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Who was the first narcissist in your life? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be asking the question, who was the first
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  narcissist in your life? Who could you be?
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  Your parent, sibling, best friend, boyfriend, girlfriend,
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  husband and wife? Who was it?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  another episode of The Narcissist.
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  Scope. Boom.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Y'all.
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  See, I retired the finger pistols.
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  I told you I would. I told you I would retire them.
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  And now they're gone. But yes, yes.
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  Yep, Yep, Yep. Who was that first elusive
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  narcissist in your life? I know it happens.
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  So a lot of people wonder this. Y'all this is more for the
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  viewers and whatnot. And out there they say out there
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  in YouTube land, Facebook land, wherever.
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  Y'all watching this podcast world and whatnot.
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  But yeah, who was the first narcissist in your life?
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  Because, I mean, so for me, it matters who their first
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  narcissist was because they can alter the course of your life a
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  lot of times. Toxic, narcissistic people, if
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  you can't get rid of them, so to speak, they will alter your
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  life. They will alter the trajectory
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  of your life. They absolutely can.
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  That's one of those things that does happen right there.
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  And if it's your parent, you hear me say it like if you can't
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  get rid of them, it's different. You can't get rid of your
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  parent. So if the first narcissist,
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  toxic person, whoever you dealt with in your life, is one of
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  your caretakers, your parent, your mom, your dad, I mean, some
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  people will get raised by their aunts and uncles and their
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  grandparents, your your main caretaker in your youth.
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  If that person is narcissistic, that can drastically or
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  dramatically alter the trajectory of your life.
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  It really, really can't because you know a lot of people you see
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  a lot of videos that say, hey look, if you were raised by a
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  toxic person, your chances of ending up with a toxic person
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  increase. Mean.
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  I don't know if they say exponentially, but they increase
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  greatly. If you get raised by a toxic
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  narcissistic person, chances are you might end up with a toxic
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  narcissistic person because that's what you're accustomed
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  to, right? That's what you used to
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  experience in in relationships within the household dynamic.
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  Hey, this is what I grew up around.
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  So this is OK. You know this is what this is
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  what I saw my mom and dad doing. So this is OK.
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  This is how I saw my mom treating my dad or how my dad
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  was treating my mom. So in my mind or my in my
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  unconscious brain, these behaviors are acceptable because
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  this is what I grew up in. This is OK.
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  So if the first narcissist in your life was your parent,
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  because think think back y'all, think back who was answered this
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  question? Who was dropping in the comment
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  section? Who was the first possible
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  narcissist toxic person that you deal with?
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  Who was it? Because this can help help out a
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  lot of people. Because so many people are in
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  toxic relationships, right. With narcissistic people, with
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  narcissistic men, narcissistic women, narcissistic people
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  overall in general. And when I'm talking to them
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  over Zoom, they opened up about some some things that happened
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  in their childhood. Oh yeah, my dad used to cheat a
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  lot. My mom used to cheat a lot.
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  Whatever it is, I'm like, wow, really.
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  And I'm like, yeah. And so I thought it was OK.
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  My mom would cheat a lot. My dad would just keep taking
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  her back, but he'd be angry. And my mom would just gaslight
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  him and manipulate him. And, you know, I never lived
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  there was my mom's standards. She had super high standards.
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  My dad had super high standards. My grandparents, whoever it was,
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  they had these super high unreasonable standards for you
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  as you were growing up. So you go into a relationship
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  dynamic. You know that you got neglected
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  as a child emotionally, that you are here and you're seeking that
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  validation that you didn't receive because you were
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  neglected when you were a child. You see how that works.
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  You see the mindset of the mentality that goes into that
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  right there. You see the scope of it.
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  That's what happens right there. Y'all this is part of what
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  happens, you know? I know it sounds dramatic.
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  I know it sounds got like kind of.
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  I'm not going to say it sounds unbelievable because it doesn't
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  sound unbelievable, but it's part of it.
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  Y'all this is part of what so many people face.
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  Like if the first narcissist was a caretaker, it's different.
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  It affects your life in the you know you you don't.
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  It's almost damn near like you don't get a fighting chance when
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  you're getting raised right. When you you you get a raise in
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  the toxic environment you damn near don't.
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  You know you typically end up becoming a product of your
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  environment. I got a video I just did on
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  Monday about becoming a product of your environment.
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  How you can you should make your environment a product of you
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  when you get older. But so many people end up being
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  a product of their environment when you get raised within a
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  toxic household or toxic escape or whatever, you know, toxic
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  grandparents. If the first toxic narcissistic
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  person you dealt with in LA is in a relationship that's
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  different. Y'all because it's almost damn
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  near like you have to treat toxic parents different
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  sometimes. Do you treat toxic boyfriends or
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  girlfriends? Because before y'all get to it,
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  if you've noticed that you're dealing with a narcissist, you
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  know early on, chances are you can cut them off before things
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  get too deep, right? You can cut that person out
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  before things go to the next level, Before y'all, Start
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  adding things to the relationship right before y'all,
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  start having kids before y'all start buying a house or buying
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  cars or talking about being engaged and things like that.
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  Before things like that start happening, you can cut it off,
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  but if you notice the signs and the red flags before you get in
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  too deep, it's possible to get out of there quicker.
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  You know that's different than being raised 18/19/20 years
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  within a toxic household. You know so many people and this
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  is y'all. I'm not trying to make it seem
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  like one is tougher than the other or one is greater than the
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  other or one leads to more abuse than the other.
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  I was saying is that you could like, before you get in too deep
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  to a toxic intimate relationship, you can get out of
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  it. You know, if you notice the
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  signs early on, if you trust your intuition early on, like,
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  this is the red flag. I need my my ass need to bounce.
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  You know you can't just bounce from your parents.
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  So it's just different. It's the it's the traits of
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  narcissists are going to be the same typically across the board.
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  How those traits are expressed is going to be different,
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  different depending on what role that they play in your life.
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  Is this a parent, a guardian, a sister, a sibling, a Co worker?
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  Whatever it is they they how they are expressed is going to
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  be different. They still going to have the
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  same like go look at the go look at the the diagnosable criteria
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  of narcissistic personality disorder.
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  You'll see exactly what I'm talking about, how the traits
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  across the board are going to be the same.
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  It's just how they are, how they are expressed outwardly is going
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  to be different. How they are expressed to the
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  world is going to be different. You know, and that happens.
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  And this is me, I'm trying to help you out, wake you up
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  because like who was the first narcissist that you dealt with?
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  Because a lot of time it's not your partner, you know,
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  sometimes it is the part that you dealt with.
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  Somebody all got raised in great households.
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  You had great, loving, caring parents.
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  You went to college. You graduated high school.
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  Didn't. You didn't have any narcissistic
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  people in your life? No narcissistic friends, family
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  members, Co workers or whatever, you know?
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  But then you get into a relationship.
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  This is the first narcissist you experienced and it could change
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  your yeah, it could change your viewpoint, it could change your
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  life and how things are viewed and whatnot.
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  So This is why we're here, to help out and things like that.
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  Just to help you understand, like understand how it started.
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  Where where is the starting point at?
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  Dig Up the Roots. Digging up the roots can help
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  you get rid of the weed. That's why I say when I say dig
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  up the roots, I'm not mean. Dig up the roots to the the good
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  stuff. Don't dig up the roots to the
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  plant. You know the good part of you.
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  Dig up the roots to the to the weeds.
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  Pull up the weeds by the roots. Who was the first narcissist
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  that I've dealt with? Dig deep because a lot of times
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  it might not be your real romantic part.
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  It could be a sibling. One of your siblings could be
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  narcissistic. You know one of your best
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  friends growing up could be narcissistic.
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  Some of your teachers that you have to depend on to teach you
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  and educate you could be highly narcissistic.
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  You know, refuse to validate you refuse you know make you the
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  target of their abuse. Tech teachers that your middle
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  school, high school teachers, elementary school teachers can
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  do. Sometimes college professors,
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  they can launch smear campaigns on you as well.
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  They can invalidate you. They can spread rumors of smear
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  campaign and things like that. They can rage out on you in
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  class and just make it embarrass you.
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  You know, some of your teachers can be narcissists as well.
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  And that's why I just tell you I'm conveying this point to
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  people because it sucks, you know?
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  But, like, digging up the roots and understanding where you came
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  from help can help you out. Understanding, get back to the
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  beginning, back to the basics. Like, how the hell did I get
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  here? You know, what steps were taken
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  to put me in this position, You know, this precarious position,
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  you know, because nobody wants to be in a toxic election.
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  Well, let me, let me rephrase that.
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  Let me rephrase that because I've talked.
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  I've spoken to people who than they are.
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  Yeah, some of them are toxic. Y'all.
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  Some toxic people do want to be in toxic relationships because
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  they feel like, well, this person understands me.
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  This person gets me. And I also understand that
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  because I've been, I've been in toxic relationship before with a
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  toxic woman. Yes, I was toxic as well.
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  This is not me trying to, I'm not trying to pay the victim.
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  That's what happens. So I realize, so this I want to
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  help as many people as I possibly can climb this ladder
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  of healing and growth because yeah, I want y'all to live the
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  life that you. I want y'all to live the best
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  lives you can, you know? I want you to live the best life
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  you possibly can because it empowers you.
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  It helps you out. You know what I mean?
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  It's just one of those things that I want y'all to heal and
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  grow. You just understand where you
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  came from. Dig up the roots.
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  Who was your first narcissist? Who was it?
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  You know who was the first narcissistic person that you
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  dealt with? Dig it up.
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  You could drop in the comment section.
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  Let's say this is about healing and helping out people right
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  here. Y'all, it's like you dropped the
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  conversation. Who was the first narcissist
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  that you dealt with and how do you think that affected your
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  life? If it was your parent partner,
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  grandparent, your best friend, your cousin, your Co workers?
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  Like I said, your bosses can, your bosses can be narcissist.
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  Your first narcissist you might encounter could be at your first
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  job or your, you know, it could be your boss, your supervisor,
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  you know, the CEO of your company could be highly toxic
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  and narcissistic. You know, So who was the first
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  narcissist and how did it affect you?
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  I think can help. You can help see heal to get out
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  your system, but also helps other people who's like, wow, me
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  too. I like do making friends out.
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  I'm about to start doing this. I'm in the video with this job
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  I'm about to start doing in person and online workshops as
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  well. So I got I got a list of cities
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  and things that I want to do here coming up pretty soon.
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  But like if y'all are interested in having a workshop in the city
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  near you, just drop drop where you are if y'all if y'all see
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  the city that you're already in just like their comment.
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  Just like if it's Atlanta GA I got Georgia on the map,
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  Washington DC, New York City, LA.
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  Those are already on the map. You know Houston TX, Dallas TX,
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  those are on the map. Drop your city if you already
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  seen your city just like it. Y'all I'm planning on my in my
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  in person workshops and stuff like that.
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  Anyways, y'all, let y'all subscribe to the channel, but
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  doing this is our piece. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness rock
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  star and I appreciate you for being here.
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  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
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  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
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  on my playlist. There's also a link available up
• 11:36
  here for you to purchase my kids.
• 11:38
  But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon so check that
• 11:41
  out. Thank you.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.