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The Fifth Hour: The Last Noble American Pastime · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Kabooms.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
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  Speaker 2: with Ben Maller starts right now.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with me, Ben
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Mahler and Danny g Radio and a happy, happy Saturday
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: to you. The college Football Saturday. We are hanging out
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: early on this thirtieth day of August a massive college
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: football game. It's on Fox early this morning. As we're
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: doing this here, Danny Ohio State, the buck Guys, the
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: reigning champions of college football, and the Texas Longhorns. So
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: we're going to counter program that because most people who
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: are going to listen to this podcast are going to
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: be listening after that game is long gone, and so
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: we're just going to do the normal Fifth Hour podcast here. However,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: we will be watching. I might take a nap and
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: go back and watch the second half of the game.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: It's rather early, but Nonetheless, Danny, we're ready to go.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Here on this podcast, we have Olympic like daycare with
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: no care and a rear window wisdom situation. But we
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: begin with is now. On the previous edition of the
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Fifth Hour back on Friday, I told some stories about
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: going to Vegas, and I have been going to Las
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Vegas for a long time. I can't believe how long
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: it's been. Now over thirty years, I believe I've been
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: going to Las Vegas. I have seen seen it all,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: the old mob era residue. Now, when I was younger
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  Speaker 1: and I was a kid, my parents would take me
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  Speaker 1: to Vegas, and you still, even as a you knew
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: that there was some there was some like rat pack
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  Speaker 1: type stuff going on. There was still some of the
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  Speaker 1: remnants of old Vegas, the nostalgia. And over the years
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  Speaker 1: we've had the mega resorts that you can go to
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  Speaker 1: Vegas and all of a sudden you're supposed to be
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: in Perie or New York or Rome or wherever in
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: the middle of the desert, which I think should have
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: stopped human life sometime, should have stopped supporting human life
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  Speaker 1: sometime back, I don't know, in the nineteen forties or
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: something like that or fifties. But anyway, I watched Vegas
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  Speaker 1: turn from a place where you go there, you get
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  Speaker 1: a free drink, you can play the penny slots, and
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  Speaker 1: now you go there and they want you to pay
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: twenty dollars to put ice in your water glass and
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: fifty dollars if you want to view of the kitchen.
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  Speaker 1: So where are the white women at.
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  Speaker 3: Ben When we were kids, our moms were able to
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: get photographed nude by Sammy Davis Junior.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and Sinatra would make sure the photos were okay.
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  Speaker 1: But it's the biggest scam.
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  Speaker 3: And I love Vegas pulled our moms out of the crowd.
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  Speaker 1: I know, I know it was Listen, the main issue,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: my biggest problem with Vegas. And again I like it.
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  Speaker 1: You know, it's a good place to visit all that stuff.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: The biggest scam is this parking thing. Now. I was
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: told years ago the reason they charged for parking in
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Vegas is because the hockey team, the NHL. You can
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: blame Gary Bettman. When they moved the NHL team, the
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: expansion team went to Vegas. They're like, well, every team
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  Speaker 1: has to get revenue from parking, and we can't get
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  Speaker 1: any revenue. Because the arena is right behind the MGM,
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  Speaker 1: right across from like New York, New York to that area.
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  Speaker 1: MGM's across the street. People are just gonna park free.
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  Speaker 1: We're not gonna get revenue. Said, fine, we're gonna charge
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: for parking at the hotels around the arena, and then
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: the other people, well, people are gonna park further away,
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: they're gonna walk. Well, okay, then we have to charge
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  Speaker 1: parking for the all the other hotels and so. But
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: parking is it's got to be the least clamorous word
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  Speaker 1: in the English language. And where I come from, Danny,
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  Speaker 1: it's supposed to be free. I come from a state
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  Speaker 1: with free parking. It's asphalt, it's some white paint, that's it,
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  Speaker 1: that's all. And parking lots are supposed to just kind
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  Speaker 1: of be there. You don't really pay attention to them,
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  Speaker 1: you don't pay for them. And there are places you
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  Speaker 1: believe your vehicle and go spend your money. But in
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  Speaker 1: Las Vegas right now, parking has somehow become a luxury
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  Speaker 1: commodity in Vegas, and it's embarrassing. Right on Friday, I'll
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: tell you the story, Dan. On Friday last week, I
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  Speaker 1: did the overnight show, and then we had a day
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  Speaker 1: to kind of futs around and move around, and then
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  Speaker 1: Saturday was the event. So my wife and I I
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  Speaker 1: ended up spending I showed out eighty dollars for parking
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  Speaker 1: on Friday in Vegas. Eighty dollars. I did not realize
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  Speaker 1: this because my wife booked the hotel. The hotel we
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: were staying at, which I will not name because I
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  Speaker 1: don't want to get sued. Fifty dollars to park at
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  Speaker 1: the hotel. Yeah, fifty dollars the park at the hotel.
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  Speaker 3: It's horrible.
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  Speaker 1: It's ridiculous. And so then my wife said, well, I
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: want to see a show, and so she she got
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: tickets to see this Dita vonteee. She wanted to see
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  Speaker 1: the show. And I have no interest in that show.
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  Speaker 1: But as you know, Danny, through the marriage license, I
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  Speaker 1: am required to attend. What was the show, Dita von
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  Speaker 1: Teese type, Yeah, exactly. But I was the chaperone, and
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  Speaker 1: you know, I was there kind of standing in the
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  Speaker 1: background and minding my own business and all that stuff.
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  Speaker 1: But I couldn't get over eighty dollars, Danny. I've been
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  Speaker 1: to New York many times. My brother's in her eighty
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  Speaker 1: dollars is Manhattan parking parts of Manhattan. It's it's low
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  Speaker 1: end parking, manhat eight dollars, midtown Manhattan, Valet with the
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  Speaker 1: top down type money. And this is Las Vegas, where
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  Speaker 1: last I checked, they have plenty of land there, Danny,
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  Speaker 1: I mean there's lots of land. They're not short on
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  Speaker 1: land in Vegas. They can build more parking lots if
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  Speaker 1: they want, and they have a lot of open space.
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  Speaker 1: So another part of this to tell a story with you.
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  Speaker 1: On the fifth hour here, when we got to Vegas
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  Speaker 1: after the long drive we had to do the show
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  Speaker 1: that night, my wife wanted to Valet. Now you know, Danny,
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  Speaker 1: my position on Valet parking. Yes, I have taken a
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  Speaker 1: strong position of anti Valet parking. She wanted, he always
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  Speaker 1: wants to Valet. Valet to her is civilization. It's progressed.
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  Speaker 1: To me, Valet parking is extortion with somebody wearing a
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  Speaker 1: bow tie. And I of course said no. I was
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  Speaker 1: in no mood, driving and trying to get ready for
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  Speaker 1: the show, so I pulled out my executive marriage powers
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  Speaker 1: and I said, no, not going to do it. And
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  Speaker 1: I said I will be the valet. I will take
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  Speaker 1: every single bag to the room. Don't worry about it.
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  Speaker 1: You can tip me if you want, I'll do it.
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  Speaker 1: And so here's the catch. Though my wife does not
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  Speaker 1: pack light, Danny, I think your wife's probably similar to mine.
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  Speaker 1: Like when I go somewhere by myself, I will pack
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  Speaker 1: like a college sophomore trying to get away from the
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  Speaker 1: dorm for a couple of days. I like my suit case.
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  Speaker 3: You need one backpack probably, or one tote.
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  Speaker 1: Bag exactly, one bag, a couple of shirts, a couple
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  Speaker 1: of boxer shorts, a pair of shorts, maybe a toothbrush
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  Speaker 1: if I remember, maybe deodorant if I remember. Now, my
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  Speaker 1: wife packs like she's about to circumnavigate the globe in
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  Speaker 1: a hot air balloon and she doesn't know where she's
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  Speaker 1: gonna land, whether it'll be cold or hot, and she
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  Speaker 1: needs everything, and it's just unbelievable, right, I'm pretty sure
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  Speaker 1: if she could bring an ottoman from the home, she
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  Speaker 1: would just be why not we need an automan. We
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  Speaker 1: don't need an to me where a hotel? I want
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  Speaker 1: an ottoman. Okay, bring the ottoman. I'll carry it into
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  Speaker 1: the room. So I mean it's any So here I
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  Speaker 1: am the self appointed bell hop shuddling luggage like a
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  Speaker 1: you know, some kind of sherpa, hauling gear up Mount
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  Speaker 1: Everest and all of this because of course I refuse
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  Speaker 1: to pay some someone there in a red vest, what
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  Speaker 1: was it, thirty bucks or whatever to do valet parking.
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  Speaker 1: And so I thought I won. I thought I won, Danny,
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  Speaker 1: except as you know when you're when you're married, winning
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  Speaker 1: these little battles, I'll tell you what the compass it's
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: like winning a coin toss and then fumbling the kickoff,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: because well, you won the coin toss, but we gave
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  Speaker 1: the ball up. We fumbled the kick returner fumbled the ball. Well,
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  Speaker 1: you won the coin toss, but we fumbled the ball.
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  Speaker 1: Now technically you're ahead because you won the coin toss,
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  Speaker 1: but you don't really feel feel like you're your head.
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  Speaker 1: And the whole weekend carried out with she had a
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  Speaker 1: sour taste. She was upset. I didn't valet, and I
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  Speaker 1: was getting upset because every bill came with a service fee.
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  Speaker 1: Every drink was priced like it was blessed by the pope,
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  Speaker 1: you know. And I'm like, we can just go to Costco,
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  Speaker 1: buy some booze and have a great time.
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  Speaker 3: Oh boy, you're sounding more and more like Rob Parker.
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  Speaker 1: I know I'm turning into Rob Pert and Vegas has
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: turned into the it's the Olympics, It's the nickel and
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: dime Olympics. You gotta have the bones, like you don't
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: just lose your money at the table. I'm okay if
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: I bet a three team parlay, which it's a sucker bet,
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  Speaker 1: and I lose. Fine, if I bet on the Cleveland
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  Speaker 1: Guardians because Dick and Dayton told me to bet on them,
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  Speaker 1: and I lose, I'm fine, But to lose on all
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  Speaker 1: this all you lose at the tables, but you lose
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  Speaker 1: in your room. You lose plugging your phone into the wall.
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  Speaker 1: I think they charged for that. The why fi you
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  Speaker 1: lose just breathing the oxygen they pump into the casinos
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  Speaker 1: to keep you awake. You lose it that everything's a loss.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: And the thing that really drove me nutstanding and I
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: want to.
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  Speaker 3: Definitely lose lung capacity inhaling all that cigar smoke.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, as I said, I and I think it
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: was yesterday's podcast, Like I had a raspy voice doing
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: the show because I walked through the casino and everyone
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: was smoking and it messed my voice up. But the
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: thing that really annoyed me too is the wife kind
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  Speaker 1: of shrugged. I was complaining about how much they were
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  Speaker 1: gouging us with all these ridiculous fees, and my wife
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: kind of shrugged, and she said, well, this is just
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  Speaker 1: how it is, Ben, you know, this is just how
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  Speaker 1: it is. And she's probably right, that's just how it is.
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  Speaker 1: And maybe Vegas doesn't have to offer free parking anymore
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: because they know that people will keep coming back no
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: matter what, even though the tourism numbers are down, but
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: the people are just sheep, especially from La and you know,
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: it's like sheep to the shearing shed and lemmings off
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  Speaker 1: the cliff and all that. And they've built this empire
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  Speaker 1: on the assumption that no one will actually ever say no,
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  Speaker 1: Like they keep raising prices because no one will ever
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  Speaker 1: say no, and there's enough people that'll go that'll make
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: it work. And the worst part is they're probably right.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: And I know that I'll be back and I'll complain
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  Speaker 1: about it next time I go. And Danny, I know
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: you'll you're not happy about the prices either, but you'll
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: be back, right, You'll go back and we'll all go
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  Speaker 1: back and I'm gonna scream and shout, and you eighty
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  Speaker 1: dollars parking for a couple hours on asphalt and seeing
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: neon lights off in the distance and all that stuff.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: And you know, try having your favorite NFL football team
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: in that city. Oh I know, oh man. I mean
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: thanks to you last season, I was able to see
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: a game and I didn't have to pay for tickets,
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: but I still had to pay for everything else involved.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: And it is similar to going to an amusement park
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: in California or flying maybe to Disney World in Florida.
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  Speaker 3: You get taxed because they know you're gonna pay it.
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  Speaker 3: Everybody loves it that much that they know they have
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: you buy the balls. It's kind of like when our pets,
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: our animals get sick. The vet has us by the
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: you know what, So we're gonna pay through the nose.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: We're just gonna do it.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I know. I just want to clarify though,
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: again they're in They call it the hospitality business, Danny.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: A lot of those people that work at hotels, they
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: got degrees in hospitalities, people that run the hotels. But
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: let me tell you something. Hospitality is supposed to mean, Hey,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: we're glad you're here. We're really happy to see you. Man,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: is it great, We're really man, we're very hospitable. In
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Vegas right now, it means we're glad that you're trapped.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: That's the real magic. You're turning robbery in broad daylight
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: into customer service and hospitality. That's the Vegas way right now.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: And at some point there will be an epiphany. They'll
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: lower the price, they'll make a big deal. They'll spend
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: a lot of money on radio commercials and podcast commercials
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: and TV commercials, and then it'll be nice. And then
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: slowly they'll raise the prices back up, because that's the
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: way it works, nanny like cable television. Remember how happy
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: people wore court cutters get rid of cable television, and
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: now you end up most people end up with just insane,
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: insane bills because they've got all these streaming services and
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: it's ridiculous. You know what I need, Danny's, I need daycare.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: That's what I need. I need my own daycare at
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: this point, my god.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, here, you need to run a daycare because you'd
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: make ten times more money than broadcasting. I don't want
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: this to sound like two old guys yelling through microphones.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: No lie, no bs.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: I'm just at this point, I'm just over it. I'm
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: gonna be a what's the fancy way to say nanny?
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: If you're a male nanny, O pair, remember that from
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: Jerry maguire.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: You remember that.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: We have a dilemma right now. My better half an
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: eye CoA. He needs daycare. He needs some sort of preschool,
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: even though he's not ready for the caterpillar room yet.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: Obviously they still have these daycare centers, but especially in California.
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: And I'm sure whatever state you're in listening right now,
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: you know daycare is an issue in our country. Now,
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: Ben the prices you were talking about Vegas, at least
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: you're there having fun. Imagine having a toddler in your
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: life right now and trying to navigate our world. Daddy.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's not easy. I know. It's not a
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: lot of hidden costs, which I guess are not really
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: that hidden, you kind of know.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: Going into town, not hidden at all. In fact, they
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: have these prices posted when you walk into the lobby
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: of this Monassory school, so Montassori in essence, they like
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: to teach kids real world living rather than fantasy. So
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: instead of all these colorful toys from Target and games
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: and board games, they go like gray dishes and glass
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: bowls and things made out of wood. They're thinking is,
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: let's have these kids work with things that are in
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: the house instead of you know, make believe. Will do
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: real world type stuff, which that doesn't sound fun for
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: a toddler.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: No, you want to play it around with a bunch
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: of plastics.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: CoA wants a fricking car from Cars from Disney. He
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: wants Mader the truck. He wants you know, Lightning McQueen.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: That's his thing right now. He doesn't want a glass bowl.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: So what we see these kids through that we make
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: an appointment for this Monassory school in our city. We
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: bring Cole with us to this appointment. There's this one
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: sided glass window where you can look in at these kids.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: They're in a fish bowl and it looked like they
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: were in a little jail. It looked like they were
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: imprison in there, these poor bastard little kids. This director,
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: she takes us outside to the play area, which, by
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: the way, the artificial turf. Okay, fine, whatever, but next
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: to the turf was a brick wall. CoA is gonna
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: take three steps toward this wall trip and knock his
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: big noggin right into the bricks. That was a check
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: mark against them, the biggest check mark of all though.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: We get back to the lobby. She hands us a
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: pamphlet for this place, and I saw some of the
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: prices hanging up on the wall in there too, and
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: they were in small print. Good for them, They should
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: make the print even smaller. What do you think a
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: half day at this monassory school would cost a parent?
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Okay, so this is the menu, all right? Let me
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: do some math on this.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: Me.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna do some malor math in real time. So
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: let's say how many How many hours is a half.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: Day from eight thirty am to twelve thirty at lunchtime?
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: So four hours, I'm gonna say. If it's I'll go high.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: Oh man, what are they try? It's like twenty five
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: an hour or something like that? Is that? Is that
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: what they're doing?
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: Oh man? If it was twenty five an hour, we
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: would have had cod in one of these places a
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: long time ago, all.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Right, So I would have come up with twenty five
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: an hour, which I think is like one hundred and
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: twelve dollars or something that I'm way off.
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they want two hundred and forty dollars per half day.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Wait, wait, two hundred and forty four is four and
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: a half hours. You say, all right, let me do
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: the math on that. That means.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: Four four hours, four hours, eight thirty to twelve thirty.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: That is sixty dollars an hour. Holy crap, Yeah, sixty
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: dollars an hour. So what they got to pay somebody?
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: How much they pay something thirty dollars an hour? Then
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: they keep thirty on top of that. Is that how
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: that goes?
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: I bet? I bet you The teachers get twenty five.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, So then they make the extra, They make it
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: thirty five on top of that.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: What a freaking joke. As we're in the lobby and
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: now I see Brenda's eyes light up as she's looking
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: through the pamphlet it and I had already seen, like
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: I said, I had already saw it on the wall,
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: so I already had one foot out the door. I'm like,
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: f this place, what sixty dollars an hour? So that
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: they can play with a glass bowl. If it's sixty dollars,
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: it better look like fucking Disneyland in this joint, like
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: it better be a place CoA is dying to get
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: to every day, right.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: And of course, while CoA is playing with the bowl,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: the person sust to be washing was on their phone.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the bull's about to be on his head, cutting
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: off his breathing. CoA sees something in the lobby that
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: he wants his hands on. It's like some stupid plant
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: they had in there, like a small plant, almost looked
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: like a cactus. I don't know why they would have
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: that around kids. He sees it, he wants it. I
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: tell him, no, that's not your plant. You can't have that.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: Now he starts to throw a fit. He is starting
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: to melt down. I politely excuse myself and I take
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: him outside the front entrance door. So now he's outside,
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: I set him down. He runs towards their bushes. He
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: starts like terminator, pulling flowers and leaves and branches down,
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: and he's going he's going full on stitch and he's wrecked.
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: Oh he's screaming. Record Yeah he went now from screaming
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: because of something he couldn't have to. I am gonna
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: mess up their entire front entrance area. So he's throwing
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: flowers and leaves, and I see this director looking outside
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: the glass doors, and I'm like, oh my god, she's
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: not gonna want this kid for eighty dollars an hour.
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: He's throwing a huge fit. Obviously Brenda now sees. She's like, okay, bye.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: She comes out. She's like, let me, let me pick
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: him up. She picks them up. He is like slapping
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: at her, And that's what toddlers do. They if they
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: get that mad, they start pinching at you. And if
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: they don't want to be held, they don't want to
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: be held. We get them back to the car. He
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: is flipping the f out the entire ride home. He
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: is going bananas. He won't stop screaming. We get him
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: inside and we calm him down, and everything ben. The
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: very next day, twenty four hours later, oh oh, he
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: is throwing up all over the living room, all over
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: his pajamas. He is sicker than a sick dog. He
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: obviously got something from that damn germ factory that they
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: call a monatssory school.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Dad's got the barf bucket.
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: That is so smart, because he threw that tantrum. We
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: didn't do our usual parent routine, which is slather the
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: uh you know the hand sanitizer.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, the hands. Yeah. I try to forget
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: about that after the pandemic.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: But yeah, you got kids though. You can never forget
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: about hand sanitizer. In fact, you always have it in
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: your pocket. You always have it latched onto your bag
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: or your keys. And in this case, we have the
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: spray kind, so we're usually spray like. It's like Banaka,
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: We're spraying it in his mouth. So he got something
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: so bad from that damn place. It's now been over
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: a week later. He is still sick.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Really.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: Yes, we had to take him to the er. They
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: had to give him breathing treatments. This is the most
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: sick this kid has ever been.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: You killed it.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Wow. What are you gonna do though? Is there other options?
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: Are you? Like? I don't know what you're gonna Yeah.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: I think we're gonna have to keep doing what we've
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: been doing, which is I take the morning shift. She
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: takes the afternoon shift when I'm on the Covino and
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: Rich show, and then at night after post production, I
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: get back home and I relieve her. We kind of
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: we're like a tag team wrestling duo, and that's how
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: we're gonna have to keep doing it. The problem is
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: that morning shift, she's upstairs doing her job remotely, and
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: he knows she's up there, so if he's not in
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: a good mood, he's screaming and crying because he knows
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: she'll come down the stairs. So he has been interrupting
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: her workflow and that's been that has been our biggest challenge.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: I don't know how we're going to get through this,
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: But everybody say a little prayer for Okay, for Brenda. Yeah,
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: because there's no way in hell we have that in
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: the budget to pay for even a better place that
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: had less germs and more colorful toys. But man, we're
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: at a standstill now. This is like just hitting your
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: head up against a brick wall if you're a parent.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, if you have any suggestions, you can email
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: in real fifth hour at gmail dot com. We have
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: a mail bag tomorrow and if we don't get it
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: to get to it tomorrow, we can do it next
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: week on the mail bag. Too bad, they don't have
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: chuck e cheese anymore. Like the old school, you just
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: throw the kid in the chucky cue.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: Well, one place they do have which is about a
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: seven eight minute drive from our house. They have one
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: of those indoor playgrounds, which cool you see in a
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: lot of towns. Nowadays, it's Blippy's favorite place to hang out.
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: We got them a monthly pass. That is one trick
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: I do to at least get them out and give
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: her a little bit of time, maybe an hour hour
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: and a half as I take them to that indoor playground,
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: which you have to hover over the kids so they
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: don't kill themself, and you have to spray their hands
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: with the sanitizer every few minutes. But at least it's
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: something where he's exercising and he's out of the house.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: There you go, I hear you. Well, this is the
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: fifth hours called how Much Can You Complain? That's and
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: I'm going to continue the tradition. I got one more.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, but it's real life though in our age
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: in our age group, unfortunately, we run into all these
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: damn issues that cost a lot of money.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and complaining is the last noble American pastime. It
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: really is. When people, you know, people come and go
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: with different things. I like baseball for a while, maybe
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: you hate baseball, You like the NFL. Maybe you're down
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: on the NFL. You know, pickleball. It's a fad, right people.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Complaining is eternal. So here's my latest complaint. There's there's
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: too much begging in the world right now. I realize
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: that I'm a guy that put weed Man Hippie on
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: the radio for years and all he did was beg
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: for money. But I don't mean begging like your dog
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: or you know, eating, You know, I want a sandwich
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: or something, our kid wants a toy or something like that.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: What I mean is the full on handout, Please give
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: me something begging. You walk into a grocery store and
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: there's a person outside asking for a dollar to save something,
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: you know, something something dying or whatever of the environment.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: You walk inside and there's a corporate charity drive asking
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: you for a couple of dollars. Even when you check
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: out at self checkout, they say, would you'd like to
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: round up the bill to save a turtle and Galopagos
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: or something? And you're You're like, well, what am I?
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: What am I supposed? I can't say no, can I?
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, I can't let the turtle down? And of
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: course I say no all the time. But here's the
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: thing I am prepared for that, Danny. I know that's coming.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: I know the circle of life. And you go to stores,
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: there's people outside begging. You go in the store, there begging.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: What I'm not prepared for is when I'm on the
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: highway and begging. The highway to me, is supposed to
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: be a sanctuary from that. You're in your car, you're
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: alone with your thoughts. You've got either bad sports talk
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: radio on or some crappy music or something. You're you're
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: shouting at the traffic app on your phone because it
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: sent you through some off ramp and Van Eyes. You
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: don't need to go to Van Eys. Why did it
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: send you to Van Eyes? But it said you're on
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: the fastest route anyway, and uh, but you're free from
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: all that other stuff, except you're not. So let's go
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: in the hot tub time machine. The other day, and
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: people have now decided that the rear window is a
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: GoFundMe page. Have you seen this, Danny, I've seen this
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: multiple times. The other day, I'm driving on the four
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: h five to the one on one already the eighth
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: circle of Hell, right right, It's just a nightmare. And
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: the car in front of me had written you know
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: that that kind of chalky writing. Yeah. Yeah.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: Sometimes you'll see like a youth team won a championship.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, they write that across the back.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: So that they had giant letters on the back of
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: this car. It's my birthday, Buy me a coffee. And
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: then they had the venmo at whatever you know, whoever
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: was hit the hell out of here. Yeah. So suddenly
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: I'm trapped in a fundraising campaign while I'm driving on
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: a one oh one. Now I have a few questions
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: about this number. One does anyone actually send these people money? Danny, Like,
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: is there some guy out in Sherman Oaks who's thinking,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: you know what, that brown Corolla over there?
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: No enough, This would have to be a hot blonde
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: driving this vehicle for this ploy to work, because I've
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: seen this online on social media. I've seen girls post
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: a picture they are wearing next to no clothes and
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: they're like, it's my birthday month, buy me a drink,
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: and then they put their link for you to give
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: them some money. And you know, suckers out there send
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: them money and like have a drink. I mean they
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: think they're gonna score with that girl down the line.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And the term for this. You're absolutely right, Danny.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Great minds think alike. I was thinking about this as
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: I was driving, and it's PGP. It's pretty girl privilege, right,
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: if you're a hot chick, you can make money off that.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: If I did that, I'd get laughed at and people
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: would point at me. And if I said, it's my birthday,
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: buy me a coffee at the car, nobody's venmoing me anything.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: They're honking because I'm holding up traffic. They're reporting me
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: for vandalism, saying what do you do the car?
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: They'd probably venmo you fifty cents so they could write
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: a mean comment and it would get to you.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Well, that's like when Robbie the Mariner fan alleged I
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: think it was Robbie. Weed Man kept begging for money,
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: and I don't know it was a Robbie or justin
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: one of those schmucks. They sent weed Man like as
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: low as I don't think it was one cent, but
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: it's as low as you could possibly send, and it
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: was it was really low, and weed Man was all
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: excited because he had a notification that he got money,
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: and then he clicked on and it was like a
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: few cents and it was really not good. But the
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: hot girl thinks true. Like a pretty girl, privilege is legit.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: And you know, bunch, as you said, Danny, a bunch
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: of dudes. I like, oh, I could score with that chick,
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: you know. And of course she leans into it because
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: she knows she's going to get stuff, so she's embracing
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: her her hotness. And so there you go. And by
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: the way, how do you prove it's your birthday?
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: Is anyone checking? Is there is like an ID scanner
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: on the one oh one maybe when you go around
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: the Hollywood Bowl or something like that, and it's your birthday?
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: All right?
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: This could be like Christmas lights where the person leaves
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: it up the whole year.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's my birthday. Send me twenty bucks every day
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: it's been your birthday. What about yesterday? Every day for
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: a month it's my birthday. So anyway, that's where I'm at.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: You know, begging has invaded every part of life, even
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: when you're driving. I saw two of these cars two
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: and I was like, come on.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm making fun of this idea, but I'm
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: also writing down notes because now I know how I'm
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: gonna raise money for daycare.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go say, uh, but you see you're
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: not the hot chick though, so I don't know that's
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: gonna probably would work, you know, but you can give
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: it a shot anyway. Happy birthday to everyonecause apparently it's
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: everyone's birthday every effing day. You just write it on
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: the car. There, that's it, and you're you know, rear wisdom,
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: real rear window wisdom. I will get out on that, Danny.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: Have a great Saturday. I'm gonna be settling into the
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: sofa watching college football. Cannot wait all day long. I
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: got my schedule and really all weekend. This is a
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: big college football weekend. No NFL till next week, so
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: we got that to look forward to.
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what do you think about the Texas game? Who's winning?
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: Uh?
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going with the Buck guys. I don't believe
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: in the the hype for the Texas Longhorns, so I'm
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: going which means bet the house on Texas. But I'm
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: going with the Buck guys. What about you, I'm with you? Actually, Okay,
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: there you go. We're an agreement.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: So so double put your money on the other team.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Longhorns will win by twenty points. All right, have a
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: wonderful day. We'll talk to you tomorrow. See you for
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: the mail bag. Asta pasta, My Felicia