 3: love the Freudian slip on workout because you know, I
1:41
Speaker 3: think there are a lot of physical manifestations or a
1:46
Speaker 3: lot of physical lessons we can take from athletes from sports,
1:51
Speaker 3: from working out, physical labor that really parlay well to
1:57
Speaker 3: the business and self improvement side of things.
2:01
Speaker 2: Mm hmm yeah.
2:02
Speaker 1: I mean this what your mission is of I and
2:08
Speaker 1: as I've been learning, and I'm excited to unpack this
2:09
Speaker 1: and more about how do we create transformational leadership, help
2:14
Speaker 1: create solutions that challenge the status quo or like it's
2:17
Speaker 1: always this way or there's better ways to do things.
2:19
Speaker 2: And that's why I'm super excited.
2:20
Speaker 1: To have you here of what you've been learning, what
2:23
Speaker 1: you've been sharing, what you've been studying, to help our
2:25
Speaker 1: listeners understand because on the Business round Table podcast we
2:28
Speaker 1: have lots of different guests.
2:29
Speaker 2: Come on, we haven't talked about this specifically.
2:31
Speaker 1: And I feel like there's a lot of folks that
2:33
Speaker 1: just feel like if I just do more, I'll figure
2:37
Speaker 1: out how to do this. I was just talking to
2:39
Speaker 1: a colleague actually idea about how she was making more money,
2:43
Speaker 1: making more money, and then she was buying more things
2:46
Speaker 1: and she's just a bad cycle of unhealthy living that
2:50
Speaker 1: and then we can get worse. So you know, I
2:53
Speaker 1: want to get your feedback, and you know, just how
2:56
Speaker 1: do we even identify are we going to burnout?
3:00
Speaker 2: Are we starting to go into chronic stress addiction? And
3:04
Speaker 2: are even because.
3:04
Speaker 1: Sometimes people are in denial, they don't really even realize that.
3:07
Speaker 1: So how would you even help people identify, Hey, are
3:10
Speaker 1: you are you really in burnout? Are you really in
3:14
Speaker 1: starting to be in work workplace like addiction?
3:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, would say that. I love that. So I'm actually
3:20
Speaker 3: gonna pull up on the side over here as we
3:22
Speaker 3: talk this a burnout talk that I that I give
3:26
Speaker 3: oftentimes to associations or corporations and pull some information from
3:30
Speaker 3: us as we want it. But first of all, it's
3:32
Speaker 3: important to recognize that many many employees in America, in
3:37
Speaker 3: the US are closer to burnout than they think oftentimes.
3:41
Speaker 3: And that's I'm saying that more because I want to
3:43
Speaker 3: just set the standard that if we think of these
3:50
Speaker 3: other people out there, we oftentimes don't pay enough attention
3:54
Speaker 3: to our own struggles, our own needs. And then what
3:58
Speaker 3: we we let go of the controls, we let go
4:02
Speaker 3: of the processes, the habits that we need to put
4:06
Speaker 3: in place to protect ourselves. And so I think the
4:08
Speaker 3: big piece of the puzzle I want to I'm gonna
4:11
Speaker 3: pull up for us here in a second, as I
4:13
Speaker 3: absolutely see it. So I don't I hate misquoting things
4:16
Speaker 3: of being a researcher. I always want to make sure
4:18
Speaker 3: I get the right number.
4:19
Speaker 2: I get that.
4:20
Speaker 3: But yeah, But but burnout is a is a real issue,
4:26
Speaker 3: and you identify not just by people being stressed out.
4:30
Speaker 3: So stress is obviously a big piece of it. But
4:32
Speaker 3: there are other aspects to to a burnout means to
4:36
Speaker 3: an individual in a work environment that I think are
4:39
Speaker 3: really important, And a lot of them have to do
4:41
Speaker 3: with isolation, with becoming less involved in your work and
4:46
Speaker 3: your personal relationships, feeling like what you do doesn't matter
4:50
Speaker 3: right Like, those are some of the big pieces that
4:52
Speaker 3: are part of burnout. And depending on the kind of
4:56
Speaker 3: work that you do, if you don't like to fight
5:00
Speaker 3: early enough, you can get caught in this cycle. And
5:03
Speaker 3: you know, a lot of us have really stressful jobs.
5:07
Speaker 3: And so I think I already said this, but I
5:10
Speaker 3: just want to really really really stress this. You can
5:13
Speaker 3: be in a very very stressful job, think firefighting, Think
5:17
Speaker 3: you know er physician, think you know pilots like really
5:22
Speaker 3: high stress jobs, yep, and put the habits in place,
5:28
Speaker 3: so that you don't experience burnout, I'll say definitely not regularly. Right,
5:33
Speaker 3: So burnout will come from chronic stress over time, when
5:36
Speaker 3: you feel like you're inefficient, like you're ineffective, you feel
5:39
Speaker 3: like there's no way out, you're disconnected from the purpose
5:42
Speaker 3: and the reason why you do that work, combine to
5:46
Speaker 3: creating a sense of failure at your life, your professional life,
5:52
Speaker 3: with which then can lead to burnout. And so we
5:55
Speaker 3: have to pay attention to all of those factors. You
6:00
Speaker 3: know you mentioned, how does somebody know? Oftentimes you won't
6:04
Speaker 3: necessarily know yourself unless assessments on it. And so I'm
6:09
Speaker 3: always a really big believer in getting information from other
6:12
Speaker 3: people around you, talking to others, sharing, you know, one
6:17
Speaker 3: other big thing for us in the US in particular,
6:20
Speaker 3: we don't like showing vulnerability. Yep, we're really I mean,
6:23
Speaker 3: that's why Brene Brown's work has landed for so many people,
6:26
Speaker 3: right We for so many years we've been told, you
6:31
Speaker 3: know this, stiff upper lip, keep your chin up, everything fine.
6:35
Speaker 3: And so burnout is about identifying things long before they
6:39
Speaker 3: get to the place where you're thinking of quitting, thinking
6:41
Speaker 3: of harming yourself, you're in depression. It's about identifying when
6:46
Speaker 3: you're in the process before it gets too bad, so
6:48
Speaker 3: you can actually put the boundaries, put the the roadblocks
6:52
Speaker 3: in place to make sure you never get there.
6:54
Speaker 2: Yeah. Man, you hit a lot of good points there.
6:57
Speaker 2: And I feel like the death only the vulnerability, like
7:01
Speaker 2: you said, guilt and.
7:02
Speaker 1: Jane, I have been reading Bernie Brown's Atlas of the
7:06
Speaker 1: Heart understanding all these emotions and being able to you know,
7:10
Speaker 1: access them and without you know, guilt or saying like
7:13
Speaker 1: you said that set stuff upper lip. I feel like
7:15
Speaker 1: that's where a lot of standard, like I don't know,
7:18
Speaker 1: corporate wellness programs, well well intentioned, don't actually get to
7:23
Speaker 1: the root cause of what you're talking about. It's like, Okay,
7:26
Speaker 1: let's put a band aid on it or something. It
7:28
Speaker 1: doesn't really get to the real issue, right.
7:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, Look, it's it's so job specific. It's right, there
7:36
Speaker 3: are themes for burnout. But I believe in mental health
7:40
Speaker 3: in general, too often we try to we try to
7:47
Speaker 3: have a unifying theory that will apply to everybody all
7:49
Speaker 3: the time, and that can work in the abstract, but
7:54
Speaker 3: it'll probably be really big and general, hyper general, even
8:00
Speaker 3: because you're trying to include everybody, and then when you
8:02
Speaker 3: go talk to a specific person, you go talk to
8:04
Speaker 3: a specific entrepreneur or founder. Right, I've worked with musicians
8:09
Speaker 3: and athletes. I can't tell a musician. I mean, look
8:14
Speaker 3: on one of the biggest musicians I ever worked with,
8:16
Speaker 3: I asked them on day one will we matter, said
8:17
Speaker 3: when are you going to stop touring? Because it was
8:19
Speaker 3: killing him? Right, And then he said, I can't. I
8:21
Speaker 3: mean I can't. I mean, you know, not only does
8:24
Speaker 3: his life depend on it, and also his you know,
8:26
Speaker 3: he loves doing his art, but also you know, fifteen
8:29
Speaker 3: of his friends, his whole family, like everybody dependent on
8:32
Speaker 3: him touring. So there are limitations. He did end up
8:36
Speaker 3: five six, seven years later quitting touring, but you know
8:39
Speaker 3: that took a long time and he had to do
8:41
Speaker 3: a lot on the way, and so you know, the
8:44
Speaker 3: question is within the confines of what is available to
8:47
Speaker 3: this person, what can they do? Right? So with an athlete,
8:52
Speaker 3: it's like, I mean, they got to do the workouts,
8:54
Speaker 3: they got to do the studying, they got to do
8:55
Speaker 3: self care, the massages and all that other stuff because
8:58
Speaker 3: they have to take care, you know, the nutrition, because
9:00
Speaker 3: they got to take care of their body long term
9:01
Speaker 3: in order to have longevity. So where do you put
9:04
Speaker 3: the self care in? Because self care is not negotiable,
9:07
Speaker 3: So when do you fit it in? Is it? You know? Now?
9:10
Speaker 3: You see athletes like NBA players sometimes with headphones on
9:14
Speaker 3: on the bench, like meditating or listening to music while
9:16
Speaker 3: they're shooting. Why are they doing that? Because they need
9:18
Speaker 3: to eke out even if it's five percent of their
9:21
Speaker 3: time for self care. I've got a client. I've got
9:25
Speaker 3: a client in finance, Like you know, when they're talking
9:27
Speaker 3: to big investors. Does it matter how I feel about
9:31
Speaker 3: what they need to do about their self care? Not
9:32
Speaker 3: so much? Right, if they got to prepare for a
9:34
Speaker 3: big meeting where there's hundreds of millions or a billion
9:37
Speaker 3: or two or three billion dollars at steak, would you
9:42
Speaker 3: stay up all night? Like, would you work your butt
9:44
Speaker 3: off for five days straight and not work out if
9:46
Speaker 3: there's a billion dollars.
9:47
Speaker 2: On at steak?
9:48
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people would say I'd at
9:50
Speaker 3: least try it, right, So it's like, you have to
9:53
Speaker 3: fit the burnout prevention to the environment and the requirements
9:58
Speaker 3: of the individual, and each one one of us has
10:00
Speaker 3: to make those decisions for ourselves.
10:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, that's that there's a lot in there.
10:05
Speaker 1: I'm excited to unpack this because, like you said, the
10:09
Speaker 1: reality is we we're dealing with this. I work with
10:13
Speaker 1: a lot of companies and we're always about trying to
10:14
Speaker 1: get the obviously the most out of our employees. But
10:17
Speaker 1: I think that the way if we don't address this burnout,
10:19
Speaker 1: in this chronic stress or addictive behavior, our performance goes down.
10:23
Speaker 1: We're not able to actually achieve as much as we can.
10:25
Speaker 1: So it's like counter too, like I just got to
10:27
Speaker 1: do more. I got to be like you're this this
10:29
Speaker 1: gentleman like a tour, I just got to turm moere.
10:31
Speaker 2: It's like it's it's counter and productive.
10:33
Speaker 1: I've been counterintuitive, I guess is what I'm saying is
10:35
Speaker 1: like what I hear you saying is like, look, you
10:37
Speaker 1: actually do need to be health care. Maybe not completely,
10:40
Speaker 1: don't tour at all, but certainly too or less or
10:43
Speaker 1: adjusted or like you said that of that athlete putting
10:45
Speaker 1: on the meditating figuring out like how to do this.
10:47
Speaker 1: And everybody's different, like you said, the position the role
10:50
Speaker 1: that you're doing, so you can't do a one size
10:52
Speaker 1: fits all solution because everybody's different and everybody else has
10:56
Speaker 1: different backgrounds and history of you know, maybe I don't
11:00
Speaker 1: struggle with drug abuse or or or or gambling, but
11:04
Speaker 1: you know, maybe it's I want to go buy a
11:06
Speaker 1: bunch of stuff or whatever whatever that is for you, right,
11:09
Speaker 1: whatever that comes up.
11:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, I'll just give one in the mental health field.
11:17
Speaker 3: So in the mental health field you can get I'm
11:20
Speaker 3: looking at the statistic fine like seventy to eighty percent
11:22
Speaker 3: turnover rates when things are bad in terms of burnout,
11:25
Speaker 3: think like you know, residential psychiatric nurvesing like high intensity
11:30
Speaker 3: mental health jobs will sometimes I have seventy percent turnover.
11:32
Speaker 3: It's just think about that for a second. That means
11:34
Speaker 3: seventy percent of your staff will not make it to
11:36
Speaker 3: next year. So an organization that is terrible. I think
11:41
Speaker 3: about think about having a replay fifty sixty seventy percent
11:44
Speaker 3: of your workforce every year. And that's your frontline staff.
11:48
Speaker 3: So what does that do to your business? You're constantly
11:51
Speaker 3: putting out fires, So why do we want to put
11:54
Speaker 3: this You know a lot of people think, well, yeah,
11:56
Speaker 3: but there's all this work we have to do, so
11:57
Speaker 3: we've got to We've got to push everybody hard. Okay,
11:59
Speaker 3: that's it's great, but now you're gonna you're setting up
12:01
Speaker 3: more work for yourself long term. You give everybody ten
12:04
Speaker 3: percent less work, or you give them a little bit
12:07
Speaker 3: more control over the schedule, you allow them to have
12:09
Speaker 3: more self care built into those days, and you go
12:12
Speaker 3: from seventy percent turnover to fifty or forty. How much
12:16
Speaker 3: time did you save yourself by thirty percent of your
12:18
Speaker 3: staff staying longer. So that same thing applies organizationally, it
12:23
Speaker 3: applies on the individual level. And you know we're talking
12:26
Speaker 3: about the workplace. All this stuff. It impacts families, it
12:30
Speaker 3: impacts communities. You know, the impact is felt far beyond
12:34
Speaker 3: the business itself. And so I think we have to
12:37
Speaker 3: be proactive about this. And again I'll go back to
12:39
Speaker 3: the exercise example that we started out with in a
12:41
Speaker 3: way through that slip, like it's you know, everybody wants
12:45
Speaker 3: to lose weight, everybody wants to be more fit, everybody
12:48
Speaker 3: wants to look better, right, and be stronger. So let's
12:53
Speaker 3: say like those are things that everybody has, you know,
12:55
Speaker 3: to a different extent, Like some people care more about
12:57
Speaker 3: the look and other people care more about the strength.
12:58
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter, but like there's some balance of that. Yep,
13:02
Speaker 3: we don't know how to do it. We don't know
13:04
Speaker 3: how to do it right. It's like, yeah, pick some
13:07
Speaker 3: exercise regimins. If you're trying to lose more weight, then
13:09
Speaker 3: you have build some muscle. But exercise, you know, do
13:12
Speaker 3: cardiovascular work and burst burn a big enough amount of calories,
13:16
Speaker 3: but then reduce you eating. Switch up high fat, high
13:20
Speaker 3: calorie foods for low fat, lower calorie foods. Like like,
13:24
Speaker 3: it's you don't have to be a genius to figure
13:26
Speaker 3: this out, right, And are there people with medical conditions
13:29
Speaker 3: one hundred percent, But the vast majority of people what
13:31
Speaker 3: I just described would work for by vast majority of
13:33
Speaker 3: mean like up more than ninety percent. But and this
13:37
Speaker 3: actually happened to me during COVID. It's hard work, man,
13:41
Speaker 3: it's hard work. You got to show up to the
13:42
Speaker 3: gym or put your brain shoes on almost every day, yep, right, Yeah,
13:47
Speaker 3: put one or two days of rest in there, but
13:49
Speaker 3: five six days a week you gotta show up. And
13:51
Speaker 3: even on the rest days, it's active days, so you're walking,
13:53
Speaker 3: et cetera. You got to not eat fast food burgers
13:56
Speaker 3: every day. Yeah, they're on the way to work. And
13:58
Speaker 3: there are three fifty and they keep you full, but
14:01
Speaker 3: they also hurt your body, so you got to cut
14:04
Speaker 3: back on that. You gotta make lunch at home and
14:06
Speaker 3: eat cleaner foods. Everything I just described takes work, right,
14:10
Speaker 3: and so what if people do they just don't do
14:12
Speaker 3: the work. They want the outcome, they can't commit to
14:16
Speaker 3: doing the work. It's the same with her now, right.
14:20
Speaker 3: You have to eke out time. Actually literally like after this,
14:24
Speaker 3: I would have done it for this one, but I
14:25
Speaker 3: thought it was it was going to be a disruptive
14:28
Speaker 3: to our conversation. I bought a walking treadmill for my desk.
14:32
Speaker 3: I'm really working out. So what I was gonna say
14:34
Speaker 3: is in the middle of COVID when everybody was sitting
14:37
Speaker 3: at home drinking all day. Don't get me wrong, I
14:39
Speaker 3: also probably all just more than I normally do, since
14:42
Speaker 3: it was literally I'm in La, like you couldn't leave
14:45
Speaker 3: your house to day sometimes, so watch a lot of
14:49
Speaker 3: TV and drink a lot as well. A lot of
14:51
Speaker 3: people did well. I came out to LA for music,
14:55
Speaker 3: so I built a little music studio downstairs, like just
14:58
Speaker 3: order equipment and made music. And then I moved all
15:01
Speaker 3: like I bought gym equipment and moved it into my
15:04
Speaker 3: garage because I said, I can't all the gyms are closed,
15:06
Speaker 3: I can't not work out. Weirdly, I ended up working
15:09
Speaker 3: out twice as much as I used to because now
15:12
Speaker 3: it was downstairs, so I could just do a twenty
15:13
Speaker 3: minute workout down in my gym. I've continued that. I
15:16
Speaker 3: actually just share this on public on social media. It's
15:20
Speaker 3: now five years later and I still work out if
15:23
Speaker 3: I'm home because I travel off of work four or
15:25
Speaker 3: five days in my garage because it's convenient and easy.
15:29
Speaker 3: I've kept it up. And because I've kept up, my
15:32
Speaker 3: body has changed. My health has changed. My cardiov ass,
15:35
Speaker 3: my blood pressure has gone down, like all this stuff.
15:37
Speaker 3: It wasn't a problem back then, but it wasn't great.
15:40
Speaker 3: It's now vastly improved. But it's it took years, David.
15:44
Speaker 3: It took, like I would say, two years of committed work.
15:47
Speaker 3: What is everybody most excited about in America right now?
15:50
Speaker 3: O zempic and GLP one antagonist. It's like everybody is
15:55
Speaker 3: always looking for the quick fix, right right, and it's
16:00
Speaker 3: you know, we used to be depressed, then we invented prozac. Great,
16:03
Speaker 3: but now relationship breakup because people don't want to have
16:04
Speaker 3: sex with each other anymore. You know, we're still not
16:08
Speaker 3: dealing with the underlying reasons why people were depressed or
16:11
Speaker 3: stressed out. Yeah, we like put a nice band aid
16:13
Speaker 3: on it and it kind of looked okay for a while,
16:16
Speaker 3: and more and more we're realizing it's actually not helping
16:18
Speaker 3: at the deeper level. Man, anybody listening right now, If
16:22
Speaker 3: you want to prevent burnout, you want to feel better
16:24
Speaker 3: in your life on a daily basis, it's going to
16:25
Speaker 3: require work. But I think I'm borrowing from Ed Molette
16:29
Speaker 3: on this. Living a shitty life where you're unhappy and
16:32
Speaker 3: you wake up every day upset and distraught is hard.
16:36
Speaker 3: Waking up every day and doing your gratitude list and
16:38
Speaker 3: meditating and going for a walk and organizing your day
16:42
Speaker 3: and committing to finishing the one or two things you
16:44
Speaker 3: have to do that day, even if you have to
16:45
Speaker 3: work till nine pm is also hard. But then you
16:49
Speaker 3: get a life you like. So choose your heart. You
16:52
Speaker 3: know which ones do you want?
16:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, choose your heart absolutely.
16:56
Speaker 1: I mean this goes into kind of my next the
17:00
Speaker 1: area I want to get into. You know, we we've
17:03
Speaker 1: kind of set the stage. We recognize there's this burnout.
17:06
Speaker 1: We recognize this that's going on. This isn't new or
17:09
Speaker 1: just but what how do we develop kind of this
17:14
Speaker 1: this leadership driven approach this like you just kind of
17:17
Speaker 1: talked about it, Like how do we take responsibility and
17:21
Speaker 1: foster that in ourselves in that in that culture kind
17:25
Speaker 1: of you're leading by example, but like we don't take responsibility.
17:28
Speaker 2: We're a victim.
17:29
Speaker 1: And now we're, in my experience, BUDDI, we are, you know,
17:35
Speaker 1: stuck if we're a victim, we're just stuck with this
17:37
Speaker 1: is just happening with This is just happening to me,
17:39
Speaker 1: and I'm just no, I can't you know, right?
17:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, So there are a couple of things. So
17:44
Speaker 3: in my book Unhooked, one of the things that I
17:45
Speaker 3: talk about is something I call the sphere of influence.
17:49
Speaker 3: You know there some of that exists in in I Think,
17:54
Speaker 3: Think and Grow Rage too, and like some other books.
17:56
Speaker 3: But my version of it is I can split up
17:59
Speaker 3: all my oppt tunities and all the possibilities where I
18:01
Speaker 3: can put my energy in the world into three buckets.
18:04
Speaker 3: Things I fully control, things I influence, and things that
18:07
Speaker 3: are fully out of my control.
18:08
Speaker 2: Yep.
18:09
Speaker 3: I think a lot of us, a lot of us,
18:11
Speaker 3: spend a lot of our time, the majority of our
18:13
Speaker 3: time every day looking at the last bucket, the things
18:16
Speaker 3: we don't control. What does that look like for you? You
18:19
Speaker 3: may be watching the news all day about what Trump
18:21
Speaker 3: is saying, or what Kamala Harris is saying, Oh, what
18:23
Speaker 3: Putin did, or what the fucking weather is in Florida,
18:27
Speaker 3: or like, oh my god, like it's the worst global
18:29
Speaker 3: warming on the face of the planet, and you're like
18:31
Speaker 3: looking at the news and you're stressed out and you're
18:34
Speaker 3: posting on social media about it and you're really angry
18:37
Speaker 3: all day. Well, guess what. You can't do anything about
18:40
Speaker 3: any of those things. Here's what you can influence. You
18:44
Speaker 3: can influence elections to some extent. You can put votes
18:47
Speaker 3: in you you can rally, you can do that. You
18:49
Speaker 3: want to do that, go do it. But sit around
18:51
Speaker 3: your house and bemoaning reality does nothing. It's just waste
18:55
Speaker 3: your time and waste all your energy. And what it
18:58
Speaker 3: does is it doesn't leave enough energy for the things
19:00
Speaker 3: you fully control. Where I think you need to put
19:02
Speaker 3: most of your attention in the things you influence. The
19:05
Speaker 3: thing is the thing we fully control is a very
19:07
Speaker 3: small number of things. Yes, I control the actions I take,
19:10
Speaker 3: the words I speak, to some extent, the thoughts I have,
19:14
Speaker 3: although I would argue you more influence those, and you can.
19:17
Speaker 3: You can get into behaviors and habits in order to
19:20
Speaker 3: change those over time. And then I influence the people
19:23
Speaker 3: around me, but to an extent. Right. My wife is
19:26
Speaker 3: a very strong person. I influence her behavior and actions
19:30
Speaker 3: and beliefs. I don't control them. Man, I got a
19:33
Speaker 3: fourteen to twelve and a six year old. I don't
19:35
Speaker 3: even control them. I don't control my sixty year old,
19:37
Speaker 3: and I influence them. So what I say in the
19:40
Speaker 3: book is I want you spending forty to fifty sixty
19:42
Speaker 3: percent of your time every day focusing on what you
19:45
Speaker 3: can do. Then spend the next twenty thirty forty percent,
19:49
Speaker 3: depending on how much you put in that first bucket
19:51
Speaker 3: on things you influence, save ten percent if you really
19:54
Speaker 3: want for watching shit you literally can't do anything about,
19:58
Speaker 3: but it's not going to move the need on your life.
20:00
Speaker 3: So when you wake up in the morning, it's a
20:03
Speaker 3: brand new day, and you get to decide what do
20:07
Speaker 3: I want to put my energy on, and if you
20:09
Speaker 3: want to waste it, that's fine, But then don't complain
20:11
Speaker 3: that your life didn't go anywhere because you're literally putting
20:14
Speaker 3: your energy on things that will not move the needle
20:16
Speaker 3: for you move it all the way to the other side.
20:18
Speaker 3: And what I learned in my own life is some
20:21
Speaker 3: of it is about the behaviors out in the world.
20:24
Speaker 3: But part of what you control, and it takes time,
20:26
Speaker 3: is your perspective, the way you look at things. You
20:29
Speaker 3: can have two people go through these same exact experience
20:32
Speaker 3: and have a completely different impression, and what that leaves
20:34
Speaker 3: is it leaves them feeling differently and it leaves them
20:37
Speaker 3: acting differently. Right, I really love Jocko will next you know,
20:43
Speaker 3: extreme ownership, you know, And so I was already deeply
20:50
Speaker 3: into personal accountability. But just imagine to yourself the tomorrow
20:54
Speaker 3: everything falls apart for you. You lose your job, your
20:59
Speaker 3: marriage falls apart. Are like, everything just falls apart tomorrow.
21:05
Speaker 3: Is that going to be painful? And is it gonna
21:07
Speaker 3: be terrible? And is it gonna suck? But you have
21:11
Speaker 3: to make a choice. Are you're gonna show up and
21:14
Speaker 3: make the best of it and move forward in the
21:16
Speaker 3: best way possible? Or are you just going to be
21:18
Speaker 3: reactive and allow that what is now the past and
21:24
Speaker 3: has happened to control the way you show up. I
21:27
Speaker 3: think that's a choice we have to make every day,
21:29
Speaker 3: sometimes every minute, but it completely alters the way we
21:33
Speaker 3: show up in the world.
21:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent. I think I really like your
21:38
Speaker 1: idea of this influence. And one of the things we
21:40
Speaker 1: were talking about earlier on I think even well start recording,
21:44
Speaker 1: was like, how do we live transparently authentically? Because I
21:49
Speaker 1: get encouraged candidly and I know your story. One of
21:51
Speaker 1: the reasons I reached out to you is because of
21:53
Speaker 1: your your background and your history and why you wrote
21:56
Speaker 1: this book, why you have ignited and I think, you know,
22:00
Speaker 1: getting free of guilt and shame, you know, like you said,
22:03
Speaker 1: if I lost my marriage, if I lost my house,
22:06
Speaker 1: that's that's that's facts of your life. That doesn't define you.
22:10
Speaker 1: And I just if it wouldn't, if you wouldn't mind
22:13
Speaker 1: just cheering a little bit of like how you have
22:15
Speaker 1: how you influenced people by the live the life that
22:18
Speaker 1: you've been living, like the choices that you've been making,
22:20
Speaker 1: you know.
22:21
Speaker 3: Yeah, And and I'll go into that shame and piece
22:24
Speaker 3: a little bit too, because in my ten X talk
22:26
Speaker 3: I talk about it a lot, and it's funny. Now
22:28
Speaker 3: so far behind me, I forget about it. Sometimes it
22:31
Speaker 3: took years to get to that place. I'll tell a
22:34
Speaker 3: short version. I got badly addicted to meth, badly like
22:39
Speaker 3: I was. You know, I'm one hundred and sixty five
22:40
Speaker 3: pounds sitting here in front of you. I was one
22:43
Speaker 3: hundred and twenty four pounds at my lowest, forty pounds less.
22:46
Speaker 3: I was like skin and bones, yea, And I ended
22:50
Speaker 3: up serving time in jail for it. I served a year,
22:52
Speaker 3: but I had a essentially an eight year sentence that
22:55
Speaker 3: was split up into one year that I did and
22:58
Speaker 3: seven that were waiting for me if I screwed up later,
23:01
Speaker 3: and so a year in jail sucked. But I've spent
23:06
Speaker 3: a year in rehab before. Otherwise I would have spent
23:09
Speaker 3: a decade in prison because the judge needed to see
23:13
Speaker 3: me not at one hundred and twenty four pounds. I
23:14
Speaker 3: needed to clean my act up before I went for sentencing.
23:17
Speaker 3: So I fought the case for a year in while
23:20
Speaker 3: I was in rehab, and then I spent a year
23:22
Speaker 3: in jail. My dad's a physician. My mom was a
23:26
Speaker 3: human resource manager at a bank. I was upper middle
23:29
Speaker 3: class all the way. Spending a year in La County
23:32
Speaker 3: jail was not part of the plan, David. It was
23:34
Speaker 3: not on the program. If there was an outline of
23:36
Speaker 3: what my life was supposed to look like, it was
23:38
Speaker 3: nowhere in the outline. Initially, yep. But that's where I
23:41
Speaker 3: took myself. And the moment that the moment that I
23:45
Speaker 3: realized that I had taken myself there, And it didn't
23:47
Speaker 3: matter that my dad left us and was in Aho
23:49
Speaker 3: when I grew up, and it didn't mattter like all.
23:53
Speaker 3: It didn't matter that I was fourteen when we moved
23:55
Speaker 3: and I became the weird, awkward kid in high school,
23:57
Speaker 3: like all that stuff was behind me, and yes it
24:00
Speaker 3: impacted me, but it was now outside of my control,
24:03
Speaker 3: and how I showed up tomorrow was the only thing
24:05
Speaker 3: that I could control. And so when that accountability started happening,
24:09
Speaker 3: it was the first time I realized and started to
24:11
Speaker 3: take an ownership of what that needed to be and
24:13
Speaker 3: still think about it. Right a year and rehab, I'm
24:17
Speaker 3: now clean of drugs. I was completely sober when I
24:20
Speaker 3: had to go to court and turn myself in to
24:22
Speaker 3: go serve a year. So it wasn't like I got
24:26
Speaker 3: arrested for all my drugs and then served a year.
24:28
Speaker 3: I got to rest for all my drugs, feaned up
24:30
Speaker 3: my act, and then I had to go serve a year. Wow,
24:33
Speaker 3: my family and I liked each other now like we
24:36
Speaker 3: were good friends. I had people outside like I was
24:39
Speaker 3: ready to go to life, but then I had to
24:42
Speaker 3: go serve time, and I'm in jail just waiting right like,
24:47
Speaker 3: trying to make every day pass, And three hundred and
24:50
Speaker 3: sixty four days later, I was finally out able to
24:54
Speaker 3: start my life. That lesson taught me a lot. Number One,
25:00
Speaker 3: just because you are like, just because you acted well,
25:04
Speaker 3: just because you're doing well, doesn't mean that life is
25:06
Speaker 3: gonna just open up the gates for you and make
25:09
Speaker 3: everything easy. Right. Was I hoping that I wouldn't have
25:12
Speaker 3: to serve time one hundred percent? Was I lucky to
25:14
Speaker 3: get a year also? One hundred percent? Right? It's like
25:18
Speaker 3: considering what I got caught with a year in jail
25:22
Speaker 3: was not bad, and so it was fair. I was
25:25
Speaker 3: happy that that's what I got, And now what it
25:27
Speaker 3: was up to my control was just making it through
25:29
Speaker 3: but jail sucked. It was all the things about right
25:33
Speaker 3: bendover spread them thinking showers with like seventy other men
25:36
Speaker 3: in the room, like you know, murderers and rapists right
25:40
Speaker 3: next to you, and you know, screaming to other people
25:44
Speaker 3: about who they're going to kill when they come out.
25:45
Speaker 3: A year of that, a year of that, right showers
25:48
Speaker 3: twice a week when they open up the gate and
25:50
Speaker 3: you better make it out with your towel before or
25:53
Speaker 3: you never get back in. They move you around constantly, riots, lockdowns,
25:58
Speaker 3: like we only went outside. I was there for a year.
26:00
Speaker 3: We went outside three times. Oh my gosh, three times
26:04
Speaker 3: that I got outside to see a sky. You have to,
26:08
Speaker 3: but you have to figure out how to make it. Man.
26:09
Speaker 3: You can't break down so like you can't see a weakness.
26:13
Speaker 3: You can't lose your shit in there because then they'll
26:15
Speaker 3: prey on you. So when you make it out of
26:19
Speaker 3: that for a year, mm hmm, the rest of life,
26:22
Speaker 3: it's like bring it on, right, Like, I know I'm
26:25
Speaker 3: not going back to that, so you, yes, let's figure
26:27
Speaker 3: out out. I don't do that again. But the rest
26:29
Speaker 3: of it bring on. So I now get to look
26:32
Speaker 3: at my life in terms of if I could make
26:36
Speaker 3: if I could be resilient enough to make it through
26:38
Speaker 3: a challenge like that, and I have to remind myself
26:40
Speaker 3: all the time, and I can talk about how I
26:41
Speaker 3: do some of that, Then what is the next challenge?
26:44
Speaker 3: And just to be clear, jail was not the last
26:47
Speaker 3: time I had my back against the wall. I've probably
26:49
Speaker 3: had that happen two or three other times in life.
26:52
Speaker 3: What I've learned now is that's how I grow. Yes,
26:56
Speaker 3: the times that I become the best version of myself,
26:59
Speaker 3: my next best version, yep, is when there's a huge
27:02
Speaker 3: challenge in front of me. So what I've learned to
27:04
Speaker 3: do now, and this is a challenge to everybody listening
27:08
Speaker 3: to this. Stop running away from discomfort. This comfort is
27:13
Speaker 3: chasing you. And I'll give examples here in a second.
27:16
Speaker 3: But if this comfort is chasing you, it's gonna catch up.
27:19
Speaker 3: But if you don't turn around and look at the
27:21
Speaker 3: monster in its face, it's just gonna grow. Yes, I'll
27:25
Speaker 3: give examples. If you're in a job you hate and
27:28
Speaker 3: you wake up every day wanting to cry or scream
27:30
Speaker 3: or punch the wall because you have to go there,
27:32
Speaker 3: that's not gonna end. You have to do something about it.
27:36
Speaker 3: What does that mean? You may have to quit and
27:38
Speaker 3: go look for another job, or you may have to
27:40
Speaker 3: start a side hustle and fund yourself. You may have
27:43
Speaker 3: to look for a job while you're working at this job.
27:45
Speaker 3: You may have to go talk to your boss. You
27:47
Speaker 3: may have to do something really uncomfortable. But it's not
27:50
Speaker 3: gonna stop. If you're in a marriage that is problematic,
27:54
Speaker 3: or in a relationship that makes you unhappy, it's not
27:57
Speaker 3: gonna stop. Right, you have to do something about it.
28:01
Speaker 3: Talk to your partner, go to counseling, read fifty books,
28:05
Speaker 3: leave right. Some of my clients have to get divorced
28:08
Speaker 3: or leave it doesn't work right. That's okay. If a
28:12
Speaker 3: better life than the other side for you and your partner.
28:16
Speaker 3: But these things they do not resolve themselves. Right. A
28:19
Speaker 3: GLP one, an ozembic injection, or a medication is not
28:24
Speaker 3: going to fix your relationship. It may make you less
28:27
Speaker 3: upset about your relationship. But if you and your partner
28:30
Speaker 3: don't like each other and don't talk to each other,
28:32
Speaker 3: you haven't had sex and seven months, and you know
28:35
Speaker 3: you sleep in separate rooms, not because one of you snores,
28:37
Speaker 3: but because you just don't want to be in the
28:39
Speaker 3: same room together at night. That's a problem and you
28:42
Speaker 3: have to deal with it. So let's just own this shit.
28:47
Speaker 3: Wake up in the morning, you know, pound your chest
28:49
Speaker 3: a little bit, say to yourself, I'm gonna do the
28:51
Speaker 3: hard things. That to me is where workouts come in
28:54
Speaker 3: for me. Yep, Like I have, I have standards for
28:57
Speaker 3: myself and I try to meet them. I don't meet
28:58
Speaker 3: them a hundred percent at a time, just I mean,
29:01
Speaker 3: like eighty to eighty nine percent of the time, right,
29:03
Speaker 3: Like most days, I will meet my criteria of what
29:08
Speaker 3: a successful day is like. And that has taken years
29:11
Speaker 3: to trade myself to do, but it gives me confidence.
29:16
Speaker 3: So when the next goal, the next thing in my
29:18
Speaker 3: life is set in front of me, I will do
29:20
Speaker 3: the work that's required to get there.
29:22
Speaker 2: Right.
29:23
Speaker 1: So important because here you know, and I know you
29:26
Speaker 1: work with like you said, musicians, and you know, CEOs,
29:31
Speaker 1: executives and and and I think getting healthy and the
29:34
Speaker 1: work that you're doing is so important because what I
29:36
Speaker 1: do with Steward your business is really the teams. But
29:39
Speaker 1: I realize, Idi, if if if the leader is not
29:43
Speaker 1: healthy and they're not living in a good life, it's
29:47
Speaker 1: really hard to then have your team like they're looking
29:49
Speaker 1: to you right as like kind of the standard, like
29:52
Speaker 1: how should I be living?
29:54
Speaker 2: And if they're if they're now if you know, whether.
29:56
Speaker 1: They know directly, maybe they don't know all the addictions
29:58
Speaker 1: and the challenges because you can. But honestly, some people
30:01
Speaker 1: are pretty good at putting on masks and kind of
30:02
Speaker 1: trying to present something in reality, it's not it's a
30:05
Speaker 1: facade if you really pull back the curtain and look
30:08
Speaker 1: into their life, right, And so then they're not modeling.
30:12
Speaker 1: They're modeling their life off this other person, which is
30:14
Speaker 1: not good.
30:15
Speaker 2: You know.
30:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, And that's probably true in more ways than people realize.
30:19
Speaker 3: So by the way, you know, in the book I
30:20
Speaker 3: talk about work addiction itself. You know, some of my
30:24
Speaker 3: clients their worst addiction is they will not accept failure
30:31
Speaker 3: or mediocricy.
30:32
Speaker 1: And and.
30:34
Speaker 3: I know that sounds really good, right when you hear that,
30:38
Speaker 3: you're like, well, yeah, that's amazing. They don't accept failure.
30:44
Speaker 3: But then the question is what price do they pay
30:45
Speaker 3: for that? Right? So, if it's an artist, do they
30:52
Speaker 3: not go to sleep for days? Do they eat either
30:56
Speaker 3: garbage or don't eat because they're uck in creative mode
31:02
Speaker 3: and they cannot unlodge themselves. I mean, like, you know,
31:05
Speaker 3: I never worked with her, but like, oh, why she's
31:08
Speaker 3: slipping my mind right now, that soulful singer who British
31:15
Speaker 3: ended up killing.
31:15
Speaker 2: Her Amy Winehouse, Amy Winehouse.
31:18
Speaker 3: Right, It's like everybody knew the problem, but there's like
31:28
Speaker 3: you said, it's kind of like it's a little bit
31:30
Speaker 3: like watching a train wreck with some of the biggest
31:32
Speaker 3: geniuses and some of the biggest successes because we don't
31:36
Speaker 3: we don't know sometimes how to find balance in the
31:39
Speaker 3: middle of the insanity. Again, yeah, you know, I've worked
31:42
Speaker 3: with athletes, but again I've worked with musicians, athletes, CEOs.
31:46
Speaker 3: They get on a plane, they fly to Dubai or
31:49
Speaker 3: they fly to Australia. They got to land and go
31:52
Speaker 3: to meetings. You know, they might take sleeping pills on
31:55
Speaker 3: the way because though all the all the differences in
31:57
Speaker 3: in time zones, that's okay once for twe a month,
32:02
Speaker 3: two to three times a month, you're doing it all
32:04
Speaker 3: the time. You lose the ability to go to sleep
32:07
Speaker 3: on your own. Now you can't regulate. Now you're pushing
32:10
Speaker 3: yourself some You may you may close an extra deal
32:12
Speaker 3: that month or an extra couple of deals, But what
32:14
Speaker 3: are you doing to your life long term? And so
32:17
Speaker 3: it's tough. We live, especially in America, especially in the US.
32:20
Speaker 3: We live in this place where success is measured by
32:23
Speaker 3: outside achievements. But I've now worked with I'll say at
32:28
Speaker 3: least dozens, but we're probably reaching fifty or above incredibly
32:33
Speaker 3: high performing individuals across all those athletics, performance executives, incredibly
32:40
Speaker 3: high achieving people who are objectively uber successful and miserable
32:48
Speaker 3: at the same time.
32:49
Speaker 2: Yep.
32:49
Speaker 3: And I don't know. It's tough, man, But I don't
32:53
Speaker 3: know that the trade is worth it. I don't know
32:55
Speaker 3: that fifty billion dollars in a bank account is worth
32:59
Speaker 3: way making up in the morning and popping pills and
33:02
Speaker 3: starting to drink because you can't deal with your day.
33:05
Speaker 3: I don't care who you're married to, and how attractive
33:09
Speaker 3: the people you're dating are, how good the cars you
33:11
Speaker 3: have are, how big the private jet. It looks like
33:15
Speaker 3: misery when you're close to it.
33:17
Speaker 2: Yep.
33:17
Speaker 3: And so so I think work addiction is one of
33:20
Speaker 3: the things people don't talk about. But you talked about
33:23
Speaker 3: this person who buys Yeah, you know it's yeah, that's
33:26
Speaker 3: how they replace it exactly.
33:29
Speaker 1: It's just before we started recording, I was telling Adi
33:33
Speaker 1: that there's a gentleman I just recently talked with. I
33:35
Speaker 1: connected with them years ago because we were going to
33:38
Speaker 1: a program together. And this gentleman was just super uber releasing,
33:43
Speaker 1: like you said, successful on the money side.
33:45
Speaker 2: Now knew how to make money, amazing sales. Guy just
33:48
Speaker 2: knew how to do it, you know, and you know
33:51
Speaker 2: he's he's kind.
33:52
Speaker 1: He's some similar story like having to come out of
33:55
Speaker 1: prison recently because of some things that he did because
33:58
Speaker 1: he knew how to make money and he did it
33:59
Speaker 1: and how and not in an illegal way, because he
34:02
Speaker 1: knew how to get he knew how to work the
34:03
Speaker 1: system and he realized, okay, he even knew what he
34:07
Speaker 1: was doing was wrong and he knew kind of a
34:09
Speaker 1: way of like, but he was like he needed like
34:11
Speaker 1: you said, he needed a time out in his word.
34:15
Speaker 2: But here, here's what it blows down to it.
34:18
Speaker 1: You know what what I think we're trying to get
34:20
Speaker 1: at here and help me feel well, he didn't he
34:22
Speaker 1: knew how to make money, but he wasn't living in
34:24
Speaker 1: his true purpose and its true calling.
34:26
Speaker 2: And yeah, right, and so people are.
34:31
Speaker 3: Then you're living and then you're living this made up
34:33
Speaker 3: life where you have to constantly have to pretend to
34:35
Speaker 3: people about how things are going, and so you feel
34:38
Speaker 3: you feel empty, and you feel by the way, you
34:42
Speaker 3: feel alone surrounded by people because you're not really you,
34:46
Speaker 3: so they don't really the people you're around don't really
34:48
Speaker 3: know what's going on with you, and you feel some
34:51
Speaker 3: of the people I know, you know, I might be
34:53
Speaker 3: the only person they can talk to. Yeah, it's literally meat,
34:57
Speaker 3: and I'm a professional that they're paying money to. But
34:59
Speaker 3: even beyond that, I'm not with them all the time.
35:02
Speaker 3: So nine percent of their life they're literally alone. And
35:06
Speaker 3: we kind of have to set these meetings so they
35:07
Speaker 3: can almost just emote and be their real selves and
35:11
Speaker 3: feel like they're not completely trapped in their heads. So,
35:14
Speaker 3: you know, you talked the way we got to this
35:15
Speaker 3: piece was about accountability and ownership, Yes, and absolutely, And
35:19
Speaker 3: I think they's just a point that I want to
35:21
Speaker 3: make because it can feel like it can feel like
35:23
Speaker 3: a huge gap between where you are right now and
35:25
Speaker 3: where you need to go. And now I'm giving you
35:28
Speaker 3: these examples of people who quote unquote made it but
35:30
Speaker 3: had what I would consider wrong and terrible outcomes like
35:35
Speaker 3: that's not that is not how I want. But by
35:37
Speaker 3: the way, that's not to say that if you're wealthy
35:39
Speaker 3: and you made it, you have to be unhappy. They're
35:41
Speaker 3: also very happy rich people. It's just that the money
35:46
Speaker 3: doesn't define the happiness, right. The money can get you
35:50
Speaker 3: nicer cars and better planes while you're happy or unhappy.
35:53
Speaker 3: And if you're unhappy, the better planes don't really don't
35:55
Speaker 3: really work all that well. And so what I want
35:58
Speaker 3: to really press upon people I just this came front
36:02
Speaker 3: and center to me even more yesterday. I was talking
36:04
Speaker 3: to another friend of mine on the podcast and just
36:07
Speaker 3: put one foot in front of the other. It's going
36:10
Speaker 3: to take a lot of reps. Just like working out
36:13
Speaker 3: at the gym. You know, there's no workout you can
36:17
Speaker 3: do today. It does not exist on the face of
36:20
Speaker 3: the planet. And if somebody tells you that it does,
36:22
Speaker 3: they are lying to you and they're trying to get
36:24
Speaker 3: your money. Stop. There's no workout today that will make
36:27
Speaker 3: you healthy. Doesn't exist. There are five thousand workouts that
36:33
Speaker 3: if you do them every day or variant of them
36:36
Speaker 3: every day for the next three years, will make you healthy.
36:40
Speaker 3: So remember that for your own life. Right. There's no
36:45
Speaker 3: single path that you will choose today that will fix
36:48
Speaker 3: all your problems, will not happen. But if you pick
36:53
Speaker 3: one positive habit that you are not engaged in today.
36:58
Speaker 3: One of my favorite, really really simple is start expressing
37:01
Speaker 3: gratitude in your life every day for what you have.
37:05
Speaker 3: A lot of people like me. I don't know if
37:06
Speaker 3: you're to same, but a lot of these high achieving people.
37:10
Speaker 3: Unfortunately I get to put myself in that category, although
37:12
Speaker 3: nowhere near where some of my clients have been. A
37:17
Speaker 3: lot of us we're much better at looking at what's
37:20
Speaker 3: broken and not working than looking at what's already successful,
37:24
Speaker 3: and that creates a really terrible lens to look at
37:27
Speaker 3: the world through, because you can fly in your G
37:30
Speaker 3: five but wonder why that seat isn't clean, Or you
37:35
Speaker 3: can have an amazing vacation to Fiji and be on
37:40
Speaker 3: your yacht and be really really upset that it rained today,
37:44
Speaker 3: Like you can just throw things off so badly. I'm
37:47
Speaker 3: not the example I use. I think I use this
37:49
Speaker 3: in the book, but it's like you can walk, you know,
37:51
Speaker 3: walk in after a good day of work, you accomplish life.
37:53
Speaker 3: Your family's all waiting at the table, they're all ready
37:56
Speaker 3: for dinner, and everybody's really really happy, and there's a
37:58
Speaker 3: towel on the corner of the room that's just somebody
38:01
Speaker 3: left on the floor, and you look at the hell
38:03
Speaker 3: You're like, what the happen? You just start screaming at
38:05
Speaker 3: why that towel is there? You just miss ninety nine
38:08
Speaker 3: percent perfection for the one percent working. So that's that's
38:12
Speaker 3: not just why I like the gratitude habit. And there
38:14
Speaker 3: are a lot of fable tips like this in my book.
38:18
Speaker 3: But start with one. Start with one habit and commit
38:23
Speaker 3: to not finishing a day without it. Do it in
38:25
Speaker 3: the morning, but then if you forgot in the morning,
38:27
Speaker 3: do it in the afternoon. If you remember, do it
38:29
Speaker 3: in the evening. Just do not pass a day without
38:32
Speaker 3: that habit. And when that habit becomes so well ingrained
38:35
Speaker 3: you can't live a day without it. Add another habit,
38:38
Speaker 3: and another habit. It's called habit stacking. I did not
38:40
Speaker 3: invent it. But next thing, you know, two years from now,
38:45
Speaker 3: you've got four or five things, seven things, ten things
38:49
Speaker 3: that help you live a better life, and you will
38:51
Speaker 3: be happier for it.
38:53
Speaker 1: Oh man, you're dropping gold here. I hope everybody's catching this.
38:58
Speaker 1: We're getting close to the end of our episode here,
39:03
Speaker 1: you know, encourage folks to all up in your book,
39:07
Speaker 1: connect with you.
39:10
Speaker 3: Yeah, So the book is on Amazon everywhere else. It's
39:13
Speaker 3: also I have a website called read Unhooked r e
39:16
Speaker 3: A d unhooked dot com if you want to just
39:18
Speaker 3: check out more things about the book at djaffey dot
39:22
Speaker 3: com is my website and I'm on all social media,
39:26
Speaker 3: so from LinkedIn to Instagram as doctor a d. Jaffey
39:30
Speaker 3: and that's d r A d jaffe If you want
39:33
Speaker 3: to check me out there, would love to connect and yeah,
39:38
Speaker 3: and just you know, as you read my stuff, as
39:41
Speaker 3: you pay attention. I have my own podcast and Psychology
39:44
Speaker 3: Today blogs that I've been writing for years, and ted
39:48
Speaker 3: x talks and a lot of free things that are
39:50
Speaker 3: out there as well. You know. Part of the reason
39:53
Speaker 3: I share my story, and you know this is that
39:55
Speaker 3: last piece I'll say that I was talking to talk
39:57
Speaker 3: about before, about shame. I had many people in the
39:59
Speaker 3: beginning my journey tell me to not tell my story. Yeah,
40:02
Speaker 3: they told me specifically that if I tell my story,
40:05
Speaker 3: it'll block my ability to be successful because people will
40:09
Speaker 3: doubt my my genuineness or my objectivity. What I found
40:13
Speaker 3: is exactly the opposite. The more authentic and transparent you are,
40:17
Speaker 3: the better and bigger life gets because people learn to
40:20
Speaker 3: trust you because you don't mind airing out your dirty laundry.
40:24
Speaker 3: Now again, that doesn't I still have to do the
40:27
Speaker 3: work to keep becoming a better person. Right, It's not
40:29
Speaker 3: you don't do one instead of the other.
40:30
Speaker 2: You do.
40:31
Speaker 3: It's a yes d and sort of a theory. And
40:33
Speaker 3: so I urge everybody listening right now just pick it
40:36
Speaker 3: doesn't matter what it is. Just pick one thing you've
40:39
Speaker 3: learned that will make your life better. Commit one hundred
40:42
Speaker 3: percent to doing it, and over time it'll work.
40:45
Speaker 2: And we're so grateful to have you here.
40:48
Speaker 1: There's so much more we impact, but we wanted to
40:50
Speaker 1: give you, you know, some takeaways.
40:53
Speaker 2: And I really like the habit stackt that you shared.
40:55
Speaker 1: I mean that in the gratitude, super super powerful something
40:58
Speaker 1: you can do right away today. Go You'll find somebody
41:02
Speaker 1: you can appreciate and and and and and thank them
41:05
Speaker 1: and and acknowledge them in your life. I'm thankful for
41:09
Speaker 1: you to be on here on the podcast, and uh,
41:12
Speaker 1: you know, for all of you that have enjoyed this podcast.
41:15
Speaker 1: You know, like I said, go find doctor Jeffrey. He's
41:18
Speaker 1: got some great resources. We'll be posting all the show
41:21
Speaker 1: notes and all that, like, subscribe, share the podcast with
41:23
Speaker 1: others that you are listening. May may benefit from this,
41:26
Speaker 1: right there are they're facing burnout stress, right, so they're
41:29
Speaker 1: not alone, right, Hey, there's somebody else that's dealing with this.
41:34
Speaker 1: Absolutely so grateful to have you here. Thanks so much
41:37
Speaker 1: for being on the Business Ground Table podcast.
41:39
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me, David, my pleasure.
41:41
Speaker 2: Thanks everybody for listening.