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If You’re Not Needed Like Before… What Is Your Value Now? | The Stewarding Season · Crafted Clarity: Distilling the Tension Between Success and Significance

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  There's a moment that doesn't get talked about much in
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  leadership. It's not the moment where things
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  fall apart. It's actually the moment when
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  things finally work. The team is stepping up and
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  productive decisions are getting made without you.
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  Problems are getting handled even before they reach your
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  desk, and sometimes before you even hear about them.
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  And for a while, that feels exactly what it should feel
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  like. Because it is.
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  This is what good leadership produces.
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  People who don't need you for every decision.
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  An organization that can carry its own weight.
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  And you built towards this. You wanted this.
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  And yet there's something in that space that doesn't quite
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  feel right. It's the shift in how the day
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  feels, a change in the rhythm you didn't realize you'd been
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  keeping for a long time. The shape of your value was
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  clear. Something came up, you stepped
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  in. Something needed attention.
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  You handled it. There was a pole, and you
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  answered it. You knew exactly where you fit.
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  But then the pole starts to change just enough that you
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  notice it. Those moments that used to tell
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  you where you stood, Well, they don't show up the same way
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  anymore, and nothing quite replaces them.
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  So there's a space that opens up more room than you're used to,
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  more quiet than you've had in a long time.
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  And somewhere in that quiet, a question starts to form.
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  What does my value look like now when I'm not being needed in the
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  same way I used to? That question shows up in that
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  quiet moment when things are actually working, and it lingers
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  and creates a bit of tension. There's something about the way
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  whiskey is made, specifically what happens to the person
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  making it, that gives us an honest picture of what's
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  happening in that moment. At a small crap distillery,
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  there's usually one person who moves through the entire
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  process, the master distiller. They don't hand off to
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  specialist at each stage, they stay with it from the beginning
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  to the bottle. But here's what that actually
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  means at the start. Their job is about selection and
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  control. They choose the grain, the
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  ingredients, the mash bill. They decide what goes in before
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  anything begins. And that decision matters deeply
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  because whatever goes into the mash bill is what comes out the
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  other side. Then there's the still where
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  heat is applied. Everything inside begins to
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  separate, and in the process the distiller has to make a cut,
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  which is the most critical decision in the entire process.
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  The first part of the run is cut because it's too harsh, too
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  rough. The last part gets cut because
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  it's too weak and too thin. What remains is the metal called
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  the hearts. This is the purest expression of
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  what this was always becoming. And then the distiller's job
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  changes. The spirit goes now into the
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  barrel, and the distiller's job is now to just step back.
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  Not away, but back. Because this stage doesn't need
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  the version of them that selected the grain.
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  It doesn't need the version that managed the still or the version
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  that needed to make the perfect cut.
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  This stage needs a distiller who can tend, who can wait, who can
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  move barrels in a dark Rick house without knowing exactly
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  what's forming inside of them, Who can resist the urge to keep
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  doing what worked in the last stage because that version of
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  the job is done. The spirit is aging, character
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  is forming, and the distiller's presence in this season looks
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  almost nothing like it did in the last one.
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  That's the process working exactly the way it's supposed
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  to. The question is whether the
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  distiller knows which stage they're in.
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  This is where a lot of leaders find themselves not facing bad
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  performance, not disengaged, not checking out.
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  They're still busy, still leading, but carrying a question
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  they haven't said out loud yet. If I'm not being needed in the
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  way I used to be, what does that say about who I am?
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  That's not a strategy question, it's not an operational
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  question. That's an identity question, and
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  it runs underneath everything else that looks completely fine.
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  Back in 2013, I spent two weeks in the Czech Republic.
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  I was part of a missions team working with high school
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  students at a music camp. But before I get to what
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  happened there, I'm going to share a little bit about how I'm
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  wired. My default, for as long as I can
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  remember, is to be the one who steps in.
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  Not from a need to control, but from a sense of this is my
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  responsibility. This is where I add value.
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  So when I landed in check, I was thousands of miles from home, 13
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  hours ahead in time zone. In 2013, international roaming
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  was unreliable at best and most of the times non existent and
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  something happened that I wasn't prepared for.
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  If something came up back at home, I wasn't able to step in.
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  Not remotely, not later, not at all.
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  The version of me that always knew where it stood, that always
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  had somewhere to go, now had nowhere to go.
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  And that realization hit me harder than I expected.
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  I wasn't worried. I trusted completely that things
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  were fine back home. But it was something else.
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  The reflex kept running when there was nothing to step into.
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  My mind kept reaching back home the way that you'd reach for
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  something that's always been there, and I found empty space
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  instead. And I didn't like noticing that
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  about myself because I was on this trip for a reason.
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  Students in front of me. Two weeks that mattered, and
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  part of me kept leaving the room.
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  So I had to make a choice. Was I going to keep reaching
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  back, or was I going to be present for what was right in
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  front of me? And what was right in front of
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  me required a completely different version of myself.
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  Not the one who steps in, not the one who handles things.
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  Just present, Just there, just paying attention.
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  I had brought a guitar with me on that trip.
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  It had belonged to a man named Gary, a musician who had poured
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  his life into ministry, into music and into people.
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  He had travelled to check many times.
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  He died before I made this trip. His family entrusted me with his
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  guitar to carry it back to the place that he loved and leave it
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  with someone who might carry something of his forward.
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  So I was already holding something that wasn't mind to
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  control. I just had to pay attention.
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  There was this girl at the camp. She was from Ukraine.
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  She kept coming to our guitar workshops, not just attending
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  but actually practicing. She'd find me between sessions
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  and asked if I could if she could borrow the guitar so she
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  could keep working on what we were teaching her.
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  I can only imagine the courage it took a teenager in a second
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  language to keep seeking out an adult she barely knew just to
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  get more time with an instrument.
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  At a break before the concert, the final concert, I sat down
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  with her and I told her Gary's story.
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  I asked her if she wanted to keep the guitar.
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  Her eyes filled. She was visibly moved, and she
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  said yes. But then about an hour later,
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  she found me, and she told me that she couldn't accept it.
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  She wanted me to find someone who needed it more.
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  The guitar came home and the relationship stayed in check.
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  The setting was different than the one you're navigating, but
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  the disruption underneath it is the same.
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  The version of yourself that knew exactly how to show up,
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  that had a clear role, a clear signal, and a clear way of
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  confirming value had nowhere to go, and what was left had to be
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  enough. You probably have a version of
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  this, a season where the performance had nowhere to go,
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  where showing up was the only thing available, where you
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  couldn't see what you were building while you were building
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  it. Here's what's interesting about
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  this particular tension. It's not really about the role.
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  It's about what happens to the role over time.
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  Because when you've let something long enough, when
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  you've been the one who stepped in, handled it, stayed close,
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  the role doesn't just describe what you do.
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  It starts to answer the question of who you are.
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  And when that happens, something else changes underneath it.
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  Performance becomes the way you prove the identity is real, step
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  in, handle it, be needed. That's just not contribution
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  anymore. That's confirmation.
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  I showed up. I was useful.
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  I matter here, and for a long time that works just fine.
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  Because the season requires it, the organization needs that
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  version of you, and you need the signal it sends back.
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  But then the season changes. Less pull, less urgency, less
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  dependence. The team handles what used to
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  come to you. The problems get solved before
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  you even hear about them, and the performance that used to
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  confirm identity, well, that starts to quiet down.
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  You didn't lose value. The organization has grown past
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  needing you in the way it once did, which should feel like
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  success. And it does.
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  And it also feels like something you don't quite have the words
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  for yet. If I'm not stepping in, if I'm
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  not the one being needed in that way, who am I in this?
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  That's not a management question.
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  That's an identity question, and it deserves more than a
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  productivity framework. And here's where the distiller
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  gives us something honest. A master distiller moves through
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  the entire process, but the job looks completely different
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  depending on where they are. There's a control season where
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  their hands are in everything. A selecting the grain, running
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  the still, making the cut. Decide what moves forward.
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  Active, visible, immediate. You can feel the impact of every
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  decision. Then when the spirit goes into
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  the barrel, the distiller moves into a stewarding season.
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  They're still present, still essential, but the job looks
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  almost nothing like it did before.
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  Now they tend. They wait.
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  They move barrels in a dark Rick house without being able to see
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  what's forming inside. They have to resist the urge to
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  intervene, because this stage doesn't require intervention.
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  It needs patience. It needs presence.
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  It needs a distiller who knows that the work is happening, is
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  real work, even when it doesn't confirm itself the way it did
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  the last season did. And eventually, not yet, but
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  eventually comes the alignment season, the bottling, the
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  finished spirit, the move, the moment when what was always
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  forming finally expresses itself fully.
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  This is the what we're building for.
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  Moment, identity, purpose, moving in the same direction.
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  But you don't get there by staying in the control season.
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  And you don't get there by skipping the stewarding season.
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  You get there by knowing which season you're in and showing up
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  as the version of yourself that the season actually needs.
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  Most leaders sit in this tension are somewhere in the stewarding
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  season. They built something real in the
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  control season. Their hands shaped it, the
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  presence held it together, and the work was necessary.
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  It was good. It was them.
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  But the organization has moved, and intentionally so.
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  And the question isn't whether they're still valuable.
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  The question is whether they know which version of themselves
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  this season is asking for. Not the one who ran.
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  The still. Not the one who made every cut.
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  The one who tends what's forming.
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  The one who shows up without needing the signal back.
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  The one who trusts that presence is doing something that
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  performance never could. That's what Check required of
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  me. The performance had nowhere to
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  go, no place to step in, nothing to handle, no way to reach back
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  across time zones in the distance and be the version of
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  myself where I placed my value. Just the workshops, the cut, the
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  guitar, and the girl who kept coming back.
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  The work of being present in the season, not knowing what it was
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  building. I didn't know which moment
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  mattered. And it turns out that wasn't
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  mine to know. 14 years had passed since that mission trip
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  ended when one day on Facebook, I saw her name in a post.
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  She was asking for help, not reaching out to me specifically,
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  just putting something into the world and hoping someone who
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  cared would see it. And I almost kept scrolling
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  because my honest assumption, one I've carried my entire life,
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  is that people don't Remember Me.
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  I can remember almost every face, name and conversation, but
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  I've always assumed it doesn't go the other direction.
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  So when I reached out privately, it said plainly, not sure if you
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  Remember Me, it's been 14 years, she wrote back.
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  She remembered me. She told me I made a huge impact
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  on her life. And then she shared what was
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  happening, the war in Ukraine just beginning, her father's
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  health failing because of the bombing.
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  I was able to contribute in a small way to help with her
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  father's care. But what stayed with me wasn't
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  the ability to help. It was this.
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  When things fell apart, she put something into the world and
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  something in me recognized her name and chose not to scroll
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  past. 14 years later and I can't point to a single conversation
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  that built that. I can't identify the moment
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  where trust formed. I can't trace it back to a
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  workshop or a session or the guitar she borrowed and handed
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  back and never kept. It came from all of it, the
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  showing up, the presence that happened when I finally stopped
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  reaching back, the relationship that formed in the space between
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  the measurable moments. I couldn't see it while it was
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  happening, but because what I was building didn't operate on
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  the timeline I was trying to measure it in, That's the Rick
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  house in the distillery. What made sense when you were
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  running the still doesn't apply in the Rick house.
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  Transformation of the whiskey is still happening.
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  And if I had spent those two weeks in check, mentally
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  reaching back home, filling every quiet moment with the
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  version of myself that steps in and handles things, I would have
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  been physically present and completely somewhere else.
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  And she would have practiced the guitar alone.
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  And 14 years later, I probably would have scrolled past her
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  name because that connection wasn't there.
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  Showing up is what we're called to do, but it shows up
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  differently in different seasons.
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  If you've ever gone to a whiskey tasting, you take notes on what
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  you taste, what you notice, and what you want to remember.
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  Here are a few things we're sitting with from this one.
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  Which season are you in right now?
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  Controlling, stewarding, alignment.
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  Not which one do you want to be in?
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  Which one the work is actually asking you to be in?
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  And are you showing up as a version of yourself that the
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  season requires, or are you still trying to run the still?
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  When the spirit is already in the barrel, When the performance
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  quiets down, when there's less to step into, less to handle,
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  what do you feel underneath it? Not what to do about it, just
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  what's there. Because if the role has become
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  the identity, the quiet just doesn't sit like a slower
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  season. It feels like a question about
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  who you are, and is there someone, somewhere that you
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  poured presents into without knowing what it was?
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  Building a relationship that didn't confirm itself.
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  A season of showing up that didn't feel like enough.
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  Don't be too quick to answer that one.
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  The confirmation may still be forming.
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  These tasting notes are available as a free download at
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  craftedclarity.net, no login required.
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  There's space there to write, to sit with what surfaced today,
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  and to take this further than a single listen.
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  The Master Distiller doesn't grieve every stage they leave
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  behind. They know the mash bill work was
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  real. The cuts were necessary, and the
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  still did exactly what it was supposed to do.
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  And now the barrels are doing their work, the most patient,
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  least visible job in the entire process, Tending what's forming,
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  showing up in the dark, trusting that time is doing something
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  that control never could. That's the stewarding season,
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  and the distiller who knows which stage they're in, who can
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  release the last version of the job and show up as the version
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  this season needs, is the one who makes it to the bottle, the
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  one who gets to taste all of what the formation was for.
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  If you're in the stage right now, the question isn't whether
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  you're still valuable. The question is whether you can
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  trust what the season is building without needing to see
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  it yet. And remember, clarity isn't
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  found, it's crafted. Thanks for listening to Crafted
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  Clarity. If you're a leader wrestling
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  with the tension between success and significance, or if you're
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  trying to align your work with a deeper calling, I'd love to
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  connect with you. If your organization is facing
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  questions about strategy, whether it's alignment, ROI, or
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  building confidence in your team, this is the work we do
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  every day at Ibrant. And if you walk this journey
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  yourself, or maybe you're right in the middle of it, I'd love to
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  hear your story and maybe even share it here on the podcast.
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  You can find me at craftclarity.net.