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Practicing Intuition with Laura Day · Dear Chelsea

0:00
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, I am officially on my High and Mighty tour.
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Speaker 1: March thirteenth, Cleveland, Ohio. March fourteenth Columbus, Ohio. March fifteenth, Cincinnati, Ohio,
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Speaker 1: and then March twentieth is Denver, Colorado. March twenty seventh, Portland, Maine.
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Speaker 1: March twenty eighth, Providence, Rhode Island. March twenty ninth, Springfield, Massachusetts.
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Speaker 1: April tenth is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater.
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Speaker 1: April eleventh, Indianapolis, Indiana. April twelfth Louisville, Kentucky. April sixteenth
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Speaker 1: is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April seventeenth is Mesa, Arizona. April
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Speaker 1: twenty third is Kansas City, Missouri. April twenty fourth is
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Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri. April twenty fifth is Minneapolis, Minnesota. April
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Speaker 1: thirtieth Nashville, Tennessee. May first is Charlotte, North Carolina. May
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Speaker 1: second is Durham, North Carolina. May sixth, I'm doing Netflix
0:52
Speaker 1: as a joke festival. I will be in Los Angeles.
0:55
Speaker 1: That is a new announcement, along with Atlantic City. May fifteenth, Toga, California.
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Speaker 1: May sixteenth, Monterey, California, May seventeenth Modesto, California, and then
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Speaker 1: June fourth.
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Speaker 2: Portchester, New York.
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Speaker 1: June fifth is Boston, mass And June twelfth is Portland, Oregon.
1:13
Speaker 1: And then Seattle is June thirteenth. So suck on that.
1:17
Speaker 1: Everybody go to Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.
1:21
Speaker 3: Hi, Catherine, how are you?
1:23
Speaker 4: Hi, Chelsea? You've got a full house today.
1:25
Speaker 5: I do.
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Speaker 3: I'm Mac and Whistler.
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Speaker 2: I went to Finland, then I went to Istanbul.
1:29
Speaker 1: Then I went to la for one night, then I
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Speaker 1: went to Vegas for my show in Vegas, and then
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Speaker 1: I'm now I'm in Whistler.
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Speaker 3: It's a tilt to world. It's a tilt to world truly.
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Speaker 4: Okay, tell me about Istanbul, because you seem like you
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Speaker 4: had a really magical time there.
1:42
Speaker 1: It was pretty It was pretty beautiful. It was a
1:44
Speaker 1: beautiful trip. It was just so cultural, like you learn
1:47
Speaker 1: so much.
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Speaker 3: It was like a street. It's not considered a Muslim country.
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Speaker 1: It's considered a secular country, but it's it's ninety nine
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Speaker 1: point nine percent Muslim, so they call for prayer all
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Speaker 1: day long. And we got like a huge history on
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Speaker 1: the Automan Empire, the Byzantine.
2:00
Speaker 3: Empire, then met the Conqueror.
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Speaker 1: It was like full on and then one side is Asia,
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Speaker 1: one side's Europe, so you can like be on two continents,
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Speaker 1: you know, in one trip.
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Speaker 3: So yeah, it was really beautiful.
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Speaker 1: Finland was absolutely stunning, one of the most beautiful, most
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Speaker 1: peaceful places I've ever seen in my life. And then
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Speaker 1: we went to Helsinki, not as beautiful. That felt like
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Speaker 1: I was in a Russian bathhouse. There was ice everywhere.
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Speaker 1: There was more ice in Helsinki than there was an Antarctica,
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Speaker 1: so let me just put it that way.
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Speaker 3: And it wasn't the good kind. It was just slush everywhere.
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Speaker 3: Was a shit show.
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Speaker 4: Oh no, so it's like warming up and getting slushy
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Speaker 4: and mushy.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it was. It was just all bad.
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Speaker 6: It was.
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Speaker 3: It was like black snow.
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Speaker 1: And all they do in Finland is sauna and karaoke,
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Speaker 1: so they may as well just put the karaoke inside
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Speaker 1: the sauna and kill two birds with one stone and
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Speaker 1: not even leave the fucking house.
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Speaker 3: Do you have a karaoke song?
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Speaker 2: Do you have a goat to?
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Speaker 3: I don't. I don't do that.
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Speaker 1: I don't participate in karaoke, don't partici no I don't
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Speaker 1: have a good voice friend to shade to make anyone
3:01
Speaker 1: listen to that.
3:02
Speaker 3: I know better.
3:03
Speaker 1: My dancing is bad enough, so I figure I just
3:06
Speaker 1: bless people with that, and then I'm back on the
3:08
Speaker 1: road this weekend. I'm in Cincinnati or no, Cleveland, Columbus
3:11
Speaker 1: and Cincinnati this weekend, so I am on the go.
3:14
Speaker 1: The LSDA is here and ready to stay. Guys, I
3:18
Speaker 1: got a permanent injection, I.
3:20
Speaker 4: Mean, speaking of things that'll change your mental state our
3:23
Speaker 4: guests today is an intuitive.
3:25
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly, So hopefully this will help you deal with
3:27
Speaker 1: everything that's going on in the world because I just
3:29
Speaker 1: keep bouncing around trying to avoid everything, which I know
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Speaker 1: is not a solution, but I'm trying to gather my strength.
3:35
Speaker 1: She is an intuitive, as you said, and an author
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Speaker 1: of the new book it's called The Prism Seven Steps
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Speaker 1: to Heal Your Past and Transform Your Future.
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Speaker 4: Right, and you can also find free intuitive activations on
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Speaker 4: her YouTube page and live events on her website at
3:48
Speaker 4: Lauraday dot com slash events.
3:50
Speaker 3: Please welcome Laura Day.
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Speaker 1: Okay, Laura Day, who is the author of The Prism
3:54
Speaker 1: Seven Steps to Heal Your Past and Transform Your Future
3:59
Speaker 1: and who does it need to heal their past and
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Speaker 1: transform their future capping. So this is a great book
4:04
Speaker 1: about well it's a guy. It's kind of a work book.
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Speaker 1: It gives you things to do. I've done a couple
4:10
Speaker 1: of them so far. How do you self describe? Like,
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Speaker 1: what do you describe yourself as?
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Speaker 5: I describe myself as a practicing intuitive but nobody really
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Speaker 5: knows what that means. Basically, I'm a psychic, but I
4:22
Speaker 5: hate that word. I don't own a crystal ball. I
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Speaker 5: don't you know, it doesn't really mean anything. Really, I'm
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Speaker 5: somebody who in the early eighties was an experimental subject
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Speaker 5: for tests on extrasensory perception, which means your ability to
4:38
Speaker 5: move your attention in time and space, which in the
4:42
Speaker 5: early eighties there was a lot of interest in. It
4:44
Speaker 5: was less esoteric back then and more scientific. So practicing
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Speaker 5: intuitive and most of my books are really about how
4:52
Speaker 5: do you, as a person as a company engage these
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Speaker 5: extrasensory perceptions to create better life as opposed to complicate
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Speaker 5: your life with more theology.
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Speaker 1: Right, and you talk a lot about like a space
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Speaker 1: and time continuum. You actually talk about quantum physics in
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Speaker 1: this book. So what a perfect opportunity for you to
5:12
Speaker 1: break that down for us, Why don't you give us
5:16
Speaker 1: a mini tutorial on quantum physics, because I think we
5:19
Speaker 1: could all use one, myself included obviously.
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Speaker 5: Well, although we experience time on a continuum, which means
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Speaker 5: as a past, present and future, physicists would describe time
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Speaker 5: really as a place where it happens now, and that
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Speaker 5: we move ourselves around in that place. That doesn't mean
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Speaker 5: that we can't change that. Things are predestined, and it's
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Speaker 5: one of the things I hate the most, the idea
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Speaker 5: of predestination. You know that somebody else's is pulling your
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Speaker 5: marrit and net strings. But what it does mean is,
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Speaker 5: and there's a lot of research. I mean, I'm basically
5:55
Speaker 5: a math and science nerd. I went to Stuyvesant, which
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Speaker 5: is a think tank for everyone who wears wire rimmed spectacles.
6:01
Speaker 5: But what it really means is that we can shift
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Speaker 5: things in the moment that maybe even happen, but certainly
6:09
Speaker 5: that will happen, and it's using that skill I use.
6:13
Speaker 5: My day job is I work for four fortune five
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Speaker 5: hundred companies and I predict the future, and that is
6:19
Speaker 5: my job. But I do it for companies because a
6:23
Speaker 5: they'll fire you if you're wrong, So it's your crazy barometer.
6:28
Speaker 5: And b I think it's very dangerous for people who
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Speaker 5: aren't learning to do it in community or for themselves,
6:34
Speaker 5: because people believe anything, and you've got to be Skepticism
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Speaker 5: is such a wonderful thing. So I really my soapbox
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Speaker 5: is do this in community, do it for yourself, do
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Speaker 5: evidence based things, make a small shift, and notice what changes.
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Speaker 5: Be evidence based.
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Speaker 1: And I mean you focus a lot on your thoughts, right,
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Speaker 1: you know in this book it's all about kind of
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Speaker 1: your intention and your thought and making things happen, imagining
7:02
Speaker 1: them to happen for yourself, making them happen for yourself. Right,
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Speaker 1: would you say that's an accurate assessment.
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Speaker 5: In the beginning, yes, In the beginning, I ask you
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Speaker 5: to set three goals, and that's because goals are the
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Speaker 5: container for our efforts. You know, when we don't have goals,
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Speaker 5: we're just scattering our energy everywhere. But after that, this
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Speaker 5: is really I think the big difference between this and
7:23
Speaker 5: most self help is this isn't about changing yourself, because
7:28
Speaker 5: you can't change a broken system with a broken tool.
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Speaker 5: It's about do something different and then notice what happens.
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Speaker 5: So identify what it is you want to change, and
7:38
Speaker 5: then try one small action that's different, and notice how
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Speaker 5: the world around you responds. Because one of the things
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Speaker 5: that all sciences are now agreeing on, even biology and medicine,
7:53
Speaker 5: which is miraculous, like come from a huge line of
7:56
Speaker 5: doctors and changing their minds is nearly impossible, is that
8:00
Speaker 5: we live in an interconnected world. So really, a tiny
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Speaker 5: change doesn't just change you, it changes everything around you.
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Speaker 5: Because I know that things are interconnected. I made my mantra,
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Speaker 5: wow yes, so every time, and I'm someone who says
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Speaker 5: no to everything. Every time somebody would say why don't
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Speaker 5: you try this, or please come here or please speak here,
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Speaker 5: I'd say, wow, yes, you need a catalyst, something outside
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Speaker 5: of yourself. You cannot think or act outside the box.
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Speaker 5: You are the box. You are the prism. A catalyst
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Speaker 5: is so important. And that's why I write self help
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Speaker 5: is because it is a catalyst you do something different.
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Speaker 5: And I always tell people pick the thing where you say, oh,
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Speaker 5: my God, is psychic? Did write this book? I cannot
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Speaker 5: even believe she's asking me to try this. Pick the
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Speaker 5: thing that really you go yah, that doesn't resonate with you,
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Speaker 5: because if it resonates with you.
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Speaker 2: It resonates with an old yeo oh interesting.
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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, wait, let's circle back to the quantum physic
9:00
Speaker 1: linear time space continuum, because what you said was basically,
9:03
Speaker 1: we all, you know, our conscious sentient beings here think. Okay,
9:08
Speaker 1: it's that we're in a space, a time continuum, where
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Speaker 1: it's a linear today's Monday, tomorrow's Tuesday, the next day's Wednesday.
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Speaker 3: That idea.
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Speaker 1: So when I want to have a better understanding of
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Speaker 1: how you see things.
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Speaker 5: I wish I could say I was wise. People confuse
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Speaker 5: intuition with wisdom. Intuition is where someone gives you a
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Speaker 5: question or target, and your attention goes someplace and you
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Speaker 5: report and it responds to that target. It doesn't become
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Speaker 5: part of you like my husband's wise. I'm not. You
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Speaker 5: give me, you give me a question and my attention
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Speaker 5: goes there and I can describe it and it's usually accurate.
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Speaker 5: My I don't experience intuition is mystical at all. I
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Speaker 5: I it's like almost being in a in a multi
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Speaker 5: dimensional graph and you go to a different place on
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Speaker 5: the ground, and most of what I work with you know,
10:02
Speaker 5: although you know now that I'm sixty six, I let
10:04
Speaker 5: myself be have fun with a little more of the esoteric.
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Speaker 2: God knows.
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Speaker 5: When I was twenty and working with companies, I didn't
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Speaker 5: I didn't even speak about some of my more esoteric experiences.
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Speaker 5: And I always pray that my companies don't watch my Instagram.
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Speaker 2: But you, you and me, both sisters.
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Speaker 5: But my experience of intuition is just that it's data.
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Speaker 5: When people are talking about things, for example, I have
10:30
Speaker 5: a multisensory experience of them when people lie to me,
10:35
Speaker 5: unless I'm intimately involved with them, in which case I
10:39
Speaker 5: have no boundaries so I can be taken advantage of easily.
10:43
Speaker 5: But when people lie to me where it's one step removed,
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Speaker 5: I know because I'm seeing the film or experiencing what
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Speaker 5: actually happened. There's a myth that an intuitive knows everything
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Speaker 5: about you.
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Speaker 2: They don't.
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Speaker 5: It's like having one piece of a puzzle, the piece
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Speaker 5: you want them to look at, that you ask about,
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Speaker 5: or if you're not asking anything, the piece you're most
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Speaker 5: stressed about. You know that gathers the most attention. But
11:07
Speaker 5: you know everybody has these experiences. And when I was
11:09
Speaker 5: in my early twenties and I was being studied and
11:13
Speaker 5: you know, the universities would say, well, I mean basically
11:16
Speaker 5: they were saying, oh, she's a freak, so she can
11:18
Speaker 5: do this, but most people can't. And I my first
11:21
Speaker 5: book is taking the experience from the test done on
11:25
Speaker 5: me and getting everybody to do them because everybody can
11:28
Speaker 5: do this. It's just we train intellect, we train socialization,
11:34
Speaker 5: we train all those things over a lifetime. We don't
11:37
Speaker 5: train our intuition. And that is dangerous because I mean,
11:40
Speaker 5: I'm sure that everyone, especially women who are more aware
11:46
Speaker 5: of it, have had the experience of your doing something
11:48
Speaker 5: that someone else wants you to do that they haven't
11:50
Speaker 5: even expressed that they.
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Speaker 2: Want you to do.
11:52
Speaker 5: That's completely not in your best interest, but it feels
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Speaker 5: like your decision. That's telepathy. That's that porosity that we have.
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Speaker 5: And we actually are very poor. And there's a lot
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Speaker 5: of research. You can go on Pubbed for example, and
12:08
Speaker 5: search precognition or science search to letpathy science. There's a
12:13
Speaker 5: lot of research now. And when I started in the
12:16
Speaker 5: early eighties, a lot of it was descriptive, so you
12:20
Speaker 5: would be given coordinates and you describe what was there.
12:24
Speaker 5: But now they have tests and they'd name them. These
12:29
Speaker 5: really complex things that you would have trouble looking up.
12:32
Speaker 5: But they have tests where because we have the instrumentation,
12:37
Speaker 5: you can see that your brain reacts to a photograph
12:41
Speaker 5: that a computer will randomly generate. Next, so the computer
12:47
Speaker 5: hasn't generated the photograph, but if it's a horrific one,
12:50
Speaker 5: you can see that the brain reaction happens in advance.
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Speaker 5: And when people train this skill, which is why I
12:57
Speaker 5: think it's so important to train it. We live in
13:01
Speaker 5: the moment, which is where our power is. You know,
13:03
Speaker 5: your power is not in the past. Your power is
13:06
Speaker 5: not in the future. Your powers in the moment, of course.
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Speaker 5: You know, having a sense of the future helps you
13:12
Speaker 5: strategize and recontextualizing the past helps you function because we
13:18
Speaker 5: have you know, we're not taught to be the heroes
13:20
Speaker 5: of our own stories. We are even if you were victimized,
13:23
Speaker 5: if I come from a family of suicides, if you
13:26
Speaker 5: are standing here, you are the hero of your own story.
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Speaker 5: You are doing well enough. And so the past is
13:35
Speaker 5: important in terms of that present context because when you
13:39
Speaker 5: are empowered now, all of a sudden, your vision opens up.
13:44
Speaker 5: And you know.
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Speaker 2: The reason I like the.
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Speaker 5: Metaphor of the prism is the prism refracts things and
13:51
Speaker 5: takes in things, and your prism is formed in the
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Speaker 5: first seven years of your life. You want the minute
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Speaker 5: that you have have an ego and I you want
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Speaker 5: to start saying, Okay, this is what I want. I
14:06
Speaker 5: have these beliefs that I may not even be aware of,
14:08
Speaker 5: but what's functional right now to have the things I
14:12
Speaker 5: want in my life? And that always again takes a catalyst.
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Speaker 1: You talk about ego in the book and that it's
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Speaker 1: not a bad thing. So let's talk about why it.
14:25
Speaker 2: Is a good thing to have an ego.
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Speaker 5: Okay, So when people talk about spirit, what they're really
14:32
Speaker 5: talking about is energy. They're talking about that oneness of energy,
14:36
Speaker 5: and the oneness of energy though it isn't doing anything,
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Speaker 5: it's blended, it's perfect at the stage it's at ego
14:48
Speaker 5: is the is really a mechanical structure which we are well,
14:52
Speaker 5: you know, we're spiritual beings. But spirit is energy. It's
14:55
Speaker 5: a structure that allows us to create. Without an eye,
15:00
Speaker 5: you can't create anything, You're just an amorphous mass. So
15:04
Speaker 5: the ego is I love, I create, I want, I hate,
15:09
Speaker 5: I believe in I fight for anything.
15:12
Speaker 2: That is an eye.
15:13
Speaker 5: It is literally the structure. It's how we take in information,
15:17
Speaker 5: because of course you put twenty people in the same
15:19
Speaker 5: room and everyone experiences it differently. So it's the facets
15:23
Speaker 5: to which we take in information, but it's also what
15:27
Speaker 5: we put out and what we create outwardly. So people
15:32
Speaker 5: without strong egos are really I mean intuitives for example,
15:39
Speaker 5: don't have strong egos because they part of the reason
15:42
Speaker 5: they're intuitive is they had to survive early and they
15:45
Speaker 5: didn't get to form that sense of eye when you're born,
15:49
Speaker 5: the difference between you and your environment. You don't sense
15:52
Speaker 5: a difference. There's no mechanism for I am separate from
15:56
Speaker 5: my caretakers. I'm separate from this bed. You know, you
15:59
Speaker 5: have some drug, but you don't have a separateness. So
16:02
Speaker 5: your separateness is your ego. And if you're not separate,
16:07
Speaker 5: you can't create. You know, people always say, oh, I'm
16:10
Speaker 5: just one with my partner. I'm thinking that relationship is
16:14
Speaker 5: going to be in trouble because you can't have a
16:16
Speaker 5: relationship unless you're separate. You can't impact something unless you're separate.
16:22
Speaker 5: So your ego are all those parts of you that
16:26
Speaker 5: create and that interpret, and it's so important. Ego gets
16:31
Speaker 5: a bad ban because we think of ego as damaged.
16:35
Speaker 1: You're just as a has a negative connotation to write, Yeah, egoist, egotistical,
16:40
Speaker 1: Like there's an egoist and then there's an ego tist.
16:43
Speaker 1: I've looked up the difference between those two things a
16:45
Speaker 1: couple of times, because I think when you think about spirituality,
16:49
Speaker 1: I know in my experience, it's always connected to like
16:52
Speaker 1: the most spiritual people are supposed to be devoid of
16:57
Speaker 1: an ego. Like if you think about the Dali Lama,
17:00
Speaker 1: you think about you know, monks, like that's the idea,
17:03
Speaker 1: right is that they have no ego, they're just spiritual beings.
17:09
Speaker 5: Of course, we know from the news and I'm not
17:13
Speaker 5: talking about the donal I Lama here, who knows, But
17:15
Speaker 5: we know from the news that a lot of those
17:17
Speaker 5: pure spiritual beings are amassing wealth and doing very non
17:22
Speaker 5: spiritual things. I mean, if you think about being in
17:25
Speaker 5: a physical reality, in a physical world, spirituality should be
17:31
Speaker 5: the commercial break and interaction, creating things, being in community,
17:38
Speaker 5: dealing with your basic needs while still being a generous
17:42
Speaker 5: part of your community. So much harder. Unity is easy,
17:46
Speaker 5: you know, transcending ourselves our egos that's easy. You know.
17:53
Speaker 5: Good head injury will do that for you. Drugs will
17:56
Speaker 5: do it for you. Lots of things will do it
17:57
Speaker 5: for you. What's really hard is being true to yourself
18:01
Speaker 5: and negotiating all the time, which is what we have
18:05
Speaker 5: to do. How can I be the person I want
18:08
Speaker 5: to be and still get my needs met and still
18:11
Speaker 5: be part of this community because we are communal animals
18:14
Speaker 5: and we are interconnected. That's really the difficult part. This
18:19
Speaker 5: is my bias because I think life is really hard
18:23
Speaker 5: enough without having to breathe a certain way for half
18:27
Speaker 5: an hour, do yoga for an hour, chant for and
18:30
Speaker 5: I mean I just I would have to give up hygiene,
18:33
Speaker 5: you know. I think it's hard enough to deal with
18:35
Speaker 5: this life without thinking what did I do in a
18:37
Speaker 5: past life? And so I really deserve that? Or am
18:40
Speaker 5: I worthy of? And my bias is really if it
18:45
Speaker 5: doesn't help you create more soundly in your community, in
18:51
Speaker 5: your life, then what is it doing for you? We
18:55
Speaker 5: spend a lot of time fixing ourselves, but I think
19:01
Speaker 5: we live in a world, and my experience as a
19:04
Speaker 5: teacher is that we fix ourselves in relationship to our lives,
19:10
Speaker 5: to our world, and to one another. And that removing
19:13
Speaker 5: yourself to fix yourself idea for me doesn't it doesn't
19:19
Speaker 5: feel like it works. I mean, certainly, my husband is
19:22
Speaker 5: a long time meditator, and it's like not so secret
19:26
Speaker 5: anymore because he has a big mouth wife. But he
19:28
Speaker 5: is a expert teacher other than a screenwriter of Gojifian,
19:34
Speaker 5: this really intricate kind of meditation. And I get why
19:39
Speaker 5: he meditates because he's using his brain all the time
19:43
Speaker 5: and it's like a white out for his brain. And
19:45
Speaker 5: I get that twenty minutes. But devoting your life to
19:50
Speaker 5: not being present, I don't.
19:52
Speaker 1: Quite understand your life to not being president in order
19:56
Speaker 1: to be present.
19:57
Speaker 3: It's very compacting. It's like quantum physics.
20:00
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't get a you know, I don't
20:03
Speaker 1: mean to interrupt you, but like I was watching Place,
20:05
Speaker 1: watching the show last night at my friend's house, and
20:07
Speaker 1: we were saying, somebody have mentioned being in a simulation,
20:10
Speaker 1: right that what if we're all in a simulation?
20:13
Speaker 2: And I'm like, well, who gives a shit If we're in.
20:14
Speaker 1: A simulation, we're not going to know about it and
20:16
Speaker 1: we're in it, so let's have a good time while
20:18
Speaker 1: we're here, right, But with relations to quantum. Sorry to
20:22
Speaker 1: keep circling back on quantum physics. I know you're not
20:24
Speaker 1: a scientist or a physicist.
20:26
Speaker 5: I'm not a physicist, but I want you.
20:27
Speaker 1: To just convey your understanding to or you know, help
20:32
Speaker 1: me with your understanding of actual like when you say
20:35
Speaker 1: we're not you know, time isn't linear, Like I want
20:38
Speaker 1: my listeners to have a clear understanding of what the
20:41
Speaker 1: other possibility is.
20:43
Speaker 5: Okay, so the other possibilist. So all of you are
20:46
Speaker 5: sitting here right now, whether you're aware of it consciously
20:49
Speaker 5: or not, there's a part of you that already knows
20:54
Speaker 5: your future, and there's a part of you that actually
20:58
Speaker 5: can take other people's position in your past. There's a
21:01
Speaker 5: part of you that may even be in many different
21:06
Speaker 5: lives that you're not aware of. Because the brain really
21:09
Speaker 5: is is a limiting organ when you think about intuition,
21:13
Speaker 5: and what that means in reality is that if you're
21:18
Speaker 5: living fear based and I'm a very fear based person.
21:21
Speaker 5: You know, I was born to save a suicidal, manic
21:24
Speaker 5: depressive mother who had to be told to get dressed
21:26
Speaker 5: before walking out the door. So I mean I'm totally
21:29
Speaker 5: fear based, but I do my own work. I have goals.
21:33
Speaker 5: And so what the goals do is they notice in
21:37
Speaker 5: my future without my having to be conscious of it.
21:40
Speaker 5: They notice this future that exists already because time is
21:46
Speaker 5: a place doesn't create that goal. This future does because
21:50
Speaker 5: there are infinite futures, and it informs my present. Now,
21:54
Speaker 5: is it something that I'm always conscious of? No, I'm
21:57
Speaker 5: the kind of person who can walk into a wall.
21:59
Speaker 5: Someone will told me that you can stab me in
22:01
Speaker 5: the back. I'm furious. I want to get back at you.
22:05
Speaker 5: Then a moment later, I forget it. I sharpen the blade,
22:08
Speaker 5: I look for who belongs to I give it back
22:10
Speaker 5: to them, and then I get stabbed in the back again.
22:12
Speaker 5: But but I've somewhat grown out of that. But it's
22:17
Speaker 5: you pick. You know, we don't pick our futures, even
22:21
Speaker 5: though we have an infinite amount, because our future is
22:23
Speaker 5: often based on what we've been patterned to see an experience.
22:28
Speaker 5: But what intuition shows us, and I've been a practicing
22:32
Speaker 5: into it for really almost fifty years now, is that
22:36
Speaker 5: there are so many futures. And the fact is that
22:39
Speaker 5: the reason what I do works that I can predict
22:42
Speaker 5: accurately is I'm predicting a future that one person can't change.
22:48
Speaker 5: So when you're predicting a large market, one person can't
22:52
Speaker 5: change that. You as an individual can change your future
22:57
Speaker 5: because you have infinite futures, but you are you're aware
23:01
Speaker 5: of them, but your brain limits that. The other thing
23:04
Speaker 5: is what I call mediumship, which is different than the
23:07
Speaker 5: traditional explanation, which is you know all of you if
23:12
Speaker 5: you just notice for a minute, one moment you're suddenly anxious,
23:17
Speaker 5: and then you think of your friend, and a moment later,
23:20
Speaker 5: your friend calls you out of the blue and says,
23:22
Speaker 5: I've just had a car accident. So we're so porous.
23:27
Speaker 5: So what we think of as our experience, our thoughts,
23:31
Speaker 5: our bodies are actually not often totally our own. And again,
23:37
Speaker 5: learning how to train that, learning how to have a
23:40
Speaker 5: stronger filter in your prism allows you to choose where
23:45
Speaker 5: in reality your attention is and where it should be
23:47
Speaker 5: is in you in this point in space time. So basically,
23:52
Speaker 5: what intuition is is all five of your senses. It's
23:55
Speaker 5: not a sixth sense, no such thing. But they move
23:58
Speaker 5: around you much more mobile than you think.
24:02
Speaker 3: You are, and you can improve upon it.
24:05
Speaker 1: You know, with first of all with this book the
24:08
Speaker 1: Prism and which are the seven steps to heal your
24:09
Speaker 1: pass and transform your future.
24:11
Speaker 3: So I get an understanding.
24:13
Speaker 1: I'm getting a better understanding of like your explanation of it,
24:15
Speaker 1: which which you describing the book, but you know throughout
24:18
Speaker 1: the course of the book. But I also think one
24:21
Speaker 1: of the points that you're making is that you and
24:23
Speaker 1: I believe this, that you can improve upon your intuition
24:26
Speaker 1: by being more aware of it, right and your porousness.
24:29
Speaker 3: Like it is. It's just like anything in life.
24:31
Speaker 1: If you go and play tennis every day for six years,
24:34
Speaker 1: you're going to get better at tennis, just like you're
24:36
Speaker 1: going to get better at intuition and intuitiveness if you
24:38
Speaker 1: are actually paying attention to it.
24:41
Speaker 2: But and also there are two things.
24:43
Speaker 5: One, if you never saw a door before, you wouldn't
24:47
Speaker 5: know how to open it. And that's what intuition is.
24:50
Speaker 5: We don't have receptors for certain things, like people give
24:54
Speaker 5: me so much help and so much love, But when
24:56
Speaker 5: I was little, I had no receptors for the generosity
25:00
Speaker 5: of others. I was the oldest of four children, born
25:02
Speaker 5: in four and a half years in a traumatized home.
25:06
Speaker 5: Now I feel like I have way too much almost
25:10
Speaker 5: goodwill and gifts because I grew receptors for that. So
25:16
Speaker 5: one of the things that doing something different does for
25:20
Speaker 5: you that doesn't resonate with you because that's an old you,
25:25
Speaker 5: is it allows something to bump into you and open
25:28
Speaker 5: that receptor for what you thought wasn't there. It was
25:31
Speaker 5: like when I was single at fifty and someone said, oh,
25:33
Speaker 5: there are no men out there. It's like, thank God,
25:36
Speaker 5: I'm so out of touch with common reality because that
25:39
Speaker 5: was not my experience. And you know, I was going
25:42
Speaker 5: through so much that was online at the time that
25:44
Speaker 5: if you searched me, you certainly wouldn't date. Man. I'm psychic,
25:47
Speaker 5: for God's sake, you know. So it was you know,
25:51
Speaker 5: we do create our reality, and that is such a
25:55
Speaker 5: very important and it's not easy.
25:58
Speaker 6: You know.
25:58
Speaker 5: Of course we have those old triggers, but you can
26:02
Speaker 5: change it. The other thing is I do something every
26:05
Speaker 5: morning and whenever I'm feeling off, which is I say,
26:08
Speaker 5: who's inside of me? Because we are porous, So who
26:11
Speaker 5: does this feel like? Is this my anxiety? Because anxiety
26:15
Speaker 5: is supposed to show you the danger and have you
26:18
Speaker 5: do something about it, you know, So anxiety shouldn't be
26:22
Speaker 5: a constant state, which for me it often.
26:24
Speaker 1: Is, and sometimes it's caused by other people's anxiety.
26:28
Speaker 5: That's what I'm saying. So I say, who's inside of me?
26:31
Speaker 5: And then I notice who am I arguing with? Who
26:33
Speaker 5: am I having a negative discussion with negative being? They're
26:37
Speaker 5: saying something about me? You know what's running through my head?
26:40
Speaker 5: And is it helpful? Because if not, let me redirect
26:43
Speaker 5: it to a helpful discussion.
26:45
Speaker 2: Where am I?
26:46
Speaker 5: Because if I'm not in this room speaking to you,
26:49
Speaker 5: if I'm astral projection or remote viewing, if I'm somewhere else,
26:53
Speaker 5: then my power is not in creating my life. So
26:56
Speaker 5: where am I? And practicing mindfulness, which is not meditation
27:01
Speaker 5: and it's not just awareness. Act of mindfulness is being
27:05
Speaker 5: in yourself and then shifting your position if you notice
27:08
Speaker 5: mindfully that your back hurts, or taking a breath, if
27:11
Speaker 5: you notice that you're stressed, really making the moment powerfully
27:16
Speaker 5: work for you. And then also what time zone am
27:20
Speaker 5: I in? Because the only time zone you can make
27:22
Speaker 5: a difference is in the present. Past is easy, you
27:25
Speaker 5: don't have to do anything. Future is easy, you don't
27:27
Speaker 5: have to do anything, And on some level, Being in
27:30
Speaker 5: someone else's life is easy because you don't have to
27:33
Speaker 5: do anything. It's all kind of toxic unless you're directing
27:36
Speaker 5: it towards your goals. But it's easy. But being present
27:40
Speaker 5: is hard because you've got to do something about it.
27:42
Speaker 5: But when you do, and when you document it other
27:45
Speaker 5: important point. Memory is so misleading. You know, document when
27:52
Speaker 5: you have a goal, document the things that come from
27:55
Speaker 5: left field. Notice and document and document those kind of
27:59
Speaker 5: out of the blue set of what may happen, and
28:01
Speaker 5: allow yourself to place them in time. You know, people
28:04
Speaker 5: confuse intuition with vagueness, and I always get all my
28:08
Speaker 5: students about this. You know, they give readings like I
28:11
Speaker 5: see love, I see you need to drink more water.
28:15
Speaker 5: No intuition is there's a deal you're trying to make.
28:19
Speaker 5: It's going to happen mid September. You're getting paranoid about
28:23
Speaker 5: the delay, but the delay is really fine. I get
28:26
Speaker 5: a Jay involved in it. Like it's really just all
28:30
Speaker 5: of these little data points that you spit out, But
28:33
Speaker 5: when you're doing it for yourself, you need to write
28:35
Speaker 5: them down and what you find, Like I review my
28:38
Speaker 5: data points when I'm neurotic every day, when I'm less
28:43
Speaker 5: neurotic every week, and I notice, oh I hit here,
28:47
Speaker 5: I hit here, I hit here. This is precognitive in
28:52
Speaker 5: a way I can trust it or WHOA, I was
28:55
Speaker 5: way off here. That lets me know that there's a
28:58
Speaker 5: part of my prism that's not clear, that's not working
29:03
Speaker 5: where I am. You know, we repress what is painful
29:06
Speaker 5: to see, which is legit, you.
29:09
Speaker 1: Know, right, Okay, on that, and we're going to take
29:11
Speaker 1: a break, and we'll be right back with Laura Day.
29:17
Speaker 3: And we're back with Laura Day.
29:19
Speaker 2: She's written several books.
29:20
Speaker 1: The most recent book is called The Prism Seven Steps
29:23
Speaker 1: to Heal your Past and Transform your Future. Are we
29:26
Speaker 1: gonna do callers? Okay, great collar, are you ready?
29:29
Speaker 3: We're gonna have some callers call in to get your
29:30
Speaker 3: sagacious advice.
29:32
Speaker 4: So our first caller is Katie. She says, Dear Chelsea,
29:36
Speaker 4: I always think it's funny how many people ask Chelsea
29:39
Speaker 4: advice on having kids, parenting, et cetera, when she's so
29:42
Speaker 4: clearly not about that life. And here I am asking
29:44
Speaker 4: for myself. Here's my issue. I've been with my partner
29:48
Speaker 4: for almost six years. We have a really beautiful, healthy
29:50
Speaker 4: relationship and I'm so grateful for everything we've shared. We've
29:54
Speaker 4: always talked about wanting to have kids, and he used
29:56
Speaker 4: to say eventually. When I was in my twenties, I
29:58
Speaker 4: didn't feel any rush. Now I'm thirty two, turning thirty
30:02
Speaker 4: three this year, and I feel ready to start a family.
30:04
Speaker 3: Although our finances.
30:05
Speaker 4: Aren't exactly where i'd like to have them be, I
30:08
Speaker 4: trust we'll have what we'll need. The problem is he
30:10
Speaker 4: says he doesn't feel ready and probably won't be ready
30:13
Speaker 4: for at least two more years. I don't want to
30:15
Speaker 4: wait until I'm thirty four or thirty five, when getting
30:17
Speaker 4: pregnant could be a lot harder, especially because I want
30:20
Speaker 4: to have two or three kids. Based on my tests.
30:23
Speaker 4: The fertility doctor we met with recommends trying to get
30:25
Speaker 4: pregnant now or freezing my eggs or embryos if we
30:28
Speaker 4: want to wait, but we both have agreed we don't
30:30
Speaker 4: want to do IVF. I'm feeling powerless and feelings of
30:33
Speaker 4: resentment are creeping in, as it feels like he could
30:35
Speaker 4: be taking away the possibility of us having kids naturally,
30:38
Speaker 4: even though I know he can't help not feeling ready.
30:41
Speaker 4: I saw the quote being ready isn't a feeling, it's
30:43
Speaker 4: a choice. And since we agree we want to have
30:45
Speaker 4: kids and are up against a biological clock, it just
30:48
Speaker 4: seems time to make the choice. What if we can't
30:50
Speaker 4: get pregnant naturally, if we wait one or two years,
30:53
Speaker 4: how can we preserve our relationship despite the same idea?
30:56
Speaker 5: Okay, so perfect, So Katie, this really isn't an intuitive issue.
31:03
Speaker 5: Using the prism, you'd go to the second ego center,
31:06
Speaker 5: And the second ego center is really how am I
31:09
Speaker 5: being nourished? And what are my boundaries? And I think
31:14
Speaker 5: that really just from all of those words, what's really
31:20
Speaker 5: clear is you do have a biological clock. There are
31:25
Speaker 5: realities either you guys freeze eggs and zygotes or this
31:32
Speaker 5: is a bigger relationship issue which clearly has to be
31:35
Speaker 5: dealt with with now. And I think my gut is
31:40
Speaker 5: that you're in a kind of anxious avoidant balance in general,
31:44
Speaker 5: you anxious, your partner avoidant, and that's a very hard
31:49
Speaker 5: balance to get out of. So I would do the
31:54
Speaker 5: second ego center and start with what are creative solutions?
31:59
Speaker 5: But also so what are my boundaries? What am I
32:02
Speaker 5: able to do on my own? Because you've given your
32:04
Speaker 5: power away. Here, my partner, this, my partner that, And
32:08
Speaker 5: again this is just one person listening, because this isn't
32:11
Speaker 5: an intuitive issue. You know, there are too many facts. Yes,
32:16
Speaker 5: miracles happen, but there is a biological clock. So what
32:21
Speaker 5: I would do is do the second eco center, which
32:23
Speaker 5: is how am I being nourished in my life entirely?
32:25
Speaker 5: Let me deal with that issue, let me deal with boundaries.
32:28
Speaker 5: And it sounds to me like your boundary is I
32:31
Speaker 5: want a family, and so I'm going to have to
32:34
Speaker 5: make some difficult choices. We make contracts in relationships. But
32:39
Speaker 5: I think this is a you issue, not a couple's issue.
32:43
Speaker 5: You know, you need to decide for yourself that having
32:47
Speaker 5: the kind of life you want, because having a child
32:49
Speaker 5: is a life choice, and what you want is more
32:55
Speaker 5: important because the reality is what you're being told doesn't
32:58
Speaker 5: make sense. There's biological clock.
33:01
Speaker 1: I would add to that, Katie. First of all, I mean,
33:03
Speaker 1: I don't think it's just a you issue. I think
33:05
Speaker 1: this is actually something that you should bring to a
33:07
Speaker 1: couple's therapists with your husband, because he doesn't get to
33:11
Speaker 1: make that decision for you. You're in a marriage, you're in
33:13
Speaker 1: a union, you've made an agreement to have a life
33:15
Speaker 1: together and with the understanding that you were going to
33:18
Speaker 1: build a family, and putting your life and like and
33:21
Speaker 1: your fertility kind of postponing that when you're kind of
33:25
Speaker 1: in your prime and kind of leaving your prime soon.
33:28
Speaker 1: That's not to say you can't have a baby when
33:29
Speaker 1: you're thirty eight or thirty nine. Who knows, maybe you can.
33:32
Speaker 1: Maybe you're one of those women that will be easily able.
33:34
Speaker 2: To get pregnant.
33:35
Speaker 1: But like, it's not fair that he gets to make
33:37
Speaker 1: that call when you're the one carrying the baby, when
33:39
Speaker 1: you're the one who's ready. No one's fucking ready to
33:42
Speaker 1: have a baby, no matter how long you prepare.
33:44
Speaker 3: Nine months is not.
33:45
Speaker 1: Enough time to have a baby walk in the house
33:48
Speaker 1: and they're not walking, I know, but they may as
33:49
Speaker 1: well be.
33:50
Speaker 3: At that point, because that's what an impediment it becomes.
33:52
Speaker 5: Yeah, what I mean by you, as she was, don't
33:54
Speaker 5: give that power away to him, Yes, yeah, yeah, you know,
33:57
Speaker 5: this is about This is about you and a partner.
34:01
Speaker 5: A partner needs to respond to that. It's fine to say,
34:05
Speaker 5: well one day, but one day, that's not That doesn't
34:08
Speaker 5: respond to the you you are that's some mythical creature.
34:12
Speaker 1: Yes, And you've also been together for six years, so
34:15
Speaker 1: it's like it's not like you're in this marriage and
34:17
Speaker 1: you're like, all right, you're not rushing and you're not
34:19
Speaker 1: changing the game plan. This has been the game plan,
34:22
Speaker 1: and you're trying to stick to the game plan even
34:24
Speaker 1: though you're not financially ready. I loved what you said
34:26
Speaker 1: about I trust that we will be fine and that
34:29
Speaker 1: everything that we need will be provided for us. I
34:32
Speaker 1: think that's such a great attitude to have about everything.
34:35
Speaker 1: And I really do think that you when Laura speaks
34:37
Speaker 1: about boundaries, absolutely like this is a boundary.
34:40
Speaker 2: You're ready and you.
34:42
Speaker 1: Want to start trying, and that doesn't mean you're going
34:44
Speaker 1: to have a baby by the end.
34:45
Speaker 5: Of the year or And one of the things that
34:48
Speaker 5: I the prison life asks you to do is look
34:52
Speaker 5: at what they can do is check your insurance right now.
34:55
Speaker 5: It maybe in vitros, you know, maybe the harvesting is covered.
34:59
Speaker 5: Look look at those things right now when perhaps you're
35:03
Speaker 5: in a position where you have the right insurance. Like,
35:06
Speaker 5: really deal again with the U issue, which is I
35:09
Speaker 5: want to make sure I'm I retain this ability to
35:13
Speaker 5: have something I want in my life. Because we mystify things,
35:16
Speaker 5: we magicalize them, and we emotionalize them, and then we
35:20
Speaker 5: it distracts us from just doing the bare bones things
35:23
Speaker 5: that really can safeguard us in our daily life.
35:27
Speaker 4: And Katie, I also want to say, last weekend I
35:30
Speaker 4: was at a baby shower. There were ten women there,
35:32
Speaker 4: three of whom are pregnant, all three in their thirties,
35:35
Speaker 4: all three pregnant through IVF. You know, I know you
35:37
Speaker 4: say you don't want to have to do that, but
35:39
Speaker 4: like IVF is not somebody something people want to do,
35:41
Speaker 4: It's something people have to do when they really want
35:43
Speaker 4: to create a family. You know, everyone would opt for
35:46
Speaker 4: the free baby instead of one hundred thousand dollars baby.
35:48
Speaker 4: But I would really really encourage you to go freeze
35:52
Speaker 4: your eggs and maybe not even embryos at this point.
35:54
Speaker 4: And if money is an issue, there are some places
35:58
Speaker 4: that do what they call a split program where you
36:01
Speaker 4: go and donate your eggs and like half of your
36:02
Speaker 4: eggs get donated to someone who needs a donor egg
36:04
Speaker 4: and then you know, you keep half of them. And
36:07
Speaker 4: it's I think low cost or free to be able
36:09
Speaker 4: to freeze your eggs. So I would very like intensely
36:13
Speaker 4: encourage you because when you freeze your eggs, you're freezing
36:16
Speaker 4: them at the age you are now, and so when
36:18
Speaker 4: you go to use them later on, you have these
36:20
Speaker 4: sort of quote unquote younger eggs.
36:22
Speaker 5: So Katie, also, I don't think this is a one
36:24
Speaker 5: off issue. I think this is about you know. I
36:28
Speaker 5: think this has happened in so many different things in
36:30
Speaker 5: your relationship, and dealing with that issue is super important.
36:35
Speaker 5: Oh okay, are you already in couples therapy?
36:39
Speaker 4: No, I'm in my own personal therapy, but we haven't
36:42
Speaker 4: done couples therapy yet.
36:43
Speaker 7: But he's open to it.
36:44
Speaker 2: Good.
36:45
Speaker 5: But also there's a time element that I think you
36:47
Speaker 5: should address right away, Like, that's not you know, because
36:51
Speaker 5: you don't want things to delay. This is about This
36:54
Speaker 5: is about you, and I think we're often not taught,
36:56
Speaker 5: especially as women, to make things about us. This is
36:59
Speaker 5: a This is about you preserving your choices and not
37:04
Speaker 5: having things withheld from you.
37:07
Speaker 4: You know, we don't wait around for any man, even
37:09
Speaker 4: when we're married to the go.
37:11
Speaker 2: I like that motto.
37:13
Speaker 3: Thanks Katie for calling in, Thank you so much.
37:16
Speaker 5: Can I give a suggestion if we do it? Shorter,
37:19
Speaker 5: because really intuition works in the absence of information, so
37:23
Speaker 5: does the prism. It's what's the issue and you go
37:25
Speaker 5: to that target.
37:26
Speaker 2: Okay.
37:26
Speaker 4: What I can do too is I'll kind of give
37:28
Speaker 4: you like the bullet points of the email. Is that
37:30
Speaker 4: does that feel a little bit perfect?
37:32
Speaker 2: That'd be great?
37:32
Speaker 5: Okay.
37:33
Speaker 4: So our next caller is Erica with a K. She's
37:36
Speaker 4: at a crossroads in her marriage. Feels that they are
37:39
Speaker 4: sort of best friends and roommates, and she feels like
37:41
Speaker 4: that's a great thing, but her husband feels like maybe
37:44
Speaker 4: that's a reason they should split up. They're sort of
37:46
Speaker 4: waffling between separation and divorce, but are kind of trying
37:50
Speaker 4: to give it another try. Yeah, I think that that
37:52
Speaker 4: kind of sums it up.
37:53
Speaker 3: Hi, Erica. We have Laura Day our special guest today.
37:57
Speaker 5: She's an intuitive My intuitive got is that there's really
38:03
Speaker 5: deep love and attachment between the two of you, but
38:07
Speaker 5: also a lot of disappointment on both of your parts,
38:11
Speaker 5: and that that's that's a very difficult thing to work
38:17
Speaker 5: with because I think I think that neither of you
38:20
Speaker 5: are really working to be together. You're both in your
38:23
Speaker 5: own disappointments and and really focusing I think more. I
38:29
Speaker 5: think the trip may may put a lot of pressure
38:32
Speaker 5: on you, whereas focusing in therapy on doing things that
38:38
Speaker 5: build common values. I think both of you had so
38:41
Speaker 5: many plans of what you were going to build, and
38:43
Speaker 5: to some degree, a lot of that didn't work out.
38:46
Speaker 5: It wasn't what didn't wasn't in sync. So I would
38:50
Speaker 5: work on the fourth ego center, which is really about
38:53
Speaker 5: about worth and value, each of you working on your
38:57
Speaker 5: own worth in the world and bringing it back to
39:00
Speaker 5: each other, because I think that that will, in a
39:04
Speaker 5: strange way, the marriage is the elephant in the room.
39:09
Speaker 5: It's really about each of you being a little bit
39:11
Speaker 5: disappointed about your own lives. And I think if you
39:16
Speaker 5: work on your life and your partner works on their life,
39:20
Speaker 5: that that's going to be much more helpful to each
39:24
Speaker 5: of you and to the relationship. And I would do
39:26
Speaker 5: the fourth ego center in the prism, which is about
39:29
Speaker 5: you know, what.
39:30
Speaker 2: Do I value?
39:31
Speaker 5: How am I valued? And how do I create that
39:35
Speaker 5: sense of value in the world.
39:38
Speaker 2: Does that make sense to you?
39:39
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, I agree that we probably are putting
39:44
Speaker 7: pressure on this trip for something to come up of
39:48
Speaker 7: it and to maybe save us, and that we have
39:51
Speaker 7: maybe not independently grown as two individual adults and have
39:55
Speaker 7: been a little dependent on each other as we've grown up.
39:59
Speaker 7: And it's only been us where childless family is an
40:04
Speaker 7: hour away, so we've been very dependent on each other.
40:09
Speaker 5: That's not a bad thing. I think more than anything,
40:12
Speaker 5: it's that you've been dependent on each other. But you're
40:15
Speaker 5: both a little disappointed in your lives. It's not even
40:19
Speaker 5: just your marriage, it's your lives. And I think that
40:22
Speaker 5: if you helped each other work on your lives, that's
40:25
Speaker 5: really going to be the key to the excitement coming up.
40:28
Speaker 5: You know, you're getting some help to do the things
40:30
Speaker 5: you want in your life, and your partner getting some
40:32
Speaker 5: help also. You know that was actually initially the spark
40:37
Speaker 5: in the relationship, is that you're both such rich people,
40:41
Speaker 5: and that I think would be So if you've planned
40:46
Speaker 5: this trip and you're going on this trip, what are
40:49
Speaker 5: your goals right now, what are your partner's goals right now?
40:53
Speaker 5: How do you make this trip about not about the marriage,
40:56
Speaker 5: but about helping each other find what you need in
40:59
Speaker 5: the world. I really think that's going to be more bonding.
41:02
Speaker 5: And again that's one intuitive's sense of things. You know,
41:07
Speaker 5: because this isn't you know, there's a lot of love.
41:10
Speaker 5: I go into a lot of relationships and it surprises
41:14
Speaker 5: me how little kind of respect and love there is,
41:17
Speaker 5: and a lot of relationships. There's a lot of respect
41:20
Speaker 5: and love in your relationship. It's that there's a lot
41:24
Speaker 5: of disappointment that doesn't have to do with one another.
41:27
Speaker 5: It's just because you're a pair, it gets projected on
41:30
Speaker 5: one another. You know, it's really about your lives and
41:34
Speaker 5: the wonderful people you are and how you haven't been
41:36
Speaker 5: able to express that and be valued for that in
41:39
Speaker 5: the world. So make that trip, this trip about doing that,
41:43
Speaker 5: not about your marriage. Don't worry about your marriage for
41:45
Speaker 5: right now. Make it about Wow, how do we spread
41:48
Speaker 5: what it is we want to do as individuals in
41:51
Speaker 5: the world together and how do we support each other.
41:53
Speaker 2: I really think that.
41:54
Speaker 5: That and either way things work out, that's going to
41:57
Speaker 5: be a better foundation for it.
42:00
Speaker 2: Great.
42:00
Speaker 7: I think so too.
42:01
Speaker 5: Thank you, Thank you for sharing. That's a big deal
42:04
Speaker 5: to share that kind of vulnerability.
42:06
Speaker 1: I think also, like a fun exercise for you guys
42:08
Speaker 1: to do together that is a separate activity, but you'll
42:12
Speaker 1: both do it.
42:13
Speaker 3: Is like while you're on this vacation.
42:15
Speaker 1: Every morning, do like a gratitude journal, like what do
42:18
Speaker 1: you want to happen today? What would make today great?
42:21
Speaker 1: What are you focused on today? Like what are your
42:23
Speaker 1: intentions for the day. You guys do these separately, but
42:25
Speaker 1: you have your each have your own journal, and then
42:27
Speaker 1: again at night like what made today special? What was
42:30
Speaker 1: your highlight of the day? What are you grateful for today?
42:33
Speaker 1: Like I feel like that those kinds of things that
42:36
Speaker 1: are unifying when done separately, as like a couple or
42:40
Speaker 1: even with the friendships, like do something that takes you
42:43
Speaker 1: out of your comfort zone while you're on this trip,
42:45
Speaker 1: so that you can also focus on other things rather
42:47
Speaker 1: than focusing just on your relationship.
42:51
Speaker 7: Okay, thank you. I like that we can give.
42:54
Speaker 1: That, you know, and then you could compare notes and
42:56
Speaker 1: stuff and talk about it and like that's another way
42:58
Speaker 1: to connect that you probably have tried yet, and it's
43:01
Speaker 1: make and it's reminds you of like all that you
43:04
Speaker 1: have to be grateful for and all the like rich experiences.
43:07
Speaker 2: It could be the.
43:07
Speaker 1: Beach that you go to one day, or it could
43:09
Speaker 1: be a restaurant that you go to, and that's fine too,
43:11
Speaker 1: but like expressing.
43:13
Speaker 3: That is a nice exercise.
43:15
Speaker 7: Yeah, we'll do that.
43:17
Speaker 3: And I hope you have a great vacation. I think
43:20
Speaker 3: we will.
43:20
Speaker 7: We're really looking forward to it, all.
43:23
Speaker 4: Right, thank you, Erica.
43:24
Speaker 3: I's Erica.
43:25
Speaker 2: Ye.
43:25
Speaker 4: Well, our last color today is Cindy, and Cindy is
43:29
Speaker 4: forty eight. I'll give you the broad strokes. So she
43:33
Speaker 4: is in a really big life situation. So she recently
43:36
Speaker 4: ended a relationship of six years after family tragedy. Her
43:41
Speaker 4: partner lost both her son and daughter in like motorbike
43:45
Speaker 4: accidents about four months apart, and they found themselves caring
43:48
Speaker 4: for two young children. Cindy never really wanted to raise kids,
43:53
Speaker 4: and so that was part of her deciding to leave
43:56
Speaker 4: the relationship, but also because it just didn't feel like
43:59
Speaker 4: the right relationship anymore. So she's struggling with two things,
44:03
Speaker 4: how to sort of still be a part of these kids'
44:06
Speaker 4: lives because she does love them, but also maintaining her
44:09
Speaker 4: friendship with her ex and being there to be emotionally.
44:12
Speaker 2: Supportive to her.
44:13
Speaker 4: So, Hi, Cindy, We've got Laura Day here. She's an
44:17
Speaker 4: intuitive Oh Hi, hello everybody.
44:20
Speaker 2: Hi.
44:21
Speaker 5: I think that what you're really talking about is wanting
44:25
Speaker 5: to be part of a foundation but having for the
44:28
Speaker 5: children for your ex and having them be a part
44:31
Speaker 5: of a foundation for you, but in a way that's
44:33
Speaker 5: doable for you. But my sense is that getting into
44:39
Speaker 5: the emotions of it is not helpful right now. But
44:45
Speaker 5: what your ex could really use help with and maybe
44:50
Speaker 5: can't admit this too much, is organization. And if you
44:57
Speaker 5: could just like God is sometimes the most wonderful gift
45:03
Speaker 5: is without processing, because I think there's a lot of tangles,
45:07
Speaker 5: there's a lot of brambles you can get into here.
45:11
Speaker 5: But if you just offer to do things that are
45:15
Speaker 5: things you want to do so they're foundational for you too,
45:18
Speaker 5: because I think that you're as you stated, your resentment
45:22
Speaker 5: gets in the way. But I do think that you
45:26
Speaker 5: don't want that this is family for you and that
45:29
Speaker 5: that's important to you and that it's part of your
45:33
Speaker 5: foundation and part of your identity. So if you like
45:37
Speaker 5: honestly say what are the ways that I can give
45:39
Speaker 5: what's needed, which is kind of organizational support, set the
45:44
Speaker 5: boundary of you know, I'm only going to do what's
45:47
Speaker 5: really life sustaining for me and because otherwise I'm going
45:51
Speaker 5: to resent it, I think you'll find that there's a
45:54
Speaker 5: lot of crossover in what you want to do and
45:57
Speaker 5: what these children and your former partner need. Yeah, that
46:00
Speaker 5: makes sense.
46:01
Speaker 2: That makes a lot of sense.
46:03
Speaker 1: Are you dealing with any anger from your former partner
46:05
Speaker 1: about leaving the relationship.
46:09
Speaker 2: Her anger towards me?
46:10
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, I am. She you know, she
46:14
Speaker 6: reminds me a lot of times like, oh, yeah, well
46:17
Speaker 6: you don't want to Before I left, there was like
46:19
Speaker 6: about eight months where I was trying to separate and
46:22
Speaker 6: she's like, oh, yeah, I forgot you don't want to
46:24
Speaker 6: be here anymore.
46:24
Speaker 5: So that kind of, you know, that type of stuff
46:27
Speaker 5: going on.
46:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a really hard decision to make, and I mean,
46:31
Speaker 1: I'm happy for you that you were able to make
46:33
Speaker 1: that decision in your best interest, because it can it
46:37
Speaker 1: can be a complicated decision to make and a lot
46:40
Speaker 1: of hurt feelings left behind.
46:42
Speaker 6: So thank you.
46:43
Speaker 1: It's good that you took the steps to take care
46:45
Speaker 1: of yourself in the first place, and then are trying
46:47
Speaker 1: to show up in the ways that you can now. Okay, Well,
46:52
Speaker 1: I mean I wish you well and I hope that
46:55
Speaker 1: I hope that you just you know, moving.
46:57
Speaker 3: Forward, you really just take it with you to move
47:00
Speaker 3: with love.
47:01
Speaker 1: You know, to move with love towards them, because her
47:03
Speaker 1: feelings are going to be of abandonment, right and she's
47:05
Speaker 1: gonna and the kids and all of that, but to
47:09
Speaker 1: move forward in a really loving way. And if at
47:11
Speaker 1: any time she asks you for the space and to
47:14
Speaker 1: not be involved, or if there's somebody else in the picture,
47:17
Speaker 1: like to always remember to be respectful of that as well,
47:20
Speaker 1: because that's her, she's in this and she doesn't really
47:23
Speaker 1: have a choice in the matter. So you can try
47:25
Speaker 1: to be as supportive as possible, but if she doesn't
47:28
Speaker 1: want that, you know, support from you, then you also
47:30
Speaker 1: have to accept.
47:31
Speaker 5: That, right absolutely, absolutely.
47:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay, Well, thank you for calling in, and
47:37
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry about all of those things that have happened.
47:39
Speaker 2: Wow that's a lot to handle.
47:41
Speaker 5: A lot, yes, yeah, a lot, but thank you.
47:44
Speaker 3: Okay, thanks Indy.
47:46
Speaker 1: All right, okay, thanks, We're going to take a break
47:49
Speaker 1: and we'll be right back to wrap up with Laura Day.
47:55
Speaker 3: Okay, and we're back, So Laura Day.
47:57
Speaker 1: The book is called The Prism seven Step to Heal
48:00
Speaker 1: your Past and Transform Your Future, and it's a guide,
48:03
Speaker 1: it's self help. It's how to how to just kind
48:06
Speaker 1: of really focus on what you want out of life
48:08
Speaker 1: and how you're going to get it, you know, And
48:11
Speaker 1: I think that that helps really.
48:12
Speaker 3: Change your frequency when you have an idea.
48:15
Speaker 1: You know, I've never been somebody who makes like a
48:17
Speaker 1: list of goals or I'm kind of like fly by
48:20
Speaker 1: the seat of my pants, but that seems to have
48:22
Speaker 1: worked out for me more often than it hasn't. I mean,
48:25
Speaker 1: of course there's been you know, ups and downs with everything,
48:28
Speaker 1: but the idea of actually, really, you know, I wish
48:31
Speaker 1: when I was younger I had all of this information
48:33
Speaker 1: that's in this book, and that and the knowledge to
48:36
Speaker 1: know that, like when you are patient with yourself and
48:39
Speaker 1: you are very aware of what you want out of
48:42
Speaker 1: life and what your intentions are, that has a grand
48:45
Speaker 1: impact on the outcome of them.
48:47
Speaker 5: So what's really important to realize is a miracle does
48:50
Speaker 5: take a moment. Bumping into your love, sitting next to
48:53
Speaker 5: someone who has the job offer on the train, you know,
48:56
Speaker 5: sitting bumping into a social worker at a cafe who
48:59
Speaker 5: can your mortgage pa. I mean, a miracle really takes
49:03
Speaker 5: a moment. We tend to get stuck in this idea
49:07
Speaker 5: that now is forever, for better or for worse. Now
49:11
Speaker 5: is not forever and your next move dictates your future.
49:15
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, well, thank you so much, Laura Day, thanks
49:18
Speaker 1: for being here today.
49:19
Speaker 5: Thank you for having me.
49:20
Speaker 2: Take care.
49:22
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, I am officially on my high and Mighty tour.
49:25
Speaker 1: March thirteenth, Cleveland, Ohio. March fourteenth, Columbus, Ohio. March fifteenth, Cincinnati, Ohio.
49:32
Speaker 1: And then March twentieth is Denver, Colorado. March twenty seventh, Portland, Maine.
49:37
Speaker 1: March twenty eighth, Providence, Rhode Island. March twenty ninth, Springfield, Massachusetts.
49:43
Speaker 1: April tenth is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater
49:46
Speaker 1: in April eleventh. Indianapolis, Indiana. April twelfth Louisville, Kentucky. April
49:53
Speaker 1: sixteenth is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April seventeenth is Mesa, Arizona.
49:57
Speaker 1: April twenty third is Kansas City, Missouri. April twenty fourth
50:01
Speaker 1: is Saint Louis, Missouri. April twenty fifth is Minneapolis, Minnesota.
50:06
Speaker 1: April thirtieth Nashville, Tennessee. May first is Charlotte, North Carolina.
50:10
Speaker 1: May second is Durham, North Carolina. May sixth I'm doing
50:14
Speaker 1: Netflix as a joke.
50:15
Speaker 2: Festival.
50:15
Speaker 3: I will be in Los Angeles.
50:17
Speaker 1: That is a new announcement, along with Atlantic City May fifteenth, Saratoga, California,
50:23
Speaker 1: May sixteenth, Monterey, California, May seventeenth, Modesto, California, and then June.
50:28
Speaker 3: Fourth Portchester, New York.
50:30
Speaker 1: June fifth is Boston, mass and June twelfth is Portland, Oregon.
50:35
Speaker 1: And then Seattle is June thirteenth, So suck on that, everybody.
50:40
Speaker 2: Go to Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.
50:42
Speaker 4: If you want advice from Chelsea, right into Dear Chelsea
50:45
Speaker 4: podcast at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a production
50:49
Speaker 4: of iHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler
50:53
Speaker 4: and find Catherine on TikTok at flash Cadabra. Dear Chelsea
50:56
Speaker 4: is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert executive producer Katherine Law.
51:01
Speaker 4: Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix, and
51:04
Speaker 4: get tickets to see Chelsea live at Chelseahanler dot com