Latest / Social Proof Podcast / What It’s Really Costing You to “Stay Strong” | @KDBowe | Social Proof Podcast

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What It’s Really Costing You to “Stay Strong” | @KDBowe | Social Proof Podcast · Social Proof Podcast

0:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Alright man, y'all know we did this part of thine 12 hour straight and right now we are going to go into a session that meant a lot.
0:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't get a chance to talk about my feelings a lot.
0:12
[SPEAKER_01]: and how I feel as a man, or a husband, and I believe society has taught us how to feel and how to be and how to look and I finally ran into somebody who understands how I've been suppressing my emotions for whatever reason, right?
0:27
[SPEAKER_01]: But we had a really engaging conversation, I think everyone needs to listen to this because life is not just about what you make, it's about who you are and how you feel and how you feel about this.
0:38
[SPEAKER_01]: things that you got going on, so I make you tap in this more brother K.D.
0:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Boe from the 12-hour pot of thought.
0:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me know your thoughts in the comments like commentshare.
0:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll see you all in episode.
0:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Then I made up my mind as I would never cry again, because it doesn't help anyway.
0:54
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't make anything better.
0:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And sure enough, I didn't cry for maybe 30 years bro.
1:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Most of the challenges that we face in relationships and business to hold nine,
1:06
[SPEAKER_00]: is because there is a part of us that has not been cared for properly.
1:10
[SPEAKER_00]: You block one emotion, you block all of them.
1:13
[SPEAKER_00]: So instead of loving from the heart, you're transacting from the head.
1:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Most men are not vulnerable, man.
1:20
[SPEAKER_00]: That's me saying to you, I'm willing to be weak, and I don't know what you might do with what I just said.
1:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I saw this little boy over in this...
1:31
[SPEAKER_00]: dark corner and it just hit hit me in my chest and that I realized that it was actually me it was the part of me that I sent into exile because he was so warm and open-hearted and so I just realized how much of my life and I'm living on defense and that was the thing to kind of started turning things around for me.
1:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, but I asked him to come through because we don't really talk about business stuff.
2:03
[SPEAKER_01]: He's always trying to find out what's going on in my heart and in my head and with my family and me being a man.
2:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like he'd be doing like man checks to make sure I'm still manly and do.
2:17
[SPEAKER_01]: But KD, man, introduce yourself and then we get into it.
2:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh man, I'm Katie Bow, I've been a father, a content creator, a business owner, and I love what I do and help them man become the best version of themselves.
2:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Like David Chance.
2:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, man, I think I'm doing good though.
2:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Not you not.
2:39
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't think so?
2:40
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
2:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Did you read the book?
2:45
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
2:45
[SPEAKER_01]: What was the name of the book?
2:49
[SPEAKER_00]: You are the one you've been waiting for.
2:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't read it.
2:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Hold on, let me just make sure I didn't read it.
2:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me look at my wall.
2:57
[SPEAKER_01]: You didn't read it.
2:58
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, no, I didn't read it, but I might have gotten it though, if it's not audible.
3:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me just look at my little library.
3:05
[SPEAKER_01]: It's called, you are the one you've been with.
3:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I got a little bit into it.
3:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
3:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I started it, but I really get into it.
3:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Cool.
3:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
3:17
[SPEAKER_00]: How does it usually do you to get there?
3:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you know, whatever works.
3:19
[SPEAKER_00]: What's the book about?
3:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Bro, it's about the internal family system.
3:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Like inside of us, we have parts of us, the makers who we are and make us show up the way we show up.
3:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you got a jealous part.
3:34
[SPEAKER_00]: You have insecure part.
3:37
[SPEAKER_00]: You have a super loving part.
3:39
[SPEAKER_00]: The one that makes you really, really open hearted.
3:42
[SPEAKER_00]: All right.
3:42
[SPEAKER_00]: You have the angry part.
3:44
[SPEAKER_00]: We all have parts, bro.
3:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes,
3:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Most of the challenges that we face in relationships and business the whole nine is because there is a part of us that has not been cared for properly For me it was the love in part.
4:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I told myself that
4:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I will never be that open-hearted, loving, gregarious, give everybody a chance, person because it hurt too much.
4:14
[SPEAKER_01]: You told yourself you would never be that.
4:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, I made you three years old.
4:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Man, standing outside, standing outside, I was crying.
4:21
[SPEAKER_00]: About something that I made up my mind, so I will never cry again.
4:25
[SPEAKER_00]: because it doesn't help anyway.
4:27
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't make anything better.
4:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And sure enough, I didn't cry for a 13, maybe 30 years, bro.
4:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I haven't had a strong cry in a very long time.
4:41
[SPEAKER_01]: So I gave you the book.
4:42
[SPEAKER_01]: But, well, here's the question.
4:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that such a bad thing that you haven't been able to cry about some?
4:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it a bad thing?
4:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Is it a bad thing?
4:55
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you think?
4:56
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think it's a bad thing.
4:58
[SPEAKER_00]: So how do you express yourself?
5:01
[SPEAKER_01]: It won't work.
5:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Your soul, how do you express your soul?
5:04
[SPEAKER_01]: How do I express my soul?
5:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because I've emotions, bro.
5:08
[SPEAKER_00]: So how do you express them?
5:11
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you express this appointment, sad?
5:13
[SPEAKER_01]: If I'm sad, yeah.
5:18
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't really remember that so I said like the sad something's not working out frustrated maybe yeah I don't I don't I don't know if I know the I don't know if I know the emotion of sad I would say frustrated upset I don't know if I know that emotion was it cost you to say sad though like to be said I am sad what does it cost you explain what sad means
5:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so we doing that right now I'm just saying just so you just call me back We wouldn't have to just bleed all over the audience What my my my son at a seizure I'm Frustrated and upset and I guess that would be sad because I was the last time I cried and that was a that was a that was a good cry But he got out of it and I'm like oh who?
6:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I was happy that he got out of it, so it went from frustration to grateful that I still got my son.
6:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
6:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Sad.
6:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm struggling with that one.
6:17
[SPEAKER_00]: So I would say you were sad with that situation, but also you could have a bad day, bro.
6:23
[SPEAKER_00]: You could have a deal that's supposed to come through and it just doesn't and you did all the things.
6:29
[SPEAKER_01]: That's frustration.
6:30
[SPEAKER_00]: It is frustration, but it's also on a sole level.
6:33
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't really sad that this happened.
6:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And so the thing is, you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to say that.
6:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, man, the man, we ain't really like, hey, what up, man, are you doing today?
6:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Bro, I'm saying.
6:45
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you don't know that, that's true.
6:48
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a tough day.
6:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And then so if you're in front of your therapist mind, even like, well, speak for your emotions.
6:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's emotion, we obviously, emotions will.
6:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah?
6:57
[SPEAKER_01]: I think so.
6:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And the emotions will is everything.
7:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So you can just kind of Pinpointed if they got it, they can put up also, but you can pinpoint what you're feeling Because you could say, you know, because they're only like what five or six Primary And then there are branches off of that God, Lee, so the major, most yeah feelings will the feelings will bro
7:23
[SPEAKER_01]: So the major emotions are, I feel happy.
7:27
[SPEAKER_00]: So in the middle, it's like, was it five or six in that one?
7:30
[SPEAKER_01]: One, two, it was a happy trust, fear, surprise.
7:35
[SPEAKER_01]: But a happy trust, fear, surprise, sad, disgust, anger, anticipation.
7:41
[SPEAKER_01]: So a lot of them on that one.
7:43
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like eight.
7:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, cool.
7:45
[SPEAKER_01]: It says a different wheel.
7:46
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a different matter.
7:48
[SPEAKER_01]: So most of them, let me give you this other wheel, because I didn't agree with some of the ones I just
7:53
[SPEAKER_01]: This is dumb too, fearful, angry, disgusting, look at this on the screen.
7:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Sad, happy, surprise.
8:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you blow it up to that?
8:06
[SPEAKER_00]: That's all right, bring it over.
8:07
[SPEAKER_00]: So those are the primary ones, okay?
8:10
[SPEAKER_00]: In the middle, at least like six or seven.
8:11
[SPEAKER_01]: It's bad.
8:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, okay, okay.
8:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, so those are the primary ones.
8:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And so if you don't really,
8:18
[SPEAKER_00]: If you can't really grab one of those, you say, well, I don't know if it's that, you go up the wheel so that one's in the middle are the roots, the ones on the outside, no, no, the ones in the center are the roots, the one on the outside, or in the middle, those are like the branches, those are like the branches, and then the ones on the outside of the leaves.
8:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you will feel a lot of different things,
8:47
[SPEAKER_00]: So you'll see a whole lot of those different, you know, what's it vilified, infuriated, annoyed.
8:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And then, you know, so furious and jealous are off of the branch of what's that one?
9:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Mad?
9:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that mad that we're, yeah?
9:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Mad.
9:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And the mad is off of the branch, the root of anger.
9:08
[SPEAKER_00]: OK. That's how you could tell how you feel.
9:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So when we say speak for your emotions,
9:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so when we say, speak from your emotions, all right, that's what we're saying.
9:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Speak from what emotion are you feeling, because it really brings you close to yourself, man and truth, most man are not vulnerable, man.
9:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Because when we say vulnerability, that's a demenroidal most.
9:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that's telling you, that's me saying to you, I'm willing to be weak and I'm willing to be weak and I don't know what you might do with what I just said.
9:43
[SPEAKER_00]: That's vulnerable, and most of us don't live in that space.
9:47
[SPEAKER_00]: We could probably count on one hand with fingers Left about how many people we're vulnerable with Is that is that a true statement would you believe that?
9:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I agree with that.
9:58
[SPEAKER_00]: How many are you vulnerable with?
9:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I Think I'm vulnerable with a lot of people interesting What does that look like?
10:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I am very open with what I'm going through, where I am what I'm thinking at the moment.
10:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm very open with that.
10:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Sounds like transparent, but that's something vulnerable.
10:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I can get what you on that.
10:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Vulnerable.
10:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Vulnerable meat.
10:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, okay.
10:27
[SPEAKER_01]: So vulnerability means that someone, okay, explain vulnerability.
10:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't explain vulnerability.
10:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, vulnerability is more like a. I mean, it's what I say.
10:40
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like being able to be open-hearted, open-hearted, and knowing that if you could hurt me, you could hurt me with what I'm about to tell you.
10:53
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm vulnerable enough to say,
10:57
[SPEAKER_00]: But I trust you enough to say I trust you with my vulnerability.
11:01
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a dumb.
11:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Why would you ever want to be at a point where you're open to someone potentially hurting you?
11:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
11:10
[SPEAKER_01]: That doesn't make sense to me.
11:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
11:13
[SPEAKER_00]: so there are four major valves that flow out of our hearts.
11:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
11:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And, but when you're talking about from a soul level, everything that flows out of us and even into us is a one-lane highway bro.
11:33
[SPEAKER_00]: So one-lane street.
11:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you block one, you block all of them.
11:39
[SPEAKER_00]: You understand?
11:41
[SPEAKER_00]: You block
11:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And so if you are thinking that I am one way with my wife, but you block and one, if I'm one way with my friends, but you block and one, you're blocking all of them.
11:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And so instead of loving from the heart, you're transacting from the head.
12:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And many of us, we don't love, man, we transact.
12:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Love is like surgery.
12:07
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what what Jesus did for us is so powerful.
12:11
[SPEAKER_00]: He put himself in a position to love people who may not ever love him back.
12:16
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's a strength, because the source of that love does not come from you, it comes from him.
12:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And so when I'm being vulnerable and I have to learn to be vulnerable, with my friends with my wife or whoever I choose to be vulnerable with, that's a act of war.
12:35
[SPEAKER_00]: It's an extreme act of volition because everything in me doesn't wanna do it.
12:39
[SPEAKER_00]: But I know that the possibilities and the strength lie and me presenting the world with an open heart, even if it hurts.
12:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Give me the benefit of that.
12:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't get, that's what I'm saying.
12:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't understand why, why?
12:54
[SPEAKER_01]: So when Samson told that woman, his, yo, my strength is in my hair.
13:02
[SPEAKER_01]: After,
13:03
[SPEAKER_01]: He already told her, like, he aren't through all paths.
13:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And he saw, yo, she is trying to harm me.
13:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't understand why anyone would ever tell them the secrets of killing him, because it doesn't benefit me in any way.
13:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think you should tell everybody the secret to killing you.
13:20
[SPEAKER_01]: But a person, what is the benefit of... What comes from the heart reaches the heart?
13:26
[SPEAKER_00]: And if your heart is clogged, I may be just talking to you all day long, but you never feel me.
13:31
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't feel me.
13:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're in the space of wanting people to feel your heart, you've got to speak from your heart.
13:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of us have a hard, hard disconnection.
13:42
[SPEAKER_00]: We've tried to love for my head, but not for my heart.
13:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to go to deep with you, but that's what you do.
13:51
[SPEAKER_00]: You do that.
13:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Explain it because you got it because you because you have a good heart, bro.
13:57
[SPEAKER_00]: You just protect it You protect it.
14:00
[SPEAKER_00]: There's something wrong with it.
14:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but what I'm saying is
14:05
[SPEAKER_00]: what also is in your heart, the thing that could also hurt you, what you feel could hurt you, which it ain't going to hurt you.
14:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's just, it ain't going to kill you, I'm going to like that.
14:14
[SPEAKER_00]: But what is in the inner sources of your heart, the resources of your heart, many can help so many more people than anything in our head, good.
14:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, best reason why sometimes I don't know the right thing to do when I'm with someone, but if I'm just with them and I'm present, they feel as though I
14:35
[SPEAKER_00]: when you're there, man, like, when you live in from an open heart, it's powerful, it's powerful.
14:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I, that's what I'm saying.
14:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I think I'm speaking from my heart.
14:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, whatever's going on in my heart, I think I'm speaking from that.
14:59
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I mean?
15:02
[SPEAKER_01]: It seems so complex and maybe because I haven't done it, I don't really understand the language of... Something about it like this, what will it cost you?
15:14
[SPEAKER_00]: What will it cost you to open your heart?
15:16
[SPEAKER_01]: What will it cost me to open my heart?
15:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
15:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, that question's coming from assuming that my heart isn't open, and from my perspective.
15:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Copy.
15:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I think mine is.
15:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, good.
15:28
[SPEAKER_00]: What would it cost you to open your heart from my perspective?
15:31
[SPEAKER_01]: From what you're saying yeah, what would it call it it costs me to open my heart and again, I think you would hurt Okay, pain Blackmail people using it for leverage
15:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Embarrassing, baby.
15:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, that's if you do it to everybody.
15:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody, Bible says to God, you're hard.
15:58
[SPEAKER_00]: So then say, God, you're hard.
15:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, be a biblical brother.
16:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm being biblical, do you?
16:03
[SPEAKER_00]: But there are people that are in your inner circle, that need a different version of that, that version that says, I trust you enough and I love you enough.
16:15
[SPEAKER_00]: to put myself in a vulnerable position with you, that you actually could hurt me.
16:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And that, what that does to that person, is that let's them know just how much you care, that you didn't have to do that.
16:28
[SPEAKER_00]: You chose to put yourself in a vulnerable position.
16:31
[SPEAKER_00]: You're corroded arteries, you know.
16:34
[SPEAKER_00]: That's one of the reasons why, you know, when you talking to somebody, and if they feel uncomfortable, they'll cross their arms.
16:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't feel uncomfortable.
16:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just saying, I'm just giving you a bite.
16:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel uncomfortable.
16:44
[SPEAKER_00]: That's fine.
16:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think about it.
16:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Let
16:58
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to feel uncomfortable.
17:01
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to feel uncomfortable.
17:02
[SPEAKER_00]: It's fine.
17:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I think you look very relaxed.
17:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Never seen the person's relaxed.
17:08
[SPEAKER_01]: And for 41 years or 41 today.
17:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Happy birthday, bro.
17:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, brother.
17:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Happy birthday.
17:13
[SPEAKER_01]: For 41 years, I've been who I am and it worked out.
17:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Wonderful.
17:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so good.
17:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not here to tell you that it hasn't.
17:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I think.
17:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to be like,
17:25
[SPEAKER_00]: David Chan's in many ways.
17:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm asking you, would a good cry once a week?
17:33
[SPEAKER_01]: I desire, yes.
17:34
[SPEAKER_00]: It would benefit you.
17:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I believe so.
17:37
[SPEAKER_00]: So, if it would benefit you, why not move in that direction?
17:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, how to do that.
17:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
17:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, just force yourself to cry?
17:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Or is it no?
17:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think something that's blocking it.
17:50
[SPEAKER_00]: It's something that's bl- you don't make
17:55
[SPEAKER_01]: to myself to yourself yeah you don't trust you and there's a part in you so it's different parts you got protectors I'm on the I need you right go ahead and get you that's my best I don't know where I think he's enjoying the conversation though yes okay okay okay okay okay okay okay I know what you said but no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
18:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, so, I don't, I don't, I, I was, I was listening to a guy, right, quick, and I was, I was listening to my, my, I was on a panel, actually, and this guy was telling his story and he started crying.
18:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And I remember looking up and saying, Dang, I want to do that.
18:43
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you do that.
18:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
18:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Fast forward.
18:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I was doing an acting class with Ernestine, like from her house.
18:53
[SPEAKER_01]: It was just her and I was like, man, I don't want to get an acting, if you don't.
18:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And going through the process, she was like, bro, you need to like, like,
19:06
[SPEAKER_01]: embody the moment and I know how and she said, yeah, I can cry.
19:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, how you do that?
19:14
[SPEAKER_01]: You're just on the spot.
19:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Just cool and cry.
19:17
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, oh, that's so interesting.
19:20
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what a good cry even feels like anymore.
19:23
[SPEAKER_01]: I've had a weapon since I was 10.
19:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So, well, I mean, I don't think you need to get a weapon to cry.
19:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I've just said it was a last experience.
19:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's empathy, bro.
19:35
[SPEAKER_00]: You just have empathy in the moment, and you're experiencing the moment through their lens, and it will cause you to have a reaction.
19:45
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no.
19:47
[SPEAKER_00]: having like no effect, like no reaction at all when a reaction is probably necessary.
19:55
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what they call them?
19:56
[SPEAKER_00]: What's that?
19:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Psychopaths.
19:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Hmm.
20:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you a psychopath?
20:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Not a psychopath?
20:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, okay, all right.
20:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I admit the most emotion that I can.
20:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not a, oh man, really?
20:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
20:11
[SPEAKER_01]: I got some, really?
20:13
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm gonna tell you, I think this thing called a month mode one time, I took like 30 days and I just kind of was off to myself and maybe on day.
20:28
[SPEAKER_00]: five, seven, whatever, five o'clock in the morning, you know, I get up, meditate, pray.
20:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And I saw this little boy over in this dark corner.
20:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And I felt him before I saw him.
20:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And he was very gant.
20:51
[SPEAKER_00]: What do I mean?
20:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Very, you know, the cheeks, it's very skinny, you look almost emaciated.
20:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Not quite Ethiopian with the flies on eyes, but it was pretty close.
21:04
[SPEAKER_00]: But I remember him being so full of life and his eyes were so bright, his smile was so bright and it just touched me just as he was walking towards me and I remember him saying,
21:16
[SPEAKER_00]: He's smiling like, why are you smiling?
21:18
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, another kind, if you look and make movies and whatever you know to that could be a little scary, like his little skinny kid coming out with a bright eyes and he's grinning at your, you know, it's scary, but I wasn't scared.
21:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And he said, you got anything to eat?
21:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And it just hit me in my chest like, who wouldn't feed this kid?
21:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, why would nobody feed this kid?
21:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm just looking at him, I'm looking at him, I'm like, and that I realized that it was actually me.
21:52
[SPEAKER_00]: It was the part of me that I sent into exile because he was so warm and open-hearted.
22:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And he just didn't want nobody to hurt or anything, but that dude right there, I had to send away because he kept, there were other parts of me
22:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, as I moved in to talk to him more, there were other parts of me that was in there.
22:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was like, hey, no, and it shut down, I thought myself coming out of it.
22:22
[SPEAKER_00]: The thing, but I've been because I've done the training.
22:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I said, what can I just talk to him?
22:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And they said, all right, I said, can you go out of the room and let me just talk to him?
22:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And they said, no, we ain't going out the room.
22:38
[SPEAKER_00]: You can talk to him.
22:39
[SPEAKER_00]: But don't mess up, because he's the best part of us.
22:47
[SPEAKER_00]: He said, he said, he said, he's the best part of us, and I just sat there and I realized that it wasn't food that he was lacking, it was love.
23:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't love him, I judged him, although he was the most loving part of me, I judged him because he would be that sucker.
23:12
[SPEAKER_00]: He'll be the one they call gay.
23:14
[SPEAKER_00]: He was the one that people would look down on in clowns.
23:17
[SPEAKER_00]: So I just sent him to exile.
23:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And then the other part of me who I had to become showed up.
23:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And so instead of loving people, man, from that part of me, I just started handling people differently.
23:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was kind.
23:30
[SPEAKER_00]: It was cool, but it wasn't from my heart.
23:33
[SPEAKER_00]: So in that day, I just sat with him, I told him I loved him.
23:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I said, man, I ain't never going nowhere.
23:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a check-in on you.
23:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, I just sat with him, and he was, I just was a beautiful thing, man, you could see.
23:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I realized that I don't show people that version of me.
24:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Cause I ain't like it, cause I could get hurt.
24:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I just realized how much of my life and I'm living on defense.
24:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was the thing that kind of started turning things around for me.
24:12
[SPEAKER_01]: that right there.
24:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
24:14
[SPEAKER_01]: How you do that?
24:15
[SPEAKER_00]: What's that?
24:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I could feel it like something really touched you in this moment from a thought of conversation.
24:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
24:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
24:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, when I when I see that, I'm like,
24:28
[SPEAKER_01]: I wonder what that's like because I just don't I don't I don't have the tool.
24:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't I don't know if I have I should be like emotional tool.
24:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I should thought my my my my my the ducts in my eyes was messed up I just thought I could my mama died and I and cry my mama died.
24:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I didn't grow the light And I just like cry and I couldn't you know, but it really is about allowing yourself To be in the moment you don't have to be strong for anybody
24:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, here talking about it, I just felt the love from that kid, from me, and I realized that it was me, and I realized that I don't give people that version, because that's the most powerful, potent version of me.
25:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I just didn't give it to people, even the men that I helped, they never got that until I did the work on me.
25:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, I mean, I didn't, I wouldn't cry every week after that, but it did help me.
25:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember when I was 22 years old, had a dream I was driving, and it was falling the leaves were coming down, and I just thought about the majesty of God and the dream I started crying.
25:39
[SPEAKER_00]: like the Densail tier, like, you know, but it was so touching.
25:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And I woke up at a dream on like, how does that happen?
25:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you were like, what, how you doing that?
25:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I liked it, but I just, I didn't know what it was and what's it?
25:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is two years ago, I really started.
25:57
[SPEAKER_00]: So four, two, two, two, one, he'd some odd years, I don't know, I mean, my math ain't math, but it was a long time after that.
26:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Then I started being able to,
26:08
[SPEAKER_00]: be vulnerable enough to cry.
26:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Jay, be cry.
26:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Be cry for it.
26:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I know you be cry.
26:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Jay, star, cry.
26:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't see it.
26:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Be cry a little bit.
26:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Jay, star, don't cry.
26:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you trying to?
26:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
26:26
[SPEAKER_01]: It do for a good cry.
26:28
[SPEAKER_01]: That was you, man.
26:33
[SPEAKER_01]: So you probably or it's 21 out of you now, you're 30.
26:36
[SPEAKER_01]: So you haven't crawled about nine years.
26:38
[SPEAKER_01]: You be correct?
26:39
[SPEAKER_01]: You be correct?
26:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my gosh.
26:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm only asking the men because I feel like any women here don't cry.
26:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't be correct.
26:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, be correct.
26:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Not once a week.
26:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll offer another.
26:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, when you meditate every day, you know, any lady, no science is once a week, but just like if you meditate every day and you in that space, it's gone, it's gone happen.
27:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Like sometimes, even when I'm... Like, oh yeah, sometimes, even when I'm journaling, like something will hit a nerve, and I'll just start ballerning.
27:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey!
27:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I will, it will just be like, I'll feel it well enough inside, and it'll just, if, even sometimes,
27:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I could just be thinking about something and it'll just trigger and I'll just sit there and I'll blow my room or I'll sit there depend on what's going on if I'm in the midst of making dinner.
27:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll have a silent cry on my own or whatever the case may be.
27:39
[SPEAKER_02]: But yeah.
27:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Hmm.
27:43
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, so what I got to do, what do I have to do?
27:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, you're even therapy?
27:51
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
27:54
[SPEAKER_02]: We have two.
27:56
[SPEAKER_02]: They got something to add.
28:00
[SPEAKER_02]: It's been in the hole though.
28:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I was keep going all the way to it.
28:02
[SPEAKER_01]: It's all good.
28:02
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
28:03
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
28:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have a therapist.
28:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Why?
28:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
28:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
28:08
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
28:08
[SPEAKER_01]: What do I have?
28:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
28:09
[SPEAKER_00]: What do I have?
28:09
[SPEAKER_01]: What do I have?
28:10
[SPEAKER_01]: What do I have?
28:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
28:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Man, this is light.
28:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I compared to where your therapist.
28:15
[SPEAKER_00]: He's going to go all the way to your childhood.
28:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's going to shock you because what you think it may not be it.
28:23
[SPEAKER_01]: I've gone to one and you know, this guy, he been doing this for 40 years.
28:28
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
28:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Older cats and you broken.
28:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Come on, man, you're gonna break me, brother.
28:37
[SPEAKER_01]: But he said he said, bruh, he said, he said, I've been doing this for 40 years.
28:41
[SPEAKER_01]: He said, you are the most, what do you say?
28:46
[SPEAKER_01]: A emotionally guarded person I've ever met or something like that.
28:50
[SPEAKER_01]: And when he said it, I think that's what I photo my arms like, right, and I'm wrong.
28:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you wish you was so unbothered and positive as I am?
28:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's how I approached it.
29:02
[SPEAKER_01]: So many things that I talked about I could do it on the day and it was this young lady when I was in sixth grade She would cry on a time She was just a cry she was a cry always cried.
29:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I always looked there like you.
29:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I always cry a row of stuff with you That boy
29:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure she was crying at home.
29:26
[SPEAKER_01]: She cried everywhere.
29:28
[SPEAKER_01]: She cried a little.
29:28
[SPEAKER_01]: She could have never known.
29:29
[SPEAKER_01]: She could have bad, great stuff, right?
29:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my God.
29:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And maybe this is some of the childhood stuff that I experience.
29:37
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, I want to be that.
29:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to cry, baby.
29:40
[SPEAKER_01]: But on the other end is, I got into personal development and I realized everything's going to be okay.
29:46
[SPEAKER_01]: That's some point.
29:47
[SPEAKER_00]: You can transact your way through life, man.
29:49
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to feel.
29:50
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to.
29:51
[SPEAKER_00]: but you're going to pay that bill at some point.
29:54
[SPEAKER_00]: That bill has come to do at some point.
29:57
[SPEAKER_00]: That bill has come to do at some point.
29:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm telling you, I would rather it happen in my five-in meditation.
30:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm crying like, what's the man on that?
30:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Heeeey, what did I got?
30:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'd be there because that's exactly how it was.
30:10
[SPEAKER_00]: For like 30 minutes.
30:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I was right, yep.
30:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
30:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And then just thinking about it, we'll take me back there.
30:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I did a podcast that same day and I was trying to explain to them what happened.
30:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't get it out of it You feel like not eating something like that.
30:25
[SPEAKER_01]: So you got a therapist that did that?
30:28
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no.
30:28
[SPEAKER_01]: It just happened one day.
30:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I was yeah Well, I just wait for that joint to it.
30:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I was reading but I was reading a lot of uh right you're the one you've been waiting for it's Dick Schwartz right That's Dick Schwartz Richard Schwartz.
30:40
[SPEAKER_01]: So wild Dave
30:42
[SPEAKER_00]: A man, let's, Richard Schwartz.
30:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So, right, right, Richard Schwartz.
30:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, Richard Schwartz.
30:48
[SPEAKER_00]: You're the one you've been waiting for, no bad parts.
30:51
[SPEAKER_00]: It made me really great books, but so I just really engulf myself into his books along with my therapist and it just, it just happened one day.
31:00
[SPEAKER_01]: How is your life been better since you become a cryer?
31:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you a cryer?
31:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Would you consider yourself?
31:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I would say I'm a cryer.
31:09
[SPEAKER_01]: So you started to promote more.
31:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't think it was tight as I used to be, I don't think I'm just tight like emotionally tight as I used to be.
31:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I could be present with you in the moment.
31:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was the worst person to be around when you're crying.
31:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Why?
31:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Because one's supposed to do.
31:31
[SPEAKER_00]: What do I do in my hands?
31:32
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm terrible.
31:35
[SPEAKER_00]: They're okay.
31:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And then they try to, you know, I'm trying to comfort somebody and it's just, it's terrible.
31:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
31:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Man, you're gonna be all right, bro.
31:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Get that Rege Pat, like you meant podcast, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I definitely, uh, I will change the B.T.
31:50
[SPEAKER_01]: in response.
31:53
[SPEAKER_00]: You just say, you just say your head, man, in a, in a, in a wrong way.
31:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Like somebody, somebody passes, I don't know how to say, man, how do you say, how would I, how would I reply without assistance, it will be like, um,
32:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, I'm sorry to hear that, but it can't hear that, man, it can't hear me draw it out on the text.
32:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so sorry to hear that, my prayers are with you.
32:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, all right, well, maybe, hold on to the, maybe when they read it, they're emotional side actually hears my heart, because it's coming from the heart.
32:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I get it.
32:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I just don't know how to comfort someone necessarily.
32:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So, Renee Brown, she's the foremost authority and vulnerability.
32:40
[SPEAKER_00]: She says her man to kind of cheer me up.
32:41
[SPEAKER_01]: That's fabulous.
32:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Renee Brown?
32:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
32:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh yeah.
32:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm surprised how big you're in up here.
32:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm surprised how big you're in up here.
32:49
[SPEAKER_00]: David.
32:51
[SPEAKER_00]: She said, if you
32:53
[SPEAKER_00]: If you attach judgment to receiving love, you subconsciously attach judgment to giving it as well.
33:02
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll say it again, I was lost.
33:03
[SPEAKER_00]: If you attach judgment to receiving love, like it's hard for you to receive love, it's hard for you to let somebody in, then you subconsciously are also attaching judgment to the love that you give.
33:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, so I'm judging someone when I give a love if I feel judged when I'm receiving love.
33:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just gonna say I'm necessarily judged, but if you feel, I ain't, you feel uncomfortable when people love on you.
33:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Like why are you doing that?
33:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I ain't really, I don't, I love you bro, thank you, terrible response by the way.
33:39
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what you would do, you be like, I love you man, thank you, thank you, thank you.
33:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I love you, too.
33:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's cut, see.
33:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I give a little way, way, way you're facing the whole, way you're holding your tight breath.
33:55
[SPEAKER_02]: This morning, so for example, morning meet up with this community.
33:57
[SPEAKER_02]: We, we poured into him and you could see the uncomfortableity.
34:01
[SPEAKER_02]: No matter what, like he fidgeted and there you go.
34:05
[SPEAKER_02]: There you go.
34:05
[SPEAKER_01]: There you go.
34:06
[SPEAKER_02]: There you go.
34:07
[SPEAKER_01]: There you go.
34:07
[SPEAKER_01]: There you go.
34:08
[SPEAKER_01]: It's true.
34:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Even the birthday song, you got to sit there looking down.
34:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Did they want to sing the part at the area like I'll also take the the medical Meditate uh, I don't know if I'm meditating properly.
34:26
[SPEAKER_01]: How you doing?
34:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay No, how how how do you so so in essence?
34:34
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not so much about not talking, because it's probably gonna be impossible, born like focusing in, and you become in very grateful gratitude, what you said you have, and for me, I just have, because I have ADHD, I have my binaural beats playing in my ears with my noise cancel headphones on, and that just stops a lot of the hot brain that's going.
35:01
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you say it's a what beats by the world beats specific type of music that will block out it's one frequency and speed of a beat playing on this side and another one on this side and whatever that does it makes you focus more really yeah I work like that too You text me that real quick because I want to forget this.
35:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I won't forget it.
35:20
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll give you a phone.
35:22
[SPEAKER_00]: It's down on the floor.
35:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Just grab real quick.
35:24
[SPEAKER_00]: You mean grab it.
35:25
[SPEAKER_01]: You do it too.
35:27
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to send it to him?
35:29
[SPEAKER_00]: By Norel.
35:29
[SPEAKER_00]: By Norel.
35:30
[SPEAKER_00]: By Norel.
35:31
[SPEAKER_00]: By Norel.
35:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you listen to by Norel beats?
35:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
35:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Anybody else listen to by Norel more beats?
35:41
[SPEAKER_00]: By Norel.
35:41
[SPEAKER_00]: By Norel.
35:42
[SPEAKER_01]: By Norel.
35:43
[SPEAKER_00]: By Norel.
35:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Fixed Jesus.
35:48
[SPEAKER_00]: By Norel.
35:49
[SPEAKER_01]: We got, we got new colors.
35:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh, not new.
35:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
35:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Come on, y'all.
35:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, we haven't made the curve all in.
35:58
[SPEAKER_02]: You can go ahead to head over to socialfreakhotline.com, whether you are a gentle man or a woman.
36:06
[UNKNOWN]: You are more than welcome to come on here.
36:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, come here, cry.
36:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm sorry.
36:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry.
36:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry.
36:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry.
36:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, come here, cry.
36:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm dumping.
36:15
[SPEAKER_02]: But we would definitely love to hear your thoughts and things of that nature.
36:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I do want to go ahead and bring up something that has been mentioned in the chat a couple of times.
36:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry.
36:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Right here.
36:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, bring it back.
36:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
36:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Make sure that door is closed all the way down.
36:32
[SPEAKER_01]: ADHD, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't vote for out for the other empty stomach, right?
36:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Take your time.
36:39
[SPEAKER_01]: It's all right.
36:42
[SPEAKER_02]: It's all right.
36:43
[SPEAKER_02]: There's something that happens that they keep blocking out.
36:44
[SPEAKER_01]: They gotta be.
36:45
[SPEAKER_01]: You right, because they were like showing the love.
36:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like,
36:50
[SPEAKER_02]: That's my dad.
36:52
[SPEAKER_02]: That's my dad.
36:55
[SPEAKER_02]: That's my dad.
36:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Thanks.
37:00
[SPEAKER_02]: No, but there's something that is primarily by gentleman that are in the chat currently, and ours to vulnerability being a weakness.
37:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
37:10
[SPEAKER_02]: And or even it being a trap.
37:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
37:15
[SPEAKER_02]: So what is your thoughts on that?
37:19
[UNKNOWN]: When is your table at?
37:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, you have to choose who you are going to give certain levels of vulnerability to.
37:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Like everybody can get for the most part my transparency.
37:34
[SPEAKER_00]: My vulnerability, no, that's a gift that I have to give to you because I trust you.
37:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody don't get my vulnerability.
37:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody will get my transparency, but not my vulnerability.
37:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I have, like you, most of us.
37:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I probably have five people that have given my vulnerability to him and it's not who you feel like you're supposed to give it to.
38:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I married to her so she automatically gives my vulnerability.
38:05
[SPEAKER_00]: All right.
38:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't live in this space of shit or I don't, don't, I live in this space of it is and at this point if she has not.
38:14
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, proven herself to be somebody I can trust to get my vulnerability.
38:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Meaning I tell you something and then later on it comes back and now you you you weaponize my vulnerability, then yeah, then you a person that I would give my due to type of person, I don't get my vulnerability.
38:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
38:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I wouldn't give me my vulnerability to because they could weaponize it.
38:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Because when they do right with it, it's a strength, man.
38:34
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a strength.
38:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Because now they cover in you in ways that you would not be covered.
38:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Like they used to you see me enough to be able to know when you got me.
38:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I would be at, it was time I wouldn't go out by myself.
38:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I know me, you know.
38:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And I say, well, hey man, listen, I go out.
38:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't like to go by myself.
39:00
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't understand.
39:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Going out by myself?
39:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
39:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, well, I had a, a past of being outside.
39:07
[SPEAKER_00]: not just on the porch.
39:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Take me through there, take me through there.
39:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what that mean, but I just like this song.
39:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I saw, so I so to make sure that I cover myself and I don't be outside again.
39:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I bring with me somebody who respects me.
39:26
[SPEAKER_00]: But also doesn't compartmentalize me and it's just being a good dude because I'm the good dude And I'm that other nigga too There's an so I'm the saint and the savage and so I'd try to have people around me to make sure that the saint is watered And the savage is is kept in the cage until it's time for him to show up and there are times for him to show up Hey, do y'all appreciate your man.
39:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I love you too, David
39:55
[SPEAKER_01]: I love you too, and I love you too, man.
40:01
[SPEAKER_01]: He was waiting for me, I didn't give it to you.
40:04
[SPEAKER_00]: You didn't give it to me, yeah.
40:05
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're from it, you probably would keep Parker.
40:07
[SPEAKER_00]: He would look you nice, hold you by your elbows, and be like, he brought love you.
40:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not, yeah, he was just here.
40:14
[SPEAKER_00]: You're like, yeah, yeah, cool, hey, say it back, bro.
40:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I love you too.
40:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I ain't making me hurt.
40:20
[SPEAKER_01]: No, you know, that's a big part of it.
40:23
[SPEAKER_00]: That's cute.
40:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, hey man, listen, I mean, I'm loving and trying to do that, but I love a more dynamic than my elbows go.
40:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate you, man.
40:34
[SPEAKER_01]: And this conversation is needed.
40:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just glad it's over.
40:37
[SPEAKER_01]: I was just like, I was just like, I know, I'm not doing that.
40:40
[SPEAKER_01]: No, thank you so much.
40:41
[SPEAKER_01]: This conversation needs to be had.
40:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Congratulations on the message that you're giving, because thank you.
40:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I think in this conversation, I felt something.
40:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think I feel like I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think I'm doing this, I don't think
41:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd be able to adopt a spirit tonight.
41:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, spirit.
41:23
[SPEAKER_01]: OK. You're wearing a wig?
41:24
[SPEAKER_01]: She's dope.
41:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
41:25
[SPEAKER_01]: That was the one time where I actually was on the podcast.
41:28
[SPEAKER_01]: But it was me and Donnie, so we could really get into it.
41:31
[SPEAKER_01]: But I'm actually looking forward to that conversation tonight.
41:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
41:35
[SPEAKER_00]: You're in for sure.
41:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Love you, man.
41:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know, I love you too.
41:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I said, I feel it.
41:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Not thank you for that.
41:41
[SPEAKER_00]: You've always been that dude.
41:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know, the thing about it, man, we all have blind spots, bro.
41:48
[SPEAKER_00]: All of us do.
41:49
[SPEAKER_00]: No matter how high or how low we feel like we are, we have blind spots.
41:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And the thing I learned about blind spots is, it's a blind spot, because you can't see it.
41:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And you can't see your own blind spots.
42:01
[SPEAKER_00]: In my car, I have blind side detection because I can't see my own blind spots.
42:07
[SPEAKER_00]: But you guys have somebody else pointing out.
42:09
[SPEAKER_00]: But what I didn't know is that, as you grow, your blind spots, that blind spot goes away, because you see it.
42:20
[SPEAKER_00]: They're more, I had to grow to even see that blind, see that that was a blind spot.
42:25
[SPEAKER_00]: So they won't ever go away.
42:26
[SPEAKER_00]: You will always have blind spots for the rest of your life.
42:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you do community well, then you always got somebody who's got you back.
42:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, my brother.
42:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
42:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
42:36
[SPEAKER_01]: And I genuinely mean that because these conversations, I specifically called you, because I don't want to talk about content.
42:43
[SPEAKER_01]: I knew you can offer a different perspective because I'm getting 41 now.
42:49
[SPEAKER_01]: He's a cop.
42:50
[SPEAKER_03]: Dang him.
42:52
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
42:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what a stick isn't the giggles about, right?
42:56
[UNKNOWN]: Bye.
42:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, y'all already knew that so I don't know why y'all it's the Kevin huh, but I'm getting Just the Kevin huh, not a cheeto Damn right You know first of all that special is fire the camera is special, but anyway, I actually really I think more about these conversations than I did when I was in my 30s so I see it my we just got a dog which is crazy
43:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I, I, I, I certainly told my family we're not going to dog.
43:29
[SPEAKER_01]: And here we are.
43:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Why is that?
43:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Because we're all like dogs.
43:33
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't like dogs.
43:34
[SPEAKER_01]: I like animals.
43:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Period.
43:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Really?
43:36
[SPEAKER_01]: The children stopped the nest with the children.
43:38
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you feel about it?
43:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
43:40
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry.
43:40
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you feel about the dog, yeah?
43:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, dog school.
43:45
[SPEAKER_00]: What kind of dog?
43:46
[SPEAKER_01]: A shit zoo.
43:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you got a lot going on, brother.
43:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but my daughter.
43:52
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so in love with this dog.
43:56
[SPEAKER_01]: My son, too, I just never, it's like, she loves this dog.
44:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I forgot where I was going with the whole dog thing.
44:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I just don't make it, so I was going to share.
44:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I mean, you don't think about it like this.
44:11
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to when they get older, how's your oldest?
44:14
[SPEAKER_01]: She's 15.
44:16
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to lay way down the road.
44:19
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to have grandchildren.
44:20
[SPEAKER_00]: and the grandchildren are going to get the best version of you.
44:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
44:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Then anybody, cool new wife.
44:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
44:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Straight up.
44:30
[SPEAKER_00]: But it happened.
44:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I know I was going.
44:31
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, rather dog daddy, I'm like, nope.
44:34
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even want to rather dog.
44:36
[SPEAKER_01]: But that's cool.
44:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Katie, thank you so much, man.
44:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Please let everybody know how they can get in touch with you, how they can, oh, and how they can get their podcast produced, too.
44:45
[SPEAKER_01]: You got the dopeest studio.
44:46
[SPEAKER_01]: However.
44:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh man, thank you so podcast so content factory dot com is where we create remarkable content will help you create remarkable content remarkable simply means worthy of making a remark about so
45:00
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what we want to do.
45:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And you can hit us up on our website, contentfactory.com, k-o-n, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's
45:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Hopefully it'll be out this month and we're going to go pretty strong in the whole man of certified program.
45:31
[SPEAKER_00]: We help men develop into the best version of themselves and it is definitely not for the week.
45:39
[SPEAKER_00]: This is what you want.
45:40
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, we can make it.
45:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Good.
45:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't like the way you, I don't like you.
45:47
[SPEAKER_00]: This is like, I look at you and say we can, I don't believe you.
45:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't believe you.
45:51
[SPEAKER_00]: We just got some blind spots, but I love you anyway.
45:54
[SPEAKER_01]: I love you too.
45:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Come here.