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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just- The Power and Peril of Your Word 5.13.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  She Ward 217 Thank you on page 217.
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  I was thinking I'm just analyzing another area where a
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  person can develop a clans and get stronger in their character.
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  We've dealt with many, we've dealt with morals, we've dealt
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  with stealing. We've dealt with the example of
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  not hating for all the Grudge, which are difficult areas, and
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  all these areas are levels and layers where you can build a
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  barn. It makes up much stronger.
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  And overall the theme is it's not simply just to say, OK, I'm
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  not going to hate or I'm not going to steal.
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  In fact, I have to step by step get stronger and stronger after
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  the character. And you must see that there are.
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  You say to yourself, this guy's still with me like a Superman.
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  Definitely that's that's revenge.
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  That's a sweetest revenge. So I'll see you Next.
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  Up next one is over here Shawar. Shawar are swears oaths.
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  So what could be to be challengeable?
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  The challenge of the topic of oaths are we have master taught
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  of Gemara dedicated to the laws of swearing and the laws of
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  promises. And I have to keep the promise
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  if persecuted without talking about the sins that a person
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  performs commits when they don't keep their word, especially if
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  it was a swear. So where the how are their
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  layers? OK, if you swear, you got to
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  keep your word first. If I swear, I'm going to give
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  you $1000. I have to give you that money, a
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  bunch of kids. So you'll see based on the
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  concept of this team, if you swear, you got to keep your
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  word. Based on that, we have a lower
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  level of team that if you say something, you have to keep your
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  word. It may not be a swear, but it is
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  a commitment. It is a statement that someone's
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  relying on. It is giving someone else a
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  certain degree of security and commitment and they have to
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  therefore get what you said you're going to give them as a
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  lower level. It's exactly it ultimately leads
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  to a matter of truth. The issue with Shavuot is when I
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  swear, I'm strengthening my word and if I follow through, great.
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  If I don't follow through, I'm lying on a figure word and I
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  make are you allowed to swear? In general, you should not
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  swear. Generally, you should not.
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  A person should not swear, but there are certain types that
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  make you swear, which means when a person lose money and there's
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  a debate in corps and a bedeen and make a person swear, there's
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  a need for that Shavuar and what other cases.
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  There are times that people make commitments to control their own
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  self from those and they're wrong as in young to making sure
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  you're out there also or make it negative.
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  Something could happen that you can't.
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  Make a commitment. That's that's why we do it
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  tomorrow. That's why whenever we say
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  statements of mitzvah, we say Billy negative for that reason
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  exactly. So do that when the when the
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  missile, when the Bach call that shouldn't he say Billy neither?
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  Yes, he should. I think he does.
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  He doesn't say Carly. Doesn't do it.
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  OK, it's hard to say. When you say it out loud, it
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  takes you a little bit of the of the you know, the guy who's
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  making a commitment, he's giving money, you know, he almost
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  making like he's giving out a meeting.
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  We should say probably, probably and he if not except we've seen.
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  Error that let's say the guy gave three O 1 and saw only
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  wrote down to O1 and how he. Yeah.
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  I've seen it. Sure.
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  You know, a classic one is the the I've seen that here, shrimp.
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  I'll give you a classic one that happened in beta said someone
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  got out of the eye and he said 5252.
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  And I don't know what made someone believe for the first
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  one believe there's 52,000. OK, it might have either be a 52
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  or maybe 5200 for I think he said 52,000.
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  And there was a hush over the crowd and then there was a
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  mistake. Correct Shit and her laughter.
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  But yeah, that could happen easily, right?
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  So. We knew the guy that could do
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  it. We knew.
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  The guy? No, I don't think so.
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  I mean, I know who could even. Well, yeah, but yeah, so that's
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  the theme is even you got to keep your word and you should
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  avoid being forced to keep your word.
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  So I see you as well. I'm a Schwart ABBA Bisham in a
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  stomach culture. In a minute.
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  I do thought the smarter Mazi. Shame, Shame about the law Costa
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  chemistry. What?
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  Even though in general and there was anywhere any person knows.
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  We just mentioned that you should avoid using a shaman
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  name. A real swears for God's name.
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  You're using God's name for anything, especially connecting
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  God's name to a swear. Any person knows that it's very
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  delicate. As an aside, for whatever
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  reason, I don't know why I would lead you to have citizen for as
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  this cute way of talking. Are you going to do this?
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  Yes, I swear. I swear.
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  It's way of talking. I don't know why it became
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  slang, but it's really a slang. Wish you ever because saying I
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  swear, especially if you go all the way to say I swear to God.
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  That's. That will, he said.
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  She cares it. I was like, well, about humane,
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  it's a little bit less, but still they say that line, they
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  are bound to it. I went to the, you know, I went
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  to the store that said, you know, the price in the food, it
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  was crazy. It was $20.00 for this total
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  normal statement, right? And then she says, swear to God
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  and she doesn't realize that she just did a statement that now is
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  bound by the Sinaloa that is very serious.
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  And then she's all exaggerated, which often times they are,
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  especially when they say that kind of line.
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  They're in for it. So that should be out of our
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  lexicon entirely. The whole I swear, and
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  especially that I swear to God, should be out and.
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  Is that what happened? Is that?
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  I thought the name is meant to get rid of all commitments that
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  people make all swears that people say this is going to
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  happen and even on La La body, even on the on the on the past
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  like this key example we just mentioned as the Canada is the
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  4th and final of the but they're all meant to remove these
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  vowels. They're also meant to remove
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  bigger vowels and real ones. Now we understand it's
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  understood that these statements at the community lexicon today
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  includes are now real. They're not meant to be real.
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  That's all true. At the end of the day, the words
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  cannot eat mouth and they're binding.
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  So be careful. That's an aside, a very
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  important side. Do it to not binding but.
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  Thoughts are not binding. Commitments near mine are not
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  binding, but words are, and once your brother says it, they can't
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  really in the back. I'll tell you that he helps, but
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  it's complicated and tricky and they can make a major sense.
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  They don't go according to the words they said, so avoid making
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  such commitments, right? Yesh Aute is a nafeen Catanian,
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  but there are even small levels, not as significant as a swear
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  Chava biche naam MENA harmoni militar.
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  They may not be as severe as a real commitment, A copanine, but
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  we let me see, we are not keenly shaman man.
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  If a person who wants to be Nike as our team is, you want to be
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  Nike in every area you want to be Nike, you should avoid even
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  bumping into and hitting these areas, which means don't make a
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  commitment and disregard it. Don't say something and not
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  follow through. Umar shamrou Amara be lazar Lam
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  shivua vahen shivua. The be lazar holds.
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  If the word no, I won't do it or no, I didn't do it is really
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  some degree of a chavoie. Hey, yes, I did it.
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  Yes, I will do it. It's only a yes.
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  It's one word no or yes of going to this Rabbi are levels of the
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  swear and the ideas of team is if you say I swear such and such
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  is strengthening your work, but the binding thing is your work.
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  So if you say I did this or I will do this.
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  If you're also staying the same thing, your work.
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  So the core of both concepts I do work.
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  One is more solidified, 1 is less, but ultimately the same
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  theme and therefore they are somewhat similar in them binding
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  me to and we should avoid being stuck by these words and if we
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  said them keep her and be careful to keep me all they say
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  someone so never went back on his word.
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  Talk about people. That's a person who understood
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  the power of your word. Your commitment is binding.
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  I mean, people say my word is my thing when I do business as just
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  be. When I do business, my word is
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  golden. I don't need to.
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  Read the document anyway document.
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  I mean, that's that's happens to be not smart going forward
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  because I don't know how many people have been stuck and
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  ruined, but that's. Not how I felt I should have it.
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  Back in this when it comes to a loan specifically and it comes
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  to a partnership, comes to all these things, it's in you and I
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  everything. Sometimes we.
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  Should read documents. Everything, all loans, all
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  partnerships, all these loans are high to be done in front of
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  witnesses. Forget about that.
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  But even a partnership, everything is great.
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  Now, the reason we all do any of these things, I'll put anything
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  on paper is because we believe that everything's going to work
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  out well, which inshallah, it's sure.
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  We only think of the current feeling.
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  Normally when you're going into something, you're in a positive
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  theme. When you're going into a
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  partnership, you're imagining things going as well as
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  expected. The best option possible is
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  going to be the option. We all think about down times,
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  right? However, Tudal doesn't recommend
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  that. In fact, thinking about al
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  kituva when they get married, the couple during the most
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  beautiful day of their life, they're writing a document as to
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  what it's going to be if things don't work out.
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  That's pretty sad. The guy dies if they get the
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  worst. Don't you think you should
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  choose a different time to write this?
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  You know they have the rating of the kituva.
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  A beautiful thing goes. They're reading of the kituva.
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  The kituva is a glorious document.
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  Yes, most of it is about the husband's responsibility to his
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  wife, but it's also while they're married, which also
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  includes usability after they're married.
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  And that way the rabbis, the prenup.
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  The prenup is one of the most controversial issue and however
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  I know is the real rule out of that.
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  We do that in our community. People do, yes.
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  People have started doing it, sure.
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  Immersively. Because of the gate monsters.
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  There's a lot of conversations about this and I don't know
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  they'll do malachios. I don't want to say, but the
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  theme, the reason why people believe in it wanting is because
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  of all these issues that are going on with the young divorces
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  and understood and it's. It's a lot.
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  Of them and the reason people don't want it we can all imagine
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  why besides the question about whether it, you know, creates a
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  little bit of weakness in the original marriage because our
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  marriage has the construction of a certain way and it's you know
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  crawling into it's bumping into that and it may be an issue.
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  The reason people also don't want it, as you can imagine, if
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  a person gets married with the out, you know they have an exit
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  on law. You know they have an exit right
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  there. We all know the young couples
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  how it works out, but it doesn't work out if they have to, you
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  know, go through the struggle. Sometimes it settles.
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  So there's never settles. And if you can even get in the
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  out, it's much more risky. Again, those girls would be
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  protected without the stand to both sides.
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  But the ultimate question is the hard question, which is not for
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  now, it. Was very against that.
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  By the way, I think he was love, Shiva, man Shiva, and he said
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  those two words. No, I'm not going to do it.
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  Yes, I will do it. That's a swear.
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  I'm not about udamar love, love to Thesimi or about how old you
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  need to add that the person repeated himself.
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  Udamar hand, hand to thesimi. He interacted.
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  The person repeated himself who was on no, I'm not going to do
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  it. And on the yes, commitment that
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  I will do. But OK, so you need to repeat.
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  But over all The thing is my word is called the hen abru, the
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  hen siddik like your heen. Heen is a measurement will your
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  Hein, which is also the word hen.
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  Yes, be honest, be righteous. She had love Shell Hatsili the
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  Angel Hatsili. Your knowing your yes needs to
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  be binding to write it. You have a theme of a topic that
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  seems far off. Don't swear falsely.
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  We believe we don't swear falsely at all.
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  If I had to ask you how many times of your life and you fell
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  swear falsely, you would have had a very hard time finding
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  one. But once you look at this topic
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  or its depth and its layers of its levels, you find out.
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  Number one, I have a slang that we use today.
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  I swear. I swear makes us very often
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  swearing falsely quintess teeth and #2 all our commitments.
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  Yes, yes, I'm going to do it. No, I'm not going to do it.
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  Those are also degrees of swear and degrees of commitment.
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  And the overall theme is your word.
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  In the eyes of our shem. It's far more powerful than you
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  ever imagine. Your commitment is binding.
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  It's real. It changes your situation.
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  For example, when a person makes a commitment to Seneca, they
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  already get the zoroot. Why do they already get the
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  zoroot? They only make a commitment
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  because your word is something. When a person makes a commitment
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  to do a mitzvah, they already carry some level of the zoroot
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  of the mitzvah they're about to perform.
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  Why? Same idea.
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  Me being on the way is something.
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  We have a lot of themes in this mindset.
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  The same is true if he goes the other way.
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  Remember to do something wrong with the problem, et cetera.
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  This proves that my word is powerful.
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  That being the case, I should be very careful in everything I
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  say, especially on my commitments.
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  I have the following. May they?
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  Can we go to any person that you're committed to or whatever,
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  Can you come and say I'm sorry something happened?
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  You give me more hell short, you can't have heal up.
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  Forget about the commitment to the person.
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  Think more about commitments to Hashem or you make commitments
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  now shine what you're going to do.
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  People have this concept that they swear, keep themselves from
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  sinning as you swear, never going to go to, of course,
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  restaurant again, swear, never going to go to that type of
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  party, never going to look at that or get involved in that
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  site. Well, these are the things
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  people try to hold themselves back.
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  It's a classic thing people do and they get stuck when they
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  fall. Is it recommended to do so?
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  It is if it's going to work ahead of time that I wanted all
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  myself back for certain things and I swore and then came.
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  I thought then he might swear me and he did and it worked for me.
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  OK, but it's very delicate, very dangerous.
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  And you can imagine the per the issue is a person may every
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  commitment is made during the time that the mindset is health
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  and every challenge comes up during a time that the mindset
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  is not healthy, right. Jesus.
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  So now guys swears he's never going to yell again.
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  A cop is he's sitting with his kids, everything's going great.
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  He says why wouldn't he yell at these kids?
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  They're wonderful children. I never yell again.
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  Then comes time wants to get them into the house and not
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  going in. He wants time to I don't know
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  what it is to be by a shroud table to not coming.
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  It's like he's not CEO and this was I thought I committed, but
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  it's a different situation. So that person should be careful
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  in the good situation not to make commitments that they can't
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  really keep. If they do, they need to have to
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  now the carrier will open up just a couple of lines.
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  Devara Shakin similarly lying, not allowing your commitments,
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  rather lying in what happened. God will listen to his wordy.
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  It's an illness. Lying is an illness that's by
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  shit that has spread among the people that spreads in US.
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  Lying is nothing less than illness, all right.
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  And that means it's something that you can use to, and then it
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  becomes a habit. Yeah.
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  And that was the way of life, the certain people.
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  All right, just lie, the state of the line.
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  And it becomes literally, your word is 0.
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  Everything is saying it's glue, the sickness.
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  But on mother de goat. Mother de goat, Yes.
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  For how many levels? Some people whose livelihood is
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  lying, they just, you know, a used car selling salesman,
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  Nothing he says means anything to you really means nothing.
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  He just told me why you even waste these words.
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  I don't know. The words feel good in my ears.
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  I don't know, but he just lies to me.
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  Say go on, right? Certain people and certain
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  businesses, they just they just try to get the job.
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  Nothing less than that right Ham, I'll hang up or boy Demoli
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  bomb because I've been Gammarin who might have a boy to see how
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  I've been or the some people just create fabricate things
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  just to make this look smart, look good, look wise, rather
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  than having such a person is Toya volatile cannot stand your
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  lips and your tongues are performing Avla.
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  Avla means terrible thing. And we have one of the levels of
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  people categories of people who will not be accepted from the
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  Lamaba are the Carter Shakarine, the group of liars, but these
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  kind of liars, legit liars. I'll give you another example,
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  Right. I'll give you an example, and
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  we're closer to this. It's Caitlin.
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  I'm mine. So my Hadaman, she goes away for
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  Saturday and she went back Sunday.
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  Normally that's her system. Sunday morning she calls up.
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  They will do that. Can't come, She can't come.
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  Somebody's in the house. Someone died.
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  Their mother died. Someone's dog would.
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  I had something they killed two or three.
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  Times I I I call people all day. Long they're.
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  In the hospital this one started and they stayed there having a
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  baby, you know? Why are you killing people then?
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  They're killing you without their exotic dad.
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  Thought I was honey. I'd say I'm just saying someone
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  died. It's around May 5th though.
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  It's Mardi Gras, correct? Say sit in the mire.
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  I was sitting in the mire. OK, I got it.
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  Their mother died. It's May 5th and then the next
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  morning they wake up my wife calls like she's going to come
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  up on time and she sounds like she's ever sleep.
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  In other words, she's getting over the angle OK, and she'll be
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  in a little while. OK, and case closed and the
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  can't answer. It really was for sure.
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  No one died, no one anything, but it's typical a sketch that
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  you had to deal with. They lied for other me, right?
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  I'll walk a diamond something Diamond's lied for the me and
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  everything that comes out of the mouth means nothing.
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  It's zero. It's literally went from a dead
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  person to cinco de MiTo. That's pretty bad extent you.
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  Know when they do that? They do it all the time with.
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  It that's what it's. Not son can't take it anymore.
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  It's funny, don't show up, but you know values someone like
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  that when he sees and what does it mean to you?
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  He's nothing. They're just saying statements.
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  That'd be 0. Tell them this.
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  Tell them that the guys in the background.
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  Tell her this. He's a politician.
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  Better. Politician could show, again, if
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  you're aligned past the case, the next step, and only way you
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  can do so is using your words. You're just going to maneuver
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  your way around to end up in the next step that's lined, that's
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  using your words, end up in the right place.
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  Now it's a very difficult world. That's one layer, that's top
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  layer, but we'll see. There are multiple layers that
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  are not as severe but also broad.