Latest / Soul Salon with Ayandastood / 40: the fear of success

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40: the fear of success · Soul Salon with Ayandastood

0:00
Hello divine and magical being welcome. Welcome back. I saw this incredible infographic that shows us that there are about 5,000 people if we look at our ancestors our parents our grandparents their parents their parents and the history of humankind.
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There's approximately 5,000 people that had to exist on this earth in your lineage in order for you to be here today.
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So that is so magnificent if we really allow ourselves to think about how absurd, how magical, how bizarre this human experience is.
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And I really want to dive deep into this fear that I notice in myself so deeply and in so many people that I speak to and work with and it is the fear of your own success.
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And I want to give a spiritual perspective on why we have this fear from my point of view this is my truth this is what I'm channeling.
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And I hope that it is of service to your consciousness today I really believe my purpose or part of my Dharma my soul's purpose on this earth is to serve our deepest consciousness and that includes my own.
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And part of that path is trusting and surrendering to what comes through. And so this is my offering today I always say that our creativity is like coming to the flea market of life and saying you know what this is what I have to offer.
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And all the colors and textures and flavors and spices are that much more divine because we bring so many to the table it's not about judgment it's not about perfectionism it's about an offering.
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And this is what I have to offer your consciousness today I hope it serves you I hope it you know deepens or elevates whatever your preferred metaphor is I hope it's just something that is nourishing to you and to your soul's journey today.
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So when we think about the sphere of success how does it manifest and let me talk about it from my own perspective and then go into the spiritual realm okay well the spiritual transcends all but basically for me I have this dual feeling on the one hand I deeply crave doing something big I've always been a dreamer I've always been audacious I've always wanted to really make sure that I'm on earth and living the wildest story that I can live.
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And I don't want to glorify ambition I think our ambition is very much manipulated by the culture and systems that we live in it's seen as a higher form of being to be ambitious only of certain kind of ambition is really validated where you are kind of ascending in this capitalist ladder and consumerist ladder.
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And elitist ladder so I obviously want to caveat this by saying I don't mean to kind of glorify ambition or say that it's a better or higher state of being I want to just speak from my own truth where the word ambition has all the cultural connotations if we take away that's connotation and all of the baggage surrounding it.
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In the sense of wanting to do something big dreaming of a big future that entails you serving people as well that entails you having you know whether it's talking on stages or being in a studio whatever it is that sense of like whoa like I just want to do something that scares me you know I have always had that sense in me
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and that's an energy that I think many of us have and many of us don't and that's perfectly okay it's when that ambition gets misapplied and applied towards toxic ends that the ambition itself is toxic.
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With that I felt both the duality of like wanting to do something big and serve the world through my voice and share my voice and share my ideas and I have all these ideas I want to do like I have to tell myself like ideas are literally floating with me at all times that's how I see it they're literally so into me they're always coming into my crown chakra my third eye I'm just like whoa like there's just so many seeds being planted at all times
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I feel like I'm in that constant conversation with the universe and as such and also with that with the ability to share ideas quite quickly through short form it just feels like I'm just an open channel that's receiving things and so I have all these ideas that I want to bring into the world
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but there's also that fear that comes the fear of visibility the fear of all of this working out the fear of success the fear of my own power as well and I've really been sitting with like why is it that we have this like on the one hand I want my podcast to reach everyone it's meant for when I dream of it being in a beautiful space and I dream of traveling with it and interviewing voices that are often left out of this space especially African voices
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and also just like black people in the diaspora as well as people with accents in the global south in general like all the wisdom that we have to offer as well as just people that I vibe with I'm very much like I just want to vibe it's an energetic alignment but I have this dream of like this growing quite substantially
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but at the same time I have this absolute fear of that because of the backlash that can come with that the fear of how daunting it is to be very visible that you know the more you climb the more it feels like there's people who are trying to tell you down
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and so there's always these dual like forces and I know it's not actually dual because the universe is whole and there's not duality but that's how I will communicate it to you today
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and there's that beautiful line in Audrey Lorde's essay the transformation of silence into language and action
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where she says of course we are afraid to share our voices to speak our truth to speak truth to power to say what we've come here to say
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but what we fear most she says is the visibility without which we cannot truly live
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so there she's capturing that paradox we're afraid of being seen but even more than that we're afraid of not being seen
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and that really resonates with my soul because as terrified as I am of being visible in a negative way the thing that I can't stand even more is the idea that I would hold myself back
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from what I feel like is my destiny is my path or part of my path on this earth
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and so when we think about it from that lens we start to feel that this idea of fear it has this paradox in it
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because what if the universe's communication with us and with our destinies and with our purposes
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what if one of the languages it uses to communicate with us is fear
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you know we have this mind that labels this as that and this as this so when we feel this energy within us
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we label that as fear and we label that fear as bad
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what I want to invite you into is a slightly different perspective
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if it's one thing about me I'm going to invite you into a different perspective
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so if you enjoy that if that tickles your fancy stick around because you will be invited
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so the first point on this when we think about what language the universe is using
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I want to talk to you about God okay and I mean that in a spiritual sense
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I'm not a Christian I believe in the universe in source I feel like I believe in the divine
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I believe in universal consciousness and the feeling that the divine is trying to manifest and live through us
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but I am not at odds with faith I'm at odds with the way that religion is weaponized
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but there's a difference between God or God's themselves and then how those are weaponized
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to serve kind of human hierarchies and human desires of dominance and control and imperialism
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white supremacy male supremacy patriarchy all of these things
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religion has been weaponized to serve those ends but that doesn't mean that like God Allah
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themselves are somehow evil in any way I mean this is a very big conversation
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but what I mean to say is there's a way that we can directly access the divine
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without kind of conflating that with how it has been manipulated and has been weaponized
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by powerful systems that want to retain power in order to enact their power and control
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and justify it in our consciousness and in our minds so the idea of patriarchy is very much upheld
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by the idea of this one male God and so that comes through but also at the same time
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there's people who have very beautiful and loving relationships with God
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and I think that's wonderful and so I think we're all kind of speaking about the same thing
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when we talk about God source universe universal consciousness
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for me I like the universe because it feels multiple
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so it feels like I'm not just talking about one entity I'm talking about every entity
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I like the universe because it feels very queer to me it feels like the universe
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encompasses all possibilities of being so it's not male it's not female it's not
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straights it's not queer it's like every possibility is involved in the concept of the universe
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and that to me really resonates with me the fact that it's in everything
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but I know that for other people that's what God represents to them it's in everything
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so for me the universe is in the air that allows me to breathe
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that inspires me breathes life into me the universe is in my hands
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the universe is in my bacteria the universe is in the birds chirping supporting me
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so I feel this universal energy is always accessible to me
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I don't have to like think of an entity it's just always available
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again this is not an argument against God it's just like LOL the fact that that even has to be said
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but it's basically like just a little bit of an invitation into how my consciousness makes sense
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of the divide and this beautiful dimension and mystical dimension of being that exists
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okay that the colonizer will always try to suppress in our understanding of reality
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because they want to dominate our relationship to that force
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so when we think of Christianity we think of the fact that like the reason why
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it's played such a big role in dominance in imperialism white supremacy colonialism
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is because they knew we needed to have access to the divine and they wanted to control that access
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they wanted to be the ones who dominated our relationship to the divine
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and said this is how you access God because as humans we always crave something higher
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something bigger and we see that that can take form in the form of actual guides
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or guides that take shape in culture the God of celebrity the God of money the God of fame
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the God of success the God of working and the Protestant work ethics
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so anyways we could go on and on and on you know it's always just going to be a walk
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we're going to go where we need to go so how I started this whole path
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as I said I want to talk to you about God I want you to imagine whether or not you believe in God
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whatever word resonates with you if you met God or if you met the source of the universe
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or if you met the universal energy itself whatever we are channeling when we have dreams
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where do they come from whatever mystical reality resonates with you
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if you were to meet the source of that how would you feel
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so the bird chirping if you met the source of why birds chirp
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or you met the source of the beginning of everything if you met the all knowing
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if you met the all powerful how would you feel
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part of you I will offer would feel afraid
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you would be in awe of the divine you'd be like wow you are the all powerful
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you are the all knowing you are the all seeing you are the all loving
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you are the reason why love pulsates through my spirits
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you are the reason why I feel like my intuition just comes in and tells me
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you need to go to the market on Tuesday and then on Tuesday what happens
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I meet the perfect friend or collaborator right
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so if you are the source of that divine knowing then that's quite terrifying
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and at the same time when we think of the concept of all
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all is looking at something bigger than you more divine than you
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and being and feeling kind of that that's that's smallness when you look at the ocean
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you're like wow I'm in awe of this like look how vast and huge and magical the universe is
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and there's this kind of humbling feeling of like oh I'm so small in relation to the universe
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when we look at the stars we're in awe we're kind of placed into this position
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of looking at the bigness of something
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and so when we think of our creativity and our power and our fear of success
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I think it's we're facing that same phenomenon
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we are facing power but like a benevolent kind of power
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and we're afraid of it and then we think that that fear means it's bad
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we think that fear is inherently bad but what if that fear is just a testament to the fact that you're meeting God
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you're meeting source you're meeting the divine you're meeting the universe
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and you're feeling the power of that energy so when we look at how we think
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we're supposed to manifest on earth right when we think wow this could be my purpose
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I don't believe we have one but like I'm meant to be someone who's interviewing amazing voices
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or I'm meant to if you want to be a singer I'm meant to sing on stages
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if you want to be a speaker I'm meant to speak on stages
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but when you think about it first there's the excitement, the aspiration, the desire
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and then very quickly there's the fear
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but what if that fear again is the universe as God is trying to speak to you in the language that it understands
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now one of the languages because it also speaks to you through the desire
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it also speaks to you through the love it also speaks to you through the possibility
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through the energy that that idea has for you
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your dream is your dream many people don't feel that way about that dream
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you could say oh I really dream of speaking on a stage and other people like that fucking terrifies me
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I would hate to do that so our dreams they come from the specific relationship we have
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with the life experience with path we've walked with the ancestors we have
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the histories we have and so on okay so when we are afraid of our own success
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I think it's because we are afraid in the same way that we would be afraid if we met
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the source of love the source of power the source of everything
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it's like if you look at the sun the sun is beautiful and wonderful I mean it's amazing that it warms us up
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I'm a sun being I love the sun but also the sun is fucking terrifying
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so there is that again duality of things that are very powerful are also very scary
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and maybe my love you fear your success because you fear that power within you
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you fear your own kind of greatness you fear your own magic why because you've
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also been alienated from that view of yourself from the fact that you are magical
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that you have magical gifts right that you have this divine knowing and I by knowing
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I don't mean in the red the books you've read the degrees you have I mean in the intuitive
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sense in the felt sense the way you can move your hips can be a certain kind of knowing
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the way that you listen to someone and hear the words between the words that's a magical gift
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if you're a very good listener you have a magical gift there I mean I listen to
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podcasts all the time and I'm like this guest this host is not listening
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and it makes me so annoyed and I'll do another episode on that perhaps
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but essentially we fear our own power and this is point number two why I think
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we fear our own success because we've been taught such a toxic version of power
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and we actually need to heal our relationship with our understanding of power
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so that we can step into ours so obviously in this world that we live in power has
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deeply been manipulated to serve absolutely some of the most evil ends we think of
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the power that the state of Israel has we think of the power of the US and
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empire and bombs and war and we think of the power of hierarchies and
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capitalism and how these systems work to empower people who have power and
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disempower people who the system has robbed of that power or who has deemed
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powerless right when actually we all have a certain kind of power especially when
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we're in collective action and union and community which is also why the West
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had to create this notion of isolation and separation so that collective power
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would be diminished right and I also believe the same about romantic love
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part of why we have so much of an emphasis on finding this one person
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is because we are less potent when we are conceiving of love in such a
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reduced and minimized way and a singular way the idea that
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all this energy we have within us to love and be loved should be channeled into
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one person who does it serve
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because let me tell you if we were all in love with each other and we already
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see that with how people are showing up for Palestine with how people are showing
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up for Congo when we when we associate love to the collective
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when we feel like we are one human body and we all deserve
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to be protected and to act in service of and in protection and love and
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honor of each other we're much more potent we're much more active there are demands
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that we make in service of the other that we won't make if we're viewing the world
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individualistic lens that is why we have this
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contrast between these deeply collectivist cultures in the global south in the
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places where the West colonized which have actually that collectivism has
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stood the test of time right and that's why you have this imbalance in understanding
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of like where power sits but then what did the West do they imposed
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their government structures on the global south such that
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they kind of manipulated the system so that they would have a collectivist
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fine but an individualist government that's often out for itself
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often out for corruption out for patriarchy out for enriching themselves
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so then you have the the true power of that collectiveist structure
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diminished which also happened through the creation of nation states right
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we weren't meant to be organized this way so the West diminished the power of the global south by imposing
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nations on us therefore putting eternal conflict
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as like our destiny because we're not meant to be divided in this way
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of forming our own collectives and tribes right and we were largely in peace
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with one another largely basically we've seen all these nefarious examples
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of power and so we think of power we think of governments that have too
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much power over their people that work to protect elites
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we think of power in terms of the power that bosses and people with power
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in our lives have had over us we think of power in terms of parents who've maybe harmed us
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the trauma we faced and the people with power who traumatized us
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got power in terms of male violence cis heteropatriarchy
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violence against us in our specific identities so we have this idea that
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power is bad power corrupts right that's that classic saying
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but this is not actually in alignment with nature
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just because again similar with God and Christianity just because we
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have manipulated a concept to serve dominance to serve hierarchy
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to serve supremacy does not mean that concept in and of itself is
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hierarchical is supremacist is malevolent
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right what do I mean by this try to think of nature
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and not think of power everything in nature has a certain kind of power
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the power of the sun to literally
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like light up the earth and ensure that we can have
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life growing from the soil that we can have energy as human beings
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we are interacting and dancing with the sun at all times
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that we can have life on earth at the specific distance
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right so that's also another lesson we can learn about power
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that it's about a certain like power too much power
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the sun was closer to us we would obviously burn to death so too much power
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and power in an orientation that is
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dominating or toxic or doesn't allow space is a negative thing in my mind
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but power in and of itself is not there's also the power of the termites
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might mount so there's the power of the ants
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I weird this essay about how ant colonies have literally like
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taken over so many parts of the earth
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and part of that was actually linked to colonialism
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because in the ships they would take plants
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and in those plants they would take these ants
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and then the ants are really good at collaborating
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so they're very good colonizers
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in the sense I'm not loving it that but in the sense that they're very
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collaborative so when they enter a new environment
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it's kind of like they're working together
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it was very fascinating I'll link to the essay
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things just come up I had no idea that would come up
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that's the beauty of consciousness as our art form
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is that whatever goes in is what's gonna come out
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you know what I mean so essentially
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when we see nature and we see the power of the rain
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to restore the earth to enter the farmers prayers
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but also to drown out to flood right
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when we think of the power of water to nourish us
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to replenish us to soothe us to cleanse us
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right to cleanse our skin
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and then we also think that water when there's too much of it
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can again have the power to flood to drown out to kill
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right the power of fire to warm us
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okay to bring us this feeling of warmth to warm our food
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to warm our tea
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but then the power of the fire also to cause complete havoc
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the wildfire okay
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and sometimes that's needed in nature
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but of course now we're out of balance
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and that's not what's happening
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okay so we see that all things in nature
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the power of the bird to sing
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the power of the bird to form a nest
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off when I'm in Joe Burke I watch this one bird
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these birds not one bird creating this one nest
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and it is fascinating to me
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these beings are so intelligent and wise
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like we are tapped into a collective intelligence of earth
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that I think is of universe that is so powerful
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like I'm alive and I don't even understand how
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do you know how powerful that is
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like I only know what I actually need to know
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that is so deeply powerful
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how did that come to be
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and that's not a scientific question
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it's a spiritual question
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we're tapped into something that is so powerful babes
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we can literally be around someone
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and feel that something is off with them
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I mean talk about power
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we can listen to someone say something
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and know that there's more to what they're saying
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talk about power
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we can be with someone
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and our emotions can co-regulate with theirs
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literally whatever their nervous system is doing
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is going to impact ours
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talk about the power in thoughts
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what I mean we can hear a story
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be doing one thing
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hear this story
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completely change our whole world
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and do another thing
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talk about power
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the power of that storyteller
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so we need to understand that
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power can be very very very healing, wonderful, special
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and profound
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it doesn't have to be this complete toxic force
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that lights everything up
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and we the ones who are trying to usher
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in a different kind of being
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we cannot be out of our power
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we cannot be hiding from our power
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because then how will we usher
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the new paradigm into being
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if you have a vision for a world that's not this
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which I'm sure you do
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in the sense that
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you see things are not right
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and you want to make them right turn
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but then each time you have an idea
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you're like no
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you are not in your power
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you are not honoring the magic of your gift
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you are not honoring the magic of your voice
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your voice has power babe
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think about the song you listen to
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that heals you
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how powerful
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that moves you
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how powerful
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that makes you laugh
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that makes you cry
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that makes you connect with a friend
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you send it to them
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suddenly you're having a whole conversation
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or they know
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oh she's thinking of me
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she sent me the song
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so we as creators
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oh my word
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we are in one of the most powerful roles
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that we can hope to be in
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because we are creating
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we are bringing forth
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what seeks to be brought forth
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through us
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and the interesting thing about this is
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I believe
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all creation is co-creation
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there's no such thing as creating people say
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you create your own reality
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I've never believed anything less
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that's actually not true
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but I don't believe that at all
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you co-create your reality
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with so many collaborators
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and conspirators
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co-conspirators
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okay
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you co-create your reality with the universe
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you co-create your reality with language
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so for example
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I'm conceiving of the world in English
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I'm very ashamed
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I don't speak my native languages
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I'm on a path to address that
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you know
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like obviously
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I have like a surface level
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I'm deciding it's actually one of my deepest shames
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and here I am naming it
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the power of that's how profound
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so my mother tongue is Zulu
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I'm South African
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and I'm also Namibian
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I was born in Namibia
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then I grew up in South Africa
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so I moved to South Africa
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when I was three
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I was born and went to Namibia
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when I was
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when I was born
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moved to South Africa
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now three
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my parents spoke different languages
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and they decided to teach me neither
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people make the wrong decision sometimes
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so I feel like I'm conceiving of this reality
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in the colonizer's tongue
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I'm doing a great job
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but also I feel like
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there's always going to be
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something to grieve
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and mourn in that
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and I felt
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a lot of
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I was even journaling about this today
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like it dawned me
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I'm daunted by
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I mean I took Zulu in high school
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I can speak like a basic level of it
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but I can't like speak
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you know what I mean?
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and I feel like
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part of my soul curriculum
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is to go on that part
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but I am too nervous
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because I have so much going on right now
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to fully confront and address that that is my part
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so anyways
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just want to send love to all the people
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who feel kind of removed
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from their culture in a certain way
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and are trying to fight their way back to it
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there's a saying
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I think it's from Aboriginal people
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and I want to say New Zealand
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but I could be wrong
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it's either New Zealand or Australia
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that is based
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and I think it's the
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Maori people
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but I could be wrong
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please forgive me
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just shower me in forgiveness
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the power of that
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but essentially that it takes one generation
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to lose a language
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and three to win it back
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and I think that's beautiful
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I don't know how they came up with that
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but I think that's quite profound and beautiful and special
24:30
so you're always co-creating your reality
24:32
because the language you were given
24:34
and that the languages you were given
24:36
if you're multilingual
24:37
it's going to impact
24:38
how you
24:39
read your reality
24:41
okay?
24:42
it's literally like
24:43
if you have a language
24:44
that has seven words for love
24:46
you're going to conceive your reality of love
24:48
in a very different way
24:49
than someone who only has one word
24:51
if you have a language
24:52
that has many different
24:54
has a certain notion of respectful elders
24:57
embedded in the language
24:58
you're going to conceive of reality
24:59
in a completely different way
25:01
so with that
25:02
how can we say
25:03
you create your own reality
25:04
it's a very individualistic
25:06
like in position of spiritual lessons
25:08
onto Western ideas
25:10
which is you, the self
25:12
I literally it's not going to be me
25:14
you know what I mean?
25:15
I don't believe that
25:16
I believe you obviously play a role
25:18
you're a storyteller
25:20
you're part of the storytellers
25:21
you're one of the storytellers of your life
25:23
and I never want to say
25:24
that's in a disempowering way
25:25
like you are relegated to receive reality
25:27
that's why I say
25:29
you co-create your reality
25:31
so for example
25:32
you read a book
25:33
you see the world differently
25:34
and then are you to say
25:35
oh I created the reality that I see
25:37
no no no no no no
25:38
you and the author
25:39
and then read the acknowledgments
25:40
and see how many people supported the author
25:42
co-created that perspective
25:43
you know what I mean?
25:44
this is a beautiful idea
25:45
like it's stunning
25:46
it's wonderful
25:47
we are always co-creating
25:48
I'm co-creating this episode
25:49
right? I'm co-creating it with you
25:51
because you are receiving it
25:52
and you are internalizing it in a specific way
25:54
but I'm also co-creating it with all the inputs
25:57
I've ever had in my whole life
25:58
the birds that were chirping
25:59
they co-created this with me
26:01
because were they not part of the inspiration
26:03
the friends I've had, the conversations I've had
26:05
the language I have received
26:06
the way that I've been received
26:08
the way that I've been loved
26:09
so my parents might not have told me my languages
26:11
but they loved me
26:12
okay?
26:13
and that's something that is rare in this world
26:14
so I'm grateful
26:15
to have been loved in the way that I've been loved
26:17
you know, to have been given that sense of deep rooted love
26:21
and the love not only for my parents
26:23
but my family in general
26:24
who have poured love into me
26:26
coming from that big family structure
26:28
you know, of cousins, aunts
26:30
you know, grandparents, all of the things
26:32
and just like feeling their love
26:35
flow through me
26:36
and so I feel like sometimes
26:38
I feel like
26:39
I feel like I'm here to share my consciousness
26:41
but my consciousness would be even more deep and rich
26:44
and profound
26:45
if I also was able to bring you that
26:47
like to bring in that perspective
26:49
like of the way my language sees things
26:52
versus the way that I've learned to see things in English
26:56
you know what I mean?
26:57
so I feel alienated from a kind of wisdom
26:59
that I know I'm supposed to also maybe have
27:01
but I also feel daunted
27:02
because learning a language
27:03
I have this mental block is like so much work
27:05
it's a lot and I'm a perfectionist
27:07
so I'm like oh I need to be fluent
27:08
I need to be perfect
27:09
I need to be confident
27:10
versus like just allowing myself
27:12
maybe I wrote this in my journal
27:13
just like practice for 15 minutes
27:15
you know what I mean?
27:16
so isn't so funny
27:18
I'll just say this to you all
27:19
because my soul sibling
27:20
you're vibrating on my frequency
27:22
you support me or here
27:23
for whatever comes up
27:24
and I love that in you
27:25
and through you I love feeling
27:27
like I have the space to do that
27:28
but I started this episode with the full intention
27:30
of making it like one of those short YouTube videos
27:33
that potentially could go viral
27:34
and just like would be fire and shorts
27:36
but each time I start speaking
27:38
I'm just like I don't want to stop
27:39
I want it to just be meandering
27:41
I want to take a journey
27:43
I want to take a walk
27:44
that doesn't have a destination
27:46
or a path
27:47
I want to give myself the space
27:48
to play and roam and speak
27:50
you know what I mean?
27:51
I even journaled yesterday
27:52
from the perspective of my voice
27:54
and I was channeling wisdom
27:56
from my voice now saying
27:57
give me the room to speak
27:58
give me the room to play
27:59
give me the room to express
28:01
don't silence me
28:03
I have things to say
28:04
and I relate to my voice
28:06
in this mystical way
28:07
where it's like of me
28:08
and through me it's not always
28:09
I don't even know what's going to come up fully
28:11
like I have my ideas
28:12
but there are just ideas
28:13
that are floating with me again
28:15
and then the ideas like
28:16
no that's not what I'm feeling right now
28:17
the energy is moving
28:18
through me a different way
28:19
and I just honor that
28:20
so thank you for
28:21
making me feel like I have this space
28:22
to just kind of like
28:23
tap into whatever
28:24
wants to be tapped into
28:25
wow okay
28:29
so we co-create our reality
28:32
so with that power
28:33
this is a game
28:34
the reason why this is important
28:36
is when we think of the fact
28:38
we all are co-creators
28:39
at all times
28:40
co-creating relationships
28:41
co-creating expectations
28:42
co-creating art
28:43
co-creating creations
28:45
if you take yourself out
28:46
and say I'm not going to create
28:48
because this isn't good enough
28:49
I'm not going to obviously
28:50
if you have constraints
28:51
like you don't have enough time
28:52
often we actually don't
28:53
or you like
28:55
don't have the capacity
28:56
you're in a season of rest
28:57
whatever it is
28:58
I honor that
28:59
what I'm saying is
29:00
if you know babes
29:01
and I know many of you
29:02
listening to this
29:03
you feel cool to create
29:04
you already
29:05
you have everything you need
29:06
and you don't do that
29:07
what are you doing
29:08
you are listening
29:09
the symphony of creation
29:10
that can happen between us
29:11
because you could be the song
29:13
you could be the video
29:14
you could be the podcast episode
29:16
you could be
29:17
the piece
29:18
and I just want to also say
29:19
obviously I come from a perspective
29:21
of sharing your art
29:22
you don't have to do that
29:23
but it's hard for me
29:24
to speak to something
29:25
that I'm not doing
29:26
so I'm very much in the role
29:27
of sharing things that I make
29:28
I don't think that's more valid
29:30
you don't have to commodify
29:31
or you don't have to
29:32
share your art online
29:33
this is just
29:34
I just want to share
29:35
from my perspective
29:36
of the world
29:37
which is like clearly
29:38
I believe it's important
29:39
since I'm doing it
29:40
but that's not to impose that on you
29:41
but essentially
29:43
if you are taking yourself
29:45
out of that equation
29:46
and saying yeah I feel
29:47
cool to make YouTube videos
29:48
but I'm not going to make them
29:49
or yes I feel cool to be a musician
29:51
but I'm not going to pursue that
29:52
then what's happening
29:53
what about all the
29:54
chain reaction
29:55
of the people who want to be
29:56
affected by what you have to say
29:58
we are
29:59
can't be our most potent force
30:01
ushering in the next paradigm
30:02
if those of us
30:03
who feel cool to create
30:04
and share
30:05
like our silencing ourselves
30:07
do you know what I mean
30:08
I think you feel what I'm saying
30:10
we are part of the symphony of life
30:12
we are part of the flea market of life
30:14
and our table
30:15
matters
30:16
because it's part of the whole human experience
30:18
and we have no idea who's going to stroll by
30:20
and feel like our fruits
30:22
are exactly what their soul has been seeking
30:24
you know what I mean
30:26
do you know what I mean
30:27
do you know what I am saying to you
30:29
okay
30:30
so we need to reclaim
30:31
the kind of power
30:32
that is us stepping into
30:33
the power with
30:35
the power to
30:36
not the power over
30:37
hmm
30:38
sexy wonderful
30:39
beautiful
30:40
so not I am the creator
30:41
I have power over you
30:43
but I
30:44
with your consciousness
30:46
and mine
30:47
which I believe is united
30:48
in terms of its source
30:49
we have the power
30:51
to create a really powerful experience
30:52
through this
30:53
45 minutes
30:54
we
30:55
and in fact
30:56
even more deeper than that
30:57
it's your energy
30:58
that you feed into me
31:00
allows me to create this
31:01
in the first place
31:02
like I'm on episode 40
31:04
babes
31:05
like I was one
31:06
I was one
31:07
I was one fearing
31:08
one
31:09
and it's so
31:10
it's reciprocal
31:11
it's all
31:12
it's everything
31:13
everywhere
31:14
or at once
31:15
you know what I mean
31:16
like you created this more than me
31:17
you know
31:18
or we created this
31:19
so that's power with
31:20
so when you think of
31:21
especially those of you
31:22
who are drawn to
31:23
like you want
31:24
you're drawn to building
31:25
community around what you're doing
31:27
right
31:28
which is of course
31:29
what I feel drawn to
31:30
if you feel drawn
31:31
and voice
31:32
what you need to understand is
31:33
this is bigger than you
31:34
this is about
31:36
all the people
31:38
the power with
31:39
like what if you create this community
31:41
what power are you
31:43
then collectively going to have
31:44
and unlock
31:45
within each other
31:46
what if through you
31:47
someone meets their dream partner
31:49
who they can collaborate with
31:50
or love
31:51
or love
31:52
or be with
31:53
or frolic within the forest
31:54
like what if through you
31:55
people find something
31:56
that they didn't even know
31:57
was in them
31:58
what if through you
31:59
people unlock
32:00
a power that was dormant
32:01
within them
32:02
because they didn't feel
32:03
like they had the permission to
32:04
that is power with
32:06
it's not power over
32:09
you know what I mean
32:11
you know what I'm saying
32:13
so we need to embrace
32:15
our power with
32:16
like if I just stick
32:18
to this path
32:19
what could this become
32:20
for us
32:21
what spaces could I create
32:23
what could I even
32:25
receive
32:26
and then also
32:27
in part
32:28
it's actually
32:29
just profoundly beautiful
32:30
and special thing
32:31
it requires a kind of
32:32
level of surrender
32:33
but it also requires us
32:34
to heal our relationship
32:35
with power
32:36
and say we can look at
32:37
something and say
32:38
yes I know this has been
32:39
applied
32:40
to very evil
32:41
toxic
32:42
manipulative
32:43
supremacist
32:44
hierarchical ends
32:45
but there's another kind of
32:47
power
32:48
and if we open up our field
32:50
we'll start to see
32:51
how much of that power
32:52
also exists
32:53
the power to be in love
32:55
with
32:56
the power to co-create
32:57
with
32:58
the power to be
32:59
in community with
33:00
the power to be
33:01
in service of
33:02
that takes power
33:04
honoring yourself
33:05
and your gifts
33:06
takes power
33:07
so if you're afraid
33:08
of your success
33:09
I want you to know
33:11
that there's a reason
33:12
you feel cold
33:13
to this path
33:14
nothing is a mistake
33:16
okay?
33:17
so there's a reason
33:18
and what I
33:19
journaled
33:20
before this episode
33:21
because I was feeling
33:22
the fear
33:23
is I trust myself
33:24
to create
33:25
what I need to create today
33:27
I trust my voice
33:28
to say
33:29
what it needs to say
33:30
I trust my own
33:31
power
33:32
to express
33:33
what it needs to be
33:34
expressed
33:35
what it feels
33:36
cold to
33:37
need is a kind of
33:38
tired word
33:39
let's say
33:40
tired is fine
33:41
I've been tired
33:42
I haven't been sleeping
33:43
well recently
33:44
but essentially
33:45
need
33:46
or feel cold to
33:47
let's embrace
33:48
what we feel
33:49
cold to create
33:50
with more trust
33:51
increasingly
33:52
I believe
33:53
that trust
33:54
is the opposite of fear
33:55
it's like
33:56
and someone tells you
33:57
okay, your challenge
33:58
is you have to go
33:59
and turn on the lights
34:00
in this dark room
34:01
and you don't know
34:02
where any of the obstacles are
34:03
so you're terrified
34:04
you're like
34:05
oh my goodness
34:06
I have no idea
34:07
what if there's something
34:08
shop that I bump into
34:09
so you're walking
34:10
every single step
34:11
is very much
34:12
with tension
34:13
and with fear
34:14
and anxiety
34:15
but then I say
34:16
afterwards
34:17
oh, actually the room
34:18
that you're in
34:19
is your own bedroom
34:20
oh, I can walk in the dark
34:22
I trust myself
34:23
to know the way
34:25
I mean
34:26
the opposite of fear
34:27
was your own trust
34:28
in your own
34:29
wisdom
34:30
your own knowing
34:31
and your own experience
34:32
like I've walked
34:33
this path a hundred times
34:34
I can walk it again
34:35
so even when you're
34:36
walking a path
34:37
that you haven't walked
34:38
let's say you're trying
34:39
something new
34:40
and you're feeling the fear
34:41
so you struggle
34:42
to trust based on experience
34:44
there's a deeper
34:45
kind of trust
34:46
accessible to you
34:47
which is just saying to yourself
34:48
I trust myself
34:50
to walk the path
34:52
that I feel cold to walk
34:54
I trust that
34:55
there's a reason
34:56
that I desire this
34:57
I trust that this fear
34:58
is actually telling me
35:00
in the
35:01
in the language
35:02
that the universe speaks
35:03
how important this is
35:04
to my soul's path
35:05
my soul's development
35:06
my soul's journey
35:07
and the lessons
35:08
that I've come here
35:09
on earth to learn
35:10
I trust that I'm
35:11
part of a much
35:12
bigger story
35:13
that I don't even fully
35:14
understand
35:15
and that what if
35:16
one of my many
35:17
5,000 ancestors
35:18
is trying to speak
35:19
through me
35:20
through this path
35:21
that I'm fearing
35:22
and what if
35:23
I'm not powerful
35:24
this destiny is
35:25
and how powerful
35:26
I am scared to admit
35:28
that I am
35:30
I trust in my own magic
35:32
I trust in my own gifts
35:34
and I trust in the collective
35:35
that is waiting
35:36
to receive me
35:38
or be received by me
35:39
because so often
35:40
we feel so seen
35:41
by other people's words
35:43
we didn't even know
35:44
what we were longing for
35:45
that's the whole idea
35:46
of what you see
35:47
is seeking you
35:48
what you desire
35:49
is desiring you
35:50
what you desire
35:51
to create
35:52
so we're all
35:53
part of this
35:54
beautiful symphony
35:55
babes
35:56
and I love it for us
35:57
so I'll leave you
35:58
with the question
35:59
okay, in the soul salon
36:00
and I'm going to
36:01
I want to let this
36:02
kind of concept
36:03
the space sink
36:04
in a little bit
36:05
more before I share
36:06
with you
36:07
what it can be
36:08
and what it is
36:09
and also maybe
36:10
get your thoughts on that
36:11
so anyways
36:12
but what I want to
36:13
remind you
36:14
obviously I want to
36:15
bring you back
36:16
into your own
36:17
power, your own wisdom
36:18
people have been
36:19
asking me a lot
36:20
in my recent videos
36:21
how can I
36:22
think more like you
36:23
and basically
36:24
how can I think
36:26
more deeply
36:27
or be more wise
36:28
essentially is what
36:29
they're asking me
36:30
with no ego involved
36:31
that is what they're
36:32
asking me
36:33
I'm just sharing that
36:34
with you
36:35
and I've been thinking
36:36
a lot about that question
36:37
and how I'm
36:38
meant to respond to it
36:39
because I feel like
36:40
that's a whole thing
36:41
that's a beautiful thing
36:42
but what I
36:43
thought first goes to
36:44
is how can you
36:45
think more like you
36:46
and a key thing
36:47
in that story
36:48
is really
36:49
silencing out
36:50
or not serving
36:51
your deepest
36:52
consciousness
36:53
that's something I
36:54
really believe in
36:55
that it's not about
36:56
reading more things
36:57
or understanding more
36:58
things that's beautiful
36:59
I love those things
37:00
but it's also about
37:01
understanding you
37:02
journaling or
37:03
sitting with yourself
37:04
sending yourself a
37:05
voice note
37:06
reflecting and taking
37:07
your consciousness
37:08
so seriously
37:09
so that it has the
37:10
space to speak
37:11
that's what my voice was
37:12
asking me
37:13
it's not asking me
37:14
to go to training
37:15
or it's saying
37:16
give me room
37:17
let me play
37:18
like I just
37:19
want to play
37:20
and that's what I
37:21
did in this episode
37:22
so I hope that it
37:23
served you
37:24
and I hope that you
37:25
remember that you are
37:26
so powerful
37:27
and you have the power
37:28
to really unlock
37:29
possibilities
37:30
for yourself and for others
37:31
that may not
37:32
even seem feasible
37:33
to you right now
37:34
I don't mean that
37:35
in terms of the lifestyle
37:36
kind of pornography
37:37
that were given
37:38
I don't mean that
37:39
in terms of who
37:40
you could become
37:41
from a ward
37:42
or ranking
37:43
or celebrity way
37:44
I mean
37:45
that we are meant
37:46
to be unfolding
37:47
into the potential
37:48
we see within ourselves
37:49
and it's difficult
37:51
to separate this
37:52
from the whole
37:53
self-development
37:54
lens of hustle culture
37:55
and be your best
37:56
self and always
37:57
be improving
37:58
and optimizing
37:59
that's not what I'm
38:00
saying at all
38:01
and I think if you're
38:02
here you know that
38:03
I'm tapping into
38:04
something deeper
38:05
our souls are
38:06
longing to sing
38:07
let's say
38:08
and often we're like
38:09
now's not the time
38:10
that's not good enough
38:11
that's not a good
38:12
enough song
38:13
that's a bad song
38:14
you're a bad musician
38:15
by
38:16
and that's not what I
38:17
think
38:18
that's what I'm
38:19
inviting myself into
38:20
this week
38:21
and I hope that you feel
38:22
invited as well
38:23
I'm sending you all
38:24
the love
38:25
remember that
38:26
the power within you
38:27
is also terrifying
38:28
it's the God in you
38:29
it's the universe
38:30
it's the star dust
38:31
in you
38:32
it's magnificent
38:33
and it's all inspiring
38:34
which means
38:35
it feels big
38:36
which means
38:37
we want to hide
38:38
from it
38:39
what do we do
38:40
from power structures
38:41
from powerful figures
38:42
in our lives
38:43
sometimes
38:44
we hide
38:45
because we're afraid
38:46
let's tap into
38:47
the fact that we
38:48
are meant to be
38:49
in our fullest power
38:50
to serve each other
38:51
to love each other
38:52
to
38:53
to
38:54
if I was listening to someone
38:55
speak about how
38:56
she's an energetic
38:57
healer
38:58
she was South African
38:59
she's an energetic healer
39:00
and I think she's South African
39:01
she's an energetic healer
39:02
and she was talking about
39:03
the fear of the perception
39:04
of kind of being like
39:05
a witch
39:06
and this idea of witchcraft
39:07
and it was interesting
39:08
because I was thinking
39:09
to myself
39:10
on my word
39:11
like my energy needs healing
39:12
and like there's a specific way
39:13
you are going to do it
39:14
that's going to be magical
39:16
so if she decides
39:17
to not move forward
39:18
with that idea
39:19
there's all these people
39:20
who could have been healed
39:21
through her energy
39:22
healing
39:23
that will now not be healed
39:25
in her specific way
39:26
so that is an example
39:27
of kind of hiding
39:28
from our own power
39:29
like
39:30
you wouldn't be an energy healer
39:31
if you didn't feel the power
39:32
within you to heal energy
39:34
and we all need that
39:35
so it's like
39:36
honoring this power
39:37
that we have
39:38
like there's so many people
39:39
on earth that don't
39:40
dream of being energy healer
39:41
so the dream is
39:42
with you for a reason
39:44
and like you're so precious
39:45
and divine
39:46
and I know that there's
39:47
all these cultural
39:48
and societal messages
39:49
that we're battling
39:50
and confronting
39:51
and that's a huge reason
39:52
why we feel the fear
39:53
is because
39:54
of all of this
39:55
the representation
39:56
the cultural
39:57
understandings
39:58
limitations
39:59
that are put on us
40:00
especially given
40:01
our specific identities
40:02
and also at the same time
40:04
when we honor that calling
40:06
within us
40:07
so many people
40:08
will in turn
40:09
get to honor theirs
40:10
because expansion
40:11
is contagious
40:12
if we expand
40:13
we will expand those
40:14
that we are expanding
40:15
into and in front of
40:16
and for
40:17
so that's beautiful
40:18
and precious
40:19
so let us not hide our gifts
40:21
from the world
40:22
let us be in our magic
40:23
let us be in our
40:24
divinity
40:25
let us be in our power
40:26
let us be connected
40:27
to our intuition
40:28
and let us understand
40:29
that this is how
40:30
we awaken
40:31
the new world
40:32
the new paradigm
40:33
the new way of being
40:34
relating
40:35
seeing
40:36
feeling creating
40:37
relating
40:38
I say that
40:39
but I'll say it again
40:40
because we need that deeply
40:41
the way we unlock
40:42
a new way of being
40:43
is through our creativity
40:46
through our ability
40:47
to reimagine
40:48
that was the first name
40:49
of my podcast
40:50
and redesign
40:52
reimagine is actually
40:53
the perfect word
40:54
and reconstruct
40:56
every single part of society
40:57
art
40:58
therapy
40:59
different modalities
41:00
of healing
41:01
music
41:02
teaching needs to be reimagined
41:03
education needs to be reimagined
41:05
what types of education
41:06
we receive
41:07
how from who
41:08
who's an educator
41:09
and why
41:10
all these things
41:11
how do we treat educators
41:12
every single thing
41:13
needs to be reimagined
41:14
so every single thing
41:15
is a space for the creator
41:16
in us
41:17
to truly confront
41:18
their deepest calling
41:19
so that they can serve
41:20
the part of the
41:21
healing society
41:22
that they are here
41:23
to heal
41:25
I really believe that
41:26
like I believe
41:27
a new world is trying
41:28
to awaken
41:29
through us
41:30
you can feel the shift
41:31
you can feel that we are not
41:32
who we once were
41:33
and that you can also feel
41:34
that we are all
41:35
feeling called to purpose
41:36
called to meaning
41:37
called to
41:38
and I know
41:39
everyone can act
41:40
on that calling yet
41:41
so if you are in a position
41:43
too
41:44
if all that standing in your way
41:45
is really this block
41:46
that you have
41:48
we're asking you
41:49
like be in your power
41:50
so that it can unlock
41:51
more power in others
41:52
because there's many barriers
41:54
that people are
41:56
confronting
41:57
that are external to them
41:58
that prevent them
41:59
from living that truth
42:00
right
42:01
so that's again
42:02
reminding us that
42:03
I don't have to
42:04
I get to
42:05
that's what I told myself
42:06
before this episode
42:07
I was feeling the tension
42:08
what a gift
42:09
especially because I've been
42:10
sick for two weeks
42:11
I haven't been able to come
42:12
on here
42:13
I haven't been able to express
42:14
so it's like what a gift
42:15
that I can use my
42:16
aliveness and my energy
42:17
in this way
42:19
I love you so dearly
42:20
you are magical
42:21
you are divine
42:22
the divine and me
42:23
speaks to the divine
42:24
and you speaks to the divine
42:25
in us
42:26
we are the collective
42:27
and we are here to create
42:28
what we are called to create
42:30
we are here to exist
42:31
in the energy we feel
42:32
called to exist in
42:34
and we are here to support
42:35
each other
42:36
and receive each other
42:37
and cheer each other on
42:38
and let each other know
42:39
it's safe for you to
42:40
express
42:41
we all create these
42:43
monsters in our head
42:44
of everything that's going to
42:45
go wrong
42:46
and we are also here to
42:47
remind each other
42:48
of everything that can go
42:49
right
42:50
because as we invent
42:51
monsters
42:52
we don't also invent
42:53
angels
42:54
so we're using all
42:55
the subconscious creativity
42:56
to create worst-case
42:57
scenarios
42:58
when actually the best-case
42:59
scenario is possible
43:00
it is just as real
43:02
it can happen
43:03
for you
43:04
okay?
43:06
and it can be
43:07
wilder than your
43:08
wildest dreams
43:09
I love you
43:12
I'm sending my love
43:13
thank you for being
43:14
with me in the
43:15
Soul Salon
43:16
I hope you feel restored
43:17
rejuvenated
43:18
replenished
43:19
energized
43:20
scene
43:21
I hope that you resonated
43:22
with this
43:23
message
43:24
and I cannot wait
43:25
to keep walking
43:26
this beautiful path
43:27
with you
43:28
and to welcome you back
43:29
into the Soul Salon
43:30
in next week's
43:31
Soul session
43:32
thank you so
43:33
dearly I love you so
43:34
much
43:35
I hope that things
43:36
unfold
43:37
through
43:38
with
43:39
and between us
43:40
I'll see you next week
43:41
I love you so
43:42
dearly
43:43
bye
43:44
I hope some paradigms
43:45
have been shifted
43:46
for you in today's
43:47
conversation
43:48
as always if you can
43:49
please leave a five-star
43:50
rating on Apple
43:51
and Spotify
43:52
like, comment, subscribe
43:53
I love you so
43:54
so much
43:55
okay?
43:56
I love you
43:57
join me on my
43:58
sub-stack links
43:59
in the comment section
44:00
go there
44:01
okay?
44:02
love you so much
44:03
love you