Latest / Magic Divorce Club Podcast / Ep 8: Should You Even Get a Divorce?

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Ep 8: Should You Even Get a Divorce? · Magic Divorce Club Podcast

0:01
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Magic Divorce Club podcast.
0:05
This is your space to successfully navigate your divorce with
0:10
confidence and create
0:11
SPEAKER_00: a roadmap to the life of your dreams.
0:15
SPEAKER_00: I'm your host Hannah Harvey,
0:16
I'm the author of How To Divorce Sober and I have helped
0:20
thousands of women to
0:21
SPEAKER_00: process the trauma of divorce and step into an exciting future.
0:27
Please like and subscribe because this really helps my little
0:31
podcast to grow and
0:33
if you would like more from me you can subscribe at
0:36
magicdivorceclub.substack.com
0:40
SPEAKER_00: for a host of other support tools.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to the Magic Divorce Club.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: It's me, Hannah.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: How are you?
0:53
SPEAKER_00: It has been a little while.
0:56
I've taken a little break over the summer and I'm back with a
1:02
new season of the
1:03
SPEAKER_00: Magic Divorce Club podcast.
1:06
So to kind of get into this next season,
1:11
I've decided to kind of take it back to the beginning.
1:15
because me just telling you about my story now might not be
1:20
that helpful.
1:21
It might give you a bit of an idea that there's light at the
1:25
end of the tunnel,
1:26
SPEAKER_00: but that doesn't necessarily help you right now.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I've had an interesting summer.
1:35
There's been all sorts of things going on that are relevant and
1:37
will be of interest
1:38
in terms of co-parenting and just managing summer holidays when
1:45
you're a single
1:46
SPEAKER_00: parent.
1:48
And things like,
1:50
you know,
1:51
not having them for a stretch of time and then having them
1:54
intensely.
1:55
There's all,
1:56
you know,
1:56
there's still a lot to manage even after your divorce.
2:00
SPEAKER_00: But right now you're going through it and you're in the thick of it.
2:04
So what I really wanted to talk about today is like literally
2:08
going back to the beginning.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: And should you even get a divorce?
2:16
that tricky old nugget of something I imagine you have thought
2:24
very long and hard
2:25
about and you have not stumbled across this lightly like I'm
2:31
sure that you have
2:32
SPEAKER_00: tried all of the things and now you're at a point where you're going like
2:40
SPEAKER_00: I don't know,
2:41
maybe you found me because you're still in a relationship but
2:44
you're really
2:45
SPEAKER_00: wondering what you should do next and if you should leave.
2:49
Maybe you're separated but you haven't quite decided if you
2:54
should get a divorce or
2:56
maybe you're like fantasizing about what your life could be
2:59
like if you weren't in
3:01
SPEAKER_00: your current relationship.
3:03
SPEAKER_00: So
3:04
Yeah it's a really really difficult one and obviously only you
3:11
can answer this but
3:13
I thought it would be helpful for me to kind of go through the
3:18
different decisions
3:19
that I kind of ended up making and why I made them and that
3:23
kind of thing.
3:24
So yeah there was a lot of like before we actually split up
3:28
there was a lot of kind of
3:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm not fully happy.
3:32
I didn't understand why I was always kind of searching for
3:36
answers and wondering
3:39
SPEAKER_00: why I wasn't happy with what I had.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: And honestly, love wasn't the problem.
3:46
SPEAKER_00: I loved my ex-husband and even when I left, I did.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: But our issue, which may well be different to yours, was alcohol.
3:59
so you know that there were it was a problem in our marriage
4:05
and it was leading to
4:08
some really tricky things for me to manage um as the wife and
4:15
trying to protect the
4:16
kids that yeah I was starting to feel like I was losing myself
4:23
to that whole
4:24
SPEAKER_00: process um
4:27
SPEAKER_00: But,
4:28
SPEAKER_00: you know,
4:28
SPEAKER_00: it doesn't have to be some,
4:30
SPEAKER_00: like,
4:30
SPEAKER_00: big dramatic thing for you to be thinking,
4:33
SPEAKER_00: I really,
4:33
SPEAKER_00: I'm not happy anymore and I want to leave.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: Like,
4:37
perhaps you and your partner haven't been intimate for a really
4:40
long time and
4:41
SPEAKER_00: you're like,
4:44
SPEAKER_00: maybe you don't even want to.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
4:46
SPEAKER_00: That's fine.
4:48
Perhaps you or your partner has cheated and one or the other of
4:54
you can't get over that.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
4:57
SPEAKER_00: You know, that's okay if you feel like that.
5:01
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have like hopes and dreams.
5:05
You know,
5:05
we're getting to a certain age now where midlife crisis is a
5:10
cliche for a reason.
5:11
SPEAKER_00: And it's because we get to a certain age and we're like,
5:15
SPEAKER_00: oh,
5:16
do you remember when I wanted to be a tightrope walker or
5:19
whatever it was?
5:20
SPEAKER_00: You know, write that book or do this in your career.
5:25
SPEAKER_00: You know,
5:27
Magic Divorce Club is mainly aimed at women so when we have
5:33
kids or we get married
5:35
or we put our partner's career ahead of our own hopes and
5:39
dreams it can feel like
5:41
everything gets that is yours that's important to you gets
5:45
pushed to the bottom of
5:46
the pile and maybe you feel like they'll never get resurrected
5:51
whilst you're with
5:52
SPEAKER_00: this partner and
5:54
Maybe you love your partner so much that you are neglecting
6:00
your own needs because
6:01
SPEAKER_00: theirs are so big and so loud.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: And that's a struggle.
6:09
Maybe you're having panic attacks that you can't fully explain
6:15
or understand properly.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: You know,
6:18
you might be really fearful of feeling really trapped within
6:22
the relationship and
6:23
you can't see a way out and so that's causing panic attacks or
6:27
other things like
6:27
SPEAKER_00: that.
6:29
Maybe you have lots of secrets within your relationship and
6:34
you're scared to talk
6:35
SPEAKER_00: to anyone else in case they're really,
6:37
really bad or you believe they are and that's going to put you
6:41
in a worse position
6:42
SPEAKER_00: than you are now.
6:45
SPEAKER_00: That's a familiar one for me.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: When you're dealing with things like drugs and alcohol,
6:51
stuff happens that you kind of feel like you need to hide from
6:57
other people because
6:58
SPEAKER_00: you don't want them judging you.
7:00
The team is the marriage and so you're going to protect that
7:06
with everything you
7:07
SPEAKER_00: have,
7:08
even if it means losing yourself and losing yourself to shame
7:12
because that is what
7:13
SPEAKER_00: happens when we have big secrets.
7:16
um yeah maybe you feel trapped emotionally or financially like
7:22
you can't leave
7:23
because you're you don't really know anything about the
7:26
finances or yeah all sorts
7:30
of different you know obviously when we tip into things like
7:33
domestic abuse and you
7:34
SPEAKER_00: feel like you can't leave because of you know physical threat um
7:40
SPEAKER_00: You need to tread obviously very carefully,
7:42
but there is support out there and you can Google your local
7:47
domestic abuse support
7:48
SPEAKER_00: to give you the help you need before you even leave.
7:52
SPEAKER_00: And I highly recommend you do that if you are in that situation.
7:58
um yeah the next one is about that it's like perhaps you're
8:02
scared of what your
8:03
partner will do or how they will react if you leave so again
8:07
get that support
8:08
before like no one's going to find out you can discreetly go
8:13
and meet people and
8:15
SPEAKER_00: get their support so that you can leave
8:20
It might be that you have tried everything,
8:24
therapy,
8:25
reaching out to your family for support.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've tried bumping up the dating,
8:32
SPEAKER_00: you know,
8:32
your dating life so that you're spending more quality time
8:35
together and trying to
8:37
SPEAKER_00: reconnect with your partner.
8:40
SPEAKER_00: And it's just still not really working.
8:45
I remember that feeling of being like just kind of going around
8:48
in circles and
8:50
SPEAKER_00: So,
8:52
SPEAKER_00: you know,
8:52
SPEAKER_00: you try something,
8:54
SPEAKER_00: you make promises to each other,
8:56
and then it's just a matter of time before it comes full circle
8:59
back to where you
9:00
SPEAKER_00: were again.
9:00
SPEAKER_00: And that can feel really hard because each time you're like,
9:04
SPEAKER_00: come on,
9:04
SPEAKER_00: this is the time,
9:05
SPEAKER_00: this is the time.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, it's not the time.
9:10
That can be really demoralizing and it can really knock your
9:13
confidence to the
9:14
SPEAKER_00: point where you're like,
9:16
SPEAKER_00: what even is there for me if I do leave?
9:21
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you just don't love them anymore.
9:25
SPEAKER_00: That's allowed.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: You're allowed to feel differently and want to move on.
9:32
But it's so crucial that you communicate properly about this
9:38
and about any of it,
9:39
really.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: I think the hardest thing in leaving is the communication.
9:43
And I'll talk more about this next week because I want to talk
9:47
about what to do
9:49
SPEAKER_00: next if you are going to leave.
9:54
but yeah if your feelings have changed to a point where you
9:59
don't love them anymore
10:00
it is important that this starts to get communicated because
10:05
you know we've got our
10:06
whole lives ahead of us and we need to kind of set each other
10:11
free I guess
10:13
Um,
10:15
maybe you feel like you don't know who you are anymore and that
10:18
you're numb.
10:20
SPEAKER_00: Um, you feel unlovable.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: I remember I used to feel like the best thing about me was my partner.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: Uh...
10:31
SPEAKER_00: So I was like,
10:32
I can't leave because then people will realise that I'm really
10:35
not interesting or,
10:36
SPEAKER_00: yeah,
10:38
SPEAKER_00: there's nothing about me.
10:39
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, he's the interesting one.
10:42
SPEAKER_00: He's the one that everybody loves.
10:44
SPEAKER_00: So I can't leave because nobody else is going to want me.
10:49
SPEAKER_00: But really,
10:50
SPEAKER_00: that was like signs of depression,
10:51
SPEAKER_00: basically,
10:52
SPEAKER_00: and feeling very numb and very,
10:55
SPEAKER_00: like,
10:56
SPEAKER_00: just low about my own self-esteem and
11:01
SPEAKER_00: So there is work to do there.
11:03
And I want you to know that when you do the work,
11:06
there is light on the other side of that.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: There's just a few shadows to navigate along the way.
11:11
But I know for a fact that you,
11:17
the best thing about you is not your partner.
11:20
It is not your ex or the person you're currently with if you're
11:25
still with them.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: The best thing about you is you.
11:28
SPEAKER_00: 100% guaranteed.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: And if you need help working out what that is, you give me a ring, okay?
11:35
Send me an email,
11:36
hannah at hannahharvey.uk and we will find that thing,
11:41
I promise you.
11:43
And then the final thing I've got here is like a reason as to
11:46
why you might want to leave.
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SPEAKER_00: And obviously this is not an exhaustive list.
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SPEAKER_00: This is like things off the top of my head and speaking to,
11:55
SPEAKER_00: you know,
11:55
SPEAKER_00: my clients,
11:56
SPEAKER_00: that kind of thing.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: But yeah,
11:58
the last one is that you feel like your partner is neglecting
12:02
you and not willing
12:03
SPEAKER_00: to try.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: And, you know...
12:09
Like they're all valid reasons and you also don't really need a
12:13
reason beyond
12:14
SPEAKER_00: you're just not,
12:16
SPEAKER_00: you're not happy anymore.
12:19
SPEAKER_00: That's okay too.
12:20
But I guess I would ultimately say to get really real with
12:29
yourself and ask
12:31
SPEAKER_00: yourself these three questions.
12:34
SPEAKER_00: One, are you still in love?
12:38
Do you still love this person in a romantic way enough to want
12:45
to keep going?
12:47
SPEAKER_00: And if the answer is no, then you have your answer.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: If the answer is yes,
12:52
SPEAKER_00: I would then go on to say,
12:54
SPEAKER_00: have you tried everything you possibly can to save the marriage?
13:00
SPEAKER_00: Like, have you tried the counselling?
13:02
SPEAKER_00: Have you tried, you know...
13:07
rekindling intimacy and spending quality time together and I
13:12
know it's impossible
13:14
when we have little kids and stuff like that around but making
13:19
that time you know
13:22
we can't really expect to have great relationships with people
13:25
that we're just
13:26
passing ships in the night and you know sleep deprived and
13:32
don't really have
13:32
SPEAKER_00: anything in common with anymore like
13:36
SPEAKER_00: We need to have that quality time.
13:38
And if you think about the five love languages,
13:42
that's a really good thing to look into.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: I'll put it in the show notes.
13:47
But if you look into the five love languages and get your
13:51
partner to take the test
13:53
SPEAKER_00: and you take the test,
13:54
SPEAKER_00: you'll find out what their key way to be loved is.
14:00
And that could be really like a breakthrough moment for you
14:05
guys to kind of
14:07
SPEAKER_00: understand what is it they need from you and vice versa to feel loved.
14:11
Because sometimes it's just a miscommunication in the way you
14:14
want to love each other.
14:17
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, get really truthful and real with yourself.
14:20
SPEAKER_00: Have you tried everything you can to save the marriage?
14:23
SPEAKER_00: And if the answer is yes...
14:28
SPEAKER_00: then there you go, you know it's time to leave.
14:31
SPEAKER_00: And if the answer is no, I would ask yourself one more question.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: And that is, are you in danger of losing yourself if you keep going?
14:43
SPEAKER_00: So are you in danger of losing yourself if you keep going?
14:46
SPEAKER_00: And by this I mean, you've tried all the things, really, but each time,
14:59
SPEAKER_00: it goes wrong, another one of your boundaries has been crossed.
15:06
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean by this?
15:08
So there is something that is really testing what is actually
15:13
acceptable in a relationship.
15:15
SPEAKER_00: You're not being treated right.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: You're not being communicated with.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: You're not being loved in a way that makes you feel safe and held.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: So
15:29
SPEAKER_00: That is the hardest one, is going, this is not good for me anymore.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: Because we are trained, especially as women, to put everybody else first.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: So this last one,
15:46
somebody's just posted something from my letterbox and nearly
15:49
papped myself to
15:50
SPEAKER_00: excuse me.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: A crucial moment.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: But this is really important.
15:57
SPEAKER_00: So...
15:58
Are you in danger of losing yourself if you keep going in this
16:02
relationship?
16:04
SPEAKER_00: Because your boundaries are being tested.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: You're not being treated properly.
16:08
SPEAKER_00: You're not being respected.
16:10
SPEAKER_00: You're not being loved.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: You don't feel safe.
16:12
SPEAKER_00: All of those things, it requires you to put yourself first and
16:17
SPEAKER_00: And to be honest with you, you should be doing that anyway.
16:20
SPEAKER_00: You should always do that.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: They say put your oxygen mask on first for a reason.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: And that counts in real life, in real relationships.
16:29
SPEAKER_00: Yes, we want to look after the people that we love.
16:32
We want to take care of them and,
16:35
you know,
16:36
love them in all the ways that they want.
16:38
SPEAKER_00: But we can't do that if we are completely neglecting ourselves.
16:47
SPEAKER_00: So I hope that is helpful.
16:48
SPEAKER_00: You've got those three questions that you can look back on.
16:51
You can think about,
16:52
you know,
16:54
listen again if you would like to,
16:55
to the podcast.
16:56
The stuff that I've listed before to kind of have a little
17:00
think and maybe a little
17:02
SPEAKER_00: free write in a journal about...
17:04
how you feel about all this stuff and you know burn it at the
17:07
end if you're worried
17:08
about anybody seeing what you're writing that is fine but just
17:12
really get real with
17:13
yourself and check in and make sure that you are looking after
17:18
yourself in this
17:18
process as well as everybody else and the kids and all that
17:21
kind of stuff and there
17:25
SPEAKER_00: is one other thing I suggest that you do if you're not sure or
17:30
right now if you want to leave or you want to get a divorce and
17:35
it's the thing that
17:36
I did before like the month before I left or before the
17:41
marriage imploded on itself
17:44
SPEAKER_00: It was June 2020.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: So we're in lockdown.
17:48
SPEAKER_00: And I was really, really struggling.
17:53
SPEAKER_00: And in fact, everybody in the house was.
17:55
SPEAKER_00: So we're all kind of on top of each other.
17:59
SPEAKER_00: And I wasn't getting any time to myself whatsoever.
18:02
SPEAKER_00: So what I started doing was getting up at like 5am.
18:05
SPEAKER_00: I had two little kids.
18:08
SPEAKER_00: Luckily, they would sleep.
18:10
SPEAKER_00: I was far enough away from them that I didn't wake them up when I got up.
18:15
SPEAKER_00: And I started using the principles put out in the secret book.
18:21
SPEAKER_00: So the book called The Secret, there's also a movie that you can watch.
18:25
SPEAKER_00: And I read the whole thing and then I was like,
18:27
SPEAKER_00: I distilled it down to like kind of three things that made sense to me.
18:33
SPEAKER_00: And basically it was, I would wake up and meditate and
18:39
kind of like 10 minutes trying to imagine that I'm filling
18:43
myself up with the
18:44
SPEAKER_00: energy of the universe and connecting to that feeling of like infinite
18:48
SPEAKER_00: possibilities.
18:50
And like,
18:51
you know,
18:52
there is a force out there that actually gives a shit about me.
18:55
I was trying to fill myself up with that energy because I
18:57
didn't have any of it for myself.
19:00
And then I would sit and write and I would write everything
19:04
that I wanted in my
19:06
SPEAKER_00: life as if it had already happened.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: And so that also involves like removing the negative.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: So if I'm like,
19:14
SPEAKER_00: I don't want my husband to drink anymore,
19:17
SPEAKER_00: it became,
19:17
I'm so happy and grateful that my husband is looking after
19:21
himself and feels really
19:23
SPEAKER_00: happy and is,
19:24
SPEAKER_00: you know,
19:26
SPEAKER_00: a loving husband,
19:27
SPEAKER_00: that kind of thing.
19:28
So I would literally do that for like half an hour at a time,
19:31
just writing everything out.
19:34
um yeah as if it had already happened and the act of doing that
19:39
made you know I
19:40
could really feel it in my body and I'd get really excited and
19:43
I'd be like
19:44
visualizing different things happening um and I did that every
19:50
single day for a
19:51
month and then on the final day the shit hit the fan basically
19:59
in my relationship
20:01
SPEAKER_00: so
20:02
I know you don't want to manifest the end of your relationship
20:05
necessarily,
20:06
SPEAKER_00: however,
20:09
if you're unhappy or if you're trying to manifest certain
20:13
things that are mutually
20:19
SPEAKER_00: exclusive to the relationship you're in,
20:22
SPEAKER_00: like I believe it was for me,
20:28
then the chances are you're going to get pulled off in a
20:31
different direction.
20:33
So I believe that this was helpful for me because it really,
20:37
really showed me what I wanted.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: You know,
20:41
SPEAKER_00: if it kept coming up every single day,
20:43
SPEAKER_00: the same stuff that I was writing,
20:45
SPEAKER_00: then I was like,
20:46
SPEAKER_00: oh,
20:46
SPEAKER_00: okay,
20:47
SPEAKER_00: I really want this thing,
20:48
SPEAKER_00: don't I?
20:50
And then I also believe that because I was getting so clear on
20:55
what I wanted,
20:55
it became really obvious that my relationship wasn't going to
21:01
support my dreams.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: It just wasn't, not in its current state.
21:07
SPEAKER_00: And that was really horrible and hard.
21:12
And then something happened that was just like,
21:15
okay,
21:16
that is the final line in the sand.
21:20
I'm not going to stay in this relationship anymore because it
21:26
is going to finish me off.
21:30
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
21:33
yeah that that that's what ended up happening and i continued
21:37
to do that process of
21:39
you know meditating for 10 minutes and then moving into
21:44
manifesting and i did it
21:45
throughout my divorce and i believe it helped me find houses
21:50
when i need them
21:51
needed them um i found i've told you all this i'm sure before
21:55
but i just want to
21:56
SPEAKER_00: hammer you know
21:58
get home the point that it was so powerful and important for me
22:04
because yes,
22:05
SPEAKER_00: I believed it brought in the things that I wanted,
22:08
SPEAKER_00: but it also helped me keep my shit together when everything,
22:13
it felt like everything was falling apart and I had to keep the
22:18
faith or I was
22:19
SPEAKER_00: going to,
22:20
SPEAKER_00: I don't know what I was going to do.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: I was going to lose it.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: So
22:25
SPEAKER_00: I just really want to share that with you,
22:27
SPEAKER_00: that like,
22:27
SPEAKER_00: even if you think it's bullshit,
22:30
SPEAKER_00: even if you're worried what anyone will think of you,
22:33
SPEAKER_00: I really believe it's worth a shot.
22:36
SPEAKER_00: Like you saying,
22:37
SPEAKER_00: right,
22:37
SPEAKER_00: for the next month,
22:39
SPEAKER_00: it doesn't have to be at 5am,
22:40
SPEAKER_00: can I just add,
22:42
SPEAKER_00: for the next month,
22:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to spend 10 minutes every day,
22:46
SPEAKER_00: you know,
22:47
SPEAKER_00: five minutes sitting and breathing,
22:50
SPEAKER_00: and then five minutes writing down
22:53
SPEAKER_00: I'm so happy and grateful that and write the stuff that you want down.
22:58
SPEAKER_00: It could be a list of five bullet points.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
23:01
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't need to be as much as I was doing.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: I was lost like properly in the woods.
23:09
SPEAKER_00: I could not see anything.
23:12
I'm mixing all my metaphors here,
23:14
but the light at the end of the tunnel was not a thing.
23:17
I just had to write and write and write until I started to see
23:21
the breadcrumbs to
23:24
SPEAKER_00: get me out of where I was.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: And you know,
23:28
SPEAKER_00: some days you might want to do that,
23:30
SPEAKER_00: other days you might just want to write a little list.
23:32
But I highly recommend you do that for the next month if you're
23:36
not sure if you
23:37
SPEAKER_00: should stay or go or get a divorce or whatever else it is.
23:41
SPEAKER_00: Because it will give you so much clarity.
23:46
And in my opinion,
23:48
it will bring about some really wild coincidences into your
23:53
life.
23:54
SPEAKER_00: So you will know where you're meant to be going.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm excited for you.
23:59
SPEAKER_00: Please will you let me know how it goes if you've started doing it today.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: I don't care if you email me every day.
24:06
SPEAKER_00: I want to hear how you're getting on.
24:12
yeah and how and what you end up deciding if you end up
24:15
deciding to stay then I'm
24:16
bloody thrilled because going through divorce is the worst
24:19
thing I've ever been
24:20
through so if it means that you're able to stay and you know
24:25
really work at it and
24:26
you're happy that's all that matters if it means you get to
24:30
leave and you're happy
24:32
SPEAKER_00: amazing too okay
24:36
SPEAKER_00: So please do let me know how it goes.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: You can get in touch with me, hannah at hannahharvey.uk.
24:44
And if you would like a little bit of support with the actual
24:46
meditating bit,
24:49
go to hannahharvey.uk forward slash love notes reset and this
24:56
will give you access
24:58
to a seven day mini course and it's kind of like 10 to 15
25:03
minute meditations just
25:05
SPEAKER_00: to support you if you struggle with sitting quietly and breathing.
25:09
SPEAKER_00: So it's me just talking you through with some nice plinky, plunky music.
25:18
SPEAKER_00: You know, what I'm live thinking, is there definitely music?
25:21
SPEAKER_00: There's no music with the video, but there is with the audio.
25:25
SPEAKER_00: OK, so, yeah, each day you can put that on.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: It's 10 minutes long and you just get to know.
25:33
down regulate your nervous system so this is like you know how
25:37
your body gets all
25:38
super tense and uncomfortable this is the thing that will help
25:42
you to let go and to
25:47
start to calm down your mind and remind yourself that in this
25:52
moment you are safe
25:53
SPEAKER_00: okay so it's amazing if you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed and
26:01
and you're just not sure what to do next okay right I'm going
26:07
to leave you there my
26:08
darlings next week we will come back and talk about what to do
26:13
if you are going to
26:14
SPEAKER_00: leave
26:15
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for listening.
26:17
SPEAKER_00: And if you could subscribe and leave a review, that would be amazing.
26:22
SPEAKER_00: For all of your tips and tools,
26:25
head over to magicdivorceclub.substack.com and you can find
26:33
everything that you
26:34
SPEAKER_00: need there.
26:35
SPEAKER_00: You've got this and I've got you.