Latest / Drawn of History / Joe Rogan Experience _1531 - Miley Cyrus(M4A_128K)

Transcript

Joe Rogan Experience _1531 - Miley Cyrus(M4A_128K) · Drawn of History

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: The Joe Rogan Experience.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Hello,
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Miley Cyrus. How are you?
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: I'm good, Joe.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: Pleasure to meet you.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: You also. I'm happy to be here.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: I'm happy to have you here. You have a fantastic voice.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Not just a singing voice, but your talking voice. It's
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: very unusual. It's like it makes you step back a
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: little bit.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Oh. I've actually, recently I was walking around in Boston
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: and I went to a museum and this like older
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: man walked up to me. I had no idea who
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I was. He was just enjoying the art also in
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: the museum and started talking to me forever about my voice.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: And then there was a college, some sort of trip
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: to the museum and then everybody started freaking out. And
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: it was so cool just to have someone stop me
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: about my speaking voice because that had never happened to
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: me before. I think because I was turned around and
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: I had the mullet so I could have been, you know, anybody.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: I could have been anyone.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: It's a heavy voice.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: It's a heavy voice.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: You didn't always have a heavy voice, though. Like when
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: my kids love Hannah Montana, by the way.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: So when I would watch your voice was different.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: It's definitely changed. I actually I kind of learned a
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: lot about the voice and how our experiences affect our voice.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: I had a surgery in November on my voice. I
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: had something called Reiki's edema, which when my doctor told
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: me about it, He said, no one shy ever has this.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: This is for abuse of the voice. This is for
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: people that talk way too fucking much. And usually this
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: happens when you're like in your 60s or 70s.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: How do I not have that?
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Mine, I think, honestly, really, I started touring, you know, at.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: probably 12 or 13 and not only was I the
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: adrenaline that you have after a show it's not really
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: the singing that affects your voice as much it's afterwards
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: you're totally on and then it's really hard to get
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: that sleep you stay up talking all night later the
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: talking all night turned into smoking all night and now
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: this is kind of where we're at we got some
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: dirt on her You know, the voice can be like
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: a face. It collects wrinkles and it tells a story.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: If you look at yourself and you go, oh, I
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: didn't have this until this trip. You know, I sat
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: out in the sun or I partied too much or whatever.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Your voice does the same thing. It collects dirt.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: It's very distinctive. Yeah.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Yes. It gives me a way. I mean, I'm pretty
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: much one of the only chicks in L.A. with a mullet.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: So that gives me a way also.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Well, you're not in the right neighborhood. There's plenty of them.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: I got to drive out to the desert, I guess.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Go out to Joshua Tree.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Find the chicks that are tripping.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah. With handmade tattoos.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I have a couple of those, too.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: But there's something very distinctive about a voice you earned.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: You know, it's true. It's kind of like, you know,
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: when you see somebody and and I think I think
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: especially being like a female in the industry, I think
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: growing up and changing and like kind of that there
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: is such a kind of stigma with aging. It's a
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: very kind of scary thing as a female in the industry.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: And I thought about it a lot and thought about
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: my voice. I actually had someone when I was doing
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: an interview a couple of months ago said, you know,
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: she sounds like she stayed up. all night smoking too
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: many darts. And I said, well, I fucking have. And
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: that's just the truth. And if you know that was
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: anyone else, you know, it's kind of like you're weathered
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: or you're aged or you've been through it. And, you know,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: we'll talk about it as we go. But over the
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: last year, I noticed a really big change in my voice,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: kind of a heaviness to it. And I experienced some
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: heavy things. And so I feel like it is a reflection.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: It is kind of a scar in a sense. But
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: also just by having the surgery was kind of a
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: gift also, because I was able to understand my instrument.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: No one ever explained that to me. You know, I
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: sat in a room with the piano and did scales
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: and shit, but no one taught me about how you
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: have longevity. You know, you are in here with athletes
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: all the time and recovery days are the most important days.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: I didn't get recovery days there. That was not important
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: for someone that was. making so much capital for such
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: a big corporation. Off days are days that money's not
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: coming in. And I definitely probably didn't get the training
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: that I needed to say, hey, you know what? I
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: don't want to do this till I'm 15. I want
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: to do this till I'm 80. And that wasn't always considered.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Definitely not complaining. It gave me an amazing launch pad
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: for everything I'm doing now. But I hear it.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: But it had to be really odd to be working
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: that much and be a young girl.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: The balance it trained me to have is something that
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I don't think you are going to get taught any
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: other way besides jumping in the deep end of the
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: pool and hoping you know how to swim. That's the
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: only way I there was no way I could have
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: prepared for the amount of balance I would have to
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: learn to kind of teeter. Because, you know, at one point, again,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: it went from it was school, then it went from,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: you know, how many, how much weed can I actually
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: smoke and still play a teenage superstar on the Disney channel?
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: And then like, and then like, what's the answer to
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: that question?
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: More than you would fucking think. Um, I remember one
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: time when, and I don't smoke anymore and I'm sober,
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: but I, I've been sober since the, pretty much the
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: vocal surgery kind of did it for me. Um, because
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: I just learned so much about the effects, which again,
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: you're just not taught. Um, It's not really the drinking.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: It's staying up all night. You know, once you have
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: your drink, you end up smoking. And I kind of
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I have I've become the face of a lot of
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: things kind of against my will, I guess, from my opinions.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: When you're someone in my position, your opinion becomes your identity.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: And it also becomes kind of almost like a. you
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: kind of become this like preacher, you become this, you know,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: they don't really let you just always have your own opinion.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: So I've decided to start telling people, I live my
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: own lifestyle. Alcohol was never my problem. There was other
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: things that I end up, you know, I like to
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: go up. So I now just avoid really drinking because
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I like to wake up at 110%. But it's never
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: really been my problem. And I could see myself having
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: a drink of celebration in the future. But I get
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: so fucking hungover now that I'm like, why would I
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: celebrate with just feeling like a volcano's erupted in my brain?
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: So it's really just a personal preference, but it's definitely
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: not anything that I promote in, I think it's a
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: lifestyle everyone should be, I think everyone should experiment. It's
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: a good time and you learn a lot of things
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: about yourself and the people around you, but now I'm watching,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I have younger siblings and they're going through that and
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know how my mom did it with me
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: because it's scary.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think, I think if we're going to
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: acknowledge the fact that all these things exist, cocaine exists,
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: pills exist, marijuana exists. We should teach people how to
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: do it right. Yeah. Really. I mean, you're leaving children.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: It's the same thing with sex, right?
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: We leave children to their– the information that they're going
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: to get is from other kids.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: And if you're learning about sex from another 14-year-old or
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: you're learning about coke from a 14-year-old, that's not good.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Like someone– we play this game with children where we
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: try to pretend– That, you know, they live in a movie.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Well, listen to this. It's actually funny you bring this
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: up because I had the idea this week. Not that
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: I really have time to do this in the near future,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: but I would like to at some point in my life.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: I want to do my own children's book series of
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: realistic movies. children's stories because I don't like the idea
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: that we teach them that this is sunshine world and
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: everyone walks out a rainbow and everyone's equal. And you
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: need to say like, that's not, what are you going
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: to do about it? That's not true. What are you
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: going to do about it? And I think there's a
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: way to not terrify children of life, even though I
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: go in and out of periods where I think life
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: is really overwhelmingly terrifying. Um, and that's coming from my
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: position and my position. I tell myself all the time,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: if you're not enjoying this life, Honey, you've got it
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: coming in the next one. Because I better fucking love
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: this life. It's the best one. I couldn't imagine being
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: in a different body and having a different experience.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: It's an awesome life if you do it the right way.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: It's an awesome life. And I also... I didn't hurt
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: myself beyond repair in my experiences. I survived. And I
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: don't even mean heart still beating survival. I mean, I
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: have a lot of people that love me around. I
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: didn't kick all the people that had my best interest
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: at heart out. That's where you die is you kick
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: everyone that says, hey— Are you okay? You know, out. No,
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: of course I'm okay. You don't trust me. Get the
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: fuck out. And so now that I have people that
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: I've had in my life, I feel that I have
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: people in my life that I've known for 15, 20
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: years and not many people in my position get to
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: say that. My parents are awesome. My dad's loopy as hell,
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: but I love him so much. He has no way
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: of ever hearing this, because my dad doesn't have Wi-Fi
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: or anything but a Blackberry, so I can tell you
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: what I got him for his birthday. My dad has
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: two Blackberries, which equal an iPhone. Which is not true,
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: but that's what he says. So for his birthday, he
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: said that he wanted to see if he could go
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: 365 days without eating pizza because he had never done
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: it before. So my dad has now gone a year
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: without having pizza. And my dad loves bubble baths. He's
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: going to kill me for saying this, but his country
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: ass loves bubble baths.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: That's hilarious.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: And so he loves to smoke his joint, eat his pizza,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: and get a bubble bath. So he said, that's what
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do for my birthday. So for his birthday,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I've organized a five-foot pizza to be delivered to his
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: farm so he can have all he can eat. And
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: I'm the pizza delivery person on the box. I had
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: someone draw it where it's me with my tongue out
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: and a mullet delivering the pizza. And I got a
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: bathtub on Craigslist and I put it, my dad has
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: 500 acres. So I put it in the middle of
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: the farm filled with bubble gum, just like my music video.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: And so my dad's going to have a bubble gum
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: bathtub and a five foot pizza for his birthday.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: That's adorable.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: That's next week.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: I like the fact that he has no wifi and
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: no internet.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: No wifi, no internet. Every now and then he'll drive
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: to my uncle's house to FaceTime us every now and then.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Wow.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: He has to make a drive to FaceTime.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: It's not far. All of us are just like, my
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: dad's kept us a pebbles throw away for sure. We
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: all live on property. We all live really close to
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: each other.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: So if you did this thing, like if you really
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: decided to do children, books, like realistic children's books, like
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: how would you do that? Would you get a ghost
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: author and sort of come up with the ideas of
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: what you were trying to get across to kids? What
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: would you wish somebody told you?
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: I like that you mentioned that no one talks to
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: us about drugs. I know this is going to be
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: controversial to introduce drugs to kids. I think that there's
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: a way, and I have to think about it. Wayne Coyne,
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: who's a good friend of mine, and I did the
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Dead Pets record with him. Flaming Lips have been my
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: favorite band since I was in fifth grade. And he's
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: obviously an amazing artist. And he just had his first child.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: A year and a half years old. He's 60. He
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: just had a baby. They're coming to visit me right now.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: And I would have him do all the illustrations. So
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: it stays in that kind of surrealist world. Because I
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: think that's what would get the kids to want to
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: read this book is that the illustrations are still surreal.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: And I like that about children's books. But I do
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: think that we do need to talk about, you know, equality.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: And I do think there needs to be diversity in
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: children's books. And I think also, we just need to
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: talk about the fact, I was actually happy to talk
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: to you today, because I didn't get to do therapy today,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: because I would be with you. But it's kind of
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: the same thing. And I was talking to him. And
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: I said, you know, sometimes it scares me that I'm
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: too tough. And I feel like, I'm not jaded and
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: I'm not cold, but I feel too tough. And he goes, well,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I'm proud of that because life is tough. And it's
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: not to get hard.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: What do you mean by that? What do you mean
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: by you feel like you don't like that you're too tough?
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: I feel that I worry sometimes that I can get
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: over things easily. I don't fall to the floor and
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: crawl up in a ball the way that I used to.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: And I think that's a part of me growing up.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: I recently just went through a very public divorce that
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: fucking sucked. What really sucked about it wasn't the fact
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: that me and someone that I loved realized that we
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: don't love each other the way that we used to anymore.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: That's OK. I can accept that. I can't accept the
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: villainizing and the just all those stories that like it's
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: just amazing to me that the public kind of thinks
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: that there's no gap of time that they didn't see
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: that could possibly be what led to this. Like it's not.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: One day you were happy on the carpet and the
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: next day you were making out with your friend in Italy.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: What the fuck? Well, there was a lot of time
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: in between that that you didn't see. It didn't go.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: I didn't like, I didn't, you know.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you can't rely on someone else's narrative, right? No.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Especially someone who doesn't know you. You really shouldn't even
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: read what people write about you.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Well, what's crazy is my dad, again, you know, my
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: dad's been a real figure in my life. And my dad,
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: when he got his Grammy nomination, he wore a, he
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: went to the Grammys in a John 316 shirt and
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: he didn't get the Grammy nomination. And the next day,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: the New York Post, someone put, even God can't save
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Billy Ray Cyrus and his career. And he was sitting
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: next to Johnny Cash. They were going to something. I
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: have a Johnny Cash tattoo that was handwritten to my
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: dad from around that time. And he said, what the hell?
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: Just like you say to me right now. You're my
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Johnny Cash. You know, he said, what the hell are
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: you doing reading that? And my dad said, I just
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: never really picked up the paper again. But again, my
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: dad didn't buy that paper. It was just kind of
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: in your face.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: He should have thought that was funny.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: He does now. Now he just says, well, whatever, we'll
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: get Johnny Cash to come and sit next to me
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: and talk to me. Now he loves it. And it's
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: been really good to have him go before me. You know,
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: it's kind of that buddy system. I think it'd be
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: really scary if I wouldn't have been able to see that.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: But to your point of, I don't click on this shit.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: You know, it comes into my life by, if I
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: walk by a magazine stand, which I like to walk
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: on the street and it says like, Miley's on drugs
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: and pregnant. And then I think one of those things
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: are true, but not the other. Fuck you for lying
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: about me.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's all they have. I mean, when someone's
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: in the public eye and someone's as prominent as you are,
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: you become a way for them to access money.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: That's all you are.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Clickbait advertisement. And I totally get it. It's that unprogramming of... Also,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: I think what's interesting sitting here with you is that
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: all of this is kind of new. I mean, even
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: just like the idea of podcasts, what I used to
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: do when it was like promo time for a new record. Okay,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: so I'm 12 years old and I'm printing physical copies
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: of my album. So I have to write my fucking music,
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: you know, six months before you actually. So I just
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: did Dolly's new album for Christmas and I had to
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: record a Christmas song in July. It was the weirdest
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: thing I've ever done in my life. But when you
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: make physical copies, that's what you do. And you're telling
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: a story from always being behind, especially when it comes
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: to the media. So now what I love about this,
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: what I love doing, you know, a show like yours
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: is like we talk about it right now. And people
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: hear it right now, so you're getting the real information.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: You're not getting information from, all right, I shot a
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: magazine cover. I did an interview. I was la-la in
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: love with my boyfriend. I mean, that literally happened when
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: I did Vanity Fair. I flew there like a week
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: after I had gotten married. By the time the damn
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: thing was on the stands, I was divorced. It was
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: old news. It was like, come on. You're really not
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: able to tell your story in real time, and that's
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: what I love about the new way that music is
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: happening and streaming. And I love the idea that like,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: I threw up that Flamin' Lips record I did on
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: SoundCloud and it was like, you know, no one had
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: to buy it or I sound 105, but it's very
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: exciting because I really hated always being behind myself. And
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: I think that's what now I can use my art
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: as my kind of, I guess the way that I
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: can talk to the, the press isn't what bothers me.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: It's kind of the public, you know? And I got
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: in this habit where when people would meet me, because
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: I didn't get in the habit, it just became a
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: thing that happened constantly, was I'd meet someone and they'd go, man,
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: you're not as crazy as I thought you'd be. And
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: I'm like, thank you. I don't know what you thought
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: I'd be doing right now, if you thought I'd be
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: in Space Buns dropping acid or something, but people say
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: that to me all the time, that I'm not as
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: crazy as they thought I would be, and that's just
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: a weird thing to say to someone.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but the public image, like what they sold of you,
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: you know, here you are, Hannah Montana, and then all
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: of a sudden you're this very sexual singer and you're
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: doing all this crazy stuff and you're on television shaking
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: your ass and everybody's seeing that and they're like, oh,
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: Miley Cyrus is out of control now. So then that
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: becomes the narrative, right?
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: It's funny when people make the narrative when you become
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: in control that now you're out of it.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: That was always really interesting to me.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: Well, it's also youth, right? Like, think about the marriage thing, right?
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: You say Vanity Fair, they write the article, you're deeply
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: in love. By the time it comes out, you're already divorced.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: That's so Hollywood.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: I mean, to them, that's like, oh, we've seen this
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: fucking story before. Yeah. We know where this is going. Also,
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: you're a child star. Oh, shit. We've seen this story before.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: And so you get stuck in that narrative, too, right?
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: Because they want you to fall down the exact same path.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: They don't want you to reinvent yourself.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: It's a familiar path.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: Yes. Well, then they'll spell it out for you. This
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: is what she's doing. She's on drugs and she's pregnant.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: I've had to. Now I don't read those types of things,
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: but I've had to. unlearn that they're not true. Because
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: sometimes I write things down when I want something to
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: get put into my head. Even if I'm going to
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: have a hard conversation with somebody, usually I kind of
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: write a little mini script for myself. So I kind
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: of know where I don't like going into something with
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: no direction. Where do I want this to go? What
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: are my goals? What do I want? That's what any
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: of your athletes would do. It's like, I know that
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: I have that as an artist. I want to have
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: a long career. I have to do the things to
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: be able to have that longevity. And so I would
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: write down you know, kind of an idea of where
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: I'd want conversations to go, even with the people in
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: my life and what do I want out of them.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: And I had to stop going, hey, just because they
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: wrote that down, it's true. Because something about writing it
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: down gives a lot of power. I don't like to
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: write down things that I don't mean. That's why I
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: don't write songs that I hate. Once you write it down,
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: they are like alive.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: So what you're saying is that like reading things that
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: other people wrote about you made you think that those
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: things were real. So it fucked with your own personal narrative. Yes.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I'd be trying to prove something that I didn't
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: need to prove. Like all of a sudden I'd be
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: trying to prove that I'm not crazy when I knew
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: I wasn't crazy.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I just think also, I mean, when we're talking
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: about realistic children's books, I think the stigma that kind
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: of surrounds, you know, youth growing up, rebelling and then craziness.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: And then what's the line between that and mental illness? And,
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: you know, I do have some kind of genetic family
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: history of alcohol. I mean, that totally gets erased when
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: you're a celebrity. It's like Hollywood did this to you.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: It's like, no, dude, my great grandma was an alcoholic.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: You know, my granddad was an alcoholic. My grandma's an alcoholic,
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: you know, so I I obviously had it wasn't Hollywood,
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: you know, it's genetic.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: I think for you, I mean, I don't think there's
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: anything wrong with writing a book and writing a realistic
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: children's book. But I think you could do a lot
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: of good by just making little YouTube videos. You make
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: little YouTube videos just talking and explaining, hey, this is
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: what I did and this is where I fucked up
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: and this is why you shouldn't do it this way.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: These are the drugs you got to be really careful about.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: These are drugs that are really dangerous. And look, if
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: you want to have like one drink, you want to
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: have one drink, just have one fucking drink.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: If you can.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: If you can. Yeah. If you want to smoke weed,
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: take a hit.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: Like don't get crazy. Yeah. Like figure this out. Like
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: you can have a good experience on marijuana or you
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: could fuck up your life and have a schizophrenic breakdown.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: And that's one thing that I felt like, you know,
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: when I was smoking weed, like my mom, all the
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: weed that I don't smoke, she takes care of. Both
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: my parents. So I have nothing against weed. My whole
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: family is a bunch of stoners. I just felt like
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: when you're talking about kind of some of the episodes
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: that they can kind of bring on, I maybe have
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: a little some of those kind of tendencies already.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: And that's something that people who love marijuana don't like
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: to talk about. No. And I'm pretty adamant about discussing that.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: I know people that have lost their fucking mind. Me too.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: Particularly on edibles.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: I know some people that literally became schizophrenic from edibles.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: And I really like looking at... I like looking at
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: facts like that. And I don't know, you know, I
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: do think that there are, I like, I like information.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: I'm a real, I love to process new information. I
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: love to receive new information. I love to go.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: How do you get your information? Are you a person
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: who reads? Do you watch documentaries?
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: I read and I kind of, I was going on a,
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: I was going on a trip when I was maybe
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: 17 years old and I was walking through the airport
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: and I saw a book that said, Change Your Brain,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: Change Your Life by Dr. Daniel Amen, who's now been
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: my therapist for 10 years. And I couldn't get on
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: this plane. I was having a full anxiety attack. I
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: was smoking a lot of weed. I was taking a
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: lot of shrooms.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: I was 17.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: 17, smoking a.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: Lot of weed and taking a lot of shrooms.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Taking a lot of shrooms. And I started getting a
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: little cray-cray. Don't recommend that. Doing some things with, you know.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: causing some fights with my boyfriend that were unnecessary. They
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: got heightened. I remember one time I wrecked my car
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: into my gate and I said, this is all your fault.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: I was the one driving the damn car. How is
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: this your fault? I did not have a great idea
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: of reality at that time. So I was going to,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: I was leaving the country for the first time without
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: my family. I was going to Costa Rica and I
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: was walking through the airport and I saw this book,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Change Your Brain, Change Your Life. I'm like, I want
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: to change my life. I don't like where this is going.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: And my brain is actually, I don't like who I'm
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: living with. The person upstairs is like annoying the hell
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: out of me. So I got this book and it
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: got me to get onto the plane. Now I had
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: a few anxious breakdowns on that. When you go to
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: places like going in the middle of jungle, you take
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: all those little planes and all of a sudden you're
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: on a four wheeler going to wherever you're going. every
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: now and then I'd have to stop because I would
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: get so lightheaded and stabbing chest pains and all this.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: And he said, drop weed, first of all, get rid
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: of the weed, get rid of the psychedelics. And I
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: also cut gluten from my diet from a little bit
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: of a time so I could get an idea of like,
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: what's my body on a natural level. And I started doing,
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: you know, kind of blood work. And I did some
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: spec scans, which he specializes in. So like actually looking
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: at my brain, because what I really like about the
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: spec scan is You wouldn't tell me I have a
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: broken arm without freaking looking at it. I could tell you, ow,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: it hurts, blah, blah, blah.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: What is a spec scan?
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: So a spec scan, we might have to look up
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: exactly what it stands for because I don't remember this.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: But basically it's kind of like an X-ray and it
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: kind of shows you almost like in those thermal type
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: colors of the activity of your brain. There we go.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: Single photon emission computed tomography.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So I have one of these.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: Nuclear medicine study that evaluates blood flow and activity in
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: the brain.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: So that's my doctor, Eamon Clinics. That's his website right there.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: And so I have a couple of these.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: How's your brain look?
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: You know what? He says this isn't right. Surprisingly good
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: for the abuse that it's had. I guess I sorted
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: my throat. It's the amount of time. Okay, so the
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: amount of activity. If we're looking at like female and
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: male brains, I mean, they're totally lit up in different spots,
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: you know. Actually, I think he's even worked with some
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: athletes of yours. He works a lot of like with
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: football players because he says, you know, like, you know,
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: I'm almost like a football player for the life that
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: I lead. I got to do everything else right. If
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: you're going to go and live under this amount of stress,
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: which is pretty abnormal, it's like you're getting hit in
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: the head an abnormal amount of times. then I got
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: to do everything else right. So I got to be
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: pretty diligent about my supplements. I got to really care
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: about the food that I eat. My mom always says like,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: you guys are overthinking it. I've eaten Cheetos every single day.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: It's true. For the rest of my life. And I'm like, yeah,
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: but you're not like a, you know, you're not. a
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: superstar that has to go on stage and do two
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: hour shows. You know, my heart really needs to be
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: in good condition. I need to be in good condition.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: I can't, by the way, my mom has crazy panic attacks.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: So like, I can't have any of that. My mom
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: has had me slam, like had them slam the brakes
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: on an airplane to take off and made me drive
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: home from Canada to Tennessee. I drove from Tennessee to
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Canada nine times because of her anxiety. I've driven from
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Nashville to California like four times because of her anxiety.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: So I don't listen to my mom. Exactly. My grandma
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: was on a popcorn diet where she took a trash
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: bag to the movie theater and filled it up with popcorn.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: And she's like, don't I look good? I'm like, on
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: the outside, it's fine. On the inside, I'm worried. Meanwhile,
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: she's going to outlive all of us. So sometimes I'll
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: worry about that. But I think I am kind of
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: like an athlete in the way of like, if I'm
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: going to be doing this kind of abnormal type lifestyle,
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: then I have to do everything else right. So my
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: spec scan looks pretty good, but I like looking at
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: my brain and knowing, okay, so this isn't looking at
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: me and going, there's just something wrong with me. And
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know why I had a head injury when
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: I was, you know, two years old.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: What happened?
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: It's bad. My dad had me, this is really bad,
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: but he can't go to jail. I don't think it's
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: long enough time away. He had me in a baby
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: backpack and I was on a dirt bike with my
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: dad and he was riding and a tree had fallen
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: and he ducked and I didn't. I hit my head
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: on the tree.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, Jesus Christ.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: So that's what's wrong. Everyone's asked me that for years.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: You know, that's a common theme with wild people. Do
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: you know that? Yes. Sam Kinison got hit by a
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: car when he was like a little kid, and his
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: brother Bill said it completely changed his life.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: We have just different standards.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: Same thing with Roseanne Barr. She got hit by a
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: car when she was 15. Before that, she was like mild-mannered,
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: really good at math. After she got hit by a car,
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: she had to spend nine months at a mental institution-
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: Couldn't count anymore. And she became this wild lady who
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: everybody knows as Roseanne.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: Right. I mean, maybe I'm thankful for it. Maybe it like,
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: I don't know, knocked me into this identity or something.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: I think there's something to it. I'm not kidding.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: He knows that there's something to that. Dr. Amen, we've
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: talked about this a lot. So when I get really overwhelmed,
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: I also have a tendency that if I know something stupid,
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: I just got to try it. To know that it's stupid,
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: which makes it stupid because I already knew about it.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm like, is it better to know it's dumb
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: and do it or to not know it's dumb and
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: do it?
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: But don't you think part of that— That's the head injury. Well, maybe,
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: but also— It's the funnel loam of your brakes, you know?
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: But just the way you developed as a human being,
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: being that famous. you know, 12 years old doing stadiums.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: But I do like, I like looking at my brain
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: and going, okay, listen, like someone cut my brakes, right?
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: On my brain. And I have to take all the things, Omega.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: I've been, was vegan for a very long time and
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: I've had to introduce fish and Omegas into my life
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: because my brain wasn't functioning properly. Don't tell that to
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: the vegans.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: They'll come for you.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: They're going to come for me, but that's okay. I'm
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: used to people coming for me and it's going to
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: be that I calm out. No, I, listen, if I, I,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: I have 22 animals on my farm in Nashville. I've
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: got 22 in my house in Calabasas. Like, I'm doing
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: what I need to do for the animals.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: But when it comes to my brain, you're not vegan.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: No.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: You can't be vegan and live in this kind of...
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: And not being this quick. But sure, you can. Some
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: people can. I cannot. Because it was really giving... What
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: did it do.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: For your brain?
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: I feel that I'm much.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: Slowed you down?
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: Now I'm so much sharper than I was. And I
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: think that I was, at one point, pretty malnutritioned. Like,
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: I remember going to... Glastonbury, and that was a show
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: that I loved. I loved my performance, but I was
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: running on empty. Like I was on.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Can I ask you, were you doing a vegan diet meticulous?
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: The strictest you'd ever know.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: Were you doing it intelligently? I did all my supplements.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: Were you supplementing the right way?
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: I do all my protein drinks. I've watched every bodybuilder's
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: YouTube about how they still train.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: You can't pay attention to those guys.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. All of a sudden, I'm like,
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: all I eat is celery. Why are my thighs fucking huge?
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: Those vegan bodybuilder guys, they're almost all on steroids. It's... Yeah,
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: I'm not on steroids. And they're different bodies, too. Some people,
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: I have good friends that are vegan, and they're fine
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: on it. My friend John Joseph, he's been a vegan
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: for like 30 years.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: That's why I think Nate Diaz, I was stoked, was
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: a vegetarian at one point. Or a pescatarian. That's what
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: I like to do. That's where I'm at.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of people that function really well with that.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: But some people, everybody's different. We all have different ancestors,
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: and our ancestors come from different parts of the world. And,
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: you know, I don't know if the blood type thing
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: is accurate, but some people really believe that.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: So this is another thing that I like about seeing
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: the brain is I try to eat for my brain
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: type and not my blood type. Your brain type. My
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: brain type. So my brain type. I really need breaks
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: on my brain because I did not have that. In
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: my new song, it says I can't bite the devil
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: on my tongue. That was like a really hard thing
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: for me to learn how to do. But instead of going,
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: I'm just totally impulsive and the most reactive person ever,
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: I look and go, well, but my dad also slammed
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: my head into a tree when I was two. As
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: a dad, that's hard to hear.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: That scares the shit out of me.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: I've given him an award for worst dad ever. Every
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: time I go– You know, if we're on Hollywood and
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: there's the best dad award, I scratch out best and
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: put worst. But he was also the best because he
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: would allow me to do a lot of other crazy
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: things that were awesome.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Well, you're fine. Yeah, I'm fine.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: My dad let me steal chickens from the Malibu barn,
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: that little red barn when you come down to Topanga.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: My dad, they were going to feed these chickens to
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: the snakes and they let us back there. My dad
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: was like, listen, I'm Billy Ray Cyrus. I'm going to
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: totally distract him. you shove as many chickens in the
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: back of the Corvette as you can while I'm signing
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: autographs and we're going to get the hell out of here.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: So I did. I went, me and my brother got
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: all these damn chickens and we shoved them in the
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: back of his car. And he was going to.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: Snakes went hungry though.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: He was about to go work for David Lynch. Well,
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: he was going to audition for him for Mulholland Drive.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: And my dad brought the chickens in the Corvette. And
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: he said, if you're going to have chickens in the Corvette,
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: like you're playing the pool guy. You know, that's a
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: pool guy thing to do. So my dad got the job.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: So because he got the job, he had to stay
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: in LA and we had to go back to Tennessee.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: So he told me and my mom... to tell the
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: people on the airplane that they were exotic Himalayan cockatoos.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: And we did and they let them on the plane
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: and we had them in the purse and they lived
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: in a bathtub on Hollywood and Highland in some hotel
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: for a long time and then we got home and
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: the The night we got there, our dogs got in
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: the chicken coop and made them all. So they died anyway.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: But that's the kind of dad my dad is. He
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: sets you up for failure and for disappointment. But I
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: like that about him because he made me tough.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, it's hard to keep dogs out of
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: chicken coops. I had a dog that got in a
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: chicken coop too.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: That sucks.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: I had a lot of chickens at one point in time.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: And then after the last fire out here, my chicken coop,
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: my house stayed okay, but my chicken coop burnt to
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: the ground. Damn. And then we had to put them
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: in a smaller chicken coop and the coyotes got them.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: That's the thing. That's the thing. You can't blame dad
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: for nature. That's the way that it is.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: No, you can't. Dogs will eat chickens.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they will.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Give them a chance.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: So will snakes, apparently.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: Fuck yeah.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: They're getting it. Yeah.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: So your brain, like when they do this scan- do
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: they do they tell you what you should do to
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: make it better like what do they do they look
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: at and go oh you're fucked up no they.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Tell you what you can do to make it better
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: you know he works kind of with you know i
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: guess a lot of um you know kind of mostly
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: athletes people that kind of live abnormal lifestyle and and
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: so injuries yeah he just posted a cool picture with
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: tyson and he just works with all i love seeing
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: the other brains that i'm allowed to see also because
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: it kind of is fun to I would love like
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: a match.com, but like where people just put their brain scans.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, I like that one. That's lighting up
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: the right where I need it. You know, you got
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: something I don't have.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: That would be actually amazing if that's how it worked.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. Because personalities are weird. Like people,
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: sometimes you go, they just work together.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: Exactly. And I think it has to do with that.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm not really looking now, I guess, for
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: as much as I'm looking for this. I want the
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: soul connection, but I'm more about the brain connection. I'm
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: a very logical. I like to have kind of logic
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: in my life because- I used to be kind of
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: owned by emotion in a way. I was very emotional.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: And that's what I meant by, I think we spun
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: off of what I meant by tough. So I used
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: to be very emotional.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: You used to cry about things, and now you get
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: over things.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: And also more like... I would really kind of just like,
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: I would just become such a recluse. I had that tendency.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: My dad, my dad said he's, everyone's just getting on
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: social distancing. He's been doing it since 1992. Like my
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: dad's been on social. I said, as soon as we
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: walked in here, you know, I, it made me.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: That was around achy, breaky heart time.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: Right. 92 is.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: That was right when I was born. And that is
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: when it was all crazy. So that also explains, I mean,
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: I think somewhat of my. Just who I am, my personality,
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: how I kind of move.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: Did your dad talk to you about what the anxiety
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: was like for him when he became famous?
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: Because your dad was a fucking, for.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: People who don't know, in the early 90s, your dad
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: was a fucking superstar.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: But he had a very different lifestyle than I did
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: as my dad grew up. in a house that didn't
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: even have an indoor bathroom. My dad hadn't gone to
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: the dentist until he was 30 years old. My dad
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: had never gone.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: To a dentist.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: My dad grew up poor. My uncle still lives in
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: their same house. He's got an indoor bathroom now because
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: my dad's a G and put that in. But he
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: still lives in the same house. And yeah, so my
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: dad grew up in like, you probably have seen it.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: It's one of the poor areas in the country. My
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: dad grew up in Appalachia and Kentucky. So did my mom.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: So I've been there a bunch and I've been able
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: to see where my dad's from. So he had a
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: different relationship to fame because he went from nothing to everything.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: I went kind of from having, you know, everything. If
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: we look at really the way I grew up, lived
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: in a big house on a big farm. The only
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: thing that was sad about it is we didn't have
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: kind of neighbors or normal kids around because I lived
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: on this big kind of isolated farm, but went to school,
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: had this normal life. But I mean, if we really
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: look at it, I didn't know when I was a
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: kid that I had everything, but I had everything. So
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: I went from having it all to having more. And
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: that I don't know what's harder to kind of humanize,
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: I guess, about yourself because my life is very unique.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: And so it's very hard for me to sit with
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: someone and relate to them. And I think that made
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: me really scared because my mom doesn't like to be alone.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: So I have that fear in my mind if I
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: don't want to be alone. But I think what makes
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: you lonely isn't the amount of people are around. But like,
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: am I relating to people? Am I really connecting?
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: Well, you must have a hard time connecting to people.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: They don't have the same life experience as you. Your reality,
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: it's like you're in a fishbowl. You're in a different reality,
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: and you're hanging out next to people that aren't in
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: the fishbowl.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Here's the difference of the fishbowl. So we usually put
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: the fish in the fishbowl. You were born in the fishbowl. Right,
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: we do it. And I was born into it, but
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: then again, I put myself into it. So if you
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: get a beta, you're the one that does it.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: You did it when you were a little kid, and
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: you didn't know what you were doing.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: But my parents didn't really want me to. So my parents,
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: my dad... wouldn't even really go with us to the auditions.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: He was actually kind of mad at my mom about it.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: That was kind of a thing. And then my mom's like,
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do this. So, you know, she stays
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: in this small town. She's going to be like everybody
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: else that just ends up on drugs. So she took
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: me to L.A. Mom, like, hello. She didn't even smoke
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: weed yet. Oh, that's hilarious. That's not the AB that
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: I've ever heard of. Like, let's avoid drugs in Nashville,
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: so let's get more and better, a lot better drugs
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: in L.A.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: We're going way off track. What bothers you about being
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: more resilient? Because that's what it sounds like. When you
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: say more tough, you're talking about the difference between someone
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: who reacts— Overly emotionally something you would fall to the
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: ground and curl up in a ball and cry about
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: things and now you can get over them. That to
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: me is the sign of perspective.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: Okay, so here's where it is. And I don't even
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: want to have a conversation about like really, you know,
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: sexism or men versus women because like I love dudes,
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: you know, and I actually relate to dudes a lot more.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: But I think men in my life have told me
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: that I'm cold. I'm a cold fucking bitch because I
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: leave when things are done. I was actually going to say,
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm really into a lot of freaky things,
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: but I don't fuck dead guys. And when it's over,
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: it's over and you're dead to me and we move on.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: You know, so that's how I feel about it. And
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: I'll do a lot of things, but I don't do that.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: And so I think that that's where I've gotten the idea,
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: which actually I'm glad you just said that to me
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: because I get this kind of. Beaten into the brain
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: from all different angles. My mom was like, you know,
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: everyone else is proud of me for being, like you said, resilient.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: And I have a lot of guilt. I'm a very
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: guilty person.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: But that sounds like you're talking to guys who want
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: you to feel guilty because you don't feel emotional about
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: it ending.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: And this is the first time.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: People need to learn how to just let shit go.
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: If they like you or if they love you.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: They love you, they have to.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: But if they don't have to, that's a hard thing.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: They should want you to be happy. Just let it
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: pass and then be friends.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: Okay, so.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: If they can't do that, that's on them. That's not
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: on you because you're resilient.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: That's why I'm looking for an older man. Because these
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: like guys that are, you know, I definitely should be
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: with someone. I think that.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: You got to find Nick Nolte.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: This is what I'm thinking. This is what I'm thinking.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: I don't need a man or a woman that's going to.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: Take care of me. I can take care of me
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: because I've got money. I've got all the things that
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: I need to take care of myself. I need them
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: to be able to take care of them because somehow
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: I keep getting into.
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: Well, you need someone with autonomy.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: That's what you need. You need someone who, they don't
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: need your constant approval and affection and attention.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: And now that we're using this word need, just for
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: the record, I guess I really don't need to be
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: in a relationship at all. So that's good we got
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: to this point. See, this is therapy.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't need it.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: No, it does sound nice.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: People can poison you with their ideas of what you
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: should be. And if you don't meet up to their expectations,
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: and oftentimes their expectations of you are just to reaffirm themselves.
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: They want you to love them. They want you to
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: tell them how awesome they are. And if you don't
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: feel that way, you're cold. There's something wrong with you
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: because they don't have autonomy. They can't exist independently. Right.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: That's the problem. Right. The problem is there's a lot
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: of bitches out there.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: I like it. You said it, not me. That's what
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: it is. That's how I feel. And honestly, we're talking
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: in a very, this is a super like kind of
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: pivotal moment for me right now. I haven't been single
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: in like, I guess really from- 2015. I mean, there's
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: been little months, so maybe about five years, like I've had,
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: you know, a few months here and there where I've
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: been single, but not for a long period of time. And,
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: you know, something I'm really excited about is this VMA
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: performance that's coming up. And I love that it's the
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: first time that I'm going to be on that stage
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: as a single, badass, grown, evolved, secure woman that's done
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: a lot of work. I've done the work, and that's
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: the thing. Some people say, how did you get here?
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: You turned out pretty good. And it's like, dude, I
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: worked really hard at it.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: But just seriously, get it in your head. Anytime someone
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: gives you a hard time about being strong, You're not
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: a bad person just because you're strong, just because you
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: don't cry as easy as you used to. That's ridiculous. Yeah.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: It's ridiculous.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: I'm learning that.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: It's perspective. That's all it is. You're not a bad person.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: All these fucking animals you have.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: How could you be a bad person if you love
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: animals that much?
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Dude, I put this stuff called monkey butt on my
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: dog's ass every day. This baby powder for dog butts
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: because I got this guy. My friend who said, oh,
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: my God. This is a whole other story. My friend
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: who's sitting out there right now tried to. immediately, you know,
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: make me happy because I just went through a breakup
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: and showed me a hot guy on Instagram. And I
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: started scrolling and I see him putting this powder on
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: his dog's ass. I'm like, I don't want him, but
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: I want that stuff for the dog's ass. That looks great.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: So I ordered it right away. Monkey butt. So I
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: have a dog. She can't see. She can't hear. She
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: can barely walk. She was dropped at a fire station.
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: She was overbred. She's a bulldog, you know, and they
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: breed them crazy. And she can barely get off the floor.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: She's so overweight. And her name is Kate Moss. And
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: what I love about it is I tell everybody when
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: I'm coming to set, you know, I'm going to bring
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: Kate Moss, make sure she's good. She's COVID tested.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: We're all good.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: And then all the men on set's face are the
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: best because it's like, I thought Miley Cyrus was bringing
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: Kate Moss. It's going to be the best day of
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: my life. And then she comes in with her big
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: ass lips. that I have baby powder. She has diapers
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: because I put diapers on her for when she comes
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: to set because her butt is like atrocious.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: Do you just need to get her on a diet?
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: I have her on a diet. Honestly, I'll show you
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: some pictures when we're done with this because She had
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: this thing called a cherry eye and everyone, she had
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: them in both eyes. So they were trying to get
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: me to like either remove her eye or do all
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: this surgery, whatever. I'm like, let me do this the
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: old fashioned way. So every day I get up, I
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: clean her eyes. See, I'm not a bad person. I
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: clean her eyes. I put four drops in two times
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: a day, give her three tablets. She's lost probably 10
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: pounds already and the cherries are completely out of her eyes.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: She is healed. And what I love about her, and
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: I'll show you these videos, is she does, she can sing, right?
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: That's what really locked her in. So I've never known
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: this to be for a dog to do this. When
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: I do scales and I warm up for my shows,
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: she howls and sings with me and she's got perfect pitch.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: That's cool.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: So I hadn't even adopted her yet. I was fostering
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: her and I was going to take her to set hoping,
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: you know, somebody's kids wanted a dog and they would
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: want her. And the first thing that someone said is
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: a face only a mother can love. And I was like,
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: that's not true. I love her. And so I love
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: her because she started singing to me, and then I
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: adopted her right then. She's so ugly that they waived
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: the adoption fee. That's not a lie. Literally, she was free.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: And I now have to remind myself, they say the
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: best things in life are free. And when I look
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: at her and her big ass, I know it's true.
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: She's so ugly. She's free. I had a friend who
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: had wolves. He had wolf dogs. And you could sing
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: in his house, and the wolves would start howling. He'd go, yahoo!
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: And they would roar.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: See, my dogs do that with the ambulance here. Oh, yeah.
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: Coyotes do that. Yes.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: So they start going, then my dogs start going. So
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: all the dogs sing, but none of them do it
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: to scale like Kate Moss.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: That's adorable.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. She's good.
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, don't let anybody tell you that there's something
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: wrong with being resilient. Yeah. I'm learning that.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: But people will do that.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: Men will do that. I see a lot of men
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: do that with women. They want women to feel bad.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: They want them to feel bad for not being emotional.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: And I used to get small. That's what I'm telling you. See,
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: that's what I used to be really easy to kind
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: of put me back in the, you know, kind of
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: jack in the box kind of thing. You know, you
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: can get me to come out and just for a
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: little while. But it's it's it's become suspiciously convenient timing.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: It always seems that I get told off. That I'm
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: a cold bitch before I'm about to... Right when you're done.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: Right when I'm ready to put out fucking music. It
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: happens every time.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: Oh, because you're focused on other things other.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: Than the man.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: Focused on other things.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: Again, you're dating bitches.
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: And then it's like, you know, and then it's just,
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: it's all, it's a whole thing. It's all.
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: You have so much energy. Like, the way you talk
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: and all the sentences run on into the next. Do
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: you exercise?
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: Yes, I exercise.
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: What do you do?
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: I love Pilates. And it's not super, I guess... Cardio.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: I think you need to do something aggro.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: I need to run a little bit more.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: You need to do something aggro.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: I got a bag being put in my house right now,
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: so next time I'm here, I'll show you. I'll be
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: able to beat the shit out of it.
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: Okay, but protect your hands.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. These nails come off. I just have them
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: taped on. This is Dolly style. Everything about me is
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: taped on, honey. Dolly style. It's an easy, and now
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: you just go, and I like, ah. Yeah, it's all
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: just tape.
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: People that play guitar and musical instruments, and they hurt
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: their hands punching things.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: I actually had a guy... told me that I had
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: grubby little kid hands. And I liked that about it
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: because I did have dirt and that was because this
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: was at a time where I was doing drugs and
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: I wanted to know where the hell the gophers go.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: So there was a gopher hole in my backyard. And
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: I'm like, where do they keep going? I see them
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: pop up and they go in. I'm like, if you
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: can dig to China, you can dig if I can
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: find a gopher. So here I go.
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: You can't really dig to China.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: And I know that much. And you can't find the
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: gophers either.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: You can. My gardener knows how to get them.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: I could not find the gophers. And I looked for
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: a very long time. I even tried to get them
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: out with pizza. I brought pizza down into the hole
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: hoping that, you know, everybody loves pizza. Apparently not gophers.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: You rarely see gophers, but you see their holes all
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: the time.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm telling you. That's where I was trying
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: to go. That's it. You know, when someone tells you
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: that they've been enlightened, they saw Jesus and, you know, whatever.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: I wanted to see. I don't even want to see Jesus.
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: I just want to see a damn gopher. So I
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: went into the hole and. I never saw a gopher.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: I want to see a wolverine.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: I'll die disappointed.
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: If I was one animal I could see in the wild,
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: I'd like to see a wolverine.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: See, you're like, that's next level. I just want a
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: freaking regular degular gopher in the backyard.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: Of Studio City.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: I've seen gophers.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: You rarely see them, but I've seen them. But I
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: think that- Wolverines are dope. Super cool. Well, I just
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: think seeing one of them fuckers, that's rare. It's rare
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: to see one of those things in the wild.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: My dad wanted to see a bear- For 30 years,
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: he had this dream. I have to tell him I
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: don't know if he's lying or what the hell's going on.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: But we're on this plane, and he's so excited. He's like,
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: I'm going to see. My dad's a little kind of
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: intuitive that way. And he's like, I'm going to finally
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: do it. I've been looking for 30 years. And when
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: you look hard enough and you're diligent about what you want,
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: I believe that you get it through diligence. And I've
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: been looking for bears for 30 years, whatever. And so
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: he brought catnip so he could get the bear to
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: come out. I'm like, what's the deal? So, of course,
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: my dad... Ends up going on some hike and he
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: sees a bear and he leaves the catnip for as
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: a treat. He ends up leaving. And now I was
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: so scared. You know, catnip gets the cat's hype. Right.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: Like it's like crack. I'm like, please don't give crack
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: to the bear.
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: I don't think it works that way.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: I was just, I hope to God that, I don't know,
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: how would you know? Has anyone ever given catnip to
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: a bear?
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: I'm sure someone's done it.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: That's very niche. I'm pretty sure one person's done it.
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: Catnip doesn't work on dogs. So why would it work
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: on bears?
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Dogs aren't bears. I don't know.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: They seem to be like more dog-like than cat-like.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: Well, no bears ended up going ham and doing anything crazy.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: Where did your dad see a bear?
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: He was somewhere on the East Coast doing a show.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: There's plenty of places to see bears. You don't have
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: to wait 30 years.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: My dad probably was lazy as hell and probably said
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: I looked everywhere, probably opened his front fucking door, bear
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: wasn't standing there and went back inside.
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: Well, that's what people think when they worry. There's no
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: bears left. Go outside. Just go to the right place.
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: I've seen bears. There's plenty of bears. I spent a
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: little bit of time in Vancouver, B.C. with my brother.
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: This is actually one of the crazier things I've ever done.
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: People think I'm so crazy, but this is the craziest thing.
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: But it's not even that nuts. I was following Nat
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: Geo on Instagram, and I love the pictures of the
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: spirit bears. I love those beautiful bears up in BC.
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: And I kind of started reading about the wolf cull
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: up there, and I got really kind of invested in
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: these animals. And I sent a DM and said, is
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: there any way that at some point I could go
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: with maybe some of your researchers and I could see
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: some of these bears or wolves for myself? Because I
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: think I'd be even more inspired to kind of fight
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: for them if I could actually see them and know
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: that they're really real, because I've only ever seen them
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: from a picture. And they responded and said, sure. You
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: can come up and hang with the spirit. But this
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: is kind of like, I don't know if it's catfishing
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: or I don't know what was really going on, but
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: someone's telling me, sure. So me and my brother load up.
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: I didn't really want to get my parents involved. So
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: we got a coach flight and had to go through
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: San Francisco. Then we got this shitty little hotel room
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: because we were just trying to, I didn't know how
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: to do it. Everyone's always done my travel for me,
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: managers and all these things. So I was just booking it.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: So we ended up taking like two little planes, three boats,
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: and we ended up getting to, with this dude, Ian,
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: who shoots And for Nat Geo and shoots up in
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: BC and it was just amazing. And I got to
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: see all the spirit bears. I got to go into
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: like where they do all their research on their boat.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: So they'll leave these like kind of like trap combs
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: where they it just brushes the bear's hair when it
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: when it walks by. So they can understand kind of
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: more about it. And yeah, sort of looking about like
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: all this information. Again, this is one of the kind
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: of weirder things that I've done that I didn't really know.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: who was going to be waiting on that boat. I mean,
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: I know we tell girls not to go out into
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: the middle of a boat.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: How old were you when you were doing this?
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: This was two weeks after the VMAs in 2015.
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: So you're already super famous.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: I was super famous.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: Going out there to find bears.
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: With my brother. There you are. There I am. Yeah,
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: there I am.
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you find that if you're not glammed up,
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: you can kind of sneak around?
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: Well, this is kind of funny because I think it's
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: happening in a second. They gave me a caterpillar that
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: if you lick its belly, your tongue goes numb.
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, great.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: And I pretended that it might happen somewhere in here. Oh, yeah,
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: save the BC wolves.
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: But if you don't wear makeup and shit, can you
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: sneak around?
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I sneak around pretty good. It's the voice. I
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: just have to shut up. Yeah, it's the voice.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: Can you fuck with your voice and make it high?
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: Can you pretend?
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: Not really. Not really. I have a phone voice, I think. Apparently,
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: you know, I directed this last video and apparently when
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: I read my presentations, I have like a different voice,
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: you know, like when you answer the phone. But I
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: think it sounds the same. My phone voice, I think,
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: is like, I think it just sounds the same. Yeah.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: So that's what gets you.
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: That's what gets me every time.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: People know. Yeah, they're like, wait, but listen to her talk.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: But the voice.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you, it's her.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: That's the worst when you hear those whispers.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, those are weird whispers, right?
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure.
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: Your life of growing up famous, that doesn't end well
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: for most people. You're remarkably together for someone who grew
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: up famous. It's a weird way, it's a weird alchemy
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: to put together a human being where... In your developmental stages, pre-teen,
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: in fact, you're hugely famous.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: What do you think that did for you?
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: What did it do for me?
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: Do you think that's a good thing? Or do you
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: think it's a manageable thing?
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: I would say it isn't recommended because, like I kind
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: of said in the beginning of this, it's like jumping
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: in the deep end of the pool and not knowing
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: if you can swim or not and it can go
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: one way or the other. Luckily, I swam.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: But it almost always goes the wrong way.
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know.
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: Almost always.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: And that, I don't think, comes very recommended, and I
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: wouldn't recommend it. I don't know what it is, but
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: I feel like I've kind of been given this special,
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: I don't know, kind of special understanding of... I don't
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: even know where it comes from Cause I'm really not religious.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: And I, maybe it comes from like education of getting
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: a good understanding of, you know, I've got kind of
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: a good idea of like what fame does on kind
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: of like, if we're looking at it from a level.
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: Of, were you thinking about this when you were young?
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking about this when I was young, but
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: I started thinking about it, uh, at the time where
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: I think it kind of mattered that I could go
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: one way or the other. And that was probably when
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: I was 17 and I bought Dr. Amen's book. about
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: understanding why I can't get high enough on drugs and
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: why I end up doing more drugs than anybody else.
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: I wrote a song where one of the lines says,
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: I'll go toe to toe like I'm Ali. I'll do more.
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: That could be the biggest guy in the room. And
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: I'll say, I'll be able to do more drugs than you.
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: But it's because my level of what high is is
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: I felt it from, I mean, when you're having 15,000
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: people scream your name and sing along to your songs,
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: it's like, you know how you're saying your float tank
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: is getting high without drugs. It's like that, but times
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: a billion.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: No, I'm sure.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: So it's really hard to, to come down off that. And, uh,
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: I never luckily had a problem with like taking downers
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: to bring myself down, but there was a lot of people, uh,
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: around me that was like, you know, just take half
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: of these and you'll be fine.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: You know, so I, I'm lucky I didn't start messing
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: with downers.
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: I think it also might have to do with your
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: head injury. Yeah, I know that. There's a real big
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: connection between people with traumatic brain injury and the need
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: for either alcohol or cocaine or something to perturb your
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: natural state of consciousness.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: And a lot of my brain is really, really on.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: It's got like overactivity. But then again, if you kind
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: of look at the part, that frontal lobe that kind
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: of tells you, you know. yes or no or stops
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: you from making a bad choice. Mine gets a little
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: sleepy sometimes when I'm not doing, especially when it comes
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: to the diet. When my diet isn't, you know, it's
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: annoying because I do like to, one, I'm country, so
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: I like to eat bad food. I had never, my
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: mom used to get mad if I would tell her
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: I don't want butter. Like, my mom is like, yeah,
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: now I'm fine. But I just remember growing up, my mom,
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: you know, we ate frozen waffles and all that. We
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: don't know anything about nutrition. I grew up on country diet.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: And so I learned a lot. I honestly, I mark
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: a lot of my, I guess, kind of like my
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: grounding in the weight that I have to my diet,
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: to my supplementing, to my maintenance, to the diligence, to
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: the sport that being an entertainer is.
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: It is a sport.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is.
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: Are you the boss?
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm the boss.
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: You're the boss.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: I'm the boss.
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: Do you have a mentor? Do you have someone that
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: you can consult with when shit is weird?
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: I send faxes back and forth to Dolly Parton because
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: that's how she communicates.
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: Oh, shit.
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: That's how we communicate.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: Well, listen, if you need a mentor, that's the mentor.
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: And there's a woman who's done it.
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: And I try to kind of, you know, my life
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: moves so fast, I try to kind of send her
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: a little kind of rundown of what's going on every
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: other month. By fax?
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: You guys fax each other?
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: She faxes me, then I send an email and they
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: fax to her. They email the fax to me.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: There's something amazing about that.
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is. Yeah, she records everything on the cassette
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: and all that.
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: She records it on a cassette?
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: And so she... I have actually a recording of her
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: saying it. It's somewhere. It's on the beginning of Rainbowland
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: or at the end of it. But she says.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, I listened to that.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: She goes, all right, I'm going to put this on
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: my cassette. Then I'm going to run it down onto
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: a CD. Oh, I'm so high tech.
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. We played Jolene, your cover of Jolene on
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: this podcast once.
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: Thank you very much.
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: Thank you. A lot of kids kind of think that's
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: my song now. That's what I like doing about covers.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: I think you were talking about. That Cornell tribute at
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: one point also. That's what I love. My fans, they
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: wouldn't really know unless I introduced it to them. And
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: that's something that I really love. And that happened recently
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: with Midnight Sky and Stevie Nicks. There's a sample of
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: Edge of 17, which I got blessed by her to
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: be able to allow me to do it. I had
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: another melody, a B melody. It's definitely below a B
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: because it's not Edge of 17, which is my top
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: five favorite song ever. And she said, you can borrow
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: from me anytime, which like... That's awesome. So cool. Yeah.
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's got to be pretty badass to be able
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: to be in contact and to collaborate with all these
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: amazing artists.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: And I went on the road with Joan Jett for
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: a little while, too. Oh, wow. And she was on
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: tour with The Who. I went and hung out with
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: her for a little while. That's amazing. You know, even
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: if I'd show up there and I'd maybe been partying
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: too much and she would yell, her manager, Kenny, who's
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: been her manager and in her band from the beginning... Kenny,
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: we got to get her some Mexican food or something.
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: Look at her. She's going to break in half. And
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden, all this food starts running up
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: to my room. And I think she's probably seen, not
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: just in her own band, but I think she's seen everything.
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: And I think she's seen it go the wrong way.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: You know how we're talking about whether you swim or drown.
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: I think she's seen a lot more people drown. And
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: so she always tries to feed me.
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: But that's where it's got to be really hard. If
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: you're a woman like her who's been there, done that,
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: and then you see some young girl coming up. And
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: you're like, damn, this lady right now is in the waves.
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: And you've been in the waves many times where that
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: ship is rocking back and forth and you don't know
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: which way it's going to go. When you're a 17-year-old
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: kid and you're doing a lot of mushrooms and smoking
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: a lot of pot and And also you're super fucking
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: famous and really people can't tell you shit.
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: Which is part of the problem.
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: I know. That's why my mom's the best. I didn't
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: understand she was the best at the time. She'd still
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: take my cell phone. I'm like, how can you take it?
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: I'm paying for it. And she's like, I gave you life.
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: Shut up.
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: You know, and yeah, my mom still took my cell
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: phone until I was almost 20.
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: You have like an almost manic way of talking.
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: Your way of talking is almost like a fountain, like
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: a crazy fountain. Like, words just keep coming and ideas
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: just keep coming. I know. Like, how do you shut
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: that off?
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: I am into a lot of these. I love the
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: idea of these hypnosis apps. I have a lot of
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: those on my phone. Which ones do you use? I
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: like Amen Clinics. I'm all about my boy, Dr. Amen.
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: I listen to Headspace a lot.
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: Good stuff.
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: And I like Calm. I use that a lot also.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: Calm's great.
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: Yes. Actually, my favorite thing about Headspace is I love
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: the Sleep Skate. And my favorite one is the Cat Marina.
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: Because I do love boats and I do love cats.
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: So that's a dream for me after a long day.
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: Does that work on you? Does it calm you down?
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: When my house burned down, I literally, I'm not joking,
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: the cat marina got me through. I was training in
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: South Africa and every night it'd be like, hello and
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: good evening. You're at the cat marina. Lucky for you,
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: you love cats. What do you love more? Boats. You know,
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: and it's like, hell yeah, I'm at the cat marina.
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: My house is on the ground in a million pieces,
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: and I'll never see anything that I love inside of
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: it again, but I'm at the fucking Cat Marina.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: I'm not a doctor, but if I was, I would
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: prescribe to you some ridiculous, rigorous exercise. I think you're
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: like a little Ferrari, and you need to get out
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: there on the fucking racetrack.
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: Let's go.
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: I really think that.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: Let's go.
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: I see all this fucking energy you have. I'm like,
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: that lady's like an overflowing battery.
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: This is why I like to work hard.
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: Hard.
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: And maybe that's, I'm sure. Yeah. I love to work.
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: You're a thoroughbred.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: I do. And when I don't work, that's when I
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: get in trouble.
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: But you also got to think about there's genetics involved,
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: you know, your father was a musician and, you know, just,
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: and then all your life being in the public eye
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: like that and performing and working. And then just the
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: amount of effort that you put in when you were
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: a kid touring all the time. I mean, You're fucking
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: geared for that shit, you know? And I just feel
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: like people like that, your body can betray you sometimes.
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: I know that.
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of physical pain, to be honest
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: with you. And that's something I'm working on and trying
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: to figure out, too. And that had a lot.
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: You got physical pain?
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: Physical pain. My hips, like, really, really hurt me. And
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: my hips drive me crazy.
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: From what?
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: If I fly, I think, I don't know, maybe it's
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: just the.
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: Do you stretch?
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: I do stretch. I'm actually overly flexible. I'm like kind
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: of double jointed everywhere. And so I have a lot
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: of like shoulder, like my shoulder will just slip out
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: all the time. Like it kind of just does weird
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: things and my arms twist in weird directions.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: Are you physically strong?
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: Physically strong? I think I'm pretty strong. I've been stronger.
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: I've been stronger.
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's like a muscle thing. Maybe you need to exercise,
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: like weight lift.
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: I really, really loved lifting and doing all my weight training,
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: my resistance, and then the kind of, The veganism, I
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: was kind of trying to, I think I'm really kind
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: of building myself back up to realize what works. So
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: I'm actually right now in a very experimental period. It's
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: actually fun to talk about with you because I know
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: that you kind of have probably some good suggestions on that.
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: But I'm experimenting a lot with like my diet and
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: my body and my routine and my exercise right now. Because,
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: I mean, kind of like, you know, leaving veganism is
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: really terrifying. Like you said, the public kind of will
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: destroy you for that.
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: How long were you vegan?
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: I was vegan from 2013 till 2019.
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: So in 2019, what was the first thing that you ate?
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: My ex-husband cooked me some fish on the grill. I
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: cried for a long time. You cried for the fish?
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: I cried for the fish.
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: Those little fucks, they don't even take care of their kids.
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: Listen, I have some videos on my phone of my
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: fish at home. I have a blowfish that runs to
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: the side of the tank every time I come home,
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: so it really hurts me to eat fish.
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: Because it thinks you're going to feed it.
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: And I do every time.
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it.
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: That's all it is. You know what? I haven't really had.
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: You get shot in the head. That fish doesn't give
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: a fuck.
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: Well, that's what my ex said about the dogs. And
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't do this to the dogs. And
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: he's like, watch this. Starts feeding them the fish. They're like,
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: they're happy. You know, they'll eat it. But so that's
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: what I had. And it was because of a hip pain.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: I had actually going to, we were flying to, I think,
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: Poland or something on a tour that I was on
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: and I started sobbing crying on the planks I couldn't
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: sit any longer because my hips were hurting so.
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: Bad So this was pre and laying on the floor
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: pre quitting gluten now.
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: I'm back on gluten I did a trial period of
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: 18 of like kind of removing things because I think
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: when you try all these different diets like okay Now
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna try keto now. I'm gonna try vegan. I'm
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: gonna try this you're doing it at such a kind
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: of it's really hard to know what's affecting you Um,
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: so I tried to go slowly, like, okay, it takes
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: a fricking long time, but going through and going, I'm
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: going to eliminate this now. And then I'm going to
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: put it back and see how I feel my body
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: when I am supplementing, especially with the omegas, like the
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: omegas have really changed my life for me. I think again,
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: you know, you kind of, you kind of refer to
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: me as something like a car. And I think that
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: we are kind of like a car. And I was
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: like so dry from having none of these healthy fats
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: in my diet. I did what I could with like
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: as many fricking avocados a day as I could have.
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: It's hard.
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: But it's hard to get the fat.
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: It's not as bioavailable.
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: And your brain is, you know, your brain really needs
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: those fats. And, you know, it was really, really hard
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: for me.
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: Fish oil is the way to go.
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: I know people don't like it and they don't like
• 59:49
  Speaker 2: the idea behind it, but God damn it. It's so
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: good for your brain. Yeah.
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: I love, uh, I do kind of like the fish egg.
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: Vital choice also.
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: That sounds great.
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: I love vital choice.
• 59:57
  Speaker 2: Fish eggs is the way to go.
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: That's what I do. Yeah.
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's the best way to.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: Get your omegas.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: It's really helped my head so, so much. Because it's
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 2: an inflammation issue then.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: I think in general, my brain, like you're saying, it's
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: kind of on fire. It is inflamed. I think in general,
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: I'm inflamed. So I'm looking for, in my life, not
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: just in kind of like dating or relationships, but in general,
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: the people I like to have around. I like to
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: have those kind of water signs. I like someone that
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: can kind of– or earth signs, but I love water
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: signs because I love being– and in general, like I
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: love people that are kind of like fluid and that
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: can kind of put some of that on my flame
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: because it gets overwhelming sometimes, the amount of heat and
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: like energy that I generate. I actually was reading something
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: about ducks that's interesting, the way that ducks handle their energy.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: Ducks? Yes. How do they handle their energy?
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: So ducks, you know, I guess their form of exercise.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: So apparently– I was reading this in a book last night.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it's I guess it goes with
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: my realistic children's stories. But I was reading about ducks,
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: how they like kind of ferociously flap their wings and
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: then they kind of swim off in peace. And you'll
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: kind of you'll see these weird kind of patterns that
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: they do. And especially if two ducks are together.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: So.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: You throw a piece of bread in the water. One
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: of the ducks get it. They get a little fight
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: going on. Then they both separate ways. They go to
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: their own spot and start flapping their wings all crazy
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: to get out some of that energy. And then they
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: just swim away in peace. And I'm like, I guess
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: that's kind of what you're saying that I need. I
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: need to be more duck-like. I need to, whether it's
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: the beginning of the day or the end of the day,
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: I need something to go and like flap my wings
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: and get out that extra energy because I think that's
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: part of the physical pain. Like when I went to
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: go check in on the pain before and I've been
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: to a lot of people here and no one seemed
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: to help me with the physical pain. It actually gets really,
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: really bad. Like especially if I fly, I usually have
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: to lay on the ground because my back hurts me
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: so bad and my hips hurt me so bad.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: That's crazy.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: I know. And I'm too young for that.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: For you to be this young? Yeah, that's crazy. And
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: there's no real injuries you could point to that cause this.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: So I overdid Ashtanga yoga for a couple years because
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: I am extremist.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: And there's a little controversy between Ashtanga yoga and the
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: kind of like.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 2: Hip injuries?
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, hip injuries.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: Did you get an MRI?
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: I've done everything and everything looks good. You know, everyone
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: says we have no idea, you know, kind of what's
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: going on, but they're not really taking into consideration my lifestyle,
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: which that has to do something. You know, I have
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: to put it somewhere. This amount of energy, I don't
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: always get it out. You're right. I need to freaking
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: run more. You know what? The running helped me a
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: lot when the house burned down too. In South Africa,
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: I was running every day.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would think that someone like you, you need
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: something rigorous.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: If I don't work out, I'm not a great person.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I can guarantee you.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. We don't do calls or work meetings before
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: I work out. We know this.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: We've learned from the past.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: Do you have a trainer?
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I do.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: Is it a good trainer?
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: I have a bad-ass trainer, but I need to– I
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: think in times where– My trainer is kind of like
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: family for me now and maybe getting a little too soft.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: A little too comfortable.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: A little too soft in the way that when I'm
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: going through, like this week I went through another public breakup.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: I had the VMAs. The song was coming out at
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: the same time. And when I got into the gym,
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: I would sometimes just start crying because I love them
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: like family. So when you walk in, I would just
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: start crying.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: Because you know that you can be comfortable around them.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: Just comfortable. And then I think that it's hard to go, okay,
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: now I'm going to beat your ass because I think
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: he thinks life is beating my ass. But maybe I
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: need just– Maybe it's tough love.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a job to be done. All that emotion's
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: great and it's wonderful that he loves you and that
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: you guys are friends.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: I think it's a little bit my bad for wondering
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: how hard I want to be pushed.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 2: Well, it's also you're the boss.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: That's the problem.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 2: When you're the boss and you're Miley Cyrus, you can't say, listen, bitch,
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: it's time.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: To go to work. He'll do it to me sometimes,
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: which I like.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: But you can't do it too much because then you're like, no, no, no,
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: I'm the fucking boss.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: Then I think I want to kind of I don't
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: know what it is. It's not give up, but then
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes I wonder how much... And I really
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: don't even like saying this because I kind of have
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: guilt for my life. I don't mean it's too much.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: I can't take anything else. I know that I don't
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: have the hardest life. I know how lucky I am.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: I know that.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: You don't need to compare because just what you do
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: is very difficult. Don't make any mistake about that.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: I have a hard time with that. I feel very guilty.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: Listen, the nonsense. Throw someone else into your existence. First
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: of all, A, you didn't choose it. You were a
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: little kid and you became famous. B, being in the
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: public eye and just dealing with the things we're talking about,
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: about people writing stories that are fake about you, all
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: that stuff comes at a price. And if you read it,
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: it comes at a heavier price. But even just knowing
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: it exists, it gets in your head. You have to
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: be very strong to be able to ward that off.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: And the idea that you don't and that it's easy
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: and that a regular life is easier, horseshit. Regular life
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 2: is just a regular life. It's not easier or harder,
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: but what you do is fucking hard. It's very hard.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: You're very famous. Being very famous is weird. And being
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 2: very famous your whole life is even weirder. So a
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 2: normal person develops, right? You go through life and you
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 2: meet friends and you have to show that you're a
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 2: good person to get people to like you. You have
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 2: to show, you know, some sort of– some excellence at
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: something for people to praise you you're getting fucking praise
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 2: from the time you're a baby basically it's a weird
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: way to develop yes and so for you to reach
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 2: adulthood and try to be conscious and try to be
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 2: sentient and try to like to just stay balanced it's
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: you're dealing with a situation that 99.999 percent of the
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: population has no fucking idea what you're handling Yeah. The
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: only people that are going to understand it are people
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: that also grew up famous. Yeah.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: Which I have a hard time with because I haven't
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: made that exactly my peer group. And now I kind
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: of am like, I think I've been really searching for
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: some sort of normalcy in my life. And for sure.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: And so I think I haven't surrounded myself with the
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: top of, of kind of people that are also at this,
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: at this level. Um, Because I feel– I have a
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: lot of guilt. Like I feel like I would be–
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: I feel like that would make me shallow or something
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: for only surrounding myself for like rich and famous people.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: Right. And that kind of makes me sick. But people
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 2: do that because they're the only ones that can relate
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 2: to you.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: And that's what I'm working on.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you feel like people that are regular folks, they
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: treat you weird or they like you more than they
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 2: should or that they– You know, they praise you more
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 2: than they should because you're an alien.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: You're this, like, oh, she's fierce. She's fucking Miley Cyrus.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: You're not like a regular person that walks into a
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: room and you'll never be a regular person.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: And I think rather than trying to prove, like, excellence
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: in any way when I walk in a room, I
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: try to prove really hard that I'm normal.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 2: That you're normal. Yeah.
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: You want to be normal. And that's exhausting.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: But I don't want to be normal, which is funny
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: because it's kind of like you make a goal. You know,
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: I do this. with Amen about making a goal and
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: then going towards what I want. And it's like, I
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: don't want to be normal, but I constantly struggle with,
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: am I a fucking rich asshole?
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: Well, this is the beautiful thing. The beautiful thing is
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 2: that you're thinking. You're thinking about all this. You're balancing
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 2: it out. But this is not a path that very
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 2: many people have gone through successfully. And so that's why
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: you have to be careful because you're here right now.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: You're okay. Right now, Miley Cyrus in 2020, you're great.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 2: You're good. I mean, you've gone through divorce. You've gone
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: through this. You've gone through that. But you're right here
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 2: right now. You're okay. The path forward is treacherous. It
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: is going to be because you didn't develop like a
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: normal person. Every fucking child star. I mean, maybe like
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: Jodie Foster. How many of them made it through? And
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: I don't know her. Maybe that lady's crazy. She's an
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: amazing actress, right? There's a few that made it through.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: There's not many. And it's not a good path. It's
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 2: not a path that I would ever recommend to somebody.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: And once you've gone through it, there's no way to
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 2: go back and do it all over again, right?
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: But I say with confidence that I feel like I
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: could be the one because I feel like I don't
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: expect it to be easy and I don't even want
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: it to be. Actually, I had a guy trying to
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: be shitting me one time said, you want a guy
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: that'll just do whatever you want? I said, that's where
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: you're wrong. I want like all the challenging things. If
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: it's something that's easy, I don't fucking want it. I
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: never have. That's why I didn't keep living my life
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: in Nashville where we were the biggest fish in the
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: small pond and all that kind of thing. You know,
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: I needed more. And the reason why I say that
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: with confidence is because I'm really willing to do the work.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: And I'm also, I'm willing to look at myself from
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: a human level and also look at like what my
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: body needs to thrive. And I know that it can't
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: be cocaine for me. And I know that it can't
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: be alcohol. And I know that unfortunately, I love fucking fish.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: But at this point, I got to eat it to
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: be able to have my brain to work as quickly
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: as you and I are going right now or what
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: I have to do later today and going to the
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: studio tonight. And I, I understand myself from a human,
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: there's nothing about me that thinks I am superhuman. And
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: I think that I think I would, I would take
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: that as something that that makes me unique because I
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: don't think that I'm really I know that there's something
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: special about me in my life but I don't feel
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: that on this level of of being a human that
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: I'm different and so I know what it takes to
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: keep this motor going, and I also know when to
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: take time.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: Well, all those things you said are perfect. As long
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: as you have doubt, as long as you wanna do better,
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: as long as you're recognizing who you are is not
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: exactly who you wanna be. You wanna be better, you
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: wanna figure it all out, you wanna work it all through,
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 2: and you have this weird guilt, from growing up in
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 2: this weird way.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: It's bad.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: It has to be. You're a fucking superstar when you're
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 2: a little kid.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: The guilt's crazy.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: There's no way around it. And if you hang out
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 2: with normal people, they're going to stick that in your face.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: A lot of people hold my guilt. They know it's
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: a weakness, so they use it with me a lot.
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 2: You got to find people that don't do that.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah. That's why my crew is pretty small.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: Beautiful. Well, they're all nice people. They are.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: And they've all been in my life for over 10 years.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: And that is possible. People ask people that are famous, like,
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: is it possible that you could find people that don't
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 2: get weird around you. Yeah, you could find them, but
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 2: they have to be strong people.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: You have to have people that have their own personal sovereignty,
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 2: people that can hold their own space. They don't need you.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: They just love you. Yeah.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, man, man. You know, I had someone that that
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 1: tried to tried to hurt me and say that. I mean,
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: I really have had I've I've I've had really amazing
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: people in my life, but I've had people that have
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: tried to hurt me, too. I even brought my little
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: scarf just in case I got emotional because I really might.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: I had someone recently try to tell me that everyone
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: in my life is afraid of me. And that, like,
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: that really makes me upset just because.
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 2: Well, I bet a lot of people in your life
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: are afraid of you.
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: I think everyone in my life that I have in
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 1: my close inner circle really loves me. And so to
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: say that everyone in my life acts out of fear
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: of me... My mom, I'm almost fucking 30. She will
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: whip my ass. Like, my mom will actually hit me.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 2: But I don't mean it in a bad way.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: I don't mean that they're afraid of you, like, afraid
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 2: you're going to do something terrible and they're afraid around you.
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 2: You're a powerful thing. There's no getting away from who
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: you are. You got to kind of accept that you're
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 2: Miley Cyrus. You're a very strange thing. There's one Miley
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 2: Cyrus in the universe that we know of. It's you.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 2: And you're really fucking famous. And you're really young. It's weird.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 2: There's no getting around that. And the fact that you
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 2: feel guilt about all this and the fact that you
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: want things to be difficult, those are all the best
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 2: indicators that you're trying to do better. Like you get it.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 2: You do get it. And you know that you have
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: a hard road. And the people that don't think you
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 2: have a hard road, they're out of their fucking mind.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 2: Like I didn't get famous until I was much later
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 2: in life. And it was a slow drip into my
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: 30s and into my 40s.
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: That seems healthier.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: It was way healthier.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: That seems healthy.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 2: But I also, during the whole time, did martial arts.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 2: So I was always humbled. I was always getting my
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 2: ass kicked. Yeah. And I feel like those two things
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: are the only things that saved me from my own brain.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 2: Because people are not designed to be famous.
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: That's why kings are all tyrants. Yeah. When you're the
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: one person who gets to make all the calls, absolute
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: power can... It corrupts, absolutely. It's a common expression, right? Yes, absolutely.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 2: That happens with famous people.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to have a good relationship with the power
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: and feel a healthy dynamic towards it.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 2: The way you're describing it is perfect. Look, the Ellen situation.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know Ellen. She's probably a nice lady. But
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: she's in control. She's in control of all these people,
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 2: and they're all scared of her. She's like, fuck you.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 2: Where's my tea? You know, that kind of shit, that's
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 2: not a good place for a person to be, to
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: have that much control over that many people.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 1: See, that's where I'm really, really proud of myself, that
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: I don't live in that world. And I think I
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: could probably also mark that up to animals and how
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: much I love them.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 2: I'm sure.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: And I think that's what led to my veganism for
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: a time. Right. The fact that tonight I have to
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: put powder on my dog's ass, that makes me happy.
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 2: What does the powder do? I don't get what the
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 2: powder does.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: Apparently— I think it kind of just hopefully conceals in some
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: way how disgusting. It's very, very out there and in
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: your face, and I think it's more of like a concealer.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: But I'm really happy that Kate Moss— hey, guys, I get
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: to say Kate Moss makes me put baby powder on
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: her ass. Just use that as the teaser. Yeah. One
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: time Kate Moss made me put baby powder on my ass.
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: It's called monkey butt. So that makes me happy. And
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: one of my dogs, he's obsessed with drinking out of
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: the pool. And so he throws up all the time.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: And it's disgusting. And it honestly always makes me happy.
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: And the one thing that I like about my dogs
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: is that they don't know who I am. I mean,
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 1: they know that they got a good living situation. They're
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: probably like, I wonder what she does for a living.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: But because their life is pretty good and they get
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 1: to go to other cool places also. But yeah, my
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: dogs don't know who I am. So I like that.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: And the cats scratch the shit out of me all
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: the time. And the pigs are horrible. They bite my ankles.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 1: I love it about them.
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I bet that's one of the ways you
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 2: achieve balance is through animals. That's probably why you like
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 2: them so much because they don't treat you like you're
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 2: an alien. They just treat you like your mama.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: Exactly. And yeah, their appreciation and gratitude level is something
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 1: that I aspire to kind of recreate in my own life.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: I love how gracious they are.
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 2: I think I really respect the way you're looking at things.
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 2: Thank you. I like the fact that you know that
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 2: you're in this weird situation and you actually feel guilty
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 2: for it. I don't think it's necessarily good to feel guilty,
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 2: but the fact that you do is strong because it
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 2: shows that you're conscious of how weird it is.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: And we've been working on my guilt a lot. And
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: what's funny is like. I always want to cancel therapy
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 1: when nothing's going on, which I guess is when we
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 1: kind of need it. But I always want to cancel it.
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: And then we start talking about guilt and like we
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: got it. You know, we got to work on your
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 1: guilt and whatever. But I'm like, I only call you
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 1: out of guilt. I don't want to do therapy and
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: I don't even want to talk to you about what's
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: going on in my life. So we can't get rid
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: of it too much because guilt makes us do good things.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: I feel the same way about fear and anxiety.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 2: I do too.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 1: Healthy fear, healthy anxiety.
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 2: That's one of the things I like about weed.
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 1: That's the mask.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 2: I like to get scared.
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 1: You like to get scared?
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. I like to see the devil. That's my
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: friend Joey Diaz says it.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: I don't like that anymore.
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 2: I like to see the devil.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 1: I do not like that anymore.
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 2: I like to be paranoid. I like to freak out.
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: I had a very great ayahuasca experience that I saw
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 1: some things. I saw like– I guess people take ayahuasca
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 1: a couple of times and end up seeing these snakes
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 1: that end up like taking you underground and you kind
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 1: of meet Mama Ayahuasca and she walks you through everything.
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: So ayahuasca, the woman that I was seeing– It was
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 1: at the time where I just kind of started to
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: become really dedicated to the veganism. And she reached down
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: my throat and pulled out every dead animal I had
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: ever eaten and made me throw it up. But I
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 1: didn't see... the animal that it was. Like I didn't
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: see like a cow or pig or chicken. Like I
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: saw me puking up all the animals. I saw me
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: picking up seals, puking up a seal, not fun. Elephants,
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 1: all these different animals. And I would see all the
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: animals coming out of my body. And you're not supposed
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: to have like a companion in your ayahuasca trip. It's
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 1: supposed to be just about you. But I, you know,
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: like my life, the good perks, I got special treatment.
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: I could have my dog. So I had my dog
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 1: and I held my dog the entire time. And I
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: had a really, really intense trip. But since then, I
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: haven't really loved getting high as much as I used to.
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: It like unlocked something. Now I'm like, I just don't
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: want to puke up seals again.
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 2: Well, that sounds like you were dealing with some sort
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 2: of personal guilt.
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 1: I was dealing with guilt.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Not just guilt for being famous, but also guilt
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 2: for killing other lives to feed your own life that
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 2: you already feel guilty for.
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 2: It's all psychologically connected.
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 2: What you see through psychedelics is it's not just the psychedelic.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 2: It's what you bring to the psychedelic. That's why set
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 2: and setting is so important.
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 1: Well, you're supposed to be sober, I think, two weeks
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: before you actually do the ayahuasca, which I was the
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: only one that didn't do that.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if that's necessary.
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: I got a little cray-cray.
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 2: DMT will take you there no matter what.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 1: I've done some good DMT. I saw all my personalities
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: greet me one time on DMT. All my personalities I saw,
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: and then I was like, I saw me as like
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 1: a really ugly crier and then like me screaming, yelling
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: at people. And it was nice. As I was sitting
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: on the couch, as it started to hit me, they
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: almost kind of like accordioned back into my body, all
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: my personality.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 2: The thing about all this craziness and the manic behavior
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 2: and all of your guilt and all of your anxiety,
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 2: there's something that comes out in your music. There's some
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 2: of that that comes out in this energy. When you sing.
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 2: And I don't know if it would be there without it.
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 2: I think all brilliant artists are crazy. I've never met
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 2: one that isn't. There's something that they have when they're
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 2: bottling it all up inside. And whether it's they're playing
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 2: the guitar, whether it's singing. When they sing, it comes out.
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 2: And when you sing, it comes out.
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 1: But it's kind of new also. It's coming out in
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: a whole other way. I look at videos.
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 2: Well, you're different.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: I'm very different. And I honestly feel like... my voice
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 1: changed a lot after the fire. I could sing better
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 1: after the fire in some way. It's almost like it
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: like unleashed something like it did. And like, Maybe that's
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: what it is. Maybe I earned it. Maybe that's what
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: it is because I noticed that my voice got better
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: as I had trauma.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 2: Well, it's also probably you're more comfortable with who you
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 2: are having gone through that. The thing about having like
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 2: a really, not an easy life, but a privileged life,
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 2: like you've had so many doors open to you and
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 2: so much wealth and so much success, like When you
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 2: do something hard or something hard happens to you, at
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 2: least you go, okay, I got through. That was real.
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 2: Like, I earned that. I earned my point of view,
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 2: my place of peace after a storm.
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 2: And every storm that you go through, like, that's why
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 2: when you listen to Johnny Cash sing Hurt.
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 2: I mean, that is... How old was he when he
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 2: did that cover? He was like 80?
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was on the last time. That's all those years.
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 2: God damn, you hear that voice, and it's like there's
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 2: something that's coming.
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 1: It gives me cold chills thinking about it. Right, right.
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 2: There's something that comes through in the voice. There's something
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 2: that comes through in someone's art when they've experienced things.
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 2: yeah and this is this is what you're getting I
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 2: mean this is what your emotions and all that shit
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 2: that that bothers you and freaks you out and all
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 2: the chaos when you get in front of that microphone
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 2: that comes.
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 1: Out it's almost yeah I guess your life it's almost
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 1: like it's kind of art in the way of kind
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: of I feel like I'm always doing performance art in
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 1: some way, even in my personal life.
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 2: That's a problem, right?
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: That's scary.
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 2: It's hard to just be.
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: It's scary.
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 2: It's hard to be in the moment and just be.
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 2: You always feel like you're putting on a show. It is. Well,
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 2: it's because your whole life you develop putting on a show.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 1: You know, and we've talked, you know, obviously I think
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 1: a little bit about kind of in the beginning of
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: this talking about technology and how it's changed things for
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 1: me and streaming and all these things. But, It's also
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 1: giving everyone a voice, the people that don't need one
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 1: sometimes to say the things that they say. It gives
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: them a lot of power, and you've got to have
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 1: a lot of restraints. Like, listen, you're sitting with someone
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: that loves to do drugs. I can't take drugs anymore.
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: I want to, but because there's a repercussion, I won't.
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: That's the same way I feel about looking at shit
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: and looking at Daily Mail and looking at these things.
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 1: I won't do it, not because it's not tempting because
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 1: in a way that gives you a rush too, right?
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: You look at it, you get those adrenalines and the butterflies.
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: I'm someone that likes to get high. It gets you
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 1: high drama. So I try not to watch any dramatic
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 1: TV or things like that because I'm also kind of
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: a parrot. I'm a sponge. I never grew out of that. Kids,
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 1: they hear something, they can do it. I've always been
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 1: like that. You show me once, I can do it
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: right now. But that's why I shouldn't watch dramatic television.
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 2: Right. Well, that's why I always feel weird when girls
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 2: are really into those true crime shows about rape and
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 2: murder and shit.
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: You're like, no.
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 2: Shut that off.
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's not.
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 2: Jesus Christ.
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's really that healthy. That's why I
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 1: love RuPaul's Drag Race. It's like nothing really harmful is
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 1: going to come out of just slapping some wigs on
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: and calling it a day. They do death drops in
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 1: a whole other way than what you guys do out
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 1: there on the mats. This is some intense shit.
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 2: I have never watched.
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 1: You've never seen a death drop?
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 2: What does RuPaul's Drag Race do? What do they do?
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. What? This is crazy. It's my favorite. Okay, honestly.
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 1: Like RuPaul, RuPaul, when I said earlier I'm not religious,
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 1: that's a lie. I am RuPaul's Batarian. Like I fuck
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 1: with RuPaul. RuPaul is God. RuPaul lives by, if you
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 1: can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 1: to love anybody else?
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 2: RuPaul lives on a ranch in Wyoming. I love that.
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 1: He's got it all figured out. RuPaul, Mama Ru, she's
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 1: my life. And the reason I love to watch her
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 1: so much is really– There's a thing that they do
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 1: on the show, and it's called The Reading Room. It's
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 1: called The Library.
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 2: What is the show? Because I know the name of
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 2: the show, but I don't even.
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 1: Know what it is. So the drag queen's from all
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: over the country, and now they're going all over the world.
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 1: They've got RuPaul's Drag Race everywhere.
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, shit.
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. It's all over the world. I watch RuPaul's Korea,
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: RuPaul's Canada. We watch everything. Oh, here it is. Oh, yeah. Oh,
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: this is one of my favorite, Alyssa Edwards.
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 2: Jesus Christ.
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 1: I think I might even be in the audience.
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 2: You know who that is?
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 2: Ow.
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm telling you. Ooh.
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 2: Look at that guy clapping.
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 2: Look at the way they're clapping. I was here.
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 1: Look at her.
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 2: Look at her. The way they're clapping is amazing. Oh,
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 2: my God. Whoa.
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 2: Kick off the shoes.
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 1: See, I know who that is. Oh, you know who
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 1: that is? Yeah, I know Latrice.
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. That's a big person to be doing
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 2: that kind of a split.
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 1: She's got a song called Big Big Girl. And she says, wait,
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: come over here and pour some more food up on
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 1: this plate. I ain't going to the gym, bitch. I
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 1: ain't losing no weight. Look at me. I'm sickening. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 1: I'm sickening. Ooh, I may be fat, bitch, but you're
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 1: ugly and I can lose weight.
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 2: Oh, shit.
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 1: I'm right there. There I am.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: I'm in the audience. So are my two friends that
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 1: are here with me today.
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. Oh, bitch.
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 1: She's so sickening. Yas, Kennedy!
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 2: You know who Kennedy is?
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 1: I know every single one of them.
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 2: They all do the same move. They drop down and
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 2: do the splits.
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 1: That's what I think when I'm watching your shows, too.
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 1: You know, all the same stuff.
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 2: But this move of the splits, they all do this.
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 2: That's the move.
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 1: It's the money move.
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, the money move is the splits.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 1: Look out. She got money in her hand. Look, they're
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: throwing it at her.
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 2: They're throwing money at her.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 1: She's an OG.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 2: They should call this show, I Do the Splits.
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 1: Death Drop.
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I got a highlight video of all these.
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 1: It's called Best Death Drops and Splits. Oh. I've seen
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 1: this one.
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 2: So is that Death Drop when you do the splits?
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 1: That was a Death Drop and split. That's also a very, that's, oh,
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 1: here she goes.
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 2: Yaw.
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 1: Ooh.
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 2: Ka. Ooh. Yaws.
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 1: Ow!
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 2: Bam. So is that a death drop?
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 1: No, that was a split.
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 2: Okay. What is the difference?
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 1: Death drop, you'll see it's when you go from standing.
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 1: Let's see. No, that's a split.
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 2: They're all splits.
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 1: You got to find death drops. That's not a death drop.
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 1: Look up... It's season, I believe, maybe 10, or no,
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 1: season nine, Laganja Estranja.
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 2: Laganja Estranja.
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 1: Oh, there, that's the death trap. That's her, Laganja Estranja.
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, there you go. What about Jinx Monsoon?
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 1: Oh, she just does a bad split, bit me.
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 2: She needs a little bit of flexibility there. That wasn't great.
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 1: We love Monet. She's Miss Congeniality.
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 2: Monet needs a little bit of flexibility.
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 1: I don't love her so much. I'm okay.
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 2: That's funny. They have to go all the way to
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 2: the ground. Alyssa's my favorite. Oh, Alyssa's your favorite.
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 1: So she's got her own show. She actually did the
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 1: VMAs with me. Now, you have to do a.
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 2: Full split to be taken seriously.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, there. That's a good one.
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 2: That's a good one.
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 1: That's a good one.
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 2: That's a serious split.
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 1: I'm clapping.
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 2: You can't have a bent knee?
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 1: Is that disrespectful? I mean, you're not going to get
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 1: any cash on the stage.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, if your knee is bent, it's not good.
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 1: No. That's LaGonja. She's got the best one.
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 2: Boom.
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 1: That was her big split, but she's going to probably
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 1: do another death drop. Another death drop.
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 2: Right here.
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 1: This is a real death drop right here. Ready? Go. Yaw.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 1: That's a death drop.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 2: That's a death drop. That looks like a good way
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 2: to blow out your ACL. Look at that right knee.
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 2: That don't look good. Oh, man. If I was doing
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 2: commentary on her, I'm like, she's going to be hurt. Yah!
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 1: Boom!
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 2: That is terrible for your joints.
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 1: It's got to be awful.
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, look at her knee.
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 1: Here she goes.
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 2: That's terrible.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 1: Oh, Cameron.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 2: Okay, here we go.
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 1: Bam! Cameron Michaels.
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's a full side split. Look at that. My goodness.
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 2: That's a lot of craziness.
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 1: So when you ask me why my hips hurt so bad,
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 1: it's from practicing this.
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 2: No. I don't death drop.
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 1: I do not death drop.
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 2: That will fuck you up. I mean, that's what fucked
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 2: Prince's hip up.
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 1: No, I don't do that. I tried it one time
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 1: at GAY, and it was worth it.
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 2: What is GAY?
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 1: My favorite gay club in London.
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 2: Oh. Boy, they just fucking nailed it on the head. G-A-Y.
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 2: They just called the club gay.
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 1: It's perfect. It's so gay, it's just called gay.
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 2: Why not?
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: It's iconic.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 2: What did you say? What happened?
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 1: Oh, this one's really crazy.
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 2: Oh, Jesus.
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 2: Oh, no. Oh, my God. That's the craziest death drop ever.
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 1: Aces.
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 2: So that's, wow, that's a brain damage death drop. That's
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 2: a death drop from five feet up. That's crazy.
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 1: Honestly, but I feel like I've come alive since watching this.
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 1: What it does to me on a level that I just,
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 1: I love it so fucking much.
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 2: Are they scoring them?
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 1: Well, usually in the ball, which is what you're doing,
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 1: you're bringing it to the ball like you're doing a runway.
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 1: Usually it's a one through ten, ten being the best,
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 1: and you say tens, tens, tens across the board.
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 2: So this, what's happening here?
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, this is a really good performance that I love.
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 1: And these fellas? Yeah, they're pit crew.
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 2: Pit crew.
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 1: They're kind of like the bitches that bring out the shit,
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 1: and they're kind of like, they kind of get.
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah. They help.
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 1: That's what I like about the show, too. I think
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 1: all the men kind of like having to be the
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 1: background dancers.
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 2: That blue paint is outrageous.
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 1: Her name's Alaska Thunderfuck.
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 2: Alaska Thunderfuck.
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's one of my favorites.
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 2: This might be my new favorite show.
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, Alaska Thunderfuck is absolutely my favorite queen.
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 2: Jesus.
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 1: I love Kitty Girl.
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 2: I think you've already had three or four favorite queens
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 2: just in the time we watched this clip.
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 1: Well, Alaska is the one that I love her personal music.
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 2: What about Alyssa? Are you turning your back on Alyssa?
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 1: No, Alyssa's my favorite performer. Oh. Alyssa is my favorite
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 1: performer slash dancer. Oh, I don't.
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 2: And Alaska Thunderfuck.
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 1: Alaska has got amazing music. Oh.
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 2: So Alaska Thunderfuck's a musician. Okay.
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 1: Her big hit single is called Your Makeup is Terrible.
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 2: Oh. I might have to watch this show.
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 1: It's really good. That's Detox.
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 2: Detox.
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 1: That's hilarious. I actually grew up hanging out with her.
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 1: She worked at Beecher's Madhouse, which was like a freaky club. Oh, yeah.
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 2: I met that dude before. I met him at the
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 2: comedy store.
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 1: So she, I end up, I kind of, that was
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 1: like my, you know. Studio 54, like that era. That's
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 1: what I did. So she was there. She was one
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 1: of the performers, so I know her.
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 2: That is hilarious. God damn it. So is this show
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 2: like this every week?
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 2: So every week it's RuPaul.
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 1: And until there's a new episode, I watch the same
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 1: one every day.
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 2: And who are the folks on the panel?
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 1: So usually there's a guest judge and then his best friend,
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 1: Michelle Visage, and that's Todrick Hall, who is like a
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 1: big choreographer and artist.
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 2: Hilarious.
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 1: I know a lot about this show.
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 2: You do?
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 1: There they are.
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 2: How often do you watch? Is this like your on tour?
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 1: I'm so thirsty for new episodes. I'm watching RuPaul Canada
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 1: right now. RuPaul's not even on it. It's just a spinoff.
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 2: What? How do they have RuPaul Canada if it's a spinoff?
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 1: She's a genius. She's the new McDonald's. She's got it.
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 2: So she just said, listen, I'm just going to put
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 2: my name on this and just spread it out to
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 2: Thailand and put it in Iceland. Oh, yeah.
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 1: Everywhere. Everywhere around the world.
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 1: They're really fun to watch. But without Rue, it's really
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 1: not the same because she drops knowledge.
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 2: Knowledge? Knowledge. Like what kind of knowledge?
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 1: Like when I do feel guilty about like all my,
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 1: you know, kind of what we talked about. Just like
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 1: when I start feeling that guilt and I feel guilt
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 1: that like when I tell someone I can't do this
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 1: because I need to focus on me or I need
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 1: to like take the time that I'm cooking for you
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: to be using that time for my meditation and I
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 1: become that person. Like I just give so much. And
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 1: I just love that she says, if you can't love yourself,
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 1: how in the hell are you going to love anybody else?
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 1: I really love that. Good point. It's a really good point.
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to just like that needs to be tattooed
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 1: on my brain.
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 2: Well, RuPaul's also been around a long time.
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 1: Also a really great peer.
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 2: The ups and downs.
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 1: And look what she created, from a world that, I mean, still,
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 1: even in 2020, that's just not acceptable. I live in Nashville, Tennessee.
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 1: None of my friends in Nashville, they all don't know
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 1: what I'm watching. I can't believe that. And it's just
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 1: like the way that she's won. I think she's up
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 1: for like 14 Emmys this year.
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 2: What did she break out with? What was like the
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 2: first thing that she got popular with?
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 1: Booty. What's her movie? Something booty.
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 2: Booty.
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 1: Something you could look it up RuPaul Booty I'm gonna
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 1: be so annoyed because I have the DVD yeah.
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 2: Was she famous for a song.
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 1: Like yes like you better work that's right supermodel work
• 1:29:11
  Speaker 1: it girl give it a.
• 1:29:11
  Speaker 2: Twirl right right right what year was.
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 1: That wasn't it like what is it 80s 90s.
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 2: That might have been right around the time your dad popped.
• 1:29:21
  Speaker 1: 90s why he didn't collab with Ru I'll never understand.
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 2: That would have been that would have pushed him over
• 1:29:26
  Speaker 2: the top that really would have yeah yeah So RuPaul
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 2: drag queen. Remarkable longevity for RuPaul, right?
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, RuPaul is the only one that in
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 1: my book compares to Dolly.
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 2: That is crazy if you really stop and think about that.
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 2: That is 30 fucking years of longevity.
• 1:29:43
  Speaker 1: That's her.
• 1:29:44
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: Look at the picture of her.
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: Girl, look how beautiful.
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 2: Look at the exaggerated femininity that drag queens have. Embrace.
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 2: I love that aspect of it.
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 1: That's called painting for the gods.
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 2: Painting for the gods?
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 1: Painting for the gods.
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 2: Show me.
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 1: Painting for the gods. I'm not painted for the gods
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 1: right now.
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 2: Oh, you mean with the makeup?
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 1: The makeup. So when you're like, you're painted for the gods.
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 1: That means like your makeup is like you have drawn
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 1: on that face.
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 2: Now, is that a drag queen expression?
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 2: Painting for the gods? Is it okay to say drag queen?
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 1: Drag queen's all good.
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 2: Okay. That one hung around.
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 1: We love drag queen.
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? There's certain expressions from back
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 2: in the day that you can't say anymore.
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 1: There's even been a drag queen on the show that
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 1: is a straight male that just does drag.
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 2: Wait, what?
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 1: There's a straight male on there. Are you sure?
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 2: Yes. I bet you could talk him into some gay stuff.
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 1: He's a straight male.
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 2: Just got to get him drunk. Sure he's straight.
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 1: Isn't that all of us?
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 2: Wink. He is. Oh, yeah, for sure.
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 1: I believe what he says.
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 2: Well, he's probably really good at it, right? Really good
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 2: as a drag queen?
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 1: He knows what's sexy. He knows what he wants.
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 2: Right, right, right.
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 1: I love that, yeah.
• 1:30:52
  Speaker 2: But that was explained to me about some men who
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 2: love women but like to dress as women. Like there's
• 1:30:58
  Speaker 2: a kink.
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 2: Like they like to be sexy.
• 1:31:00
  Speaker 1: I actually dressed as a man for RuPaul's Drag Race.
• 1:31:04
  Speaker 1: My name was BJ if we can show you that
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 1: because I'm kind of like a hot dude.
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 1: I look a lot like Justin Bieber. People tell me
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 1: that all the time. Like if I have a little
• 1:31:12
  Speaker 1: scruff and like a side swoop, I go Bieber really quick.
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 2: Really? Yeah.
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 1: But my name was BJ on the show and I
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 1: dressed as a guy and I kind of thought it
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 1: was kinky.
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, do you feel like a bad girl when
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 2: you dress like a boy?
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 1: No, this is 2020. Like, playing with gender roles is
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 1: just so not, there's no shock value to it anymore.
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 1: There's no shock value to it?
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 2: There's no shock value to it.
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 1: Not in my community.
• 1:31:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, in your community of drag queen people.
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 1: In my community. Painted for the gods. We're painted for
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 1: the gods. We're beat. The beat, that's like you're beating
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 1: your mug. What? That means you've fucking pounded that shit
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 1: into your face like, Even if you took a wipe
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 1: and went like this, you'd still look like a woman. Like,
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 1: you have beat your mug.
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 2: That's what it's called? You beat your mug?
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 1: Yes. You should see me. If I had my brush
• 1:31:55
  Speaker 1: in here, I'd show you how you do it.
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 1: You just, like, pound it.
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 2: There it goes.
• 1:31:59
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, there I am.
• 1:31:59
  Speaker 2: There you are. That's you?
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, so they can't see me. I'm in a
• 1:32:02
  Speaker 1: double-sided mirror, so they just see themselves, but I see them.
• 1:32:05
  Speaker 2: That's you?
• 1:32:05
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 1:32:06
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's hilarious. That is the fakest looking beard I've
• 1:32:08
  Speaker 2: ever seen in my life. That's like Team America, World Police.
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 2: Remember when the dude had to put on a fake,
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 2: remember when the puppet put the fake wig on? Yeah,
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 2: it didn't work very well.
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 1: They recognized me right away. But I swear it's the voice.
• 1:32:19
  Speaker 1: But maybe it was the beard.
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 2: It's your neck.
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 1: It might have been the beard. My neck?
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 2: You've got a girl's neck.
• 1:32:24
  Speaker 1: To femme?
• 1:32:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you have a girl's neck. There's no way you're
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 2: a guy. It's not even physically possible.
• 1:32:29
  Speaker 1: Are you sure about that? 100%. Yeah.
• 1:32:31
  Speaker 2: If I saw you, if you were like, With the
• 1:32:34
  Speaker 2: fake beard on your face.
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 1: You would know?
• 1:32:36
  Speaker 2: And then the neck. I'd be like, that's a chick. 100%. Damn. Sorry.
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 1: It's okay.
• 1:32:41
  Speaker 2: Some of those drag queens, they could pass as a
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 2: large woman.
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 1: That's why I brought a scarf. What if I wear this?
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 1:32:46
  Speaker 1: To cover your neck?
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You need a hoodie or something. Like zip it
• 1:32:49
  Speaker 2: up and put it over the top. I think you're
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 2: a young boy.
• 1:32:52
  Speaker 1: Hoodies aren't fashion.
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 2: Hoodies aren't fashion?
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 1: No, hoodies are fashion.
• 1:32:55
  Speaker 2: Some of them are, right?
• 1:32:56
  Speaker 1: Hoodies are fashion. I like wearing them in my own time.
• 1:32:58
  Speaker 1: Just don't want to be seen in public with them.
• 1:33:00
  Speaker 2: You wear hoodies in your own time?
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not in public.
• 1:33:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, why not?
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 1: Because I'm Dolly Parton's goddaughter. She would actually shame me
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 1: to the end of the earth.
• 1:33:09
  Speaker 2: So are there rules if you're tight with Dolly? I've
• 1:33:11
  Speaker 2: done a lot of things.
• 1:33:11
  Speaker 1: Like, I'm in here telling you about my ayahuasca trips.
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 1: This is all fine and dandy with Dolly. Let's not
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 1: even start talking about hoodies.
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 2: Dolly won't let you wear hoodies.
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, Dolly just— it' s not Dolly approved. This earth needs
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 1: to be Dolly approved. I'm telling you.
• 1:33:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. That's so funny.
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 1: Dolly is everything.
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 2: Somebody had a funny tweet about Dolly Parton once. They said,
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 2: I just saw a picture of Dolly Parton when she
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 2: was young, and she goes, And the tweet said, what
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 2: the fuck did Jolene look like? I want to know
• 1:33:39
  Speaker 2: who this Jolene chick is.
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 2: She must have been ridiculous.
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 1: Jolene must have been a fucking 150. I mean, there
• 1:33:44
  Speaker 1: was no one more beautiful than Dolly.
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 2: She was about as hot as it gets.
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 1: And I love the way that she created her identity, too.
• 1:33:49
  Speaker 1: She created her identity from the town whore. Yeah. That
• 1:33:52
  Speaker 1: everyone made fun of. And she was like, I was
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 1: looking at them like, this is an entire brand.
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 2: I loved it.
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 1: And she goes, I just tried to recreate that.
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 2: That's hilarious.
• 1:34:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:34:02
  Speaker 2: And she also just was so nice. Oh, my God.
• 1:34:05
  Speaker 2: It just came through in everything she did. It's like
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 2: she was so likable.
• 1:34:09
  Speaker 1: Man, she brings merch everywhere and she will get from
• 1:34:12
  Speaker 1: the bottom to the top. Whoever worked... On that set today,
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 1: getting a Dolly hat, you know, signed, getting donuts delivered.
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 1: Like she is just she's just as cool as it gets.
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, I do think that that's a big reason, too,
• 1:34:27
  Speaker 1: that I've been able to not even because she's going
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 1: to be mad, but you just don't want to disappoint Dolly.
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 2: Well, it's just you are very fortunate to be connected
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 2: to this like this lineage. You know, the fact that,
• 1:34:38
  Speaker 2: you know, you're you're tight with Dolly fucking Parton. Like,
• 1:34:41
  Speaker 2: if you're a young country singer, a man, and you
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 2: know Willie Nelson, like, holy shit.
• 1:34:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:34:46
  Speaker 2: Like, you tie it with Willie. Like, you got to
• 1:34:48
  Speaker 2: cultivate that relationship.
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 1: That was kind of my dad with George Jones. That's
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 1: who I grew up around my whole life. Like, George
• 1:34:54
  Speaker 1: was my dad's right hand. It was really painful for
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 1: him when he died because that was my dad's just
• 1:34:59
  Speaker 1: stake in the grass, you know?
• 1:35:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 1: For sure.
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's something about that, right? Like this old guard
• 1:35:06
  Speaker 2: that nurtures the young people coming up.
• 1:35:09
  Speaker 1: That relationship. And I really want to be that person
• 1:35:12
  Speaker 1: if I make it through the treacherous path we've discussed.
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 2: You're going to make it.
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 1: You're going to make it. I think so.
• 1:35:17
  Speaker 2: If anybody's going to make it that's gone through what
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 2: you've gone through, the way you're looking at it is... Look,
• 1:35:22
  Speaker 2: it ain't easy, kid, but you can do it. You
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 2: can do it.
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 1: Well, I would want to be that way with the
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 1: next artist. And I still am like, even from my position,
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 1: I never like to see say or seem like I
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 1: think I know something that a new artist doesn't, but.
• 1:35:36
  Speaker 1: I've been doing it now 15 years. My show came
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 1: out when I was 12. I'm 27, gonna be 28
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 1: in a month.
• 1:35:42
  Speaker 2: It's not even about whether or not you know something
• 1:35:44
  Speaker 2: that they don't. It's just what you know. And I've
• 1:35:47
  Speaker 2: had a lot of experience. It's almost irrelevant what they
• 1:35:49
  Speaker 2: don't know. It's what you know.
• 1:35:51
  Speaker 1: And I just feel like it's kind of... I never
• 1:35:54
  Speaker 1: knew jealousy or competition through Dolly, through Joan, through Stevie.
• 1:35:58
  Speaker 1: That's why when I reach out to Stevie, she says,
• 1:36:00
  Speaker 1: I know that this corona thing is going on, but
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 1: can we sit six feet apart in my backyard and talk?
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 1: I just want to be there for you. That's what
• 1:36:05
  Speaker 1: she wrote last time. It's like going through what I've
• 1:36:08
  Speaker 1: kind of been going through over the last two years.
• 1:36:11
  Speaker 1: I think, honestly, some of the physical pain is growing pains.
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 1: I feel like some of the growth that I've had—
• 1:36:18
  Speaker 1: Stress and quickly just stretching like beyond, you know, and
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 1: I just.
• 1:36:26
  Speaker 2: But just a lack of being stable in your mind
• 1:36:30
  Speaker 2: and the tension, that stuff manifests itself in back injuries
• 1:36:34
  Speaker 2: all the time. People always have weird back pains that
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 2: are related to just their life being all fucked up.
• 1:36:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:36:40
  Speaker 2: You just you're always tense. Yeah.
• 1:36:43
  Speaker 1: I am. I know. Like my back cracks like crazy, everything,
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 1: you know, down to when I'm asked what hurts, I
• 1:36:49
  Speaker 1: literally feel embarrassed to say from the end of my
• 1:36:52
  Speaker 1: toe to the top of my head pretty much hurts
• 1:36:54
  Speaker 1: a lot of the time. But I'm working on that
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 1: pain management and I do like CBD.
• 1:36:58
  Speaker 2: CBD is awesome.
• 1:36:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:36:59
  Speaker 2: I love CBD. It's gigantic.
• 1:37:01
  Speaker 1: Love it.
• 1:37:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But for you, I can't say this enough. You
• 1:37:04
  Speaker 2: need rigorous exercise. You need something like really hard. So
• 1:37:08
  Speaker 2: when it's done, you're fucking spent.
• 1:37:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:37:11
  Speaker 2: Just laying on the ground, can't breathe, puddle of sweat,
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 2: that type of shit. You need to exercise the demons.
• 1:37:17
  Speaker 1: I have a seven month German shepherd at home. So
• 1:37:20
  Speaker 1: that seems like a good, if anyone's going to put me,
• 1:37:22
  Speaker 1: that's who's going to put me through it. But you
• 1:37:24
  Speaker 1: need someone to push you.
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 2: You need to purge the demons. You got demons.
• 1:37:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:37:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah. They're in there. A hundred percent. But again, like
• 1:37:33
  Speaker 2: you don't want to, you kind of hold onto them
• 1:37:35
  Speaker 2: a little bit.
• 1:37:36
  Speaker 1: I know, I like to use them to my advantage sometimes.
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 2: Fucking music, man. There's something about the demons that come
• 1:37:40
  Speaker 2: out in the music. I mean, look, that's always why.
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 2: The great artist, like the thing about Robert Johnson, right?
• 1:37:48
  Speaker 2: They even thought he sold his soul to learn how
• 1:37:51
  Speaker 2: to play blues the way he did. And it's because
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 2: the fucking life experience came out in his music. You
• 1:37:59
  Speaker 2: need both of those. You can't be some person who
• 1:38:02
  Speaker 2: just lives in a fucking monastery and breathes in and
• 1:38:04
  Speaker 2: breathes out all day and then put out amazing art.
• 1:38:07
  Speaker 2: You have to have pain and life and stress.
• 1:38:09
  Speaker 1: I know that. pretty consistently today is balance. I think
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 1: that's pretty much got to be my mantra.
• 1:38:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, for you, I mean, you are born into
• 1:38:22
  Speaker 2: this treacherous path. You have this crazy position that you
• 1:38:25
  Speaker 2: find yourself thrust into where you're very famous at a
• 1:38:28
  Speaker 2: very early age. And also there's also these weird expectations
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 2: because you're famous for a Disney show, right? Which is
• 1:38:35
  Speaker 2: even crazier. And then post-Disney show, it's.
• 1:38:37
  Speaker 1: Like, oh, she's- And then that got erased by craziness
• 1:38:39
  Speaker 1: and wild and being a provocateur. And so now I
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 1: feel like I'm breaking out of another role in a way. Right.
• 1:38:47
  Speaker 2: You're becoming just yourself. instead of a rebellious person who's
• 1:38:51
  Speaker 2: trying to escape sort of the boundaries of your persona.
• 1:38:56
  Speaker 1: Well, that's why I wanted, you know, I have in
• 1:38:58
  Speaker 1: my music video, I have me with the microphone, with
• 1:39:00
  Speaker 1: the microphone stand. And the reason why that was so
• 1:39:03
  Speaker 1: important was like, I'm not just fucking getting naked anymore
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 1: and swinging around. It's about the music comes first. And
• 1:39:09
  Speaker 1: I feel like, I think people are very visual about,
• 1:39:12
  Speaker 1: And if you can hold the fucking microphone in your
• 1:39:14
  Speaker 1: hand and say, this is who I am. This comes first.
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 1: By the way, I don't come without this. Like at
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 1: the VMAs, they tried to get me to get rid
• 1:39:21
  Speaker 1: of my microphone for something that I'm going to be doing.
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 1: And I said, fuck no. Like, what do you think?
• 1:39:27
  Speaker 1: I can't be Britney Spears with the headset and the snake.
• 1:39:29
  Speaker 1: What's important? I don't want the snake. I don't want
• 1:39:31
  Speaker 1: the gag. You know, and there was actually even some
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 1: comments that day about, it was just an interesting conversation
• 1:39:39
  Speaker 1: in regards to lighting because I've been kind of, Learning
• 1:39:42
  Speaker 1: a lot, you know, from directors. I didn't go to
• 1:39:44
  Speaker 1: film school, but I have been put through that in
• 1:39:46
  Speaker 1: that way. So I directed the last video and that's
• 1:39:48
  Speaker 1: what I look forward to doing in the next like
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 1: 10 years. I'd love to write and direct and, you know,
• 1:39:52
  Speaker 1: kind of work on film in that way. And so
• 1:39:54
  Speaker 1: now I have a better understanding of cameras and lighting operation.
• 1:39:56
  Speaker 1: And so I was just asking some questions about not
• 1:39:59
  Speaker 1: even on some diva shit, like I only want to
• 1:40:01
  Speaker 1: get shot from this side, whatever. I wanted the lights
• 1:40:03
  Speaker 1: to be turned off and that the lighting of the
• 1:40:06
  Speaker 1: of the room was to be just lighting me. So
• 1:40:09
  Speaker 1: no key light, no beauty light. And beauty light is
• 1:40:11
  Speaker 1: always used on women. And I said, turn the fucking
• 1:40:14
  Speaker 1: lights off. You would never tell Travis Scott or Adam
• 1:40:17
  Speaker 1: Levine that he couldn't turn the beauty light off. I
• 1:40:19
  Speaker 1: want this red lighting. They said, okay, okay, we'll do it.
• 1:40:22
  Speaker 1: You know what? Just same thing that we would do
• 1:40:23
  Speaker 1: with the guys. Cause I was like, that's what I want.
• 1:40:25
  Speaker 1: And then something that I was doing, which I can't say,
• 1:40:27
  Speaker 1: but something that I was doing for the VMAs, my
• 1:40:30
  Speaker 1: bracelets kept getting caught and all this shit. And they said,
• 1:40:32
  Speaker 1: you know, you want to be treated like a guy
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 1: and lit like a guy. We wouldn't be dealing with
• 1:40:36
  Speaker 1: this if a guy was doing it. And I said, well,
• 1:40:38
  Speaker 1: a guy wouldn't be doing this because a guy doesn't
• 1:40:40
  Speaker 1: sell your show with sex the way that I'm going to.
• 1:40:43
  Speaker 1: And I'm aware of that. I know about what I'm doing.
• 1:40:45
  Speaker 2: You had these conversations with the directors?
• 1:40:46
  Speaker 1: I had these conversations with the directors talking to me.
• 1:40:48
  Speaker 2: That's a ridiculous conversation.
• 1:40:49
  Speaker 1: That's a ridiculous conversation. Also embarrassing. Because the conversation, once
• 1:40:55
  Speaker 1: you see what happens on the show, you'll understand more.
• 1:40:59
  Speaker 1: If you see it. But it might be hard not to.
• 1:41:01
  Speaker 1: You know, if you take walks like I do, you
• 1:41:03
  Speaker 1: might see it whether you want to or not.
• 1:41:04
  Speaker 2: If you take walks?
• 1:41:06
  Speaker 1: If you walk down the street and there's, I don't know,
• 1:41:08
  Speaker 1: maybe people sell magazines. I don't know about in COVID time.
• 1:41:10
  Speaker 1: Jamie will pull it up. You'll see it at some point.
• 1:41:12
  Speaker 1: He'll show me. So, yes. And so they're asking a
• 1:41:16
  Speaker 1: lot of questions about that. And, you know, like, well,
• 1:41:19
  Speaker 1: how long is glam going to take and all this stuff?
• 1:41:21
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I mean, I can't really nail
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 1: it enough, too. It's like I did come from the
• 1:41:25
  Speaker 1: world of Dolly Parton. And I love pop culture for
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 1: entertainment and escapism. And again, you know, we're joking about
• 1:41:31
  Speaker 1: the hoodie conversation, but I mean, like, you know, for me, I,
• 1:41:35
  Speaker 1: there's nights where I don't do that. You know, at
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 1: Chris Cornell, I had on a pair of black pants
• 1:41:38
  Speaker 1: and a fucking Chris Cornell t-shirt. That's what it was.
• 1:41:41
  Speaker 1: The VMAs is a pop culture show celebrating pop culture.
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 1: And I wanted to bring, especially in this time of,
• 1:41:46
  Speaker 1: you know, COVID-19, all these at home performances, like. I
• 1:41:49
  Speaker 1: want to give my fans escapism. Good old pop culture.
• 1:41:53
  Speaker 1: This is surrealism.
• 1:41:55
  Speaker 2: How hard is it to deal with people that are
• 1:41:56
  Speaker 2: directing you like that? How hard is it to deal with, like,
• 1:41:59
  Speaker 2: other people and their vision and their talking and their
• 1:42:01
  Speaker 2: this and their that when you are just trying to
• 1:42:03
  Speaker 2: get out what's in your head and what your vision is?
• 1:42:07
  Speaker 1: I get it done. You get it done. I get
• 1:42:09
  Speaker 1: it done, but my two– The balance that I found
• 1:42:13
  Speaker 1: is firm and kind. I don't lose my kindness, but
• 1:42:17
  Speaker 1: I also don't become a mat, but I am firm
• 1:42:19
  Speaker 1: about what I want. But in a way that, you know,
• 1:42:22
  Speaker 1: you might expect someone might say, man, she was a diva.
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 1: She was a bitch. But it's again, it's like, okay,
• 1:42:26
  Speaker 1: like have the weekend come in here and say the
• 1:42:27
  Speaker 1: same thing. And you would say. him, you know, or
• 1:42:29
  Speaker 1: Kanye is like a creative God. And it's like, come on,
• 1:42:32
  Speaker 1: why am I not getting that? I'm like, you know,
• 1:42:34
  Speaker 1: a creative mastermind, but I'm becoming a bitch. It's like,
• 1:42:38
  Speaker 1: no one would ever say that about Kanye West choosing
• 1:42:41
  Speaker 1: what lighting he wants on a performance.
• 1:42:42
  Speaker 2: It's such a delicate balance too. Right. Because when someone's
• 1:42:45
  Speaker 2: as popular as you, like you kind of, you know
• 1:42:47
  Speaker 2: what the fuck you want to do. Like, And if
• 1:42:49
  Speaker 2: this person who you're using as a director, if you
• 1:42:52
  Speaker 2: don't have a deep relationship with them.
• 1:42:54
  Speaker 1: That's why I started directing my own shit. And that's
• 1:42:56
  Speaker 1: why I loved making my last video so much and
• 1:42:59
  Speaker 1: directing it was because, one, I thought about my scenes
• 1:43:03
  Speaker 1: almost like a relationship. You're having a relationship with it.
• 1:43:05
  Speaker 1: When it's over, it's over. What's painful isn't the relationship.
• 1:43:10
  Speaker 1: It's that when it's done, you holding on for that
• 1:43:12
  Speaker 1: extra however long you try to make it work, something
• 1:43:15
  Speaker 1: that's not working. That's what I did on the video.
• 1:43:17
  Speaker 1: And that's what I hated when I was a kid,
• 1:43:19
  Speaker 1: you know, from directors not knowing what they want and
• 1:43:22
  Speaker 1: then getting frustrated with the child for not performing properly.
• 1:43:24
  Speaker 1: It's like, but you're not communicating. And I'm a child
• 1:43:28
  Speaker 1: and you're an adult and you're not communicating properly. So
• 1:43:31
  Speaker 1: you are working me into the ground to get something
• 1:43:34
  Speaker 1: that you don't know what you want. And that was
• 1:43:37
  Speaker 1: always really frustrating to me. And I think that's why
• 1:43:39
  Speaker 1: now a non-negotiable in my relationship or dating life is
• 1:43:42
  Speaker 1: you better know what you want. because I'm just not
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 1: interested in taking another 10 years like I did with
• 1:43:48
  Speaker 1: my first love, figuring that out.
• 1:43:50
  Speaker 2: Now, when you were doing these... Like when you're putting
• 1:43:54
  Speaker 2: together music, do you have anybody that, like if you're
• 1:43:57
  Speaker 2: doing an album or you have a song, do you
• 1:43:59
  Speaker 2: collaborate with people? Would you write the songs entirely on
• 1:44:03
  Speaker 2: your own and bring them to other musicians? How do
• 1:44:05
  Speaker 2: you construct something?
• 1:44:06
  Speaker 1: It's been different. So on Bangers, which I kind of
• 1:44:08
  Speaker 1: think my career as a solo artist, I guess, kind
• 1:44:12
  Speaker 1: of started there. I mean, not really. When I started
• 1:44:15
  Speaker 1: working on my very first record, and it was called Breakout,
• 1:44:19
  Speaker 1: and it was because I was kind of breaking out
• 1:44:21
  Speaker 1: of the character that I was in.
• 1:44:22
  Speaker 2: How long ago was this?
• 1:44:23
  Speaker 1: Like 2007, I guess. Maybe something like that. Crazy. 2007.
• 1:44:28
  Speaker 2: 13 years ago. Holy shit.
• 1:44:29
  Speaker 1: 2007, yeah. And I already had two records out already,
• 1:44:32
  Speaker 1: but they were as Hannah Montana. So you were 14.
• 1:44:35
  Speaker 1: I'm 27, yeah.
• 1:44:36
  Speaker 2: That's bananas. Yeah. Okay, so when you're on Hannah Montana.
• 1:44:40
  Speaker 1: And I already had two albums that were like number
• 1:44:42
  Speaker 1: one and had done all the things. And so then
• 1:44:43
  Speaker 1: I had this like.
• 1:44:44
  Speaker 2: How much were you working?
• 1:44:45
  Speaker 1: Pressure. Every single day.
• 1:44:47
  Speaker 2: Every Sunday too.
• 1:44:48
  Speaker 1: Sunday because I want to.
• 1:44:51
  Speaker 2: Jesus Christ.
• 1:44:51
  Speaker 1: Sunday because I wanted to.
• 1:44:52
  Speaker 2: All day.
• 1:44:53
  Speaker 1: I remember one time I came home and my dad
• 1:44:54
  Speaker 1: almost didn't let me go back on the road because
• 1:44:56
  Speaker 1: I was so thin. And he was like, what have
• 1:44:59
  Speaker 1: you been eating? I'm like, turkey, cheese, lasses. And he's like,
• 1:45:02
  Speaker 1: holy shit.
• 1:45:02
  Speaker 2: Who's taking care of you when you're on the road
• 1:45:04
  Speaker 2: if it's not your dad?
• 1:45:05
  Speaker 1: My grandma. My grandma and my mom. My mom... My mom...
• 1:45:10
  Speaker 1: has been my, like, my mom is the reason I'm
• 1:45:12
  Speaker 1: sitting here together.
• 1:45:13
  Speaker 2: So your mom and your grandma would come with you
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 2: on the road, and you would just go town to town,
• 1:45:17
  Speaker 2: arena to arena, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, eat, sleep,
• 1:45:23
  Speaker 2: wake up, there you go, here's the mic, you look beautiful,
• 1:45:25
  Speaker 2: go to school. Oh, school.
• 1:45:27
  Speaker 1: I did school in the morning.
• 1:45:28
  Speaker 2: What the fuck kind of school are you doing?
• 1:45:29
  Speaker 1: I had my teacher on the road with me who was, like,
• 1:45:32
  Speaker 1: the best, who I loved.
• 1:45:34
  Speaker 2: But no kids.
• 1:45:35
  Speaker 1: What do you mean? No friends.
• 1:45:37
  Speaker 2: No other kids.
• 1:45:38
  Speaker 1: Just my little sister and my little brother.
• 1:45:39
  Speaker 2: How weird is that?
• 1:45:40
  Speaker 1: That was pretty weird. It made my sister's life a
• 1:45:44
  Speaker 1: little difficult also because her idea of success is completely
• 1:45:47
  Speaker 1: blown out of proportion also.
• 1:45:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 1:45:49
  Speaker 1: It's all fucked up. And my brother too. But my
• 1:45:51
  Speaker 1: brother is very simple and I love him so much
• 1:45:53
  Speaker 1: and he'll probably be listening to this. And my brother
• 1:45:56
  Speaker 1: just has his chickens and his ducks and he's in
• 1:45:58
  Speaker 1: Nashville and he's in a small little place and he's
• 1:46:02
  Speaker 1: living more– I sometimes wonder if he's the smartest of
• 1:46:06
  Speaker 1: us all. I don't know.
• 1:46:07
  Speaker 2: Maybe he has less stress.
• 1:46:08
  Speaker 1: He has less stress.
• 1:46:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah. That's the thing about stress, though.
• 1:46:12
  Speaker 1: But he's also a fucking badass talent, but he just
• 1:46:15
  Speaker 1: saves it. He doesn't want to be on that level.
• 1:46:17
  Speaker 1: He wants to make music because he loves it. He
• 1:46:19
  Speaker 1: wants the people that are interested in him to hear it.
• 1:46:21
  Speaker 1: He doesn't have the, I got to grind until I'm fucking.
• 1:46:24
  Speaker 2: Does he have some shit that's online right now?
• 1:46:26
  Speaker 1: He has some shit that's online right now.
• 1:46:27
  Speaker 2: What's his name?
• 1:46:27
  Speaker 1: Brazen Cyrus.
• 1:46:29
  Speaker 2: And how do you get, does he have an Instagram?
• 1:46:31
  Speaker 1: He has an Instagram. SoundCloud. He'll kill me. Spotify. He
• 1:46:35
  Speaker 1: has a Spotify. He has a song.
• 1:46:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:46:38
  Speaker 1: Um, out and he did Fallon and after he did Fallon,
• 1:46:41
  Speaker 1: he's like, I don't think I want to do that
• 1:46:42
  Speaker 1: ever again. I'm like, what the fuck? He's like, man,
• 1:46:45
  Speaker 1: I was, I was too scary. No, thank you. And
• 1:46:47
  Speaker 1: he didn't.
• 1:46:47
  Speaker 2: I'm like, all right, good for him.
• 1:46:48
  Speaker 1: He had two shows, one at city walk universal down
• 1:46:51
  Speaker 1: the street. And he said, no, someone said I was
• 1:46:52
  Speaker 1: fat and my hair was ugly. I'm like, you know,
• 1:46:54
  Speaker 1: many times my I've been called fat and my hair
• 1:46:57
  Speaker 1: is ugly. And he's like, I'm not ready for that.
• 1:46:59
  Speaker 1: He didn't perform again. Then he's like, I'm going to
• 1:47:00
  Speaker 1: try it again. Fallon. I'm like, you're going to go
• 1:47:02
  Speaker 1: from universal city walk to Fallon, whatever. So I go
• 1:47:05
  Speaker 1: there and I try to change his shirt and he's like, no,
• 1:47:07
  Speaker 1: this is me. I'm wearing my flannel, you know, the
• 1:47:09
  Speaker 1: whole thing. So he goes out and kills it and
• 1:47:10
  Speaker 1: he goes, uh-uh, not for me.
• 1:47:12
  Speaker 2: Wow. Well, you know, maybe growing up and seeing all
• 1:47:15
  Speaker 2: the crazy shit that happened to you, It's almost like
• 1:47:19
  Speaker 2: growing up around an alcoholic and never wanting to drink.
• 1:47:21
  Speaker 1: Exactly. It can go one way or the other, right?
• 1:47:23
  Speaker 1: You either become my little sister who kind of wants it,
• 1:47:26
  Speaker 1: you know, and she's got a record out that I
• 1:47:28
  Speaker 1: love called The End of Everything.
• 1:47:29
  Speaker 2: What's her name?
• 1:47:30
  Speaker 1: Noah Cyrus. And it's the most depressing EP you'll ever
• 1:47:33
  Speaker 1: listen to.
• 1:47:33
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 1:47:33
  Speaker 1: She's 20 years old.
• 1:47:36
  Speaker 2: It's depressing?
• 1:47:37
  Speaker 1: She's emo. She's like an emo kid.
• 1:47:39
  Speaker 2: Oh, boy. Why is she emo? Maybe because she was
• 1:47:41
  Speaker 2: on the road with you and.
• 1:47:42
  Speaker 1: Didn't go to regular school. She has a song where
• 1:47:44
  Speaker 1: she says... my sister's like sunshine and it'll follow her
• 1:47:48
  Speaker 1: wherever she goes, but I'm more like a rain cloud.
• 1:47:50
  Speaker 1: You know, it's like, she's really got this idea of me.
• 1:47:53
  Speaker 2: Um, but she needs to go to the doctor. She is.
• 1:47:57
  Speaker 1: We're all at the doctor a lot. We, we have
• 1:47:59
  Speaker 1: like a salary doctor that just, we got to deal
• 1:48:02
  Speaker 1: with that. Yeah. She's, she's dealing with it. She's dealing
• 1:48:04
  Speaker 1: with it, but she's only 20.
• 1:48:05
  Speaker 2: So I worry about the hardest age for kids today too.
• 1:48:09
  Speaker 2: It's so hard, dude.
• 1:48:10
  Speaker 1: If you don't look like, these girls on Instagram right now.
• 1:48:13
  Speaker 2: They don't even look like these girls. I know. You
• 1:48:15
  Speaker 2: want to see something crazy?
• 1:48:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I do.
• 1:48:16
  Speaker 2: Look what my 10-year-old did. We were in a restaurant.
• 1:48:19
  Speaker 2: She took a picture.
• 1:48:20
  Speaker 1: Of me.
• 1:48:20
  Speaker 2: My 10-year-old thinks it's fucking hilarious when she does this.
• 1:48:25
  Speaker 2: You know where it is, Jamie, right? He'll put it
• 1:48:27
  Speaker 2: up on the screen. She took a picture of me,
• 1:48:29
  Speaker 2: and she goes, let me take a picture of you.
• 1:48:31
  Speaker 2: Make a face. I'm like this crazy kissy face. And
• 1:48:35
  Speaker 2: then she put it through this filter. That's me. No.
• 1:48:38
  Speaker 1: Yes. That's not real.
• 1:48:39
  Speaker 2: That's real. That's me. That's me through a filter.
• 1:48:42
  Speaker 1: Wait, that's not real.
• 1:48:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's me.
• 1:48:44
  Speaker 1: Are you fucking kidding me?
• 1:48:45
  Speaker 2: That's how bad these goddamn filters are. What's wrong with
• 1:48:47
  Speaker 2: your- I don't know. What's happening with their- Okay, so
• 1:48:49
  Speaker 2: that's the original picture, right? That's me and her at
• 1:48:52
  Speaker 2: a restaurant, and that's what came out. And meanwhile, if
• 1:48:56
  Speaker 2: you know my 10-year-old, she's fucking hilarious. She thinks it's
• 1:48:59
  Speaker 2: so funny. She's like, ah!
• 1:49:00
  Speaker 1: That's not right.
• 1:49:01
  Speaker 2: That is how fucked up these goddamn filters are.
• 1:49:04
  Speaker 1: How did she do that?
• 1:49:05
  Speaker 2: It's just a filter in an app. That's why these
• 1:49:08
  Speaker 2: girls are so insecure because they think all these people
• 1:49:10
  Speaker 2: that they see online are perfect. But every one of
• 1:49:13
  Speaker 2: those bitches is using filters, all of them, all of them,
• 1:49:17
  Speaker 2: all of them. And even people that I'm friends with
• 1:49:20
  Speaker 2: that contacted me like this is crazy. I use filters,
• 1:49:22
  Speaker 2: but that's fucking crazy.
• 1:49:23
  Speaker 1: So I don't have a filter on my phone and
• 1:49:25
  Speaker 1: I need to know though what your dog is using.
• 1:49:28
  Speaker 1: Like I don't even understand this technology.
• 1:49:29
  Speaker 2: You don't want it. It's witchcraft. It's fucking trickery. I
• 1:49:34
  Speaker 2: couldn't believe that was real.
• 1:49:35
  Speaker 1: The only thing I have on my phone is where
• 1:49:37
  Speaker 1: I can swipe on the Instagram story thingy and turn Paris.
• 1:49:41
  Speaker 1: You know where it kind of blurs out your pores
• 1:49:44
  Speaker 1: or something? That's all I got.
• 1:49:45
  Speaker 2: Don't even use that. It's ridiculous.
• 1:49:47
  Speaker 1: It looks pretty good.
• 1:49:47
  Speaker 2: No, you look great. You don't need that shit. No,
• 1:49:50
  Speaker 2: it makes you look like a cartoon. It doesn't make
• 1:49:52
  Speaker 2: you look really good.
• 1:49:52
  Speaker 1: I don't do any of the shit with like.
• 1:49:54
  Speaker 2: But girls want that. They want like no flaws. They
• 1:49:56
  Speaker 2: want everything to be like cloudy.
• 1:49:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. That's basically what it does. It makes
• 1:50:00
  Speaker 1: you look like a fucking clown.
• 1:50:01
  Speaker 2: That's not good. But that's not good.
• 1:50:02
  Speaker 1: I know. There's so much unprogramming to do on me.
• 1:50:05
  Speaker 2: It's so much on everybody.
• 1:50:06
  Speaker 1: There's so much unprogramming.
• 1:50:08
  Speaker 2: It's all these women out there that are these unrealistic expectations. Like,
• 1:50:12
  Speaker 2: I'm sure you saw that Khloe Kardashian picture that looks
• 1:50:14
  Speaker 2: nothing like her.
• 1:50:15
  Speaker 1: Where it, like, goes from, like, the hairlines, like, yeah.
• 1:50:18
  Speaker 2: Nonsense. They used Photoshop on her. I mean, it's like CGI.
• 1:50:23
  Speaker 2: I mean, you might as well be looking at a
• 1:50:25
  Speaker 2: monster movie. Look, she turns into a werewolf. It's not
• 1:50:27
  Speaker 2: who she is.
• 1:50:28
  Speaker 1: No, no. It's crazy. I mean, and even, like, for me,
• 1:50:31
  Speaker 1: I think... You know, in my real life, I don't
• 1:50:33
  Speaker 1: wear any makeup. I don't even, like, today someone asked me, like,
• 1:50:35
  Speaker 1: what do you use on your hair? And I'm like,
• 1:50:37
  Speaker 1: shampoo and conditioner. Like, I don't do anything to my hair.
• 1:50:39
  Speaker 1: I don't really do anything. And that's been really fucking
• 1:50:42
  Speaker 1: tough for me over the last few months, too, because
• 1:50:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know why. I guess I think as that
• 1:50:47
  Speaker 1: keeps happening, like, as these technology things keep happening on
• 1:50:50
  Speaker 1: Instagram and these filters keep getting better and better, I'm
• 1:50:53
  Speaker 1: compared to the people altering, you know, themselves either physically, like,
• 1:50:58
  Speaker 1: with all these technology things you can do and lasers
• 1:51:01
  Speaker 1: and all the shit or to the filters. And I've
• 1:51:04
  Speaker 1: had a really hard time with that, you know? And
• 1:51:05
  Speaker 1: I think, um, it's hard for me the other day,
• 1:51:08
  Speaker 1: you know, I get papped walking around my neighborhood and
• 1:51:10
  Speaker 1: like a really shitty, dirty Fleetwood Mac t-shirt that I've
• 1:51:12
  Speaker 1: been in for five days.
• 1:51:14
  Speaker 2: And it hurts. Just don't go online. Just detox from
• 1:51:19
  Speaker 2: all that shit.
• 1:51:20
  Speaker 1: No Wi-Fi like B-Ray.
• 1:51:21
  Speaker 2: Just don't pay attention to all these other women that
• 1:51:23
  Speaker 2: are doing these fucking wacky filters. Because that's where everybody
• 1:51:27
  Speaker 2: gets fucked up. It's the comparison thing. There's a book
• 1:51:30
  Speaker 2: called The Coddling of the American Mind. by Jonathan Haidt,
• 1:51:34
  Speaker 2: and he talks about young girls and depression.
• 1:51:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:51:36
  Speaker 2: And this gigantic uptick in depression that directly coincides with
• 1:51:40
  Speaker 2: the invention of the iPhone.
• 1:51:41
  Speaker 1: Uh-huh.
• 1:51:42
  Speaker 2: And that as the iPhone came up, and then pictures,
• 1:51:44
  Speaker 2: and then social media apps. So at first, a lot
• 1:51:49
  Speaker 2: of it was social media and people being mean to
• 1:51:51
  Speaker 2: each other on Twitter and all those things because you're
• 1:51:54
  Speaker 2: not seeing each other. I There's no empathy.
• 1:51:55
  Speaker 1: I've listened a lot about this, about the iPhone kind of,
• 1:51:58
  Speaker 1: I guess, mimicking, right, Vegas slot machines and things.
• 1:52:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 1:52:03
  Speaker 1: Like, it's actually, isn't it, I think it was called,
• 1:52:06
  Speaker 1: what I listened to was the slot machine in your pocket.
• 1:52:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, it is a lot like that. But the
• 1:52:10
  Speaker 2: thing about it with women in particular, with young girls,
• 1:52:14
  Speaker 2: is that they're comparing themselves to these cartoons. These people
• 1:52:18
  Speaker 2: that aren't even really like that picture of me.
• 1:52:19
  Speaker 1: You know, when I got sober, I had to delete
• 1:52:21
  Speaker 1: all the apps online. On my phone where I could
• 1:52:23
  Speaker 1: purchase things like I had to take off Amazon and
• 1:52:26
  Speaker 1: all the things on my phone because walking around with
• 1:52:28
  Speaker 1: that slot machine in my pocket, all of a sudden
• 1:52:30
  Speaker 1: I'm getting these bills and things. And yes, I care
• 1:52:33
  Speaker 1: about that. And I want to live financially responsibly and
• 1:52:36
  Speaker 1: all the things. And I'm looking at this. I'm like,
• 1:52:39
  Speaker 1: I don't even remember doing this. Like it's totally like
• 1:52:41
  Speaker 1: being high on drugs.
• 1:52:42
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 1:52:43
  Speaker 1: And things started showing up and you're like, what the hell?
• 1:52:45
  Speaker 1: It's too easy.
• 1:52:46
  Speaker 2: I'm in the middle of a book now about that.
• 1:52:48
  Speaker 2: It's called Irresistible. It's on my Instagram too, Jamie. Irresistible
• 1:52:55
  Speaker 2: is this book that is about how people are addicted.
• 1:52:58
  Speaker 2: It's by Adam Alter. And it's about how people are
• 1:53:03
  Speaker 2: addicted to your phones and applications. But it also goes
• 1:53:08
  Speaker 2: into just the actual physical aspect of addiction and how
• 1:53:12
  Speaker 2: it works on the brain and how we always like
• 1:53:14
  Speaker 2: to think of addiction as like it's something that you
• 1:53:16
  Speaker 2: get hooked physically and you can't live without it. No,
• 1:53:19
  Speaker 2: it's something that you have a compulsion to use and
• 1:53:23
  Speaker 2: you can't avoid that compulsion for some reason. And it
• 1:53:26
  Speaker 2: doesn't even necessarily have to be good.
• 1:53:27
  Speaker 1: No, and it can happen with things like love. And
• 1:53:31
  Speaker 1: I've even felt that too when it's like in the
• 1:53:34
  Speaker 1: most stressful times in my life, it's like, okay, I
• 1:53:36
  Speaker 1: can't reach for drugs anymore. Okay, I don't want to
• 1:53:38
  Speaker 1: reach for bad food. All right, I'm going to reach
• 1:53:39
  Speaker 1: for someone to love me. And it's like, you know,
• 1:53:41
  Speaker 1: coming down from something all the time.
• 1:53:44
  Speaker 2: Well, the beginning part of love is the most powerful
• 1:53:47
  Speaker 2: drug you're ever going to take.
• 1:53:48
  Speaker 1: It's like cocaine.
• 1:53:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's dopamine. Straight dopamine right to the fucking veins.
• 1:53:51
  Speaker 1: Dr. Amen has a book, Brain in Love, and I
• 1:53:54
  Speaker 1: read it a lot because I had a tendency to...
• 1:53:57
  Speaker 1: to need someone in my life at all times. And
• 1:53:59
  Speaker 1: I actually now, I really love just factual information. So
• 1:54:03
  Speaker 1: you can go, I'm not a total freak. That's got this.
• 1:54:06
  Speaker 1: I'm not a love addict. This is actually what is
• 1:54:08
  Speaker 1: happening to me on a level of, this is uncontrollable
• 1:54:12
  Speaker 1: of you can control how it affects you and what you're,
• 1:54:15
  Speaker 1: I guess you kind of learn to control your reaction. Exactly.
• 1:54:19
  Speaker 1: You can control your reaction, but when you love someone,
• 1:54:22
  Speaker 1: the first couple of months, You do feel like you're
• 1:54:25
  Speaker 1: high on drugs.
• 1:54:26
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 1:54:26
  Speaker 1: It literally is a drug. It's the same drip.
• 1:54:29
  Speaker 2: It really is. It's dopamine.
• 1:54:31
  Speaker 1: It's super powerful. He writes how it kind of goes
• 1:54:33
  Speaker 1: from more like cocaine, which is kind of a quick
• 1:54:35
  Speaker 1: hit and wears off really quickly, so you need a
• 1:54:37
  Speaker 1: lot of it. And then it becomes more like heroin,
• 1:54:41
  Speaker 1: where it's something that almost sues you. Actually, I called
• 1:54:45
  Speaker 1: the love of mine who I was with, and we
• 1:54:47
  Speaker 1: got divorced. It was almost like a pacifier. It was
• 1:54:49
  Speaker 1: that thing that I just needed, not because... we were
• 1:54:52
  Speaker 1: in love anymore, but because of the comfort and cause
• 1:54:54
  Speaker 1: my brain said, Oh, this feels better. This is comforting.
• 1:54:57
  Speaker 1: But actually knowing that I was giving in to an
• 1:55:00
  Speaker 1: addiction made me feel way worse. I had the hangover
• 1:55:03
  Speaker 1: next day. Okay. We sleep together. Next day we wake up.
• 1:55:06
  Speaker 1: I'm totally hung over. You know, it felt like a
• 1:55:08
  Speaker 1: relapse every time I go back.
• 1:55:10
  Speaker 2: Well, people do it to each other, you know, and
• 1:55:11
  Speaker 2: it's not even anybody's fault. It's like, you don't even
• 1:55:14
  Speaker 2: realize that you're a part of this drug cycle and
• 1:55:16
  Speaker 2: then you get involved in that. And then you find
• 1:55:19
  Speaker 2: some new person and you get lit up. Maybe some
• 1:55:22
  Speaker 2: new person you see at the gym or at the
• 1:55:23
  Speaker 2: office or wherever you meet people. And you're like.
• 1:55:27
  Speaker 1: Well, what's funny about this is like, you know, I
• 1:55:29
  Speaker 1: guess I just realized something about myself is all of
• 1:55:32
  Speaker 1: a sudden it's like unavoidable. You know, I'm telling you
• 1:55:35
  Speaker 1: this is not true. So this is where I now
• 1:55:37
  Speaker 1: retract what I've said, because I need to, I need
• 1:55:39
  Speaker 1: to work on this a little bit. So it's like, okay,
• 1:55:41
  Speaker 1: it's so untrue for me to see all these bad
• 1:55:43
  Speaker 1: things are in my face, no matter what, no matter
• 1:55:45
  Speaker 1: what I want to look at or not. I have
• 1:55:47
  Speaker 1: a really hard time looking at the good things. Like
• 1:55:49
  Speaker 1: when people send me the stats of my song, I
• 1:55:51
  Speaker 1: don't open it. When people send me the charts or
• 1:55:53
  Speaker 1: the views, I don't open it.
• 1:55:54
  Speaker 2: That's a good sign.
• 1:55:54
  Speaker 1: Because I don't want to get attached to success or
• 1:55:56
  Speaker 1: numbers or mean that my art Everyone said, literally, I'll
• 1:55:59
  Speaker 1: show you the text from my manager. He said, unless
• 1:56:01
  Speaker 1: it's a drag queen death dropping to her new single,
• 1:56:03
  Speaker 1: don't even bother sending it to her because she's not
• 1:56:05
  Speaker 1: going to open it. I think that's good.
• 1:56:07
  Speaker 2: That's a sign of you avoiding narcissism.
• 1:56:09
  Speaker 1: But I wonder why I feel like I can't avoid
• 1:56:13
  Speaker 1: the bad things and looking at them. Like I'm maybe
• 1:56:16
  Speaker 1: a little addiction of that, of looking at that. But
• 1:56:18
  Speaker 1: then why don't I want the hit of the positivity
• 1:56:22
  Speaker 1: of like seeing the numbers?
• 1:56:23
  Speaker 2: Because you want to work hard. Because you want things
• 1:56:26
  Speaker 2: to be difficult. When you see too much success, you
• 1:56:28
  Speaker 2: don't want to slack off.
• 1:56:29
  Speaker 1: I have no idea how many people listen to my song.
• 1:56:31
  Speaker 2: I have the same thing.
• 1:56:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't.
• 1:56:32
  Speaker 2: I have the same thing. I have the same thing
• 1:56:33
  Speaker 2: with podcasts. I have the same thing with comedy specials.
• 1:56:35
  Speaker 2: I don't read any of their reviews. I just keep moving.
• 1:56:38
  Speaker 1: That's why I don't do it.
• 1:56:39
  Speaker 2: I always do that.
• 1:56:40
  Speaker 1: And everyone's like, you want to hear some stats? I'm like,
• 1:56:41
  Speaker 1: I literally, you can ask them. I say, I won't
• 1:56:43
  Speaker 1: even know what it means.
• 1:56:44
  Speaker 2: Jamie will tell me some stats every now and then.
• 1:56:45
  Speaker 2: And I'll just go, what the fuck?
• 1:56:47
  Speaker 1: I don't even know what it means. Yeah.
• 1:56:49
  Speaker 2: Well, it gets nuts.
• 1:56:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know what it means.
• 1:56:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what does it mean? Three million streams. What does
• 1:56:54
  Speaker 2: that mean?
• 1:56:55
  Speaker 1: In the world of like how many seven billion, it's
• 1:56:57
  Speaker 1: never good enough for me.
• 1:56:58
  Speaker 2: It doesn't mean.
• 1:56:59
  Speaker 1: Oh, like three million, seven billion. I could do better.
• 1:57:01
  Speaker 2: Right, exactly.
• 1:57:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, three million is not enough.
• 1:57:03
  Speaker 2: Well, that's crazy. I think that's a sign that you're
• 1:57:06
  Speaker 2: looking at things the right way. I really do. Because
• 1:57:08
  Speaker 2: I think that's a sign of you. You know what
• 1:57:11
  Speaker 2: you were talking about earlier. You want to struggle. You
• 1:57:13
  Speaker 2: want to earn it. Because you think that you kind
• 1:57:17
  Speaker 2: of got these crazy gifts being famous at a young age.
• 1:57:20
  Speaker 2: All this wealth and success at a young age. You
• 1:57:22
  Speaker 2: want to earn it. So when you see success and
• 1:57:24
  Speaker 2: the trappings of success are wallowing around in all of
• 1:57:27
  Speaker 2: your fortune, you don't want to do that.
• 1:57:29
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:57:29
  Speaker 2: You want to hustle. You want to keep going. I
• 1:57:30
  Speaker 2: think that's a good sign.
• 1:57:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:57:32
  Speaker 2: I really do.
• 1:57:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. That's why, yeah, at some point, you know.
• 1:57:38
  Speaker 1: You can bring your kids. Maybe she can do that
• 1:57:39
  Speaker 1: weird fucked up thing to my face, whatever. You should
• 1:57:41
  Speaker 1: come and see some of the animals, especially when you're
• 1:57:44
  Speaker 1: in Nashville. I think you'll totally get it. I think
• 1:57:46
  Speaker 1: you'll totally get it if you're ever in Tennessee and
• 1:57:47
  Speaker 1: you come out to the farm and you see the
• 1:57:49
  Speaker 1: horses and you see the pigs bite my ankles and
• 1:57:51
  Speaker 1: all these things.
• 1:57:51
  Speaker 2: I'm sure.
• 1:57:52
  Speaker 1: I think you'll get a really good understanding of my
• 1:57:56
  Speaker 1: life and who I am.
• 1:57:57
  Speaker 2: My last comedy special that I filmed was Strange Times
• 1:58:00
  Speaker 2: for Netflix. And when I warm up for shows... I've
• 1:58:04
  Speaker 2: done all the work. I like to just put my
• 1:58:07
  Speaker 2: brain in another place. And I was listening to Malibu.
• 1:58:12
  Speaker 1: That's not what I thought you were going to say.
• 1:58:14
  Speaker 2: All the people on the set were making fun of me.
• 1:58:16
  Speaker 2: I couldn't imagine. My friend Anthony Giordano, who also directs
• 1:58:19
  Speaker 2: the UFC, by the way.
• 1:58:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I couldn't imagine this.
• 1:58:21
  Speaker 2: He's a good friend of mine. He's like, what are
• 1:58:23
  Speaker 2: you listening to? I go, Miley Cyrus. He's like, shut
• 1:58:25
  Speaker 2: the fuck up. I go, look. I go listen to it.
• 1:58:27
  Speaker 2: I put the headsets on him. And I had him
• 1:58:29
  Speaker 2: listen to it. But that song is so removed from
• 1:58:32
  Speaker 2: anything in me or my life. And I love your voice.
• 1:58:36
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 1:58:36
  Speaker 2: So it's a little escape for me.
• 1:58:38
  Speaker 1: That's cool.
• 1:58:38
  Speaker 2: So I'd be like dancing backstage, high as fuck, getting
• 1:58:41
  Speaker 2: ready to go on stage, listening to your song. Yeah.
• 1:58:44
  Speaker 2: Like just swaying back and forth.
• 1:58:45
  Speaker 1: That was the first song. Well, no, because I had
• 1:58:48
  Speaker 1: done Dead Pets. Dead Pets was where I started writing
• 1:58:52
  Speaker 1: my music where if you look at the list, it says,
• 1:58:55
  Speaker 1: because what's funny, okay, so if you look at Stevie
• 1:58:57
  Speaker 1: Nicks songs, things have changed a lot in credits. A
• 1:59:01
  Speaker 1: lot of it says written by Stevie Nicks, and it
• 1:59:02
  Speaker 1: doesn't say any other writers, but there are other writers
• 1:59:05
  Speaker 1: because there's music that was written. She didn't play every
• 1:59:07
  Speaker 1: guitar part and every piano part, etc., Now it's changed
• 1:59:10
  Speaker 1: in our credits and the way we do things. So
• 1:59:12
  Speaker 1: actually you have to put written by for anyone that
• 1:59:16
  Speaker 1: wrote anything musical on the song. So any guitar parts,
• 1:59:19
  Speaker 1: all that shit. So if you start looking at some
• 1:59:21
  Speaker 1: of the dead pet stuff, it'll say written by and
• 1:59:23
  Speaker 1: it'll say a group of people. But all the lyrics
• 1:59:25
  Speaker 1: were written by me. It's just any of the melodic
• 1:59:27
  Speaker 1: stuff in the track.
• 1:59:28
  Speaker 2: Is that all stuff that's new for money purposes?
• 1:59:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And I think the way that now streaming is
• 1:59:34
  Speaker 1: kind of making things a little bit more difficult because
• 1:59:36
  Speaker 1: you don't pay someone the way that you would in record.
• 1:59:38
  Speaker 1: When record sales, they get their money, whatever. So that–
• 1:59:40
  Speaker 1: it's something to do with that. It's very complex. And
• 1:59:42
  Speaker 1: they say that some of the best lawyers don't even
• 1:59:44
  Speaker 1: understand quite what's going on in the music industry right
• 1:59:46
  Speaker 1: now because we're having such– such a shift in the
• 1:59:49
  Speaker 1: way that everything's happening.
• 1:59:50
  Speaker 2: From sales of records to streaming.
• 1:59:53
  Speaker 1: Sales of records to streaming to videos to TikToks. TikTok
• 1:59:56
  Speaker 1: is like a freaking label now.
• 1:59:57
  Speaker 2: What?
• 1:59:58
  Speaker 1: So they pay TikTokers to TikTok to your music because
• 2:00:01
  Speaker 1: it counts as streams. I don't even understand it.
• 2:00:04
  Speaker 2: What?
• 2:00:04
  Speaker 1: I don't even understand it, but this is a thing.
• 2:00:06
  Speaker 2: TikTok is weird. Do you pay attention to all that
• 2:00:08
  Speaker 2: shit where it's like the Chinese government owns it? No.
• 2:00:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, I know that that's a thing. I also
• 2:00:14
  Speaker 1: know that it was like, you know, this is the
• 2:00:16
  Speaker 1: new way of the new label. Basically, labels pay TikTok
• 2:00:21
  Speaker 1: to be able to have these kids doing it. I
• 2:00:22
  Speaker 1: don't know if I'm supposed to say it, but they
• 2:00:23
  Speaker 1: fucking do. So then I said it.
• 2:00:24
  Speaker 2: Please say it.
• 2:00:25
  Speaker 1: It's all I know. It's true. So say it.
• 2:00:28
  Speaker 2: So they pay kids to TikTok to certain... So say
• 2:00:31
  Speaker 2: if you're a TikToker, like a big time TikToker.
• 2:00:33
  Speaker 1: There's like rich TikTokers that are like... Millions.
• 2:00:35
  Speaker 2: Millions.
• 2:00:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know about millions. We have maybe a different
• 2:00:38
  Speaker 1: idea of like Richie Rich, but for kids living in
• 2:00:40
  Speaker 1: a house here that there's TikTok agencies, yes. TikTok agencies.
• 2:00:44
  Speaker 2: So they're like, Marsha, I see you TikTok-ing. It's like
• 2:00:48
  Speaker 2: Black Mirror.
• 2:00:48
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, it's like some fucked up Black Mirror shit.
• 2:00:51
  Speaker 2: Wow, interesting. I didn't know that.
• 2:00:52
  Speaker 1: But the one thing that I told the kids that,
• 2:00:54
  Speaker 1: you know, These kind of influencers, I've spoken to some
• 2:00:57
  Speaker 1: of them before by doing some of this press. They
• 2:01:00
  Speaker 1: want me to play the song for them, whatever. And
• 2:01:01
  Speaker 1: the one thing that I said that I like is
• 2:01:03
  Speaker 1: at least it's kids creating content for themselves. Because I
• 2:01:06
  Speaker 1: used to have to go through all the middlemen before
• 2:01:08
  Speaker 1: I could put out a fucking video. I had to ask, hey,
• 2:01:11
  Speaker 1: Gary Marsh at Disney, is this okay? Hey, this person,
• 2:01:14
  Speaker 1: can I do this? But now it's like, shit, grab
• 2:01:16
  Speaker 1: your phone, put it up. You're in control of your
• 2:01:17
  Speaker 1: own destiny.
• 2:01:18
  Speaker 2: Right. I mean, if you wanted to, you could set
• 2:01:20
  Speaker 2: your phone up and just go live on YouTube and
• 2:01:23
  Speaker 2: play an acoustic set. And do whatever the fuck you want.
• 2:01:26
  Speaker 1: And I love that about that.
• 2:01:27
  Speaker 2: I love that about today.
• 2:01:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, me too. I love that. And yeah, so kind
• 2:01:32
  Speaker 1: of to that point was when I was working on
• 2:01:35
  Speaker 1: Younger Now, that was the first record I was going
• 2:01:37
  Speaker 1: to put out that was... for sale because i did
• 2:01:40
  Speaker 1: soundcloud with my flaming lips record so because i said
• 2:01:42
  Speaker 1: people don't want to hear me singing a song called
• 2:01:44
  Speaker 1: bang my box about me like having sex at a
• 2:01:47
  Speaker 1: lesbian strip club well then i'm not going to ask
• 2:01:49
  Speaker 1: them to buy it i'm just going to give it
• 2:01:50
  Speaker 1: to them as a gift and you're really the worst
• 2:01:52
  Speaker 1: thing they can do with a gift is throw it
• 2:01:53
  Speaker 1: away or not open it like.
• 2:01:54
  Speaker 2: Well that's a good thing of being in the position
• 2:01:56
  Speaker 2: where you're in that you could call the shots.
• 2:01:58
  Speaker 1: Exactly and the boss and it's like listen okay you're
• 2:02:01
  Speaker 1: not gonna make money off of it's like okay I'm
• 2:02:03
  Speaker 1: sure they're still selling a toothbrush somewhere that plays my
• 2:02:05
  Speaker 1: fucking song, and I'll get a dollar from that.
• 2:02:08
  Speaker 2: Are there any TikTokers out there to bang my box?
• 2:02:11
  Speaker 1: I don't think anyone's TikToking to bang my box.
• 2:02:13
  Speaker 2: Jamie, can you research that, please?
• 2:02:16
  Speaker 1: Honestly, I think everything on the internet's been done, but
• 2:02:19
  Speaker 1: I don't think people TikTok to.
• 2:02:20
  Speaker 2: Bang my box. I would love to see a bunch
• 2:02:22
  Speaker 2: of RuPaul's Drag Queens TikToking to bang my box.
• 2:02:25
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's happening.
• 2:02:26
  Speaker 2: It should.
• 2:02:27
  Speaker 1: Bang my box is very, very niche.
• 2:02:29
  Speaker 2: We could make that happen. I feel like we could
• 2:02:31
  Speaker 2: put that out there into the internet.
• 2:02:33
  Speaker 1: Look, it's not there.
• 2:02:34
  Speaker 2: They would go do work. Now I'm trying to find
• 2:02:37
  Speaker 2: a good version to show. I'm trying to be quick
• 2:02:39
  Speaker 2: about it.
• 2:02:39
  Speaker 1: I'm scared.
• 2:02:40
  Speaker 2: Listen, Jamie can find it if it's out there. He
• 2:02:43
  Speaker 2: has connections. To the dark web.
• 2:02:46
  Speaker 1: That's what I was wondering. You got that hooked up
• 2:02:48
  Speaker 1: here into the ground.
• 2:02:48
  Speaker 2: He's the best Googler on the planet. There's no one
• 2:02:51
  Speaker 2: even close.
• 2:02:52
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 2:02:52
  Speaker 2: He's a one-handed best Googler, too.
• 2:02:54
  Speaker 1: I know. Look at this.
• 2:02:55
  Speaker 2: He Googles with one hand while he's working the camera together.
• 2:02:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 2:02:58
  Speaker 2: Give me some volume. Let me hear a little bit.
• 2:03:01
  Speaker 2: Look at this guy.
• 2:03:02
  Speaker 1: I got it.
• 2:03:04
  Speaker 2: So we got a dude.
• 2:03:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay.
• 2:03:09
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 2:03:10
  Speaker 1: Look, this is how shit it is. It's got two
• 2:03:12
  Speaker 1: fucking likes.
• 2:03:13
  Speaker 2: Listen, for now it has two likes. Now people know
• 2:03:17
  Speaker 2: about it. Now it'll have more.
• 2:03:18
  Speaker 1: Now he's an influencer.
• 2:03:19
  Speaker 2: I'll retweet that shit later. Send that to me and
• 2:03:21
  Speaker 2: I'll retweet it.
• 2:03:22
  Speaker 1: I want you to bang my box. Point being is
• 2:03:26
  Speaker 1: if that was free and then getting to write younger
• 2:03:29
  Speaker 1: now and writing Malibu I wrote that in the back
• 2:03:30
  Speaker 1: of the car on the way to vote on the
• 2:03:32
  Speaker 1: Going to the voice because I was looking outside the
• 2:03:33
  Speaker 1: window in the car thinking like all of its true
• 2:03:36
  Speaker 1: Like I had never really gone to the beach the
• 2:03:37
  Speaker 1: closest I ever really gotten was my parents taking me
• 2:03:39
  Speaker 1: to Florida like one time and my sister got my
• 2:03:42
  Speaker 1: toe and Caught in the revolving door and like I
• 2:03:45
  Speaker 1: had to go to the hospital as a nightmare and
• 2:03:47
  Speaker 1: my parents swore We're never going on vacation again, but
• 2:03:49
  Speaker 1: most parents say and don't mean it my parents fucking
• 2:03:51
  Speaker 1: met it meant that we never went on vacation again.
• 2:03:54
  Speaker 2: That's crazy that you did all that work and you
• 2:03:55
  Speaker 2: never went on vacation.
• 2:03:57
  Speaker 1: Well, I went on my own vacations We didn't go
• 2:03:58
  Speaker 1: on a family vacation.
• 2:04:00
  Speaker 2: That song is so obviously written by you Yeah, and
• 2:04:03
  Speaker 2: that was one of the things that I think I
• 2:04:04
  Speaker 2: liked about it that it was uh when you listen
• 2:04:07
  Speaker 2: to someone sing a song like a really good song
• 2:04:09
  Speaker 2: and It's an expression of who they are at that
• 2:04:12
  Speaker 2: point in time in their life. And you can get
• 2:04:13
  Speaker 2: wrapped up in their mind. And I felt like that's
• 2:04:16
  Speaker 2: why I like listening to other people. I like listening
• 2:04:19
  Speaker 2: to songs before I go on stage because it gets
• 2:04:21
  Speaker 2: me out of my own head. And it gets me
• 2:04:23
  Speaker 2: into someone else's head. And then when it's time to go,
• 2:04:25
  Speaker 2: and they're like, you're on in three. And then I'll
• 2:04:27
  Speaker 2: take the headphones off. I'll do a shot. I'll stretch
• 2:04:30
  Speaker 2: out a little. And then here we go. That's me.
• 2:04:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, hell yeah.
• 2:04:32
  Speaker 2: That is. That's me listening to your fucking song backstage.
• 2:04:35
  Speaker 2: That's crazy. Yeah. Legit. I'm not lying.
• 2:04:38
  Speaker 1: That's nuts. Well, it's an honor.
• 2:04:40
  Speaker 2: I played that when Anthony was listening to it. He's like,
• 2:04:43
  Speaker 2: you fucking idiot. What are you listening to?
• 2:04:45
  Speaker 1: That's fucking wild. I never, ever, ever would have thought that.
• 2:04:47
  Speaker 1: Never would have thought that.
• 2:04:48
  Speaker 2: I like it.
• 2:04:49
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 2:04:49
  Speaker 2: I like your music.
• 2:04:50
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 2:04:50
  Speaker 2: And I like you. You're a good person.
• 2:04:52
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much. You too. I enjoyed talking to you.
• 2:04:53
  Speaker 2: I did too. I'm glad we did this.
• 2:04:55
  Speaker 1: Agreed.
• 2:04:56
  Speaker 2: So you got something that's out right now.
• 2:04:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:04:59
  Speaker 2: What is it? How do people get it?
• 2:05:01
  Speaker 1: Well, it's called Midnight Sky. And... even just the title
• 2:05:06
  Speaker 1: is kind of inspired by Debbie Harry's heart of glass,
• 2:05:08
  Speaker 1: but I pulled inspiration from edges 17, two of my
• 2:05:11
  Speaker 1: favorite songs, heart of glass. The reason I love it
• 2:05:13
  Speaker 1: so much is that the title isn't the repetition in
• 2:05:16
  Speaker 1: the chorus. It's just a cool thing to say. It's
• 2:05:19
  Speaker 1: not the chorus at all. Um, and so I thought,
• 2:05:21
  Speaker 1: you know what? My favorite part about it is, is
• 2:05:23
  Speaker 1: I love the, the kind of visual painting of midnight
• 2:05:26
  Speaker 1: sky and what that means. Um, And the midnight sky
• 2:05:30
  Speaker 1: to me is like, if you're really fucking partying, the
• 2:05:32
  Speaker 1: moon is a disco ball and the stars are all
• 2:05:34
  Speaker 1: the reflection of light on the ceiling. And what I
• 2:05:37
  Speaker 1: really like about the disco ball is that it's a
• 2:05:39
  Speaker 1: bunch of broken pieces put back together again, that when
• 2:05:41
  Speaker 1: you're finally enlightened, it makes this mesmerizing, totally attractive. Like people,
• 2:05:47
  Speaker 1: it's like, you know, it's like the bugs to the light.
• 2:05:50
  Speaker 1: Like people love disco balls, but it's really just a
• 2:05:51
  Speaker 1: bunch of broken pieces put together. And so I felt
• 2:05:54
  Speaker 1: like that was reflective of me. Wow. Pretty deep to
• 2:05:57
  Speaker 1: think about a disco ball.
• 2:05:58
  Speaker 2: That's heavy.
• 2:05:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:05:59
  Speaker 2: That's heavy.
• 2:05:59
  Speaker 1: But when I saw it, I thought, like, I recognize this.
• 2:06:02
  Speaker 1: This is what I feel like. All right. So that's it.
• 2:06:05
  Speaker 2: Let's end it on that.
• 2:06:06
  Speaker 1: And it's everywhere. It's on YouTube, streaming, and yeah, it's everywhere.
• 2:06:09
  Speaker 1: And I'm naked in it, so hopefully people will watch it.
• 2:06:11
  Speaker 2: All right. You're a bad motherfucker.
• 2:06:13
  Speaker 1: Thank you. You too. Thank you.
• 2:06:14
  Speaker 2: Thanks. Bye, everybody. Cool.
• 2:06:20
  Speaker 1: I like being in here. This is.