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Why Do We Need To Disagree So Much · Pulpit to Pavement

• Kevin: Accept the one whose faith is weak without quarreling over disputable matters. One's person's faith allows them to eat anything, but another whose faith is weak eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall, and they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand. One person considers one day more sacred than another. Another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. Whosoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God, and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live we live for the Lord, and if we die we die for the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason Christ died and returned to life, so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. You then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. It is written, As surely as I live, says the Lord, every knee will bow before me, every tongue will acknowledge God. So then each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Therefore, let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind. Not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. This is the word of God for the people of. Kayla: All right, so you got that. Thank you, Kevin. We are in the last message of our Asking for a Friend series. But as I said last week, we are going to make Asking for a Friend a monthly installment of the podcast. So I have question cards out in the Narthex, and I need you to keep submitting questions so that we can create content for the podcast. And if you have a question, you can fill out one of those cards. And I have a mailbox right outside my office. You can just drop that question right inside my mailbox. our last question for this series is one that I think we all have felt. one that we have hyper focused on for probably the last decade, if not longer. the question is: why? Do we need to disagree so much? And I assume that by we, this person is referring to Christians. Why do Christians disagree so much? So let me start by saying that disagreement among God's people is not a new thing. We tend to think that our disunity has been especially out of hand. In the last decade, but it's really not a new thing. Now, is the media fueling our polarization? Absolutely. but we have yet to experience a history in which we enjoy absolute harmony, even as people who share the same faith. I think what we're actually concerned about is not the fact that we disagree because Let's be honest, if we all thought the exact same things, life might actually be pretty boring. Right? Because different perspectives, different worldviews, those provide opportunities for learning, freshness, expansion. It even challenges us in healthy ways. I think the concern for us. Is that we are progressively losing our ability to disagree well. And again, that's not a new thing. we've had periods in history that our inability to disagree well has resulted in split kingdoms, riots, civil wars. We've had periods in history where. We have less faith in humanity. And so we need revival. We need healing. We need renewal. And I think we're just at that point in the cycle where it is more of a problem for us right now. And there are periods in our history where it's been less of an issue. So how do we disagree? Well, in the passage, Kevin just read. Paul is writing to Christians who genuinely disagree on matters they believe have spiritual significance. It's matters mostly of food and sacred days and religious practices. But you'll notice that Paul doesn't settle every argument for them. Instead, he teaches them how to belong to one another while disagreeing. So let me answer the question why do we disagree so much? And but then I want us to pivot to how we belong to one another while we disagree. So Christians disagree so much because even faithful people don't always see things exactly the same way. Paul doesn't divide the church into good Christians and bad Christians. He recognizes that sincere believers can reach rational and yet different conclusions. Human beings have a natural tendency. To organize themselves into groups. We find identity and security among people who share our history, our values, our way of seeing the world. And interestingly, Scripture doesn't pretend those group identities don't exist. Israel itself was organized into twelve tribes, right? But the tribes were never supposed to become. Twelve competing people. They had the same moral code, they had the same laws, they were to live by the same faith. But was there conflict between them? Yes, there was. If you look at Joshua 22, I don't have the the text to put on the screen, but you can go look it up on your own time. After the conquest of the promised land, after the tribes had been established, and the territory. Had been split among the twelve tribes. The tribes of Reuben, Gad, and half of Manasseh returned to their land east of the Jordan River. Before crossing the river, they built a huge altar. And when the other tribes heard about it, they immediately assumed the worst. They have abandoned God. So they saw what another tribe was doing, they interpreted it through their own assumptions, they attributed the worst possible motive to them, and they prepared for conflict. So suspicion became accusation, and accusation became hostility. Now we know nothing about that, do we? But then they did something critically important, and it's something that we probably gloss over when we read it, but we need to take note of it. Before they had a battle, they had a conversation. And they listened and discovered they had misunderstood. The altar wasn't intended for rival worship at all. The eastern tribes built it as a witness that they and their descendants belong to the same god and the same people. So each tribe had their own distinctions, they had different territories, different histories, leaders, responsibilities, and eventually regional cultures. Yet underneath all those distinctions was supposed to be a deeper identity. They were all Israel, they all belonged to the covenant. They all worshiped the same God. They all lived under the Torah. In other words, God allowed them to have their tribal identity, but their tribal identity was supposed to remain subordinate to their covenant identity. And Christians today have all kinds of tribes, right? Methodist, Catholic, Baptist, Reformed, Progressive, Conservative, Traditional, Cemporary, Rural, Uban. And countless others, those identities aren't automatically bad. They give us community, tradition, language, a place to belong. But the danger comes when we forget, before I belong to my tribe, I belong to Christ. And Israel repeatedly struggled with that. They may have disagreed well in this circumstance, but they went on to fail many, many times after that. So we are no stranger to this, but there's a huge lesson here. Sometimes the greatest threat to Christian unity isn't disagreement at all. It's what we assume about the people with whom we disagree. We see someone reach a different conclusion, and we quickly move from they see this differently than I do, to they have twisted the scripture to fit their agenda, they've compromised the truth, they're not really Christian, they're ignorant and hateful. Sometimes we assume if another Christian loved Jesus as much as I do. Read the Bible as carefully as I do, prayed as sincerely as I do, then obviously they would come to the same conclusion I have. And if they don't, they are not only wrong, they are evil. And I'm just gonna be real with you and say when I see that, and I see it a lot, it really burns my chicken. I see friends, Christian friends on both sides. Hurl insults at the other side, calling people blind, calling people fascist, calling people stupid. And those insults are largely based on assumption. Romans fourteen challenges that assumption. Sometimes our disagreement comes from our interpretation of the scripture. Right? A lot of the issues that we face within the church stem from how we interpret the scriptures. And that's because Christians don't simply encounter scripture in a vacuum. Right? We bring to our study of the scriptures our experiences, our traditions, our cultural backgrounds, our personalities. Education, histories. Now, that doesn't mean everyone gets to decide their own truth when they read the scriptures. It means biblical interpretation requires humility. Our founder, John Wesley, believed there were four major facets in which we grew in faith and understanding of God and his grace, and this became known as the Wesleyan. Quadrilateral. And the four sides were, does anybody know? Really? Scripture, reasoning, tradition, and experience. Now, these are not equal authorities, which is why we don't call it the Wesleyan Square. Scripture is primary. That is the authority over the rest. Tradition, reason, and experience influence how we understand and apply it, but they are secondary. So the Bible is God's word for us, but my interpretation of the Bible is still my interpretation. And humility requires me to remember that I am capable of being wrong. There are hot button topics in the church and in society that I've spent a great deal of time searching the scriptures, reading books by Christian authors on both sides of the issues. I've sat in small groups with people on both sides of the issues, and I've listened because I want to hear their stories. I want to know their struggles. I value their humanity more than the need to assert a position. I have spent so much time agonizing over the issues, trying to discern where I stood. I even went on a silence retreat because I thought maybe that would help me get the clarity I need so that I could get in a space where I could get a clear answer. From God. And today, if you asked me to pick a side. It really depends on the issue. But you would probably not be satisfied with my answer because I will tell you that I often find myself in what our bishop refers to as the messy middle. I can sit down with someone whose convictions are highly conservative. I can listen to them explain why they believe what they believe, and I can genuinely understand the values and concerns underneath those convictions. I can also sit down with someone whose convictions are highly progressive. I listen to them explain why they believe what they believe and I genuinely understand the values and concerns underneath their convictions too. Now, that doesn't mean I think every position is equally right. It doesn't mean the truth doesn't matter to me. And it certainly doesn't mean I don't have my own convictions. I do. There are some things I would say no to that some of you might not like. There are some things I would say yes to that some of you might not like. But it means I've discovered that people are usually more complicated than the labels we put on them. I've met people with very traditional convictions who are motivated by a desire to remain faithful to what they believe God has revealed in the scriptures and a sincere concern about what happens when the church simply conforms to the culture around it. And I resonate with that. Listen, as a Christian, as a pastor, I am bound. By the scriptures. My worldview, my values, my convictions, they need to be formed primarily by the scripture, and everything else is secondary, Wesley and quadrilateral. But when I explain my interpretation of the scripture and how I think it should be applied, I also preface that in humility with there's a chance I'm wrong about this. And if I am wrong, I pray that God will reveal it to me. And I will do everything in my power to make it right. And I have met with people with very progressive convictions who are motivated by a deep concern for people who have been deeply wounded, excluded, overlooked, and a sincere desire to extend the grace and compassion they see in Jesus. And I resonate with that too. I resonate with that deep desire for all people, regardless of background and affiliation, to know they are of infinite worth to God. We like clearly defined terms. You know, we want to know which jersey somebody is wearing. So when you encounter someone like me who is in the messy middle, that might frustrate you and make you tense. And I get that too. Because I too wrestle with feeling tense about my inability to pick a side. Why can't I just do that? Well, because just when I start to think I know where I stand on an issue. I sit and listen to somebody else's story. I hear their struggle. I get a different perspective and it causes me to rethink everything I thought I knew. And I've had to learn that the middle isn't always a place of compromise. Sometimes it's the place where you can reach out a hand on both sides. And friends, I just would like to ask, when did we decide as a society that that is a bad or unchristian thing to do? Is it possible that just as the church body is one body with many parts, the church needs people on the right, the church needs people on the left, and the church needs people in the middle, not because truth doesn't matter, but because people matter too. I can listen to someone I disagree with without needing to assign them to a camp. Because unity is not the same as uniformity. Last week we talked about the body of Christ, one body, many parts. The goal of Christian community was never that everybody would have identical personalities, opinions, preferences, and perspectives. If that were true, Jesus would not have put a zealot and a tax collector at the same table. Matthew had been a tax collector, a profession associated with Rome and despised by many of his fellow Jews. And then there was Simon, who was called the zealot, who is very much opposed to the Roman government. Now, we don't know enough about either man's personal politics to reconstruct their conversations, but we know enough. About their worlds to recognize there was a tension that existed between the two. Whatever else those labels meant for them personally, Jesus called people from dramatically different social worlds into the same community. And he didn't wait for them to agree on everything before he said, follow me. The real danger isn't disagreement, it's contempt. Romans 14 3 says, Those who eat must not despise those who abstain, and those who abstain must not pass judgment on those who eat. So you see the two temptations there despising and judging. Disagreement becomes spiritually destructive when I disagree with you, becomes I don't respect you, which becomes I don't actually need you. Which eventually becomes you don't belong here. And Paul refuses to allow that. Christian unity doesn't require me to surrender my convictions. It does, however, require me to refuse to surrender my love. Paul isn't advocating indifference, he's advocating conviction with charity. When Christians disagree, our instinct is to ask who's right. But Romans 14 gives us another question. How do I treat this person while I disagree with them? Our witness isn't merely demonstrated by what we believe. It is demonstrated by how we treat people who don't see everything the way we do. Even John Wesley once said, Though we cannot think alike, may we not love alike. How do we belong to one another while we disagree? Gavin Ortland wrote a book called The Art of Disagreeing. It's a short read. I highly recommend it. In it, he offers wisdom on how we can disagree well. I'm going to highlight a few things from this book, but I encourage you to read the rest of it. He says there are a few things we need to carry in us in order to disagree well. At the top of that list is kindness. And courage. We can't really have one without the other because kindness without courage is flimsy, and courage without kindness is brash. Kindness has a way of lowering defenses and opening the ears. Kindness keeps us from categorizing someone based on disagreement. It keeps us from othering them or demonizing them. We cultivate kindness. By praying for those with for whom we disagree. We pray for humility for ourselves to consider the possible experiences andor sufferings that may stand behind their opposition. We pray for God to fill us with compassion toward that person. We pray that goodness and blessings are bestowed upon them. We pray that God will help us to see that person. As someone made in the image of God and of infinite worth to him. Now, some might say that kindness begets weakness. It begets compromising and avoiding hard truths. And while discernment is needed to keep from compromising, kindness is a command in the Bible. First Peter 3:15 tells us, make a defense, but do this with gentleness and respect. Colossians 4:6 says, Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt. And consider that these commands were not given in a peaceful context because the first century church dealt with all kinds of hostility aimed toward them. So to that end, I would say that kindness is not weak at all. Sometimes it takes everything we have to be kind, right? Stephen the martyr is a perfect example of this. He was courageous. He stood his ground. He did not compromise his conviction. He was even a bit blunt. He called this hostile crowd a stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears. And that sounds a bit harsh and unkind, but as he is being stoned to death. He accompanies his courage with kindness. He says, Lord, do not hold this sin against them. Even while being murdered, he holds no malice. He didn't back down from those who opposed him and attacked him, but he also prayed for them. How was he able to do that? Well, the text tells us that his eyes were fixed heavenward on Christ. And kindness is not something we manufacture on our own. It's a fruit of the spirit. It is cultivated by us leaning into Christ and following his lead. Now, this is not meant to be taken that, you know, we must put ourselves in harm's way in the name of kindness. I stand by what I said in my message on boundaries. Okay. Sometimes when you're dealing with someone who is bent against reconciliation, who is Against repentance or making amends, it is a necessary thing to withdraw, to put up a boundary. But you can do that and still show kindness, right? You can wish them well, you can pray for God's blessings and healing upon them. But with that kindness, you also need courage. There will be times when you need to stand for the truth. Stand for what you believe is right. Now, not every issue is a hill to die on. Right? Sometimes remaining silent may be prudent, but sometimes the issue is important enough to speak up. And when we do, we need courage. Even when tensions rose to the point of Pharisees seeking the death penalty, Jesus did not back down from the truth. So how do we discern whether a disagreement is worth speaking up about or keeping to ourselves? I would ask yourself two questions. One, Is the disagreement important to the cause of the gospel? So if it's a matter of preference over worship songs, we need to allow ourselves to be flexible there. Right? But if if a church leader is having an affair, sweeping that under the rug would cause damage to the gospel. Another question I'd ask is: Is the disagreement likely to be productive? Will it be edifying or useful? Or will it only create more strife? Courage isn't just needed for standing firm in our assertions and speaking the truth. It's also needed when we need to admit when we were wrong, when we need to apologize. And also when we face pressure to yield. Like when we make a big change and we get backlash for that. The temptation would be to cave in to that person's demand or wishes. So we need courage to maintain the change over the pressure. It also wouldn't hurt to have I Won't Back Down by Tom Petty on your playlist. A little motivational music for ya. But also understand courage is not saying whatever we feel, right? It is not letting our emotions driving the wheel. Courage is not venting or pelting stones of reckless words to people we disagree with. Courage is being able to say difficult things, but to do it with wisdom, respect, restraint, and calculation. Along with kindness and courage, we need to be good listeners if we're if we're going to disagree well. That is what prevented the battle in Joshua 22. They stopped assuming long enough to have a conversation. Now, listening doesn't mean agreement. It means I care enough about you to make sure I'm disagreeing with what you actually believe, not the version of you I've created in my head. Maybe one of the most Christ like questions we can learn to ask is simply help me understand why you see it this way. Persuasion, if that is the goal, is more effective when we listen and respond with kindness and courage. If I humiliate you, if I insult you, if I make you feel small, I might have won the argument, but I probably have not persuaded you in anything. And worse, I have damaged my witness for Christ. And finally, we have to have love. Jesus said in John thirteen, it's not our resources or our gifts, but by our love that we will gain notice of the world. He said, By this all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another. That's in John 13, 55. Jesus was speaking to a team of people who, again, represented dramatically different social worlds, cultural values, political views, and yet Jesus sat them at the same table, called them to minister together, and they must have learned to disagree well, because the story does not end with, and the zealot abandoned the mission because he refused to work with the tax collector. Many, if not most, disagreements reach a point where neither person has persuaded the other. You've listened, you've explained, you've prayed, you've searched the scriptures, you've tried to understand, but you still disagree. What happens then? Well, that's where Christian love becomes more than just a nice idea. Because Christian love says, You don't have to agree with me for me to love you. You don't have to vote like me. You don't have to worship like me. You don't have to interpret every passage exactly like me. You don't have to share every conviction I hold. And depending upon the issue, our disagreement may have real consequences, right? There may be a need for boundaries. There may be things that we can't do together. But we will not reduce each other to the disagreement. We will not make contempt a Christian virtue. We will not forget that everyone, regardless of viewpoint, is made in the image of God and of infinite worth to Him. And if you belong to Christ, then somehow, mysteriously, beautifully, you belong to me, and I belong to you. Paul never tells them, just stop disagreeing. Instead, he essentially says, don't let your disagreement make you forget who you are to one another. So maybe the question isn't simply why do Christians disagree so much? Maybe the better question is what kind of Christian will I be when someone disagrees with me? Will I listen before assuming? Will I remain teachable? Can I hold my conviction without holding contempt for that person? Can I have enough courage to speak when I need to speak and enough humility to admit that I might be wrong? Can I say I believe you're wrong without also saying therefore you and I don't belong at this table together? Can I remember that Jesus died for the person on the other side of the disagreement too? Church, our unity has never been found in agreeing with one another on everything. That's never been our reality. Our unity is found in belonging to Christ. We don't have to think alike in order to love alike. We don't have to erase our differences to belong to one another. Because before I am conservative or progressive. Before I am traditional or contemporary, before I am Methodist or Baptist or Catholic, before I belong to an earthly tribe, I belong to Jesus. And if you belong to Jesus too, whether you like it or not, We belong to one another. So you're stuck with me and I'm stuck with you, and I'm happy to be stuck with you. Kiwi Lewis. Maybe the world doesn't need to see a church that has finally figured out how to agree on everything. Maybe the world desperately needs to see a church that shows them how people can disagree and still sit at the same table, wash one another's feet, bear one another's burdens, pray for one another, serve alongside one another, and call each other brother and sister. Perhaps one of the greatest witnesses the church can offer this divided world is not that we never disagree. It's that our disagreements are never greater than the Christ who holds us together. Will you pray with me? Gracious God, in a world so quick to divide, teach us a better way. Give us humility to listen before we assume, courage to speak the truth with grace, and wisdom to know when to speak and when to remain silent. Guard our hearts from contempt. When we disagree, help us to remember that the person across from us is made in your image and loved deeply by you. Keep our eyes fixed on Jesus and remind us that what unites us in Christ is greater than the things that divide us. Teach us not merely to disagree well, but to love well, so that the world might know that we are your disciples by the way we love one another. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. And friends, I think it is fitting now that we get to celebrate someone joining our church family, adding to the body of Christ. And with that, I want to welcome up Jamie Marsh. Find where I'm at here. Okay. Jamie, on behalf of the whole church, I ask you, do you renounce the spiritual forces of wickedness, reject the evil powers of this world, and repent of your sin, if so say I do? I do. Do you accept the freedom and power God gives you to resist evil, injustice, and oppression in whatever forms they present themselves? I do. Do you confess Jesus Christ as your Savior? Put your whole trust in His grace and And promise to serve him as your Lord in union with the church which Christ has opened to people of all ages, nations, and races. I do. Do you, church, as members together in the body of Christ and in this congregation, reaffirm your faith in Jesus Christ and renew your covenant to faithfully participate in the ministries of the church by your prayers, your presence, your gifts, your service and witness? That in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. Thank you. I love it. Let us join together in professing the Christian faith as contained in the scriptures of the Old and New Testaments. Do you believe in God the Father? I believe in God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth. Do you believe in Jesus Christ? I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary. Suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead, and buried. The third day he rose from the dead, he ascended into heaven and sitteth at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. From thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead. Do you believe in the Holy Spirit? I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Universal Church, the communion of saints. The forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. Amen. As members of Christ Universal Church, will you be loyal to Christ through the United Methodist Church and do all in your power to strengthen its ministries? I will. Thank you. As members of this congregation, will you faithfully participate in its ministries by your prayers, your presence, your gifts, your service, and your witness? Members of the household of God, those names are wrong, I'm sorry. I commend Jamie to your love and care. Do all in your power to increase her faith, confirm her hope, and perfect her in love. We give thanks for all that God has already given you, and we welcome you in Christian love. As members together with you in the body of Christ. And in this congregation of the United Methodist Church, we renew our covenant faithfully to participate in the ministries of the church by our prayers, our presence, our gifts, our service, and our witness, that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. The God of all grace who has called us into eternal glory in Christ, establish you. And strengthen you by the power of the Holy Spirit that you may live in grace and peace. And now let us welcome our newest member, Jamie.