Latest / GenX Adulting Podcast / Episode 28 - GenX Speaks Series: Mary's Story

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Episode 28 - GenX Speaks Series: Mary's Story · GenX Adulting Podcast

• 0:00
  (Music)Welcome to Genex adulting.
• 0:15
  And today we have Marywith us. Welcome. Thank you.
• 0:17
  We're so happy tohave you here. I'm happy to be here. Thank youfor having me. Of course. So the first questionwe always ask is what year wereyou born? 1974. So you are Genex.A proud Genex. And where were you born? Marlton,New Jersey. So you're Jersey girl. I'm a Jerseygirl. Okay. And do you have siblings? Oh yeah.Um, there's six of us. So I have five siblings.Yeah. Okay. And what orderare you six? You're the baby.Oh my gosh. So what's the range between youroldest sibling and you nine years? Wow. Okay.Yeah. So in nine years, yeah, that's that's, Ithought it was going to be more. Yeah. So in nineyears, your parents had six kids. Correct. Wow.God bless your mom. Yes. Wow.
• 1:04
  And what's the mix?Five girls and one boy. Okay.
• 1:08
  All right. Sothat's a busy household. Very busy. And the townyou're, you, did you grow up in that town? Theone you're born in? I was born in Marlton, but Igrew up in a town called Morristown. Okay. NewJersey. Uh, everybody thinks it's the one nearNew York, but it's not as M O O R S. More's town.Oh, I was. Okay. A Philly.
• 1:27
  Okay. Yeah. I wasabout to say I grew up in Sparta, which is nearthe Morris town. Yes. I think you've alwaysthought Mary grew up in that one. Morris town.No, I thought, I thought you grew up in likecentral New Jersey, but you, sounds like ifyou're down in Philly, that's a little moresouth. We call it South Jersey. Yeah. SouthJersey. So were you by the shore? Well, everybodyis kind of, it's like, we were 50 minutes to the,to the shore. Okay. Even with traffic. Yeah.Okay. All right. There's always traffic andeverything's an hour. Yeah.
• 2:02
  Yeah. That's true.So, um, is it a small town?
• 2:05
  Yeah. It's a smalltown. So you grew up in like a small town vibe.It was, yeah, I did for sure.
• 2:12
  It was like just atypical suburbia, good, really good schools.Everybody went to the public school. Yeah. Um,uh, used a little bit of farmland and a lot ofpeople, uh, worked in Philly, made some of thePhilly athletes live in Morris town because youknow, it's kind of right outside of the city.Yeah. Yeah. Very suburbia.
• 2:30
  Now was your mom homewith you guys? She was. Yeah.
• 2:32
  Okay. So that's,that's nice. So would you say you had the typicalGen X childhood of you could leave and wander andjust as long as you were home when the lightscame on or were your parents maybe a little morestrict than a lot of the other boomer or silentgeneration parents that Gen Xers had? Hmm. Ithink, well, definitely I grew up in a stricthousehold for sure. Sure.
• 2:56
  Sure. I felt like that,especially as the youngest.
• 2:58
  Um, but my parentswere definitely strict, but I do remember just,you know, being outside and really the only roleis like, don't scream bloody murder, or I thinkyou're like dying and pretty much you can just beout running around. Okay.
• 3:10
  There was no of stay onthe sidewalk by, you know, that was, yeah, I waskind of it. So you could kind of wander wherever.Kind of wander wherever pretty much. I remember,um, we all were on a swim team. We all rode ourbikes there and back and it was like, I don'tknow, five miles away across busy roads. Okay.Yeah. I hit one time. I had a broken ankle ontime. I still rode my bike.
• 3:30
  Your sister got hit.Yeah. Oh my God. Five miles.
• 3:33
  Could you imagineletting our kids know, no, no, no, no, no, no,no, no. There were no helmets. No, even inJersey, which I think is one of the states thatregulates everything at that time, there were nohelmets. No, yeah. Not that I recall foranywhere. We never wore helmets. Not until yougot like a moped because mopeds were a thingtoday. It's the surrounds the e-bikes. Yeah. Wehad mopeds as kids. You had to wear a helmet.Yeah. But not bicycles. Yeah.
• 3:58
  So you went toelementary school there. You went to, did youcall junior high or middle school? Middle school.Okay. Five through eight.
• 4:07
  Okay. All right. Youand we were junior high. Is that interesting? Andthen high school there. Yes.
• 4:12
  So were you, did youalways have a sibling in school with you? Prettymuch. I mean, my sister above me, actually Ithink she and I were the furthest as far as likethe order, she was two years ahead of me inschool, two and a half years ahead of me in age,I guess. So yeah, I only didn't have her when Igot a little older at the end the last two yearsthat I always, and actually I also went tocollege where one of my sisters went and she wentto college. We went to Loyola in Baltimore andfour of us out of the six went there. Wow. Yeah.Well, we had rules. We had rules. It had to be aCatholic college within a three hour drivingradius of horse town. So, okay. Okay. So did yougo to Catholic school? No.
• 4:59
  So I went to thepublic school. All right. But then the rule wasyou have to go to a Catholic college. Okay.Except if you're the boy, thenyou can go to NYU apparently.Interesting. Yeah, that's hilarious. And sothat's just was a double standard that wasaccepted in your house and I said something. Iwas like, wait a second.But, um, were you the only one that questionedit? I think so. I mean, everyone's just like, Oh,NYU cool. You know, and he played basketball. Itwas cool. But I'm like, that is not a Catholicuniversity. No. Did you have like seven? I'mtrying to do the math. Your family was eightpeople, right? Did you have seven parents beingthe youngest? No, I mean, it's funny. No, theydidn't. They would, they were just, they werelike, it's funny because we broke my parents downby the end, you know, I'm kind of getting older,six kids. Or they're like, well, Mary, how didyou even let me do that? Like at one point myparents just went to the store house and I waslike, by myself in the house, my sister's mindwas like blown, you know, she would go out.They'd be like, be back by 10. You know, and theyweren't even around my last two years of highschool. I think that happens.
• 6:04
  That's happenedwith our youngest. So as I know, we know whereDylan is right now. We think we know we have ageneral idea where he is.
• 6:11
  Actually, you told mewhere everybody was except for Dylan. Yeah. And Ithink you're the one that is watching him. He'sfishing, but we're not sure exactly where, butsomewhere in our town. Um, okay. So did you findthat comforting having a sibling in school withyou or was it at times annoying because youalways had someone there that kind of waswatching or that kind of kept an eye on you andyou couldn't have complete freedom, I guess, tobe you. She really didn't keep an eye on me. Likeeverybody just kind of did their own thing. Andin fact, it was good. The sister I had above mebecause she was, um, a good student, she got goodgrades. So she kind of greased the wheels for mewhen I came in, they were like, oh, pleasedidn't, you know, until, but it was good in thebeginning. Okay. Okay. So that was, that didn'tlike squash any of your freedoms or selfexpression or anything. So how would you describewhat kind of student you were? Hmm.I was not a good student.
• 7:08
  Now, what was thereason for that? Do we just, um, not challengedor do you think like you might've had, um, like,I know there's a lot of, um, Gen X women thathave, they found out they have undiagnosed ADHDor do you think you just were not interested inschool? It just wasn't a thing. I was just superbored and I just wanted to talk to my friends andbe outside and play sports and I just, it wasboring. Yeah. So not challenged is what it soundslike. They didn't grab you.
• 7:35
  I mean, I mean, Iguess it wasn't, I could have been challenged. Itwas challenging to skate by was just good enoughgrades. That was kind of my goal. Okay. So Icould have time to do the things that I wanted todo. Which sounds like sports.
• 7:48
  Yeah. So were youathletic right from the start? Yes. Yeah. Whendid you start playing sports?
• 7:55
  I joined the swimteam when I was three. Wow.
• 7:57
  Is that when youlearned how to swim? I guess I learned youngerthan that. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you had to be ableto swim like 25 meters.
• 8:05
  At three.Yeah. Wow. Was that common?I don't think so. I think it's because just, Ihad my five siblings all swimming and I would goto every practice and then, you know, when it wastime to learn, they're like, all right, throw herin. And I was watching so much and I was alwaystall and strong for my age.
• 8:24
  Growing up, um, I wasa big guy and I just took to it. So everyone, youwere a swimming family. Yeah.
• 8:32
  That was, thatmakes sense. Yeah. You're the youngest one. Youspent a lot of time at the pool then on weekends.Yes. Yes. Was the meats and all that. Yeah. Wasthat your main sport? It was my main sport. Yeah.And like the summer we all just, you would go tosome practice at the pool seven to nine, and thenyou'd just stay there. You'd have lunch. The poolwasn't even open, I think until like 12, butnobody cared. You just pack your food, you stay,and then you leave at like six, seven and eight.And that was your life. That was my life. And soyou did that from three through elementaryschool, through middle school.
• 9:02
  Yep. And this wasfor the town or the town had a, it was a littleprivate club in the town and it wasn't like afancy country club or anything.
• 9:11
  It was just twopools, diving board, a slide, a baby pool, and aswim team. And was that your main social world?It was. Yeah. Okay. And did those friends also goto school with you? Okay. So that's nice. Yeah.It was fun. Yeah. And then high school, what'sthe same? You swim? I swam in high school and Istill went to the club and Iwas a lifeguard at that point.Cool. Yeah. So that's a cool job. Yeah. Yeah. Andthe summer, that was yourjob. Right. That's awesome.So did you end up swimming in college? I did. Didyou know you always wanted to do that? Swimmingcollege? No. In fact, I wanted to play soccer incollege. Um, I loved playing soccer, but I hurtmy knee. I guess my junior year in high schooland that really, um, took me back. I, so I, uh, Iactually, I can't remember if I, I, I don't thinkI tried out. I think the last minute actuallyasked my coach for a recommendation.
• 10:12
  I'm like,will you write me a recommendation?
• 10:14
  I want to tryout for the soccer team at Loyola. And he, he waslike, Oh Mary, you're not the player you used tobe, you know? And I was really like, Oh, okay.Thanks for the support there.
• 10:25
  Like, it's notlike, I don't know. I just feel like I was ahorrible move. It's a way to write thatrecommendation, right? She has, she's an athlete,high potential, but she hurt her knee. She'sworth giving a shot. Yeah.
• 10:38
  Yeah. That's theletter. And June and junior year, that's apivotal year when a lot of people are figuringout where they want toplay, especially as an athlete.And had you been playing soccer in tandem withswimming? Yeah. It's a soccer in the fall. Anddid you do like travel soccer too? Or was itmainly? I did travel soccer when I was young.Actually just reminded me of that. Yeah. So youreally enjoyed soccer. I loved it, but I lovedthat. I love soccer and swimming the best. Iplayed a bunch of sports, but those are myfavorite. Yeah. I can't believe that he said thatto you. Yeah. And it was a bummer, but it wasokay because it's not like they were even doingscholarships. It's not like his name is in theline for some, you know, oh, there's a couple ofscholarships on one heart.
• 11:17
  Like it was just kindof crappy. Yeah. Um, I guess he wasn't wrong. Youknow, I knew he wasn't wrong.
• 11:23
  So anyway, I just,I didn't even, in the end, I didn't end up tryingout and I ended up swimming, which I loved and Iknow I would love it. It was great. So was heyour soccer coach? He was.
• 11:31
  And was he always likethat coaching you, like where he would, you wouldget those types of messages or he'd be just, No,I did everything. He'd like, you know, he, I wasthe captain. I did all the direct kicks,everything, everything that I'm like, and I havethis recommendation and it was like, what ashock. What a, what a shock.
• 11:50
  That is just crazy.What did you do to your knee? I tore him.Apparently they said I tore a muscle in my kneeand I ended up having like a full butt, a fullleg cast. And you know, and that came off my legwas as big as my arm. And I just, it took a whileto build back muscle. And, but you know, I wasn'tlike, I didn't, I don't know.
• 12:08
  I think I went tothe Y. I was like trying to do my exercises andit just, it just didn't pan out, which was fine.But to, to even have that opportunity to swim incollege, that was amazing.
• 12:19
  So you, you were verynatural, talented athlete to be able to have the,cause you probably could have tried out for thesoccer team and possibly made it. To try it out.But then to have a backup option to play, to swimin college, you know, that's great. So what wouldyou, would you say back then youth sports aredifferent than they are now?That's pretty funny. I, I, you know what, I don'tknow because I coached my, my dad used to coachus a lot and I was dragged to all of my siblings,various sports. And you know, it's, people don'treally change. There's always going to be thosecrazy parents, you know, that think their kidsthe best or that like go ballistic on anothereight year old who, you know, whatever foundtheir kid and they don't think like parents,people go crazy. So I feel like I saw that then.And as a coach now, I kind of, well, when Icoached my daughter, like, I don't know, sixyears ago, I thought, oh, this would be nice.It'd be fun. And yeah, no, I had a mom like gocrazy on me. And what, what was she going crazyabout? We had made it to like the semi finals orsomething in basketball. And I guess I don't knowif her kid was on the bench or she didn't like, Idon't even know. All I know is she, she got up,she crossed the gym and she like to be on my sideand she stood, she stood like super close and shejust started screaming at me. And I was like,this lady is going crazy. Oh my gosh. No, I'm, Imean, eight year olds, eight year olds. Yeah.Yeah. I mean, that's been our experience is thatthere's some, but it's interesting that havingyour dad coach so much, you probably were exposedto a lot of that. So for you to say that wasgoing on back then. See, when my dad was, youknow, he was very even keel and it was like,everybody played. If, if you ran the laps, if youdidn't run the laps and you don't play, like itwas very like, you know, it's fair. Yes. Yeah.And, uh, but there were always parents thatwould, you know, be crazy.
• 14:23
  I remember. Yeah. Imean, just the parents of other kids being crazy.So would you say as far as if somebody's going toplay a sport in college, do they need to bepassionate about that sport?
• 14:37
  Is what kind ofcommitment do you have to make when you're incollege playing a sport?Well, yeah, you definitely have to, you have tolike what you do. You have to like it. So I lovedit. And I, and I loved the social aspect of ittoo. You know, it was more than just time timesand winning and records or whatever, whatever thegoals were in the pool. It was also part of ateam and swimming is pretty cool sport becauseit's, um, it's men and women mixed, you know,when you're practicing and, and it's a big teamfor that reason. So, um, to answer your question,I think that if you're going to do somethingwell, you've got to have some passion for it. Yougot to enjoy it. But with sports, at least forme, I was also super focused on just having fun.I always had fun. There was never a time when I'mlike, Oh, I don't want to swim. I'm so burnedout. Okay. I doubt that's not really mypersonality. Yeah. So, but you need to enjoy it.The sport. Let's put it this way. Okay. If Ienjoyed it less, I probably would have been abetter swimmer if I enjoyed the social aspectless and I enjoy, you know, I would have been abetter swimmer than I was.
• 15:41
  Um, but that's justnot my personality. I, I, I was having fun too.We, it was most of your social world, theswimmers, the swimming world at college.And that typically happens when you play a sportin college, right? Does most of your social worldbecome the people that are also on that, thoseteams? I think so. Cause you're with them so muchand you'd have pre-season and then you haveseason and then there, and then the season is solong and then you have championships.
• 16:08
  It goes onand on. Is it year round pretty much the wholetime you're there? I mean, I think ourchampionships were like in March, early March,end of February, but we started even beforeschool started in August.
• 16:19
  Okay. Yeah. Yeah.That's the whole time. And would you have amorning practices like before classes? Yeah.Morning and afternoon. So two days, two days.Sometimes it was optional.
• 16:29
  Okay.So yeah, that's a huge commitment.Is optional truly optional?
• 16:34
  Yeah. I was justlaughing. I was like, I shouldhave done two days more.
• 16:38
  I didn't.And then also there was what we call on swimmingdry land where you go and you're lifting weightsand you're doing, and that was kind of like, thatalso would have immensely helped my swimming, butwho wants to do that? Yeah.
• 16:52
  But I mean, the factthat you were still able to make the team be onthe team and without the a hundred percent or120% effort, that's impressive.
• 16:59
  That means youwere very, more about the team. I don't know. Ithink there's probably, I think you were probablya natural athlete. You had to have been to beable to even maintain without doing everything. Imean, that's pretty impressive.
• 17:12
  Did you swim allfour years? Yeah. That's impressive too. Cause alot of people like get burned out and we'll stop.Oh, see, I didn't get burned out cause I always,I didn't, maybe I would have gotten burned out ifI did the two days, I did every dry land and itwould have been a lot, but I was able to findthat balance. That's awesome.
• 17:30
  Yeah. Now did allyour siblings do sports in college?Yeah, actually. No, my oldest sister didn't, sheswam on her own. Like she did. It didn't do theteam. My brother played basketball.My other two sisters then went to lay a little onthe swim team. And then my sister who went to St.Joe's, uh, St. Joseph university, she ended updoing crew. Okay. Wow. Wow.
• 17:52
  So was your, wereyour parents collegiate athletes?
• 17:57
  Um, my dad wasan excellent athlete, but he, um, he went tocollege later after like he basically met my, waswith my mom. And my mom was like, um, if you wantto marry me, you need to get your collegeeducation. And he was like, Oh, all right, let medo that. What did they mean?
• 18:17
  They went to highschool together and they actually ended up goingon a blind date with other people. Okay. And thenthey went apart. My mom went to college backthen. I think, I don't think a lot of women weregoing to college. Um, and my dad didn't have alot of money, didn't know what to do. So he wentto the army. Wow. Yeah. And then when he cameback from the army four years later, I guess mymom had graduated college and he came back fromthe army. Um, they were at the same wedding andthat's where they really met.
• 18:44
  Did in the sametown where you were born?
• 18:47
  No, they, they werefrom North Jersey. So my dad grew up in Wippanyand my mom was in Providence.
• 18:52
  Okay. Okay. Allright. Wippany's legit like seven miles fromSparta. Okay. Yeah. From where we lived. Yeah.Yeah. So did he, um, whatyears was he in the army?If you had to guess.I don't know. He was born in 37.So what's 57, you know, so probably 55 aroundthat time. Were there, was there anything? No, itsounds like Keith probably was my dad's age ishand he got to miss all the world war one and two,obviously. Yeah. And then too young or, uh, theKorean war was it was, it would have been likeKorean war or Vietnam, but it sounds like hemissed both. Wow. That's wonderful.
• 19:36
  I mean, yeah.So then he came back. Met my mom at a wedding andthen that was that. And then she said, if youwant to get married, you need a college degree.You need a college degree.
• 19:46
  And so then he didthat. He did that. So she was working as ateacher and he went to college, but he had playedbaseball in the army and that was his main sport,I guess, as baseball. And how impressive thatyour mom went to college, because like you saidat that time, that was not a thing. I mean, womendid, but it wasn't the norm.So do you know what she went to school for? Yeah,she was, she, uh, home economics.
• 20:07
  Okay. Yeah.Yeah. I don't even think they have that anymore.Was it four years? It was.
• 20:15
  She went to St.Elizabeth's college. Okay.
• 20:18
  College of St.Elizabeth's. College of St.
• 20:20
  Thank you. Right.Yeah. So four years for sure.
• 20:22
  And then she workeduntil she, they started the family, their family.Yeah, exactly. So where'd the swimming come from?I don't know. My mom was probably like, what am Igoing to do with these kids?
• 20:33
  That's a great wayto burn energy. Right. Yeah.
• 20:37
  I'm going to putthem in a pool. I think so.
• 20:39
  I think so. Thatmakes sense though. Yeah.
• 20:41
  Yeah. And then shecould just have everybody together. Yeah. You'restill on the pool. Yeah. I just think it's soimpressive though, that most of your familyplayed sports in college, that's, I think that'sunusual to have that manysiblings place sports in college.I guess. I don't know. I think it is. Right. Thatthe statistically. I know another family that hadall their kids play. They were all tall and one,and one actually made it to the professional NBA.Yeah. So it's, it's rare though. It's very rare.Yeah. So, I mean, your parent, your parentssomewhere in there, the DNA, there's some goodathletic genes in there. They were both prettyathletic, even though my mom didn't really dosports. Well, she did synchronize swimming nowthat I think about it. Okay.
• 21:23
  Yeah. There you go.Yeah. So she had, she was familiar with that andhad all these kids andshe's like, I know something.Let's do this. Yeah. Okay.
• 21:33
  So what did you go toschool for at Loyola? Oh, I majored in Englishand I did a minor in secondary education and thatminor in secondary education was not for a lot ofeducation. It was because everyone in my family,all of my siblings got their masters or beyondand after college, and I would watch them allcome back to the house. And my parents paid forcollege and we had to pay for grad school. And soeverybody came home, lived at home, had no money,you know, were students.And I was just like, I don't want to do that. Ido not want to come back after college. Yeah. Sowhat job can I do where I don't need a, um, amaster's or a whatever. And I thought, oh, okay.I could teach. And that's what I did. So you sawall your siblings come back and live back at homewhile they're getting their masters and youdecided, okay, that's not for me. Were you alwayskind of taking your own path?I mean, in some ways I think so. Um, but I thinkpart of that is being the youngest of six, likesaw so many paths already taken. So it wasn'tsuch this brave new world to me. I'm like, okay,if you do that, that's what happens next. If shedoes that, then that's, I saw her deal with that,you know, you know? So I feel like I hadexperienced through my siblings. Yeah. Yeah,absolutely. So what did you do when yougraduated? Oh, so I got a teaching job. I movedto Maryland. I got an apartment.
• 23:07
  I got a NissanSentra and I had my first job. Why did you moveto Maryland? That's where I got a job. Okay. InNew Jersey, you have to apply like school byschool, district by district.
• 23:17
  In Maryland, yousend one application out to the county and itcovers every school in the county. Okay. So itwas just much easier to apply to schools inMaryland. Absolutely. So you were a high schoolEnglish teacher. It was. Whatgrade? 9th and 11th.
• 23:32
  How'd that go?It was, you know, it was, I liked it. I did likeit a lot. I could, I, I love the kids I did. Ilove the teaching moments that I did love, butit's a lot of testing and it was tough because itwas a kind of a tough school and a lot of it, Ithink based the statistic was 25% went to fouryear college, 25% went to like a two year and 50%went into the workforce. What town were you in?It was in Edgewood, Edgewood, Maryland. I'm notfamiliar with it. No, it's in Baltimore County.Okay. Um, nice kids, nice people. Super nice. Ireally enjoyed it a lot. Um, was it blue collarwith that type of, uh, college distribution?Yeah. Yeah. So how long did you do that? Twoyears. Two years and talk about burnout. I didget burned out with English and I was kind ofanal about it because I would like have themwrite and write and you know, every comma andperiod and misspelled this, I, I, I am theEnglish teacher. Like you can't let that stuffgo. So, but I'm up till two, three in themorning, grading papers and reading journals anddoing these things. And then, and then, you know,you go to open up your drawer for lesson plans.It's empty because you're not, you're juststarting off and then you got to create thelesson plans and read the books you haven't readin however many years. It's a lot of work being ateacher. I give teachers so much credit. It is avery difficult job. Yeah.
• 24:56
  Um, because you'regiving of yourself so much. And thenI always imagine then the teachers that havechildren at home. So you've given of yourself allday teaching to other people's children and notjust teaching academically, but there's might bepersonal things going on that they need your helpwith or just that emotional support. And then yougo home and your children need all that and yourspouse, if you're married and, and then yousomehow maybe try to find some time for yourselfor some self care, maybe I can only imagine theburnout, you know, if you really think about it,if you're trying to raise a family and all thatas a teacher. So, so two years and you were like,two years, I lost it. Two years. And I can't dothis anymore. So then what did you, did you getstart getting a backup job before you left? Orwhat did you do? Oh, I was like, Oh man, I'vealways wanted to be an actress.
• 25:51
  That's, I alwaysalways wanted to be in theater and, but I neverdid. Cause I was, I was in sports and I've, Ithink New York city is really cool. I'd love tolive in New York city. So I quit my job and I,that's what I did. I think I went on Craigslist.I found a friend of mine helped me find a, Wait,was Craigslist around then?
• 26:10
  Had to have been,cause I remember a friend of mine found thisapartment for me, a four floor walk up. And Ididn't even know whatthat meant. I'm like, great.Keep in mind, she's a couple of years, threeyears younger than us. Yeah.
• 26:22
  So maybe Craigslisthas been around forever.
• 26:24
  Has it really guys,wait, had you, cause I know Brian growing up inJersey, he would sneak into the city and so hewas familiar with the city.
• 26:34
  Did you also go inthe city? Our city to sneak into was Philly. Soyou weren't familiar with New York? Only fromgoing up to watch my brother's basketball games.Okay. Yeah. So this really was going toexperience living in the city unknown. Would you,is that a thing to do? Sneak in the affiliate andgo, where do you go? Like down by temple and St.Joe's. South street. Okay.
• 26:56
  Did you do that?Mm-hmm. A little, not a ton, but a little. Didyou buy fireworks like Brian did? No.I do have to ask, did your, being the youngest,did your older siblings buy you booze or otherthings when you were growing up at all? Orbecause you were all athletic?
• 27:13
  You know, wereally were like very PG family. Like, no, itwasn't boozing or, you know, a couple littlesneak out things like that, but it wasn't, and itwas nothing like that. Like I hear my otherfriends talk about their high school times. Like,Oh, you know, and I was thinking I didn't dothat. So in high school, you weren't, you weren'tpartying. No, you weren't like a Gen Xter thatwas like drunk in a field somewhere in yourparents that you're spending the night. Never. Soshe had the parents that kept an eye. Yeah. Yeah.Yeah. I tricked you. You know, which is, youknow, there are Gen Xers who had that upbringing.You know, there's just so many of us. I justdon't know any of them. Now we've met one. Thathad my upbringing. Yeah.
• 27:53
  Yeah. Because so manyparents, whether it was, I don't, just theattitude of, I don't know, the boomer attitude,the, the silent gen attitude, or there were a lotof divorce was happening then. So you had a lotof women going into the workforce, single moms.Um, and so there wasn't a lot of supervision. Mymom was just like, she was on it. She's like, no,you can't go. She's how we are. That's how sheis. Yeah. Yeah. Go. Yeah.
• 28:18
  Yeah. Yeah. Or ifsomething was going on, I'm picking you up atnine 30. Yeah. Nine 30. Yeah.
• 28:22
  Yeah. And that'show it was. Yeah. That was so, okay. So you, yougot this apartment and you go in without a job.Mm hmm. The city. Yeah. I didn't have a job.Right. What are you like 20?
• 28:38
  I was thinking that22, 24. I taught for two years. So yeah, I waslike 20. No, I was like 22, 23. Mm hmm. Wow. I'mkind of young for my, like I'm a Septemberbirthday. So yeah, I think I was like 22, 23.And, um, I had a family member, like an, or unclethat would, we're not related, but we call theman uncle. Um, who had a daughter who was aneditor, I think for a Spanish version of peoplemagazine, I don't know. And she knew someone inthe city who was a fashion stylist and thisperson who knew her name was Holly, she needed anassistant. Okay. I was like, great, I'll do it.Yeah. And so that was really my first job as anassistant fashion stylist.
• 29:26
  Um, to Holly. And soyou took that job and then did youcontinue to try to pursue acting?Um, not at that time. Like I was so new and Ijust had to get like to figure out where I wasand like how much stuff cost.
• 29:43
  And which I'm sureeven back then the city was expensive. Was itever not expensive? No, it's always been alwaysinsanely expensive. Yeah. Was it a nine to fivejob or if you were an assistant, was it 24 seven?It's like you, you work and get paid or you'rebroke. So it's like when she's calling me, okay,we have a five day shoot here. You know, and Iwould just get a daily wage and then that wouldbe that. And then I just pray that she'd call mewithin the next week or two for another gig. Sowhat would you do like with that job as a fashionstylist? It was my job. Yeah.
• 30:14
  What was your job?My job was to iron the clothes, steam theclothes, which by the way, I'm horrible at thatstuff, but that's what I did.
• 30:21
  She showed me how Igot the steam or I steam the clothes, dress themodels. Okay. Um, at one point it was my job.Like after like a year or two, it was my job toactually book the models, which is funny becauseI remember one time I was on a, um, a photoshoot, you know, I'd ordered lunch, I just, I waslike the gopher and, um, I ordered lunch and wewere on a location somewhere and one of themodels was like in the woods having a cigaretteand I didn't get his lunch order and I goteverybody's lunch order. And I, you know, there'sno delivery then, you know, you're going to doall this stuff and get it yourself and whatever.And I came back and I'm handing everybody. Theirmeals and I, and I'm like, Oh my God, I'm sosorry. I forgot. I didn't see you. You must havebeen out having a cigarette.You can have my lunch.
• 31:06
  He's like, okay.I was like, Oh, and he was such a jerk about it.And, um, like here he is making like $3,000 aday, you know, whatever. It's fine. He's right. Ididn't order his lunch, but he's such anon-gentleman about it. But like, lo and behold,um, a couple of months later, it was my job tohire the models and I'm going through theheadshots. And I'm like, Nope, Nope. To that one.Isn't that funny? You said the moral of thestory. You always got to be good to the littlepeople. Yes. It's so, so true because what comesaround goes around, what comes around goesaround. So true. So were these models for thatmagazine? It was just, uh, that was a cat. We dida lot of catalog stuff. Oh, yeah. So, so you werejust kind of doing everything and just runningaround ordering food, ironing clothes, like, andthen hiring models. Yeah. So hiring, how do youknow who's a good model and who isn't? Like, howdo you hire a model? She knew he was an asshole.Well, she knew he was an asshole, but like, ifthey gave you a sec, how do you judge that? Uh,well, you have to just like mix it up. Likeyou're not going to get everybody with brown hairor everybody who's blind, you know, you gotta dodifferent ethnicities, different coloring, some,you know, it's just something that looksinteresting together that fits the vibe. And thenof course, some specific things you need someonewho, if you know, if you're going to, someone'sgot to write a moped or something, you know,you're going to have certain skillsets orwhatever. So, okay. Was that fun? Did you enjoythat? Super fun. I actually liked that a lot.Were you making more money?
• 32:33
  Like, was that apromotion? It was just more hours to work. So itwas just more money. Um, then how long did you dothat? I did that for about two years. And thensomething happened with the economy and, um,people were not hiring Holly as much because theydidn't want to pay her rate.
• 32:50
  And so they hired meat a little bit more than I was making as herassistant, but not as much as she was making.And that was a little weird night. Like askedher, like, are you okay with this? You know, theyhopped over to get to you.
• 33:04
  Yeah. Yeah. And, um, Iasked her, I mean, I remember, I was talkingabout this stuff now. I'm remembering, you know,some things that went down, but yeah. Um, was shemad? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I was mad too, because Iasked her if it was okay. And then she was like,yeah, it's totally fine. And so I did it. Andthen she was like, well, I'm never hiring youagain. And I'm like, butwait a second. I asked you.I asked you. And so anyway, and then, um, so thenI started not, I started being the stylist andthat was fun, but it wasn't really what I wantedto do. So, and I think at that point, that's whenI started probably taking acting lessons andcourses. And then I walked like a couple blocksfrom my apartment to try to figure out where Icould get some money. And of course, waitingtables and bartending and stuff like that. Sokind of transitioned out of the stylist and into.It's kind of a New York lifestyle, right? Youjust hustle. Yeah, that's what you do. You justhustle. You hustle to pay the rent. That's whatyou do. Yeah. So you were, you were stylists andthen you were going out on additions?Um, not at that point. Cause I didn't have anagent. I was just, um, making, you know, cash,working as a bartender, um, waitress and takingthese classes. And then, and then I guess I didget an agent. I was actually, I don't know. Idon't even remember how I think you just sendyour headshots out at that point. And then peopleeither accept, say I'll be your agent or. Yeah.Or not. Or they don't hear from them or they'relike, okay, come in. We want to meet you. Andthen they'll say, okay. And then you had, yousaid you had taken acting classes.How are those? Really fun.
• 34:43
  Those are fun. Um, areyou still friends with anyone that you met inthose classes? No, I haven't.
• 34:49
  Did you actuallylearn things? Yeah. I learned a lot cause Ididn't know anything. Okay.
• 34:56
  Cause I've never evendone theater or nothing. And they're like, thisis the fourth wall. You know what I mean? I waslike, okay. Like I didn't know anything. And howdo you feel you did acting?Um, I don't know. I think I was okay. Um, I don'tthink I was like great. It was just, it was justfun. It was just something I wanted to try. Itwas just fun. Actually I did get an audition forlike my dream job, dream job.
• 35:21
  Did you ever watch,um, soap operas? Yeah. Okay.
• 35:26
  So did you Briansoap operas? Oh yeah. I'm JenHex, latch key, whatever.
• 35:32
  Yeah.Parents watch one guiding light. Oh yeah. Okay.So that was the one I was obsessed with. Mysister was my mom and I like obsessed and I don'tknow how somehow I got an addition for that show.Wow. Yeah. And so I was, I was so beyond excitedand I went to the audition and I sat and I satand I sat and I sat in like three hours later,this, this lady at the desk comes back and she'slike, Oh, you're still here.
• 35:59
  She's like, wait,who are you here to see? And I, I told her, and,and anyway, there was a mix up with the schedule.And so, and I was there for three. I imaginelike, you know, by then, I was so nervous. So didthey not have you on their schedule? No. Soanother lesson learned here.
• 36:15
  So they, they, thewoman who was, I was supposed to have theaddition with came out, was like, I'm reallysorry. And, um, there was like,you know, mix up in the schedule.Can you come back? Do you want to come back?She's like, you can do it now. You can come back.And I was like, I want to do it now. I want to doit now. Which I should have said, I'll come back.I should have said that because I was alreadylike spent with like energy and nerves and mymascara is probably halfway down my face by then.And my hair was flat and I was just tired. And,you know, but I was just, you were drained. Yeah,I was trained. And, um, but I, I just wanted itso badly. I was like, no, no, I'm going to do it.And I remember she kept asking me, like I did thescene and then she said, okay, now can you do itlike this? And I'm like, uh-huh.
• 36:57
  And I, and I sawmyself doing it the exact same way, like againand again. And she's like, okay, can you give mea little more of this? Do it like, and I didn't,I just didn't. Probably because you didn't haveit in you anymore. You were depleted. I wasdepleted. And I just was so focused on getting itdone, I guess. And then I didn't get the job.But, um, When you're doing that, are you readingwith just one person or is there like aparticular, it was just she and I. So how many ofthose types of auditions did you go out on? Notmany, not many at all. That was like, that wouldhave been a big one break.
• 37:31
  And again, I don'teven know how I got that one.
• 37:34
  I mean, you know,you're, you're mailing stuff out to networks andthis and that. I don't know how I got that, but,um, I blew it. It wasn't meant to be. And, uh,and your wait, just seeing and bartending at thesame time. At any particular restaurant that'sstill there or just random.
• 37:49
  No, if it's stillthere. Do you remember whereyou were living at the time?Yeah. So my first apartment was at four floorwalk up, um, on 89th and Ithink it was on second or third.That was horrific. And then, um, it was like arailroad apartment, a long skinny apartment. It'sa nice area. I was in the middle and like in bedand then, um, was your apartment the size of likesmaller than this room or the size of this room?The apartment itself might've been bigger thanthis room, but my spot was like, you know,probably where Brian and I to the wall. So small.Yeah. Were you living with other people? Yeah.Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it wasn't just my spot. No, youalmost have to. Yeah. How many people were youliving with? Just one girl.
• 38:35
  And she needed aroommate. And then I always lived on the UpperEast Side. And then by the end, um, when Iactually had jobs and was doing well before Imoved to Florida, I was on a 87th in Lexington.That's cool. Yeah. So you're waitressing, you'rebartending, you're hoping for auditions. Yeah.And how long did you do that?
• 38:57
  Oh God, I don'tknow. Probably another two years. And then I waslike, all right, I'm tired of this hustle. Imean, I'd like a paycheck.
• 39:03
  I'd like a little bitof security. And, um, that's when I started, uh,becoming a assistant salesperson in the garmentdistrict, which actually happened through one ofmy jobs that I got, um, working for a bongojeans. So that, wait, so go back. What the bongojeans, what's that? So the bongo jeans. Um, so Igot sent on a ghost and they needed a showroommodel, just someone to wear the jeans whilethey're selling the, selling the jeans to theirbuyers that come in. So I did that. And, um, itwas great, great, great job because I was inlike, if like, say you gave a presentation, Iwould be modeling for you and then Brian gave aride, so I'd hear how you presented, how hepresented, like all of the salespeople to thepresident. I got to hear everybody'spresentations and I learned a lot about thejeans, the product, how to sell presentations,the whole thing. And so after doing that forprobably another two years, I asked for, Hey, canI work here, you know, I'd be an assistant. Sothe bongo jeans modeling gig was a two year jobthat you, or was that just like one of the gigsyou would go out on? Just one of the gigs, but itwas my most regular. Yeah.
• 40:17
  It was like everymonth I was there. So you would be live wearingthe jeans where they could see you in the jeans.Oh, that's cool. So as they're doing a salespresentation, you're standing there. Yeah. Sothey'd have like a whole rack of the line andthey'd be like, and the buyer would say, I don'tknow about those. Oh, Mary, throw them on. I'mlike, okay, here's what they're looking at. Youknow, wow. Stuff on looks a lot different thanjust hanging. Yeah. That was fun. And I met oneof my best friends at that job who I'm stillbest. Okay. That's cool. So that, okay, reallyquick. So the buyers are maybe from like Macy'sor Nordstrom where. That's exactly where they'refrom. Okay. Okay. Cool. All over the nation. Ididn't know they did that where they'd havemodels right there. It's New York fashiondistrict. I guess that makes sense. That's cool.So in addition to going out on auditions foracting, you were also getting modeling. Yeah, Idid end up getting some of those, which I wasn't,you know, I, I wasn't thinking I was going to dothat, but then the Bongo thing became veryconsistent. And then I gave up on the actingthing. It was just too much where I was probablyspending more money on taxis and subways than Iwas like on anything. Yeah.
• 41:21
  I just stopped doingthat. And, um, and that's when I wanted, yeah, tobecome. All right. Were there, are there anyinteresting stories from your modeling days?Besides the Bongo, that's interesting, but itdidn't anything else happen.Cause modeling in New York, I can only imaginethat's quite an adventure.
• 41:37
  Yeah. It wasn'tadventure. It was an adventure.
• 41:39
  I, yeah, it was alot of, a lot of, um, I did a lot of randomstuff. Like I did like wedding for some reason. Ibooked a lot of wedding showroom things. Okay.Um, that was fun. And, um, I did like, just, Iactually was in swimming magazine or swimmermagazine, something I did some swimming thingsand some fitness things and other magazines. Andwere you in any, like, um, like Cosmo or any ofthose magazines? Cosmo was one of the first jobsI booked. And that was just a big one. It was abig one. It was, um, it was a, um, I got calledto go and I almost didn't go. I was like, I amnot going to an addition for Cosmopolitanmagazine. Like I'm not doing this. I'm, you know,why, why did you hesitate?
• 42:28
  Because like Cosmo,these are models. Like they're five, 10, they'rebeautiful. Like this is, this is what they'redoing with their lives, you know? And I'm justtaking some acting classes and throwing on jeans.I'm like, I'm not going to Cosmopolitan. This isnuts. You had like imposter syndrome a littlebit. Totally, totally. I was like, what am Idoing? I don't have a book.
• 42:51
  You have to have thisbook with all these tear sheets and all thesethings that you've done.
• 42:55
  Like, I haven't doneanything. So I went there and, um, in the CondeNast building up on whatever floor. And, um, Iwas like, I think I showed a headshot that I had.I didn't even have any modeling pictures, youknow, cause the bongo thing was live. And anyway,they're like, okay, yeah, go into this room. Andwe just want you to show this to women. Like, wejust want you to try on this outfit. I'm like,oh, okay. That's fine. Teeny, tiny outfit, like alittle teeny, lacy boy short and a little cropthing. And I was now even more horrified andembarrassed. And I just, there's no way I'mputting this on. Like, is it like lingeriealmost? Pretty much. I mean, it was, yeah, it wascute. It was tasteful, but yeah, it was veryskimpy, like kind of fluorescent lights. It's twopeople. I don't even know.
• 43:39
  Yeah. And you never,um, modeled something like that before. No, no.This wasn't, thank God they weren't takingpictures. This was just, they just wanted to seewhat I looked like. Yeah. And I remember being inthe bathroom like, how do I get out of this? Howdo I, I tell them I puked.
• 43:54
  Like, I, how do I getout of this? I can't walk out there. I'm not,not. And I was probably in there for like 10minutes. Like, wow, you're taking a long time to,there wasn't that much to that outfit.Totally, totally. And then, um, I finally waslike, oh my God, I just walked out, like probablywith the worst, like just head down, like, okay,here. I was like, okay. They're like, okay. I'mlike, okay. And then they said, well, can youjust turn around? Can you just do a 360? And thenI was like, this is, could this get any worse?Like, what's you seriously?
• 44:23
  So I stand, I do the360. Then I'm like, good, we're good. We're okay.Great. I ran back to the bathroom, got dressed.I'm out. And back then, I think I had a beeper ora blackberry. I don't know what I had, but by thetime I was just a couple blocks, my agent calledme and was like, oh, Mary, you booked the job forCosmo. Wow. I was like, what?
• 44:40
  That's cool. That'scool. Yeah. And, and, um, that was cool, but Iwas, I was the one and only time, but the moralof that story that I told that story to mydaughter before is like, don't tell yourself, no,even if just let someone else tell you, no, if Ididn't, if you don't get it, you don't get it.You know, there's a lot of things you're notgoing to get, but you can take that into almostany aspect of life. Anything that is huge. Don'ttell, don't tell yourself, no, let someone elsetell you, no, that's just, just go, just do it.Just do it. Cause you just don't know. No. Yeah.Has that, has that stuck with you? Totally.Totally, totally. Totally.
• 45:18
  Enough to tell yourdaughter. Uh-huh. Yeah.
• 45:19
  Enough to tell her.That's a, that's a great lesson. Cause that is agreat lesson that any age can adapt to or adoptin their life. I mean, that's just any situation.Like don't tell yourself, no, just, just go forit. Yeah. Worst case scenario, it's, it is a no.And then you learn like, okay, I can do somethingdifferent or this isn't for me or whatever. Yeah.I, that's a huge lesson for me. So how long did,so you said about two years you did the modeling,the acting. I feel like everything's been on kindof a two year rotation. I don't know. Like testit out for two years. You're like, okay, I didthat. Seems like it. And then you, and then yougot the job as the sales.
• 45:55
  Yeah. So then I was anassistant salesperson and then that grew into anactual salesperson. I was probably there foranother two years and then that grow. And then Iended up to be an actual sales executive there,which I loved. Wow. Love, love, loved. So you'vebeen in the city at this point, what eight years,would you say since you got there, so good. Yeah.Right about then. So most of your twenties, allyour twenties pretty much.
• 46:19
  Um, and what was the,what years was that in the city? What'd you say?That was almost the golden era. That's like thenineties. Giuliani was probably married. That'swhat I was taking. Nathan was safe back then. Itwas fine. It was beautiful.
• 46:34
  It was clean. I usedto take Nathan and Kyanne like just them. And Iwould have this parking garage that only charged$11 all day. And then we would cab it everywhere.And I would, that's when Toys R Us was in TimesSquare. Like there were Mars 21 12 thatrestaurant where it's like, you were living adifferent life than me. So there's no reason foryou to go to Mars 21 12, but it was like this,uh, the restaurant was like Marsand there were aliens and stuff.Yeah. Yeah. So it was like, I could take youngchildren and feel so safe.
• 47:02
  It was a, you werethere in one of the best times of the city. ThatI can think of. Yeah. Were you there for a nine11? Yeah, I was there.
• 47:11
  Were you?So, um, can you share your nine 11 story the daythat that happened? I was at Bongo and that wasin the garment district. So their place was on40th. I think it's between six and Broadway orsix and seven. I can't remember.
• 47:28
  So 40th. And,uh, I just, we had the TVs on. It was between,um, between clients, between buyers coming.And that was it. We were just like, oh my God.Someone, you know, just blew a plane into thetowers. It was crazy. I almost looked like, whatis the fake? And then you see, you started seeingsmoke and smelling and everything, but I was farenough from it that. Youcould smell the smoke though.After a while, I don't remember how long and Ithink I had to walk home. So I was living on theupper East side and you know, nothing wasrunning. No, subways, no buses, nothing. So youhad to walk and, uh, yeah, it was stunk. What wasthe, um, when you were out on the sidewalkwalking, was everyone just kind of in shock?Yeah. That's a good way to put it. No one'sreally talking to each other.
• 48:17
  It was kind ofeerie and, um, scary and panicky, but like a calmpanic, kind of everyone was just kind of like,nobody really knew what to do. I feel like, youknow, or how to get to where they needed to go.Yeah. And was the city pretty quiet for, wasreally quiet. I think that's why it was for a fewweeks. Would you say after that happened? Yeah.So, um, he actually went in what few days afterto help two days later to help set something upand, uh, but I think that was the only activitywas down there. I imagine that, I mean, it's NewYork, right? It never sleeps.
• 48:53
  It never stops, butthe quietness is, I remember it was kind ofominous. It's like people were just wasn't thathappy that hustle bustle.
• 49:00
  It's still there, butyeah, we set up, what did we set up here? 94, Ithink it was the DNA, the DNA, the DNA collectionfor the people who died. And the towers, theirfamilies were bringing toothbrushes and brushes.They were hoping to find people DNA stuff. Yeah.It was the whole thing. So, so, um, did you thennot go to work for how long were you not going towork after that happened?Like how long did it shut down?I remember kind of a blur.
• 49:31
  Yeah. I think it isfor pretty much everyone that was in the city atthat time. So you were there through nine 11. Um,were you an exec, a sales executive? Was thatyour last job in the city?Yes.And then had you had it with the city? Like whatmade you move? I had had it.
• 49:52
  Like I was ready. I,at that point, um, you know, it was fun, but Iwas ready for the next stage in my life. I wantedto, you know, I wanted to experience something alittle slower, get out of the city. And myparents had always had a time share down here inFlorida and I would come every year and I waslike, man, I don't really want to live down here.How do I live down here? My dad's like work. Youget retired. That's how you live down here. I waslike, that seems like a long time, dad. Yeah. So,um, and I imagine, I mean, that's a long time tolive in New York city. Yeah.
• 50:29
  I feel like I'veheard a lot of other people tell me that too.Like when I asked people that like 10 years, 10years, I was there for 10 years. Like, I feellike 10 years. Yeah. You're done. You're done. Sothat's just such a grind.
• 50:39
  Yeah. You wake up andit's on and maybe you go hide in your apartment,but then you need to go do something and it's on.Got to be on. Yeah. It's on.
• 50:48
  What would you sayis like one of your best memories from living inthe city? Um, oh my God.Well, before I moved out, I had a great apartmentand my best friend at the time, her bedroomapartment, her apartment was right next to mine.So my living room, all the other side was, yeah,we both had adjoining balconies.
• 51:10
  And yeah, so wehad a lot of fun. Just, you know, at that pointthat was just, I don't know anything particular,but we just ran around and, you know, we just hada lot of fun. Would you say you had a very Sexand the City type experience?
• 51:22
  Yeah. That's what Iwas thinking about when I just talked about herand our next journey we got was like Sex and theCity, which is, you know, the restaurants andthen going out and the dirty martinis and like,you know, we just did like running around andhaving fun. And that's awesome. You had thatexperience. We were both working, you know, yeah,we were both working and doing well and runningaround and having fun. And you could afford it.Yeah. We could afford it at that point because wehad lived with the roommates and the walk-ups andthe, you know, we did all that stuff. So. Wouldyour siblings or your parents ever come in andvisit you when you live there? Nobody reallywanted to come in and visit.
• 51:55
  Um, my, I broke myankle at one point, which was terrible. It was ina basketball league in New York. When you'restill playing sports. I was still playing sports.Yeah. Okay. And, um, was it mixed or just women?Just women, just women. I went down hard and Ilike crazy, crazy breaking my ankle and I neededsurgery and everything. So my mom came up andlike stayed with me for a couple of days becauseI was totally immobile. Um, but other than that,like, no, I think once my birthday, they came upand we saw a show and like, but during the 10years, no, nobody was like, a little bit of ahike from Philly. Is there a couple hours ofgetting through the tunnels and bridges and didyou ever do the Christmas stuff like radio city,Rockettes and all that? You know, I know it's sofunny. I never did that stuff.
• 52:45
  I had never goneto the empire state building.
• 52:48
  Like you just livethere. So I did go skating in Rockefeller centerand see the tree and all that. But I never sawrecords. I never, you never went to the top ofthe Empire State building.That's where I'll have to go back and do that.It's cool. It's cool. We have, we have a secret.We won't share it online, but if you do text,yeah, way to cut the line, the top way to cut theline. Okay. So you decided to leave the city. Sowhat steps did you take to get down to Florida?Well, I was just visiting my parents at thatpoint. I was still working and it was like, justa thought like, okay, I want to do somethingelse. I want to live some roles. And then I endedup getting engaged and marrying someone who liveddown here. Okay. Did you meet him in the city? Imet him in the city. Yeah, we were, we were, wehave a mutual. We ended up having a mutual friendwho set up up on a blind date. And so the blinddate happened in the city.
• 53:44
  And then, uh, youknow, eventually we got engaged and I got marriedand came down here. So that worked out becauseyou wanted to be down here anyways, right? Iwanted to be down here. So, okay. So it works.Yeah. So when you got down here, did you thenlook for a job? You didn't have a job when youcame down here, right? So you needed to find one.So what did you do? Considering, um, so theswimsuit, um, is in Miami, like for the, youknow, the garment district in Miami, but Ithought, Oh, that's a long drive. And you know, Idid that in New York. I don't know if I reallywant to do that. And I've always wanted to be ayoga teacher. And now that I'm down here, like,you know, I couldn't figure out how to do that inNew York and afford rent.So, um, I, I met someone who was doing yoga downhere and she was like, Oh, Mary, we're doing ateacher training. You should totally do it. And Idid. So is that something you did in New Yorkthough? Did you, I went to classes. Yeah. Yeah. Itook classes. That's where I first like started.Wow. I really liked this yoga thing. It'sawesome. So when did you start yoga? How old wereyou when you first did yoga?Oh God. Um, Oh, I don't know.
• 54:52
  Um, maybe 30.Okay. In the city. Okay.
• 54:59
  Yeah. It started going,I was going to Equinox and we take classes there.At the gym. Did you keep swimming after college?No, I stopped swimming, but you know, when Istarted swimming again, anytime I get injured orhurt when I hurt my ankle, I get back in thepool. Okay. I hurt something.
• 55:14
  I get that when Iwas pregnant, I got back in the pool. Like it'stherapeutic. It's therapeutic.
• 55:18
  Cause it takes,there's no weight. You just, you're not usingyour body weight. So it's very, very gentle andI'm happy that I, that I, is that a mind bodything for you or more of just the, you know,it'll help. I know it'll help.
• 55:30
  Yeah. I know it'llhelp. And it's like, you know, when I w with myankle, I had to, um, just wanted to get off it,it hurt, you know, to get off it. And so theswimming and the mobility and when you're in thewater, all your joints, you're super mobile andyou're completely supported by the water. Soit's, it's like the greatest thing if you haveany type of injury. So then you, did you getcertified to become a yoga instructor? And I gotcertified. How long does that take?That it's a 200 hour to be certified with yogaAlliance. So it was the 200 hours of training andteaching and watching, observing.
• 56:03
  And yeah, thatwas fun. And then you started teaching. Yeah. Andthen I started teaching.
• 56:08
  And did you like itright off the bat teaching?
• 56:10
  Actually, no.I didn't. It's so funny. I didn't really like itthat much because, um, um, I don't know. I thinklike, I guess I just, I wasn't that sure myselfin the beginning and you know, this is a physicalpractice now. So you're in charge of likepeople's physical safety and, you know, I just,so that I got a little nervous with that. Butthen the more I learned about the body and theanatomy and the practice and you know, likeanything, the more you do it, the more you learn.And then I ended up loving it. Okay. That's,that's great. And I have, I will say I've takensome classes from Mary. She's amazing. Yeah.You're amazing teacher. Yes.
• 56:49
  And I didn't knowanything I was doing and wonderful teacher. So,um, so you're married, you're a yoga teacher. Andthen did you, did you start a family? Yeah. Sothen I did, I have a daughter.
• 57:01
  Okay. Um, andthat's life changing. That was totally lifechanging. So you come from living almost 10 yearsin the city, living the sex in the city. Veryindependent. Very independent.
• 57:14
  Totally. You'vehustled and now you're living a domestic life andyou're very zen with yoga teaching and you becomea mother. So how would you describe how thatchanged your life? Becoming a mother. Um, I guessit changed everything because for the first time,instead of thinking about what do I want to do?What do I want to go? What do I want to learn?You know, changing from this flip and going fromthis to that, it was, what does she need?Yeah. Yeah. And I better learn fast. So I startedreading books about babies and pregnancies andnutrition and all of the things and I slept on myleft side and I, you know, I did all the things.And never stopped, I guess.
• 58:00
  Yeah, it doesn't.Yeah. It never ends. Isn't it amazing though, howwe immediately, um, come out of ourselves andit's all about that child has to be like, it'sjust immediate. Like you're in charge of thislife. Yes. Don't mess it up. Yes.And invariably somewhere along the line, we dosomehow a little bit, but for sure, you know, butit's, it's an instant thing, you know, andimmediately we're, and that's why I think it's sohard, um, for women, especially to balanceself-care when they become mothers. Oh yeah.Because our first instinct is always to give,give, give to our children.
• 58:37
  And, um, that'sdefinitely not something that Gen X women weretaught because of course our mothers andgrandparents, why can't speak, your mom wasunusual. No, so maybe she did talk to you aboutthis, but in general, our mothers andgrandparents, grandmothers didn't talk to usabout self-care, prioritizing that for ourselves,even as a mother, finding that time forourselves. And I think that's something that GenX moms are just now finding midlife, reallycarving that time out for ourselves, honoringourselves and, um, giving that self-care time toourselves. Because when we became mothers, weimmediately were like, it's all about you. Yeah.Just give it all over. I remember when I firstheard that free self-care, I was like, this isstupid. I'm like, what is that? Like go to sleep,eat, just be alive. Like I didn't, I didn't evenunderstand what it actually meant and, um, andhow important it really is.
• 59:35
  Well, for a lot ofpeople, yoga self-care. Oh, for sure. Oh my God.It's my self-care. Yeah.
• 59:39
  Yeah. So, all right. Soyou're humming along. You have your daughter. I'mgoing to love, I'm going to long. And, um, didyou do, in addition to teaching yoga, did you,because you seem to be very adventurous and, um,even though you might have a little bit ofimposter syndrome at times, it doesn't stop youfrom tackling new experiences.
• 59:59
  Um, so was thereanything else you did along the lines while youwere raising your daughter and teaching yoga?Yeah. So while I was teaching yoga, um, this isaround 2013 when yoga really started to becomelike big, big time, um, as far as even a fashionmovement, right? Like jeans used to be the comfyclothes and now where everyone's in leggings.Yeah. And anyway, I just remember like going tothese yoga classes and seeing these reallyterrible prints, just the kind of reminded me ofthe prints that I'd see like in cars in Europe,you know, how like, yeah, like that, that, thatcloth on the inside, it's like these like neontriangles and squares and it's just so ugly. Yes.Or it makes me think of jazzercise. Likejazzercise patterns. It's like this really uglyprints and patterns that you have computergenerated and they're on Nike and all these greatbrands. And I'm like, there's gotta be somethingbetter out there. So I ended up taking a class atthe art school down the street and, um, it was afashion design class and basically like learnedhow to do, um, the computer for these prints,like graphic design, pretty much, I guess you'dcall it graphic design. I don't even, and anyway,I took this class and then I got somemanufacturer to like, got some fabrics and then Istarted, all right, let's see what my print lookslike on the fabric. And I had known all about fitthrough my time in York and working in thegarment district. So I was like, okay, I gottafind the right fit and something that's notsee-through. I mean, you've seen all kinds ofthings in the yoga studio.
• 1:01:35
  You don't want to beseeing. And so any, any way long story short is Iended up creating, um, a leggings line. That'samazing. How do you even, like you said, you gota manufacturer and you got the fact, okay. So howdo you get a manufacturer?
• 1:01:49
  Yeah. That just soundslike you just pick up and call a manufacturer.Yellow pages. Yeah, I know.
• 1:01:54
  I mean, and then, sohow does, how do you even do that? So the woman Itook the class from, she had a couple ofconnections and I, I was trying to trial anderror. I had to call someone and they ended upmaking some samples for me that were so bad, likeI could have sewn these samples and I don't evenknow how to sew. They were really bad. And then,um, she finally hooked me up with somebody whodoes this on a large scale, lots of brands. Okay.And, um, so, and then the, and then the samething with the fabric, like I just looked up likeGoogle, it's like who, I think I looked up like,who does Lululemon get their fabric from? Whereare these? You know, and I found a place inCalifornia, which I liked in the USA. And I askedfor some of their samples and then just trial anderror, just what fabric weights and stretchinessthat you like. And, um, they just went fromthere. And so then you started your line, startedmy line. It was called man maker, man maker, manmaker sports. I just went on like zoom legalzoom, I think, and got an LLC. I'm like, I calledmy brother. He's a lawyer.
• 1:02:52
  I'm like, do I need toknow? What do I do? Like, how does one start abusiness? I didn't know like an LC and I did somepaintings, some drawings, some whatever. And Icreated some cool designs and put them on thepants. And I got a website domain on, you know,you can do these things.
• 1:03:10
  Yeah. Oh no, you knowwhat? I went to Shopify because I was sellingstuff and I just like figured that out. It's, Imean, it's not hard to figure that stuff out. IfI can figure it out, anyone can figure it out.Cause I'm not techie. Sorry.
• 1:03:20
  You, you must beartistically inclined though.
• 1:03:23
  I mean, yeah. Imean, to come up with these designs, I mean, andalso you worked in fashion that had to have beensomething that came naturally to you. Yeah. Ithink that I've always enjoyed aesthetically thatkind of thing and always loved fashion, but Ididn't know. And I just did it. I just did it.I'm like, let's just see how it turns out. If itturns out bad, it's bad. But some things came outreally, really nice that I was really proud of.And so, um, just ended up going for it. And thenwhere did you sell your, your, uh, attire? Causeit wasn't just leggings, right? You had, um,yeah, I know I had, um, bra sports bras. And Iended up doing a top and I ended up doing adress. I just basically didstuff that I wanted to wear.And, um, it was just again, another hustle. LikeI would go to trunk shows, like outside yogastudios at events around town, just hustling andfilling up back in my car with racks and allthese clothes and put them in garbage bags andhang them up and get a table and get somemarketing stuff and it, wow, it was fun. It was alot. Um, I did that. And then in the end I endedup getting in a couple of yoga studios, which wasvery, very cool and a lot better than all thathustle, hustle, hustle. But then COVID happenedand, um, and everything kind of shut down alittle bit. And then two years must've gone bybecause then I was over that.We're seeing a pattern here.
• 1:04:48
  Maybe I am a littlelady. I can't do anything for too long. Well, andI, and again, I can attest, I, um, own a fewpairs of leggings and I still wear them. I wearyour sports bras are super comfortable. You'renot doing that. Any of that anymore. Right. But Imean, how exciting that you did that. Yeah. Youknow, maybe I'll go back to it. It's very cool.Not now. It was really, really fun. Very cool.And super high quality compared to pretty mucheverything else that was out there. Super highquality. I think we learned our lesson from COVIDin Florida, so you could probably, probably safeto go back in. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Wellspeaking. Okay. So our, our COVID experience inFlorida, I would say is very different than therest of the world, like we, we were shut downmaybe what? Two months. We were lucky. We werevery lucky. There were still some places thatstill, you still to wear a mask, I think in thegrocery stores. Right. No.
• 1:05:44
  Wait now. No, no.After two months, I think we still had to wear.We did. I think we did. Right.
• 1:05:50
  I think. No, no,no. It was suggested. I remember being in publicsand being like the only person without a maskbecause it was suggested, but not required. Ithought even though serious hate on thatstatement. Yeah. But even though we, um, eventhough we opened after two months, I thought westill had to wear masks everywhere. Maybe thekids, right? The school's got right crazy andstuff, but I don't know. I don't know. Do youremember wearing masks in grocery stores andstuff? I remember taking off my mask in grocerystores and people being like, they would chaseyou. Um, no, I never got chased, but, um, whathappened? Oh, I know what happened. I didn't wantto wear my mask. And so they took my temperaturefair enough. So it was like, that's great at thestore. Yeah. Yeah. I remember going to the wholefood and they were like, ma'am, can you put onyour mask? And I was like, Oh, I don't wearmasks. Sorry. And they were like, okay, can wetake your temperature? I said, yeah, you totallytake my temperature. So they did that. And thatwas up. That's how pretty much everyone shouldhave done it on the country.
• 1:06:55
  Now that you saythat we went to a lacrosse tournament up inOrlando. And in order to get in, they had,remember that they would take your temperature atthe gate. As long as you weren't, you know, younever fever, you were fine.
• 1:07:08
  That's right. Itotally forgot about that approach.Even when we, um, we're traveling in the Souththe summer of 2020. It was pretty lax. I thinkthis, I think overall, that's when Dylan wasplaying lacrosse and we were playing lacrosse upin South Carolina. Very similar experience. Itwas over. Yeah. I think we had to wear maybe yourmask to the table or something to the need, whichmade no sense. They took it off. Yeah. But, but Ithink we were very fortunate to where we lived inFlorida. We definitely had a better experiencethan Northern friends. Absolutely.
• 1:07:48
  Absolutely.Okay. So after, um, so COVID hits, so you're notdoing man-maker sports anymore.
• 1:07:55
  Were you stillteaching yoga? Cause I know the yoga studio shutdown, right? They did. We were doing it online.That's right. Yeah. It was in my backyard. That'sright. And then, um, and then things kind of getback to normal. Was there another, any othermajor changes that happened in your life? After2020. Yeah. So, um, like, uh, are you talkingabout? Personally? Oh, personally.Well, yeah. So I, after COVID, yeah, I was juststarted teaching yoga again.
• 1:08:29
  And then I, I guessthe most, the biggest life event after that was Igot divorced. You got divorced.Yeah. So how long were you married?15 years. That's a long time. Yeah.Um, so you are divorced now, right? And you arestarting really freshly starting your new life.Right. Yeah. How has that been?Good. Yeah. It's been great.
• 1:08:55
  Clearly I likechange. So this, yeah, it wasn't two years. Itwas 15. Yeah, that was 15.
• 1:09:02
  Exactly. Exactly. Nowthis is a big, huge change.
• 1:09:05
  Um, and you're asingle mom. Yeah. It's been a single mom. So, um,for women out there that are maybe going througha divorce or freshly divorced, um, what advicewould you give? Cause you literally just wentthrough it. Yeah. I think I would say to anybody,um, thinking about getting divorced or my advicewould be look into a collaborative lawyer. Socollaborative lawyers, and you don't know thisuntil you go through it, but collaborativelawyers are, we'll save you a ton of time andmoney, which I did not have that option so much.I didn't, ours was not collaborative in this, ina sense that our lawyers were, um, litigators. Soit's either like you have a litigating lawyer,which is basically a fighting lawyer, or you havea collaborative lawyer, which works kind of forthe two of you together, and it's like, if youare on speaking terms, I think that you should atleast look up Google if you're, anyone's outthere thinking about doing this collaborativelawyer. Um, so it's just kind of can dismantleyour marriage in a more collaborative way that'sless adversarial and fighting and lengthy. Thesethings go on forever. And which of course is justa million dollar signs. It's terrible for thelawyers. Yeah. They make out right. They're,yeah, you're losing. Yeah.
• 1:10:25
  Everybody else. Andit's like your life. It's your life. Yeah. Yeah.It's like, why are you getting rich off of? It'sbig business. Yeah. It's big business. So that,that would be my biggest advice.
• 1:10:36
  I've never heardof a collaborative lawyer.
• 1:10:38
  I'm throwing it outthere because I, you don't, nobody really talksabout it. You heard these long divorces. Theytake two years, three years, four years, peoplespending, gajillion dollars.
• 1:10:45
  It's like, just geta collaborative, talk to your spouse, get acollaborative lawyer and be like, Hey, listen,let's try to do this like that. That would be myadvice. Is that like one attorney who's acting onboth of your rehabs to mediate a conversation anda settlement, rather than you pay your team, theother person pays their team.
• 1:11:03
  It's one persontrying to help you sort it out. Or I don't knowif you each get a collaborative lawyer or if it'sone lawyer. I kind of think it's one that goesbetween the two of you and just is like themediator type of person that's like, all right.And they try to, and you have to do that in theend anyway. You have to kind of figure, unlessyou're going to go to court and then let somejudge figure it out for you.
• 1:11:25
  But you kind of getthere eventually anyway. So it's kind of likecutting to the chase. Like we're going to end upsplitting whatever it is we're splitting anddeciding on whatever we decide. Let's talk itover now with this person.
• 1:11:36
  So yeah, peoplehaven't heard of collaborative.
• 1:11:38
  No, no. It almostreminds me of, um, the concept of a mediator, butas a lawyer, exactly what it is, which soundsperfect. It's like skipping to the end and justhaving that person do you see a lot of money anda lot of time. That's my advice. That's greatadvice. That is great advice.
• 1:11:54
  Um, cause it's,it's so stressful anyways, then to be throwing somuch money at lawyers is, isso you, um, have your, is it your own place nowfor the first time in 15 years? How's that?It's good. I mean, I'm still just pretty muchunpacking. There's boxes everywhere. There'spainters everywhere. So it's, um, it's, it'sawesome. It's great. I mean, it's a, it's a newbeginning. It's a new start.
• 1:12:21
  It's so it'sexciting. And it's your own place. It's my ownplace. It's your own dishes and your owneverything. Everything is you're picking it out.And yeah, that's that. I'm, I'm really happy foryou that, um, that you found a place that you cancall home and feel comfortable and you, you know,for you and for your daughter and your dog, sothat's awesome. So what, so then, um, during thedivorce also, um, wasn't there some loss? Youwent through a lot in a short period of time.Yeah. And, um, um, right before it, I lost mydad. And so that was very, very, very difficult.What did he pass away from?It was, he went to the dentist and he wasn'tfeeling well after that. And so I think he gotsick. He got a virus. He got sick and just thatgeneration, what generation is that 1937? I mean,that's silent. Well, yeah.
• 1:13:17
  So it's like, theycould be a breath from death.
• 1:13:20
  I'm okay. I don'twant to see a doctor. I'm fine. And it was kindof like that. And I think by the time we finallyacted, um, it was, it was pretty far gone and itwas just like, we were just like backpedaling andtrying to, how old was he trying to save hislife? Um, my dad died at 84, 85. I forget. Hedied in 2023, right after his birthday. He's he'sthe end of the year birthday.
• 1:13:45
  Um, yeah. So that,that was terrible. And then right after that,then the divorce started and that thing took ayear and a half, two years, and that just cameout of that now. And, um, it's kind of startingagain, back to back traumas in a way. Yeah. So itis a lot. Yeah. It's funny cause your dad alsosame generation. Um, wasn't feeling well, notreally not communicating it to many people, maybeyour mom and come to find out, you know, he hadcancer and I think hepassed away seven weeks later.I think it's, I think it's something with thatgeneration, the men, like not talking about theirhealth and the women too.
• 1:14:26
  My mom was the sameway. Did you lose your mom?
• 1:14:28
  2021. Okay. That'swhat I thought. So, and what did you lose yourmom from? I think just old age, but she, she, mymom would not take any medication.
• 1:14:39
  And, um, youknow, she had high blood pressure or she had, um,heart disease and she just, you know, lived herlife and did her thing. And eventually she justkind of. How come shewouldn't take any medication?
• 1:14:54
  It out.She just, she, after my mom died, we found likeall this, these. You know, notebooks and things.And she, this quote from, I think, I don't know,Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, somebody sayinglike the, the, the best medicine is nutrition andfood. And she believed in all that, which I alsodo, but she, um, didn't have the lifestyles tosupport that completely. You know, she was an outlike going to her yoga class or whatever she, youknow, and she was homeless kids real life. But soshe just didn't want to take medication and shedid. And I'm not saying taking it would haveprolonged her life or not, but, um, the sideeffects and the this and the that, you know, shejust didn't want any of that.
• 1:15:35
  She just didn'twant any of that. And shejust lived her life her way.So, and then she held with she, when she passedaway 83. Okay. So they were both in like a prettygood life though. Yeah. She was 83 now that Iknow my dad was 85. Yeah.
• 1:15:47
  That's pretty good.Nowadays, even your mid eighties is still kind ofyoung. Like people are living longer. I know. Ifyou think like when we were younger, I thinkabout 80, but there's still, you know, it's nothow it used to be. Like sixties are like theforties. I feel like of the fifties. I agree.Yeah, I know. 100%. So you lost your mom and thenyou lost your dad and then you go through this.Crazy. Yeah. So you really are coming. I feel outof this into this new chapter of your life. Um,you have your new, your place, your space. Um,what about professionally?
• 1:16:23
  Cause you, are youteaching yoga still? I'm still teaching yoga.Okay. Um, and, um, I, when this whole thingstarted, the divorce, I mean, I, um, did I go seea, I went to, I went to go see a channeler. Okay.So, and she, I walked in there. Now she's not achanneler. She's a. Like a medium. No, what's theword she's, um, Oh, what's the word Nicole? Andshe, um, not a psychic, I guess it's type ofpsychic, but it's like, um, trying to think likeme. Um, I'm thinking of like a Ouija board.No, not that I forget. I forget. I think it waslike in the realm of Reiki, which is like energy,which is why I was drawn to this and so I went,but she, but she turned out to be like kind oflike psychic and things anyway, long story short,as I walked in there and she was like, yes, yes,they're telling me at some like, who, you know,and she's just like, wherever I was talking toher and she's like, what is it you really want todo, you know, and I'm like, well, I'm really nowI know I'm getting divorced.
• 1:17:25
  I'm like, you know,I'm teaching yoga, but maybe I want to dosomething else or something more into this. And,um, she was like, have you ever heard of tapping?And I said, yeah, I've heard of it, but I don'treally know exactly what it is. And she, and sothen she's like, I think whatever that turnedinto me getting curious about what is tapping,which is EFT, which is,um, what is EFT stand for?It's emotional freedom techniques. Emotionalfreedom techniques. Yeah.You, um, you speak like what is on your mind.What's happening with her.
• 1:17:54
  It's an anxiety, astress of fear, something that happened in thepast and it's happening in the future orsomething you're worried about now. Sadness,whatever you're, you're speaking the words asyou're tapping. So, um, you are processing thewhatever trauma, the worry, the fear, the stressphysically and emotionally.
• 1:18:10
  So it's kind of likere I'm sorry. Is it kind of like rewiring? Yes.Yeah. It's like rewiring.
• 1:18:16
  So it's like, you'renot changing the experience you had. You'rechanging your perception of the experience.You're not storing it as, as, as, as a trauma oras a trigger stress. It's another way ofunpacking trauma. It's another way of unpackingtrauma. So not just psychologically, butphysiologically. Yeah. Cause it's the tapping andthe talking together. Right.
• 1:18:36
  So we're taught thattrauma comes to the body, enters physically. Andso it has to leave physically.
• 1:18:42
  Because the bodynever forgets. It holds on to trauma, right?Right. Right. Until you do.
• 1:18:46
  And I always say, ifyou don't deal with something in your mind, yourbody's still going to deal with that. A thousandpercent. Your sickness, through what something isgoing to happen. Yeah. So it's almost releasingthat. Yes. Physically.
• 1:18:59
  Yes. But alsopsychologically at the same time. So it's liketherapy. Yes. It is like, it's like literallylike it is like, it is therapy.
• 1:19:07
  Pretty much. Imean, I think we're technically not allowed tothink I wouldn't, so I got certified in this.Right. Right. Um, so you're not able to sayyou're a therapist. I'm not a psychologist oranything like that. I am certified in EFT tappingand, um, um, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,it's amazing. I mean, it's, it's so amazing. Andthen what's cool about it is when you're thepractitioner, all you're doing is asking,listening and asking questions and it's all, itall comes from within the client, the patient,the person, you know, and it's so cool. Cause asyou're tapping and talking, you might be talkingabout this fear you have of speaking in front oflarge groups because you have to do this for yourwork, so we're tapping through it. And then allof a sudden you, you're like, wow, this is crazy.I'm thinking about that time in fifth gradewhere, you know, I was made fun of because I hadon like these bad genes or whatever, and then,and then it turns into that and, and you kind of.It's like, wow, what happened?
• 1:20:06
  And well, that wasthe day that we all went to the auditorium andyou find out like why you have this fear oftalking in front of people.
• 1:20:11
  And if you can kindof get in there and just kind of smooth out thatmemory, it lightens your load then for a talktrip. Yeah, it's very trippy.
• 1:20:19
  It's, it's amazing.Cause all that stuff is stored in your memory andin your body. When you do that, then are you, sayyou're, you and I are doing this. Are you tap meor am I tapping myself and you're talking andfacilitating? You're following my lead. So I'llbe okay. Tap on the side of your hand and I'llsay something and you'll repeat it, but it's beyour words, like you'll tell me what's going on.Like if you're like, um, for, we'll just use thefear of talking in front of people, you couldsay, Oh my gosh, I have, I'm, I have to give apresentation tomorrow in front of a thousandpeople. And I am anxious and nervous. And I'dsay, where do you feel it in your body? Brian,you'd be like, I feel it in my gut. I'm like,okay. So you'd be like, even though I feelanxious and nervous and I feel it in my gut,cause I have to talk tomorrow in front of athousand people. And then you have an end orwhere that's the positive part. I still deeplyand completely accept myself or ice. I still knowI can get through it and I'll do it well orwhatever the end you want to say is, and thenI'll say, okay, top of the head feeling anxiousin my stomach, and then you'll be like anxious inmy stomach. So I'm doing it and you're mirroringme. Okay. So you're doing it.
• 1:21:19
  I'm looking at youand I'm, I'm tapping meand you're tapping you. Okay.Which also is a good question because some peopleask like, wow, how do you do this? Like, youknow, people can go through heavy things and getthrough it and not be exhausted or take it on andyou're not taking it on cause you're doing thetapping too. So you're keeping yourself.Then, and, um, is the tapping then sort of adistraction or you, or maybe the outlet, right?It's if I'm tapping and I'm thinking of this,you, maybe you start off with this negative thingthat's causing you anxiety, and then you switchto more positive thoughts or, or just dig into ita little bit. And as you're tapping, is that away to like kind of get it out? That's the outletreleasing the concept.
• 1:22:07
  Totally. So you'restarting to top at the center of your head, whichis your amygdala. And that's where your whole,your memories, your bad memories or your traumaor whatever. So it's, it's starting these, everypart has a different, um, energetic, like openingin the body. So you're tapping on very specificspots, but also why you're tapping. Yes. Causeyou have to think about what to say. You'rephysically moving. So you're using left brain andright brain. So it does distract you a littlebit. And then, yeah, so that's a great questionand that it's all part of it and why it workstogether. So are you working with people doingthat actively? Yeah. And have you seen, you'vehelped people get something, I don't know, offtheir chest, out of their bodytype of thing, off their mind.Unpack their trauma. Unpacking.
• 1:22:52
  Unpackaging iswhat it really is. Or as he calls it,unpackaging. He always gets her wrong. He saysunpackaging, not unpackaging.
• 1:22:57
  I'm coining that.But then, um, put it on the shirt. Yeah.But then, um, so let's say the next day they goto give their speech and I don't know if you justtouched on this, but can they then tap at thatsame spot to re-calm themselves?
• 1:23:13
  Mm-hmm. Oh yeah,for sure. Um, one of the sneaky ways you can doit is on your fingertips.
• 1:23:19
  You can just kind ofsqueeze the side of your fingertips and nobodysees like one and then the other just to kind ofcalm yourself down. It's almost like pressurepoints. I don't think. Now does it go below theneck? The tapping? Yeah. So it starts top of thehead here and then you'll go side of the eye,under the eye here, here, and then right aroundcollarbone area. And then the last area is likefour inches below the armpit here. Okay. And itstarts at the side of the hand. Now, um, I know alot of people also carry trauma in their hips,but does tapping not do you, so you stay, youstay up here. Physically with the tapping, westay up there, but we can tap on physical painanywhere. Okay. All right.
• 1:24:03
  When I say on it, Imean, acknowledge it, like, even though I havethis searing pain in my hip and it started lastweek and I feel anxious about it, you know, Ideeply and completely upset myself. Like we cango through it and then your pain can start.Sometimes it's, there is a technique calledchasing the pain or now they call it chasing thesensation. It can start to move and you're like,you know, my hip feels okay, but now my kneehurts, my knee is okay, but now my shoulder'sfeeling it and you're chasing it because yourbody's like sending it places. You're movingenergy. And also people start to yawn far. Likethings happen. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:24:38
  What a trip. Yeah.Energy starts to move. Involuntary responses insome ways. What a trip. Yeah.
• 1:24:44
  Do you have peoplethat come for regular sessions like repeatedly oris it mainly? Not as much now I need to, I'mtrying to cultivate my business in this. So whatI'm doing mostly is teaching yoga, but I've hadsome zooms like, and I have to get my website outthere, you know, I have been in like marketing.Well, you've been busy. Come on. What are youdoing? You got to get it together. It's beengetting divorced and starting your new chapter.It takes a lot. You're really, you're reallythere now, like at the edge of that. So are you,um, are you just doing the tapping and theyogurts or any, it feels like there's a lot ofthings, it's a spider web of, of related thingsthat could go with that. I haveone more, um, pan on the stove.It's a homeopathy. So I'm a student of homeopathyright now, which is an energy medicine, really.And, um, uh, it's a two year program that I'm inand, uh, I'm, June will be one year into it, butit'll be halfway. Wow. Yeah.
• 1:25:43
  And then next year,hopefully I'll be a registered homeopath of NorthAmerica. So is that like a doctor of homeopathicmedicine? Not a doctor, just certified to withhomeopathic homeopathic medicine.
• 1:25:55
  So that wholething I think is really related to the tappingand the energy, the emotional freedom techniques.Um, because the emotional freedom techniques, thetapping that's your moving energy, you'respeaking and with homeopathy, you're taking theselittle pellets that hold the energy, thefrequency of whatever it's comes from, you know,whether it's a flower or a mineral or whatever,that's, it's the energy from that substancethat's been potentized and put into this littleteeny tiny pill that if you look at under amicroscope, you're going to see basicallynothing, but it holds the frequency.It's talk about trippy. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah.And then you take the pill.
• 1:26:37
  You take it, you letit, um, just melt underneath your tongue and yourbody just kind of absorbs it and it just assiststhe body. So the whole, the whole concept isbehind homeopathy, homo is same. So like cures,like, so say you have a fever and a headache onthe left side of your head and you have, youknow, a rash on your feet will find you a remedythat if you took it causes a rash on the feet,headache on the left side of your eye and afever. So, so like negates kind of it meets yourbody where your, so your body's responding tosomething. So your body doesn't mess up. Yourbody's like trying to help you. Right. Right. Sogreat examples of fever. When you start to get afever, your body's not hurting you. Your body'strying to get rid of that pathogen that that ishurting you. Yeah. And that's how it gets rid ofit. So it makes that pathogen uncomfortable byraising the body temperature.
• 1:27:27
  So when you take aremedy, the remedy that's very specific toexactly what's going on, and there's a milliondifferent kinds of temperatures, maybe you'rebetter with hot water with cold lying down,standing up, there's all these specifications,but the bottom line is you take the remedy thatthat's best fits you at that moment and it mightraise your, your temperature a little bit, butit's actually assisting your body. And then thetemperature will be gone rather than suppressingit. Right. With Advil or Tylenol or whatever,even though that feels better, your temperaturewill come back. And you're not talking about justone pill that is the cure-all.
• 1:28:01
  It's addressingspecific issues. Yeah. Super specific. So when I,I used to get vertigo really bad, like I'd havethese drop attacks, we'd be sitting and soon thewhole room's spinning and the solution, the bestsolution I found was a homeopathic, I think itwas called like Composetum something. Costicum.Yeah, maybe. And I would put it under my tonguewas sublingual type of thing.
• 1:28:26
  And that thing wasthe best. Yeah. It's a trip.
• 1:28:29
  So you're ontosomething. I'm a huge believer in that. Was thatherbally based? Was that from an herb? What youtook? No clue. I just, some are herbs, some arefrom poisonous substances.
• 1:28:40
  Yeah. Yeah. You know,it's, it's all from natural earth, earth, someare from earth. You know, who's into this verymuch is Pat. Yeah. We're going to have him on.We're going to have a friend of ours is, is, um,very well versed in this.
• 1:28:54
  He had like Lymedisease, nearly died from a few different things.And he found, he made it back. He's a doctor ofnaturopath. Yeah. He's a doctor. Yeah. Yeah.Naturopath out in Oregon.Um, so you're getting trained in that. Yeah. Sothen will it be like, once you're done with yourcertification, you will, you can prescribe peoplethese, but it's all over the counter. I think,right. It's not. It's all over the counter. Likeright now I can, I can, as a student, I can take,um, cases, you know, and charge a little ministudent rate because I'm being overseen by anaturopathic doctor who's training us in a groupof 12 people in this class.
• 1:29:31
  And it's amazing. Dr.Eli camp. She's amazing. And she's got a lot ofcool books out. You can read too. Um, her name'sDr. Eat, Eli, Elizabeth camp, Elizabeth camp. Andis, are these on like zoom virtual? It's a zoomevery week. Yeah. We take cases and then wediscuss the cases and then come up with theremedies. And that's cool.
• 1:29:51
  It's really fun. Yeah.That's cool. That's really, really, every daywill be different. You'll be dealing withdifferent ailments. And I bet, are you finding sofar that the folks you're talking to have triedto go the traditional medicinal route and it'snot working and now it's like, I want to trysomething different. A lot of times that happens.Yeah. Where they've tried so many differentthings and then they're like, I'll try anything.I'll try this homeopathy thing. You know, andsome people are just wanting to do something morenatural in the first place.
• 1:30:21
  So it's like a mix,but you know, it's interesting with these casesthat we're taking, um, that I'm getting to listento. It's like, I'll give an example of, you know,someone will come in with vertigo and, andtinnitus and a skin fungus and athletes foot. Andthen we're like, okay, so I'm thinking, allright, what's the worst thing for you? Is it theathletes foot? Is it the tinnitus? Like what'sdriving you crazy? And you take their case andeither they taught, they're taking their case cantake like two hours. And it's not just tell meabout your, your, your skin fungus or yourtinnitus. Tell me about your marriage. Tell meabout your childhood. Tell me about that orwhatever they want to talk about. Cause it comesforth. And then what's blowing my mind is aswe're taking these cases, we prescribe on themain thing, what's the main thing of the case.And sometimes the main thing is not the skinfungus or the tinnitus or the vertigo. The mainthing is shame that your dad was in jail when youwere a kid. That's what we're prescribing. What atrip. Interesting. So there's, you're not, youknow, it's not like here, take some dandelionroot for that, right? There's got to dig a littledeeper. What do you do in that situation when yourealize that psychological you prescribe forthat? That's what you prescribe.
• 1:31:32
  And, and youmay, how do you prescribe forthat? That's a psychological,really for shame. So that's, well, yeah, I mean,and how you deal with shame, like you might dealwith shame differently than Nicole deals withshame. Like you might, I have no shame.You might deny it. Yeah.She might like throw something against the wall,right? You know, someone else might like go intolike rages, you know, um, or, or whatever. Soeverybody deals with it differently. And thenthat's what that, and it's, it's so specific. Youask all these questions. It's not, it's not, oh,you have a headache and you have this, you wouldgive you that or, oh, you have shame. Wow. No,no, no, no. It gets. So psychological and again,and physiological. So it ties in with the tappingtoo. So it can be a whole thing. Like when youmeet with someone, it can be a holistic medicine.Wow. So are you studying anything else that, Imean, this feels like it keeps growing andgrowing. Is there, are there any other new thingsyou're studying related to this?Well, for the, for the, orin this world, two years.I'm back in tears. Right.
• 1:32:42
  It'll be some other, Ijust feel like it can snowball.
• 1:32:45
  Yeah. No, itdoes. It does. And I, I guess I'm so excitedabout it now. Cause it's like, they're, they'reall related that the yoga, the tapping, thehomeopathy, um, and didn't you go out to, um, wasit like Tahoe or Palm Springs? Desert inCalifornia. And I thought you were studyingsomething else kind of related in this world.It's called matrix re-imprinting.
• 1:33:07
  Okay. And I didit through Craig Weiner and Alina Frank there, orthere are my mentors and teachers for the EFTtapping. They're amazing.
• 1:33:15
  And they, um, Matrixre-imprinting is part of the tapping thing. It'slike a leg of it, but you go into your past lifeor not your past life. You go into your youngerself maybe. So, uh, and that's, it's, it's verywild and it's really cool.
• 1:33:34
  And that you do. Andthat actually Brian, when you said before, like,is the tapping kind of take your mind off thingswhen you're going into make into the matrix. Soit's called like the matrix because anything canhappen. It's it's, there's no time space orreality. It's kind of you when you were 10 yearsold and you got in this fight with your dad andthen you didn't see him out, like whatever thememory was for you that you have to go back toyour, while you're doing it, you're tapping juston the fingertips and that kind of puts you in alittle bit of a hypnotic kind of ish head space.So you can see yourself as that 10 year old. Andthen you start talking to that 10 year old as acompletely different entity than you.And you have to listen, like what is 10 year oldNicole saying? What does she need in that momentthat she's scared and this is happening to her orshe's watching something happening, you know,cause you're holding that trauma from when youwere a 10 in your body. Yes.
• 1:34:25
  Okay. So now, sothat through the tapping, you can go back andtalk about how you feel about it now, but throughmatrix re-imprinting, you actually go back inyour mind to 10 year old Nicole and you nowNicole speaks to 10 year old Nicole, just likeyou're speaking to me now.
• 1:34:44
  That's who you'relooking at. You're not looking at you. You'relooking at 10 year old Nicole.
• 1:34:48
  And that's whenyou're in the matrix. And you have thatconversation and you help that child heal in thatconversation and feel safe.
• 1:34:58
  Yes. It's all aboutsafety that you become the person that childneeded at that time. Exactly.
• 1:35:03
  Right. Exactlyright. You become that person.
• 1:35:06
  You ask her, whatdo you need to happen? Yeah.
• 1:35:08
  And she can say, Ineed my mom to apologize to me or my need my dadto come back and not lock the door or whateverhas to happen and you, and you, you give it toher, you say, okay, that's going to happen. Andthen you wait until it happens or what do youneed? You know, I need, I need my brother toapologize to me. Okay. So then how does, how doesit happen? I'm not following it. So when it, so,so if you say that's going to happen, you wait,meaning it happens back in, it's happening then.Like when you're with that child, it happens thatlike you see it happens. So let your mom comeback and apologize to you. Like it's avisualization thing that you're going tovisualize your mom came back in, apologize, andnow you're going to closethat chapter in your trauma.This is, you can ask, what is your mom saying toyou? You're asking Nicole, what is your momsaying to you? Oh my gosh, she's hugging me.She's telling me that she loves me and she made abig mistake and it wasn't my fault or whatever itis. This is like deep unpacking.
• 1:36:04
  Deep, deep,deep, deep, deep. This is serious. Questionpacking. Now is there, I'm thinking of like aguided mushroom psilocybin trip or a peyote orthe what's that other stuff?
• 1:36:17
  The ayahuasca isthat in, is that part of this at all? Or is thismore the, you're going to channel it naturallythrough thoughts and tapping and it's, you knowwhat I'm going to know. Maybe there's a workshopfor that. I'll have to take it, but I know Ididn't take that one. But for this, for this, itsounds like that. Yeah, no, it's tricky, but forthis, it's no, it's just you and you're goinginto the matrix in your mind because this allhappened and you're not, even though you'reasking the echo, that's little you, what sheneeds. It's you're not changing the memory.You're just allowing you in that moment to getwhat you actually need. So then when you come outof the matrix, it's imprinted in you, that newfeeling of I got what I needed.
• 1:37:06
  I'm not harboringwhatever it is. You're healing.
• 1:37:10
  You're healing.You know that your mom left you and you know thatthing actually happened. You're not like changingyour, your reality. Yeah.
• 1:37:19
  You, what actuallyhappened, but you get to feel and sense. It's asensory. You get to sense and feel a different,safer solution or moment or whatever. Which isphysiological and not just psychological. Youallow someone to envision a different outcomethat they wanted to have. And then that becomesthe memory or the association, or at least analternative to what really happened. It'sallowing people to find heavy stuff. Yeah. It'sallowing them to find their own closure, to givethemselves their own closure when the people intheir lives maybe wouldn't, we'll never give itto them. Right. You can, there's so many levelsto that. So many levels. So are you certified inthat? Cause you went out there and did that wholeworkshop. I don't think I'm certified yet. I haveto watch like a bunch of videos, um, of more andmore and more of that work being done, and then Iwill be certified. I mean, I did the workshops. Iwent out there, I did the work and it had on me.And it was amazing. I can't even imagine. It'scool because there's things that you think about.I'm sure everybody has like little memories thatyou carry that just, they're like kind of talkingto you in the back of your head, even thoughyou're not consciously thinking about them everyday, or though sometimes you might be. Um, youknow, I had one and then I worked on it and I,and I honestly haven't thought about it sincewe're talking about it right now, and it would belike a little memory that I was going to ask youback there. If you've, has this helped you? Allright. You've gone through some shit in the lastfew years. Has this helped you kind of. Well,have you, have you used this at all for currentstuff that's happened in your life or are you notthere? Are you not ready to go back to, to dealwith that yet? I haven't used matrix on recentstuff. Yeah. I've used it on things. Um, I don'tknow, my memory when I was around 10, a memorywhen I was on around 11, and I would think aboutthem a lot, but not so, I don't know. You knowwhat? Do you know what I'm saying? They call ityour Roman empire. So there was this whole thingon social media probably about a year ago wherethey say men always every day, at least oncethink about the Roman empire.
• 1:39:29
  Every man you know,thinks about the Roman empire, at least once aday. Is that symbolic? No, it's just, they saythat happens. I don't, I don't know if it'sliterally true, but they said in general, menwill think about the literal Roman empire thattime, history, once a day, right? So now ifthere's a thing that pops up in your head, peoplesay, that's my Roman empire, that's my thing thatyou, it's just that thing you think about. Youdon't know why, but you still think about itdaily or weekly or whatever it is, it still isthere. It's your Roman empire. But I wonderalmost what you're describing.
• 1:40:04
  Roman empire ismore like, I don't know, this nebulous thoughtabout Romans. No, no, when it was, yeah. Yeah.She's describing more like maybe some traumatic.Yeah. I'm just, I'm just using it. Figurativelythough, I'm saying figuratively, it's her Romanempire. I'm not saying she's thinking about theRoman empire. I'm not suggesting that, but one'slike nebulous, like, oh yeah, it'd be cool tolive back in the Roman. Yeah, hers is personal.Yeah. Yes. I see what you're saying, but stillthat's like your, sort of the goal of this alsois, um, because of that moment, that thing thathappened or didn't happen or whatever. You havesome, you took away a belief about yourself orabout the world around you.And we all have these beliefs.
• 1:40:45
  Yes. I'm terribleat public speaking or I'm not good enough. I'mnot smart enough. I'm never going to make enoughmoney. I'm never going to have enough. Whateverit is that, that drives you.
• 1:40:56
  Everybody has theselimiting self beliefs. I love the concept. It isliterally rewiring. Yeah.
• 1:41:05
  And, and it's selfcare. There's your example of self care, Mary.And I started laughing at self care. Now it'slike my, my drive. Right.
• 1:41:14
  Exactly. It's, it'sdefinitely a form. Yeah.
• 1:41:17
  Cause therapies is aform of self care. And in my opinion, my opiniononly, um, this, I think this is a form oftherapy. You know, if you really take the wholepicture of it, how can it not be? Cause therapygets in your brain. They, they ask you questionsand have you do practices and it's, it's verysimilar. So, and I think therapies of Well, likeFreud and young would be super proud of thisbecause they're love it. The godfathers, right?The originators of psychoanalysis.
• 1:41:44
  This is thatin such an evolutionary scale of leaps andbounds. It's a trip. How common is this, is thisrelatively new, this concept, or has this beenaround for a long time? I think the matrix, Idon't really know. I know that, um, I think Iwant to say in the early eighties is when thiskind of started and I could be wrong, but AlinaFrank, my mentor learned from Gary Craig. Andthat was, and he did that, like came up with thisthing in the eighties and it was,let's answer your question.
• 1:42:17
  I want to say it waslike early eighties. And that's new. Yeah. Yeah.Um, but, but I would encourage anybody listeningwho thinks this is kind of interesting, just gofor it. Take the workshop, look up, um, AlinaFrank and look up Greg Wiener.
• 1:42:28
  They are amazing.And this workshop I did with them for EFT levelone and two was in June of 2023. And it took meabout a year. And then after that, um, then Ijust did matrix in January of 2025. And, andthere's so much more to learn. There's so muchmore to do. Yeah. I can only imagine. So if youwere going to start taking clients for this, areyou setting up a space in your new home to acceptpeople? Or are you going to just meet with peoplevirtually? Or have you thought about it? So Ihave a little office in my house. I could meetpeople there. Or I can meet people at theirhouses or, um, I was working with a woman in Zoomand she's in California, so it's something youcan do with Zoom. Cause yeah, I'm not tapping onyou. You're doing your own thing. Yeah. Yeah.Yeah. Um, so it can totally be on Zoom. It's veryversatile. I worked witha guy in the Philippines.Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Zoom. Mm-hmm. I thinkthat it's something that, um, cause snowballdefinitely, you know, if you start getting moreand more clients and helping people,yeah, it's the business partner, I have to figureout how to, I probably need to get on socialmedia and do all that stuff that I'm not on.Yeah. Um, yeah, but it's, it, I think for this,it's worth getting on. Yeah.
• 1:43:41
  Yeah. You know, toget, to get the word out.
• 1:43:43
  For me, that's theboring part, but I got to do that part. Yeah.Well, you've, like I said, you're really at thispoint in your life now where you're kind of readyto probably go for it. Yeah.
• 1:43:51
  And you focus, youknow, so you have another year before you'recertified with the, um, homeopathy.And, um, and so you'll have that plus the tappingplus the matrix treatment or when it helps reimprint, re imprint, which is really what youwould do in a tapping session, like, so once youhave a couple of tapping sessions, with someone,then they kind of know the drill with thetapping. If there's a limiting self belief thatkeeps coming up, you might need, then you wouldcould say, Hey, when I approach this a differentway, we could, you know, it wouldn't be somethingyou would just go to someone and say, Hey, I wantmatrix treatment to kind of like do the tappingand be familiar. And then, cause that's way moreintense. So you probably have to get people justused to the whole concept of what's happeningbefore you take them deeper into it. Or withthem. Yeah. Yeah. There's a level of trust,obviously. Definitely. Yeah.
• 1:44:42
  Have you, have yoursiblings done it with you at all? Or have youworked with your siblings?
• 1:44:48
  I've done tapping witha couple of my siblings, but I've never done thematrix. I really, I've got, I've when I, I wantedto matrix with them. Yeah.
• 1:44:56
  It's super cool. I'vedone it with my, I've did an exchange with one ofmy fellow students that we did the workshop withvery, very cool. It's fun.
• 1:45:03
  And we're completestrangers. So I think it's so exciting. I'mexcited to see where this goes for you because Ithink this has so much potential because I,because I think it, again, it could help so manypeople and especially people, especially Gen Xerswho are really getting to a point where they'reunpacking their trauma. I could see this takingoff for them, but not just that, but women whoare going through divorce, like people in abusivesituations, like it can just be so healing. Soit's such a great opportunity for people. Yeah.It really has no, no cap to it. And it really hasno, nothing's too small.
• 1:45:40
  Nothing's too big. Youknow, it can be, I get nervous at work or Ireally hate my boss. You know, I don't want tofeel like that. You know, it can be any of thatstuff. There's no, there's no problem too big ortoo small. Exactly. Exactly.
• 1:45:51
  Now, what about withkids? Do people do it with kids? Great with kidsand helping them with anxiety and stress. Whatabout with like ADHD and ADD?
• 1:45:58
  Has there been anywork with that? I don't, I don't know how tospeak to that. Like from a medical standpoint, Ijust think that if it's, you know, everything'sconnected, the mind, the body, so wherever that'scoming from, if you can tap on it or, or ifthere's a result of the ADD that is undesirableor that someone's nervous about like, Oh, everytime I go in a classroom, I started like jerkingmy foot around and it embarrasses me. Like we cantap on that, you know, and see kind of, and ittakes its own life. It takes its own path. Yeah.I can see, I can see really helping Gen Z has alot of anxiety. That generation, I could see it.The kids in their twenties right now, they getparalyzed a lot of, not all of them, but many ofthem get paralyzed with the anxiety. I could seeit being a tool for that generation too, justwith anxiety alone. For anyone.
• 1:46:50
  Well, I've beenthinking the, the fidget spinner things. That's abig thing for the kids with ADHD.It almost is a comparable, maybe the, that fidgetspinner stuff is for younger kids, cause that'sthe, no, I think that Ithink college students have used,well, you might, I think you might have some ofthat. I don't think I'vesat still this entire time.We might all. So in, in this life, thisadventurous life you've been living where you'vebeen tackling all these different jobs and takingall these different chances.
• 1:47:27
  Have you traveled?Just to kind of recently to California and to dothe matrix. No, I really haven't traveled in thepast, I'd say the past five years. I haven'treally traveled that much.
• 1:47:41
  I used to travel alot. Where did you go when you used to travel?Well, I used to travel when I was married. Okay.Yeah. So we would travel the different.Do you go to Europe? Mm hmm.
• 1:47:52
  What countries inEurope have you been to?
• 1:47:55
  France. And then, youknow, once we went out there, then we'd tack onthe vacation, close by, go to Italy. That's oneof my favorite places to go.And, um, England, Scotland, youknow, on trips. Do you go to Spain? No.I went to Spain in college.
• 1:48:13
  Okay.Tell you what happened tome in Spain. No. In Spain.Um, well, I studied abroad in college when I wasa junior, uh, my spring semester of my junioryear. I, did you guys do that? A lot of, wedidn't, I don't think our school offered it.Okay. Yeah. They did, but I don't know. Now Ididn't, we followed the dead.Oh, there you go.No, no, we, we went and saw grateful that showsus. So we, no, internationally.
• 1:48:43
  Did you go? No,no, no. Okay. No, no. Like up and down the Westcoast. Yeah. You know, San Francisco, but wedidn't do, we're study abroad now. No, but so youdid that your, your junior spring, my springsemester, my junior year.
• 1:48:58
  Yeah. I did that. Andthat was really fun. I, my parents kudos to themfor trusting me to do that and sending me out ofmy way. Yeah. That was fun.
• 1:49:04
  And I was in Spainand I was at a payphone trying to make a phonecall payphone. That's how abillion years ago this was.And my sister like had a friend and she's like,I'll call my friend. You're in Spain. And I'mlike, who knows where they were in Spain. I'mlike, I will call them. So I did. And like, it'sa funny, I know really funny, right? And thephone was just like beeping.
• 1:49:26
  It wasn't ringing.And I was like, is this busy sign in Spain or isit getting through? And I had taken off, youknow, as a student, so I would stay in hostelsand travel and get the rail tickets. And this isa trick because I was based in Rome. So this wasa trip to Barcelona and I had a cross body pursewith like everything in it, my license, creditcard, my student ID, my every, I slept with thisthing under my pillow. Like it was like a bodyappendage. And for some reason, it just happenedto everyone. You start doing something, you'relike half your brain's like, I shouldn't do this.I shouldn't do this. The other path is like, justdo it. Don't be such a freak.
• 1:50:04
  Yeah, calm down. SoI took it off and I put it on the like the ledgeof the payphone and my friend was shoulder toshoulder with me. And the strap was between usand the purse was like, Idon't know, like this big.And I'm listening and she's right there. And Idon't know how I don't know how, but I look downand the thing is gone. It's gone. No, they'repros over there. They are how though. They'rejust pros. They're pro pickpockets.
• 1:50:31
  I don't knowhow, but the fact that he moved this purse pastbetween our shoulders or between our head, like Ijust don't without either of us seeing. All Iknow is I'm listening to speed.
• 1:50:42
  I look down and Isee my purse is gone and I'm like, oh my God. Andshe didn't notice either. No, she didn't noticeeither. And I just like dropped the phone and Iscanned the crowd. We were near like a park area.I think people are like walking at the drinkingfountain, throwing balls, having picnics. And Isee one guy walking quickly and guys don't walkquickly. I just kind of lumber along. Yeah. Notin Spain. Not in Spain. It's all chill. It's allchill. And this guy's walking fast by himself.And I just ran. I didn't think if I thought Iprobably should have thought, but I didn't thinkI just ran after him. I jumped on his back. Ibrought my arms and legs around him. You did?Yes. Like a piggyback almost.
• 1:51:24
  Yes, exactly. Likethat. That's true. That's true. She's like, youdon't know who you just met.
• 1:51:30
  Oh my gosh, it was agentleman. Jumped on this guy. And I didn't seemy purse. I didn't know for sure. I just. Oh, youjust saw a guy walking fast and you're like, waita minute. But she's from Jersey. So you knew. Istarted this podcast saying I'm a Jersey girl.Yeah. A hundred percent. That makes sense. So youcan take the girl out of Jersey.
• 1:51:48
  But you know therest. Sorry, buddy. Yeah. And that's what I said.I said, nice try, buddy. Nice try. But like youstarted yelling at this guy.
• 1:51:57
  And then he screamedand he threw my purse. Oh my gosh. Oh, there itis. And then I like got off and then I and myfriend is just, could you imagine my friend'sreaction? She was just like what happened? Andthen after, then I was like shaking. I'm like,what did I do? That was so dangerous. Oh, that's,that's amazing. That's amazing. You did thatthough. That goes along with your, how you tacklelife though, I think.Through instinct and not thinking.Probably. No, but you find success. You findsuccess. You got your bag bag. Yeah. I got my bagbag. Could you imagine if you hadn't? That'shilarious. Could you imagine if it wasn't theguy? Oh, that's even better.You could not do that nowadays.
• 1:52:37
  No, you could.Yeah, absolutely. No, I don't think so. I thinkpeople know the same cowards that were doing thatshit. That's not a manly thing to do it. Not a,you know, yeah, I get, I don't know. Ridiculous.I don't know. I think it'd be pretty scary. So,and then did you have a situation in Californiawith someone I thought someone named Kim orsomething. Yeah, Kim. So Kim was who I becamereally close friends with through Bongo. Okay.Okay. That's your, that's your good friend. Andwas it something happening in California? Oh, sospeaking of Jersey girls, she and I, uh, were, wehad to, so there was a show for Bongo and we had,we were in LA and Kim and I were the models. Sowe had to, we, we were in the same hotel andwe're like, all right, let's go to the job and wehad to get gas. Yeah. So you know what they don'tdo in Jersey, right? Yeah.
• 1:53:28
  You don't pump yourown gas. You don't pump your own gas. Yeah. Andwe were living in New York, so we didn't havecars. So we didn't, and we'relike, what do you, what do we do?Was this the first time you'd ever been presentedwith up in your own gas? I think so. Oh my gosh.That's hilarious. And we were like, and we'rerunning late. It was behind.
• 1:53:46
  And so we wentinside to get coffee and I'm kind of like beinglike, I know it. Come on, Kim, let's go. Like,let's go relate. And she's just like, oh, and shestarts talking to the guy behind the counter. Andshe's like, so nice to him.
• 1:53:57
  How are you? Goodmorning. And I'm like, can we just get $20 onnumber four? You know, I'm trying to get goingand relate and she's just smiling. Like, and sowe, I get my coffee, we get in the car, we driveaway. And then we start driving and I'm like, didyou pump the gas? Oh my gosh.
• 1:54:15
  She's like, did youpump? I'm like, we didn't pump the gas. We didn'tpump the gas. Who pumped it?
• 1:54:19
  Nobody pumped thegas. We had to go back. We had to go back. Andsure enough, he was so nice.
• 1:54:25
  Why? Because niceKim, instead of, you know, bitchy running late,Mary, you know, and she's like, Oh, we paid, butwe didn't actually pump.
• 1:54:36
  Then he's like, noproblem. You know, he remembered her. Her. He waslike, he was like, I remember you. You're nice.Oh, your friend is smiling.
• 1:54:42
  I'll cover this.Yeah. Nice one. And I learned from her. I'm like,I, you know, you gotta, yeah.
• 1:54:46
  Yeah. Don't be arush. And yes. Yes. Yes. But that is funny. Youguys both your first experienceand neither one of you did it.We paid more, but that's about it. You know, it'sJersey and Oregon are the only two states. Oregonis that way too. No, we, I didn't pump gas. Oh,that's great. Yeah. And then all of a sudden wemoved to Michigan. I think that's the first timeand it was completely foreign.
• 1:55:10
  I didn't know whatI was doing. So now I just bring a bunch ofantibacterial gel with me everywhere. Now we goback to Jersey and we had, we were there a coupleof summers ago and the guy pumps our gas and I'mlike, do we tip them? Right.
• 1:55:24
  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, we should tip them.Right. It feels unnatural now. Yeah. Totally. Uh,and was there something, I feel like there wassomething that happened back, um, when you were17 with your dad and, uh, like a confrontationwith like someone that wasinappropriate or. Oh God.Oh, she tapped that one out.Yeah. Did you tap that one out? Yeah.Yeah. That one was bad. That was like, yeah, Iwas 17. I was a lifeguard and like, there wassomebody who like a creepy dad that was like kindof, I guess hitting on me, but I didn't reallyknow he was hitting on me.
• 1:56:05
  Like a middle ageddude. Only 17. Yeah. I had a little kids therewhenever. And he ended up writing me a letter,like a 10 page, like double sided letter. Did he,did he come to the pool a lot? Yeah. Yeah.And, uh, and I guess my mom saw this letter andwas like, what the fuck is this? You know, my momlike opened it and like looked at it and theywere like, okay. So is this a dad that would cometo the pool every day with his kids? Yeah. Oh myGod. And then was it like mid season? He gave youthis letter. I don't even remember. And maybe itwas the end. Maybe I was like going to collegeand it was the end of the summer. I was like, Idon't know what it was. Did your dad, I don'teven think I read the thing.
• 1:56:46
  I was just like,what is this? You know, did your dad confronthim? No. So it was interesting.
• 1:56:50
  Cause I thoughtmy dad would like go crazy, but my dad was soeven keel and like a gentleman and, um, they, myparents said, you have, we're going to give youthe opportunity to deal with this. And if youdon't deal with it, then we're going to deal withit. And, um, I was like, Oh my God, don't sayanything. This is so embarrassing.
• 1:57:12
  You know, likethe last thing, you know, it was, it was just acreepy, weird, embarrassing situation in generalall around. And so I'm like, all right, I'll saysomething. I'll say something.
• 1:57:21
  I'll saysomething. And, um, my parents came to the pooland they're like, it was like, they're eatingpizza, they're having dinner and like watching,watching, watching, yeah, yeah. Waiting for me togo and say like, yo, this is totallyinappropriate. And wow. Yeah.
• 1:57:36
  And did you know, Ithink that's, I mean, that's a lot to ask of a 17year old, but you know what, I think it was theright thing for them to do.
• 1:57:48
  And I wish I wouldhave done it. I just, I think it's like I wasprocrastinating and procrastinating andprocrastinating. I wasnervous. I'm like, you know, I was 17.I'm basically going to go up to somebody and belike, you're a pervert. Yeah.
• 1:58:00
  Yeah. You know, youwrote me this letter and you shouldn't havewhatever. And so I didn't do it. And then, um,next thing I know my dad's standing there talkingto this guy and. And it was done. Yeah. I don'tblame your dad. I, your dad had a lot of patienceto give you that opportunity.
• 1:58:16
  A lot of pain. Iknow. Maybe my mom had. I was going to say, doyou think your mom talked him into that approach?My mom probably did because, you know, as Ibecame older and an adult, I knew my dad more asan adult. Yeah. He for sure would have saidsomething. He would have said something. Oh yeah.You think about that though.
• 1:58:31
  My mom back thenthat was before the internet, before socialmedia. Yeah. So, um, think about how easy it isnow for men like that to send stuff like, likedigitally to young girls.
• 1:58:42
  If this guy felt sobrazen, had all the audacity to send, give you a10 page letter to your house, those are the typeof guys that are preying on underage girls on theinternet. And there's so many of them. Well,these are the same guys who meet a federal agentat an airport thinking it's a 13 year old girl.Yeah. That's who he is. Yeah.
• 1:59:06
  No, it's crazythough that it's, I think there's way more menlike that than we even comprehend. A hundredpercent. Yeah. Was that your only experience witha situation like that? Cause you were out theremodeling and, and you know, it probably insituations, maybe with some unsavory people,would you say that was the worst situation? Yeah.And probably after that, it helped you be alittle more on guard too.Maybe. I think so, but I, yeah, I, I think so. Ithink I tend to be a little more, um, I thinkeveryone's nice, you know, but I think living inNew York wisened me up a little bit, but then,you know, being down here, I just feel like thatkind of went away. Yeah.
• 1:59:54
  Cause now I'm like asoft, gentler version, you know, and I just, Idon't know. But no, but if it was your daughter,that'd be different. That's where it switches tothem. Yeah. It does switch.
• 2:00:06
  Right. You know,where it's like about our kids. No, you're right.I think it goes on a lot more than we think. AndI have to be aware of it.
• 2:00:11
  It's just something youdon't like to think about, but it's a harshreality and it's something you gotta be aware of.No, it's one of the reasons when my kids get allof them would get social media. I would get thatsocial media and they would have to be friendswith me to have it so that I can just at leasthave an idea what's going on. Not that I knoweverything, but just to be connected to some way,cause it's so easy to hide things right now. It'sso scary. So I do have to ask you because we'rein a similar age bracket here. Um, touching onthe topic of perimenopause and menopause.Have you gone through any of that yet?Not to my knowledge or had any symptoms. Do youthink? I don't think so. And do you know if yourmom, did she ever talk to you about it?Um, my, my, I just remember my mom telling melike she's so hot. Oh my God. It's so hot inhere. Hot. Yeah. And that was like in herfifties. I think that's what all of our momswould say. Yeah. There's just hot. That's all Ireally remember. I don't remember anything like.Nothing else going on and on or anything likethat. No, there was no discussion of it. No, theydidn't know. Not really.
• 2:01:22
  I mean, it's justalways. Yeah. No, that was it. Just that she washot. Yeah. And that was it.
• 2:01:27
  That's why the airset for 40 degrees right now.
• 2:01:30
  Yeah. No, I'm justkidding. No, but I think that one thing I thinkGen X women are doing is bringing the discussionof menopause, premenopause to light out in theopen and also for the younger generations ofwomen, because it's just as big of a shift aspuberty was for us. And puberty is talked aboutin school. Even young boys know to some extentwhat girls go through. Get to get their periodand physically they know.
• 2:01:56
  Oh yeah. Um, butmenopause is not really talked about. And there'swomen out there that are suffering becausethere's so many symptoms, um, they, and if youdon't understand what's going on, you could feellike you're starting to go crazy. And a lot ofwomen through their forties, as they hitperimenopause into their fifties suffer becauseof that lack of communication.
• 2:02:19
  When you say theyfeel like they're going crazy, do you, do youmean like psychological symptoms? They'repsychological symptoms. I mean, other than thebrain fog and, um, the temperature, the hotflashes, the unexplained 20 pound weight gain,especially around your middle, um, the thinningof the hair, um, the muscle, eggs, frozenshoulder. Um, but then also not being able to geta word grasp a word, which could be related tobrain fog too, but go to say something and you,you know, that word, but you're like, I don'tknow what that word is. I'm trying to say I cansee that word. Um, but then.
• 2:02:52
  Emotional ups anddowns because of hormones because of the drop inestrogen. Um, and there's a, and there's so muchmore, like there's like a hundred symptoms. Uh,and then the family, a lot of times the partner,if she's married, has no idea what's going on, alot of times she doesn't know what's going on.And, um, there's a lot of divorces that happen.There's a lot of women that, um, commit suicide.And so, um, I think it's on Gen X women to talkabout it so that millennial women and Gen Zwomen, by the time they get there, becausedoctors really, OBS don't really give it. It'sjust do it's more like, uh, yeah, workout, eatbetter. And that's not what it is. Um, there aredoctors who will offer HRT, um, to help, but it'sjust this subject for women that's been largelyignored and women are suffering. So it'ssomething that when I have someone on who'saround that age, I bring the subject up just tosee, and you aren't experiencing it yet, so youcan't speak to it. Yeah. But, um, as you're outthere living life, you know, if you encounter, ifthat you start to have those experiences and notall women feel it, there are women who go throughit and they don't have that.
• 2:04:19
  They went throughthe shift. I've, I know women are like, I didn't,like, I didn't feel anything.
• 2:04:24
  Now you are still,you're younger than me by Ithink three years. I'm 54.Yeah. Four years. So it could still be there.That's going to happen. But if it does talk aboutit, you know what I mean?
• 2:04:39
  Talk about with otherwomen, we have to start and, and with ourdaughters too, we need to talk about when you hitthis point in your life, these are the potentialchanges that can happen. I think it's importantthat we're part of that shift. So, andcongratulations on not having any issues yet.But a lot of that could also be due to yourlifestyle. You live a very healthy lifestyle. Ido think diet and exercise has a lot to do withsupporting women through that and a lot of women,um, you know, are not on a good diet or exerciseregularly. So I think that's, you've been a veryclean eater for the whole time. I've known you.Yeah, it's interesting. I had, um, a raging boutof, um, eczema, which I've never ever hadanything like that in my life and I had it. It'sa symptom just saying it.
• 2:05:30
  Oh, it is. Well, butI'm not saying it's related to that, but it is asymptom. I don't like, I could see that because Ithink everything gets more sluggish, includingyour liver. And I think this was a liver issuethat I had to like clean up my liver. And I endedup, um, I guess cleaning up my diet, althoughI've always. You eat really well. Yeah. I eat, Ieat a balanced diet. I'll say I eat everything.There's something I don't really eat. Um, but Idon't, I think I eat pretty well. And you'venever been a big, uh, you don't consume a lot ofalcohol, I don't think. Right.
• 2:06:02
  Since I've knownyou, I don't think you're a big drinker. I'm nota big drinker. I mean, I guess I'm a casualsocial. Yeah. Um, but when I had my, ooh, sorry,I had my eczema. I think that, um, that is, thatwas something that I cut down on a lot. Alcohol.Yeah. Alcohol like, oh, I have wine, cookingdinner. Oh, I have wine with it. And I, there's alot of crap in wine. There is like, there justis, I thought that wine was like, oh, it'sgrapes. And it's fermented those alcohol. There'slike food coloring in it.
• 2:06:31
  There's added sugar.There can be whey in it. Like WHEY, there's somuch crap in wine. You really, I mean, nowthere's organic wines and things, but, um, Ithink that there was like, you think you're justhaving a glass of wine and they're actuallyputting a bunch of horrible crap in your bodythat you would never opt for. Yeah. Um, andthat's why I think that it helps with my eczema.Really stopped drinking wine basically, um, for awhile. And then I'll, yeah, yeah, totally clearedup. Um, and now I'll drink wine again, but, um,not, yeah, I'm not, I wouldn't say I'm a bigdrink or anything like that.
• 2:07:04
  No, no, no. Have younoticed as you've gotten older, your reaction toalcohol is stronger. Like, have you ever, do youget hungover? Have you ever gotten hungover?Yeah. But I, I think when I had that eczema, myliver was burdened with just too many things.And, um, I would notice then that I would feelhorrible after just one glass of wine or after,you know, and then after I stopped really, andjust cleared all that out and cleared out myliver and cleared out the eczema, um, now mytolerance is much higher because I don't, it'snot, it's the kind of the opposite way you thinkit would have worked. Like you think if you don'tdrink that much, you'd, you'd have a low, Iguess, I guess what I'm saying is my tolerancefor being hungover or feeling bad, you know, anddoesn't make me feel bad because I think I'vecleaned up the liver. I really think it's aboutthe liver. I've cleaned up the liver and so I canprocess this stuff because as soon as you drink,it's going to your liver.
• 2:07:57
  Yeah, yeah. 100%.That's getting worse. Well, you're the one thatintroduced me to celery juice. Yay. And that'sstill as I, every morning, that's life changing.That's medical medium, Anthony Williams. I'llnever forget when you told me about that. Thatwas probably like three years ago, I think. Whenyou think it was more than that, was it, was itbefore COVID and that, and I noticed when I don'tdrink celery juice that day, I noticed, I got toget back into it. I stopped because my eczemawent away. It's when I got lazy, but it's so goodand it's, it's what you put in your body is soimportant. We actually, we were out of town lastweekend and she brought celery juice. I made itand I put it in sealed jars and I had it becauseI have it in the morning. I take my thyroid medsand then I have to wait like 45 minutes to anhour. And then I have my celery juice on an emptystomach. You're committed.
• 2:08:44
  Yeah. Changing, right?It's, it's life changing. I would say like, causeyou've shared a lot of good health stuff with me.And that one is one that I am so grateful forbecause it's, it's life changing.
• 2:08:54
  I can't, I wisheveryone knew about celery juice, you know, andat Costco, it's back organic.
• 2:09:00
  I wish we couldgrow it more easily, Dr. I know. It is tough togrow. It is. Costco, yeah.
• 2:09:06
  Has the pre trimmedbulk organic. It's the best.
• 2:09:09
  It's the best. Doyou do it too, Brian? No, he did. He did. Andthen you stopped. A while.
• 2:09:16
  You did for a while. Itypically fast in the morning. Idon't usually eat till probably noon.So I'm just, I can't do that.
• 2:09:27
  Well, that was oneof the medical mediums tips not to fast so much,but as soon as you consume fat, your liver stopsdetoxing, your liver's detoxing during the nightwhere you're sleeping. And then as soon as youconsume fat, it has to start making bile. So it'sworking hard to make this bile to digest the fat.So if you can at least from medical medium,Anthony William says in one of his books, if youcan not eat fat until if you're trying to detoxuntil 11 or 12 and you're giving your liver thoseextra hours, like if you just have fruit or, youknow, you avoid any eat, but avoid something withfat. That makes sense. That's a good little justway to kind of extend the, um, the detoxing ofyour, that your liver has been doing through thatnight. Now, do you stop eatingat a certain time of the day? No.So you'll just see, no. And actually I'll eatwhenever. Okay. See, I can't, I have to grabstuff. I'm kind of bad. Like, and I'll just, areyou just like a grazer? Yes.
• 2:10:21
  It's, it's, I'dswear that I sit down and like meal time. Yeah.Yeah. I have to stop. I have trouble sleeping ifI eat too late. Cause my stomach's still workingor whatever. I needed to stop at a certain time.So, but that celery juice, I, for anyonelistening, it's life changing.
• 2:10:38
  Check out medicalmedium, Anthony Williams.
• 2:10:40
  But honestly, I justdrink 16 ounces of celery juice every morning andit heals your gut, it, oh, it's so good for yourgut. Um, if you're dealing with constipation, itwill fix that immediately.Um, it's just, and you just feel your brain feelscleaner because the gut and the brain areconnected. And it helps keep all of that. I don'tknow. I swear by it. So I can't thank you enoughfor that. You're getting me back on a now. CauseI know it's, and I think you even recommendedthe, um, the juicer, which I can't remember now,which one Hamilton maybe, I don't know. I don'tknow. I probably sent you the link of the one Igot on Amazon. Yeah. Like a cheap one. That's atrick. I'll put a link. We should put a link intothe juicer. Cause we've had it. Like badplastics. You got to get like a good one. Oh,mine might have that positive.
• 2:11:26
  No, I PA free, butthat's it. That's what you need. Yeah. Yeah.Yeah. But, um, our juicer is legit. Well, if youtold me about it before COVID we're going on overprobably five years, we've had that juice. Sousing it almost every morning, we'll put the linkin for sure. Cause that, um, that's user. Ihighly recommend. So I may start again. So youshould, you were drinking it with me and then youstopped. You thought it maybe raised your sugarsor something. Like it did.
• 2:11:52
  Like I'd get a slightsugar rush in the morning, but I don't know ifthat was necessarily bad or not. I don't know. Idon't know if that's a story.
• 2:12:01
  No, no, it doesn'tknow. Maybe that was just like a euphoric.That's what it was. My gut, my liver sing. Yeah.Before I asked my last question, did you haveanything we covered at all?
• 2:12:15
  Yeah. So where do yousee yourself in five years?Five years. Oh my God. Should I make it an evensix and go two years, two years, two years? Yeah,exactly. Exactly. That's what I'm calculatingnow. I'm like, hmm, like gives me time to dowhat? Throwing off her whole system.It's an odd number.I don't do odd number sickle.
• 2:12:36
  Um, that's sofunny. Um, I don't know five years. Oh my God.Oh, well, something I have been thinking aboutis, um, is, uh, to be an ND, to be an atropathicdoctor. I think that would be really cool. Andthere's no school in Florida.
• 2:12:53
  So, um, in a coupleof years, my daughter will graduate high school.So it could be an opportunity for me to go andget that degree wherever it, I think there's onein, um, Arizona. There's one in Chicago and acouple of other places. I think Arizona soundsmost appealing, but that's just something I'vethought about. You know, I don't really know. Um,if that's actually two NDs that I was justtalking to the other day or like, I would notrecommend going to ND school.
• 2:13:22
  Like you learn somuch more doing kind of the thing I'm doing withthe homeopathy and having a one-on-one teacherand learning, like really dialing into the thingsthat you're interested in.
• 2:13:29
  Um, so we'll see, butthat's something that's on my reader. That'sexciting. It's interesting.
• 2:13:34
  There isn't a lot ofND schools though. I mean, do you know how manythere are in the country?
• 2:13:39
  Well, I can tell you inFlorida and ND, you're not even considered a,that's not considered a doctor. You're not adoctor. Like in other States, you can be called adoctor if you're, it's four years of medicalschool, but it's just, you're studying differentthings. You're not studying the pharmacologicalaspect as much, even though I think they do dipin that your herbs and homeopathy and nutritionand different things. Right.
• 2:14:00
  Right. But inFlorida, you can't be called a doctor. Is thatcommon in a lot of the States? I think so. Ithink more, more, I looked it up fairly recently.I think that, yeah, maybe it's like half andhalf, but I feel like there's more that don'tthan do. Um, and that's something that I wouldlove to see changed in Florida.
• 2:14:21
  100%, 100%. Justgives people more options.
• 2:14:24
  Absolutely.Absolutely. I think that's a great goal. It's anexciting goal and involves, uh, some travel,maybe a move, change, you know? So would you everconsider living in Jersey again? Is that even,it's not appealing to me. You know, I have to saynow that I've been in Florida, I love being nearthe ocean and I love the warm weather. So, youknow, it snowed there this morning. Yes. In NewJersey. It did. Yeah. Yeah.
• 2:14:51
  I didn't hear that.Yeah. My cousin sent us a picture. It's snowedand where in Northwest New Jersey and Sparta. Iactually got a text from a friend in Boston. Itsnowed in Boston this morning.
• 2:15:04
  Oh, wow. Wow.That's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. It snowed, Ithink once in April when we lived there. And Ialways remember maybe March, but never it wasearly. It was like April 2nd or something. Thisis late. This is very late.
• 2:15:17
  Like it's snow. Yeah,no, it's crazy. Well, that's like him. He, hedoesn't even want to go back ever. Like not evento visit. He's once he left, he just, well, eversince COVID to New York, it just isn't New Yorkinside. The appeal there isn't really veryattractive either. I used to love New York, but Idon't, there's not much of a draw. I thinkthere's hope it'll get back.
• 2:15:40
  I think it'll getback to, I don't know, maybe not Giuliani days,but I think it'll get better.
• 2:15:45
  I have hope. I liketo go to New Jersey at the shore, you know, inthe summer, in the summer, there's nothing likethe Jersey shore that's always going to have ahuge place in my heart. Yeah.
• 2:15:54
  And it's just LongBeach Island in particular.
• 2:15:57
  Yeah, LBI's. LBI,you're just in flip flops.
• 2:15:59
  It's so cash.Everyone's, it's just so, it's for me that, well,because that's where my parents lived also thelast 20 years of their life where I'd go back.It's just like, for me, that feels like home.Smells like home. Feels like home. Yeah. Are yoursiblings still there? My brother's living in thehouse. That was my parents.
• 2:16:13
  Okay. Yeah. So.Do you have any siblings down here? I have twosisters in St. Augustine.
• 2:16:19
  Oh, okay. Yeah. Sothey're a couple hours drive away. We were justthere. Yeah. We love St.
• 2:16:23
  Augustine. Beautiful.Yeah. That's become our new favorite place. Yeah.We've gone twice this year.
• 2:16:28
  Yeah. It's so pretty,right? It's beautiful. Yeah.
• 2:16:30
  We walked, I thinkover 40, almost 40 miles over three days. Really?Yeah. There's so much going on there. And we werestaying in old, you know, the area by the fort. Alittle bit. Yeah. Yeah. So we were staying rightthere and we were going out to the amphitheater.So it's a three mile walk one way. If you godirect, and then on our way back, we meanderedthrough neighborhoods and stuff. And that'sawesome town. Yeah, it is.
• 2:16:55
  It's cool. They have,it's really cool. Yeah. They have everything.They have the, the beach situation. They havelike a whole art kind of thing. They have thehistorical thing. They have a lot going on there.No, that's cool. They just don't have late nightfood and they need late night food. So really?Yeah. If they're like nine, there's nowhere togo. Yeah. It's interesting.
• 2:17:15
  And we're not reallydrinking a lot anymore. So the, there are barsopen, but we don't, we don't really drink a lotanymore. So we're like, wow, I guess. What do wedo now? Yeah. This is what people that don'tdrink a lot. What do they do? You order foodearly. So it's in your hotel.
• 2:17:28
  We learned, but welove St. Augustine. Well, I think that's a greatgoal. I honestly do. And I think it goes in linewith the theme of your life of adventure, notbeing scared. Not saying no until someone tellsyou no. I love that. That's such a great, I hopeour listeners hear that.
• 2:17:49
  Don't tell yourself no.Let someone else tell you no. It's veryliberating. It's great lesson. And, um, I'mexcited for you in this new chapter of your lifewith everything that you're taking on and withyour new home. Um, I, I'm just think it's goingto be amazing. You know, you're really hitting aprime, I think. Yeah. It feels like that. Itfeels really good. Yeah. It's fun. It's exciting.And, uh, yeah, I'm pumped up about it. Thank you.Yeah. And there's hope for women. Definitelyafter a divorce, there's a whole new life afterdivorce. Definitely. You know, and that's becausefor some people, they may not be able to see thatright now, but once you get through it, there's anew beginning. Yeah. And it was, these are neverfun, but I think a good tidbit was acollaborative. Go collaborative if you can. Yes.Get it over done quickly.
• 2:18:36
  That was great advice.Yeah. Go do don't tell yourself, no, go forwardand fight the imposter syndrome.
• 2:18:42
  Yeah. You know,that didn't last long. And, and I think everybodyhas that at some point, but once you get overthat and then you kind of realize it's okay to benew at something, it's okay to not knoweverything about, you know, and you just like,let go of ego. Yeah. Cause it's ego that makesyou feel like you need to know everything. Yeah.And once you let go of that and are like finebeing like, I don't know. Can you tell me? Yeah.Or I need to learn. Or just judging yourself.Yes. We're the worst. The worst. We're the worston ourselves. So, but thank you for sharing yourstory. Thanks for listening.
• 2:19:16
  Yeah, very cool.It's fascinating all the things you've done andhow courageous you've been through it all andespecially considering, you know, you came from aquote unquote strict family, but that didn't stopyou either. You know, you right away, we're kindof blazing your own path and continue to do so,so I'm very impressed. So thank you. Thank youfor sharing your story.
• 2:19:40
  And I think youdefinitely have inspired some people out there. Iknow there's some listeners that can relate tosome of what you said. So, and they'll resonatewith them. So thank you. And, and hopefully we'llhave you back. And well, I don't know if you'rein Arizona, maybe you'll fly back in five years.That'll be in five. So we'll see. I don't know. Ifirst, I gotta get my, maybe you guys can help mewith my social and all this stuff. Get this stuffgoing. For sure. For sure.
• 2:20:03
  Get yourself overthere. I actually thought of some ideas we'lltalk. Yeah. Yeah. I did.
• 2:20:06
  Yeah. I think there's alot I honestly can see you having like almostlike a health center where like, cause holisticmedicine, it's, it becomes a practice that hasmultiple tentacles that I think, right? There's alot of, a lot involved and it all ties together.Even the yoga, do that or not. But yeah, thetapping and all of that. I think you have suchpotential to help so many people. So in thatrespect, you got to get yourself out there. Thatstuff is fun. There's so much to learn and it'sjust, it's fun for me. So yeah, I'm going to keepdoing it. Yes, exactly. So, and thank you to ourlisteners. Um, as always, please leave us anyquestions or comments and wewill see you next time. Bye.(Music)