Latest / Privycast / Ep. 57 Lock the Doors with Austin Kent (Privychat 6)

Transcript

Ep. 57 Lock the Doors with Austin Kent (Privychat 6) · Privycast

• 0:00
  >> Speaker A: So it felt, like, really nice after it was in, but that initial,
• 0:03
  like, shoving it in there was just super painful.
• 0:06
  >> Speaker B: But.
• 0:13
  >> Speaker C: Welcome back to privy. Privy is a
• 0:15
  podcast about bathrooms recorded
• 0:19
  this week. Uh, I'm on
• 0:22
  location as it is, uh, at
• 0:25
  a friend and, uh, a mentor.
• 0:30
  We're already going,
• 0:33
  uh, this one could get off the
• 0:36
  rails really quick, but we're going to see here.
• 0:39
  But, yeah, just to intro it here. And this
• 0:42
  is going to hit you later, but I've
• 0:45
  been in an ongoing conversation with, uh,
• 0:48
  some folks I work with about how many
• 0:51
  squares of toilet paper is the appropriate number
• 0:54
  of squares for normal human use.
• 0:56
  Um, and I'm on record saying it's three,
• 0:59
  so you can.
• 1:00
  >> Speaker A: Three?
• 1:01
  >> Speaker C: Yeah. What?
• 1:03
  >> Speaker A: Three squares.
• 1:04
  >> Speaker C: Three. Three squares total.
• 1:06
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 1:06
  >> Speaker A: When you wipe.
• 1:07
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, when you wipe your poop.
• 1:11
  >> Speaker A: Serious?
• 1:12
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, 100%. So, um,
• 1:15
  I'm joined this week. We might as well just get him right on.
• 1:17
  Uh, by Austin Kent. Um, Austin and I have been
• 1:20
  friends for, uh, eight, nine years, something like that. We met in
• 1:23
  college, uh, those rowdy, uh,
• 1:26
  Bible college days. As rowdy as those can get, being
• 1:29
  rowdy in Bible college essentially means you skip chapel to play
• 1:31
  Pokemon cards.
• 1:33
  >> Speaker A: Um, I just want to play video games. You're the ones who made
• 1:36
  me rowdy.
• 1:37
  >> Speaker C: Right? And
• 1:40
  that's exactly it. Um,
• 1:43
  well, perfect. Uh, so tell us a little bit about
• 1:46
  who you are, because I know who you are, but I
• 1:49
  know everything about you.
• 1:50
  >> Speaker A: Um, my name is Austin Kent. I'm, um,
• 1:52
  28.
• 1:53
  >> Speaker C: He's not single.
• 1:55
  >> Speaker A: I am not single. I'm very married. We're, uh, getting ready to have a baby
• 1:57
  girl here, uh, July 27. Super excited.
• 2:00
  Um, had our second ultrasound already. Everything's going
• 2:03
  good. And getting ready to be a dad, pretty
• 2:06
  much.
• 2:06
  >> Speaker C: Awesome. Are you
• 2:09
  just super stoked or.
• 2:12
  >> Speaker A: Um. I'm super stoked.
• 2:13
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. That's my first kid.
• 2:15
  >> Speaker C: Is there any not existential
• 2:18
  dread, but just like.
• 2:19
  >> Speaker A: No. Oh, no.
• 2:21
  >> Speaker C: This is coming down the line.
• 2:22
  >> Speaker A: No. I've been wanting to have kids since I was a
• 2:25
  kid, and I still am a kid, kind of. So, yeah. Uh,
• 2:28
  there's no part of me that is scared or regretful in
• 2:31
  any way.
• 2:32
  >> Speaker C: That's so cool.
• 2:33
  >> Speaker B: That's awesome.
• 2:33
  >> Speaker C: Um, what about in the
• 2:36
  diapering and
• 2:39
  bathroom? The things that come out of the bottom.
• 2:43
  >> Speaker A: I feel like I'm ignorant to a lot
• 2:46
  of what parenting entails, and so
• 2:49
  I think if I knew what I needed to be prepared for, I
• 2:52
  would be more nervous than I am. But
• 2:55
  I've never babysat or gone through any of
• 2:58
  that before, so I'm just thinking about all the smiles
• 3:01
  and the walks in the park and all the fun
• 3:04
  stuff. So I'm not really thinking about all that stuff, because it'll be here, and I'm
• 3:07
  sure it'll be all I think about when I have the kids. So
• 3:10
  right now, I'm just going to enjoy the excited sleeping in
• 3:12
  and.
• 3:14
  >> Speaker B: Absolutely.
• 3:15
  >> Speaker C: That's exactly right. Um, the only thing that I want to
• 3:18
  tell you, uh, that I wish
• 3:21
  someone would have told me, is
• 3:24
  when she's born in the hospital,
• 3:27
  that first diaper, the poo is
• 3:30
  like black tar.
• 3:31
  >> Speaker A: That's what I've heard.
• 3:32
  >> Speaker C: I'm glad you've heard it, because I didn't know that.
• 3:35
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 3:35
  >> Speaker C: And to not freak out, and I thought that there was something gravely wrong
• 3:38
  with my son. Uh, and so you're already
• 3:41
  ahead of where I was because you know
• 3:44
  that the black tarduki is coming.
• 3:46
  Um, but, yeah.
• 3:48
  >> Speaker A: Is it like a thicker.
• 3:51
  >> Speaker C: It's just impossibly sticky and black, like.
• 3:54
  >> Speaker A: A big black booger almost. Kind of.
• 3:55
  >> Speaker C: Kind of. But it just keeps
• 3:58
  wiping. You know how, like, on.
• 4:01
  >> Speaker B: I don't.
• 4:01
  >> Speaker A: Do people save it?
• 4:02
  >> Speaker C: No, they don't save that. They save the umbilical cord.
• 4:05
  >> Speaker A: There's a lot of people who save a lot of weird first things.
• 4:07
  >> Speaker C: People do a lot of things with the umbilical cord.
• 4:10
  >> Speaker B: I didn't do that.
• 4:14
  >> Speaker A: My mom still has. We were going through a photo album when we were
• 4:17
  home, just a few this last weekend, and she still
• 4:19
  has, like, in an envelope, like, all of our first haircut, like
• 4:22
  hair. Is that normal? Is that, uh,
• 4:25
  normal thing? Which I was like, oh,
• 4:29
  I opened it, and I was like, what is in this? And my mom was like,
• 4:31
  oh, it's your brother's hair from his first haircut. I
• 4:34
  think it's 25 years ago.
• 4:36
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 4:37
  >> Speaker C: See, that was what I was going to say is, I think
• 4:40
  doing that is normal.
• 4:42
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 4:42
  >> Speaker C: I think, honestly,
• 4:45
  when you turn 18 to 20 is
• 4:48
  when that either disappears. Or
• 4:51
  I think what would be even creepier is then they hand it off to your
• 4:54
  significant other. It's like, hey.
• 4:56
  >> Speaker A: Or they throw it up, like as you're walking out at your wedding.
• 4:58
  >> Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
• 4:59
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 5:01
  >> Speaker A: I've told my wife something, like, weird, creepy.
• 5:04
  I was kind of joking, but also kind of wondered if it'd be
• 5:07
  feasible. You save all of your kids, like,
• 5:09
  toenails every time you clip them until
• 5:12
  they get married, and then you give them in little baggies to everybody at
• 5:15
  the ceremony, and they throw the toenails. Like, sometimes they do
• 5:18
  bubbles or they do for the send off.
• 5:21
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 5:21
  >> Speaker C: Toenails.
• 5:22
  >> Speaker B: Um.
• 5:25
  >> Speaker C: You'Re getting ready to have that moment where you're going to have to decide if
• 5:28
  you want to do it, because that first toenail
• 5:31
  clipping is probably only about six to eight months ahead
• 5:34
  of your future here. So probably, I don't know, my
• 5:37
  wife probably is going to be like, dummy, you do it faster
• 5:40
  than that. I suck at
• 5:43
  clipping kids toenails.
• 5:44
  >> Speaker A: I suck at clipping dog toenails.
• 5:46
  >> Speaker C: M. Yeah. Uh,
• 5:49
  I don't know which is worse.
• 5:52
  >> Speaker A: Every time you click it, there's just that part in you
• 5:55
  that's like, oh, my gosh, are you going to wail in pain on this
• 5:58
  one?
• 5:59
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 5:59
  >> Speaker A: Am I going to ruin them?
• 6:00
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 6:01
  >> Speaker C: And it's the same for kids because it's like they can't sit still.
• 6:04
  They refuse, um,
• 6:07
  just outright cannot do it. No, it
• 6:10
  doesn't stop. So
• 6:13
  your job, if you don't mind sharing, I don't know if you're even allowed
• 6:16
  to. It's top secret, high security. Um,
• 6:19
  but what do you do for fun?
• 6:22
  Uh, living? I don't know if it's fun.
• 6:25
  >> Speaker A: Fun living. Yeah.
• 6:29
  >> Speaker C: You go to work. What do you do?
• 6:31
  >> Speaker A: Oh, so you want to know what I do for. What I do for a living and
• 6:34
  what I do for fun are two different things.
• 6:37
  >> Speaker B: Not always.
• 6:38
  >> Speaker A: Not always.
• 6:39
  >> Speaker C: Depends on the day, am I right?
• 6:40
  >> Speaker A: I mean, I do have fun at,
• 6:44
  um, so I work up in Woodburn, uh,
• 6:47
  for OiA, which is Oregon youth Authority, and
• 6:50
  I am a group life coordinator, which is a fancy way of saying that I
• 6:53
  babysit criminals.
• 6:58
  I pretty much just watch. Supervision, uh, is
• 7:01
  like, the main part of the job, but we also are supposed to interact
• 7:04
  with them. And we work specifically on a drug and alcohol unit, so
• 7:07
  there's a lot of treatment and stuff involved. But
• 7:09
  90% of the day is making sure kids don't get in fights
• 7:12
  and telling them what not to do.
• 7:16
  >> Speaker C: Well, perfect. At that job,
• 7:20
  I always joke with you and our other friend
• 7:23
  Gavin, uh, that the kids that I have,
• 7:26
  I often send them right up the valley to y'all.
• 7:29
  And so one of my students this last
• 7:32
  week, um, so he introduced me to a
• 7:35
  thing called the Glock dookie. Um,
• 7:38
  first of all, have you ever heard of this, working
• 7:41
  in your field of expertise?
• 7:43
  >> Speaker A: Glock dookie?
• 7:44
  >> Speaker C: Yes, the Glock dookie.
• 7:45
  >> Speaker A: Um, I don't know if I'm familiar.
• 7:48
  >> Speaker C: Perfect. You're better off as
• 7:51
  a person. Not familiar.
• 7:54
  Um, but in short,
• 7:57
  what this item is, is that
• 8:00
  somebody has taken, um,
• 8:03
  poop, pee, anything, uh, that you can get
• 8:06
  out of your body. And more ketchup. Uh, and you stick
• 8:09
  it in the water bottle, and you use that to
• 8:12
  harass fellow,
• 8:16
  uh, people.
• 8:17
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 8:18
  >> Speaker C: I don't want to say inmates, because I don't feel like that's not.
• 8:21
  >> Speaker A: We do it to them.
• 8:22
  >> Speaker C: No, they do it to each other as, like,
• 8:25
  intimidation. And I don't know if they have that much contact
• 8:28
  where you're at, but they do. Yeah, they do.
• 8:30
  Perfect.
• 8:31
  >> Speaker A: They all sleep in the same giant room together. They're not even in individual
• 8:34
  cells, so they sleep in dorms, and they all share
• 8:37
  a giant bathroom, and they all share a big day room for
• 8:40
  living. Um, there have been lots of, um.
• 8:43
  I haven't personally been involved, thankfully, in
• 8:46
  any kind of bodily fluid, but it happens a
• 8:48
  lot. Like, people mostly spit, that people get spit on,
• 8:51
  but there have been worse things thrown at
• 8:54
  staff by youth.
• 8:57
  >> Speaker C: That just sounds absolutely terrible.
• 8:59
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 8:59
  >> Speaker A: Um, uh, semen is actually common.
• 9:02
  >> Speaker B: Perfect.
• 9:05
  >> Speaker A: One of the things, they don't usually do it to each other, because if
• 9:08
  you spit on someone, or if you throw
• 9:11
  some kind of bodily fluid on someone else, that's considered assault, and they can
• 9:13
  actually catch charges for that. But if you
• 9:16
  ejaculate into your friend's shampoo bottle.
• 9:19
  >> Speaker B: No.
• 9:19
  >> Speaker A: Ah, one can prove it to you.
• 9:21
  >> Speaker B: That's a good word.
• 9:21
  >> Speaker A: You get a laugh as they bathe themselves in it.
• 9:23
  >> Speaker C: Perfect. That's a great word, ejaculate. M.
• 9:27
  It's scientific at that point.
• 9:30
  Um, so not a Glock dookie, but
• 9:33
  something maybe much worse.
• 9:35
  >> Speaker A: Pee is the most common, probably, but also
• 9:37
  pee, fun fact, is actually a commodity
• 9:40
  a little bit. People will collect it in prison
• 9:43
  because you can use it to pass tests with
• 9:46
  later. I found pee in, like,
• 9:49
  toothpaste caps and all kinds. I thought it
• 9:51
  was, like, drugs of some kind. At first I'm like, oh, they're making, like, alcohol.
• 9:54
  And so me and a friend, this actually happened, like,
• 9:57
  a few months ago. We found, um, a
• 10:00
  toothpaste that was hidden underneath a table in a weird spot where you don't
• 10:03
  keep toothpaste. And I'm like, okay, there's something in this that's not
• 10:06
  normal. So I took it in the back and I smelled it, but it still had,
• 10:09
  like, the minty.
• 10:10
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 10:11
  >> Speaker A: I didn't know what I figured.
• 10:12
  >> Speaker B: It was.
• 10:12
  >> Speaker A: My first thought was, they're making alcohol. Because we were working on
• 10:15
  drug and alcohol. It wasn't my first thought
• 10:18
  anyways, so, uh, I was like, oh, I saw
• 10:21
  it was liquid in there. And so I was like, oh, they're definitely making
• 10:24
  drugs. Because people. That's another thing
• 10:27
  we have quite commonly, is they'll use juice
• 10:30
  or bread and sugar to make pruno. It's, uh,
• 10:32
  alcohol in prison, essentially. So that happens
• 10:35
  quite more frequently. We find that more frequently. So that's
• 10:38
  what my first response was, was like, oh, they're making alcohol.
• 10:41
  And so I'm smelling this thing, and it still has the mint
• 10:44
  flavor, kind of from the toothpaste in there. So I'm
• 10:46
  like, I'm having other staff
• 10:49
  smell. We're trying to figure out what it is, and then
• 10:52
  I end up calling my boss, and he's like, dude, it's
• 10:54
  piss. Like, throw it away.
• 10:57
  >> Speaker C: Passing it around. Like, hey, have you smelled
• 11:00
  this yet?
• 11:01
  >> Speaker A: Oh, yeah. It was gross. Thankfully, I had gloves
• 11:04
  on, but still, I was like, oh, man. Can't unsmell
• 11:06
  that. Once I knew what it was, it made sense. I was like, oh, that does smell
• 11:09
  like piss mixed with toothpaste, but it's not so good. Not
• 11:12
  a smell you really become accustomed.
• 11:14
  >> Speaker C: To, especially when it's not yours.
• 11:15
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, especially when.
• 11:17
  >> Speaker C: Wow. Oh, man. Um. Oh,
• 11:20
  also, we're not going all the way back
• 11:22
  because we moved on, but pee diapers smell worse
• 11:25
  than poop diapers sometimes.
• 11:27
  >> Speaker A: Really?
• 11:27
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, like, when they pee and it just kind of sits for a
• 11:30
  little bit. Yeah, it just kind of gets
• 11:33
  mildewy.
• 11:34
  >> Speaker A: See, I feel like it could be bad, but
• 11:37
  I was a caregiver for, like, a year and a half, and so. That's
• 11:40
  right. This lady would, like, I've had
• 11:43
  experience cleaning that kind of fecal matter in particular,
• 11:46
  almost on a daily basis. And I'm sure
• 11:49
  you're so ready for kids.
• 11:50
  >> Speaker C: Dude, you're fine.
• 11:53
  >> Speaker A: Vomit, on the other hand, is something we both.
• 11:57
  I can't even smell vomit without.
• 11:59
  >> Speaker C: Oh, homie. I had a girl at.
• 12:02
  Well, I think she is. You know how. Um.
• 12:04
  But she tossed cookies and then fell over
• 12:07
  in it at the high school.
• 12:08
  >> Speaker A: Oh, my God.
• 12:10
  >> Speaker C: And I'm like, listen,
• 12:13
  this is other duties as a sign at this point. Um,
• 12:16
  we need somebody else in here. This is above my expertise level.
• 12:19
  >> Speaker A: I mean, you got
• 12:21
  janitorial experience.
• 12:22
  >> Speaker C: I know, but not when they're
• 12:25
  laying in the cleanup job. It's like, okay,
• 12:29
  you need more help than I'm able to provide.
• 12:31
  >> Speaker A: Yeah.
• 12:32
  >> Speaker C: Um, so she'll be headed your way.
• 12:34
  >> Speaker A: Um, anyway, not my way.
• 12:37
  Girls go down to the.
• 12:38
  >> Speaker C: Oh, shoot.
• 12:39
  >> Speaker A: I only deal with males, thankfully.
• 12:41
  >> Speaker C: Perfect. Yeah, dude, you're not wrong there.
• 12:45
  Okay, so no glock dookie. Um, and then the second thing I
• 12:48
  wanted to know is, have you ever heard of anybody passing
• 12:51
  notes via the toilet?
• 12:54
  So I think the way that this happens is they
• 12:57
  write the note, they stick it in like a ziploc or something that they can,
• 13:00
  or like some sort of small container, and then they tie
• 13:02
  it off to like string from their clothes and they actually run
• 13:05
  it down the sewer line. And then I don't know how,
• 13:08
  but somebody else is able to retrieve it from the
• 13:11
  sewer line.
• 13:12
  >> Speaker A: So you mean like two people from
• 13:15
  different cells?
• 13:17
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Um.
• 13:20
  >> Speaker A: No, mostly because of where I work. But I'm
• 13:23
  sure that something like that might have happened. I mean, the
• 13:26
  only place that might happen is because like I said, on
• 13:29
  our specific unit, everyone shares the same
• 13:31
  bathroom. And so they don't have cells. Uh,
• 13:35
  the only time they're actually in their own rooms is if they're on an
• 13:38
  intake unit. So when they first come in, before they go to their
• 13:41
  long term unit, um, or if they go to
• 13:44
  isolation, then they're in an individual
• 13:47
  cell. So that might happen down there. I don't know. I don't
• 13:50
  work there. So it's not really ever been. Not your problem. They
• 13:53
  could, in theory, I guess if you want to communicate with another
• 13:55
  unit, but we're talking like
• 13:58
  200ft, you'd need to go at least in pipe
• 14:00
  shaft. It's a whole nother building. Yeah,
• 14:04
  it'd be a little tricky. I don't know if they could manage that.
• 14:07
  More likely they just have a cell phone.
• 14:10
  Yeah.
• 14:13
  >> Speaker C: Somebody has to have smuggled one in on the backside.
• 14:16
  Phones?
• 14:17
  >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
• 14:18
  >> Speaker A: Just up, uh, the. Even since I've been there, there have been two or three, probably
• 14:21
  up the b. I don't know how they get it
• 14:23
  in.
• 14:24
  >> Speaker C: Uh, don't ask, don't tell.
• 14:25
  >> Speaker A: We find a lot of stuff. It's a lot harder to find the method
• 14:28
  because most of the time when we discover it's already in. So we
• 14:31
  don't really always catch people in the
• 14:34
  act.
• 14:35
  >> Speaker C: We don't need to know how they did it.
• 14:36
  >> Speaker A: I don't know who has the biggest prison pocket.
• 14:38
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, it's like a hot pocket.
• 14:42
  Not none, but less pepperoni and
• 14:45
  cheese. Not none. Definitely little
• 14:48
  pepperoni, little pepperoni.
• 14:51
  Lots of sausage links going right in.
• 14:54
  Um, anyway, cool. Ah, so
• 14:57
  I wanted to discuss briefly
• 15:00
  some college things that I took notes on.
• 15:02
  >> Speaker A: Sure.
• 15:04
  >> Speaker C: And feel free
• 15:07
  if you just want to pull the escape
• 15:09
  hatch and go, this is too traumatic.
• 15:12
  >> Speaker A: Who I am, I can't be ashamed.
• 15:13
  >> Speaker C: Okay, perfect. So, um, I'm going to set the scene on this
• 15:16
  one. Um, and the
• 15:19
  scene is
• 15:24
  as I remember it,
• 15:27
  Anna and I got back from Christmas break,
• 15:30
  and you had ridden up to the
• 15:33
  airport with our friend Gavin, and I
• 15:36
  believe his fiance at the time,
• 15:39
  maybe m wife. I don't know at what point.
• 15:43
  I think it was fiance. And
• 15:46
  we get in Gavin's car, and you're in the
• 15:49
  seat, and you just have a full eye patch
• 15:52
  on. Um, and I'm
• 15:55
  like, well, what in the heck happened?
• 15:57
  >> Speaker A: Uh, is that the first time you saw me with it?
• 16:02
  >> Speaker C: I think it was the first time I saw you with the eye patch. Uh,
• 16:05
  uh, because I knew you had the eye patch, but I don't think I ever saw it or
• 16:08
  that I.
• 16:08
  >> Speaker A: Had the eye thing, at least.
• 16:09
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 16:10
  >> Speaker C: So tell us however much information you
• 16:13
  want about maybe like, a public
• 16:15
  service announcement about contact lenses.
• 16:18
  >> Speaker A: Public service announcement? Yeah. They're meant to be
• 16:21
  used with contact solution and not tap water.
• 16:23
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, is the long story.
• 16:26
  >> Speaker C: I don't necessarily want to get into what you did, because that's
• 16:29
  your business, but I do want to get into the
• 16:31
  treatment.
• 16:32
  >> Speaker A: Oh, the treatment?
• 16:33
  >> Speaker C: Yes, the treatment.
• 16:35
  >> Speaker A: Because that's a long story.
• 16:37
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 16:39
  >> Speaker C: Um, um, this is after
• 16:42
  trips up and down the valley from Salem to
• 16:45
  Portland to a special eye doctor.
• 16:48
  And the final treatment to. And
• 16:51
  correct me if I'm wrong, to eradicate
• 16:54
  the bacteria from your eye
• 16:57
  was so good.
• 17:00
  It's so audible, and I don't plan on
• 17:03
  changing it. Um, was to
• 17:06
  put a, uh, contact lens on your eye.
• 17:09
  >> Speaker A: That wasn't the final treatment.
• 17:11
  >> Speaker C: I don't know about the final treatment.
• 17:13
  >> Speaker A: No, you do. You just didn't know it was the final
• 17:15
  treatment.
• 17:18
  You want me to start at the.
• 17:19
  >> Speaker C: Beginning or wherever you want.
• 17:22
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 17:22
  >> Speaker A: So, long story short, uh, around
• 17:25
  Christmas time, about a week before Christmas, had been using tap
• 17:28
  water for contact solution, um, at a
• 17:31
  house that was quite less than 100%
• 17:33
  sanitary. Um, for about two
• 17:36
  weeks, I was doing that. And then on Christmas
• 17:39
  day when I was in Wenatchee, after I traveled down there to
• 17:42
  be with my family in central Washington, um, my
• 17:45
  eye started hurting, and I didn't know why. I figured it was just like an
• 17:48
  irritant, like my contact had been in too long or something. So it
• 17:51
  was on Christmas Day, I remember, because we just finished opening up presents, and
• 17:53
  so I went to bed, and the next morning it was worse. And I was like, oh, that's
• 17:56
  not good. And so it got worse over that day to the point where it
• 17:59
  hurt to open my eye. And so the next day, we went
• 18:02
  to an eye doctor in Wenatchee, and they
• 18:05
  gave us, like, an irritant little thing to put
• 18:08
  in it. And over the course of the next four,
• 18:11
  three or four months, I went to the
• 18:14
  doctors in Salem trying to get different prescriptions,
• 18:17
  and they couldn't figure it out. And so then I went up
• 18:20
  to this guy, up, the specialized eye doctor up in
• 18:22
  tiger, Oregon, and he was trying a few different
• 18:25
  things, and he couldn't figure it out. So he sent me all the way up to
• 18:28
  Ohsu, to the freaking college, where
• 18:31
  they looked at my eye through this microscope
• 18:34
  that went on my eye. Uh, and then they
• 18:37
  found a living parasite
• 18:39
  in my eye.
• 18:42
  They use this microscope to look at my eye, and what they found
• 18:45
  was a living
• 18:48
  bacteria, aka a parasite,
• 18:50
  essentially, in my eye, microscopic, but there was a bunch
• 18:53
  of them. And so, um, the
• 18:56
  way that they had to counteract this parasite was
• 18:59
  with, ah, another living culture that they was
• 19:02
  basically going to eat it in my eye, kill it for me.
• 19:04
  But in the meantime, my eye had sustained a lot of
• 19:07
  damage from all the things that they'd
• 19:10
  been putting in it. And so to help it heal and to protect
• 19:13
  the eye while it was receiving the treatment, they had
• 19:16
  developed this, uh, I guess it was
• 19:18
  fairly new, I don't know, at the
• 19:21
  time, ah, technology where they used
• 19:24
  a contact lens that had been
• 19:26
  made out of a human
• 19:28
  placenta.
• 19:29
  >> Speaker C: Yes.
• 19:30
  >> Speaker A: Aka afterbirth.
• 19:31
  >> Speaker C: Afterbirth.
• 19:37
  >> Speaker A: Uh, at this point, I'd probably been, I
• 19:40
  don't even know how many months into this, and it had been a pain
• 19:43
  the entire time. But this was one of the most painful things
• 19:46
  I have ever had happen to me, even to this day.
• 19:50
  The size of this contacts. So I wear contacts, and that's,
• 19:53
  uh, how this whole thing started. And they're usually about
• 19:56
  a little bit smaller than your entire eye. This whole
• 19:59
  thing, I swear, I don't remember super
• 20:02
  well what it looked like, but at the time, it looked so big that I could
• 20:05
  wrap my entire eyeball in it. It was
• 20:08
  like this big.
• 20:08
  >> Speaker C: Oh, no, it was huge. What the heck?
• 20:11
  >> Speaker A: See that on the podcast. But no, it was
• 20:14
  probably like, I want to say it was like two and a half inches,
• 20:17
  three inches long. And to
• 20:20
  get it in, they had to hold.
• 20:22
  >> Speaker C: The finger size he's holding up is larger than a
• 20:24
  powerade bottle cap. It was not safe.
• 20:27
  >> Speaker A: It was huge. They had to open my eye and wedge
• 20:30
  it up inside of there.
• 20:31
  >> Speaker C: So great.
• 20:32
  >> Speaker A: And then wedge it, and they would give me a little numbing thing, but you can't really get like a
• 20:35
  shot in your eye, so they would give me some numbing.
• 20:38
  >> Speaker C: You shouldn't do that.
• 20:39
  >> Speaker A: It was excruciatingly.
• 20:41
  >> Speaker B: Painful.
• 20:41
  >> Speaker A: Oh, gosh.
• 20:42
  >> Speaker C: I didn't realize it was that big.
• 20:43
  >> Speaker A: No, it hurts so bad. And when they put it in there, I
• 20:46
  essentially couldn't see anything out of it. It was almost
• 20:48
  like a shield. It wasn't really a
• 20:51
  contact lens. I only say that because that's the only thing I can.
• 20:53
  >> Speaker C: It's like looking through, um, it's like.
• 20:56
  >> Speaker A: An eye patch that goes in your eye, basically. Gosh.
• 20:59
  But it had these healing properties to
• 21:02
  it. But when it's first on your eye, it
• 21:05
  stings, and there's nothing you can do. You can't grab
• 21:08
  it or touch it or just take it, sit there and just, uh.
• 21:10
  Every time you get. So I had to have this done three times.
• 21:13
  >> Speaker C: I didn't know that either. I thought this was a one.
• 21:16
  >> Speaker A: No. Every time it happened, I had the guy just leave the room,
• 21:19
  and I just sat there for about 510 minutes and just tried
• 21:22
  not to scream. So he'd come back.
• 21:25
  And after, like, 1015 minutes, it actually felt
• 21:28
  amazing because my eye had been through so much pain,
• 21:31
  and it really helped. It shielded it
• 21:34
  from air and from everything else. And so it felt, like, really nice after
• 21:37
  it was in. But that initial shoving it in there was
• 21:40
  just super painful. But the problem is, uh,
• 21:42
  as you wear it, especially as we're putting the
• 21:45
  other drops in it, it would deteriorate until eventually it
• 21:48
  was completely, like, see through. I could see right out of it. So they'd have to take it
• 21:51
  out and put a new one in. So the thing that was
• 21:54
  actually killing the parasite was the
• 21:57
  other counterparasite that they were putting in my. And that was the thing
• 22:00
  that I had to carry around, uh, in a water bottle on
• 22:02
  ICE.
• 22:03
  >> Speaker B: Oh, yes.
• 22:05
  >> Speaker A: To all my classes. And I had to take it, like, every three or 4
• 22:07
  hours.
• 22:08
  >> Speaker C: The magical hydro flask,
• 22:11
  it had to.
• 22:11
  >> Speaker A: Stay cool, and I had to take it, like, three or four times a
• 22:14
  day. My solution to that was
• 22:17
  carry around a hydro flask, fill it with ICE,
• 22:19
  and have this little squirt bottle thing
• 22:22
  inside of it. And every time I pulled it out, the ICE would melt
• 22:25
  and go everywhere, everywhere
• 22:28
  in class, and it dropped in my
• 22:31
  eye.
• 22:32
  >> Speaker C: Well, I feel like I didn't know that those
• 22:35
  eyedrops were so crucial.
• 22:36
  >> Speaker A: That was what actually killed the parasite.
• 22:38
  >> Speaker C: I thought it was just to keep the thing on your eye wet
• 22:41
  or something.
• 22:42
  >> Speaker A: That was the counterpart m
• 22:45
  the placenta lens.
• 22:46
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 22:47
  >> Speaker A: That was just to basically keep anything else from
• 22:50
  interfering with it, uh, and to keep it safe while it healed.
• 22:53
  Because even after it
• 22:55
  was dead, um, my eye was
• 22:58
  still really fragile, and so they wanted to keep it on
• 23:01
  there. That third one, they wanted to put it on just so that nothing happened to
• 23:04
  it. It didn't get scratched or anything. And even to this
• 23:07
  day, my right eye is still, uh,
• 23:10
  scarred from it. No matter how
• 23:13
  good of contact lenses I wear, it's always slightly blurry
• 23:15
  through my right eye.
• 23:16
  >> Speaker B: Weird.
• 23:17
  >> Speaker A: Yes. It's permanent damage.
• 23:19
  >> Speaker C: Wow, man. It's war story.
• 23:22
  See, kids don't go to college.
• 23:23
  >> Speaker A: Wait, not the worst part, but one of the worst
• 23:26
  parts of the whole thing was just walking around with
• 23:29
  an eye. We love that
• 23:32
  I look like people
• 23:36
  wouldn't say things to me, but I know people would say
• 23:39
  things about me.
• 23:39
  >> Speaker C: No, a lot of what happened. I'm going to shoot straight with you. A lot of
• 23:42
  what happened was later people would come to Gavin and I,
• 23:45
  and, hey, like is, uh.
• 23:48
  Like, what's up with his, like, it's a
• 23:50
  long, like. And then depending on who it
• 23:53
  was, we'd be like, just talk to Austin. He'll tell you about his,
• 23:56
  um, whole.
• 23:58
  >> Speaker A: The whole ordeal after my last visit
• 24:01
  to the doctor was the following November.
• 24:04
  >> Speaker B: Geez.
• 24:04
  >> Speaker A: So it started in December. Almost a full year of going to
• 24:07
  doctors and dealing with this crap.
• 24:10
  >> Speaker C: That's spooky.
• 24:11
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 24:11
  >> Speaker A: Some lessons you learn the hard way.
• 24:13
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 24:15
  >> Speaker A: You're better for it, right? Yeah, maybe.
• 24:17
  >> Speaker C: Wait.
• 24:18
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 24:19
  >> Speaker C: So the other thing that I learned, not the hard way,
• 24:22
  but through firsthand experience, is, and I don't know if
• 24:25
  this is the technical term for it, but we're going to shoot for it. So,
• 24:28
  um, it's called
• 24:30
  odontarufobia. Uh,
• 24:33
  and I'm probably saying that wrong.
• 24:34
  >> Speaker A: I suck at all the words fear of teeth or something.
• 24:36
  >> Speaker C: Uh, well, it's the fear of
• 24:39
  things going in your mouth, specifically tooth
• 24:42
  instruments. Okay, now, there's not a fear of
• 24:45
  brushing teeth, but, um, when we were in college,
• 24:49
  you would disappear at toothbrushing time like some
• 24:52
  sort of mystery man. We all go brush our teeth, and
• 24:54
  Austin's gone, and we just didn't know where you went.
• 24:57
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 24:57
  >> Speaker C: But then I think it was the next year we found out that
• 25:00
  you're going to the lobby to brush your teeth.
• 25:03
  >> Speaker A: I would go to a lot of different places. I, uh, would brush my teeth
• 25:06
  in the dorm or in the bathroom if it was late and no
• 25:09
  one was there. But if there was a bunch of people in there and I thought it was going to be
• 25:12
  a while, I'd sometimes go to the lobby, bathroom, or
• 25:15
  upstairs.
• 25:17
  >> Speaker C: When did this start?
• 25:20
  What is it exactly? You explain it.
• 25:23
  >> Speaker A: I don't think it's teeth brushing exactly.
• 25:25
  I think it's just saliva. Okay. I
• 25:28
  think other people's saliva is just disgusting. And I don't like
• 25:31
  people seeing my saliva. It's just gross. Uh,
• 25:34
  I have gotten a lot better at it after getting married.
• 25:37
  I can brush my teeth with her in the room, but
• 25:40
  if she is looking at me or something, I'll be like,
• 25:43
  stop. I still do not
• 25:46
  want to be anywhere near her when she's brushing her teeth. Like, if
• 25:49
  she's brushing her teeth, I'll leave.
• 25:50
  >> Speaker B: We're out of here.
• 25:53
  >> Speaker A: I don't know. I think it's just, like, gross because all the
• 25:56
  spit and the bubbles and.
• 26:00
  Exactly. Um, the worst
• 26:03
  part is the kids at work spit all the
• 26:06
  time and they hawk, like, loogies and stuff, and it's so
• 26:09
  good. And they'll spit in the garbage cans
• 26:11
  constantly. And that is something that
• 26:14
  really. I've managed to not let anyone
• 26:17
  there figure that out about me yet. That's
• 26:20
  why it's so gross.
• 26:23
  I don't know.
• 26:24
  >> Speaker C: Teenagers will feed on that
• 26:27
  as soon as they figure out what gets you. They're just like, this is the one
• 26:30
  thing I will exist to do.
• 26:32
  >> Speaker A: I never knew that was like, uh. I mean, maybe
• 26:35
  it's a little more extreme with me, but it's
• 26:38
  nothing I really thought was out of the ordinary until
• 26:42
  I got to college. Really.
• 26:44
  >> Speaker C: I think what really did it for us was when
• 26:47
  you told us, and we were
• 26:49
  probably much less respectful than your wife is, because
• 26:52
  when you told us, it was like, oh, so we should go get our
• 26:55
  toothbrush and brush.
• 26:56
  >> Speaker A: Your teeth next to me in my bed.
• 26:59
  >> Speaker C: Corner him while he's in bed and brush
• 27:02
  our teeth around.
• 27:03
  >> Speaker A: Amplifies it, too. When there's like, three people and you hear
• 27:06
  in the m mouth, that's so good,
• 27:09
  I can't wait.
• 27:11
  >> Speaker C: Uh, yeah, but I
• 27:13
  think just to see you physically
• 27:16
  squirm, it was just unreal.
• 27:18
  >> Speaker A: It wasn't like, oh, man, I don't like that.
• 27:21
  >> Speaker C: This is almost causing you, like, mental harm.
• 27:23
  >> Speaker A: I think I'm learning to curb that a little bit.
• 27:26
  It's not as bad as it was for a time.
• 27:29
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, um, perfect.
• 27:32
  Um, I don't have any
• 27:35
  other big stories from college, if you have any
• 27:38
  from that time of your life,
• 27:41
  specifically bathroom related. Yeah.
• 27:43
  >> Speaker A: The only one that I remember vividly
• 27:46
  was, um. You know, I'm going to talk
• 27:49
  about, um.
• 27:53
  >> Speaker C: Is it the car?
• 27:54
  >> Speaker A: No. Okay. It's specifically bathroom.
• 27:59
  I know what you're talking about, but no, this isn't that so this is me
• 28:02
  specifically. Uh, there was, like
• 28:05
  a parent weekend
• 28:08
  where parents could come down
• 28:10
  and go to your classes with you,
• 28:13
  and it's in the fall, and I think
• 28:16
  they did it every year, but I don't know. But
• 28:19
  I think it was my. It was either my freshman or sophomore
• 28:22
  year. It might have even been before we knew each
• 28:25
  other. I can't remember, but
• 28:28
  I really can't remember.
• 28:29
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 28:30
  >> Speaker A: Um, but anyway. Yeah, anyways, it could have been sophomore
• 28:33
  year anyways, so I
• 28:36
  like to poop in privacy. I don't like pooping
• 28:39
  in a room with lots of people. And so I would
• 28:42
  go down to classrooms, build
• 28:45
  things, like late at night, and go upstairs into the bathrooms and
• 28:47
  poop there because it's quiet and there's no one there and I don't have to worry about anyone
• 28:50
  walking in on me or anything. And so I'd poop all over the place.
• 28:53
  And there's like two or three bathrooms that are really secluded on campus that I knew about.
• 28:56
  But, yeah, when I was in a pinch, I would
• 28:59
  just go in the single person bathroom in the lobby in
• 29:02
  Davidson because I knew no one could walk in my
• 29:05
  own. So,
• 29:07
  um, there's actually, like a few stories about this bathroom,
• 29:10
  but the biggest one, the worst one for me
• 29:13
  was when it was that parent
• 29:15
  teacher conference week. Whatever. It wasn't
• 29:18
  conference, but college. It was like an orientate. I don't even know
• 29:21
  what they call it.
• 29:22
  >> Speaker C: Like a visit weekend.
• 29:23
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, it's like a family visit weekend or whatever. And so a bunch of people's
• 29:26
  families were in town, and some
• 29:29
  of them were on the campus and in the dorms, like
• 29:32
  seeing their kids at college. And I had to poop really bad.
• 29:35
  And it was probably like in the middle of the
• 29:37
  afternoon, like two or 03:00 in the afternoon, and
• 29:40
  I went out to do my thing normally, and I went to that
• 29:43
  private bathroom in the door in the lobby,
• 29:46
  and I went in there and I was in the middle of taking a
• 29:48
  poop, um, when all of a sudden,
• 29:51
  um. Should
• 29:54
  I say his name or.
• 29:56
  >> Speaker C: We'll fix it later if it's a problem.
• 29:58
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 29:58
  >> Speaker A: Do you remember Josh? Uh, I think ostring was
• 30:01
  perfect.
• 30:02
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 30:04
  >> Speaker A: Josh ostring. Um,
• 30:08
  he had his grandparents in town, so his grandma
• 30:11
  and his grandfather were there, and I'm assuming because they
• 30:14
  were kind of old. Um, they
• 30:17
  were there in the lobby, apparently.
• 30:19
  And you know how sometimes you forget
• 30:22
  to lock a door until it's too late?
• 30:25
  >> Speaker C: Oh, no.
• 30:26
  >> Speaker A: So I'm just going to town in
• 30:29
  there. It stinks really
• 30:32
  bad. This is bad.
• 30:34
  And opens up this door, just swings
• 30:37
  open, like, no knock, nothing. Just, whoo.
• 30:40
  >> Speaker C: Surprise.
• 30:40
  >> Speaker A: And there's this, like, 70 year old lady with, like, gray hair,
• 30:43
  and she just kind of lets out, like, oh.
• 30:46
  And I didn't know what to do. I was just sitting there like,
• 30:49
  you've seen it. She's seen it
• 30:52
  all.
• 30:52
  >> Speaker C: She didn't run away that quick.
• 30:54
  >> Speaker A: She closed the door. But the thing is, there's
• 30:57
  only one way out of that bathroom, and
• 31:00
  it's right there in the lobby. And I didn't know how many other
• 31:03
  people saw that or what. And I was so
• 31:06
  embarrassed. I got up and I locked the door. I finished up in there, but
• 31:09
  I was terrified to come out because I thought she
• 31:12
  was still waiting because I figured she had to go. And so I was like, oh, my gosh,
• 31:15
  she's probably waiting for me to finish out there, and I don't want to see her again ever
• 31:18
  in my life. And so I went on
• 31:21
  Facebook and I started messaging everybody
• 31:23
  I knew. And I was like, I am hiding
• 31:26
  in the Davidson bathroom, and there's a
• 31:29
  grandma outside who just saw me pooping. And
• 31:32
  I need someone's help to distract her. Please help.
• 31:35
  >> Speaker C: So this is where I've heard of this
• 31:38
  story.
• 31:41
  >> Speaker A: I think eventually no one responded. I think I got, like, a
• 31:43
  few lulls and I was like, yeah, thanks.
• 31:46
  >> Speaker C: Just laughing at him.
• 31:47
  >> Speaker A: Eventually, I just opened the door and bolted to the
• 31:50
  left and straight into the hallway and then ran back to my room.
• 31:53
  And that was the end of that. But, uh,
• 31:57
  it was just like that moment. The worst
• 31:59
  part wasn't even when she walked in. It was me sitting in there trying to
• 32:02
  figure out how to leave because I figured she
• 32:05
  seemed like one of those nice old ladies that was going to come up to me and be like, I
• 32:08
  am so sorry about that. I didn't want
• 32:11
  that, you know, she wanted to be
• 32:14
  gone and hide, you.
• 32:15
  >> Speaker C: Know, if you did, she would be like, I promise I didn't see
• 32:18
  anything. Which is the worst thing, because that just
• 32:21
  means that she did.
• 32:22
  >> Speaker A: Uh, yeah, uh, it was pretty bad.
• 32:24
  >> Speaker C: Oh, man. No, that's awesome.
• 32:27
  Man, I wish I would have been.
• 32:30
  >> Speaker A: Don't.
• 32:31
  >> Speaker C: I wish I could have been Josh Ostrich's
• 32:34
  grandfather so that way
• 32:37
  I could do the triage, uh,
• 32:40
  with her. You know what?
• 32:42
  >> Speaker B: Only way.
• 32:43
  >> Speaker A: The only reason I knew it was them is because I'd seen them with
• 32:46
  him earlier in the day, like, at one classes.
• 32:48
  >> Speaker C: And so it was like, uh, visiting.
• 32:51
  Dude, the only memory I have about visit weekend was
• 32:54
  Dr. D doing the
• 32:57
  spiel on song of Solomon,
• 33:00
  and he walks in and he looks up, and
• 33:03
  there's just all the parents in the back row, and he,
• 33:07
  like, he didn't.
• 33:08
  >> Speaker A: Even know they were there.
• 33:08
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, well, he realized they were there. He goes, well, today
• 33:11
  we're talking about sex. And then he just kept going. Just
• 33:14
  didn't miss a beat. This dude has it.
• 33:17
  >> Speaker A: You know you're close to retirement when.
• 33:19
  >> Speaker C: Hey, who knows, man? That guy.
• 33:23
  It's crazy to think that he used to be, like, in a rock
• 33:25
  band.
• 33:26
  >> Speaker A: I didn't even know back in the day.
• 33:27
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, he used to be, like, a drummer or something. Surprising rock band.
• 33:30
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, he's wild.
• 33:31
  >> Speaker C: Um, well,
• 33:36
  first, uh, do you want to talk about honey jars at
• 33:38
  all?
• 33:40
  >> Speaker B: Honey jars?
• 33:43
  >> Speaker C: You don't have to. No, a simple no
• 33:46
  will suffice.
• 33:46
  >> Speaker A: I just don't really like. Honestly, you guys remember
• 33:49
  more about this than I do.
• 33:50
  >> Speaker C: Perfect. Then that's all that needs to be said.
• 33:53
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 33:56
  >> Speaker C: Uh, so any other bathroom
• 33:59
  stories? I have a few questions that I ask everybody,
• 34:02
  but they can kind of go rapid fire at the end. If you have any
• 34:05
  other pertinent bathroom stories about
• 34:08
  you or your brother. You have a little brother. I'm sure
• 34:11
  he's got something that he would love for everyone to hear about.
• 34:15
  >> Speaker A: I was trying to think of some before, but I haven't had too many.
• 34:18
  Other than things that everyone experiences.
• 34:21
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 34:21
  >> Speaker C: And I find that people really have
• 34:24
  one or two traumatic or big bathroom things. And
• 34:27
  that's it. And everything else is just little sprinklings
• 34:30
  all over the floor. Um,
• 34:33
  well, cool. So I have a few questions,
• 34:36
  um, to ask, and the first is,
• 34:39
  I can almost verify one. So, what
• 34:41
  type of toilet paper are you all charming?
• 34:44
  The big, beautiful bears.
• 34:46
  >> Speaker A: My wife doesn't care. I do.
• 34:48
  >> Speaker B: Wow.
• 34:49
  >> Speaker A: Softest, fluffiest, and it's the best.
• 34:51
  >> Speaker C: Are you doing the ultra strong red package or blue?
• 34:54
  >> Speaker A: I don't know if I do that as often.
• 34:57
  >> Speaker C: He's reaching for it.
• 34:58
  >> Speaker A: Get the cheapest one, so probably not, but that is a thick. As
• 35:01
  long as it's charmin.
• 35:02
  >> Speaker C: My goodness, that's a thick roll.
• 35:04
  >> Speaker A: I always get the charmin.
• 35:05
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, the big, beautiful bears. Um,
• 35:08
  well, hey, he's a charmin man. He knows what
• 35:11
  he likes.
• 35:12
  >> Speaker A: Um, I also know it takes more than four
• 35:14
  squares. Is that your.
• 35:16
  >> Speaker C: That's. Well, I'm
• 35:19
  on record saying three squares.
• 35:21
  >> Speaker A: Three squares. That's crazy.
• 35:22
  >> Speaker C: Especially with that. That stuff's thick.
• 35:24
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, but what, do you fold it?
• 35:26
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Okay.
• 35:27
  >> Speaker A: I'm not a folder.
• 35:28
  >> Speaker C: Oh, perfect. Go ahead. Tell us how you do it. You'll save
• 35:31
  me a question.
• 35:33
  >> Speaker A: If I'm doing it, I just kind of do that.
• 35:36
  >> Speaker C: Wow, that's a lot of sheet.
• 35:37
  >> Speaker A: I crinkle it and then.
• 35:38
  >> Speaker C: Sweet.
• 35:39
  >> Speaker A: Sometimes I'll make, like a nice little. There you go.
• 35:42
  >> Speaker B: Huh?
• 35:42
  >> Speaker A: There you go. I used to be a
• 35:45
  folder, but the problem with that is, I don't know. I feel
• 35:48
  like my fingers get closer than they need to
• 35:51
  to the crack, to the
• 35:54
  hole, to the black hole. I feel
• 35:56
  like with more toilet paper, there's more of a barrier between my
• 35:59
  fingers and my
• 36:02
  pooper.
• 36:02
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 36:03
  >> Speaker C: You just got to keep things centered on it, you know what I mean?
• 36:06
  >> Speaker A: I guess. I don't know. Either way, I just can't
• 36:08
  fathom three squares. That's insane to
• 36:11
  me.
• 36:12
  >> Speaker C: Well, but it's organized. Three
• 36:15
  squares.
• 36:15
  >> Speaker A: One, two, three. Yes, that much.
• 36:18
  >> Speaker C: And then you fold it.
• 36:20
  >> Speaker A: You fold it in half nicely again.
• 36:23
  >> Speaker C: I'm getting a live tutorial of what.
• 36:25
  >> Speaker B: I do regularly now.
• 36:27
  >> Speaker C: I will say, if what you did
• 36:30
  was wet or
• 36:33
  you feel like there's going to need to be some aggressive
• 36:35
  happening, you go one or two extra squares.
• 36:38
  >> Speaker A: I do one or two rolls like that. The
• 36:41
  first one, uh, it probably is.
• 36:43
  >> Speaker C: Well, no, but I also wipe like, five to seven
• 36:46
  times. So five to seven times at three squares of
• 36:48
  wipe.
• 36:49
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 36:49
  >> Speaker A: So you don't use the same. Okay.
• 36:51
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, we're not going hard.
• 36:53
  >> Speaker A: My dad used to explain how if you're ever lost
• 36:56
  in the woods, how to wipe with one.
• 36:59
  >> Speaker B: Yes, absolutely.
• 37:00
  >> Speaker C: One square. Is this the finger trick?
• 37:03
  >> Speaker A: Yeah.
• 37:04
  >> Speaker C: Poke the finger through?
• 37:05
  >> Speaker A: Uh, yeah, or something like that. Where he said the
• 37:08
  first thing you do is you save the
• 37:10
  corners like that.
• 37:12
  >> Speaker C: Interesting.
• 37:15
  >> Speaker A: And so you take off all the little corners. And then
• 37:17
  after that, you basically put your finger through.
• 37:19
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 37:20
  >> Speaker C: This is it.
• 37:20
  >> Speaker A: This is wipe it around. And then you just dig around in
• 37:23
  there. And then you use these.
• 37:24
  >> Speaker C: Root around in your skew, clean off.
• 37:26
  >> Speaker B: Whatever you got on your fingers. Yeah.
• 37:29
  >> Speaker A: Never tried it. Never want to. Um, I think I would just
• 37:32
  wait till I find a bathroom.
• 37:33
  >> Speaker C: I have not tried that, but I think I might just for posterity's
• 37:36
  sake in the show.
• 37:38
  >> Speaker A: Uh, try it.
• 37:39
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 37:40
  >> Speaker C: Would be the first thing I've tried for this show. I'm
• 37:43
  sitting in your bathroom right now.
• 37:44
  >> Speaker A: Some questions I don't need to know the answer to. But if you
• 37:47
  do, that's. Some people do. That's great. If I
• 37:50
  can get the answer from you, that's even better.
• 37:53
  >> Speaker C: Perfect.
• 37:53
  >> Speaker A: I happen to do it myself.
• 37:54
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 37:55
  >> Speaker C: And that's really 90% of the time. That's what this
• 37:58
  show is all about. So,
• 38:01
  again, just a quick visual check, but
• 38:04
  are you a bar soap or.
• 38:05
  >> Speaker A: A liquid soap, lad? Liquid soap. Liquid soap.
• 38:08
  Perfect. I work at prison.
• 38:12
  >> Speaker C: I don't understand the reference.
• 38:14
  >> Speaker A: You don't understand the reference? Well, no. Don't, uh, go to
• 38:17
  prison.
• 38:18
  >> Speaker C: I refuse. I wouldn't do well in
• 38:20
  prison.
• 38:21
  >> Speaker A: Wait.
• 38:23
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, there's no pokemon go in prison.
• 38:26
  >> Speaker A: And I don't think anyone does well in prison.
• 38:28
  >> Speaker C: Oh, some people do pretty well.
• 38:30
  >> Speaker A: I, uh, think people get used to it. I don't know if they
• 38:32
  do well, they do somebody.
• 38:37
  >> Speaker C: Wow. What's your opinion on
• 38:40
  baths? How are you on baths?
• 38:41
  >> Speaker A: I love baths. I take more baths than my wife.
• 38:45
  >> Speaker C: You're going to have to run me through your process here.
• 38:48
  Um, so will you just
• 38:51
  come in and declovee
• 38:54
  and write into the bath? Are you good
• 38:57
  with that?
• 38:57
  >> Speaker A: Pretty much, yeah.
• 38:58
  >> Speaker C: That doesn't give you any anxiety?
• 39:00
  >> Speaker A: Anxiety?
• 39:00
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 39:01
  >> Speaker A: Why would that give me anxiety?
• 39:02
  >> Speaker C: Well, for me, and I've
• 39:05
  shared here, uh,
• 39:07
  I do not do baths.
• 39:09
  >> Speaker A: What?
• 39:10
  >> Speaker C: Why? Because you're like your own
• 39:12
  human stew. Like, you're just kind of sitting in.
• 39:15
  >> Speaker A: Your own wet marinate.
• 39:16
  >> Speaker C: Yeah. That's bad.
• 39:19
  >> Speaker A: You're okay with wiping with one finger?
• 39:21
  >> Speaker B: No.
• 39:21
  >> Speaker A: You have a problem with sitting?
• 39:25
  >> Speaker C: I'm okay with trying to wipe with one
• 39:27
  finger.
• 39:28
  >> Speaker A: I will say that I don't usually use baths as
• 39:31
  the prime form of cleaning myself.
• 39:33
  >> Speaker C: Right.
• 39:34
  >> Speaker A: Like, if I take a bath, especially if it's. I don't usually
• 39:37
  take them in the morning. So if I do take a bath, it's
• 39:39
  usually, like, when I get home from work and
• 39:42
  I'm tired and I just want to sit and
• 39:45
  relax. Yeah. Um, my wife
• 39:48
  has gotten lots of bath salts and stuff
• 39:51
  from. Or, like,
• 39:53
  um, the bath bombs. I love the bath bombs. But she never takes
• 39:56
  baths, ever. I don't know
• 39:59
  that she's ever taken more than one or two that
• 40:02
  I've been aware of since we've been married. And so we had
• 40:05
  all these stuff that we got from our wedding and from
• 40:08
  birthdays and whatever before my family
• 40:10
  really knew that she didn't take baths. And so I've used
• 40:13
  almost all of it. Uh, we don't have any left. I've
• 40:16
  used it all. Oh, my God. I'll pour the
• 40:19
  salts in and use the bath bomb. And
• 40:22
  I've told her, too, like, hey, if you want to get me a present for
• 40:25
  Christmas, like a cheap stocking.
• 40:26
  >> Speaker C: Stuffer thing, you're just going hard.
• 40:28
  >> Speaker A: Give me a bath bomb.
• 40:28
  >> Speaker C: I love baths.
• 40:33
  >> Speaker A: The more of that stuff you put in there, too. The more you can kind of trick yourself into
• 40:36
  thinking that you're in some kind of cleansing.
• 40:38
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 40:39
  >> Speaker C: Instead of the key modifier being
• 40:42
  trick myself. Um, no. Hey, good for you.
• 40:45
  >> Speaker A: Uh, which is funny, though, because she likes hot tubs, and
• 40:48
  I don't really like hot tubs.
• 40:49
  >> Speaker B: Oh.
• 40:49
  >> Speaker C: See, I'm all good on hot tubs because the water is moving.
• 40:52
  >> Speaker A: Yeah. The cleanliness part isn't the part
• 40:55
  about it that gets me. It's too hot. I sit in there
• 40:58
  and I'm sweaty, and I just don't enjoy
• 41:01
  it because it's too hot. It's too warm.
• 41:03
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, I get that. That's fair.
• 41:05
  >> Speaker A: God wants in a pool.
• 41:07
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, pools are fine. Except for
• 41:10
  you could get cryptosporidium and it's
• 41:13
  fun. Um, whatever. Uh, so
• 41:16
  you got any bathroom pet peeves? Anything bathroom
• 41:19
  related that just drives you absolutely bonkers?
• 41:21
  >> Speaker B: Yes. Um.
• 41:24
  >> Speaker C: So I'm just going to go ahead and get ahead of you. Um,
• 41:27
  he's not on the hook for the next five to
• 41:30
  six minutes. All right. Um, I forced him to
• 41:33
  say this.
• 41:33
  >> Speaker A: Something actually, to my wife's credit. Um, she,
• 41:37
  I didn't think would ever stop doing this, and she pretty much has stopped
• 41:39
  completely.
• 41:40
  >> Speaker B: Perfect.
• 41:40
  >> Speaker A: My mom did this. I think anyone who's lived in a house with
• 41:43
  a woman of any kind has probably experienced this.
• 41:45
  >> Speaker C: I know what's coming.
• 41:46
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 41:46
  >> Speaker A: The hair on the shower. Ding, ding, ding.
• 41:49
  Shower wall.
• 41:50
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 41:51
  >> Speaker C: Circle gets the square. I don't understand this.
• 41:53
  >> Speaker A: My sister used to do it. My mom used to do it. And
• 41:57
  as soon as we were here, I saw them. They
• 41:59
  appear. You get in there for the shower, and they're just on the wall.
• 42:02
  And I told her, that is one of my biggest pet peeves, and I can't stand
• 42:05
  it. And I don't even remember the last time I saw
• 42:08
  one. I don't know if she wipes them down now or what she does,
• 42:11
  but they're gone.
• 42:12
  >> Speaker C: I've watched my wife's trick, and you just kind
• 42:15
  of take the finger and swirl and it creates just a
• 42:18
  little, like, hair nugget, and you just throw it away.
• 42:21
  >> Speaker A: Oh, really?
• 42:22
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, that's the trick I've witnessed.
• 42:24
  >> Speaker A: Um, that's one thing I really appreciate about her.
• 42:28
  That was one of those things I expected that I was just going to live with for the rest of my
• 42:31
  life. Yeah, the little hairs on the sharp bit.
• 42:34
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 42:34
  >> Speaker C: So do you all fight over which way the toilet paper faces
• 42:37
  here?
• 42:37
  >> Speaker B: No.
• 42:38
  >> Speaker A: We both know that it goes.
• 42:40
  >> Speaker C: You both feel that? That's right.
• 42:41
  >> Speaker A: We both know that's right.
• 42:42
  >> Speaker B: Okay. Uh-huh.
• 42:44
  >> Speaker A: You're not underneath, are you?
• 42:45
  >> Speaker C: Uh, I am convinced it doesn't matter.
• 42:48
  >> Speaker A: I'm convinced you're wrong. Well,
• 42:51
  it goes over the top.
• 42:55
  >> Speaker C: We can't settle this now.
• 42:59
  Um, so just the hair
• 43:02
  and the toothbrushing. But you know
• 43:05
  that.
• 43:08
  >> Speaker A: I can really think of pet peeves. I'm
• 43:11
  assuming you mean things that other people
• 43:14
  do in the bathroom.
• 43:15
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 43:15
  >> Speaker C: Or you. That you're like, I wish I could change public
• 43:18
  bathrooms.
• 43:19
  >> Speaker A: There's plenty of pet. Yes. I don't get people who
• 43:22
  graffiti sometimes to read,
• 43:25
  but, uh, especially at my
• 43:27
  work. It's like, you live here.
• 43:30
  Why are you guys making your own bathroom look like a
• 43:33
  pig style? It makes no sense to me. I don't
• 43:36
  know. Uh, or people who carve into the glass
• 43:39
  on, like, a public restroom.
• 43:41
  >> Speaker C: That's annoying.
• 43:41
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, that annoys me. Or people who just throw
• 43:44
  stuff like you walk into a restroom, there's just, like, an entire
• 43:47
  roll of toilet paper on the ground.
• 43:49
  >> Speaker B: Why?
• 43:50
  >> Speaker C: My favorite is when you walk in and the
• 43:52
  pointless potty seat covers. They've
• 43:55
  pulled one, but they got the whole package out and it's all over the
• 43:58
  floor.
• 43:59
  >> Speaker B: Come on.
• 43:59
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, thanks for ruining that for anyone else. I don't
• 44:02
  use those, though.
• 44:03
  >> Speaker C: Uh, I don't either. No, I can't figure them out.
• 44:06
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, I used to be sensitive about that, but then I was just
• 44:09
  like, well, now if there's any liquid on
• 44:12
  the seat, I've even got to the point where I'll just wipe it off.
• 44:14
  >> Speaker B: And sit on it.
• 44:16
  >> Speaker A: I used to look for a clean one, but I was like, whatever the.
• 44:19
  >> Speaker C: Seat covers thing is, like, every time I put one down,
• 44:22
  I can't get the flap to go the right way. And I'll go in the
• 44:25
  front, and then it gets in the water, and then when I
• 44:28
  shift to wipe, it just falls in. Yeah,
• 44:31
  but if I put it in the back, the poop hits.
• 44:33
  >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I hate that.
• 44:34
  >> Speaker A: When you're trying to move around or you stand up for something, and then
• 44:37
  now that it's, like, covering your butt,
• 44:40
  it's a mess.
• 44:40
  >> Speaker C: It's just not worth it.
• 44:42
  >> Speaker A: Um, and I think it's funny, too, that places
• 44:44
  will be so quick to have those for
• 44:47
  you to protect your butt. And
• 44:50
  yet there's no way of opening the door without
• 44:53
  using your hands. And I guarantee you there's a million more germs on
• 44:55
  that door handle than you're going to get on your butt.
• 44:59
  >> Speaker C: M. Yeah, the toilet seat
• 45:01
  is definitely not the worst culprit for the bathroom. I'm pretty sure, like,
• 45:04
  sink surfaces.
• 45:06
  >> Speaker A: Your own phone. Your own phone is like.
• 45:08
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 45:08
  >> Speaker A: Most people do not clean their phones on a regular basis.
• 45:11
  >> Speaker C: I regularly, once a week, just lick the surface of my phone
• 45:14
  just to keep your.
• 45:19
  Who needs vaccines?
• 45:20
  >> Speaker B: No. Um.
• 45:22
  >> Speaker C: You'Re good. Uh, what food establishment messes you
• 45:25
  up the worst? Like, just does you dirty?
• 45:28
  >> Speaker B: Um.
• 45:30
  >> Speaker A: Probably, um, any kind of thai food. I do not really
• 45:33
  like thai food. Anything with, like, curry or, like, spicy stuff.
• 45:36
  Curry? I don't like eating anything that's hot or
• 45:39
  spicy or sour, for that matter. I just don't
• 45:42
  really do that stuff. But honestly, I can eat
• 45:44
  fast food, Taco Bell, McDonald's, any of it. It
• 45:47
  doesn't really affect me.
• 45:48
  >> Speaker C: So thai food, huh?
• 45:49
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 45:49
  >> Speaker A: I mean, stuff gives me gas, like
• 45:52
  fight beans or broccoli or
• 45:54
  whatever.
• 45:55
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 45:55
  >> Speaker A: But I have a pretty tough stomach.
• 45:58
  >> Speaker B: I feel like.
• 45:59
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, hey, that's the way to, um.
• 46:02
  So when. I don't know if you were aware of this, but when we were in
• 46:05
  college, um, I don't know if you remember Matt Gibson. You
• 46:08
  remember him? M he was one of the ping pong golf ball guys
• 46:11
  down the hall with all the cinder blocks.
• 46:12
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 46:12
  >> Speaker C: Remember that? Um, he came up, or probably didn't
• 46:15
  come up with, but he taught me about the dark shower.
• 46:19
  Um, have you ever taken a dark shower?
• 46:21
  >> Speaker A: Like a shower in the dark?
• 46:22
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, shower, lights off.
• 46:24
  >> Speaker A: Not intentionally.
• 46:26
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 46:27
  >> Speaker C: Well, uh, it'll change your
• 46:29
  life.
• 46:30
  >> Speaker A: Why?
• 46:31
  >> Speaker C: It's like a sensory deprivation thing. Um,
• 46:35
  I'm just mostly spreading the good news of the dark shower right now.
• 46:38
  >> Speaker A: Close your eyes.
• 46:39
  >> Speaker C: No, it's different. There's something about having your eyes
• 46:42
  all the way open and not being able to see while you shower. It's just
• 46:45
  better. Well, so if you
• 46:47
  haven't done that, um, have you ever tried to eat an orange in
• 46:50
  the shower or have you ever tried to eat or drink
• 46:53
  anything in the shower?
• 46:55
  >> Speaker A: Um, not usually. I mean,
• 46:57
  I have been eating something, and then we'll
• 47:00
  put the rest of it in my mouth before I get in.
• 47:02
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 47:05
  >> Speaker C: So not active?
• 47:06
  >> Speaker A: No. Mostly just because it'll get my food
• 47:09
  wet.
• 47:09
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, but I think the notion
• 47:12
  is like, something like an orange,
• 47:15
  you're going to get a mess anyway. You might as well just get in the shower,
• 47:18
  I guess.
• 47:19
  >> Speaker A: Yeah. It's never really occurred to me. It's one of those things
• 47:22
  that.
• 47:22
  >> Speaker C: There you go.
• 47:23
  >> Speaker A: I do have a problem with, like, eating on the toilet. I don't get people
• 47:26
  who do that.
• 47:26
  >> Speaker C: In one end, out the other.
• 47:27
  >> Speaker B: Huh?
• 47:28
  >> Speaker C: No.
• 47:28
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 47:29
  >> Speaker A: That's weird to me. To eat where you defecate.
• 47:33
  >> Speaker B: Yeah,
• 47:38
  but sometimes you have to.
• 47:40
  >> Speaker A: Sometimes you don't
• 47:42
  slice pizza.
• 47:43
  >> Speaker C: You're at youth group. The only place away from all the teens is the bathroom you
• 47:46
  go in.
• 47:47
  >> Speaker A: You don't eat pizza with your youth?
• 47:49
  >> Speaker C: No, I eat it with them. But, like,
• 47:52
  when you just need a second, eat your pizza in peace.
• 47:55
  I'm going to go toss one back in the bathroom.
• 47:57
  >> Speaker A: See, I don't find that. I don't know, I wouldn't be able
• 48:00
  to. I would
• 48:02
  feel more peace eating the pizza in front of them than on a toilet.
• 48:05
  >> Speaker C: Oh, no, it's not an in front of them thing. It's like,
• 48:08
  can I eat this pizza without some?
• 48:10
  >> Speaker A: I'd rather have the kid annoy me.
• 48:12
  >> Speaker C: Shouting yolo in my ear.
• 48:14
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, I'd still rather have that. Hey,
• 48:17
  fair enough.
• 48:19
  >> Speaker C: Have you ever performed a waffle stomp?
• 48:22
  >> Speaker B: No.
• 48:22
  >> Speaker A: Uh, but
• 48:26
  maybe it's kind of on my bucket list.
• 48:29
  I've always wanted to poop in a urinal. That's like
• 48:32
  my thing. Hey, I've always wanted to poop in, like, you know,
• 48:34
  those urinals that, um. Have you ever been to Judson middle
• 48:37
  school here in Salem?
• 48:40
  >> Speaker C: Are these like the ground urinals?
• 48:41
  >> Speaker A: No, they're the ones that kind of look like they're almost like bowls, but
• 48:44
  they stick out from the.
• 48:47
  >> Speaker C: Oh, no.
• 48:47
  >> Speaker A: I don't know. It's almost like a toilet bowl, but it's a urinal and it sticks
• 48:50
  out really far and you could almost, like, sit on one
• 48:53
  and poop in it.
• 48:54
  >> Speaker C: And it's a urinal.
• 48:55
  >> Speaker A: And it's a urinal. But the only problem is there are no dividers or
• 48:58
  anything there. Like, they're all just next to each other. So if anyone walks in,
• 49:00
  also, it's a middle school, you're going to go to
• 49:03
  jail.
• 49:04
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 49:05
  >> Speaker A: But I've always thought it would be interesting to
• 49:08
  try and poop in a year old, but I've,
• 49:11
  in theory, thought about how it would work to poop in the
• 49:14
  shower. But I feel like I
• 49:17
  haven't ever lived in my own place
• 49:20
  and I feel like if anyone I lived with found out that I did
• 49:23
  that, they would be less than excited about it.
• 49:27
  >> Speaker C: They are when they find out. When they find out,
• 49:30
  all right, they're less than excited.
• 49:32
  >> Speaker A: I can't say, uh, it's something that I
• 49:35
  need to do before I die, but maybe if I was
• 49:37
  ever at a camp.
• 49:40
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 49:41
  >> Speaker A: And I was with a bunch of weirdos,
• 49:43
  maybe.
• 49:44
  >> Speaker C: Yeah. Spirit moves.
• 49:47
  Yeah. Would you be more inclined to
• 49:50
  do that or just like, poop and try.
• 49:52
  >> Speaker A: To catch it and toss it in the toilet.
• 49:53
  >> Speaker B: That's not happening.
• 49:55
  >> Speaker A: If I'm going to toss in the toilet, why wouldn't it just go in the
• 49:58
  first place?
• 50:00
  >> Speaker C: Because you don't want to get out of the shower all wet.
• 50:03
  >> Speaker A: I will say that something about how wet
• 50:06
  poop is affects my desire to touch it.
• 50:09
  Uh, there's been times where I've been out in the yard, and I've been trying to take care of
• 50:12
  my dog's poop, and it's been out there for a while. It's all crusty and dry,
• 50:15
  and I almost just want to pick it up and throw it in the thing because
• 50:18
  that shovel is, like, on the other side of the yard.
• 50:20
  >> Speaker C: I'm like, it's so much easier, but.
• 50:21
  >> Speaker A: When it's wet and it's, like, hot. That's gross.
• 50:24
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 50:25
  >> Speaker C: Throw. We used to throw cow, uh,
• 50:28
  turds at each other in high school in just. It was
• 50:31
  like, pine cone fights, but it was just, like, cow chips. Just.
• 50:34
  >> Speaker A: I've definitely been over at my friend Seth's house because he
• 50:37
  lives kind of, like, on a farm almost. They have horses and
• 50:40
  stuff. I've been over there before and picked up, like, we've had, like,
• 50:43
  dirt claw fights. Dirt clot. What do
• 50:45
  you call them? Yeah, the dirt and dirt
• 50:48
  clot explode.
• 50:49
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 50:50
  >> Speaker A: Um, we've done that before, and I've picked one up and
• 50:53
  been like, this is weird. And definitely had it been
• 50:56
  cow or.
• 50:57
  >> Speaker C: Horse poop, this is a
• 51:00
  special dirt claw.
• 51:03
  >> Speaker A: And I was kind of like, oh, and I had already broken it
• 51:06
  apart. I was in it, and then
• 51:09
  just.
• 51:09
  >> Speaker C: Like, this cap of toothpaste stuff.
• 51:12
  >> Speaker A: You smelled it?
• 51:12
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 51:13
  >> Speaker A: Tasted it.
• 51:14
  >> Speaker C: Get your snoot right. Actually, you can eat.
• 51:17
  You would not. Well, I won't say you wouldn't, but you're
• 51:19
  less likely to get sick from cow and
• 51:22
  horse poop because they eat.
• 51:24
  >> Speaker A: Plants, really, than your own poop?
• 51:27
  >> Speaker C: Uh, yes, because the
• 51:29
  meat, the bacteria, feeds on the
• 51:32
  proteins. Like, the meat proteins.
• 51:34
  >> Speaker A: Yeah. I've even heard that drinking your own urine,
• 51:37
  especially if you drink a lot of water
• 51:39
  during the day, isn't even that. Because it's, like, 90% water.
• 51:42
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 51:43
  >> Speaker C: It's supposed to be sterile, but I don't. Go
• 51:46
  ahead.
• 51:46
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 51:47
  >> Speaker A: That's not a question you need answered.
• 51:52
  >> Speaker C: Well, cool. That's all the questions and all the things I
• 51:54
  have for you. Um, do you have anything
• 51:57
  that you want to leave folks with or,
• 52:00
  uh, any parting remarks?
• 52:02
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, lock the door if you don't want anyone in the building
• 52:05
  walking in on you.
• 52:06
  >> Speaker C: Perfect. It's good advice all around.
• 52:10
  >> Speaker A: I even locked the door here.
• 52:12
  >> Speaker C: Really?
• 52:13
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 52:13
  >> Speaker A: It's weird. My wife always gets mad at me because
• 52:16
  I will poop before I shower.
• 52:19
  >> Speaker C: Okay, then. You don't, um, unlock in between?
• 52:22
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, but I just lock doors, like,
• 52:25
  behind me in general, so I don't even know if that's a bathroom thing. Maybe it's from that.
• 52:28
  >> Speaker B: I don't know. Yeah.
• 52:29
  >> Speaker A: Hey, but I go out the door, I lock it. I lock everything. I
• 52:32
  just lock doors behind me. Uh, that's also part of where I work,
• 52:34
  too.
• 52:35
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 52:35
  >> Speaker A: But I will definitely get in here and lock the
• 52:38
  door, poop, and then forget to unlock it, get in the shower, and then she'll
• 52:41
  be mad because I need to go use my
• 52:44
  makeup or whatever.
• 52:46
  >> Speaker C: I just don't lock bathroom doors
• 52:48
  ever. Unless it's, like, a stall, and I'll latch the stall.
• 52:51
  >> Speaker A: But you're waiting for
• 52:54
  that opportunity to I just traumatize someone's
• 52:57
  grandma.
• 52:58
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 52:58
  >> Speaker C: No, for me, it's like a safety thing. Like, I want
• 53:01
  to know who the intruder is before they try to kill me.
• 53:04
  >> Speaker A: I see.
• 53:06
  >> Speaker C: I can pop it open, and I can get the element of surprise on
• 53:09
  them. No, I don't know.
• 53:12
  Well, cool. Well, thank you for letting
• 53:15
  me set up all my nonsense in your bathroom.
• 53:18
  >> Speaker A: This is fun.
• 53:18
  >> Speaker C: And harassing you for.
• 53:19
  >> Speaker A: Thanks for letting me be part of it.
• 53:21
  >> Speaker C: Yeah. Um, and thank you all for listening. You get to see
• 53:24
  the weird, shameful ending that I hate doing.
• 53:28
  >> Speaker A: You ever watch your dog poop?
• 53:30
  >> Speaker C: And they have like. They're like,
• 53:33
  that's how I feel every time I do the ending where I'm like,
• 53:36
  hey, you should come check out the show. It'll be really
• 53:39
  great. Send me an email.
• 53:41
  No, but, yeah, follow us on social media at
• 53:44
  Privycast. Send us an email,
• 53:45
  privycast@gmail.com. I'm going as fast as I
• 53:48
  can. Um, we'd like to thank. And we have
• 53:51
  to thank. We'd like to, though, Kevin, uh,
• 53:54
  McLeod for the use of barroom
• 53:57
  ballet as our intro and outro music. You can find
• 54:00
  Kevin's music@incompetent.com
• 54:02
  his music is licensed under Creative Commons license
• 54:05
  Attribution 4.0. Thanks, Kevin.
• 54:09
  This has been another episode of privy. Thank you for
• 54:12
  listening. Thank you for being here in your own home and your own
• 54:14
  bathroom. And now, as always,
• 54:19
  don't forget to flush.