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The Human Instinct That Holds 91% of People Back · Motivation Mindset Podcast

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I kind of talk about people like automobiles. Right, we're
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: all human like, we're all automobiles. Some of us are jeeps,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: some of us are Ferraris, some of us are SUVs.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: And there's no judgment there because the jeep can do
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: things the Ferrari can't do. The Ferrari can do things
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: the jeep can't do. So the idea is, can you
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: lift your hood and figure out what engine you're working with,
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: because you may be a jeep that's been trying to
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: run on a Ferrari track or a Ferrari that's been
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: trying to run a jep track, And that's okay too.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: If you're a jeep that's running on a Ferrari track,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: if you choose to run on the fro track, that's fine.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: But what you can say, hey, now I know some
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: of those things that I can do and develop so
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: that I can better run as a jeep on the
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Ferrari track.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: It's all about how we.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Show up and using what we have to the maximum capability,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: find things that actually scare you a little bit. Right,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: if you are our introvert. We just talked about introvert extrovert, Right,
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: I'm an introvert if you are an introvert, maybe you
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: sign up to give a talk in front of people, right,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Maybe you go walk up to people and introduce yourself
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: to strangers. I don't like heights, so roller coasters, I
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: can't stand them. So when I'm with my boys, you
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: know one of them does like roller coasters, say Okay,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go on the roller coaster with you, right,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: so I can practice this idea of working through fear,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: because again, these life events that happened to us are
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: typically going to include that uncertainty portion. I mean that
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: first day of quarantine. You know, none of us knew
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: what was going on. All of us had uncertainty, and
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: those of us who understood what uncertainty feels like and
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: how to deal with it found ourselves fairly.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, pick a couple of different attributes that you think
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: have the biggest delta of impact on somebody's life if
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: they start to work on those, and also the greatest
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: ability for us to actually change those different characteristics.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Hands down, it's the grid attributes, and it's for of them.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: It's courage, adaptability, perseverance, and resilience. I believe those are
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: probably the most important elemental attributes for human existence, right,
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: because those speak to how we operate in the world
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: in every capacity.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Courage is stepping into our fear.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Right again, courage is you can't We've heard it all
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: the time, but people forget it cannot exist in the
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: absence of fear. And this has proved neurologically, right. Courage
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: is a switch and when we when we step into
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: when we choose the fight response, it's a specific switch
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: that that gets clicked in our brain which gives us
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: a dopamine reward. That choice doesn't happen unless fear is present. Right,
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: So so practicing courage is something that is always going
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: to get to help. People have to understand this. When
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: we get when we're given that choice fight or flight. Okay,
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: when we choose to fight, which means step into our fear,
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: our brain gives us, our body gives us a dopamine hit,
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: and dopamine the most powerful chemicalism planet right says.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: This is good. Keep doing this.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: It makes us feel good. It's also the root of
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: all addictive behavior. Right, Stepping into our fear feels good.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: And so this is what we have to do. And
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I think what you say is absolutely correct and what
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: the emphasis should be is the feeling afterwards, because if
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: people pick something small and do it, they're going to
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: feel great, you know, and it's because they're getting they're
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: getting hit with dopamine because of it, right, and then
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: they can step and try something else, you know, and
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: then try something else. But it could be karaoke, could
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: be karaoke, could be you know again, it could be
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: speaking in front. It could be starting a conversation. It
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: could be you know, I don't you name. It could
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: be listen if you're afraid of the water, it could
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: be swimming in a swimming pool, if.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: You're afraid of open waters.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Most people are fine in swimming pools, whether it's the
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: it's the open water. It might be just swimming out,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: you know, into the open water. But again, it could
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: be almost as simple as someone who is who is
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: and has been out of shape their entire lives and
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: they really want to get in shape.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: They don't know how to do.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: They say, well, maybe you know, they they maybe they
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: don't want to go start running or whatever. It's it's like, hey,
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna buy a pair of runing shoes. That's my
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: first step, you know. And then when I get in,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna put the running shoes by the front door, okay.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: And the next morning I'm actually to get up with
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: an alarm and I'm gonna put on my running shoes, okay,
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: And then the next day they do and then I'm gonna
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: put on my running shoes. I'm gonna walk outside. I mean,
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: you you can chunk this however you want. The idea
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: is to chunk it. You have to chunk it into
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  Speaker 1: into sizes that are meaningful enough for you so that
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: when you accomplish it, you feel that feeling.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Right, get that dopamine hit, because you will.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Love it, you know, if you do it, and then
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: you'll feel it and you're like, Okay, I'm gonna do
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: it again tomorrow, or take the take the next step.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: And even those steps don't have to be necessarily immediately sequential, right,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: I mean, dipping your feet in the cold punch every
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: day for a week, might you know, might be fine
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: for you. And then you're gonna find that dopamine hit
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: doesn't feel. So here's a great example. I don't I've
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: said it many times.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: I'll it again.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I don't like heights, okay, and so on every seal
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  Speaker 1: base there's an obstacle course West Coast at Bud's East Coast,
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  Speaker 1: and on every obstacle course there's a cargo net climb. Okay,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: the cargo net climb is a sixty five foot net
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: that goes straight up and you basically climb up one
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: side and you once you're at the top, you.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: Flip over and then you climb down. Okay. For people
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: who don't like heights, it's it's tough, right.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Well, when I was even when I was in the teams,
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: i'd usually go whenever i'd go for a run, you know,
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: i'd plan my run that i'd go buy that cargo net,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: and when I hit it, i'd climb to the top.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: And at the top, which is the worst part, right,
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: I would just sit there, and sitting there, I could
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: feel I basically was breathing in the fear. You know,
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: I would feel nervous, you know, I'd just sit there
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: and I'd feel the wind and the sway and all
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: that stuff, and then I go down and then and
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I'd do that over and over again. After a while,
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: you know, a week or maybe even two weeks. After
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: a while, when I got to the top, I wasn't
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: feel it. I feel awesome when I finished it. After
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: a while, I wasn't I wasn't scared anymore. It's called
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: it's it's basically innoculation. It's fear inoculation. But when you
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: inoculate yourself, you also lose the dopamine reward. Right, So
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: so if people are going to take these steps, they
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: have to take them in context with the size and
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: bite they want to take, and they have to recognize
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: take them until you're not getting that reward anymore. And
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: as soon as you don't get that reward or you
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: can need to up the anpty you know, and take
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: and take the next step, because you will inoculate yourself
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: after a period of time.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: This is courage. Let's go through the other ones.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Okay, perseverance, So perseverance again, perseverance is interesting. What I
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: recognize with perseverance is, in fact, is a combination of
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: three things. It's a combination of persistence, tenacity, and fortitude.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: And the reason why it's a combination of those things
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: is because persistence and tenacity people often think are synonymous,
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  Speaker 1: but they're not. Persistence is I'm going to basically do
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: something over and over again until I get a result. Okay,
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: that's the stone cutter approach.
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  Speaker 2: Right.
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  Speaker 1: The stonecutter taps the taps the stone in the same place,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: you know, you know eighty times ninety times never sees anything,
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: and I'm a hundredth.
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  Speaker 3: Tap it breaks. Right, that's persistence.
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  Speaker 1: Sometimes persistence is required, you have to just just to
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  Speaker 1: go a head down and do it. Tenacity is I'm
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: going to try something and if it doesn't work, I'm
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: going to try something else. I'm gonna change and try
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: something else. This is the car mechanic, right. The car
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: mechanic will check the belts first, I it's not the belts,
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: then they'll check the fuel injector or whatever. Right. You
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: don't want necessarily a persistent mechanic, right, because the persistent
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: mechanic is going to check the belts and then check
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: the belts again, and then check the belts again, check
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: the belt and you just get.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: A high bill.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Right. You don't necessarily want a tenacious stone cutter, okay,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: because the rock's never going to break. Okay, So you
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: have a balance between the two, and then you have fortitude.
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  Speaker 1: Fortitude is really just that fortitude is really my and
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: I guess definition of what mental tughness really is.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: Fortitude is the ability.
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  Speaker 1: To kind of understand and move through either persistence and
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: tenacity and make stuff happen. Right, So those two are
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: buttressed by fortitude. All that combined is perseverance. Perseverance is
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  Speaker 1: the ability to kind of move and step through, continue on.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: So that's perseverance, and then we get adaptability. Adaptability is
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: everything in this universe changes, okay, without exception. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: I don't think they found anything that doesn't change over
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: time in our physical world. I mean, we have to
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: recognize that the environment is going to change around us
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  Speaker 1: outside of our control, and it will be impossible and
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: futile to push against it. Right, sometimes we just have
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: to adapt. This is the dinosaur or the fraud, right.
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  Speaker 1: If you don't adapt, you go extinct. And so adaptation
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  Speaker 1: is something that we all need if we want to
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: have overall total grit. So you have adaptability, and then
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: finally at resilience, and resilience is absolutely necessary for grit
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: because because grit involves the ability to kind of keep
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: doing it, you know, that's true greatest keep doing if
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: you're not, if you're not, if you get hit, you
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: and you're done, right, that's not grit you know, grit
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  Speaker 1: involves the ability to kind of bounce back as well,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: And so resilience is that, hey, I get knocked off baseline,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: kind I bounce back to baseline either direction, right, because
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: because really, what what true grit and overall drive requires
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: is that we keep pushing through and not get sidelined
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: by the lows and the challenges, but also not get
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: seduced by the highs.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: You know, sometimes those those small wins, they're great in
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: terms of getting us a little bit more of a
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: of a biochemical boost, But but we can't rest on
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: our laurels. We can't stop there, you know. And so uh,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: and so resilience is about the ability to kind of
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: understand that elasticity of the process. And so those four
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: combined add up to overall grit. And again, grit speaks
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: to this kind of ability to move through these acute challenges.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: You know that it is I think the most important.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: If anybody wanted to kind of say, hey, I just
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: want to focus on four, those would be the four
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: to focus on.