Latest / Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud / Between the Sheets and the Laughs 🤣

Transcript

Between the Sheets and the Laughs 🤣 · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: What is up, New York?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all look good, and I am so happy to be here.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: So glad to be here.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all should be happy I'm here too.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: I flew.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: We all know this ain't the best season to be flying, right?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like a hero.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: I flew during wartime.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care how I die, I want a hero's homecoming.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: If I slip and fall face first in a pile of dog doo-doo, I want my flag and meadows, okay?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's really scary to fly right now.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is not the best season, you know.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay in winter, it's okay in spring, it's okay in the fall, but old summertime just ain't a good time to be flying.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Personally, I have never cared for flying, but people always say to me, you know, girl, flying is the safest way to travel.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: What you nervous about as they purchase their train tickets?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: But this is my personal favorite.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can't control fate.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: When it's your time, you gotta go.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, yeah, well, what if it's the bitch sitting next to me's time?
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta leave because this helpers number is up.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, because it's not like I'ma jump up out the wreckage and go, ooh, damn, I'm sure glad it was her time.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Where's my luggage at y'all?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it's new, these words, I've never heard them.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if I'm just ignorant.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I did go to school a few days.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, I don't remember none of these words.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: I've never heard of Tora Bora.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: I never heard of Al-Qaeda, anthrax.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: What in the hell is Taliban?
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: My mama never said, girl, look on a chef and give me that Taliban.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Put a little anthrax on it, I got a headache.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's new stuff.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Being from Chicago to West Side and knowing my homegirls the way I do, I can guarantee you one thing.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Some sister that I know gonna name her baby Taliban.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know it's gonna happen.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know one day you're gonna be at the family reunion because she's gonna be a relative.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: And you're gonna be like, ooh, Riri, that baby's so cute.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: What's his name?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Taliban.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: We just call him Ben Ben.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't wanna dwell on the war because it's such a, you know, it's such a tough, touchy subject right now.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: I just, but before I stop talking about it, I do have a legitimate question.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: One legitimate question that I've been asking everybody, nobody has the answer.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: What the hell happened to the emergency broadcast system on September 11th?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: We've been practicing with that bastard all our lives, haven't we?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: You let him interrupt all your program, and you said, okay, what the hell?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: What's the odds?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: I probably won't need his ass, but I'm gonna listen to the plan anyway.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: You can recite it.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: This is a test of the emergency broadcast system.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is only a test.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: For the next 60 seconds, this station will conduct a test.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Then he violated your ass with all these noises, and you listened.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't even leave for a sandwich or nothing.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because you didn't know you might need the information one day.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know about y'all ass, but I think 911 was that damn day.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And you didn't hear from him.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, wait a minute, it's the same guy.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Even after the commercial, after the test, you listen.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: He told you this has been a test of the emergency broadcaster.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Had this been an actual emergency, we would have informed you where to go in your area.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm looking for you, Ted, or whatever your damn name is.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I say, bring his ass up on charges, find out his side of the story.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Where the hell were you on September 11th?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: I know he's gonna try to lie and pretend that he did ring that bell.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: He's gonna say, in all the excitement and the chaos, y'all didn't hear me.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't pay no attention.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I got tape.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Some of y'all got tape.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: You just one thing you heard was a you heard a lot of background noises when that second plane hit, didn't you?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: But you did not hear.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: This is the emergency broadcast system bastard.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Run.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is the day we've been practicing for get your sh and get out of here.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: I look okay.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Look like I'm loving.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Those are my lovely parents, Nellie and Lewis Givens.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all give it up to God for letting them both spend the night off here, because they both full-time employees of the Lord right now.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: So y'all give it up.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: God let them come and watch their daughter do her thing.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: I want to share a little information with the ladies because a couple of them complimented me on my outfit today.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to say it's not designer.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't do the designer thing.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't do that.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Too much money for just somebody's name and my label.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: It just don't feel right to me.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: I think I got a thing they call common sense, and you know, it's kind of contagious, so I figured tonight I'll just explain a couple things that like this, you know, people talking about bling bling.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: See, this$23.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Bling bling like a mug, ain't it?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: But don't hug me, I'll snag your mama with this bad boy, I'm telling you.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I look good, and that's what's important.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like to buy design of clothes because the sales girls act too snotty, don't they, ladies?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Don't when you go in those stores, these bitches act like they better than you.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm the wrong one to act like that with.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Many, many times I've informed them what their damn job was.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I go in there and she's looking at me all snotty, and I explain to her, hey, you sell stuff.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's your job to price stuff for me, all right?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: I know I ain't buying nothing.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And you know I ain't buying nothing.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: But I wanna know how much the s I ain't buying cost, man.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And ladies, this gotta be the worst designer purse.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: What kind of crap is that?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's a bag.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's all it use your common sense.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's the bag.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: And you wouldn't even have it if you didn't have to carry things out of the house that was necessary to take out when you leave.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Am I right?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: They tell you the purse is$700.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: What you got in there?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: A cell phone, some keys, depending on which club you're going to, some liquor.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that says a whole lot about you.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: You got a$700 person, you're gonna sneak a half pint into the club, innit?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: You a smart sister.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's epidemic, this designer thing, because now men are into designer clothes.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Men didn't even used to care about how they look and dress.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: But now, from the west side of Chicago, where I'm from, a lot of guys wear alligator shoes.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Which I have no problem with.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't until I priced some of these shoes.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: I priced a pair of alligator shoes at$2,000.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's a thousand dollars a foot.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: $200 a toe, add it up.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you're missing a toe or two, subtract where necessary.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: But I didn't think it was fair because I know some of these brothers and I know their children, and it just ain't fair.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Your kids look thirsty and you're walking around with alligators,$2,000 shoes, it ain't fair.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't do it because I got rules for my money.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: I would not buy a pair of$2,000 shoes.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: I can't, I tell you what, my rule is if I got on a pair of$2,000 shoes, I better not step in no dog doodle.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm wearing some$2,000 shoes and I'm walking towards some dog doodle, those shoes better turn my ass around.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And take me in another damn direction.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I found out since I've been in entertainment, the more money you make, the more they waste.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's right, because my friends love Rolex watches.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, they love them.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even know what a Rolex was.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: I come from the west side of Chicago, pole broke.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: I know what time it is.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Time to eat.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm hungry.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying not to think about the time.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: We broke around here.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: My friend comes showing me his watch.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Look at his watch.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Oh, that's so cute.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: He said, cute.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: What you mean cute?
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know how much this damn watch costs?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, no, I can't say as I do.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: He said,$16,000.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: I said, you've been sipping on some scissors?
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: What the hell made you pay$16,000 for a watch?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: And you you know he tried to justify this purchase.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: He started telling me, see, this is a Rolex.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Look at the second hand.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: See, the second hand on a Rolex, it glide.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: But the second hand on a regular watch, it jerk.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: I said, that's all you got?
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: $16,000, and all you can tell me is the second hand glide.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you know that for$16,000, the second hand oughta act like a damn second hand?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: For$16,000, that hand oughta jump off the watch and give you high five when your team makes the damn basket.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: 16.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: For$16,000, if your woman mad at you and you think it's gonna be a hard night, that second hand should jump off, grab the lotion, and tell you you're gonna be alright tonight for$16,000.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I ended up calling him an ignorant bastard, and we got into it.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: He said, How come a brother gotta be an ignorant bastard every time he tried to look good?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: I said, No, you're misunderstanding.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not calling you ignorant because you like to look good.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: You said you paid$16,000 for that watch.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Stand your ignorant ass right here and watch me.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Excuse me, brother, can you tell me what time you have?
• 11:28
  unknown: 1035.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: 1035 didn't cost me a damn nickel.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: That would be why you are ignorant bastard.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Nowadays, you can't let your kids watch TV.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know what's happening.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: A breast might pop out, somebody might lick somebody.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, hey, y'all turn off that damn Disney channel.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Up in here.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I see the problem with the kids.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, back in the day they used to say it takes a village to raise a child.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Nowadays, apparently, it takes a talk show.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's the problem.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: If I see one more topic like help, my teen is out of control, I'm gonna shake the hell out of somebody.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Why in the hell are you on a talk show because your teen is out of control?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna front up here.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have a lot of money, so if I got an opportunity to get a free vacation, go to New York or LA, you know, free ticket, and all I gotta do is get on TV and, you know, talk about my issues, I would do it.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: But you can believe the topics of the talk shows would not be helped.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: My teen is out of control if it was me.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: No, I think they'd be like, help! My teen is embedded in the concrete and I can't get his ass back out.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Or help.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: I just knock my teen's teeth out and we don't have a dental plan.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: I was looking at a talk show.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: This is true.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: A 13-year-old boy was on there with his mama talking about how he wouldn't wear nothing but this one designer clothing.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about, he had it on from head to toe.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Watch, draw, shoes, this one, I won't name this designer, but he had all of this stuff on, and his mama was sitting up there crying to the talk show hold.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody told him there's other children in the home, and I'm trying to work two jobs, and it's very challenging.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, You've been sipping on scissorb, ain't you, boot?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because why?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, lady, anybody here with a child, you you ain't gonna wear nothing, but this boy had it on.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: He's 13 years old, he ain't got no job, she must have bought it.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: So why are you on TV crying?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: I wish that was me.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: I would say, baby, we're going on vacation.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's right, I got two little boys, ages six and eight.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: And they could very well grow up and say they're not wearing nothing but design of clothes.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's like, okay, cool, we're gonna get a vacation.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: We going to a talk show.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd be sitting on TV happy because I'm on vacation with the talk show host who probably have on a designer outfit of her own, and I'd be sitting up there with a regular outfit of mine on, and my 13-year-old son be sitting on national TV buck naked.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Cause don't we sacrifice everything for our kids, ladies?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: When your kids come into your home, life as you knew it changed.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: You can't even have sex anytime you want it to no more, can you?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Girl, I used to go in my kitchen and get a sex sandwich anytime I felt like it.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: These little bastards done putting me on a diet and I ain't having it.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because every time you get ready, it's like, wait a minute.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: I think I hear the pitter patter.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because the last thing you want, am I right, ladies, is for your baby to catch mama's ass tossed up like a Caesar salad.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know you're about to damage their little asses, don't you?
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: But your man don't care, do he?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: He be like, come on, they sleep.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Well, they drinking water and their eyes are open.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Do they always sleep like this?
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, we all got some dysfunction in our family.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times you don't want to talk about it because it frustrates you, but we all come from some dysfunctional background in one fashion or another.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I found out that you can't always approach your relatives with whatever it is they frustrated you with.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because you screw up a relationship.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, sometimes you just want to say something that you know gonna mess up your relationship for life with this person.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why I find poetry to be a great outlet.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: I love Russell Simmons' death poetry, Jack.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: I do.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: I love it, I love it.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: Poetry used to have this image of being so nice and so serene, but this is a great way to let your frustrations out.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: Tell your family members of choice that they inspired you and just talk about the ass in a poem.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do a little piece for y'all right now.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: I like to call this one.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: It ain't that damn cute, Reiri.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: I ain't no relative named Reiri, but it don't matter what her name is.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody got this relative.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Could be Shaquanda, Sally, Mary, whatever.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: She Rei.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: You'll know when I finish doing this.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Peace.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Ain't it funny how people act funny when they owe you money?
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: What's up with that?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's funny how they get mad when you ask for your cash.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Has something like this ever happened to you?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, what's up, dog?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: Ain't your bill overdue?
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I be damn, I'm gonna pay you.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: Can I finish doing what I gotta do?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'll let you know when I get due.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: You act like I'ma leave town with them few dollars.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'll holler when I get my check.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll step your ass back and let me place my back.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Damn.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: What's up with that?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like they got another personality.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: And when they need a loan, that's the one that you see.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: The person that's humble and nice and sweet.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: They act real helpful and normal and friendly, but see, that's before they say, can I or lend me.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's not a loan, just a con or a play, trying to see what they can get out of you that day.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's funny how they can manufacture sorrow, bringing it to you and asking you to borrow, promising to pay you back tomorrow, knowing all the time that they just lying and you pissed because they keep buying brand new sh while they keep crying, broke to you, provoking you to choke and fantasize to smoke this mother.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: What's up with that?
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's funny how that just makes you think of all the other ignorant ways and the nights and days trying to be John Blaze, they left you at home with their children to raise at your discretion, and you didn't judge them, you just respect them.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: Teach the children and never neglect them.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Always protect them and try to direct them because they had been ill-affected, neglected, misdirected, and disrespected from lessons they learned from some fool you had them around.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: But those kids were surprised, happy, and excited when they found out that not everybody is all that impressed with which one of them could just dance the best.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, they gave me much respect because I gave the little bastards a spelling test.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, they passed.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: No thanks to your ass.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: It ain't no doubt about it.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: The children are intelligent.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: The fact that you're an ignorant mother is irrelevant.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's evident to me that your dumb ass don't even know that you could be raising a CEO or the president of his own corporation.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: All a child needs is a strong education and somebody he can have a supportive relationship with.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Dip sh.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: So get with the program, Broham.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: I sure am glad to know the bull you pulled on me wasn't personal and that you try to beat out everybody you know.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: You spent your whole check on your hair and it's curly like a poodle, but your kids ain't got nothing to eat but ten cents ramen noodles.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Don't pucker up your lips like you got something to say, because I feel just like Jill and you're getting in my way.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: You got that little money.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: I ain't gonna even be stressed.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I appreciate you letting me get all this off my chest.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: Cause I know how rough it is when your life is a mess.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: See, no matter how hard you try, you just can't do your best.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: What you need to do is get on your knees and confess.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I'm gonna pray every day that you and you are stay blessed.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I sincerely hope the next time I come around, you and your kids are kicking it about adjective verbs and nouns, and not trying to back that thing up, but trying to write that thing down, cuz it ain't that damn cute, Riri.