Latest / Decisions, Decisions / Different Apps, Same Bad Decisions feat. Cruising Confessions

Transcript

Different Apps, Same Bad Decisions feat. Cruising Confessions · Decisions, Decisions

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: if you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: a terrible.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Throuple, guess what? You've got decisions. Hey everybody, it's Wheezy.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: It's Mandy, it's Chris, it's Gabe. I'm going to intro
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: them for you because today is not a YGD episode.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: It's not really a bonus episode. It's not a Horrible
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Decisions episode. We're with Chris and Gabe from the Sniffies podcast.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: If you're a Horrible Decisions subscriber, you heard all of
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Chris's tea that married me in London, who he was
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: fucking on. Mandy and I was in the camera like this.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: And you heard of a really good cruising story on
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: a subway train.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Babe, Gabe got to come with the shit. So their
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: show is called Nippy's Cruising Confessions, which is why we
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: got to talk about cruising. And today we're just going
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: to explore the similarities between straight and queer dating culture.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Chris goes by Babe Them. Gabe goes by He Him.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: That is important to know because we might fuck it up. But.
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: I'll take a respectful she. That's fine.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: What we back the fuck up today is the educational part.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: So while we're talking about sexual liberation, we want to
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: talk about the fun stuff. See how my Freudian slip?
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: The fun sex.
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: The complicated stuff.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: We want to educate each other and we want to
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: talk about owning your health. Let's talk about the fun
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: shit first. So Gabe, right off the top, you done
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: heard this man's tea. Y'all done already talked about it.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: You know about that man. I want to know... What
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: is the story that's going to make everybody, because we're
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: one minute and 20 seconds in, what is going to
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: make them go, what the fuck, and subscribe to Sniffies
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: right now?
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: Okay, absolutely. Wow, wow, wow.
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: The very first episode Chris and I ever recorded together,
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: and mind you, Chris and I have met maybe twice
• 1:45
  Speaker 5: auditioning for the Sniffies podcast.
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: We knew of each other.
• 1:47
  Speaker 5: We knew of each other, but we finally met. We
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: just clicked on camera, so we've been besties ever since.
• 1:52
  Speaker 5: Thank you, Sniffies, for hooking us up. But the first
• 1:54
  Speaker 5: time Chris and I are on set together, have never read,
• 1:57
  Speaker 5: have never done, you know, never had the rapport on camera.
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: We're sat down with a man whose face has to
• 2:02
  Speaker 5: be blurred in the edit because he doesn't want to
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: show his face and whose voice has been modulated. And
• 2:08
  Speaker 5: this man utters in front of us, like five minutes
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: in the first episode of the podcast, he utters in
• 2:11
  Speaker 5: front of us, if there's one thing I've learned as
• 2:13
  Speaker 5: a cum dump, it's to never trust a fart. When
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: I tell you Chris and I grabbed each other's thighs
• 2:19
  Speaker 5: at like the same time. And I was like, We're
• 2:23
  Speaker 5: going to get along great. We have gone head first
• 2:27
  Speaker 5: into the dark room of queer sexual culture, and there's
• 2:31
  Speaker 5: no turning back.
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: Hold on, hold on.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you can't stop there.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: You're calling it queer sexual culture? But as, I guess
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: I'm queer. Well, as a woman who does anal, I
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: know that a fart during a cum dump can get splashy.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: Is that what's happening? It's giving squirt, but out the
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Buddha hole.
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: That's what I think this man was alluding to. That's
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: what he was alluding to, right? Using his words creatively,
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: I think. It's a great refrain.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Man, let me tell you something. When Gilead does a
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: fucking sponsor, do you think they said, this is who
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: we're getting to go? We say, we say, share that message.
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: What?
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: When I tell you Chris and I look at each
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: other every day, we're like, we're so glad Gilead is
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: still a sponsor.
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: He talks about shit crazy.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Oh, man.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: I want to actually elaborate for the straight people that
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: listen to Decisions Decisions. Now, mind you, we got the
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: straight boys, but they've been they've been in doctrine.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? Every time we had the
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: studs last week and now we have the they thems
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: and the gays. So specifically when Mandy just said, I
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: do anal. So I understand a cum dump may get messy.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Somebody listening somewhere in buttfuck nowhere still doesn't know what
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: the fuck she's saying. And I didn't say buttfuck to
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: be funny and punny. Let's walk through this. Chris, you
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: take it away.
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: Oh, gosh.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: Where do we even begin? Anal sex is where you
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: have penetrative sex where your poop comes out of. Male, female, they, them, whatever. Right?
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: There's that. A cum dump. And I got this wrong
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: in the podcast the last time. The girls came for me.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: You got it wrong.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: A cum dump. They're like, you got it wrong. And
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: I was like, okay, first of all, relax. Like... A
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: cum dump is... Now, Gabe, if I start saying it
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: wrong again, please correct me.
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: I'm not the Encyclopedia Britannica. You're going to have to
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: go on your... You're going to have to trust your
• 4:27
  Speaker 5: heart on this one, baby.
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: Is when a receptive person... Yes. takes lots of cum
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: in their body, whether it be vaginally or anally.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, did you think a cum dump can only be
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: a man? Is that why you got it wrong?
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: No, I... Yeah, what did you get wrong about it?
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: As a person who's like getting gang banged and less
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: about someone who's just a cum dump, who is just
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: a receptacle for cum. Oh. Does that make sense? Yeah.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Now, curious about that, because I have been, I don't
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: even want to tell y'all my algorithm because we don't
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: need to go there.
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: Just send a screenshot in the group chat.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Listen.
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: We don't judge. We don't judge. God knows we don't.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: So here's my curious thing, right?
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: Like, Clearly, maybe in lifestyle and kink, BDSM, this is
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: a thing for women. I've seen it way more heavily
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: in the gay queer community. But if someone is taking
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: on all of this cum, are these cum dumps normally
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: on PrEP? Is it a conversation around who they're letting
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: dump in them? Especially because now you're receiving someone's fluids, right?
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: So I think conversations around PrEP when receiving, you know,
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: being on the receiving end is a lot more easy
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: to have in the queer community than it is just
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: the straight community, right?
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: And so would we assume that they're on PrEP for
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: the most part?
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: Well, we've talked about this a lot on the pod, right?
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like everyone should be on PrEP. No
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: matter what type of sex you're engaging in, you should
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: just be on PrEP. Yeah. Full stop. That's the message.
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: When we're talking about some of these more riskier behaviors,
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: like being a cum-dump, one would hope that someone is
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: taking care of their bodies in a way that they'd
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: want to be on prep and also taking care of
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: the other people that they're going to be engaging with,
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: who they may never know their names. But I think
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: a lot of it is, like, you have to take
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: the responsibility on yourself, right?
• 6:35
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: Like, I want to take care of myself, so I'm
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: going to do this thing to protect me. And then
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: I don't really have to worry too much what everyone
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: else is doing with their own bodies because I know
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: that I'm taking care of my own.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: It's interesting, though, because just because of the myths around it,
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: I did also do some research, too. You are more
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: at risk when you are receiving through anal.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Then you are vaginal.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: Apparently, it's a little bit more difficult to get through
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: the vaginal walls, even if you are a cum dump.
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: But I agree.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: I mean, we've been talking about how important it is
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: to for women. And even if you're dealing with hetero
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: men or whatever type of sex you're having, just be upright,
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: because there is a way to get it in many
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: different ways, you know? Totally.
• 7:19
  Speaker 5: And I think to Chris's point, like all sex is
• 7:22
  Speaker 5: taking a calculated risk.
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean? Even if you use a
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: call of it, that's a calculated risk. Right. And so
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: I think.
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: What is nice about PrEP is that it has given
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: us an extra layer of protection to help mitigate that risk, right?
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: And I don't want to say that PrEP has caused
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: more cum dumps to occur, but I do think.
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: I'm not saying that.
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: But I think when you have the things, more tools
• 7:47
  Speaker 5: to protect you, you are more willing or feel safer
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: to explore the sexual fantasies and scenarios that you are
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: interested in, right? So I do think we've been seeing
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: a lot... And anecdotally, I have been seeing more cum
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: dumps on sniffies and that word used more socially. And,
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: you know, it feels like it dovetails with a lot
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: of things that are helping protect the community prep being
• 8:08
  Speaker 5: one of them for sure.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: One of the things I was going to mention that
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: I noticed between myself and my gay male friends specifically,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: because most of the time gay men have the language
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: about prep. They always seem to feel this is in
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: my super ho years. I had a cape as well.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: They always seem to feel more relaxed in moments of pure,
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: you know, just like hedonistic pleasure. Like if we were
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: out and meeting someone, and again, women oftentimes have more
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: at risk with men beyond just sexual health, right? So
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: it's very nerve wracking to get in the car and
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: to do stuff. But I always felt like my gay
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: male friends felt so protected at the fact that they
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: knew they had prep. They also talked about doxy pep.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: And I didn't even understand that at the time. Like
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: my best friend would talk about this pill he had
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: and he had to take just in case. And I
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: never knew what the fuck he was talking about. I
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: think the fact that now straight women, I mean, we're
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: not straight, but we fuck, we fuck men. That we're
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: having the language about prep. It makes everybody feel like
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: the conversation is, are you fucking DL men? Are you
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: fucking men that have sex with men? Like we forget
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: HIV has no discrimination here.
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: Correct. Or gonorrhea or chlamydia or anything else, right?
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: Or any of those things, yeah.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I guess I want to get to the more, like,
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: complicated part then, right? Like, in the dating hookup culture...
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: How is it with asking about when was the last
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: time you got tested? Are these conversations also maybe happening
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: more with you guys? I know like for me, I
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: have been someone who dates couples. I'm very lifestyle. I've
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: also dated sex workers. And so it's been so easy
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: to have conversations with them about getting tested.
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: Not to sound like a military person and call people civilians.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: But the civilians who are literally just out here living
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: life in their just most traditional form, these conversations.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Are being had less.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: And a lot of my friends have actually made me
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: feel dirty for getting tested so often, having conversations around
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: getting tested.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: I dated a couple one time and.
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: They literally didn't want to move forward with having sex
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: till we all had recent results.
• 10:30
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: And I remember even.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: Being shamed by my friends because they were like, ooh,
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: now why do you need that? And so how do
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: you kind of make that sexy.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: In the dating and hookup culture?
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: I think it's inherently sexy. I think there's nothing sexier
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: to me because it means that you take care of
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: your body. You understand your body is a temple, right?
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: And so you're doing all the things. I want to
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: make sure that I'm the best version of myself to
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: show up for this sexual experience. So that means I
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: get tested every three months, and I hope that you
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: get tested every three months as well. Yep. Get new friends. Oh,
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: my God!
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Do you notice that the whole friends low-key... be like
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: understanding the testing. Why is it not straight? The normie friends?
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: It's the normies.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: Luckily we have our whore hive. So we've been talking
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: about this enough, but it's just like, no, I want
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: to call them normie friends because even the hoes ain't
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: getting tested like that.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: Like it's the people that, no, they're not like, you
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: know what I mean?
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: Like they're just, they're not doing it.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: And so it's just, I don't know.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: I think that this does having these conversations should make
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: you a little bit more, you know, prone to having
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: them with whoever you're dealing with.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: And like you said, Chris, I know you said make
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: new friends.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: Nothing turns me off from a guy more than like
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: them acting like they haven't been to the doctor and
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: they don't know how long.
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: Excuse me. You good?
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I'm good.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Babe, what?
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: I'm good on that. Thank you so much. You can wait.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Is that a straight guy thing? Is that a straight
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: guy thing?
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: No. I don't think so.
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: I do feel like straight monogamous people or people who
• 12:18
  Speaker 5: date monogamously have this idea in their head that was
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: like implanted by Ronald Reagan in the 80s.
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: That like they are immune to HIV. You know what
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: I mean?
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: And it's like how many different campaigns, how many ads,
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: how many like You know, how much published research from
• 12:32
  Speaker 5: scientists do we need to let people know that it's
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: not just the cum dumps that are, you know what
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: I mean?
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: Like, it truly does not discriminate.
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: And it's like we've had to fight back for decades
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: and decades against the stigma that it's just for gay people.
• 12:46
  Speaker 5: And now we realize that HIV does impact wider communities.
• 12:48
  Speaker 5: But now everyone's got in their head that it's just
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: for sluts.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, Dave, I know they don't like him,
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: but Tyler Perry got a whole movie. Tyler Perry made
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: a whole movie about this.
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: Wait, what movie? She got.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: She ended up cheating on.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: Her husband with this very, very rich, wealthy man and
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: ended up getting HIV from him.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: Have I watched them all?
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: Did y'all not see this?
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: No.
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: I don't know if I want to, but I'm fascinated.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: Maybe I don't... First of all, you know he was
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: on a damn boat with his boyfriend.
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: It is literally... Yo, I just saw that today. I said...
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: Near his mansion in Puerto Rico.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Kissing is fake. But did you know that the boyfriend
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: was married to Mariah Carey? Now, I want him to
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: hire us one day for something when he starts an
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: arm of a podcast company or something. But at the
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: same time. I feel like he's already on prep, so
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: that's why I brought him up.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, but if you guys also want to
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: know the movie.
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: If he's not, he's playing games.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: The movie came out in 2013. It's called Temptation, Confessions
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: of a Marriage Counselor.
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's right.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: Lance Gross, Vanessa Williams, Kim Kardashian is in it. And basically,
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: she's a marriage counselor.
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: Not the love, actually, of the Tyler Perry universe.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: And after having the affair, she contracts AIDS.
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God. Wow.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: You know, leave it to.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: Tyler Perry, babe.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: Because you know what it is with them movies. They
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: got to take it up a notch more and more
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: and more. Speaking of up a notch, let's get into
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: the education. What can straight people and queer people learn
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: from each other? And I would specifically want to say,
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: I think one of the worst things that the gay community,
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: men specifically, app specific does, where is the hello in
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: the fucking message? Where's the hello?
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: Into?
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: Into. That's it? Hello, good morning.
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: Oh, see, an into I hate. An into sucks. An
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: into is never getting a response from me because it's
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: all in my bio. It's like, why did I fill
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: this out?
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Now, what does into mean?
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: It's in my profile. Who knows? Exactly. Exactly. And so
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: I give you a range of things in my profile
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: that I have filled out. And I say it at
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: the end of my profile. I was like, I really
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: appreciate people who've read my profile. It's very clear when
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: you don't for a myriad of reasons that I just
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: put lots of little Easter eggs in there. And so like,
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: if you come at me in any type of way,
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: it means you have not read my profile. Like, and so,
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: and then usually just get blocked You're one of.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: Those, Chris. You're one of those. Read my profile.
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: Well, because like I understand that the pictures are pretty,
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: like because imagine. But I'm also like I'm I'm I'm
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: more than just a pretty face. Look, when you apply
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: to a job, you don't just look at the logo. OK,
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: you read the job description and then you tailor your
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: resume to that job description. And then you send references.
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: You send credentials. You send samples of your work.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: Wait, are the samples nudes?
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: They might be. Depends on what your best friend is.
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: My Instagram is linked. So you have a full... My
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: Instagram is linked.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Your Instagram is linked.
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: Of course.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: So that means that you... Okay. See, this is why
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: girls can never do this. We want to swipe you
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: left already. And now you're telling me I'm giving you
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: open access to the DM?
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: Oh, see, now this is a different type of app.
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: This isn't Hinge. This isn't Tinder. This is for honching.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: Hello.
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: This is for heated fellowship. You know what I mean?
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: This is not for... Okay.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: I'm not looking for a partner on these things.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: And that's the thing, right?
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: When we get on dating apps, they'll let you know
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: what they're looking for. I know there's apps like Field
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: that you can lean into what you're into kink-wise. On
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: the dating apps for the gays, do they put.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Like the last time they've been tested.
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: Yes. Like, is that something that's common? Yeah.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: So this has actually become, and this is a lot
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: of work on behalf of activists and people that work
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: in the HIV AIDS education sphere. I think almost every
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: major gay dating app across the board now includes fields
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: on your profile to include when you were most recently tested,
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: what your HIV status is, if you'd like to disclose that,
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: and what forms of protection you prefer. Wow. Condoms, PrEP, DoxyPep.
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: And it's great because it helps you cut to the chase, right?
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: And if you don't see that information, it's something you want,
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: you ask.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: That is incredible.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: And I actually kind of wish they would put that
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: and encourage that on the more hetero dating apps. Because
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: it would normalize it so much.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: Does it have more?
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: It has testing reminders. So it's like, oh, it's been
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: more than three months. It's time for you to get
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: tested again. Wow.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: So, you know how my friend.
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: That is blaring at me right now because I'm due
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: for a test, but I'm getting it done on November 6th. So, like, relax.
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: It's not like election day. Election day and test day.
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: Jesus, why are y'all yelling at me?
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Before I was in a relationship, one of my homegirls
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: and I, we get our periods at the same time.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: And we used to get tested at the same time.
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: Oh, I love that.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: And it was actually really fun because she lives in Atlanta.
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: And she'd hit me sometimes and be like, okay, bitch,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get that coochie swab. And I'd be like, oh. Because, okay,
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: here's the thing. We get blood tests, but also we
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: can get cultures, which means you get that. It's so uncomfortable.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: I can't even tell you to sit back. Even if,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck if you get fucked in
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: the ass. A colonoscopy is still uncomfortable. Okay?
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: Well, you can sit back there, open them legs. And
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: then sometimes, you know, you got to wait 24 hours.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Don't get it done on a Friday. You ain't going
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: to get it till Monday.
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: That's why I never go on a Friday.
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: So I like to say things that are so ridiculous
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: and I know the answer to that. The second that
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Q-tip comes out of my pussy, I'm like, how does
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: it smell?
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: Everything.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: We're thinking we're all right.
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: Are we?
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Because I was fucking with that nigga from Williamsburg and
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: he got, you know, the dirty artist look.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: Are we good?
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: Are we good?
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Here's the problem for us. Sometimes if you're super wet,
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: the condom be rotting up the tip of the dick
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: and then I'll be thinking, oh my God, now I got.
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: Okay. It happened to me once. I.
• 18:56
  Speaker 5: I was hooking up with someone who had a pussy
• 18:58
  Speaker 5: and we were hooking up and I pulled out and
• 19:00
  Speaker 5: I was like, oh, my God, where'd the condom go?
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: And they just.
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: So, Gabe, you know how you started the episode off
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: with y'all's one of your first episodes.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: Our first episode is literally about a missing condom.
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: Where the condom came out during sex. I decided to keep.
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: Going because it's already lost.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: So here we are. And then it got stuck for
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: two days.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: So our first episode is Weezy and I going to
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: a gyno for them to remove the condom out of
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: my bag.
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: See, I knew I should have gone to the very,
• 19:33
  Speaker 5: very beginning of the pod when I went to listen
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: to the episode. You know, you always start a story
• 19:36
  Speaker 5: at the beginning.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Okay, I have a very toxic role play that we
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: just did. It wasn't CNT, but... We were doing this
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: role play where I was like, oh, my God, we
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: shouldn't be fucking da-da-da-da-da. up breaking in laughter because both
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: of us aren't good at role play for some reason
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: we're fucking and i was like no you have to
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: get a condom he's like no i just want to
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: feel it one time and i was like okay but
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: you can't come with me and then he goes no
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: i'm gonna take care of it though i was like okay.
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: Get off of me.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: Because now I'm really thinking like, no, what bitch you
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: really said that shit to?
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: Screaming.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: What's gay role play like since we're talking about straight
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: versus gay?
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: Don't ask. please do that.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Well, no, but here's the thing.
• 20:25
  Speaker 5: You got, you got the come down from episode one
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: of our podcast, but then you also got Pete Buttigieg.
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 20:29
  Speaker 5: There's such a range of gay men. Like, I don't
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: think Pete Buttigieg does role play.
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean? I think Pete Buttigieg is like.
• 20:35
  Speaker 5: The Florence Henderson of the gay community. That man goes home. No, no, no.
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: In the gay community.
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: I mean, in the gay community, we just have a
• 20:43
  Speaker 5: range of different people.
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean? So it's like, Some people
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: might be doing that.
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: Some people might be into the kink of the role play.
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: But I have met some normie, normie gay men who
• 20:53
  Speaker 5: I swear to God, like they will even say they're like,
• 20:56
  Speaker 5: I'm just like normal. I happen to love men. And
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: I'm like, okay, all right, another one of these.
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: And you're a Republican? Yeah, well, I grew up in Florida,
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: so we get a lot of those. Me too.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: I grew up in Florida.
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: Orlando, Florida.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: That's like a Puerto Rican, Gabe.
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: Baby, right next to Kissimmee. What's up? Yeah. UCF? I
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: was thinking of.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: I want to get to the ownership of this.
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: How do we get to a point where testing becomes
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: a part of the experience of sex without it being
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: such a complicated-ass conversation?
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: Continue to have the conversation.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: I agree. I agree.
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: I think even the more I do talk to my
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: friends that you said shouldn't be my friends because they
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: shame me for getting... a lot of testing, I think
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: it's become a more common conversation for us to have.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: And, you know, they're a little bit more, more up
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: on their health too.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think for women, clearly it's, you know, fibroids,
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: it's breast cancer, all the things that happen with our
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: body without realizing that our sexual health is just as
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: important too, babe. And so if you can get that mammogram,
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: you can get that HIV test.
• 21:59
  Speaker 4: But I like, Not for nothing, I understand, like, when
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: we're talking about, like, healthcare and black and brown bodies. Hello. Oh,
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: there we go. If we're going to talk about it, like,
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: we have to name that thing, right? Like, there is... Oh, it's...
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: I know. I wish it was easy. You know what
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: I mean? Like, I wish it was just easy for
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: us to just go to the doctor. One, it's expensive. Yeah. Two,
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: access to quality care and care that people are going
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: to believe when we say that we're having a thing.
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: You know, like, why do we have to, like, bribe
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: our doctors to be like, I'm actually in pain and
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: I'm having a thing that's not, you know what I mean? Like,
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: why is that a reality? And so I can understand
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: why there's a lot of reluctance for us to go
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: to the doctor because it hasn't really been built into
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: the way that we move through the world. Oh, absolutely.
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: We say access and education all the time on the podcast, right?
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: It's like, how can we remove the barriers, the fear,
• 22:54
  Speaker 5: the monetary barriers that people have going to the doctor,
• 22:56
  Speaker 5: but also how can we educate people? Because it's like,
• 22:58
  Speaker 5: learning about stuff like syphilis, gonorrhea, if you don't find
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: it in community, you should be learning about it at
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: an age when you're having sex. So it's like, I
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: didn't have sex ed early on. I had a lot
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: of misconceptions about HIV. And so I think educating people
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: in high school, in college, as these things become relevant
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: to their lives is so, so important. So I think
• 23:16
  Speaker 5: the more we see sex ed getting taken out of
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: education and being defunded, the more we're going to see
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: people not only facing stigma for getting tested, but we're
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: going to see people not getting tested and spreading things
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: we do not want to spread because they don't know
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: enough about their sexual health. So I think it's like
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: it's those two things for sure, for sure.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: I was going to ask you, is there any stories
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: you guys could tell where I feel like we all
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: know the horror stories about maybe an interaction you've had
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: where someone did like have their results ready to go?
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Someone did have like a sexy conversation with you. I
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: always talk about this isn't related to testing, but years ago,
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: I fucked this guy while really drunk and I didn't
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: realize until the next day he was walking through consent
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: questions with me. So I was like trying to like,
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: we made a third or fourth date. I'm a third
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: date fucker. I tried to wait. So basically I was like,
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: I want to suck your dick. And he's like, do
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: you really, you really want to suck my dick? Like,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: or do you want to cuddle? Do you want to
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: lay down with me? Like he was trying to gauge.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: And then while I'm on the bed, he was like,
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: can I take your shirt off? Can I take your
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: panties off? Can I kiss you here? Can I touch
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: you here? And it felt like a game, but I
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: understood now it was really his version of seeking consent.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: And so I always talk about that because asking for consent,
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: like we're going to kiss you can sound dumb, but
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: he did it in a way that made me even wetter.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Do you guys have any stories when it comes to
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: maybe testing or results or prep or whatever that felt like.
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: Oh, okay. I mean, I love that. First of all,
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: I just want to like name how much I love that.
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: Like he was just collecting like yeses along the way.
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: Which is exactly because he knew that you were drunk
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: and he knew that like this. He just want to
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: make sure that you were OK with it the entire way.
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, I love that.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: Yes, because drunk sex can happen. Sober sex can happen.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: We can be completely sober, be uncomfortable. We could be
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: completely drunk and be uncomfortable. Consent can still exist at
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: every point. So I think like that's something collecting the yeses.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: I've never said that. I love that.
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: I mean, I work in sales for many, many months.
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: We're all about collecting the yeses. But, like, that's exactly
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: what that is. You're just collecting more yeses to make
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: sure that we're still on board the whole way so
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: that we can, like, close the deal. Yeah.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: What about you, Gabe? Anybody that's ever... Have you guys
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: had any, like, great stories like that? Or even someone
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: that had HIV that had to tell you about their
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: meds and it was, like, a smooth convo?
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: Hmm.
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: I have one.
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: This was like an early story when I moved to
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: New York. I met this like muscular silver daddy that
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: was like very much my type. I was like 21.
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: He was like 60.
• 25:51
  Speaker 5: And I was like, I want to fuck you. I
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: was like obsessed with the idea of hooking up with him.
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: And the first night we got together, I come over
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: to his place and he's like, just so you know,
• 25:59
  Speaker 5: I'm HIV positive. And I was like, OK, that's totally fine.
• 26:02
  Speaker 5: And at the time, PrEP had just come out, but
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: I wasn't on it. And so I was like, would
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: you mind if like the first time we fucked, we
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: used a condom like I know what I know about HIV,
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: but like, you know, I also like want to be
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: sure we're just getting to know each other. And he
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: was like, yeah, that's totally fine. And then we talked
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: about prep and you equals you, which is that if
• 26:17
  Speaker 5: you're undetectable, you're untransmissible. So he taught me about these things.
• 26:22
  Speaker 5: And then he was like, now that you know that
• 26:24
  Speaker 5: next time you come here, you can breed me.
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, my God. OK, great. So
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: like empowered me.
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: And then I was like, then now that you know this,
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: once you get on the thing that you need to
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: feel comfortable, come over and let's get dirty. And I
• 26:35
  Speaker 5: was like, what a nice idea. What a good journey
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: to a perfect end result.
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: I thought that was the best way to do it.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: In comparing the queer community to the more hetero community,
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: I think we have eons to get there before heterosexuals
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: respond to HIV in that way, which is why I'm
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: also glad we're having these conversations here because it has
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: been such a prevalent conversation recently.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: In the gay community for so long.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: I love that you could also still look at someone
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: as human, protect yourself, learn from it, and still be
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: completely attracted to that person. Because I do think that
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: there are still people that view it as a death sentence.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: And I mean, shit, the only person we have is
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: Magic Johnson and Cookie Never Got It.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: That's literally the only person we know. And maybe I
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: don't know.
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: I don't want to.
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: There was that one girlfriend's episode, but that was a
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: fictional character.
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: Oh, you remember?
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: They removed that episode.
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: They removed that episode because there was there was so
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: much stigma around the response to it.
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: They didn't even want him like cutting in the kitchen
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: or something.
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: Or he saw. Yeah. The response. They have it on
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: Netflix now.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: It amplified the response that. the heterosexual community has to HIV.
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: So they did actually end up removing that episode. But yeah,
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: like I think that the story you just told was
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: so beautiful because there are things that could keep you
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: from being undetectable.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: It could leave you from not transferring it to any
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: of your partners.
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: And there still is a safe way to go about
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: having sex, even with someone who has tested positive. So
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: I think that that's like a beautiful story for you
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: to even share because you weren't scared off.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: You decided to stay and you, took it as a learning,
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: you know, moment, which was amazing.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: I'm sad to say my first time, like, feeling destigmatized
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: was the first time I was attracted to somebody with HIV.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: I was around a woman at a dinner who talked
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: about it, and I was like, oh, I guess it's
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: not what I thought it was. Like, you know, you're...
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: We grow up thinking... drugs, needles, like, you know, there's
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: this look, you're on the street, like that, we're thinking
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: this strung out thing, and that's not necessarily what's going
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: on in today's era of HIV.
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah. That's interesting. I mean, I've been HIV positive since 2005,
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: literally most of my life, and it is interesting because
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: I tested positive in the midst of my crystal meth use,
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: and so... my connection to HIV positive folks is only
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: through connection to crystal meth. And so I didn't have
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: any like, Oh, references to sex one and two, to like,
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: to like safer sex. Like I never had safe sex
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: and I never had sex without drugs. And so, um, yeah, we,
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: there were never any conversations around like, safety and what
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: I should be doing and like, condoms, like, when I
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: started having sex at 15. So when I tested positive
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: at 20, I was surprised, but also not surprised because
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: I had been engaging in unprotected sex. And this was
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: the early 2000s when, like, you know, AIDS was still
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: a death sentence, essentially, right?
• 29:53
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: When it happened, I, like, Yeah, I, like, wasn't surprised,
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: but I also was, like, also very surprised. I don't know.
• 30:02
  Speaker 4: Because it's, like, you know, that thing of, like, a youth.
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: I was, like, I had the ego of a 19-year-old.
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: I was, like, there's no way I'm going to get it.
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: I feel like I'm.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: Not supposed to laugh, but that was.
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: But, like, it is. It is funny. Because it's, like,
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: I'm 19. You think... You're out of here fucking God
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: knows whoever without a condom, right?
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Chris, I thought that when I got pregnant at 16.
• 30:23
  Speaker 5: Yep.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: I was like, not me.
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: Not me, not me, not me, not me. And then, bitch,
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: all of a sudden, here I come. Oh, shit.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: How has it been for you then on the receiving
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: end of the response?
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: Ooh, it's been interesting because for the longest time, I sero-assorted,
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: which means I only had sex with people who were
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: HIV positive.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Okay. Is there a dating app for that?
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: No. Okay.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: No.
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: And this is before there were apps. This is before smartphones.
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: This is how old I am.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: This was back page days.
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: This is, yeah, like when we had websites to go
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: look for things. And so, I search with it. And
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: I only had, and it only hooked up with people
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: who were HIV positive as well. And then, you know,
• 31:09
  Speaker 4: as like PrEP and U equals U started coming around, like,
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: and smartphones, things started to change a bit. And so,
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: I put in my profile that I'm HIV positive. I'm
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: also undetectable and sort of let that happen. And in
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: the early days, it was definitely more people were still sero-sorting.
• 31:27
  Speaker 4: They were only hooking up with HIV negative people or
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: people who said that they were. But definitely over the
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: last 10 to 15 years, I mean, that has changed dramatically.
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: quite a bit. Like now I put it out there. Um,
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: I mean, it really, like to say that I don't
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: look at people's statuses. I don't look at people's statuses.
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: Like if I find you attractive and things work, then
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: I'm going to have sex with you. I'm not looking
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: to see whether, and I think the same thing is
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: true for me. I think every once in a while
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: I'll have someone who's like, Oh my God, I've never
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: hooked up with someone who's going to be positive. I
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: was like, well, Here's one thing I'm not doing to
• 32:05
  Speaker 4: you is I'm not lying to you. You know that
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: I'm going to be safe. You know that I'm absolutely
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: not going to be able to give it to you, right?
• 32:12
  Speaker 4: Whereas these other people who aren't on PrEP or aren't
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: really sure, that's a bigger risk for sure. So yeah,
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: it's been interesting, especially now that I'm in my 40s.
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: Have you had boyfriends?
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: So my best friend had been in a relationship with
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: someone for six years that was HIV positive and he
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: was on PrEP. And he told me, like, midway through
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: the relationship, and I didn't know. He's like, right, but
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: you have to understand, Weezy, like, I'm not consciously thinking
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: about it because I'm on PrEP. And he was on
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: PrEP before they met. Have you had boyfriends that had
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: to get on PrEP? Or wanted to because you guys
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: got serious or whatever?
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: Um....
• 32:53
  Speaker 4: Actually, yes. I will say yes. There have been boyfriends
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: of mine who have... And this is actually... Yeah. Yes. Yes.
• 33:04
  Speaker 4: The short answer is yes.
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: You're like, okay, no more of that story, babe.
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: Well, I was going to talk about that man from London,
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: and I was like, I'm not bringing him up again. No,
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: we can't bring him up again.
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: If y'all want to hear about the man from London,
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: check out Chris's episode on our Patreon.
• 33:20
  Speaker 5: When I tell you, I thought Chris had told me
• 33:21
  Speaker 5: everything there was to tell me, and I listened to
• 33:23
  Speaker 5: that episode of your podcast, Mouth a Gate.
• 33:26
  Speaker 4: I don't know that.
• 33:27
  Speaker 5: I don't know that person. Not that ho.
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: Absolutely.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: When he brought up Connecticut and the wife.
• 33:33
  Speaker 4: That's when I lost it.
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: That's when I was like, not you being the other
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: boy is mining with a woman from Connecticut.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: I know that I enjoy an episode very much. So
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: you guys, when Mandy and I record, we get sent
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: files and those get sent to our engineers, blah, blah, blah.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: It's just basically a website link. I know I'm into
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: an episode when I copy and paste it and send
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: it to my group chat, my homegirls. I'd be like...
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: My homegirls wrote me back and they were like, where
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: does he dance at? Where does he work at?
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: We need to hang with him.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: We need to buy his drinks and have him keep speaking. No,
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: you were back. Like, we need to be in harmony.
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: So, y'all, to wrap this up. Oops, I should not
• 34:11
  Speaker 4: have said that. You have to cut that.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: You have to cut that?
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: People won't come find me.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: People won't come find me.
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: There's going to be a couple of years.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: Maybe a little while.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: We're going to bleep it so they can know you
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: exposed yourself because when you told that story about fucking
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: on a train, that's exactly how I know people are
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: going to come find me. Matter of fact, we need
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: to blur your mouth. That's what we need to do.
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: Oh my God.
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: If the cops are listening, that was a joke and
• 34:36
  Speaker 5: it was exaggerated for entertainment value.
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: This is all for entertainment purposes right now.
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: 100%.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: Well, entertainment and education purposes.
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: I think, again, even being able to hear both of
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: y'all's experiences and, you know, us having these conversations so much,
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: especially throughout this past year, it's incredible that We are
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: normalizing and hopefully you guys are taking these conversations to
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: your group chat, to your partner, to your partners.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: To your lovers, to your friends with benefits, all the things.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: Because again, even if.
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: You are in a monogamous relationship with someone, you just
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: never know. And it's always best to just protect yourself.
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: You can't expect anyone to protect you more than you
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: will protect yourself. And so whether that's getting on prep,
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: whether it's continuously getting tested, whether it's being up on
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: your sexual health, The only way to make sure that
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: What's going on in your body is by protecting yourself.
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: Okay. Period.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: Period. This was great.
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: Gabe, Chris, where can they listen to more of y'all's
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: wild story?
• 35:42
  Speaker 5: Oh, yes, absolutely. Season four. Well, you can hear that
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: whenever you'd like, really. Chris is all over the Internet
• 35:49
  Speaker 5: doing it. You can listen to season four of Sniffy's
• 35:53
  Speaker 5: Cruising Confessions, which is out now.
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: We've also got some mini episodes with medical help experts.
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: We brought in Dr.
• 36:00
  Speaker 5: Dimitri Daskalakis, who's amazing, used to work at the CDC, quit,
• 36:04
  Speaker 5: is now doing amazing work with Callum Lord on a
• 36:05
  Speaker 5: few episodes.
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: And then, Chris, who is the other doctor from L.A.
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: we brought? We have N.P. Jake. Your future husband. I know.
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: Jake Collins?
• 36:14
  Speaker 5: Yes. Yeah, so they're like companion episodes.
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: I think of his Instagram name, it's Collins Jake, but
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: his name is Jake Collins.
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: So we brought them on to record companion episodes for
• 36:25
  Speaker 5: each episode. So if you're interested in like the health
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: behind the topics we're talking about, those are also out
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: with season four, which I'm really excited about.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: We have to get y'all to listen to the health part, okay?
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: It can't be all cum dumps and no health talk.
• 36:38
  Speaker 5: Well, it's a little cum dumps in the health episodes, too.
• 36:40
  Speaker 5: You know what I mean? We got some hot gay doctors.
• 36:43
  Speaker 5: We have hot gay doctors talking about sex. Like, cum
• 36:47
  Speaker 5: dumps are mentioned.
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: Okay, wait.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: Do you know what the straight girls want to know?
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: What?
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: They want to know, do y'all actually love heated rivalry?
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: Or is heated rivalry for the straight?
• 37:02
  Speaker 4: I'm so glad that you asked this question. I am
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: so glad that you asked this question. I could care less.
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: I'm hanging up.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: I would like to say goodbye.
• 37:14
  Speaker 4: No, I will say this. I could care less about
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: Ilya and what's his name? Oh, yeah, yeah. You like
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: the smoothie. The two main characters? I don't care about them.
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: I actually care about the cute, like, art history major and, like,
• 37:26
  Speaker 4: the other ones.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay. The one from the smoothie shop.
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: Yes. I care about that relationship.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: I turned into a hat. I started reading the fucking book.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Mind you, this is how I knew it was for
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: straight women. I didn't know that a woman wrote the series.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: And I was on the train reading the fucking book.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: And this dude looks at me who was like, girl.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: And he was laughing at me as if I was
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: reading Fifty Shades of Grey for Kiki.
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: I mean, because you are. You kind of are.
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: I mean, but I'm also not shocked because Lil Yachty
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: wrote for the City Girls.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: So here we are. And on that note, you know,
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: there we go.
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: Gender is nonconforming across the entertainment spectrum, okay?
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: Y'all, this episode of Decisions Decisions is sponsored by Healthy
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: Sexual from Gilead Sciences. Healthy Sexual also will tell you
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: where to get tested, all of that good stuff. It's
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: just a great resource. Even though I got insurance, I'll
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: still be using it. I'm not going to lie. Just
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: because I got to go to certain doctors because I
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: got the middle insurance. Healthy Sexual sometimes just gives me
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: people closer to my neighborhood. Planned Parenthood been tripping. So
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: you just, you never know. But for those of you
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: that live in the South, there's been 30 Planned Parenthoods
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: that have been closed down. So please head on over
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: to their website because you're going to find your new home.
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: And you could literally sign up and donate as little
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: as $ 25 a month, which I'm a part of. So again,
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: these are organizations that we need to help continue funding
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: because they are resources for us to get tested for free,
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: birth control for free, prep. They were the place where
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: I started getting my prep from.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: Cancer screenings. Yes.
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: Make sure you donate to these organizations that could help
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: all of us stay up on our sexual health. We
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: hope that you guys enjoy this and we hope that
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: y'all check out Snippies because they be having a time
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: over there.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Bye.
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: Thank you for having us.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: Bye.