Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 2 - Beer Chugging Celebrations

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Hour 2 - Beer Chugging Celebrations · The Ben Maller Show

0:03
Speaker 1: It's our number two. And how do you do in
0:08
Speaker 1: our two? Ben Maller Show fifth hour podcast is today
0:12
Speaker 1: here in our number two, though. How can a league
0:15
Speaker 1: swimming in alcohol sponsorship money lecture anyone about pretend drinking? Well,
0:22
Speaker 1: the NFL has done it. Also explain what the NFL
0:25
Speaker 1: should do. with the pantomime drinking penalties to random players,
0:31
Speaker 1: and does anybody actually need paperwork to remember that Nick
0:35
Speaker 1: Chubb was a Cleveland Brown? Apparently, you like that schmaltzy stuff.
0:40
Speaker 1: We'll talk about that and more. Don't forget, Fifth Hour
0:42
Speaker 1: Podcast broadcasting friend and legend Mel Proctor will be on
0:46
Speaker 1: there on the Fifth Hour Podcast. Here's our number two.
0:49
Speaker 1: No beer for you. Not even fake beer. You're going
0:54
Speaker 1: to your room. You can't have a fake beer. What's
0:58
Speaker 1: wrong with you? You punk. You loser. You dingleberry. Well...
1:03
Speaker 1: Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Ben
1:09
Speaker 1: Maller Show, an hour unlike any other. That's right. We
1:14
Speaker 1: are in the air everywhere. In the air as we
1:19
Speaker 1: talk continuously. Embarking on a wild audio journey, coast to coast,
1:25
Speaker 1: border to border, and beyond, on the vast and zestfully
1:31
Speaker 1: powerful microphones of FSR emanating live. Do it live! From
1:37
Speaker 1: the edge, the mathematical house edge, guaranteed human from the
1:43
Speaker 1: world famous FSR. Fox Sports Radio Studios, where Eileen from
1:48
Speaker 1: San Francisco, who is out of social media jail, congratulations
1:53
Speaker 1: on your freedom, Eileen. And she says, the first thing
1:56
Speaker 1: I want you to do, Ben, is to tell me
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Speaker 1: about Express. I said that's an odd thing for a
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Speaker 1: get options, and get... To work. And then I believe
2:24
Speaker 1: it was Kathy in Madison who reached out and said,
2:29
Speaker 1: I really liked the King. And I said, well, what
2:32
Speaker 1: King are you talking about? And she said, well, DraftKings.
2:34
Speaker 1: I said, that's right. The wait is over. Football is here,
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Speaker 1: at DraftKings. Again, that's promo code MALLER at DraftKings. The
2:53
Speaker 1: crown is yours. And you are here in the magic
3:00
Speaker 1: audio box as we are reunited. We had a primetime game,
3:03
Speaker 1: island game. That was not much of a game. The
3:06
Speaker 1: Atlanta Falcons, the Dirty Birds, slopping that cheese. Up a
3:13
Speaker 1: win there, cheese fondue at Lambeau Field, a blowout win
3:18
Speaker 1: as Michael Penix Jr. for a night. is the great
3:22
Speaker 1: messiah of the Atlanta Falcons. We'll see how long that lasts.
3:26
Speaker 1: The Green Bay Packers. Who goofed? I've got to know.
3:30
Speaker 1: The doom and gloom at Lambeau Field. But our lead
3:34
Speaker 1: this hour is from the controversy of the week. Not
3:39
Speaker 1: the catch of the week. The controversy of the week
3:42
Speaker 1: in the National Football League. As many have pointed out,
3:45
Speaker 1: The NFL has brought back their alter ego, the No
3:49
Speaker 1: Fun League, shaking down multiple players for the crime of celebration.
3:57
Speaker 1: It's very important in our pro football. It is the religion,
4:00
Speaker 1: the opium of the masses. You cannot celebrate. What's wrong
4:05
Speaker 1: with you? So if you haven't been paying attention, there
4:09
Speaker 1: have been several players who have been doinked Financially, the
4:14
Speaker 1: most redonkulous of them all we're going to focus in on,
4:18
Speaker 1: and that is in Northern California, where 49er fullback Kyle
4:22
Speaker 1: Juszczyk was fined almost $ 15, 000. Now, what was his crime?
4:29
Speaker 1: Did he steal a bunch of beer from a liquor store? No, no,
4:34
Speaker 1: he did not. Did he rob? Well, not rob, but
4:37
Speaker 1: did he pilfer the minibar at the hotel?
4:39
Speaker 2: No.
4:43
Speaker 1: And I'm a little sad, a little melancholy to have
4:45
Speaker 1: to tell you what happened. It's a little depressing here,
4:47
Speaker 1: but I will tell you that 49er fullback Kyle Juszczyk
4:52
Speaker 1: was fined $ 14, 926 for chugging beer after scoring. He chugged
5:00
Speaker 1: a beer. But it wasn't a real beer. Was it
5:04
Speaker 1: a fake beer? Was it a near beer? No, it
5:05
Speaker 1: wasn't a near beer. It was no beer. Yet he
5:08
Speaker 1: was fined. The NFL called it a, quote, offensive demonstration. Look,
5:15
Speaker 1: I'm doing it right. I'm drinking a fake beer. Oh, man,
5:18
Speaker 1: I'm getting in trouble with the FCC. I'm drinking a
5:21
Speaker 1: fake beer. I'm doing it right. Oh, man. Oh, this
5:24
Speaker 1: is great. Kyle claims his nickname is Juice, and I
5:30
Speaker 1: guess that's not for steroids. And he was just mimicking
5:33
Speaker 1: a juice box. Was it a Capri Sun? Oh, yeah,
5:38
Speaker 1: that's not a box. That's more like a bag, the
5:40
Speaker 1: Capri Sun. Anyway, he said he was just mimicking a
5:43
Speaker 1: juice box. a celebration he says he has done for years.
5:46
Speaker 1: Of course, no one ever watches Kyle Juszczyk, so how
5:48
Speaker 1: would we know? He said, I don't even drink beer.
5:51
Speaker 1: He was joking around. Now, he wasn't the only one.
5:53
Speaker 1: A Colts lineman was fined almost $ 9, 000 for a similar pantomiming,
6:00
Speaker 1: while Lions wide receiver Amon Ross St. Brown says he
6:04
Speaker 1: received not one, not two, not three, but four fines
6:07
Speaker 1: for smoking. Well, not actually smoking, fake smoking. And that
6:12
Speaker 1: was deemed offensive as well by our gatekeepers at the
6:17
Speaker 1: National Football League. So that is a good jumping-off point.
6:21
Speaker 1: Let us discuss the question. How can a league, the NFL,
6:27
Speaker 1: swimming in alcohol sponsorships and all that alcohol money lecture
6:33
Speaker 1: anyone about pretend drinking? So I've got Ouija board... urinal cakes,
6:42
Speaker 1: and fluffy. And we will combine all of these things together,
6:50
Speaker 1: and we will have focus and no hocus. We'll get
6:55
Speaker 1: to that. Now, number one. Number one. This is going
7:00
Speaker 1: to send sparks flying. I said number one. Number one.
7:04
Speaker 2: Yes.
7:04
Speaker 1: Apparently the NFL, and I give them credit. They're very powerful.
7:08
Speaker 1: They can determine the contents. of a beverage that doesn't
7:13
Speaker 1: even exist. You know how effing powerful you have to
7:16
Speaker 1: be to realize that? That they can determine what a
7:21
Speaker 1: beverage is that isn't even a beverage. Now, we love
7:24
Speaker 1: that they have identified an invisible beer in just seconds
7:28
Speaker 1: over at the NFL, but I guarantee you this weekend
7:33
Speaker 1: on Sunday, there'll be at least one or two games
7:36
Speaker 1: where it takes them no less than seven minutes to
7:39
Speaker 1: determine whether somebody caught a football inbounds or not. Did
7:44
Speaker 1: they have possession? Did they... Keep possession all the way
7:48
Speaker 1: until they hit the ground. Let's have an expedited booth review. Well,
7:51
Speaker 1: that won't work. Let's go to the elongated booth review. Also,
7:55
Speaker 1: where's the toxicology report on the imaginary beer? Is there
8:00
Speaker 1: an imaginary beverage unit that the NFL brings in for
8:03
Speaker 1: these kind of things? Imagine if they actually went to
8:06
Speaker 1: a hearing. Now, I guess there's going to be some
8:08
Speaker 1: kind of Zoom thing next week. But imagine explaining at
8:12
Speaker 1: a disciplinary hearing. Mr. Juszczyk, what exactly was inside the
8:17
Speaker 1: invisible container? Well, your honor, there was nothing. You see,
8:22
Speaker 1: it wasn't there was invisible because there was nothing there.
8:25
Speaker 1: So my advice, the NFL needs a Ouija board and
8:29
Speaker 1: they need to channel the sweet spirit of Marcel Marceau,
8:35
Speaker 1: because apparently Park Avenue. They need a dead mime to
8:39
Speaker 1: explain that pantomiming is not the devil's workshop. It's okay.
8:45
Speaker 1: It's okay. And this is an example of what happens
8:50
Speaker 1: when an organization becomes so enormous that it loses its focus.
8:57
Speaker 1: It does not have the eye on the prize anymore.
8:59
Speaker 1: And it starts to invent problems for itself. I often
9:03
Speaker 1: chuckle when I look at early American history and why
9:06
Speaker 1: America was founded for low taxation and they wanted lower taxes.
9:11
Speaker 1: And you give it a couple hundred years and now
9:14
Speaker 1: all you people keep voting for taxes. The whole point
9:17
Speaker 1: of America was less taxation. People just keep voting for taxes.
9:20
Speaker 1: So that's what happens over time. Now, the next touchdown,
9:24
Speaker 1: the next touchdown that. use check scores, he should mix
9:29
Speaker 1: it up a little bit. Now, he said his name's Hughes.
9:31
Speaker 1: I mentioned Capri Sun as a possibility. He could have
9:35
Speaker 1: a Snapple, could have a Snapple, and then wait for
9:38
Speaker 1: the NFL to accuse him of promoting excessive sugar because
9:46
Speaker 1: Capri Sun, Snapple, orange juice, they all have a lot of,
9:51
Speaker 1: A lot of sugar. As Mark Jackson said before he
9:54
Speaker 1: was blacklisted from TV, what happened to the game I love?
9:58
Speaker 1: What happened to the game I love? i thought the
10:00
Speaker 1: nfl had moved on they had said oh we want
10:02
Speaker 1: celebration we're going to bring the fun back and you
10:05
Speaker 1: have players doing row row your boat and other things
10:08
Speaker 1: after scoring touchdowns and now you cannot drink a beer Well,
10:12
Speaker 1: it's not a beer. Well, you can't pretend to drink
10:14
Speaker 1: a beer. Why can't I pretend to drink a beer?
10:15
Speaker 1: I'd like to pretend to drink a beer. Well, you
10:16
Speaker 1: can't do that. You're not allowed. Pantomime is not allowed
10:19
Speaker 1: in the NFL. Cannot do it. All right. Now, page two,
10:22
Speaker 1: keeping the beat going. Can you explain what the NFL
10:26
Speaker 1: should do with these pantomime drinking penalties? So my advice
10:34
Speaker 1: for Roger the Dodger Goodell, unsolicited overnight sports talk radio
10:39
Speaker 1: advice on the Ben Maller show, fess up. This isn't
10:43
Speaker 1: about morality. It's not a morality play. It's corporate hypocrisy
10:48
Speaker 1: wearing the NFL shield is what it is. Now, we've
10:51
Speaker 1: reached the point where the league is now regulating liquids
10:56
Speaker 1: that don't even exist. Are they going to do a
11:00
Speaker 1: blood alcohol test to see what the blood alcohol level
11:03
Speaker 1: of Kyle Juszczyk was considering he was drinking during the game?
11:08
Speaker 2: Yes.
11:09
Speaker 1: It's crazy. So the NFL... eagerly accepts real beer money
11:15
Speaker 1: while condemning fictional beer consumption. Make it make sense. They
11:22
Speaker 1: sell vice. The NFL's in vice. I don't have a
11:26
Speaker 1: problem with vice. Just admit what you're doing. You're in
11:31
Speaker 1: the gambling business. The NFL is in the gambling business.
11:34
Speaker 1: They are in the alcohol business. They're in the controlled
11:37
Speaker 1: violence business. Buy the truckload. They've even considered hiring Truck
11:41
Speaker 1: Stop Fungus and Moving Man Matt to drive their trucks around.
11:47
Speaker 1: Welcome to Prohibition 2.0, where you have to be a
11:52
Speaker 1: special breed of miserable... They're policing imaginary beverages. And when
12:01
Speaker 1: some joyless Park Avenue desk jockey spots Kyle Juszczyk pretending
12:06
Speaker 1: to sip on an imaginary alcoholic beverage, they turn into
12:12
Speaker 1: the church lady. They clearly have too many employees at
12:17
Speaker 1: the NFL. Again, bureaucracy. It goes back to bureaucracy. So
12:21
Speaker 1: if Roger Goodell wants to do his job properly, here's
12:25
Speaker 1: what I would do. My advice is the commissioner of
12:27
Speaker 1: the NFL, find the loser who decided this was a
12:32
Speaker 1: good find issue to Kyle Juszczyk and this other guy
12:35
Speaker 1: for the Colts you've never heard of. And then what
12:37
Speaker 1: you do is you surgically remove the wooden broomstick that
12:42
Speaker 1: is shoved up this person's badonkadonk, and then you reassign
12:46
Speaker 1: that person to counting urinal cakes. Now, when they're done
12:51
Speaker 1: counting all of the urinal cakes at NFL stadiums, you
12:54
Speaker 1: then excommunicate them before they find someone for the crime
12:59
Speaker 1: of smiling. You were smiling, and that's offensive. How dare you?
13:04
Speaker 1: All right, final point. To Northern Ohio we go. Is
13:09
Speaker 1: this going to be our 7,830th Mallard monologue on Deshaun
13:15
Speaker 1: Watson and Shadur Sanders? Hell no! However, we are told
13:21
Speaker 1: that Nick Chubb is returning to Cleveland not to play.
13:27
Speaker 1: He's going to sign one of those dopey one-day contracts
13:31
Speaker 1: to officially retire as a Brown. Now, Chubba-lub-lub, We'll also
13:37
Speaker 1: be honored at the game on Sunday, Cleveland hosting the
13:40
Speaker 1: Carolina football team. Chubb at his prime had not one,
13:44
Speaker 1: not two, not three, but four straight thousand-yard rushing seasons
13:49
Speaker 1: for the Brownies, leading Cleveland. He put up some big
13:53
Speaker 1: numbers there on some mediocre teams. He then spent the
13:57
Speaker 1: 2025 season in Houston. Nobody remembers that because it's the Texans,
14:02
Speaker 1: and they did make the playoffs that year. Chubb, in
14:05
Speaker 1: free agency, drew no interest, not a single team, not
14:09
Speaker 1: a single team wanted to bring in Nick Chubb. And
14:12
Speaker 1: so he announced his retirement last month, saying he was
14:15
Speaker 1: at peace with walking away after eight NFL seasons. The question,
14:21
Speaker 1: does anybody, does anybody actually need paperwork to remember that
14:29
Speaker 1: Nick Chubb was a Brown? Does anyone need a piece
14:33
Speaker 1: of paper or digital form to remember that Nick Chubb
14:37
Speaker 1: played for the Cleveland Browns. So I'm going to get
14:41
Speaker 1: on my soapbox. Don't mind me. Don't mind me. I'm
14:43
Speaker 1: going to get on them. Forget the soapbox. I'm getting
14:45
Speaker 1: on the bully pulpit. Mallard's getting on the bully pulpit.
14:48
Speaker 1: One day retirement contracts are officially the dumbest tradition in sports.
14:56
Speaker 1: Can somebody please explain? Why grown adults get so emotional
15:01
Speaker 1: they're verklempt over fake employment papers. I really don't get it.
15:06
Speaker 1: It's gone on for a long time. I've never gotten it.
15:09
Speaker 1: And now we have Nick Chubb joining the fun.
15:12
Speaker 3: Oh, good.
15:12
Speaker 1: Nick Chubb is a Cleveland Brown again. Whee! Whee! I
15:18
Speaker 1: know we were all losing sleep over that. I mean,
15:22
Speaker 1: that event, that Nick Chubb comeback to Cleveland Day should
15:25
Speaker 1: be hosted by Fluffy. The comedian in its meaningless fluff,
15:30
Speaker 1: a cheap heartstring-pulling PR stunt by the Cleveland football team.
15:35
Speaker 1: It's the NFL's version of a Hollywood happily ever after moment.
15:40
Speaker 1: You know those happily ever after fade to black? Except
15:43
Speaker 1: the player already left, already played for another team, the
15:48
Speaker 1: franchise has moved on, and the only thing, the only
15:52
Speaker 1: thing getting renewed is is the highlight package on social media,
15:56
Speaker 1: and I'm sure you can sell a few commemorative Nick
15:59
Speaker 1: Chubb Day t-shirts and all that. The Factory of Sadness
16:04
Speaker 1: is now just producing commemorative sadness. They give out little
16:08
Speaker 1: commemorative sadness pins and coffee mugs and all that. And
16:11
Speaker 1: keep in mind, the Browns, with Nick Chubb, were 39-45-1
16:16
Speaker 1: in games he played. In the regular season, Nick Chubb,
16:22
Speaker 1: when he played, the Browns had a 464 winning percentage
16:27
Speaker 1: with Nick Chubb in the lineup. And so for that,
16:30
Speaker 1: you get balloons, you get a cake, possibly some brownies,
16:35
Speaker 1: and we indeed are living. In the stupidest of times,
16:39
Speaker 1: when it comes to these kind of things, it just
16:41
Speaker 1: makes little to no sense. It's just dumb, ceremonial baloney. Baloney!
16:49
Speaker 2: Baloney.
16:50
Speaker 1: It is the Ben Maller Show, which is not baloney.
16:54
Speaker 1: And you know what's straight ahead here? It's called Benny vs.
16:57
Speaker 1: the Penny. And we'll check back at how we did
17:00
Speaker 1: last week, how we're doing overall, head-to-head every week. It
17:03
Speaker 1: is a battle. We have eight featured games. All of
17:06
Speaker 1: the games will be available on social media on Friday
17:09
Speaker 1: or Saturday. We'll give you all the picks on who
17:11
Speaker 1: we like. But there are eight. Highlighted games, hand-picked, and
17:16
Speaker 1: we will break them down against the spread. We'll tell
17:19
Speaker 1: you who should win, why we like the teams that
17:22
Speaker 1: we like, against the gambling number. We'll get to all
17:25
Speaker 1: of that. No calls. You can give us feedback on
17:29
Speaker 1: X throughout the hour if you agree with the picks,
17:31
Speaker 1: if you don't agree with the picks, if you think
17:33
Speaker 1: we screwed something up. You can complain. There's nothing the
17:37
Speaker 1: audio consumer loves more than correcting the gas bag on
17:40
Speaker 1: the radio. So we'll get to Benny versus the penny
17:44
Speaker 1: in its entirety, and we will do it next. Be
17:50
Speaker 1: sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller Show
17:53
Speaker 1: weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific.
17:57
Speaker 4: Welcome to Football Doesn't Lie.
17:59
Speaker 3: Hi, I'm Bill Parcells.
18:01
Speaker 4: And I'm Catherine Zazzora.
18:02
Speaker 3: I have a lot of experience in the game of football, Catherine.
18:06
Speaker 4: And I'm learning the game with Bill's help. Every week,
18:09
Speaker 4: we're going to talk about the NFL slate through the
18:11
Speaker 4: lens of Bill's expertise as he coaches me from novice
18:14
Speaker 4: fan to football expert over the course of the season.
18:17
Speaker 3: You know, I'm looking forward to this show, Catherine, and
18:20
Speaker 3: hopefully we can give our audience a little in-depth look
18:23
Speaker 3: into the inner sanctum of pro football that they can't
18:26
Speaker 3: get anywhere else.
18:27
Speaker 4: Tune in every Thursday for unfiltered stories from Coach Parcells,
18:31
Speaker 4: analysis on the state of the modern game, and education
18:34
Speaker 4: on how football really works.
18:36
Speaker 2: Continuity is very important but what happens when you get
18:40
Speaker 2: good coaches on your staff and people begin to recognize
18:44
Speaker 2: them then they want to hire them and then you
18:47
Speaker 2: can't stop a guy from trying to improve himself but
18:51
Speaker 2: you have to replace.
18:52
Speaker 4: Them Because once you understand what's going on inside the
18:55
Speaker 4: mind of the coaches, you'll understand more about the whole game.
18:59
Speaker 3: So all aspects can be discussed. The only thing I
19:01
Speaker 3: haven't done, because I didn't have enough money, I don't
19:05
Speaker 3: own the team. I never owned a team.
19:07
Speaker 4: Listen to Football Doesn't Lie on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
19:11
Speaker 4: or wherever you get your podcasts.
19:18
Speaker 1: Got to get that money. It is the Ben Maller
19:21
Speaker 1: Show on Fox Sports Radio. We're hanging out all night
19:25
Speaker 1: and glad you have chosen to spend some time with us. Normally,
19:28
Speaker 1: this is the part where I give out the phone
19:30
Speaker 1: number and I beg for people to participate, but not today.
19:35
Speaker 1: Our old friend Benny versus the Penny is about to return. Now,
19:38
Speaker 1: you can give us real-time feedback. throughout the hour on
19:43
Speaker 1: the X machine. How do you do that? Well, let's
19:46
Speaker 1: follow along at Ben Maller on X. That's at Ben.
19:50
Speaker 1: Maller on X. And we will read some of your
19:53
Speaker 1: comments throughout the hour. Understand? All right. Very good. Back
19:58
Speaker 1: to it. We go. Here we go. Here we go.
20:00
Speaker 1: Here we go.
20:01
Speaker 2: Time to roll.
20:03
Speaker 1: Welcome in, Militia. Speaking of winners, can you handle more
20:07
Speaker 1: Maller mayhem? Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and It's time now
20:10
Speaker 1: for Benny vs. the Penny. And it is week three
20:17
Speaker 1: of the NFL season. We have handpicked eight games, handcrafted.
20:22
Speaker 1: We will handicap eight games. Now, all the picks will
20:24
Speaker 1: be available on social media, so make sure to follow
20:27
Speaker 1: the show accounts on Instagram and on the Facebook page.
20:34
Speaker 1: We will post at some point. either later today depending
20:37
Speaker 1: on my schedule, or Saturday. All of the games, we
20:41
Speaker 1: will have eight featured games. And a programming note, Koopa
20:46
Speaker 1: Loop is not here, and Garrett was in last hour,
20:49
Speaker 1: but this hour we welcome in celebrity morning show producer,
20:54
Speaker 1: our friend Patty. Hey! He's in the house. There he
20:57
Speaker 1: is right there. This is your first time as the Penny.
21:00
Speaker 1: This is amazing! Let's go. Pop your cherry is the penny.
21:05
Speaker 1: Patty is, of course, the morning show producer with Jonas
21:12
Speaker 1: and those guys. And so you can find him on
21:14
Speaker 1: X at Patty Speaks. Before we look ahead, though, we
21:16
Speaker 1: must look back. Patty, I know you were not here
21:19
Speaker 1: for the first two weeks of the NFL season. I
21:21
Speaker 1: won week one. Do you have the numbers from last week?
21:25
Speaker 1: How did we do last week? Actually, I do have
21:27
Speaker 1: the numbers. So, Ben, you went 9-7. Okay, so 9-7
21:33
Speaker 1: is not great. 9-7 is pretty mediocre. However... Could be worse.
21:39
Speaker 1: Could be worse. And if you do the math on that, Patty,
21:42
Speaker 1: and you know I'm a big– I use Mahler math.
21:44
Speaker 1: So if you have nine wins and then seven losses
21:48
Speaker 1: and you calculate out, you say, well, what is the
21:51
Speaker 1: winning percentage on that? The winning percentage on that is 563,
21:56
Speaker 1: which is– it's okay. It's not that great. But how
22:00
Speaker 1: did the penny do? That's what I want to know.
22:01
Speaker 1: How did my evil enemy the penny do? Well, that's
22:04
Speaker 1: the thing, Ben. It could have been worse, and you're right.
22:07
Speaker 1: It was worse for the penny. 6-10. Loser! Loser! I
22:15
Speaker 1: am giving a weekly master class on how to beat
22:19
Speaker 1: the penny. If only I had done this while we
22:22
Speaker 1: had the TV show over at NBC, we'd still have
22:24
Speaker 1: the damn TV show. Anyway, all right, well, let's have
22:28
Speaker 1: some fun here. First game up, the New England Patriots
22:31
Speaker 1: and the Jacksonville Jaguars. And this game in Florida, it's
22:35
Speaker 1: on CBS, Spiro Adidas and Adam Archuleta, who I actually...
22:40
Speaker 1: Did some stuff with years ago at another shop. And
22:43
Speaker 1: they will have the call there on CBS. 83 degrees,
22:47
Speaker 1: partly cloudy at kickoff in Jacksonville. And the Jaguars, a
22:51
Speaker 1: three-point favorite. That line, courtesy of our friends at DraftKings.
22:58
Speaker 1: And here's a fun fact on this game. Trevor Lawrence
23:01
Speaker 1: has played six games against Mike Vrabel coach teams in
23:04
Speaker 1: his career. He is two and four against the spread.
23:07
Speaker 1: That's since 2021. I'm going to take Jacksonville as a
23:11
Speaker 1: small favorite at home. I just don't like the way
23:15
Speaker 1: Drake Mays playing right now. It's hard to imagine he's
23:18
Speaker 1: going to get much better. Jacksonville's pretty good defensively. And
23:21
Speaker 1: if they're able to put pressure on Drake May, which
23:24
Speaker 1: obviously you want to put pressure on every quarterback, but
23:26
Speaker 1: New England's offense in particular lacking the wow factor, they
23:29
Speaker 1: just don't have enough playmakers right now. And so if
23:33
Speaker 1: Drake May continues to play uncomfortable football down in distance,
23:37
Speaker 1: that will expose mistakes and Jacksonville should be able to
23:41
Speaker 1: to take advantage of that. And Jacksonville, if they can
23:44
Speaker 1: continually give Drake May long third-down situations, that will help, obviously,
23:52
Speaker 1: protect the football, all those normal things. And Trevor Lawrence
23:56
Speaker 1: at home should be the better quarterback here against a
24:00
Speaker 1: Patriot offense that is absolutely bedraggled right now. So I'm
24:04
Speaker 1: going to take the Jaguars. I'll lay the three points.
24:08
Speaker 1: And the penny picks! The Patriots. That is a heads.
24:15
Speaker 1: That's right. We got a disagreement. That's good. We like disagreement.
24:20
Speaker 1: All right, next up, the Bengals, a three-and-a-half-point favorite at
24:24
Speaker 1: the Steelers in Pittsburgh. Ian Eagle and Ross Tucker have
24:30
Speaker 1: the call on CBS. 66 degrees at kickoff and mostly cloudy.
24:35
Speaker 1: And I am going to take... the Bengals in this
24:39
Speaker 1: game as a favorite on the road. That's how little
24:42
Speaker 1: I think of the Pittsburgh Steelers here. Fun fact, Joe
24:45
Speaker 1: Burrow has started 15 road divisional games in his career,
24:50
Speaker 1: and when Cincinnati scores 21 or more points in those games,
24:54
Speaker 1: the Bengals have not lost against the spread. That's the
24:56
Speaker 1: sweet spot on what has happened. When they don't score
24:59
Speaker 1: 21 points, the Bengals are just 1-7 against the spread
25:02
Speaker 1: in when they play a divisional road game. However, in
25:09
Speaker 1: this one, you're just going to go with the better team.
25:11
Speaker 1: Cincinnati's clearly the better team. They've got the better quarterback
25:15
Speaker 1: in Joe Burrow. Cincinnati's passing game will be able to
25:19
Speaker 1: have some success. The Steelers are not chumps on defense, obviously.
25:24
Speaker 1: Joe Burrow, hold on to the ball, avoid the strip sacks,
25:27
Speaker 1: the tipped interceptions, those cheap plays that will turn the
25:31
Speaker 1: game in favor of Pittsburgh. You just don't think that
25:35
Speaker 1: Aaron Rodgers and the Steelers' offense will be able to
25:38
Speaker 1: do much of anything in this game. It's weird saying that,
25:41
Speaker 1: considering how pathetic Cincinnati has been. If you're the Bengals here,
25:47
Speaker 1: you want to bury... the Steelers early in this game.
25:51
Speaker 1: Don't turn this into a rock fight. You go up
25:54
Speaker 1: by a couple of touchdowns early, and Aaron Rodgers will
25:58
Speaker 1: start drinking ayahuasca on the bench, and he'll be like,
26:01
Speaker 1: where's Joe Rogan? I need Joe Rogan! And so they'll
26:05
Speaker 1: have all kinds of problems. But listen, I am going
26:07
Speaker 1: to take, again, the Bengals in this game. I don't
26:12
Speaker 1: love them as a road favorite. However, I'm going to
26:16
Speaker 1: take them. That's how bad I think of Pittsburgh and
26:20
Speaker 1: the Penny Picks. The Steelers. All right. So we disagree
26:28
Speaker 1: on that one as well. You're listening to our live
26:31
Speaker 1: coverage of Benny versus the Penny. If you like it,
26:33
Speaker 1: we do it every single week at this time. Handpick
26:36
Speaker 1: eight games against the spread. And then we do the
26:39
Speaker 1: rest of the picks. All the games against a Penny.
26:43
Speaker 1: And there's two ways I can win. I can beat
26:45
Speaker 1: the Penny. which I've done two weeks in a row,
26:48
Speaker 1: and then just finish way above.
26:50
Speaker 4: 500.
26:50
Speaker 1: And do what you want. You should handicap these games.
26:52
Speaker 1: You're a gambler. Handicap them yourself. If we agree, that's great.
26:56
Speaker 1: It has a little more cachet to it. Next up,
26:59
Speaker 1: the Chargers, the worst team in the National Football League
27:03
Speaker 1: at 0-2. Worst start in 100 years in the NFL.
27:07
Speaker 1: No one's lost to bigger tomato cans to start the
27:09
Speaker 1: year at home. Then the Chargers. And they are at Buffalo.
27:14
Speaker 1: And the Bills, a seven-point favorite. Buffalo Bills off to
27:17
Speaker 1: the 2-0 start to begin the year here. They got
27:21
Speaker 1: the razzmatazz. It's on Fox. So you better watch. This
27:25
Speaker 1: is the big game on Fox. Kevin Burkhart and Tom
27:28
Speaker 1: Skinny Jeans Brady will be there. The weather, 61 degrees
27:34
Speaker 1: at kickoff. So, you know, we're still in September. Check
27:39
Speaker 1: back and late November and December and January to see
27:42
Speaker 1: how the weather is there in Orchard Park, New York.
27:45
Speaker 1: I'm going to take the Chargers in this game. Don't
27:47
Speaker 1: tell anybody I'm taking the Chargers. Jim Harbaugh, 6-0 against
27:51
Speaker 1: the spread at a rest disadvantage of three or more
27:56
Speaker 1: days in his career. That goes way back. But he
28:00
Speaker 1: has the greatest advantage, at least against the spread, in
28:05
Speaker 1: that category than any other head coach ever. in the
28:09
Speaker 1: Super Bowl era. So he's done really, really well in
28:12
Speaker 1: this type of spot. And you really just want to
28:14
Speaker 1: shorten the game. The Chargers, everyone's piling on. They deserve
28:19
Speaker 1: to be piled on. They're terrible right now. Justin Herbert's
28:21
Speaker 1: been an embarrassment. I learned years ago, you're never as
28:25
Speaker 1: bad as everyone says you are. You're never as good
28:27
Speaker 1: as everyone thinks you are. It's somewhere in the middle.
28:29
Speaker 1: And I do expect a bounce back from the Chargers.
28:33
Speaker 1: And that does not mean they're going to win the game.
28:34
Speaker 1: You're getting a touchdown, though, in this game. You're getting
28:38
Speaker 1: a touchdown here. And a lot of the Chargers problems
28:40
Speaker 1: have been mental mistakes and all that. Now, the nightmare
28:43
Speaker 1: for me, I'm taking the Chargers. You fall behind 17-0
28:47
Speaker 1: in Buffalo. And then it turns out to be a
28:50
Speaker 1: 34-3 type score game. And that's it. You want to
28:54
Speaker 1: have it obviously kind of hang around there early, score
28:56
Speaker 1: some points early on. There's also the possibility of a
28:58
Speaker 1: backdoor cover in this game. Either way, I'm getting the touchdown.
29:03
Speaker 1: The Chargers, they got to play better at some point. Otherwise,
29:06
Speaker 1: everyone's going to get fired. I'm going to take the
29:07
Speaker 1: Chargers plus seven. And the Penny picks the Chargers. All right.
29:16
Speaker 1: So we agree on that. Penny represent it. by patty
29:20
Speaker 1: patty is the penny next up for us the minnesota
29:25
Speaker 1: vikings at two and oh vikings a one and a
29:29
Speaker 1: half point road favorite against the buccaneers who are oh
29:32
Speaker 1: and two it's on fox friend of the show kenny
29:37
Speaker 1: albert and jonathan vilma at a friend of the show
29:41
Speaker 1: and so you can check that out 84 degrees scattered
29:44
Speaker 1: thunderstorms at the stadium which I think is still called
29:49
Speaker 1: Raymond James Stadium I don't know if they changed the
29:50
Speaker 1: name of that it's hard to keep track of these
29:52
Speaker 1: stadiums but I believe it's still called that and our
29:54
Speaker 1: friend TJ Reeves Fox Sports Radio alumni guy will be
29:58
Speaker 1: doing the sidelines on the Bucs radio broadcast. Now, the
30:01
Speaker 1: fun fact on this game, Baker Mayfield tied with Brandon
30:05
Speaker 1: Whedon for the longest against the spread losing streak for
30:09
Speaker 1: any quarterback in the Super Bowl era, 11 consecutive games. Now,
30:14
Speaker 1: Todd Bowles already owns the longest against the spread losing
30:18
Speaker 1: streak for any coach at 11 games. Baker Mayfield, though,
30:21
Speaker 1: tied with Brandon Whedon for the longest against the spread
30:24
Speaker 1: losing streak. So you probably think I'm going to take
30:26
Speaker 1: the Buccaneers as a small home dog. No, believe it
30:29
Speaker 1: or not, I'm going to take Alligator Arms Murray and
30:34
Speaker 1: the Vikings. Not because of Alligator Arms Murray. I am
30:38
Speaker 1: going to bet against Baker Mayfield, who has been a
30:40
Speaker 1: hot mess to begin the year. And buyer's remorse for
30:45
Speaker 1: the Buccaneers here. He does not want to check the
30:47
Speaker 1: ball down. He's trying to hit home runs. He's like
30:50
Speaker 1: a modern baseball player. He doesn't want to take a walk.
30:52
Speaker 1: He doesn't want to just get a base hit. Buccaneers
30:56
Speaker 1: are 0-2, looking for their first win. And they come
31:00
Speaker 1: out here, play well early, put pressure on Tampa Bay.
31:03
Speaker 1: They'll start pointing fingers at each other and all that.
31:06
Speaker 1: Kyler Murray, not great. He's... Usually decent for about half
31:11
Speaker 1: the game. That's all you're going to need here. Spread
31:14
Speaker 1: the ball around a little bit if you're Minnesota. Let
31:16
Speaker 1: that defense do their thing with Brian Flores. A little
31:19
Speaker 1: concerned about the comeback after that game with the Bears.
31:23
Speaker 1: Everyone kissing the Vikings defensive performance. They're kissing their Artukas.
31:27
Speaker 1: That always worries me a little bit. Nonetheless, I'm going
31:30
Speaker 1: to take the team from Minnesota Vikings as a small favorite.
31:34
Speaker 1: The Penny Picks! The Buccaneers. All right. So we disagree
31:42
Speaker 1: on that. A lot of disagreement this week. It's Benny
31:44
Speaker 1: versus the Penny. Man versus coin. As we are picking
31:49
Speaker 1: eight featured games here. Eight featured games on the radio.
31:54
Speaker 1: And then the rest of the games we'll have on
31:56
Speaker 1: social media on the Instagram page, which can be found.
31:59
Speaker 1: The Ben Maller Show Instagram page is Ben Maller on Fox.
32:04
Speaker 1: And the Facebook page, Ben Maller Show. Ben Maller Show.
32:09
Speaker 1: Next up, we are going to leave. The United States.
32:12
Speaker 1: We are going to head to Brazil, to Rio de Janeiro,
32:17
Speaker 1: where CBS will have the call of the Ravens and
32:22
Speaker 1: the Cowboys. Ravens a three-and-a-half point neutral side favorite in
32:26
Speaker 1: this game. Hello, friends. Jim Nance and J.J. Watt will
32:31
Speaker 1: be the play-by-play and color commentator for this game from Brazil.
32:35
Speaker 1: Must be nice. Weather 71 degrees and cloudy in Brazil
32:40
Speaker 1: at kickoff. You're saying, hey, Maller, can I get a
32:44
Speaker 1: fun fact on this game? I would like a fun fact. Maller,
32:49
Speaker 1: fun fact. You're demanding a fun fact. All right, well,
32:52
Speaker 1: I'll give you a fun fact. So Dak Prescott against
32:57
Speaker 1: first-year head coaches. Now, normally first-year head coaches have issues
33:00
Speaker 1: trying to get their feet underneath them. The Ravens have
33:02
Speaker 1: a first-year head coach. Dak Prescott is just 11-17 against
33:07
Speaker 1: the spread in his career facing a first-year head coach.
33:12
Speaker 1: And he has only been an underdog twice in that spot.
33:16
Speaker 1: So this is the first time in a while that
33:20
Speaker 1: he's been a dog, as the Ravens are a three-and-a-half-point
33:25
Speaker 1: favorite in this game. From Brazil, and I'm going to
33:29
Speaker 1: take the Baltimore Ravens. Again, I don't normally like favorites here,
33:32
Speaker 1: but you just got to run, run, run, run, run.
33:35
Speaker 1: The Cowboys' defense has been battered and beaten. They've already
33:37
Speaker 1: allowed 347 rushing yards. Baltimore... can run on even good
33:42
Speaker 1: defensive teams. They're not a good, they're a mediocre defensive team,
33:46
Speaker 1: the Dallas Cowboys here. And it's a bounce-back game for
33:50
Speaker 1: Lamar Jackson. They rode the vomit comet in the fourth
33:53
Speaker 1: quarter last week, choking the game away at home, an
33:57
Speaker 1: embarrassing loss to the New Orleans Saints. Got to get
34:00
Speaker 1: that taste out of your mouth and head off. to
34:03
Speaker 1: the wind column here and just don't turn this thing
34:07
Speaker 1: into a Rio de Janeiro circus. It's a neutral site game,
34:11
Speaker 1: which means it can be a weird crowd and, you know,
34:15
Speaker 1: come out here and just pound the ball on the
34:17
Speaker 1: Dallas defense here. Dallas has enough firepower that they can
34:22
Speaker 1: hang around and come back and cover the spread and
34:25
Speaker 1: all that. The, Ravens, as long as they just play
34:28
Speaker 1: a clean game, they should win this game by at
34:30
Speaker 1: least a touchdown, if not blow the doors off the
34:32
Speaker 1: Dallas Cowboys. So I will take the Ravens and the
34:35
Speaker 1: penny picks. The Ravens. Okay, so we agree on that game.
34:44
Speaker 1: Very good. So we will pause for the cause because
34:48
Speaker 1: it's all about the cause. We have three games left,
34:51
Speaker 1: including the two Island games upcoming, the two Island games.
34:56
Speaker 1: the Sunday night and the Monday night game. Also, there's
34:58
Speaker 1: one other game that we'll feature in our eight hand-picked games.
35:01
Speaker 1: You're listening to our live coverage of Benny versus the Penny,
35:05
Speaker 1: presented here on Fox Sports Radio as we break down
35:07
Speaker 1: week three of the National Football League. And time now
35:13
Speaker 1: for the Insta trivia. You can answer this on X,
35:16
Speaker 1: at Ben Maller. And it does relate to the game
35:19
Speaker 1: we just talked about. Since turning 30, Ravens running back
35:24
Speaker 1: Derrick Henry leads the NFL with 37 rushing touchdowns. Now
35:30
Speaker 1: Sunday in Rio against Dallas, Henry can move into the
35:34
Speaker 1: top five all-time for rushing touchdowns after the age of 30.
35:39
Speaker 1: The all-time leader in this category is Washington Redskins legend
35:43
Speaker 1: John Riggins. and Raiders legend Marcus Allen there at the
35:48
Speaker 1: top of the list, while Blank is third. Again, Derrick
35:51
Speaker 1: Henry of the Ravens. He beats all the NFL running
35:56
Speaker 1: backs with 37 rushing touchdowns since turning 30. He can
36:01
Speaker 1: move into the top five all-time for rushing touchdowns after
36:04
Speaker 1: age 30 on Sunday there in Rio. John Riggins is
36:10
Speaker 1: at the very top. You've got Marcus Allen second, and
36:14
Speaker 1: Blank is third. That is the instant trivia. The answer,
36:18
Speaker 1: we'll get to it, and we will do it next.
36:23
Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
36:25
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific. Alive.
36:30
Speaker 1: It's alive. It's alive. It's alive. Today's Friday. Today's Friday.
36:38
Speaker 1: Today's Friday. Jerk yourself away. Put a sock in your mouth.
36:41
Speaker 1: That's a plump pussy right there. Ben, I love you.
36:47
Speaker 1: How about shut up? Don't worry, don't worry. It's just
36:50
Speaker 1: tater tot. Meat's very tasty. I love our balls.
36:55
Speaker 2: In your face, Ben Maller.
36:57
Speaker 1: The show is over. Goodbye. The show definitely not over.
37:02
Speaker 1: Definitely not over. It is the Ben Maller Show on
37:05
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio. Check us out on the YouTube page
37:10
Speaker 1: at Ben Maller Show. That's at Ben Maller Show on YouTube.
37:14
Speaker 1: You can find Maller monologues and other features only available
37:18
Speaker 1: on the YouTube. So check that out. Available on that platform.
37:23
Speaker 1: Follow along and show clips will pop up in your
37:26
Speaker 1: feed when you're not being productive today. and being lazy
37:30
Speaker 1: and looking for things to distract you, you will find
37:34
Speaker 1: random Mallor monologues and other features, so make sure to
37:37
Speaker 1: check that out. We appreciate you. We appreciate you. All right,
37:42
Speaker 1: time now for the Insta Trivia, and then we'll get
37:44
Speaker 1: back to Benny versus the Penny. We have three featured
37:46
Speaker 1: games left on Benny versus the Penny as we break
37:50
Speaker 1: it all down. Here we are. It is week number
37:53
Speaker 1: three of the NFL, and there are three games left.
37:58
Speaker 1: Here's the instant trivia. Since turning 30, Ravens running back
38:01
Speaker 1: Derrick Henry leads the NFL with 37 rushing touchdowns. Now,
38:05
Speaker 1: Sunday in Rio against Dallas, Henry can move into the
38:10
Speaker 1: top five all-time for rushing touchdowns after the age of 30.
38:14
Speaker 1: The Redskins legend John Riggins is the all-time king in
38:18
Speaker 1: that category. Raiders icon Marcus Allen is second. Blank is third.
38:24
Speaker 1: So fill in the blank, and that is the question.
38:29
Speaker 1: Let's see, does anyone know the answer? We'll give a
38:32
Speaker 1: few of these goofy answers, and then we'll get right
38:34
Speaker 1: back to Benny versus the Penny for the three games
38:38
Speaker 1: that are remaining. And Mallard Prop Guy is going with
38:41
Speaker 1: Doc Mike as his answer. Adorable Adrian Adonis from Rob
38:46
Speaker 1: in the 3-2-1, a legend. Don Cherry from Alf the
38:51
Speaker 1: Alien O'Piner. Teddy Swims, who's 34 today, from Late Night
38:55
Speaker 1: Drug Tester. Emmett Smith, guest by Andy in Lionel Lake, Minnesota.
39:00
Speaker 1: Stevie Meatball's going with Betty White. Our friend Eek in Roseville, Minnesota,
39:07
Speaker 1: went with Frank Gore. Arik in Minnesota went with Blind
39:10
Speaker 1: Emmett Smith. Burt Reynolds, guest by Mediocre Kabuki. Aaron Judge's
39:16
Speaker 1: rehab program from Michael in Tulsa. Hungarian Mike, the iconic
39:22
Speaker 1: Wendell Tyler. Good name there. Captain Crunch from Filler Up Phil.
39:27
Speaker 1: Henry Godwin. from Mad Jack. Jamal Lewis from the Baltimore
39:33
Speaker 1: Freeloader account. Do you have an answer, Lorena? Michael Myers. No,
39:39
Speaker 1: it's actually Priest-Holmes is the answer we were looking for. Priest-Holmes.
39:44
Speaker 1: Let's get back to it. It's Benny versus the Penny.
39:46
Speaker 1: Next game up, the Chiefs at 10-5. Or Chiefs at
39:51
Speaker 1: 10 at that point. Favorite, I should say. They're 2-0,
39:53
Speaker 1: not 10-5. That would be amazing if it were 10-5.
39:55
Speaker 1: There are 10-and-a-half-point favorites on the road against the 0-2 Dolphins.
39:58
Speaker 1: It's on CBS. Friend of the show Kevin Harlan and
40:02
Speaker 1: Trent Green have the call. 83 degrees, partly cloudy at
40:05
Speaker 1: kickoff here. And the fun fact on this game, Patrick
40:09
Speaker 1: Mahomes has started five career games as a double-digit road favorite.
40:15
Speaker 1: And while the Chiefs have won all five of those games,
40:18
Speaker 1: not one time has Mahomes been able to cover the spread.
40:22
Speaker 1: He's yet to win a game against the spread. Double-digit
40:26
Speaker 1: favored on the road. And believe it or not, I'm
40:29
Speaker 1: going to take the Dolphins in this game. There's only
40:31
Speaker 1: one way to bet. We bet on every game. I
40:34
Speaker 1: wouldn't bet this game. We have to pick every game.
40:36
Speaker 1: So I'm going to take the points. Dolphins are terrible.
40:39
Speaker 1: They should lose every game. Double-digit underdog at home. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.
40:46
Speaker 1: And the Dolphins, I'm going to likely need a garbage
40:49
Speaker 1: time cover in this game. The Chiefs, it's rather easy.
40:53
Speaker 1: Come out, jump out to a 24-7 lead at halftime,
40:56
Speaker 1: and then you're just running out the clock in the
40:58
Speaker 1: second half. The Penny Picks. Quickly, Patty. The Penny Picks.
41:02
Speaker 1: The Dolphins. All right. We agree on that. Broncos, a
41:06
Speaker 1: two-and-a-half point underdog at home against the Rams. It's on
41:11
Speaker 1: NBC Sunday Night Football. 82 degrees in Denver on Sunday night.
41:16
Speaker 1: And believe it or not, I don't trust the Rams yet.
41:19
Speaker 1: That game was a throwaway because Jackson Dark got hurt
41:21
Speaker 1: the other day. I'm going to take the Broncos plus
41:23
Speaker 1: the points. I hope I'm wrong. I need to see
41:26
Speaker 1: more from the Rams to convince me they're back. The
41:28
Speaker 1: penny picks. The Rams. All right, the Rams. Next up, Eagles,
41:34
Speaker 1: four-and-a-half point road favorite against Chicago. Bears don't have a quarterback.
41:38
Speaker 1: It's on ABC with Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. No quarterback,
41:42
Speaker 1: no bet. I'm going to take the Eagles. I'll lay
41:44
Speaker 1: the four-and-a-half points. And the penny picks. The Bears. The Bears.
41:50
Speaker 1: Don't let me down, Jalen Hurts.