Latest / Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse / The Empty Nest is Not the End of Your Story
Transcript
- 0:19Speaker 1: Free audio post production by Alphoniccom podcast.
- 0:20Speaker 1: I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
- 0:31Speaker 1: Hi, welcome back.
- 1:03Speaker 1: You're listening to episode 84.
- 1:06Speaker 1: I'm so glad you're here.
- 1:09Speaker 1: Let's start with this universal truth May is a beast period.
- 1:16Speaker 1: It's worse than December, if you ask me.
- 1:19Speaker 1: May is packed with finals, end-of-year ceremonies, graduation parties.
- 1:24Speaker 1: May is packed with finals, end-of-year ceremonies, graduation parties, college tours and somewhere in there you're supposed to function like a normal adult.
- 1:30Speaker 1: If you have a senior, you already know the checklist is long and the emotional rollercoaster is real.
- 1:39Speaker 1: But for some of us, May doesn't just mark the end of school.
- 1:43Speaker 1: It marks the end of a season, A season of raising your kids, chauffeuring them around, staying up late for projects we didn't assign but we definitely finished and building our lives around their schedule.
- 2:00Speaker 1: Suddenly it's all done schedule.
- 2:01Speaker 1: Suddenly it's all done.
- 2:03Speaker 1: That last cap toss in the air.
- 2:06Speaker 1: It's a signal.
- 2:08Speaker 1: The nest is empty.
- 2:10Speaker 1: Let me tell you something Empty nesting is not for the faint of heart.
- 2:19Speaker 1: It's not just about a quiet house or fewer groceries to buy.
- 2:20Speaker 1: It's an identity crosses in yoga pants.
- 2:23Speaker 1: You've been a parent for 18 years or longer and whether you stayed home or worked full-time, your life revolved around that child or children.
- 2:34Speaker 1: And now, silence, stillness, a freedom you didn't ask for and aren't quite sure how to use.
- 2:45Speaker 1: I've talked a lot about this before, especially during the season when I became an empty nester and finalized my divorce Double whammy.
- 2:55Speaker 1: That was the loneliest time of my life.
- 2:58Speaker 1: But today I want to flip the script.
- 3:02Speaker 1: Today I want to flip the script.
- 3:07Speaker 1: I want to share what I learned and, more importantly, how I found passion, purpose and adventure.
- 3:10Speaker 1: Let me say this loud and clear Don't you dare roll over and give up.
- 3:15Speaker 1: I know it's tempting.
- 3:18Speaker 1: The quiet settles in and the doubt creeps in.
- 3:21Speaker 1: But hear me, as long as there's time left on the clock, you get to live your life to the fullest, Not halfway, not kinda, but full out.
- 3:35Speaker 1: You see, when the kids left, I started trying new things, Very small things at first, because well, I was afraid, A class here, a trip there.
- 3:47Speaker 1: But in the summer of 22, I did something that changed me.
- 3:53Speaker 1: I packed up my camping gear and went on an 18-day camping trip across six states, solo, Just me, my tent, firewood and God.
- 4:07Speaker 1: During the course of those 18 days, I hiked over 25 miles, I cooked on the fire, journaled by moonlight and rediscovered my own voice.
- 4:19Speaker 1: That trip didn't just fill my time, it filled my soul.
- 4:23Speaker 1: Now I'm still single, 11 years and counting, and no, I'm not against dating, but my life is full.
- 4:33Speaker 1: I chose to use this season to pour into relationships that matter.
- 4:37Speaker 1: I spend time with my adult kids who, by the way, are incredible humans.
- 4:43Speaker 1: We laugh, we eat, we talk about life.
- 4:46Speaker 1: I've learned to not parent them all the time Okay, well, most of the time.
- 4:53Speaker 1: Let's not pretend I don't occasionally slip a little unsolicited advice in there.
- 4:58Speaker 1: But the best part, we just enjoy one another.
- 5:04Speaker 1: This season of empty nesting didn't destroy me.
- 5:07Speaker 1: It refined me.
- 5:09Speaker 1: I didn't go into a midlife crisis.
- 5:11Speaker 1: I leaned into my midlife calling.
- 5:14Speaker 1: I became a certified life coach and now I get to coach women and young adults through their own transitions.
- 5:22Speaker 1: Listen, young adults are figuring out who they are, but women, they have to remember who they are and both need guidance.
- 5:34Speaker 1: Both need examples.
- 5:36Speaker 1: That's you.
- 5:37Speaker 1: You see the young adults.
- 5:40Speaker 1: They're watching how we handle things.
- 5:43Speaker 1: They're watching how we walk through grief, how we treat others, how we recover from setbacks.
- 5:50Speaker 1: Whether you realize it or not, your life is a testimony and I promise you someone is taking notes.
- 6:00Speaker 1: Let me tell you another thing that changed my life, and that's community Friendships are vital.
- 6:06Speaker 1: I'm not saying every day is packed with girls' nights and brunch dates, but I made an intentional decision to build connection.
- 6:16Speaker 1: If you're sitting there thinking I don't have close friends anymore, let me lovingly challenge you.
- 6:24Speaker 1: It's time to start over.
- 6:26Speaker 1: I know, I know it's awkward, yes, it takes effort, but it's also the lifeline that keeps you out of the dark.
- 6:38Speaker 1: And while we're getting real, let's talk about fear.
- 6:41Speaker 1: You want to know what stopped me from living full out for too long Fear.
- 6:47Speaker 1: You see, I'm a six on the Enneagram, which basically means I have a sixth sense for worst case scenarios.
- 6:55Speaker 1: I don't like looking dumb, I don't like to try new things and I definitely don't like risk.
- 7:03Speaker 1: I want to be safe and secure.
- 7:05Speaker 1: But here's what I've learned Fear.
- 7:08Speaker 1: Resilience is built by doing the scary thing anyway.
- 7:12Speaker 1: That camping trip, Terrifying.
- 7:15Speaker 1: The first coaching session I ever had, Sweaty palms, the first coaching session I ever had sweaty palms, Saying yes to a new adventure, not knowing how it would turn out, Absolutely pure panic.
- 7:29Speaker 1: But I did it, scared, Over and over again, and every time I reminded myself that fear doesn't get to drive Not anymore.
- 7:43Speaker 1: So let's cut to the chase.
- 7:46Speaker 1: Empty nesting is not the end of your story, it's not even the end of the chapter.
- 7:49Speaker 1: It's the middle of the race God has called you to.
- 7:53Speaker 1: You're not done, You're not put on a shelf, and you are most definitely not too old, too late or too far gone.
- 8:02Speaker 1: I want you to remember something God finds great joy in you.
- 8:07Speaker 1: You still have purpose, you still have dreams, you still have impact to make that thing.
- 8:16Speaker 1: You haven't told anyone about that idea that keeps whispering in your ear.
- 8:22Speaker 1: It's time.
- 8:24Speaker 1: So what do you do now?
- 8:27Speaker 1: Well, you start your comeback.
- 8:30Speaker 1: Don't wait for a perfect plan or for someone to come knock on your door with an opportunity.
- 8:35Speaker 1: Be the one who knocks Afraid.
- 8:40Speaker 1: Try something new, Afraid.
- 8:43Speaker 1: Reconnect with your people.
- 8:46Speaker 1: Take the trip, Sign up for the class, Write the book.
- 8:50Speaker 1: Take the trip, Sign up for the class.
- 8:51Speaker 1: Write the book, Start the business.
- 8:52Speaker 1: Do the thing that makes you come alive.
- 8:57Speaker 1: Listen, if this episode stirred something in you, if you felt seen, heard or maybe just understood, I want to invite you to take the next step Schedule a coaching call with me.
- 9:10Speaker 1: The link is in the show notes.
- 9:12Speaker 1: Let's talk about what your next move is.
- 9:15Speaker 1: You don't have to figure this out alone.
- 9:18Speaker 1: You're not stuck, You're not invisible and you are definitely not behind.
- 9:23Speaker 1: You're just getting started.
- 9:26Speaker 1: So go to TonyThrashcom or click the link in the show notes to book your free discovery call.
- 9:35Speaker 1: Let's build your comeback together.
- 9:39Speaker 1: Until next time, keep your head up, your heart open and your feet moving forward, because your next chapter it's calling.
- 9:50Speaker 1: I'll get you off the bench to start your comeback.
- 9:54Speaker 1: I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music.
- 10:15Speaker 1: You can find them on Instagram at Country Club free audio post production.