Latest / Cry It Out Loud: Navigating Infertility, Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Infant Loss & Pregnancy After Loss / Resilience, Science, and Hope: Breaking the Silence Around Infertility with Dr. Roohi Jeelani

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Resilience, Science, and Hope: Breaking the Silence Around Infertility with Dr. Roohi Jeelani · Cry It Out Loud: Navigating Infertility, Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Infant Loss & Pregnancy After Loss

• 0:11
  Crying out loud a podcast by Chasing the Rainbows.
• 0:18
  With your host. Bernice Quisenberry.
• 0:25
  Welcome back to Cry It Out Loud, a podcast by Chasing the
• 0:28
  Rainbows, where we give voice to the stories that often go
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  unheard. Stories of infertility,
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  pregnancy loss, and the journey of rebuilding hope after
• 0:36
  heartbreak. October is Pregnancy and Infant
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  Loss Awareness Month, a time to honor every story and every
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  family whose path to parenthood hasn't gone as planned.
• 0:44
  Because every loss matters. Today, we're honored to welcome
• 0:48
  someone who not only helps families navigate these deeply
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  personal challenges every single day, but who has also walked
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  through her own Rd. through infertility, Dr. Ruhi Jelani and
• 1:01
  Ruhi is a double board certified reproductive endocrinologist and
• 1:05
  infertility specialist and the Chief medical Officer for growth
• 1:09
  and business development. She's widely respected in her
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  field for advancing women's reproductive health and bringing
• 1:15
  empathy and innovation together and care.
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  Today, she joins us to walk and talk about her own infertility
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  journey, what she's learned through science and personal
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  experience, and how compassion and awareness can change the way
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  we support one another through loss and hope.
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  Thank you so much Ruhi, for being here.
• 1:35
  Course, thank you for having me and letting me talk and share my
• 1:39
  journey and story both as a patient and a doctor.
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  It means a lot. Absolutely, and it means so much
• 1:44
  and I can't, you know, let's dive right in and have you
• 1:48
  share, you know, your your journey with everyone to hear.
• 1:52
  Yeah, so I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was very young.
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  I was roughly about 14 when my mom took me to a reproductive
• 2:01
  endocrinologist to figure out what was wrong with me after
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  she'd failed to get answers with a pediatrician.
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  So finally, she decided, let's, let's do this, Let's figure it
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  out. And I remember the doctor walked
• 2:14
  in and said, you know, you're going to need a little bit of
• 2:16
  help. And that stuck with me that I'm
• 2:18
  like, OK, I'm going to need a little bit of help.
• 2:21
  She's like, you're going to pop a pill and it's going to be
• 2:22
  perfect. So I was really not prepared for
• 2:27
  what my journey would entail. It's almost in denial that I, I
• 2:31
  knew the data from just having been through residency and
• 2:35
  learning this day in and day out.
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  But you know, sometimes you see it, but you need to believe it.
• 2:41
  And I was having a hard time connecting the dots, treating
• 2:44
  myself essentially. So I ended up seeing a fertility
• 2:48
  specialist. We started trying after a couple
• 2:52
  years after we got married and not much luck.
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  So we failed a lot of ovulation induction cycles.
• 3:01
  We failed a lot of IUI, had a lot of biochemical pregnancy
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  losses, some miscarriages, and finally went on to multiple
• 3:09
  rounds of IVF before finally having my son good four to five
• 3:15
  years after. Oh wow.
• 3:19
  So geez. I mean years and years and being
• 3:23
  told early on too, as a teenage young woman, you know that this
• 3:28
  is your reality in the future. But also that false hope because
• 3:32
  you take a pill, you'll be fine, everything's going to be great.
• 3:34
  And it wasn't. And, you know, loss after loss,
• 3:37
  it's all that reoccurring trauma that just keeps happening.
• 3:42
  Yeah. And knowing, you know, what's
• 3:44
  happening from a scientific standpoint.
• 3:46
  And this I can't even imagine. Yeah, it was, it was definitely
• 3:50
  hard and it was hard to separate.
• 3:53
  It was easy to keep them separated and not combine them
• 3:57
  because, you know, you just want what you want.
• 3:59
  So like, well, this is, this is what it's supposed to be.
• 4:02
  Like if this is the only missing, I have PCOS.
• 4:04
  So if you're only missing ovulation, then why isn't this
• 4:08
  working? So I, I use that story in that
• 4:11
  journey to really counsel my patients to say, you know, like,
• 4:14
  you never know, like you don't know what happens.
• 4:16
  And it's a probability game when it comes to this, like it's
• 4:20
  truly utilization of numbers and science and data to combine to
• 4:25
  get the solution or hopefully close to answers or help build
• 4:29
  families. Wow.
• 4:31
  Yeah. Now with your journey, how many
• 4:35
  rounds of IVF did you guys have to do to, you know, get to where
• 4:41
  you were? Yeah, well, right now I have 3
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  kids and I've done total 19 cycles, a lot of cycles now
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  consecutively. The reason it took so much
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  longer is because as a patient I took a lot of breaks, both due
• 5:00
  to the emotional, the physical and financial toll it was.
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  We were both really young. We just graduated professional
• 5:07
  schools, You know, I was still in training.
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  My husband was building his firm.
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  So it was. And we moved to Detroit the year
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  Detroit filed bankruptcy. So it was not, it was not a good
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  mix of anything. So that took a long time to.
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  We braced ourselves to, you know, stop, go, start when we
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  were ready. So that journey took a while.
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  Yeah. My goodness.
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  And infertility is often, you know, I talked about clinically,
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  but not in such an emotional, it is such an emotional and
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  isolating experience. How did you navigate the balance
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  between being a physician and also being a patient?
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  It was really easy because I was so young in my career that I
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  automatically kind of checked it off to, you know, better.
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  But on the yeah, but on the other side, I would turn to
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  remember back then, social media wasn't really big.
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  These are now like your early, like your mid 2000s.
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  So I'd be on these Reddit forums and I would literally be like
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  swiping and trying to read people's journeys and like
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  looking at PCOS and what did other people do?
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  And it kind of sucked because I would literally like under the
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  cover hide and my husband, like, Are you sure you're really a
• 6:25
  doctor? Like, what do you do in
• 6:26
  residency? What are you doing?
• 6:28
  Like, how do you not know this? And it's just because, yeah,
• 6:31
  PCOS is so different and so different for everybody.
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  And no one in my family had gone through this.
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  All right? So then, like, people were
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  questioning me, like, like, internally family members, like,
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  what's wrong? We don't have this in our
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  family. It must not be genetic.
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  And then that made me question myself.
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  And I didn't know enough about it to confidently, you know,
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  give a research driven answer. So I was like, well, it must be
• 6:57
  something I'm doing wrong. Let me figure out what others
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  are doing. And then there was not enough
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  information available on the web or data for me to even question
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  my doctor. So I still remember, like, I'd
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  get frustrated, then I would leave the clinic, then I'd get,
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  you know, try again, Then I'd get frustrated, then I would
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  leave to another clinic because I just didn't feel like, you
• 7:20
  know, and I didn't understand what was happening.
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  Yeah, absolutely. And that's, you know, we talk
• 7:25
  about that a lot in support group, finding a clinic, finding
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  a Doctor Who actually listens and hears you and then also is
• 7:31
  willing to try different things or educate you on why not.
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  Because now with social media being so readily available and
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  you know, unfortunately not everything on there is
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  authentic. So, you know, educate and
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  advocate is so great for yourself.
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  But, you know, also, I think trying different things or you
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  know, maybe protocols that are different, you know, based on
• 7:55
  each patient and based on what they're dealing with.
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  Yeah, 100%. Yeah.
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  Is there anything that you tried, you know, during that
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  like different things that you, you tried, you know, during your
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  whole journey that is either different or you know, anything
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  out out of the norm I guess. Yeah, so my, and I would say for
• 8:21
  my son's journey, I kind of just left it up to you guys, tell me
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  what to do and I'll follow suit. Then I had my daughter very
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  spontaneously, my second one and then my last one, I tried a lot
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  of different stuff. So my son, I was at institutions
• 8:39
  and organizations where people weren't willing to kind of like
• 8:43
  this, the textbook this what we follow and if we follow it, it's
• 8:46
  going to work. And if it doesn't work, then you
• 8:48
  need donor egg or look into surrogacy or adoption, which are
• 8:52
  all wonderful ways of building families, but those are really
• 8:57
  expensive. Also, you know, no one talks
• 8:59
  about that financial arm and it financially made it easier to
• 9:04
  continue through fertility treatments, especially just
• 9:07
  given age and time. So my son I had thankfully, but
• 9:13
  I didn't have anything left. I had no embryos, nothing to go
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  back to. So for my even before I started
• 9:20
  treatment, I was like, OK, well how do I get to continue to
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  build my family? What do I do?
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  So I was pumping in between, I was continuing my lifestyle
• 9:30
  modifications. We like we're trying to
• 9:32
  eliminate processed food. We're doing more fruits and
• 9:35
  vegetables. I remember I started saying, OK,
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  if I'm PCOS, this is testosterone driven.
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  Let me cut out my carbs. So I was continuing all of that.
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  And then you know, lo and behold, ovulated and had my
• 9:47
  daughter, which is amazing. But for my very last one, we
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  did, I did a lot of different stuff and she was my 8th.
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  You played transfer and my son was my ninth transfer.
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  So we this time ended up seeing a reproductive immunologist.
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  I ended up doing a lot of immune meds and I I could see it where
• 10:12
  someone would say, well, 9 transfers versus 7 transfers, 8
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  embryos and statistically different.
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  But you know, as a patient, sometimes trying to take that
• 10:23
  control back of what you lose with infertility and trying to
• 10:26
  get answers that that really helped me continue.
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  Like I the duration of treatment and how quickly I went through
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  it was so much easier because I had a plan like I would fail and
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  I had a plan I, I knew I could adjust and fix.
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  And so even if sure statistically someone can argue,
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  well, it took you almost the same number of embryos, My
• 10:50
  emotional well-being was much better.
• 10:53
  I was much stronger knowing that hey, you have the ton and me to
• 10:57
  adjust and course correct and stop.
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  And it really helped. It really helped how I could
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  regain some of that control. And you know, as opposed to put
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  your hands up in the air, there's nothing you can do.
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  Continue if you want to, or just stop.
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  Yeah, I know because a lot of times, you know, you do in the
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  moment you're feeling so defeated because it's just like
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  almost feels like bad news after bad news, but almost hearing it
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  in this way too, you know, correcting it, trying something
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  different, still like hangs on to then having hope in those
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  moments. Yeah, 100%.
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  That was a form of hope. Like maybe if I do something
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  different I'll get closer. Yes, absolutely.
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  Now, so you mentioned to eating more vegetables and fruits,
• 11:48
  toxins, processed food, and I know that you do a lot of
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  research, right? Am I speaking right on that?
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  But yes, I would love for you to talk about that more.
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  This is something and our household that we're really, you
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  know, big into, you know, just processed sugar, processed
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  foods, all of it, and trying to cut it and trying to do, you
• 12:08
  know, fresh as best as as we can.
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  Yeah, yeah. It started actually stemming
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  from PCOS being multifactorial. So it's a little bit of your
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  genetics compounded with exposures and how you know what
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  you eat, how you live your life. And I would say look around and
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  like, although everyone in my family has the same genetics, my
• 12:30
  mom is one of five sisters. Not only did they have their
• 12:34
  kids much younger, but they were raised in India, where you don't
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  have a lot of processed food or preservatives or hormones in
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  your fruits, vegetables, meats. So none of them, although the
• 12:45
  same lineage, had infertility. Same with my cousins and my
• 12:51
  sister. None of them have to experience
• 12:53
  this. And I, when I look at my
• 12:55
  lifestyle and their lifestyle, I, you know, live a really
• 12:59
  stressful life. I'm the only one who decided to
• 13:01
  go to postgraduate schooling and the only one who decided to wait
• 13:05
  till my late 20s, early 30s to have kids.
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  I, in order to stay awake, was doing a lot of like munching on
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  snacks, drinking a lot of sodas, you know, just not mindful of my
• 13:18
  body. So my testosterone levels were
• 13:21
  insane and my egg quality was horrible.
• 13:25
  So that's when I was like, Oh my God, this is a lot of
• 13:27
  environmental variations. That's why I could come from the
• 13:30
  same lineage but be exposed to different things and live a
• 13:35
  different life. And it's going to impact me very
• 13:38
  differently than it's going to impact my sisters or my cousins.
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  And it did, right? Like, no, no one in my family
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  has gone through this. And it's so you can't just blame
• 13:48
  it to your PCOS and your genes. It's a lot of what I've put into
• 13:51
  my body and how I've handled my body.
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  So I ended up doing a war hurt. It's a women's reproductive
• 13:59
  health research grant through the NIH to look at toxin
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  exposure and the impact on that quality, embryo development,
• 14:06
  genetics. And they did that for a couple
• 14:09
  years. So I looked at byproducts.
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  It started initially with chemotherapy exposure, but if
• 14:14
  you actually look at the dry products for the big breakdown
• 14:18
  of chemotherapy, one of them being acrylene is something that
• 14:22
  you find in the air with pollution.
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  You find it with second hand smoke, you find it with
• 14:26
  microplastics, a new microwave, it's that same compound.
• 14:30
  And then there's a dose dependent relationship, right?
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  Like I literally think of that and I look at what I ate in
• 14:36
  college and in Med school. I would take my frozen meals,
• 14:40
  microwave all those plastics, and then eat out of that.
• 14:44
  Yeah, right. And that's what I ate three
• 14:46
  times a day. And I would warm up my coffee
• 14:49
  and my plastic cup, and then I would drink out of that.
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  So it's all of this. And it's cumulative effect that
• 14:56
  it compounds and accumulates over time.
• 14:59
  And I know, and that's the same reason why not only do I
• 15:02
  advocate for living a healthier life and doing stuff that's more
• 15:06
  sustainable. I'm so glad that you mentioned
• 15:09
  earlier that you're starting to try to do this in your family
• 15:12
  because that's important. That's what I tell my patients,
• 15:14
  that this is not going to be an overnight thing, that the more
• 15:17
  you look at this, it's everywhere.
• 15:20
  It's not only in your like your daily shampoo and your face
• 15:24
  washes, but it's in your makeup, it's in your food, it's in your
• 15:27
  clothing, it's everywhere. So make changes that are
• 15:31
  sustainable and slowly start looking at this stuff.
• 15:34
  Not like an overnight, I'm going to eliminate everything because
• 15:37
  it is going to be hard to eliminate.
• 15:39
  Like there's so much exposure to this constantly day in and day
• 15:44
  out. Yes, yes, and I mean how we did
• 15:47
  it very scalable is we started with Tupperware containers and
• 15:51
  we got Pyrex, you know, versus the the plastic.
• 15:54
  And it was all through infertility journey and being
• 15:57
  educated and just doing research and things like that.
• 16:00
  And then also right, like what we drink out of what we, so even
• 16:05
  making our own laundry detergent is actually very easy to do and
• 16:08
  your own dishwashing soap and things like that, you know,
• 16:11
  using organic matters and you know, just doing different
• 16:17
  things that like you're saying is very scalable.
• 16:19
  Or you can even buy and purchase those items already made.
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  I just found for us, it was cheaper and easier for us to do,
• 16:26
  for me to make it with different recipes and things like that.
• 16:30
  But right, it's like, you know, your skins are largest and like,
• 16:35
  what am I putting on my face? What am I exposing my body to?
• 16:38
  Yeah. But definitely agree.
• 16:39
  I think it's so important what you're doing and 100%, you know,
• 16:44
  that's one of the biggest concerns my patients have, that
• 16:46
  it's going to be really hard. It's going to be so expensive.
• 16:49
  But I'm so glad that you brought that up.
• 16:52
  Yeah, yeah. Because it can be scalable and
• 16:56
  you know, we shop at Trader Joe's, it's a you can get a lot
• 16:59
  of organic products in there very cheap compared to, you
• 17:03
  know, other big box stores where, you know, it does cost a
• 17:06
  lot for organic products, but or like finding coupons or you
• 17:09
  know, doing things like that. But there's ways to do it or
• 17:12
  farmers markets and things like that too.
• 17:15
  Yeah. It's so true.
• 17:17
  Yeah, and it's. So it just goes to show you that
• 17:20
  little changes like this can go a very long way.
• 17:23
  Right, right now, what in the immunology space do you work on
• 17:30
  and study within that too? I would love to say that I'm
• 17:36
  well versed in this and I know a little bit more, but there's no
• 17:41
  official fellowship. They're starting an official
• 17:43
  fellowship and I would love to learn more about it.
• 17:46
  And I do think it does play a role with implantation and
• 17:50
  pregnancy loss, especially as we navigate this month.
• 17:54
  It's so important to know that there's still research being
• 17:57
  done, right? The hardest thing as a doctor is
• 17:59
  to say I'm not sure what to do for you it.
• 18:04
  And it sucks because it sucks because I don't want anyone to
• 18:06
  ever think I'm giving up on them.
• 18:08
  And it sucks because I was that patient where they said, well,
• 18:13
  can't do anything else, you know?
• 18:14
  So it's either you try the same thing and continue to lose, or
• 18:19
  you move on to your next and build your family a different
• 18:22
  way. And I don't think there's
• 18:24
  anything wrong with that, but I just wanted to know my why.
• 18:28
  So I did my best to learn the stuff on my own, to understand
• 18:32
  the role of new innovation and how it's applicable to
• 18:37
  optimizing outcome. What can I do differently for my
• 18:40
  patients? What can Ioffer them?
• 18:43
  That may be the solution, and maybe it's not a solution, but
• 18:46
  long as it's not hurting them, why don't I add it on and try,
• 18:50
  right? Like that's what I wanted.
• 18:51
  Like if I'm not hurting myself, why can't we add it?
• 18:55
  And I remember one time really thinking like, if you tell me to
• 18:59
  go lick a toilet, I will. If you tell me to go drink that
• 19:01
  water, I will. I don't care what it is like.
• 19:04
  Help me. Help me figure out my body.
• 19:06
  Help me figure out how I can get where I want to get.
• 19:10
  Absolutely. And I think thoroughly looking
• 19:13
  over everything and looking at labs, looking at genetic
• 19:16
  testing, all of it, it was so important in these in this time
• 19:21
  too. Yeah, and like understanding and
• 19:24
  I know like I Ioffer a mock cycle like understanding your
• 19:29
  like your vaginal microbiome, understanding inflammatory
• 19:33
  markers, understanding antibodies, like there has to be
• 19:38
  a reason they exist, right? It's now let's figure out how to
• 19:42
  interpret them. Absolutely.
• 19:44
  And using them practically to continue, yes.
• 19:50
  Yeah, and it just, it brings me a lot of joy to help solve and
• 19:55
  get my patients where I want them to be.
• 19:58
  And the text messages I get, I mean, that's what keeps me
• 20:02
  going, right? The to be a forever part of
• 20:05
  somebody's life and story is such an honor.
• 20:10
  And just you have that empathetic and, you know,
• 20:13
  passionate heart because you've walked this journey and that's,
• 20:17
  you know, rare to find when we're on it.
• 20:20
  Yeah, yeah, I think it. I definitely think it makes a
• 20:24
  difference. And, you know, I may not be the
• 20:26
  right doctor for everyone, but I really try to help my patients
• 20:30
  understand their, their body, their data, their numbers.
• 20:34
  And I always say we're A-Team, right?
• 20:35
  Like, it's not, I'm not the authority.
• 20:38
  And fertility is such a wild type of medicine, right?
• 20:41
  It's not like, it's not like a high blood pressure, like you
• 20:45
  have this and you take this and I'm going to solve it.
• 20:47
  And like it's completely different.
• 20:49
  It's a little bit of my science, a little bit of hope, and you
• 20:54
  know, a lot of just what your body gives us and can call it my
• 20:58
  magic. So it's literally like a
• 21:00
  combination of the three to come up with the best plan for you.
• 21:05
  And hearing that it's a team because it really does take the
• 21:08
  village, you know, when you're on this, but also, you know,
• 21:12
  having like your future and, you know, your hands and our baby's
• 21:17
  future in your hands. And feeling like, you know, we
• 21:20
  can talk through and really work through anything together and
• 21:24
  ask those difficult questions and also experience the
• 21:27
  difficult losses that can go hand in hand with this.
• 21:30
  Yeah, for sure. And you have to feel comfortable
• 21:33
  with who you're with. And I think you made a great
• 21:35
  point that you know, and not every clinic and not every
• 21:38
  doctor is going to be the right one for you.
• 21:41
  Yeah. So I think, you know, making
• 21:44
  sure that you is it OK to interview doctors and, you know,
• 21:49
  figure out who is a good fit and. 100% And whenever I get
• 21:54
  like I do a lot of Q and as on my social media, I always get
• 21:58
  asked when is the right time to get a second opinion.
• 22:01
  And for me is if you're asking that question, you're already
• 22:04
  starting to doubt your plan of care or where you are and how
• 22:08
  you're feeling. That's that time.
• 22:10
  And as a doctor, I always encourage my patients like, you
• 22:13
  know, get a second opinion, hear it out.
• 22:15
  Because everyone practices this a little bit differently because
• 22:19
  we don't have and you also don't want the bread, Bread and
• 22:22
  butter. This is your age.
• 22:23
  This is what we do because everyone's body is different.
• 22:25
  We're all built a little bit differently.
• 22:29
  Absolutely. And that is extremely important
• 22:31
  that you're looked at not just as the number and statistic, but
• 22:33
  you're looked at individually. And I love how you said that
• 22:36
  even earlier too in the conversation, Like, let's look
• 22:38
  at your numbers. Let's look at you as an
• 22:40
  individual and then come up with your protocol, you know?
• 22:44
  Yeah, 100%. It's so important and no doctor
• 22:47
  should get offended with a second opinion.
• 22:49
  I know I encourage it and I know my friends do too.
• 22:53
  You know, this is our guys a very small world, as I'm sure
• 22:55
  you see, we all know each other, we love each other.
• 22:59
  And I don't, you know, I think there's, we just want what's
• 23:03
  best for our patients. Right.
• 23:06
  And what's even interesting is too, if you do get a second
• 23:08
  opinion and they give you the same feedback that you had from
• 23:13
  your previous doctor, then it's like, OK, we're in line.
• 23:15
  Great. Like, I just feel better and
• 23:17
  reassured that what we're about to do and what we're about to
• 23:20
  invest in because, you know, sometimes you are maxing out
• 23:22
  credit cards, you are taking out second mortgages, You are, you
• 23:26
  know, doing everything in your power to afford these services
• 23:29
  if they're not covered in your state or by your employer.
• 23:32
  So you know you're going to those extremes and you want to
• 23:35
  make sure that you are putting your best foot forward and
• 23:38
  controlling what you can in those moments, but also feeling
• 23:40
  confident in it. Yes, for sure, 100%.
• 23:43
  I think that is so important. Yeah.
• 23:49
  So what were, you know, some of the challenges and emotions that
• 23:55
  you didn't expect to experience when you were on your own
• 23:58
  journey and now have helped your patients with?
• 24:02
  Yeah, I think the most challenging part was
• 24:05
  relinquishing control. I'm a control freak and I, yeah.
• 24:11
  And I, I know my own weaknesses. Like I, it was so hard for me to
• 24:16
  be like, OK, I just have to wait it out.
• 24:18
  And even with like, I still remember this is so eye opening.
• 24:22
  When I was first doing ovulation induction and design wise, and I
• 24:27
  remember I was like, but why isn't it working?
• 24:29
  Like I see my lining, I see my follicle, I see the sperm, I see
• 24:32
  where you're putting it. We're following all the steps.
• 24:36
  And why isn't it working like over and over and over again?
• 24:40
  And I remember my doctor literally saying like, hey,
• 24:43
  remember when I told you that this is only like 15% success?
• 24:47
  And I was like, yeah, but I see it.
• 24:49
  And he goes, yeah, he's like, I'm going to flip it now.
• 24:52
  It's there's an 80 to 90% chance this is not working.
• 24:57
  And I was like, oh, and I was like that like, you know, it was
• 25:01
  so crazy because he, he just thought he said the same thing,
• 25:04
  but he said it a different way. And I was like, wow, that makes
• 25:08
  so much more sense. Like the odds are not in my
• 25:10
  favor, right? And it, I couldn't get it
• 25:13
  because once again, the control freak in me was like, but I'm
• 25:17
  doing everything I'm supposed to and I'm following what I'm
• 25:19
  supposed to do. And I see it.
• 25:21
  And you almost have to be right. Like in school, you're like, you
• 25:25
  do XYZ. This is how you, where you get.
• 25:27
  And that's why I think it's so important to remember fertility
• 25:31
  is a combination of variables and not just your normal
• 25:36
  medicines, especially like for a surgeon where you like cut and
• 25:39
  you get the end result immediately.
• 25:43
  That's not, that's not what it happens when it comes to your
• 25:45
  fertility journey. And I think that was the hardest
• 25:47
  thing as a patient to you can put all the effort and
• 25:52
  unfortunately it's it's not you, you're not causing this.
• 25:55
  Yeah, that's such a great reminder.
• 26:00
  Goodness, You know, looking forward, what gives you hope for
• 26:04
  the future, for reproductive medicine and the families you
• 26:08
  serve? Innovation.
• 26:11
  I love new stuff. I love being able to tell my
• 26:16
  patients that there's more that you haven't done because I hate
• 26:20
  it when somebody told me, sorry, you've done everything and
• 26:25
  you're that's it. Like keep trying and I get it,
• 26:29
  it's a probability, but give me something different.
• 26:32
  Tell me that there's going to be a break to breakthrough.
• 26:34
  Tell me that, you know, whatever it is, that there's hope for
• 26:38
  more and like you sent you some bit so perfectly earlier that it
• 26:42
  gives you hope. So for me, innovation equals
• 26:46
  opportunity and hope for those who are starting to lose it.
• 26:49
  Wow. Amazing it was just and it's
• 26:54
  really comforting to hear that we're not just staying here,
• 26:57
  right, We're not just stagnant as a society.
• 27:00
  You know, doctors like we're going out doing research finding
• 27:05
  because I think something hard too when you're experiencing the
• 27:08
  losses alongside and hearing, you know, you lost an early term
• 27:12
  baby and you know, the medical terms like chemical pregnancy,
• 27:15
  all those things. But in the end it's a baby and
• 27:19
  it's like that, you know, hits the family hard.
• 27:22
  And when there's not a reason why you lost the baby,
• 27:26
  especially reoccurring pregnancy loss and you look at that and
• 27:29
  that's a part of infertility and not getting those answers.
• 27:32
  It can be. It's so hard because the chain
• 27:34
  blame and guilt that us birthing people hold on to Yeah for.
• 27:41
  Sure, like always reflecting. Like I wish I could go back.
• 27:45
  I wish I could have done it differently.
• 27:47
  You know that soft blame game is horrible.
• 27:50
  Yes, absolutely. What would you like to leave our
• 27:54
  listeners with? One piece of advice.
• 27:58
  Yeah, if I would, if I could leave with one piece of advice
• 28:02
  it that not, not every journey looks the same, whether it's you
• 28:08
  comparing yourself to your friend or your first baby to
• 28:12
  your second. Every journey is different.
• 28:15
  And to give yourself grace because I was really, I remember
• 28:21
  like every time I was like, what did I do wrong?
• 28:23
  What could have done differently?
• 28:24
  And you know, your friend circle or society or anybody doesn't
• 28:29
  really help. Like are you sleeping?
• 28:30
  Are you eating? Are you working too hard?
• 28:33
  You know, so it it's not you, right?
• 28:36
  Think of all everything outside of this infertility world.
• 28:41
  It's so hard to finger point. So it's really nothing that
• 28:43
  you're doing and you'll get there.
• 28:46
  Everyone's journey looks different.
• 28:49
  Ruhi, thank you so much for being on here today, for sharing
• 28:53
  your journey, your experience, you know, in this field and it
• 28:58
  just, it means so much to hear from you.
• 29:00
  So thank you. Of course, thank you for having
• 29:03
  me. Absolutely, you know, to our
• 29:07
  listeners, whether you're in the middle of your own fertility
• 29:09
  journey, grieving a loss, or standing beside someone who is,
• 29:12
  please know that you are not alone.
• 29:14
  Chasing the Rainbows is here for you every step of the way.
• 29:17
  Visit babylossawareness.org to learn more about Every Loss
• 29:20
  Matters campaign, community resources, and daily support
• 29:24
  offerings for anyone living with infertility, any type of
• 29:27
  pregnancy loss, and infant loss. Because every loss matters, and
• 29:30
  so does every story. Thank you so much again for
• 29:33
  being here Ruhi, have a great day.
• 29:36
  Thank you.