Latest / MyMaine Birth / 80. Embracing the Unexpected, Stacie's Journey to Motherhood

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80. Embracing the Unexpected, Stacie's Journey to Motherhood · MyMaine Birth

• 0:00
  Stacie: Growing up there was a huge fear on giving birth and being pregnant, whether that came from school and what the schools taught.
• 0:08
  Stacie: You know that lack of education.
• 0:10
  Stacie: Also the media and the movies and the news talking about birth, and then I also think my mom and my community not really going into the details of birth, really talking about all the minute details of the options you have, what it's actually like to experience it Everyone's just like, oh, it was awful or oh, it was really hard, it was traumatic, like you hear all these big buzzwords but they don't actually break it down of why it went that way for them.
• 0:39
  Stacie: You know they don't talk about their actual experience from start to finish.
• 0:43
  Stacie: And so I actually had a huge fear of pregnancy and birth and I've had many friends that say you know, I want kids but I don't want to be pregnant.
• 0:53
  Stacie: You know, I don't want to give birth.
• 0:55
  Stacie: That sounds awful to me and that's how I felt.
• 0:58
  Stacie: I was terrified.
• 0:59
  Stacie: But through that education of exposure with my friends and then also watching home births on YouTube was huge.
• 1:07
  Stacie: I was like people can do that, like that's not just in the 1800s, 1900s, like people can have a successful home birth and it not be like scary or you know that fear factor of it so that was a huge thing for me is like I can have the potential to have an alternative from just a hospital birth.
• 1:29
  Angela: I'm Angela and you're listening to my Maine Birth, a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine.
• 1:40
  Angela: State of Maine, from our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated.
• 1:50
  Angela: Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
• 2:03
  Angela: Welcome to episode 80 of my Maine Birth.
• 2:10
  Angela: Today's birth story guest is Stacey.
• 2:11
  Angela: She is a fellow photographer and mother located in the Midcoast Maine area.
• 2:13
  Angela: Her website is summercinemacom, so go check her out and I'm so excited to have her here today to share all about her main birth story.
• 2:24
  Angela: Hi, stacey, welcome to my Main Birth.
• 2:27
  Angela: Hi Hi, thanks for taking the time to chat with me.
• 2:31
  Stacie: Yeah, I'm really excited.
• 2:33
  Stacie: I love podcasts, so I am excited to be a part of one and get to be a part of this one, something that I experienced and I'm super passionate about.
• 2:45
  Angela: Awesome.
• 2:45
  Angela: Well, to get started, will you share a little bit about you and your family?
• 2:51
  Stacie: Yeah, so I am 25 years old, I'm originally from Southern California and I moved to Maine almost two years ago.
• 3:00
  Stacie: I met my husband on Bumble, the dating app, and we got married two weeks later, which is a huge part of our story Always gets a big shock value.
• 3:12
  Stacie: And then, after we got married, we got pregnant a few months later, and now we have a daughter that is almost 10 months old.
• 3:22
  Stacie: I do photography and I do video, so that's how I first heard about you through the photography space, and I just thought that's so cool that you combine two things that you're passionate about.
• 3:36
  Stacie: I'm also really passionate about photography and birth, and so it's just really cool that you have this podcast, and I'm excited to share my story my birth story, specifically, because I have always been super passionate about birth Ever since I was in my 20s and I had friends starting to give birth and I started to get more educated.
• 3:59
  Stacie: I always loved asking all my friends about their experiences and what they wanted to do.
• 4:01
  Stacie: I always felt out of place though their experiences and what they wanted to do.
• 4:04
  Stacie: I always felt out of place, though, because I never experienced it myself.
• 4:08
  Stacie: So definitely a huge transformation, actually experiencing pregnancy and birth, which I'm excited to get more into.
• 4:17
  Stacie: But yeah, that's my story.
• 4:18
  Stacie: I am not originally from Maine, I am from away.
• 4:21
  Stacie: I have been imported here, transplanted, and so, yeah, oh my gosh.
• 4:27
  Angela: Where did you move from?
• 4:29
  Stacie: I moved from Orange County, california, so I was in a very suburban area.
• 4:34
  Stacie: I was 15 minutes from the ocean, lots of people all around.
• 4:39
  Stacie: So, coming to rural Maine, I not only live in Maine, but I live in rural Maine.
• 4:44
  Stacie: We have no neighbors that we can see there is.
• 4:49
  Stacie: We live by a river, lots of cows, farmland crops all of that 25 minutes to the grocery store.
• 4:56
  Stacie: So definitely a very big culture shock and change to what it was like with everything at your disposal in SoCal.
• 5:06
  Angela: Yeah, so what brought you to Maine?
• 5:09
  Stacie: So I grew up coming here.
• 5:11
  Stacie: My grandmother was one of those people that would summer here.
• 5:16
  Stacie: She was from New Jersey.
• 5:17
  Stacie: Her parents bought a piece of property and they bought it on a pond, so they would come here in the summer.
• 5:24
  Stacie: My dad then came here in the summer, even though they moved out to California, and so it was just this family tradition.
• 5:31
  Stacie: My parents now own the property and I always loved it, but I only ever came to Maine in the summer, so I always saw it.
• 5:39
  Stacie: You know, when it's in its glory, everything's green, it's warm, you can go in the pond, there's lots of activities, and I knew that I didn't want to live in California permanently just because you can't really own property or land.
• 5:53
  Stacie: Like I said, it's expensive, lots of people, traffic.
• 5:56
  Stacie: So with all that, I took a chance.
• 5:58
  Stacie: Since I do photography, it was a very, very fluid industry where I can do it anywhere.
• 6:04
  Stacie: Obviously you have to build client base, so that was a concern.
• 6:08
  Stacie: I had a big community at home, but I was 23 at the time when I moved.
• 6:13
  Stacie: So it was like, if not now, then when.
• 6:15
  Stacie: The longer I stay, the more roots I'm going to plant in California, and so it's just going to get harder if I'm like 28, doing it in five years.
• 6:23
  Stacie: So I said I'm going to take a leap of faith, I'm going to move.
• 6:28
  Stacie: I didn't know if it would be permanent or not.
• 6:30
  Stacie: My family's cabin our camp, as we call it in Maine is only for the summer.
• 6:36
  Stacie: It's not winterized, there's no insulation.
• 6:38
  Stacie: So I had until October to figure out if I was going to stay long-term, find a more long-term property here to rent out, or if I would go back to California, if I would go down South.
• 6:50
  Stacie: But after a month of being here I met my husband and the rest was history.
• 6:55
  Stacie: So a lot of people in California thought I would be coming back and I had to break the news to them that I am a Mainer now.
• 7:02
  Stacie: It's been a very big culture shock, to say the least.
• 7:05
  Stacie: But yeah, it's been, it's been a fun ride, wow.
• 7:10
  Angela: I love that so much.
• 7:11
  Angela: So now will you share a little bit about when you found out you're pregnant and your thoughts in choosing your care.
• 7:18
  Stacie: Yeah, oh, wow.
• 7:19
  Stacie: I love talking about this because we got pregnant two and a half to three months after we were married.
• 7:26
  Stacie: We went on our honeymoon then in Europe and that's when I got pregnant.
• 7:32
  Stacie: I actually am very in tune with my body and so I knew that I was pregnant before I took a pregnancy test.
• 7:38
  Stacie: My period was always, you know, like a regimented cycle.
• 7:44
  Stacie: I always started my period and so I knew, since we were like kind of planning to have a kid you know we weren't.
• 7:51
  Stacie: We're kind of seeing what happens so I was like, well, it's a potential miss my period, so I don't really need to take a test.
• 7:58
  Stacie: I know I'm pretty much pregnant.
• 7:59
  Stacie: I also started to get nauseous.
• 8:02
  Angela: Yeah, that's so cool how you can like be so in tune with your body and you're just like.
• 8:06
  Angela: I know that I'm pregnant.
• 8:09
  Angela: But I'll just take a test just to confirm.
• 8:12
  Stacie: Yeah, we did take a test eventually when we got back to the States, but it was very anticlimactic, you know.
• 8:18
  Stacie: You see all those pregnancy reveals taking the test, am I pregnant?
• 8:22
  Stacie: Am I not Telling you know?
• 8:24
  Stacie: Know your partner, your husband?
• 8:26
  Stacie: None of that happened.
• 8:28
  Stacie: For us it was like we're just take as a formality, but we both pretty much knew that I was pregnant.
• 8:36
  Stacie: So, uh, kind of funny in that regard not having that big, you know, pregnancy experience, and so then when we got home, it was kind of seeing what there was in Maine, seeing what midwives are out there, that's the route that I wanted to go.
• 8:51
  Stacie: I wanted to do a midwife, so I did research on Google finding out the local midwives and finding out that they do within an hour of their location.
• 9:01
  Stacie: They don't want to be too far away.
• 9:02
  Stacie: So since I live in a more rural area, that was kind of a contingency of who I could choose as care.
• 9:09
  Stacie: I interviewed about three of them and I decided on Morgan.
• 9:15
  Stacie: I don't know if you've heard of Morgan Titus, but I love her and I have many mutual friends that have chosen to use her as well that I've come to find out, and so I guess she's kind of like a local legend in the area.
• 9:28
  Stacie: But yeah, it was really hard to decide because I interviewed some great midwives.
• 9:33
  Stacie: But one thing that kind of put her over the edge is she's also a naturopathic doctor.
• 9:39
  Stacie: She does family care, so you're kind of born into her practice.
• 9:43
  Stacie: So that was a huge thing.
• 9:45
  Stacie: I didn't want to have to find a family doctor afterwards and I know they're not very common around here.
• 9:51
  Stacie: What I keep hearing is like the good doctors whether it's, you know, a normal doctor or a dentist or eye care they're hard to get into their practices because they're always booked out.
• 10:01
  Stacie: And that's the case with Morgan.
• 10:02
  Stacie: You have to be born into her care right now because she is booked out.
• 10:04
  Stacie: And that's the case with Morgan.
• 10:05
  Stacie: You have to be born into her care right now because she is booked out.
• 10:06
  Stacie: So that's what set her over the edge, even though she was a little bit more expensive.
• 10:11
  Stacie: And I loved Leslie.
• 10:12
  Stacie: Leslie was the second one on my roster.
• 10:15
  Stacie: She actually was the second midwife, which was really cool that Morgan allowed me to have input on my second midwife.
• 10:23
  Stacie: So yeah, that's kind of finding out that I was pregnant and then choosing care and that was kind of the early first trimester process of it all Choosing midwife was already solidified in my head.
• 10:35
  Stacie: It wasn't something that I had to decide between.
• 10:37
  Stacie: I knew that I wanted to have a midwife, based off of the research that I had done prior and yeah, so that was a huge thing for me.
• 10:44
  Stacie: I know some people have to kind of the research that I had done prior and yeah, so that that was a huge thing for me.
• 10:46
  Stacie: I know some people have to kind of come to that conclusion, but I knew that I wanted to have a home birth.
• 10:50
  Stacie: That was the goal.
• 10:51
  Stacie: So choosing a midwife that would support me in that.
• 10:56
  Angela: That's so great that you already had that and your partner was on board to you with that whole plan.
• 11:01
  Stacie: Yeah, that's actually was kind of a deal breaker In my mind.
• 11:05
  Stacie: I was dating I know we only did it for two weeks before we got married, but I'm pretty sure I'm like my first or second date with him I was like, yeah, so like this is what I would want, I want to have a home birth, because I have heard of people's partners being concerned about that, you know, and having some reservations or fears or pushback.
• 11:27
  Stacie: So that was something that I really wanted to make clear because I didn't want to have that tension with that.
• 11:33
  Stacie: But no, he was super supportive of it and was like, yeah, like that sounds good to me.
• 11:37
  Stacie: He also kind of has a similar mentality of not loving the medical institution in America, not loving hospitals and the conventional doctors.
• 11:46
  Stacie: So we align very much on that.
• 11:48
  Stacie: So it was very much the same page from the get-go For my history.
• 11:55
  Stacie: I wanted to say this part because I felt that a lot of women could relate to this.
• 11:59
  Stacie: Especially in America Growing up, there was a huge fear on giving birth and being pregnant, whether that came from school and what the schools taught.
• 12:09
  Stacie: You know that lack of education, also the media and the movies and the news talking about birth and then I also think my mom and my community not really going into the details of birth, really talking about all the minute details of the options you have, what it's actually like to experience.
• 12:28
  Stacie: Everyone's just like, oh, it was awful or oh, it was really hard, it was traumatic.
• 12:32
  Stacie: You hear all these big buzzwords but they don't actually break it down of why it went that way for them.
• 12:39
  Stacie: They don't talk about their actual experience from start to finish.
• 12:43
  Stacie: And so I actually had a huge fear of pregnancy and birth and I've had many friends that say you know, I want kids but I don't want to be pregnant.
• 12:54
  Stacie: You know, I don't want to give birth.
• 12:55
  Stacie: That sounds awful to me and that's how I felt.
• 12:58
  Stacie: I was terrified.
• 12:59
  Stacie: But through that education of exposure with my friends and then also watching home births on YouTube was huge.
• 13:07
  Stacie: I was like people can do that, like that's not just in the 1800s, 1900s, like people can have a successful home birth and it not be like scary or you know that fear factor of it.
• 13:19
  Stacie: So that was a huge thing for me is like I can have the potential to have an alternative from just a hospital birth.
• 13:28
  Angela: Yeah, it can be really eye opening when you start to come to that realization after being ingrained with all of the fear and conditioning and programming, and then it's like, wait a minute, that's all a lie.
• 13:42
  Angela: You're just like, wow, like this can be, like really cool and really awesome and really amazing and powerful.
• 13:49
  Angela: And you're just like, yeah, start to hear the stories from the other women that are, you know, saying the same things.
• 13:55
  Angela: It's like going against what all of the programming and conditioning like and you know that fear that can be ingrained in so many.
• 14:03
  Angela: You know, I definitely felt like that when I was younger with my first like going into it, like it was scary, you know, but it's really just like the conditioning, you know, and it's like when you change your mindset around it and you hear other positive stories, it can just be so, you know, kind of change your mindset on it and just give you a sort of peace going into it, right, like so how are you feeling then throughout your pregnancy?
• 14:27
  Angela: Like with your mindset as you were navigating pregnancy.
• 14:31
  Stacie: Yes, I love that you asked that because I do think your mindset going into and experiencing pregnancy is huge.
• 14:37
  Stacie: I will say I did a lot better than I thought I would five, 10 years ago.
• 14:42
  Stacie: Like I said, there was a debilitating fear around it.
• 14:46
  Stacie: I've always had a medical phobia.
• 14:48
  Stacie: I would get panic attacks when I was younger anything talking about medical stuff, watching it or experiencing myself.
• 14:55
  Stacie: I've made huge strides through exposure therapy, going to actual therapy and just kind of slowly integrating myself.
• 15:03
  Stacie: So I did a lot better throughout the pregnancy than I would have projected.
• 15:09
  Stacie: But I would say it was very difficult for me.
• 15:12
  Stacie: I had a lot of nausea in the beginning.
• 15:15
  Stacie: The first trimester was hard and just very fatigued, couldn't eat that much.
• 15:22
  Stacie: Second trimester kind of the stereotypical flip of no more nausea anymore, lots of energy, but it was winter.
• 15:30
  Stacie: I had my child in June, so second trimester was the dead of winter, Can't really do anything.
• 15:36
  Stacie: I'm also in my first year of being in Maine so I don't have a lot of friends or outlets or support system.
• 15:43
  Stacie: So that was also very difficult, missing California.
• 15:49
  Stacie: And then I would say the third trimester is where it really took a turn.
• 15:52
  Stacie: There was a lot of heavy stuff happening or weighing on me for the third trimester.
• 15:58
  Stacie: So I'm sure you probably have heard of this, but if anyone listening has not, I have a negative blood, so the Rh negative blood type, so the RhoGAM shot was a big thing looming over me.
• 16:14
  Stacie: I knew that before I got pregnant.
• 16:17
  Stacie: That would be something to consider.
• 16:19
  Stacie: My husband has a positive blood type, so I knew that it was like a 50-50 chance that our children could have either positive or negative.
• 16:29
  Stacie: I did so much research, I listened to podcasts, I read articles.
• 16:34
  Stacie: I was trying to soak up as much as possible to really have an informed decision and it weighed really heavy on me decision and it weighed really heavy on me.
• 16:50
  Stacie: But ultimately we decided to get this shot for a number of reasons.
• 16:52
  Stacie: One we want more children.
• 16:52
  Stacie: So if you're just having one child, you don't have to worry about your future children with the blood mixing, because even though it's a low percentage with, like you know, there has to be a traumatic event for yours and the baby's blood to mix, either like a car crash or something happening in birth.
• 17:07
  Stacie: But ultimately we didn't want to take that gamble.
• 17:11
  Stacie: My husband and I discussed that and so it was also a confirmation, even though I felt like a lot of anxiety over it.
• 17:17
  Stacie: I actually missed the chair and fell on my butt the day before I was supposed to get the shot, so I was like this is kind of confirmation for me, to give me that peace that this is the right decision, even though, like she was fine, my daughter was fine with the fall and everything.
• 17:35
  Stacie: But it still was that extra reassurance for me.
• 17:40
  Stacie: But it is a heavy decision.
• 17:41
  Stacie: You know, I even called the manufacturers and tried to get information about the shot even more, because it is at least from my knowledge they did a lot of studies back in the 50s and 60s, but they haven't really revisited it.
• 17:57
  Stacie: So to me, that's what frustrates me about modern medicine in general is a lot of these studies on pregnancy happened 50 years ago and we've advanced so much with our technology and medicine, so it was like how much of this applies to today.
• 18:15
  Stacie: So, anywho, I mean I could rant on that forever.
• 18:19
  Stacie: But another thing that happened in my third trimester was my daughter was transverse for a minute and so obviously, having a transverse baby, you can't have a home birth, and so, luckily, I started doing inversions on the couch, like leaning over or doing the side lying stretches and she moved.
• 18:39
  Stacie: In a few days she flipped around.
• 18:42
  Stacie: She must have been a really active baby, which she still is to today.
• 18:45
  Stacie: She was just constantly moving then and she's constantly moving now.
• 18:48
  Stacie: Doesn't want to sit still.
• 18:49
  Stacie: So she flipped.
• 18:51
  Stacie: And then I went to the chiropractor, which I would recommend for anyone that's pregnant.
• 18:55
  Stacie: All my pregnant friends I'm like go to the chiropractor, especially in your third trimester.
• 19:00
  Stacie: Work on opening up your pelvic area and just get some relief because your back's going to hurt.
• 19:06
  Stacie: Everything's uncomfortable, especially that last month.
• 19:09
  Stacie: So I went to the chiropractor once or twice a week for about a month until I gave birth.
• 19:13
  Stacie: So the third trimester was just a lot of things happening all at once and I was very uncomfortable, as most people who are pregnant are.
• 19:23
  Angela: Yeah, I know a lot of people go back and forth on whether they want to get the RhoGAM shot or not.
• 19:28
  Angela: In Europe, the recommendation is to receive it after birth, but there is a lot of pressure in the US and even Canada to receive it while pregnant and it's a pretty hot topic because there really aren't a lot of studies or information on it anywhere, and especially on the potential risks to the baby that could be associated with essentially having other people's blood injected into the mother's body while pregnant, which I think is why it's recommended to have the shot after birth in other countries, because there is almost no information on how the RhoGAM shot affects the baby.
• 20:01
  Angela: Sarah, that's interesting.
• 20:02
  Angela: You called the manufacturer and you still can't get any information Like, come on, no, they literally just read the insert.
• 20:08
  Stacie: They the person that I called was literally just reading the thing that I could get online.
• 20:13
  Stacie: I got no more clarification and at that point I was like I'm just gonna make my decision and have hope and faith that this is the right one.
• 20:23
  Stacie: You know, with anything there's pros and cons to everything, and that is hard.
• 20:27
  Stacie: I'm very, very naturalistic, I'm very holistic, I don't like modern medicine and I think that's one of the biggest things about being pregnant and giving birth is you really have to surrender a lot of stuff and you can't be so dogmatic and so black and white.
• 20:42
  Stacie: I mean, I have such a different perspective now after giving birth than I did beforehand.
• 20:50
  Stacie: You can be so judgy, like prejudgy of people.
• 20:54
  Stacie: You're like why did you decide to do that?
• 20:56
  Stacie: I would never do that.
• 20:57
  Stacie: And then it happens to you and you see that things are not so one or the other, that there's so much gray and everything is so personalized.
• 21:09
  Stacie: Which is what I really believe in is personalized health care, which is, I think, why I naturally don't like hospitals, is because they see things through a lens of one size fits all.
• 21:21
  Stacie: You know, we have to do this one thing for everyone, just to be safe, instead of actually hearing each individual case, because what works for one person and their specific situation doesn't necessarily work for the 99 other people in the room.
• 21:36
  Stacie: So that is a huge thing that I learned through giving birth, and talking about my actual birth story definitely comes in to play.
• 21:45
  Angela: Yeah, that's a really great point.
• 21:47
  Angela: So did you do any other testing throughout your pregnancy?
• 22:00
  Stacie: So I did very, very minimal.
• 22:00
  Stacie: I didn't do any blood tests in the beginning.
• 22:01
  Stacie: I know there's not like 10 week blood tests that a lot of people do.
• 22:03
  Stacie: You can find out the gender early.
• 22:04
  Stacie: They do a a lot of like.
• 22:05
  Stacie: I know they do a lot of like sexually transmitted disease blood tests and that I passed on that.
• 22:10
  Stacie: I did one ultrasound, um in 20 weeks to find out the gender and also to do um initial anatomy scan.
• 22:19
  Stacie: And then I did blood for rogam, because they have to make sure that you actually have the negative blood type.
• 22:29
  Stacie: The hospital wants to do their own.
• 22:31
  Stacie: I want to say I did a blood type blood test there as well for something when I honestly don't remember, and then I did two ultrasounds at the end.
• 22:41
  Stacie: I did one when she was transverse or we thought she was transverse, and then I did one the day that I actually went into labor.
• 22:50
  Stacie: So talking about my labor story in a second.
• 22:53
  Stacie: But yeah, I did very minimal.
• 22:56
  Stacie: I didn't even do the the like drink I don't know what you call it the glucose drink, the one really disgusting drink that everyone talks about.
• 23:03
  Stacie: I did.
• 23:03
  Stacie: I did like what a diabetic does.
• 23:05
  Stacie: I did a certain type of meal in the morning and it took my blood like a diabetic person would do.
• 23:13
  Stacie: So I tried to do everything as natural as possible and do as minimal as possible.
• 23:18
  Stacie: I was like I don't need to do it.
• 23:19
  Stacie: If it's not 100% necessary then I'm not going to do it.
• 23:22
  Stacie: I don't want as little intervention as possible.
• 23:26
  Stacie: I talked with my midwife about everything.
• 23:28
  Stacie: We talked about all the reasons why you do it, why you don't do it, alternatives and the whole nine yards.
• 23:34
  Stacie: So that was really great.
• 23:36
  Stacie: I love that about my midwife is that we really had a lengthy discussion about everything and nothing felt forced.
• 23:44
  Stacie: That's something I'm very big about is choose a healthcare provider that you have that mutual respect and relationship with, that you can have a dialogue and you don't feel pressured to do anything.
• 23:57
  Stacie: Because when you're acting out of that coercion or fear, then you're not going to be happy with your decisions because you're not making them of your own free will.
• 24:08
  Angela: Yeah, totally All right.
• 24:11
  Angela: So now will you share with me kind of those final few days leading up to your, when your labor started and about your birth?
• 24:19
  Stacie: Yeah, I love hearing people's like what was the last three days before you gave birth?
• 24:23
  Stacie: So I was about 41 and a half weeks, depending on what scale you go off of.
• 24:32
  Stacie: So the prescribed scale is off of like someone's 28 day cycle.
• 24:36
  Stacie: So if you went off of that, then I was 41 weeks and six days before I went into labor.
• 24:44
  Stacie: But I had a longer cycle.
• 24:46
  Stacie: My cycles were between 30 and 32 days, so I don't think I was that far along.
• 24:51
  Stacie: If you off of my own personal cycle, I think I was more like 41 weeks and three days, but anywho I was over 40 weeks.
• 24:59
  Stacie: It was getting towards pushing 42.
• 25:03
  Stacie: So I was at the point where I was like I'm willing to try anything.
• 25:09
  Stacie: So we saw an acupuncturist I have never seen an acupuncturist before, but we did that on Thursday June 22nd and then I also did some homeopathic remedies to try to start labor.
• 25:27
  Stacie: I do not remember off the top of my head what they're called, but they're like tinctures that you take.
• 25:31
  Stacie: We went and got them based off of my midwife's suggestions ultrasound just to check on my baby, the fluids, you know, placenta, just check on everything and the people at the hospital were like if you were our patient, we would, you know, recommend you get induced today, and I was like I'm not ready to be induced right now.
• 26:03
  Stacie: I'll come back on Monday.
• 26:03
  Stacie: And so it was kind of like go time.
• 26:05
  Stacie: It was Friday in the morning and castor oil was something that I didn't really want to do, but it was like my last ditch efforts to start labor naturally.
• 26:16
  Stacie: So I know it's very controversial do castor oil, don't do castor oil.
• 26:21
  Stacie: But we did it and it worked.
• 26:24
  Stacie: So, whether you should or shouldn't do it oil, but we did it and it worked.
• 26:28
  Stacie: So, whether you should or shouldn't do it, at least for me it worked.
• 26:31
  Stacie: And I took it around noon on Friday, and then I started to have diarrhea, as it does, and then two hours later my water broke, contraction started, and then, by six o'clock that night, my midwife came over.
• 26:45
  Stacie: So then labor has started.
• 26:48
  Stacie: So those were the days leading up.
• 26:50
  Stacie: I thought that my daughter would never come.
• 26:52
  Stacie: I was like I am so pregnant.
• 26:55
  Stacie: My original due date was between June 10th to June 14th, so I thought she maybe would come early.
• 27:03
  Stacie: And so, as every day after June 14th passed, I was like I can't believe.
• 27:08
  Stacie: We are already at June 22nd.
• 27:10
  Stacie: We're already at June 23rd.
• 27:12
  Stacie: I thought I would have a baby by now.
• 27:14
  Stacie: Why do I not have my daughter here?
• 27:16
  Stacie: So yeah, so that is leading up to labor.
• 27:21
  Angela: Yeah, when you go overdue you're often like I'm going to be pregnant forever, like you just hit that point, like it's just never going to end.
• 27:29
  Angela: It feels like right.
• 27:31
  Stacie: Yeah, exactly.
• 27:32
  Stacie: And then it's starting to get hot and you're just getting even more uncomfortable and you can't really do much.
• 27:38
  Stacie: You have to pee all the time and you're just waddling around, and so it is definitely an experience to be going late.
• 27:48
  Stacie: When people tell me that they had their daughter or their son, their child at like 38 weeks, 39 weeks, I'm like oh must be nice.
• 27:56
  Angela: Oh my gosh, yeah Right, yeah, no, share with me a little bit more like about like your mindset going through like that day, like the labor was started and how things kind of unfolded.
• 28:06
  Stacie: Yeah.
• 28:07
  Stacie: So I took a pregnancy class, which was really helpful about breathing the different types of breaths that you do when you're in early labor versus late labor.
• 28:18
  Stacie: I created a playlist.
• 28:21
  Stacie: I chose a home birth because I wanted it to be very well natural, being one of them, but also very homey.
• 28:28
  Stacie: You know you're at home and you have the relaxation aspect of it.
• 28:32
  Stacie: You have the two people that you chose to be your care providers.
• 28:36
  Stacie: You know I had gone to know Morgan really well at that point and I felt very safe with her, very comfortable, and so that was huge for me.
• 28:46
  Stacie: I got to, you know, roam around the house, I got to be in bed when I wanted to be in bed and then I got to, you know, we set up the tub.
• 28:56
  Stacie: So the tub got set up around 10 o'clock that night and so we got in the tub pretty quickly and that was just instant relaxation.
• 29:07
  Stacie: My mindset was like, you know, it's just warm, it takes the load off.
• 29:13
  Stacie: I thought I was going to have her super quick.
• 29:15
  Stacie: So I feel like my mindset was really good in the beginning because things were progressing really fast.
• 29:20
  Stacie: I was like she's gonna come at like midnight, 1 am, 2 am, definitely by6 am, I'm gonna have a baby, y'all you know like I thought that's how it was gonna go.
• 29:31
  Stacie: So my mindset was pretty good, energy was relatively up, but yeah, so I was at six centimeters at midnight.
• 29:41
  Stacie: I believe the second midwife came at midnight.
• 29:44
  Stacie: I thought I was going through transition because I threw up and so I was.
• 29:49
  Stacie: Yeah, that's why I thought things were happening.
• 29:50
  Stacie: But I do think getting in the tub a little too early in my opinion slowed things down because it relaxed me so much.
• 29:59
  Stacie: I really saw labor slow down throughout the night and time is such a weird warp, you know, you have no idea what's happening.
• 30:08
  Stacie: Obviously it's dark out, so that is an indicator of nighttime, but then all of a sudden it's daylight and you're like, wow, that much time has passed.
• 30:16
  Stacie: I probably spent about an hour to an hour and a half in the pool going through contractions and would spend like 30 minutes to an hour outside the pool back in the bed, and it was just kind of a nice routine.
• 30:28
  Stacie: So I felt like there was a rhythm to my labor at that point and I had my music playing and so my playlist was playing.
• 30:38
  Stacie: And then my team was great Morgan and Leslie were just like perfect duos working with each other.
• 30:44
  Stacie: One of them would like feed me a fruit and then give me a sip of water and and like give me some electrolytes.
• 30:50
  Stacie: And the other one would like be like wiping cold towels on my forehead or like helping with, like my back and they would just switch off and I don't know.
• 31:00
  Stacie: It was just amazing.
• 31:01
  Stacie: But yeah, the morning is when my labor really slowed and it was kind of like what can we do to progress it?
• 31:09
  Stacie: So I took some homeopathic tinctures to kind of help labor come along.
• 31:15
  Stacie: I went outside to get fresh air, it was daylight, I threw up again and more water broke, so's like okay, maybe things are happening again.
• 31:26
  Stacie: You know, I see some glimmers of progression.
• 31:29
  Stacie: But then we, I walked around some, I would do some squats, but at that point was pushing like 9 am and I had a lot of pain and the pain was increased and at that point I was nine centimeters.
• 31:44
  Stacie: And so, being nine centimeters, lots of pain, being in labor for a long time, exhausted throughout the night, and I think at that point I had a slight blood pressure increase, a slight fever increase or not increase, but like a slight fever and so there was just so much a little things again, like my water had broken a while before.
• 32:05
  Stacie: So with all of that, we decided to switch to the hospital around 10 am, which was hard in the sense that I wasn't really mentally prepared for that or physically prepared for that either, trying to scramble to get things together that we needed.
• 32:25
  Stacie: But I was ready.
• 32:27
  Stacie: At that point I was like I need relief, I need, like I need, an epidural basically no epidural.
• 32:34
  Stacie: That's why we were going to the hospital was to get that relief, also have the best outcome of having a vaginal birth and not, you know, eventually becoming an emergency or whatnot.
• 32:46
  Stacie: So we live about 40 minutes from our hospital.
• 32:50
  Stacie: So that drive was awful.
• 32:52
  Stacie: It was like contraction Okay.
• 32:56
  Stacie: Breathe how much longer?
• 32:58
  Stacie: Okay, 15 more minutes, that's X amount of more contractions.
• 33:01
  Stacie: Okay, I think I can make it like just push through one, get through the other.
• 33:06
  Stacie: You know we'll be there eventually.
• 33:07
  Stacie: So that was definitely an experience.
• 33:10
  Stacie: And then, getting there, I was in a wheelchair and it felt like the longest wheel to the maternity ward, to the labor and delivery, and they were like, okay, can you get up, and so we can weigh you.
• 33:25
  Stacie: And I was like, ok, can you get up and so we can weigh you, and I was like no, I'm not getting up, I'm in so much pain.
• 33:29
  Stacie: Just get me to a room, me, that girl.
• 33:31
  Stacie: So I'll pause there for now, if you have any questions, before I get into the hospital aspect of it.
• 33:37
  Angela: Yeah, oh, my goodness.
• 33:39
  Angela: So which hospital did you end up transferring to?
• 33:42
  Stacie: We went to Augusta, yeah, so I had been to Augusta for the ultrasounds, for the blood work, and so I had a familiarity with Augusta and we kind of live smack dab in the middle of like three to four hospitals where the difference is like five to 10 minutes.
• 34:01
  Stacie: So we chose Augusta because that was the recommendation of my midwife.
• 34:06
  Stacie: Everyone that I know has had maybe they haven't had bad experiences, but they have heard of bad experiences at Penn Bay.
• 34:14
  Stacie: So sorry to shout out the Rockland Hospital, but my midwife told me that if I had the choice not to go there, I've heard other people you know around town say not to go to Penn Bay.
• 34:26
  Stacie: So I was like, yeah, we'll go to Augusta.
• 34:29
  Stacie: I've heard good things about Augusta.
• 34:30
  Stacie: I've had positive, positive experiences.
• 34:33
  Stacie: I really like the layout of the hospital.
• 34:35
  Stacie: It doesn't feel.
• 34:35
  Stacie: It doesn't feel like a hospital.
• 34:38
  Stacie: Really.
• 34:38
  Stacie: It has great interior design and I think how something is decorated has a huge impact on the atmosphere, your mood, the ambience of it all.
• 34:48
  Stacie: So, yeah, so I went to Augusta.
• 34:51
  Angela: Yeah, so how were you received there?
• 34:55
  Angela: Was everybody welcoming?
• 34:58
  Angela: Like you know, a lot of times, like the hospital, staffs are really great, especially when people transfer from a home birth because they know it's not your primary plan, it's against your birth plan, but they're still like pretty supportive usually.
• 35:09
  Angela: Is that your experience?
• 35:11
  Stacie: Yeah, I would say that, and that's a huge reason why I felt comfortable going to Augusta is Morgan had had a lot of transfers because she works in that area mostly and so she's had transfers to Augusta and she said they're usually pretty positive and, like you said, welcoming and receive you.
• 35:30
  Stacie: Well, I will say that I.
• 35:33
  Stacie: So it was Saturday at this point, so I went to labor on a Friday, but it was Saturday morning that I went in and I will say, with being on the weekend you don't get as good of staff.
• 35:44
  Stacie: If you can plan your birth, anyone, have your child on a weekday, because you don't have the random on-call midwife who is working a 48-hour shift that weekend and that is the only midwife on call.
• 35:59
  Stacie: So it's like you get what you get, don't throw a fit.
• 36:03
  Stacie: She was a little bit older and a little bit more just kind of curt and very much seemed kind of at the end of her ropes for the day.
• 36:13
  Stacie: So that definitely had an impact on my experience.
• 36:16
  Stacie: She wasn't awful, but definitely not as pleasant as could be.
• 36:21
  Stacie: You could tell that she was kind of overwhelmed and approached things from a more medical perspective.
• 36:28
  Stacie: So yeah, I would.
• 36:30
  Stacie: That would be like the one thing I would say about the weekend is it's not as ideal.
• 36:34
  Stacie: I didn't know that going into a hospital, but experiencing a weekend birth, I can tell that it's different than a weekday yeah, so was Morgan able to go with you.
• 36:45
  Stacie: So she, morgan, came with me and the second midwife, leslie, actually was amazing.
• 36:51
  Stacie: She cleaned up our home.
• 36:52
  Stacie: So she stayed back and put the tub away, packed it all up and did everything at home.
• 36:59
  Stacie: Morgan came with us and was there and then she went home for a time because I had the epidural which was going to allow me to rest.
• 37:10
  Stacie: I didn't really get to sleep because in a hospital you're not really going to sleep that well.
• 37:14
  Stacie: There's beeping machines, people come in to check your vitals.
• 37:18
  Stacie: You know the random doctor comes in to ask you questions.
• 37:21
  Stacie: So I probably didn't really sleep that much, but I did get rest.
• 37:25
  Stacie: So while I was resting, morgan went home to like shower and take a nap and then I was going to call her if things, you know, started up again.
• 37:33
  Stacie: So I had the epidural, which was amazing.
• 37:36
  Stacie: I instantly felt relief.
• 37:38
  Stacie: I was like so thankful for that, even though I didn't initially want it.
• 37:43
  Stacie: And then they gave me Pitocin, even though I didn't initially want it.
• 37:45
  Stacie: And then they gave me Pitocin which was, you know, just supposed to help progress labor.
• 37:54
  Stacie: So I am at the point where I was like I'm willing to surrender everything except a vaginal birth.
• 37:58
  Stacie: You know, like that was my end all be all.
• 38:01
  Stacie: I was like if I have to transfer to the hospital for whatever reason, I can handle that.
• 38:07
  Stacie: If I have to have an epidural or come to the point where I want an epidural, that's fine.
• 38:13
  Stacie: But I really just wanted to have a vaginal birth and, spoiler alert, I did.
• 38:19
  Stacie: So.
• 38:20
  Stacie: I am so thankful.
• 38:21
  Stacie: I praise God every single day for that.
• 38:24
  Stacie: But it was definitely a journey.
• 38:26
  Stacie: So I got to the hospital at 11, had the epidural by one o'clock and then at five o'clock the on-call hospital midwife came in and was like we need to have the baby now, like you need to start pushing.
• 38:38
  Stacie: The other doctor, like the OBGYN, is mad at me for not having you have the baby yet.
• 38:44
  Stacie: Gyn is mad at me for not having you have the baby yet.
• 38:50
  Stacie: And I was like whoa, like I was resting, like what's going on?
• 38:51
  Stacie: This is like zero to a hundred.
• 38:52
  Stacie: I'm not just going to push on a dime, like what is going on.
• 38:54
  Stacie: I want to wait for Morgan to come back.
• 38:56
  Stacie: So I was like I'm waiting for Morgan to come back.
• 38:59
  Stacie: So I gave Morgan a call and she came over.
• 39:02
  Stacie: So around six o'clock is when I started to push, which was also kind of bittersweet, because that's when the nurses did the switch, the changing of the guard.
• 39:12
  Stacie: They work a 12 hour shift, so 6am to 6pm.
• 39:16
  Stacie: So the nurse that I had experienced at the hospital that I loved I don't remember her name, I'm so sorry nurse, but I loved her she had to leave right before I started pushing and then I got this random nurse Um, and you're or he's just so many people.
• 39:31
  Stacie: That's one thing that I really hated about the hospital is there's so many random people coming in and changing shifts and you get used to one person and then they're like, okay, bye.
• 39:41
  Stacie: So yeah, I started pushing at six.
• 39:44
  Stacie: We tried the side where I would lay on my side and push and then we would switch to the other side, but ultimately I like flying on my back the most, which I know is like of least resistance at that point.
• 39:56
  Stacie: So yeah, I pushed for three and a half hours, which did not feel that long.
• 39:59
  Stacie: But you know, again, time is just not the concept.
• 40:13
  Stacie: You're like pushing, resting, pushing.
• 40:15
  Stacie: I mean, again, I felt like she was never going to come.
• 40:17
  Stacie: I was like, are we any closer?
• 40:19
  Stacie: Oh well, she's making progress, but not quite.
• 40:22
  Stacie: And I was just so determined.
• 40:25
  Stacie: I was like in the zone I want her to come.
• 40:30
  Stacie: So finally, well, I will say before that, the pediatrician started to come in.
• 40:35
  Stacie: You know, they have like a whole team just for the birth to happen, which I didn't know about.
• 40:40
  Stacie: So there's already like the nurses, there's like probably two nurses, the midwife, and then there's like three or four pediatric doctors and nurses that come in.
• 40:49
  Stacie: So there's probably like 10 people in the room, including Morgan and my husband, and it was definitely like really, this is like the most intimate moments.
• 40:59
  Stacie: And there was a guy doctor and I don't know why, out of everything that happened during my labor and delivery, that this is the thing that felt the most invasive to me.
• 41:10
  Stacie: And yeah, so he walked in and he was just like dead eyes right in front of me.
• 41:18
  Stacie: He was towards the back of the room but like I locked eyes with him and I probably just gave him the dirtiest look like what are you doing here?
• 41:24
  Stacie: Like I do not want a male guy that I've never met watching me give birth.
• 41:30
  Stacie: And then after a few minutes he moved over to the side so I couldn't see him.
• 41:34
  Stacie: But yeah, I just felt like so exposed and so vulnerable at that point and so much had already gone wrong and I had to let it go of.
• 41:44
  Stacie: And I'm in an environment I didn't want to be in with people I've never met before and you know, birth is such an intimate thing, it's such a vulnerable thing and so, yeah, after the birth, that was like one of the hardest things to kind of process with it all.
• 42:02
  Stacie: So, yeah, that's my hot take take.
• 42:04
  Stacie: I've never heard anyone else mention that when they talk about their birth, but for me that just felt so uncomfortable yeah, no, I actually hear that all the time.
• 42:15
  Angela: People say you know, yeah, yeah that, because it really is like such a vulnerable time and you know, when there's people that you're not comfortable with and they're standing right between, like your legs, you know it's like come on, like really, like this is not OK and it's just it's traumatizing.
• 42:34
  Angela: You know, like afterwards.
• 42:35
  Stacie: It is.
• 42:36
  Stacie: I mean, I'm a pretty, I'm a pretty conservative, modest person.
• 42:40
  Stacie: The only people that have seen me naked and seen my vagina were people that I gave permission to, that I wanted to, that I consented to, and so it is just pretty jarring to have that be exposed and I'm glad you have other people that say that, because I haven't had that.
• 43:06
  Stacie: So I felt kind of alone in that of just being like, yeah, I've just felt so on display and it just one.
• 43:15
  Stacie: It's just like not necessary.
• 43:17
  Stacie: I mean, luckily it's not an OBGYN, but hot take, I don't understand why males are OBGYNs.
• 43:23
  Stacie: It's just like kind of seems creepy and perverse to me.
• 43:28
  Stacie: Go be a male doctor and deal with penises and prostates and all of that Like why are you trying to look at women's vaginas every single day?
• 43:33
  Stacie: But anywho, it's like you've never given birth, you don't have a vagina.
• 43:37
  Stacie: What can you contribute to this other than just medical knowledge?
• 43:41
  Stacie: You know, other than just what your textbook says?
• 43:45
  Angela: So, yeah Well, I mean, really they're surgeons.
• 43:51
  Angela: You know OBGYNs are trained surgeons and I think that's sometimes easy to forget when you're just like, oh I'm pregnant, let me go to the doctor.
• 43:54
  Angela: Quote, unquote.
• 43:55
  Angela: You know, it's like you're going to a trained surgeon.
• 43:58
  Angela: You know, like you should really be seeking out, like wise woman, care.
• 44:01
  Angela: And it's hard sometimes too, because even if you do have a female doctor, when you go into labor it's really whoever is on call.
• 44:08
  Angela: So like you could have a female doctor but end up with a male doctor delivering.
• 44:13
  Stacie: I really don't think enough people realize that because I have so many friends that are like, oh, I like my OBGYN and I'm thinking, well, just because you like your OBGYN doesn't mean they're going to be there for your birth, like, hopefully they will, but it's not guaranteed.
• 44:32
  Stacie: So, yeah, I will say.
• 44:33
  Stacie: Another thing I forgot to mention about my birth, leading up to being in labor, is I had a pediatric doctor come in in the afternoon talking about antibiotics, because I had broken my water the day before and I had never gone antibiotics before.
• 44:46
  Stacie: So I really really didn't want to, but she was pushy but also had a conversation, like she was willing to have a conversation with me but still had that pushy edge that doctors do.
• 45:01
  Stacie: But I didn't feel disrespected, like she really approached me from a human level, of understanding that sometimes antibiotics are overused and conceding to that.
• 45:12
  Stacie: And so I ultimately talked to my husband and my midwife, morgan, and I made the decision to get the antibiotics because I would rather get it while I'm pregnant than the off chance possibility that my daughter would need it as a newborn.
• 45:27
  Stacie: I know that she's still getting it like because she was still inside of me, but and at that point, like I said I was at the point where I was willing to concede almost anything as long as I was able to have a vaginal birth.
• 45:40
  Stacie: I just really didn't want to get to the point where they're like we need to have a C-section, you know.
• 45:44
  Stacie: So I was willing to concede pretty much everything as long as I could have a vaginally.
• 45:50
  Stacie: And I am so thankful for that Because I've had friends this past year that were pregnant this year with me, that had emergency C-sections and I mean talk about traumatizing.
• 46:02
  Stacie: You know they had postpartum depression after.
• 46:05
  Stacie: You know their partners thought they were going to die when they were having the C-section and just everything horrible that you can imagine happening happening.
• 46:17
  Stacie: So I am thankful for that that I was able to have my daughter vaginally, because it doesn't happen for everyone, even if you want a natural birth going into it.
• 46:28
  Stacie: So I will say that intervention comes after a cascade of things.
• 46:33
  Stacie: So you know you innocently go in to get induced and that can lead to potential problems because you are trying to start something that maybe is not ready to be started yet and so if you're trying to get your baby out and your baby's like I'm not ready to come yet, you know they're going to potentially be in distress and it's putting your body in distress.
• 46:55
  Stacie: And so I will say, looking back at my birth, I don't regret doing the castor oil, but to a degree that is still inducing, even if it's more natural, but to a degree that is still inducing, even if it's more natural.
• 47:09
  Stacie: And I do often wonder what I have had the transfer to the hospital if I didn't do it.
• 47:12
  Stacie: But I don't really like to play the what if game because I'm a Christian, I trust God, I trust the Lord, so I ultimately can't sit in that what if?
• 47:23
  Stacie: What could have been, what should have been?
• 47:24
  Stacie: It happened the way it was supposed to.
• 47:26
  Stacie: And I think that's where you get the most peace is you kind of let go of that control and fear and you just surrender to your experience.
• 47:35
  Stacie: But I don't want to negate anyone that has had a birth that they didn't expect, because that's one thing I always hated to hear when I was pregnant is you know whether you have to have a C-section or whether you have to transfer to the hospital.
• 47:49
  Stacie: At least you have your baby, you know?
• 47:51
  Stacie: Like at least you're both healthy and it's like okay, yeah, like ultimately that's, that's the outcome we all want.
• 47:59
  Stacie: But don't just say that to skate over someone's pain, to skate over someone's trauma, you know, just sit with them.
• 48:06
  Stacie: And the fact that they didn't want a C-section or they didn't want to transfer to the hospital, they didn't want X, y or Z, like that in itself can be very traumatizing and can affect your mental health.
• 48:18
  Stacie: So, yeah, you may be alive, but how is your body doing with a major surgery like a C-section?
• 48:21
  Stacie: But how is your body doing with a major surgery like a C-section?
• 48:26
  Stacie: Or how is your body doing with the mental aspect of, maybe, postpartum depression?
• 48:30
  Stacie: Like, don't just slap a Band-Aid on someone's pain by saying, well, you're both here.
• 48:37
  Stacie: So that's another hot take that I have that I always hated hearing.
• 48:59
  Angela: Yeah, and it can be really, really hard because you know you think you're doing all of the research and you're preparing for a home birth and then a lot of mothers, I think, get to the point in pregnancy or labor where your midwife may start thinking about the limits of their transfer to might think of them if they wait longer, given all of the guidelines.
• 49:08
  Angela: So all of those things going on can be why a lot of mothers get pressured to do what could, to some, be considered dangerous.
• 49:15
  Angela: Interventions like taking castor oil, to quote unquote naturally start labor, even though that's totally still an induction method, and a rather unpleasant one at that, since it's causing stomach spasms and diarrhea and it also dehydrates you, which is a way that it causes contractions.
• 49:31
  Angela: It's just madness when, if you really reflect on it, you said your cycle was more of a 32-day cycle and these calculations were based on a woman with a 28-day cycle.
• 49:42
  Angela: So what if you were really not as far along as they guessed that you were?
• 49:47
  Angela: What if the ultrasounds were wrong?
• 49:50
  Angela: You weren't allowed the time and peace at the end of pregnancy that is so essential and you had all of this pressure to have the baby just because all of these other things that had nothing to do with you or your body or labor, or your birth or your baby.
• 50:05
  Angela: So that can be so hard and I think a lot of people don't realize the outside forces that are at play?
• 50:12
  Stacie: Yes, definitely, I definitely knew that going into it.
• 50:15
  Stacie: I'd heard that from a lot of people is, you know, a hospital is protecting their bottom line.
• 50:21
  Stacie: They are protecting their.
• 50:23
  Stacie: They don't want to get sued and so, just like they are protecting themselves with the decisions they make, so is a licensed provider who does home births and I talked about that with Morgan very early on.
• 50:36
  Stacie: She's like these are the things I can do and these are the things that I can't do based off of my license, like I don't want my license to be revoked.
• 50:44
  Stacie: So I knew that from the get go that there were certain parameters for her.
• 50:48
  Stacie: I believe that she has done a few past 42 weeks so she was comfortable and I'm pretty sure in the state of Maine you can still have a home birth up until 43 weeks.
• 50:58
  Stacie: So I knew that that was possible and I definitely know that ultrasounds can be wrong.
• 51:03
  Stacie: I've heard so many stories of you know people thinking they're going to have a 10 pound baby and they're having, you know, a seven pound baby and they think the fluids are this but it's actually something else.
• 51:15
  Stacie: So I definitely knew that going into everything and I think for me it was what are the risk analysis.
• 51:24
  Stacie: How much am I comfortable pushing towards?
• 51:28
  Stacie: I definitely was ready to have her.
• 51:31
  Stacie: I kind of both my husband and I were like we just want to get her out at this point.
• 51:36
  Stacie: So I will say that, although there was a little bit of that outside influence from the hospital and other things, I ultimately still felt like I got to make my own informed consent decisions, which I will say doesn't happen for everyone and that is obviously really sad to hear stuff like that People getting induced at like barely past 40 weeks and things like that.
• 52:05
  Stacie: But yeah, I think another thing was I wasn't home birth or bust.
• 52:10
  Stacie: I might've been that way in the beginning of pregnancy, but throughout pregnancy I think my mindset definitely did shift of.
• 52:20
  Stacie: It doesn't have to be all or nothing.
• 52:22
  Stacie: I will do what's best for me and the baby in the moment and I will be open to that.
• 52:30
  Stacie: So yeah, I think that I went in wanting to have a home birth and preparing for that and doing the best that I could in the moment to have a home birth, but ultimately things happened and they shifted and going into the hospital was the best thing and actually after I gave birth and we were in the um, the motherhood section, and I was so thankful because I had never had a baby before and my husband, god bless him but he passed out after and so all throughout the first night because I had her at like nine o'clock at night, so the first, you know, 10 hours were through the night he was passed out.
• 53:15
  Stacie: So my real support was the nurses and I had an epidural so I was recovering after that.
• 53:22
  Stacie: I was also so weak because I had been in labor, for I was in labor for 30 to 32 hours total and then I also tore, and I tore pretty significantly, which is another thing I didn't want to happen, but I think I was a little too well one.
• 53:38
  Stacie: I know that being on your back and having an epidural can increase your chances of tearing, but also, at the end I was kind of a little too gung-ho and I know that I didn't give myself time to really push slowly as they recommend, you know, not just like pushing all at once.
• 53:54
  Stacie: So, anywho, I tore a lot.
• 53:55
  Stacie: So I was very weak and it was hard to get in and out of the bed and I was.
• 53:59
  Stacie: You know, I had no idea what to do with a newborn.
• 54:02
  Stacie: So I will say that was very nice about being in the hospital is I had a button I could press if I needed a nurse for anything.
• 54:10
  Stacie: So I am thankful for that.
• 54:11
  Stacie: I think it would have been quite a hard first couple of days if I was not in the hospital.
• 54:18
  Stacie: But yeah, and I got meals, I don't know, it was just, it was very nice.
• 54:21
  Stacie: I was very underprepared for the postpartum aspect of it, of how much you actually need help and getting that all in place.
• 54:29
  Stacie: So and I'd never done it before, I think you know your second, your third kid it becomes easier.
• 54:34
  Stacie: So yeah, it was a crazy experience.
• 54:38
  Stacie: I will say I am very naturalistic.
• 54:41
  Stacie: I did get pushback from the pediatric doctor for refusing shots.
• 54:46
  Stacie: He gave me his best sales pitch and it's so hard.
• 54:50
  Stacie: I will say that you are so vulnerable and if I had not done further research, I was so exhausted it's like I don't even want to talk about anything right now done my own research and was made up my mind.
• 55:08
  Stacie: It's so easy to get swayed.
• 55:09
  Stacie: Even my husband, who we've had discussions with about this, was like, oh, like, let's, let's talk to morgan and hear her opinion.
• 55:13
  Stacie: Like you know, he was kind of getting swayed by the pale doctor because they just come out with so much fear.
• 55:19
  Stacie: They're like your baby's gonna die and if you don't do this, there's a one in 700 chance that your baby could die.
• 55:26
  Stacie: You could have that baby.
• 55:28
  Stacie: You know, as a father myself, I would get the shot, and they're just doing the absolute most, and so it is really hard to say no if you aren't already so firm in it.
• 55:42
  Stacie: So when I have friends that are like, hey, I might do the research, I don't know how I feel about it.
• 55:47
  Stacie: I'm like, okay, well, you're probably just going to give in if, if you are in the moments because you're just kind of over everything and you just want people to leave you alone and you're like, can you just go away?
• 56:00
  Stacie: Like God bless the hospital administrative lady.
• 56:03
  Stacie: But she kept coming and being like, can you sign these papers?
• 56:06
  Stacie: And I'm like not right now, I'm breastfeeding, come back later.
• 56:09
  Stacie: Are you ready to sign it now?
• 56:10
  Stacie: No, not now, come back later.
• 56:12
  Stacie: I was like shooing people away.
• 56:15
  Stacie: I was like give me a minute.
• 56:16
  Stacie: My gosh, I just had a baby.
• 56:18
  Stacie: Like this is just paperwork, and that's another reason why I didn't want to give birth in the hospital.
• 56:22
  Stacie: I just wanted to be left alone.
• 56:24
  Angela: Yeah, you should not have to be filling out paperwork right after you have a baby.
• 56:28
  Angela: You should be soaking in all of you know, those new baby moments and just so much that you just, yeah, like the paperwork can wait until you know the end of this day.
• 56:38
  Stacie: Yeah, yeah, exactly, and yeah, so I would say as well.
• 56:45
  Stacie: What was nice is they had a lactation consultant come in, so that was good.
• 56:49
  Stacie: They were very pro breastfeeding.
• 56:51
  Stacie: I know not every hospital is like that, but at Augusta they were very good at helping me breastfeed.
• 56:57
  Stacie: I didn't even use a pump and they never pushed pumping on me or anything like that.
• 57:02
  Stacie: But it was so funny it became a joke.
• 57:05
  Stacie: Our clock was broken in our hospital room and every single new doctor, nurse, intern, everyone you know they take so much time, you know they're like checking breathing, and they look up at the clock and they like kind of look back at their watch and they're like, oh, the clock's broken, we should have someone go fix that.
• 57:24
  Stacie: And we were in the hospital for two days and by the end and they're like, oh, the clock's broken, we should have someone go fix that.
• 57:25
  Stacie: And we were in the hospital for two days and by the end we're like you know what?
• 57:29
  Stacie: We're leaving in like a few hours, it's fine, like our clock's broken, you know, or like we'd have to tell them.
• 57:34
  Stacie: It just became a joke.
• 57:36
  Stacie: It's like, yeah, our clock's broken, but it was also nice.
• 57:39
  Stacie: They helped just make sure that you were ready to leave, that you had things in place, that you felt comfortable leaving.
• 57:47
  Stacie: You knew how to like strap your kid into the car seat, which you know if you've never done it.
• 57:51
  Stacie: You're like I don't know what I'm doing and they made me walk out.
• 57:55
  Stacie: They didn't wheel at Augusta and they were like yeah, like helps you know to walk versus wheeling, and I was like walking so slow and I was a huge hospital.
• 58:06
  Stacie: I was like I don't wish I had a wheelchair, like so that was my birth experience.
• 58:11
  Stacie: Start to finish super, not expected.
• 58:14
  Stacie: But yeah, I, yeah it was.
• 58:18
  Stacie: It was wild, wild experience.
• 58:20
  Stacie: I did not expect it at all.
• 58:22
  Stacie: It was so surreal.
• 58:23
  Stacie: The oxytocin after you give birth is incredible.
• 58:26
  Stacie: Nothing like it.
• 58:28
  Stacie: You're just so surreal.
• 58:30
  Stacie: Can't believe it just happened on cloud nine.
• 58:33
  Stacie: And then another thing I didn't know is when you breastfeed, your uterus contracts.
• 58:38
  Stacie: So you have like that cramping, contraction, pain again and I was like I, I already gave birth.
• 58:43
  Stacie: Why am I having more pain?
• 58:45
  Stacie: And but it makes sense, your uterus has to go back to how it was before.
• 58:49
  Stacie: But yeah, I, I would say that the first month after having her was the hardest to adjust to, but I had, I had pretty good support, with my parents staying for six weeks, really good breastfeeding support, and I feel like that is huge because the transition afterwards is huge, not just for you but for your husband as well, like both of you have a huge life adjustment, and having good support and just taking it easy, really focusing on you and your baby and fighting through the hurdles of adjusting to breastfeeding was a huge thing, and I'm still breastfeeding to this day.
• 59:27
  Stacie: So I'm very thankful for that, because I know not everyone can get to that milestone.
• 59:33
  Angela: Yeah, that's great.
• 59:35
  Angela: So I do have one question.
• 59:37
  Angela: You mentioned, like during your birth, when you had started pushing, like you were kind of resting and resting, and then the midwife came in and she said the OB was like mad at her and you had to start pushing.
• 59:50
  Angela: That's kind of insane.
• 59:52
  Angela: Just for the record, Okay, thank you.
• 59:55
  Stacie: Thank you, you also felt that that was crazy.
• 59:59
  Stacie: I mean I was just like what?
• 1:00:01
  Stacie: Uh, yeah, it was, it was wild.
• 1:00:04
  Stacie: I mean even Morgan was like, yeah, the on-call midwife was a little something.
• 1:00:08
  Stacie: I don't think she had ever worked with her before.
• 1:00:11
  Stacie: But, yeah, the midwife at the hospital was a little bit older and, like I said, just felt kind of it, like I said, the end of her ropes and she apparently was getting pushback from the OBGYN doctor on call for the decision she was making, and then I guess that pressure on her as a midwife was then trickling down to me and, yeah, it was, yeah, not fun and you want to be.
• 1:00:40
  Stacie: That's what I hate about giving birth in the hospital is you feel like you have to be compliant, because you almost feel like a prisoner, you know.
• 1:00:51
  Stacie: You know like you're at their whim of their things and, like I said at that point, I just didn't want them to walk in and say we're gonna need to have a c-section, you know, and feel like I was locked into a corner.
• 1:01:05
  Stacie: So I was like, okay, you know, just just trying to comply.
• 1:01:13
  Stacie: And I never wanted that and that's why I didn't originally choose to have a hospital birth because I didn't want any of that.
• 1:01:23
  Stacie: I didn't want to have to fight people.
• 1:01:24
  Stacie: I don't want to have to fight people.
• 1:01:25
  Stacie: I don't want to have to push back.
• 1:01:26
  Stacie: You know, there's all those empowering stories of like I was in the hospital and I had the birth I wanted, because I advocated for it.
• 1:01:33
  Stacie: I had a natural birth, everyone listened to me, it was perfect, it was beautiful.
• 1:01:37
  Stacie: But I feel like that's rare.
• 1:01:38
  Stacie: I feel like if you're not on their timeline, if you're not progressing at the rate that they want you to, then they're going to try to push along their path.
• 1:01:52
  Stacie: And yeah, and I do think that when you're at that vulnerable state, you don't want something to go wrong you, with their expert advice of X, y and Z, can go wrong.
• 1:02:07
  Stacie: You don't want to take that chance because you don't want to risk your life or your baby's life.
• 1:02:10
  Stacie: So I think that that is a huge aspect of it as well.
• 1:02:13
  Stacie: I mean, I've heard stories of people's water breaking and can go like three days before giving birth and everything's fine, and I think that most people probably can do that.
• 1:02:24
  Stacie: But when your hormones are so high, you think of that 1%, that 2%, that 5%, and you just don't want that to be you and so, yeah, it's, it's pretty wild and there's so much unknown and I think that that's what scares doctors is, like you said, with ultrasoundsounds there is so much that even that can't tell you about pretty much anything.
• 1:02:48
  Stacie: You know they can tell you that your baby has a certain birth defect and they come out with no birth defect and things like that.
• 1:02:54
  Stacie: So there's so much unknown and doctors are not, and just people in the medical field in general don't like the unknown, they like things that they know, they like their statistics and that's why I do feel like a lot of OBs go straight to C-section when anything is a wrinkle in the system.
• 1:03:13
  Stacie: You know, when anything kind of goes awry a little bit to the natural course is because a C-section is predictable, it is controllable, it is surgery.
• 1:03:22
  Stacie: You know.
• 1:03:23
  Stacie: So they can, their hands are controlling it.
• 1:03:26
  Stacie: When you, a woman, are giving birth naturally or vaginally, then they just kind of you know it's not medical, you know it's.
• 1:03:35
  Stacie: You're not sick when you're pregnant.
• 1:03:38
  Stacie: It is a natural thing that your body does.
• 1:03:41
  Stacie: Yes, things can happen.
• 1:03:42
  Stacie: There are reasons why you may want to be in a hospital If you're high risk for certain things.
• 1:03:47
  Stacie: You know, there's definitely a place for medical intervention, but it doesn't have to be the norm and I think a lot of my friends and a lot of people I know choose to give birth in a hospital from the get-go because of the what-ifs.
• 1:04:03
  Stacie: You know, what if my baby needs to go to the NICU?
• 1:04:06
  Stacie: What if I have to have an emergency C-section?
• 1:04:09
  Stacie: What if this, what if that?
• 1:04:10
  Stacie: I'd rather just already be at the hospital, just in case.
• 1:04:14
  Stacie: But I think there's also a potential of you being at the hospital causing you to have a ripple effect if things happen because of all those pressures, because of all that intervention, because of all that stress.
• 1:04:29
  Stacie: Yeah, and I said a lot of cervical checks.
• 1:04:33
  Stacie: Like even when I was in labor, I did consent to, I think, like two cervical checks.
• 1:04:37
  Stacie: Like I said one at 10 o'clock when I thought I was in transition and then one right before I went to the hospital, because I know that also can affect things.
• 1:04:46
  Stacie: So, yeah, just, it's just crazy to think about birth and all of it.
• 1:04:54
  Stacie: So I'm a I'm a long-winded person, I talk a lot.
• 1:04:59
  Angela: I've really enjoyed hearing your perspective on all of these things, and you mentioned earlier that you felt alone in processing some of the things that had happened, and I think it's important to note that you aren't alone and there are a lot of other women who are processing similar types of experiences, and I think it can be really helpful to hear these stories and know that you aren't alone.
• 1:05:20
  Stacie: Definitely.
• 1:05:21
  Stacie: And I want to be a voice for people that either have not given birth before and know that there are these things that can happen and what you can say no to and what you can say yes to, but then also the aspect of letting go as well and just being present in the moment and making the best decision for you in that moment and not beating yourself up for those decisions.
• 1:05:48
  Stacie: And yeah, like I said, with the epidural, my husband was like you wanted me to advocate for you and tell you no, and I was like I know I told you that, but I'm changing my mind and so, yeah, just being flexible with it and and then also knowing what things can go differently next time as well.
• 1:06:12
  Stacie: I'm so curious how many midwives do you know that don't have licensure in Maine, and how do they even go about that?
• 1:06:22
  Stacie: And then why do you think some midwives choose the path of being licensed?
• 1:06:27
  Stacie: Then Is there a benefit to it?
• 1:06:31
  Angela: Ooh, I am so glad you asked me that question.
• 1:06:34
  Angela: I actually am currently planning an entire podcast series to break down all of the things relating to that question.
• 1:06:43
  Angela: It's going to be coming out sometime this summer, so stay tuned.
• 1:06:48
  Stacie: Anyone that wants to know about traditional midwifery in Maine, we're going to be getting into it all it is very interesting talking about it all, and it's also just so sad that midwives were like the norm for so long and now they're kind of the minority with it.
• 1:07:08
  Stacie: Even though it is growing, it's still kind of considered taboo to some people and they're like what, you're having a home birth or you're having midwife what is that?
• 1:07:19
  Angela: yeah, totally.
• 1:07:20
  Angela: So now share with me what is the best way for people to get a hold of you if they want to reach out for some photos.
• 1:07:29
  Stacie: Yeah, so I am Stacey captures on Instagram S-T-A-C-I-E and then captures like you're capturing a photo.
• 1:07:38
  Stacie: I do my photography there weddings, maternity families, couples, the whole nine yards, senior photos and then I also do video at Summer Cinema on Instagram and it's summers, like the season, and then that's also my website, summercinemacom.
• 1:07:55
  Stacie: So those are my two platforms.
• 1:07:58
  Stacie: If you like really want to follow me, you can follow me at the Stace of Spade a play on words.
• 1:08:05
  Stacie: At the Stace of Spade, you know, like the Ace of Spade, I talk about a lot of motherhood stuff there.
• 1:08:11
  Stacie: That's where I share a lot of my like holistic stuff with pregnancy and motherhood.
• 1:08:16
  Stacie: So if you want to see like more of that content.
• 1:08:18
  Stacie: But yeah, I love, I've always loved maternity sessions, even before I was pregnant.
• 1:08:24
  Stacie: I just find it to be such a really cool moment to capture and I wish everyone got maternity sessions.
• 1:08:31
  Stacie: I know that everyone does.
• 1:08:33
  Stacie: Even my friends in real life have not done it, but you don't know if you're going to be pregnant again.
• 1:08:37
  Stacie: It's such a cool moment to capture, especially if you've never had a kid before.
• 1:08:41
  Stacie: It's the last moment where it's just the two of you, because after that all your other pregnancies are just kind of glorified family sessions.
• 1:08:47
  Stacie: So I think it's so special to capture what your body has done.
• 1:08:53
  Stacie: I know body image issues is a huge thing, so I guess that is my last piece of advice is new moms, whether you're pregnant or you've just given birth, take photos.
• 1:09:03
  Stacie: Like your body doesn't like the same.
• 1:09:05
  Stacie: I had to deal with that.
• 1:09:07
  Stacie: I was like way smaller and never have that body again.
• 1:09:11
  Stacie: Like I understand just giving birth.
• 1:09:13
  Stacie: Your body does not like the same.
• 1:09:14
  Stacie: It doesn't feel the same.
• 1:09:16
  Stacie: You don't feel like yourself.
• 1:09:18
  Stacie: So I totally understand not wanting to have your photo taken because you don't have that body positivity yet, but do it anyways.
• 1:09:27
  Stacie: You know we're not guaranteed anything in life.
• 1:09:29
  Stacie: Preserve those moments.
• 1:09:30
  Stacie: Your child is going to grow so fast, even in the first year, from like newborn to three months to six months to nine months.
• 1:09:36
  Stacie: So try to find a cute new outfit that you feel comfortable in and just take photos, whether it's professionally or not.
• 1:09:43
  Stacie: Like, take photos.
• 1:09:45
  Stacie: Be in the photos yourself as the mom, whether your hair's in a messy bun, wearing PJs.
• 1:09:52
  Stacie: Capture those moments because you deserve to be photographed with your child.
• 1:09:56
  Stacie: So that is my piece of advice is get photos done and capture yourself with your family.
• 1:10:03
  Angela: Yeah, oh my gosh, I love it.
• 1:10:05
  Angela: So I will link all of your information in the show notes and thank you so much, jc, for taking the time to chat with me tonight.
• 1:10:13
  Stacie: Oh my gosh, it was so much fun.
• 1:10:15
  Stacie: I was like I could be talking so much.
• 1:10:17
  Stacie: I've so much to say.
• 1:10:18
  Stacie: This is such a passionate topic and I am so excited to be sharing my story with everyone.
• 1:10:25
  Stacie: I hope it inspires people.
• 1:10:26
  Stacie: I hope that it encourages them and that it gives them a new perspective to consider.
• 1:10:33
  Angela: And that's the end of another episode of the my Main Birth podcast.
• 1:10:38
  Angela: Thank you for joining me and listening.
• 1:10:40
  Angela: If you're looking to document your birth story or if you're interested in doula support for your upcoming birth, head over to my website, mymainbirthcom and check out my packages.
• 1:10:53
  Angela: I'm a certified professional birth photographer and an experienced doula, and I offer in-person services to families throughout the state of Maine, as well as virtual birth coaching worldwide.
• 1:11:06
  Angela: I want to invite you to grab my top free resource for newly pregnant moms.
• 1:11:11
  Angela: It's called 37 Questions to Ask your Care Provider, whether you've already established care or if you're in the process of interviewing new providers.
• 1:11:20
  Angela: This is for you.
• 1:11:21
  Angela: Not only are you going to get the questions to ask, but I also share how to assess their answers and the major red flags that you should be looking for.
• 1:11:31
  Angela: So go grab that.
• 1:11:33
  Angela: It's at mymainbirthcom slash download.
• 1:11:37
  Angela: Thank you again for tuning in and I look forward to bringing you more amazing birth stories.
• 1:11:43
  Angela: Don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review, and I'll see you back here again next week.