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The Making of a leader: Silent growth Killers · Sandra Elizabeth - The Leadership Collective

• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: What if the biggest threat to your growth is something you can't see?
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Not failure, not competition, not a lack of opportunity, not even another person standing in your way?
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: What if that thing that's holding you back is actually something that has become so familiar and so comfortable and so normal that you don't even recognize it anymore?
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's the danger of silent growth killers.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: They don't arrive dramatically, they creep in quietly.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: It comes with a little complacency, a little bit of pride, or an offense you never dealt with.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's the need to be recognized, it's the inability to receive correction, or it is simply becoming so busy leading everyone else that you stop developing yourself.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what makes that actually dangerous.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: You can still look successful while you've stopped growing.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Your title can remain, your business can continue.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: People can still applaud you.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: You can still be invited to important rooms and meetings.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can still appear to be moving forward.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: But movement and growth are not always the same thing.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: So today I'm turning the mirror towards us as leaders.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not who do I know who needs to hear this?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: But it is what has quietly taken root in me that could be limiting the leader that I'm still capable of becoming.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that is because sometimes the greatest threat to your next level isn't the obstacle in front of you.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's the habit, the attitude, or the mindset within you that you've stopped questioning.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's where I want to begin today.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, becoming unteachable.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: The first silent growth killer is becoming unteachable.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us begin our leadership journey asking questions.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: How does this work?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Can you show me?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: What could I do better?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: What am I missing?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're curious, we're willing to learn.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Then something happens.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: We gain experience, we become successful, and speak and people start coming to us for answers.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And slowly, without realizing it, we can move forward from what can I learn to I already know.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Those three words can become incredibly dangerous for a leader because experience doesn't automatically produce growth.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: You can have 20 years of experience, or you can have one year of experience repeated 20 times.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: There's a difference.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the person who can teach you something isn't older than you.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: They may not have a title, they may not have your qualifications, they may not have your experience, they may even work for you.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: But secure leaders don't ask, is this person important enough to teach me?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: They ask, is there something here that I can learn?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: So never become so accomplished that curiosity disappears.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because the moment that you believe you've arrived may be the moment that you stopped moving.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Number two is comfort.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: The second silent growth killer is comfort.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: We often think that struggle is the enemy of growth, but struggle can actually force us to grow.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: When something isn't working, we look for solutions.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: When money is tight, we become creative.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: When the organization is struggling, suddenly we examine what's wrong.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: When we don't know something, we ask for help.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: But when things begin going well, and that's when another danger appears, it's called comfort.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: The system works, the business is doing well, people know your name, you've established your reputation, and slowly you stop stretching.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: You keep doing what you've always done because it's still producing results.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: But here's an important leadership question.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Is it working?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's not the same question as is this still the best way.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: See, something can still work while becoming outdated.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: A leader can still be successful while becoming stagnant.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: So don't wait for a crisis to force you to change.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Wisdom is having the courage to change while things are still going well.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, surrounding yourself with agreement.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Another silent growth killer is being surrounded by people who always agree with you.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: I call them the penguin club.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: You see, every idea that you have cannot be brilliant, every decision cannot be perfect, every opinion cannot be correct, and yet some leaders gradually create environments where nobody challenges them.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: People learn very quickly, don't question that, don't disagree, just say yes.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually the leader interprets silence as agreement.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: But silence doesn't always mean agreement.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes silence means people have learned that honesty isn't welcome.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Every leader needs people who can respectfully say, I think you may be wrong, or have you considered another possibility?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Or even say, I don't think you're seeing this clearly.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Those conversations aren't always comfortable, but growth isn't always comfortable.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Don't surround yourself only with people who make you feel good.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Don't build a circle that protects your ego.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Build a circle that protects your future.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, comparison.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Social media has made this easy.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: We see everybody else's success, their promotion, their business, their audience, their new opportunity, their book, their events, their announcements.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: And we're often comparing our everyday reality with somebody else's carefully selected highlight.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Comparison usually takes us in one of two directions.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: You can look at someone ahead of you and feel inadequate, or you can look at someone behind you and feel superior.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Neither one develops us.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: So change the measurement instead of asking, Am I doing better than them?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, am I becoming better than I was?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Am I wiser than I was a year ago?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Do I communicate better?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Do I manage conflict better?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Am I more disciplined?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Am I more emotionally mature?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or have I become a better listener?
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Those questions are much more useful questions to you.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Your responsibility isn't to become somebody else.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Your responsibility is to continue developing the person and leader that you are capable of becoming.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Number five, unresolved hurt.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: This one is rarely discussed enough.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Unresolved hurt can become a silent growth killer.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: See, you can continue leading while you hurt.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: You can attend meetings, you can manage people, you can stand on stage, you can smile, you can produce results, and you can still be carrying something you've never dealt with.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe someone betrayed you, so now you struggle to trust anyone.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Someone took advantage of your generosity, so now you've become guarded.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Someone publicly criticized you.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: So now you feel that every question is like an attack.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Someone may have disappointed you, so now you keep everybody at a distance.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually, something that happened to you begins influencing something on the inside of you.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: And the danger of that is that that yesterday's person begins affecting how you treat today's people.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Don't make new people pay for old people's mistakes.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes healing is leadership development because you don't want pain-making decisions on your behalf.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Number six, the need to be recognized.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Another silent growth killer is the constant need for recognition.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us appreciate being acknowledged.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with that, but there's a difference between appreciating recognition and needing recognition to remain motivated.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: You ask questions such as did they mention my name?
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Why wasn't I thanked?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Why did she get the opportunity?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Why wasn't I invited?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Why did somebody else get the credit?
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not careful, leadership starts becoming about visibility instead of value.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: And some of your greatest leadership work will happen when nobody applauds.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Developing someone privately, preparing when nobody is watching, helping someone who can do nothing for you, having a difficult conversation, fixing a problem without announcing that you fixed it, doing the right thing when nobody knows you did it.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Don't become so addicted to being seen that you stop valuing the work nobody sees.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the strongest leadership happens without an audience.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Number seven, staying in conversations you've outgrown.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: And this is another one.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the thing quietly limiting your growth isn't a lack of opportunity, it's the quality of the conversations surrounding you.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: What are the people closest to you talking about?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Do they talk about ideas, solutions, leadership, books, possibilities, business, growth purpose?
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Or is most of the conversation about other people?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Who did what?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Who said what?
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Who doesn't like whom?
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Who's having problems?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Who's earning what?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Who's failing?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Who's succeeding?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: See, you can spend hours talking and leave with absolutely nothing that develops you.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the important part.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: This doesn't necessarily mean that you need to cut people out of your life.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Not everybody needs to be removed.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes they simply need a different seat.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Some people can be wonderful friends without becoming advisors.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Some people can be family without being mentors.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Some people can belong in your life without belonging in your inner circle.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Your next level may require a different level of conversation.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Number eight, busyness.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is one of the most deceptive, silent growth killers.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Leaders are busy.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: They have emails, calls, meetings, problems, people, deadlines, planning, administration, emergencies, family.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: You can reach the end of a 12-hour day completely exhausted and think I accomplished so much today.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps you did.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: But here's another question.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: Did I grow today?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: You can spend an entire day doing things you already know how to do.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's productivity.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: But it isn't necessarily development.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: When was the last time you learned something completely new?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: When did you last read something that challenged your thinking?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: When did you sit quietly and think?
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: When did you ask somebody for feedback?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: When did you develop a new skill?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: When did you enter a room where you weren't the most knowledgeable person?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: When did you deliberately do something that stretched you?
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: There is a danger in becoming so busy working in your leadership that you stop working on your leadership.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: Your calendar needs room for development.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: You need to make time because for a leader, growth isn't an extra activity.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Growth is part of the job.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Continually ask yourself these questions.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: What is quietly killing my growth?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: What am I learning right now?
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Who can correct me?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Where have I become too comfortable?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I comparing myself with?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Am I carrying an old hurt into something new?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: How important has recognition become to me?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: What are my closest conversations producing?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Am I busy or am I growing?
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then the final question: what must change in the next 30 days if I am serious about growing again?
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to sit down and write 10 things.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Just choose one.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Choose one mentor, one boundary, one book, one new conversation, one hour a week of learning, one new habit, one skill to develop.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it begins with one honest decision.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: As I come to the end of this podcast, I want you to remember something.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: The most dangerous growth killers aren't always the ones everybody can see.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes they're hidden behind success, behind experience, behind a busy calendar, behind a title, behind your confidence, and behind years of doing things the same way.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why leadership requires more than just looking at what's happened around us.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Every now and again we have to be courageous enough to look within us.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Not who needs to change, but what needs to change in me.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Not who's holding me back, but what am I allowing to hold me back?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: And not simply how successful have I become.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: But am I still becoming?
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because success should never become permission to stop growing.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Experience should never become an excuse to stop listening.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Your title should never become bigger than your willingness to learn.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: So protect yourself, protect your curiosity, protect your ability to receive correction, protect the quality of the people and conversations around you.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: Learn to work without always needing applause.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: And no matter how busy life becomes, make room to keep developing the person who's carrying this leadership.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because one day you may discover that the biggest obstacle to your next level wasn't the closed door, it wasn't the competition, it wasn't the lack of opportunity.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: It was the part of you that stopped growing while everything around you kept moving forward.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for taking time out to listen to this podcast on Silent Growth Killers with me, Sandra.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: I encourage you today to keep learning, keep stretching, keep questioning, keep becoming.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because the day a leader decides there is nothing left to learn is often the day that that leader quietly begins to decline.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: Your greatest leadership achievement should never be that you arrived.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: It should be that you never stopped growing.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, have a blessed week ahead.