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Dave Rossi – Alphas Die Early · Vox Novus with Victor Fuhrman

0:05
Speaker 1: Vox Novus, the new voice. Vox Novus, the new dimension.
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Speaker 1: Vox Novus, thought and movement leaders who will share from
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Speaker 1: their experience and offer tools to help us navigate our
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Speaker 1: rapidly changing world. My name is Victor Furman. Welcome to
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Speaker 1: Vox Novus, the new voice. Dave Rossi, a Silicon Valley
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Speaker 1: entrepreneur and luxury construction CEO, built multi-million dollar companies before
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Speaker 1: realizing his success was slowly killing him. He discovered that
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Speaker 1: the same traits that built his empire, drive, dominance, control,
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Speaker 1: were destroying his health, happiness, and humanity. Rossi issues a
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Speaker 1: challenge to modern men, evolved. He introduces the Omega Man,
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Speaker 1: a new archetype of strength defined not by aggression, but
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Speaker 1: by awareness. Not by competition, but by consciousness. Through his
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Speaker 1: story and his leadership framework, Rossi is helping high achievers, executives,
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Speaker 1: and entrepreneurs build success that doesn't cost their soul. His
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Speaker 1: website is DaveRossiGlobal.com, and he joins me on Vox Novus
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Speaker 1: this week to share his path and book, Alphas Die Early.
1:41
Speaker 1: Please join me in welcoming Dave Rossi.
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Speaker 2: Welcome, Dave. Good morning. Thank you so much.
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Speaker 1: Dave, please share with us your early path and initial
1:51
Speaker 1: understanding of business culture and success.
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Speaker 2: Oh, wow. I'm going to have to go way back
1:59
Speaker 2: and pull it out of the archives. You know, I
2:02
Speaker 2: think my vision of success is kind of knowing what
2:05
Speaker 2: I know now and piecing together what I thought it
2:08
Speaker 2: was back then was about money. It was about accolades.
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Speaker 2: It was social status. It was titles. It was where
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Speaker 2: I fit into the world around me and the other
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Speaker 2: businessmen around me. And that was, it was a pretty
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Speaker 2: myopic view, but that was it.
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Speaker 1: And what was your masculine view at that point?
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Speaker 2: Well, to be a man, I think you had to
2:34
Speaker 2: be successful. And rarely did anyone talk about happiness in
2:39
Speaker 2: terms of masculinity or vulnerability. But pretty much to be
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Speaker 2: a man was you didn't cry. You were driven. You
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Speaker 2: were successful. And again, the definition of success was never
2:50
Speaker 2: given or shared. It was just observed by other men
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Speaker 2: who I would watch, my father and his colleagues and
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Speaker 2: his partners, other men around me. And so my view
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Speaker 2: of masculinity was that.
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Speaker 1: And how and when did that model change for you?
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Speaker 2: Well, you know, I think it's changed over time. You know,
3:14
Speaker 2: my view of success changed immediately when I had a crash.
3:16
Speaker 2: I decided to leave a very long-term marriage, and my
3:21
Speaker 2: wife at the time was my partner. And I decided
3:25
Speaker 2: that I finally figured out of the 17 years I
3:27
Speaker 2: was married, I think I was unhappy 16 and a
3:30
Speaker 2: half of those 17 years. And so leaving that marriage
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Speaker 2: was not just leaving a partner. It was leaving my business.
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Speaker 2: It was sharing my kids 50% of the time. It
3:41
Speaker 2: was potentially losing my house and then dividing these assets up.
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Speaker 2: So it was a pretty big decision to.
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Speaker 3: Leave.
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Speaker 2: And I realized that the first thing I learned about changing,
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Speaker 2: about success was about happiness. And so I wrote a
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Speaker 2: book after losing my house and avoiding back surgery from
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Speaker 2: an injury and losing my parents essentially in this marriage,
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Speaker 2: that my view of success changed dramatically through that process.
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Speaker 2: And I realized that having a house wasn't success, being
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Speaker 2: happy was. And then as I began to finish that
4:13
Speaker 2: book and then speak about it in 2019, when I
4:16
Speaker 2: published it, I've evolved to realize that a lot of
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Speaker 2: the choices I made were to be a man, were
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Speaker 2: to be masculine, and that my gender and sexuality A
4:26
Speaker 2: Darwinian drive to be the 800-pound gorilla or the survival
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Speaker 2: of the fittest became my drive as well as success.
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Speaker 2: And so I don't think I could parse which pushed
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Speaker 2: me more to be successful or to be kind of that,
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Speaker 2: you know, quote, alpha male.
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Speaker 1: And that book was entitled The Imperative Habit. What did
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Speaker 1: you share with your readers in there?
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Speaker 2: Well, I learned... essentially what it meant to be happy
4:52
Speaker 2: or how to be happy. And I think that the
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Speaker 2: biggest nexus is that happiness is not something that you
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Speaker 2: can pursue. It's not something you can gain through material
5:01
Speaker 2: things or external events or people. That there is happiness
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Speaker 2: as an emotion that these external things can bring you.
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Speaker 2: But those external things end and then the emotions of
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Speaker 2: happiness fade with it. And there's something deeper inside of
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Speaker 2: you which is basically happiness as an inner state of being.
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Speaker 2: And as you remove the things that make you unhappy inside,
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Speaker 2: like the drive to be successful or the drive to
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Speaker 2: be a real man or the drive to have all
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Speaker 2: of these joys, as you remove jealousy and anger and
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Speaker 2: fear and doubt and self-esteem and worries, you remove these things.
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Speaker 2: What's really left is that inner happiness. And so in
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Speaker 2: that book, I really... offered seven non-spiritual practices towards what
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Speaker 2: I call spiritual behavior or behaviors towards finding inner happiness.
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Speaker 1: And what were those processes that you outlined in the book?
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Speaker 2: Well, there are seven, you know, simple things like don't
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Speaker 2: fear the outcome. You know, a lot of us make
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Speaker 2: decisions because we want to avoid the outcome. In fact,
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Speaker 2: the way I would explain it is that fear is
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Speaker 2: afraid of fear. And so when we're afraid of an outcome,
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Speaker 2: we tend to say, well, this outcome could be potentially
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Speaker 2: not pleasant. So I'm afraid to even try. And so
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Speaker 2: that's fear of the outcome. Little white lies are fear
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Speaker 2: of the outcome. Instead of, you know, being late to
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Speaker 2: an event and instead of, you know, a little white
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Speaker 2: lie and say, oh, I had to get gas from
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Speaker 2: my car. Be honest, I was late, you know, and
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Speaker 2: those little white lies that the mechanism behind it is
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Speaker 2: fear of how someone might view you. You know, second
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Speaker 2: one is accepting sure what they are, except I was late,
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Speaker 2: except it happened, except that, I got a flat tire,
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Speaker 2: except that somebody might be angry with me. Focus on happiness.
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Speaker 2: That's number three. People don't always realize how important happiness is.
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Speaker 2: And again, I mean happiness as an inner state of joy.
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Speaker 2: And when you focus on happiness, you're essentially focusing on
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Speaker 2: removing things like stress and fear and doubt and worry.
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Speaker 2: The other ones are things like being present, respond with
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Speaker 2: love and compassion, and have faith. Absolutely.
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Speaker 4: Absolutely.
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Speaker 1: What inspired you to write the next book, Alpha's Die Early,
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Speaker 1: and what does the title really mean?
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Speaker 2: Well, I think Alpha's Die Early is really the missing
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Speaker 2: pieces of the imperative habit. I grew a lot more
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Speaker 2: from 2019 until 2025 when I started writing Alpha's Die Early,
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Speaker 2: and I realized that a lot of unhappiness was being
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Speaker 2: driven by basically Darwinian biology. And understanding my spiritual path
7:49
Speaker 2: is something so much bigger than, than the matter that
7:52
Speaker 2: comprises my, my human suit, so to speak. And I,
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Speaker 2: I have two boys. I have a daughter as well,
8:01
Speaker 2: but I have two boys. And I saw a lot
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Speaker 2: of the statistics about how young men are just failing and,
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Speaker 2: and on a downward trend. And you look at shootings
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Speaker 2: at schools and they're men and you look at assassination
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Speaker 2: attempts and they're men and you look at, you know,
8:19
Speaker 2: who starts wars and through history were a lot of
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Speaker 2: violence and, um, saddened, saddening events catalyzed from men. And
8:28
Speaker 2: so I wanted to help young men thinking of my
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Speaker 2: boys and I realized, and so the clash of realizing
8:33
Speaker 2: that gender drove a lot of my choices and, um,
8:38
Speaker 2: that I didn't talk about that on my first book.
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Speaker 2: That's kind of how I, how I, this came to be.
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Speaker 2: And Alpha Psi really is really kind of, kind of
8:45
Speaker 2: means lots of things. It means that number one, you know,
8:49
Speaker 2: there is a trend where men are, you know, four
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Speaker 2: times more likely to commit suicide than women. And so
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Speaker 2: there is some statistics about how men are doing poorly
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Speaker 2: on thriving and living longer. But also, I talk about
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Speaker 2: the Omega man, or the Omega path. And we all
9:06
Speaker 2: tend to like archetypes, and we like to use Greek numbers.
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Speaker 2: And so I use the Omega, and the Omega is
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Speaker 2: the last. And so the Alpha is an archetype that
9:14
Speaker 2: defines masculinity in cultural terms, albeit The term changes culture
9:19
Speaker 2: to culture or region to region or even month to month.
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Speaker 2: But the omega is really what I want to help
9:25
Speaker 2: people understand what it is to be an omega. And
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Speaker 2: it's the last mask. And so the alpha is a mask.
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Speaker 2: People try to be an alpha and they try to pretend.
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Speaker 2: And I profess that the mere perception of strength isn't strength.
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Speaker 2: And so alphas die early is that the mask always dies.
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Speaker 2: And we always tend to put on new masks and
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Speaker 2: new versions of ourselves to be masculine or to be
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Speaker 2: a real man.
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Speaker 1: You offer some truly troubling statistics in your sharing of
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Speaker 1: key data on masculinity and societal impacts. For example, mental health.
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Speaker 1: You want to talk about that?
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Speaker 2: Well, I think there's lots of things happening with men.
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Speaker 2: I am, you know, writing the book and doing some research,
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Speaker 2: I came across a lot of statistics that men who
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Speaker 2: hold on to the ideals of masculinity are the least
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Speaker 2: likely to become actually masculine. They're the least likely to
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Speaker 2: seek help. They're the least likely to actually thrive and
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Speaker 2: find success in their lives. They don't find help. And
10:27
Speaker 2: so these statistics really show a grim picture for men.
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Speaker 2: You know, something like some large percentage, I don't remember
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Speaker 2: the exact number, like 65% of men believe that their
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Speaker 2: material wealth defines them or defines their worth. And yet,
10:42
Speaker 2: something like 80% of men, especially in the younger generations,
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Speaker 2: can't express their their emotions because they feel its weakness.
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Speaker 2: So if you don't have material success, you're not legitimately
10:54
Speaker 2: able to talk about it because it's too scary. And
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Speaker 2: that is certainly a hamster wheel that has pretty much
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Speaker 2: nowhere to go, but down. And so I read the
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Speaker 2: statistics and I really wanted to expose them and, and
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Speaker 2: they're not, they're not, they're numbers, but they're real, they're
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Speaker 2: real statistics. And it doesn't mean it defines everybody, but
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Speaker 2: it's certainly categorizing a lot of men in this, in this,
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Speaker 2: in this generation who are suffering. Yeah.
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Speaker 1: You talk about mental health. You say the survey showed
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Speaker 1: that 37% of boys and young men aged 14 to
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Speaker 1: 21 were experiencing some mental health difficulties. And of these
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Speaker 1: 51% had not spoken to anyone.
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Speaker 2: About their struggles.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: Staggering, isn't it?
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Speaker 1: That's staggering. And, and the idea that they wouldn't come
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Speaker 1: forward and either seek help or talk about it is again, the,
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Speaker 1: tied to that masculine image that they're trying to project.
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Speaker 2: And you know, it's getting worse. I mean, like 13%
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Speaker 2: of men in the boomer generation felt that their wives
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Speaker 2: need to obey them 100% of the time. The current
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Speaker 2: generation believes that 30% of women need to believe and
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Speaker 2: listen to them and take their directions 100% of the times.
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Speaker 2: So you're seeing a deeper connection to patriarchy and a
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Speaker 2: greater fear for men have an autonomy and yet their,
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Speaker 2: their autonomy, their drives for autonomy are not driven by
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Speaker 2: anything substantial or sustainable. It's kind of finding each other and, and,
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Speaker 2: and banding together and trying to strengthen a patriarchal view,
12:28
Speaker 2: which is also kind of an illusion in a way. It's,
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Speaker 2: it's yeah, it's very disturbing the direction men are going in.
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Speaker 2: And that was a big motivator to write the book
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Speaker 2: as well. Cause I just saw these trends and you'd
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Speaker 2: see the loneliness epidemic in men. And I'd see my
12:40
Speaker 2: own boys, act and feel lonely and help them get
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Speaker 2: out of this. So yeah, that's a big motivation for me.
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Speaker 1: And some of the other things you had covered were
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Speaker 1: avoidance of help, substance abuse, premature mortality. You say in
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Speaker 1: the Americas, one in five men will not reach the
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Speaker 1: age of 50.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, what's most staggering though, is that in
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Speaker 2: all these statistics, media, social media, news, Most major outlets,
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Speaker 2: they're supporting this view of masculinity. You know, I saw
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Speaker 2: a cereal brand called Balls Cereal because it has creatine.
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Speaker 2: It says have some balls and be a man, buy
13:24
Speaker 2: the cereal. The political environment, you know, a lot of
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Speaker 2: the political rhetoric is that one party owns masculinity. And
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Speaker 2: the other one is, is, you know, a blue haired,
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Speaker 2: you know, um, beta. And so even in politics, these, these, um,
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Speaker 2: statistics are not helped by so many other outlets and
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Speaker 2: to make it more and more confusing for young men
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Speaker 2: to navigate.
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Speaker 1: And you share aggression and violence, that toxic masculinity is
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Speaker 1: a link to increased aggression and the perpetuation of sexism, homophobia,
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Speaker 1: and other forms of discrimination. And these behaviors harm interpersonal
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Speaker 1: relationships and contribute to societal issues such as domestic violence
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Speaker 1: and gender inequality.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think there's, you know, the first segment
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Speaker 2: of my book is the problem. And I think there's
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Speaker 2: three or four chapters about in part one of Alphastar
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Speaker 2: Early that really goes over all these statistics, where they
14:23
Speaker 2: came from, where they're derived, who did them, and also
14:26
Speaker 2: how they intersect and how they're woven into a young
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Speaker 2: man's life. Absolutely.
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Speaker 1: And the one that really struck out for me was
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Speaker 1: workplace safety. Men are more likely to engage in dangerous
14:37
Speaker 1: occupations and are less likely to seek help for health issues.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. And I can't lie. I was one of those men.
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Speaker 2: I was in construction. I engaged in risky behaviors trying
14:49
Speaker 2: to be a real man. I did a lot of
14:50
Speaker 2: things to promote myself as a masculine man. These statistics
14:56
Speaker 2: rang true for me. In fact, a lot of people
14:57
Speaker 2: that would read Alpha's Diary early would say things like, um,
15:02
Speaker 2: I felt like you were speaking to me. The, these
15:06
Speaker 2: stories that I would talk about myself, like just now sharing. Yeah.
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Speaker 2: I remember doing risky things, um, as a man. And
15:12
Speaker 2: I remember, and I can connect to the reasons why,
15:15
Speaker 2: and they were to be a man and to have
15:17
Speaker 2: other men look at me and, and in a positive light.
15:20
Speaker 2: And so other men that have taken the dive to
15:22
Speaker 2: really be vulnerable, they would say that some of these
15:25
Speaker 2: stories and some of these, um, connections rang true to
15:29
Speaker 2: them as well.
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Speaker 1: I remember hearing the expression, real men don't do.
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Speaker 2: That, right? Right. Well, I even referenced real men don't
15:38
Speaker 2: eat quiche, you know?
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Speaker 1: You talk about evolving from alpha to omega. What does
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Speaker 1: that shift look like for high-achieving men?
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Speaker 2: Well, I think to start, I think there's a path,
15:52
Speaker 2: and if anyone's on a spiritual path, and I use
15:54
Speaker 2: spirituality a bit like exercise. If you're running... and your
15:58
Speaker 2: legs get tired, and your lungs are pushing air, and
16:01
Speaker 2: your cheeks are flush, and there's all this feedback. Your
16:05
Speaker 2: brain is getting information from all these sources. Your legs
16:07
Speaker 2: are tired. You should stop. There's lactic acid. You're getting sore.
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Speaker 2: And all this information is biological information for your brain
16:13
Speaker 2: to process, and your brain says you should stop doing this. Well,
16:17
Speaker 2: a part of you jumps in and says, wait a minute,
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Speaker 2: we get better if we push through this. And to me,
16:23
Speaker 2: that override of biology is a spiritual act. And so...
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Speaker 2: The first thing I think men need to do is
16:28
Speaker 2: realize they're on a journey to keep implementing that exercise
16:33
Speaker 2: scenario of making choices over biology into things like jealousy
16:38
Speaker 2: and fear and stress and loneliness. And so the first
16:43
Speaker 2: things I think we need to do to evolve from
16:45
Speaker 2: that alpha or real man mindset to an omega is
16:50
Speaker 2: be vulnerable. And in the book, I talk about five
16:52
Speaker 2: basics Being vulnerable and being aware are two of the five.
16:56
Speaker 2: And those are really key things for any high performing
16:59
Speaker 2: man to start jumping into is that we view vulnerability
17:03
Speaker 2: as a weakness. And yet it's one of the strongest
17:06
Speaker 2: things you can do to share how vulnerable you are,
17:09
Speaker 2: to expose a weakness and ask for help is one
17:12
Speaker 2: of the strongest things a man can do. But you
17:14
Speaker 2: need awareness to realize that no one's asking you to
17:17
Speaker 2: walk around crying and talking to the mailman about your problems.
17:23
Speaker 2: it's having the awareness to decide and understand and filter
17:28
Speaker 2: what emotions inside of you need to be shared, when
17:32
Speaker 2: they need to be shared and who they need to
17:34
Speaker 2: be shared with and for what reasons. And I think
17:36
Speaker 2: awareness is a big piece of that. I think that's
17:38
Speaker 2: where high performance men really need to start.
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Speaker 1: You talk about evolving from the alpha to omega. What
17:44
Speaker 1: does that shift look like for high achieving men?
17:48
Speaker 2: Well, I think the first thing is that you see
17:49
Speaker 2: a calmer, more confident, not confident in a way that's,
17:54
Speaker 2: that the motivation is driven by performance, but the confidence
17:59
Speaker 2: is driven by an inner confidence and an inner safety
18:02
Speaker 2: and an inner contentment. And I think that shift to
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Speaker 2: the Omega is a lack of competition. And yet, you know,
18:10
Speaker 2: there's kind of a paradox in being successful without having
18:14
Speaker 2: to compete. And it's kind of like leading from behind
18:18
Speaker 2: and building teams where you're not the face man and
18:21
Speaker 2: you're not the one performing and yet you're the one
18:24
Speaker 2: involved in the success of your organization or where you
18:27
Speaker 2: are in your own life. Ultimately, to me, it's self-mastery.
18:31
Speaker 2: To evolve from an alpha to an omega is to
18:34
Speaker 2: master your emotions and to be sovereign. And that doesn't
18:37
Speaker 2: mean not having them and doesn't mean repressing them and
18:40
Speaker 2: it doesn't mean suppressing them. It means accepting them, understanding them,
18:44
Speaker 2: processing them And then walking the path of life that
18:48
Speaker 2: isn't based on what others think of you. And your
18:51
Speaker 2: motivation isn't to portray an image or to feed the image.
18:56
Speaker 2: It's to follow a path of more intrinsic values, spiritual values,
19:00
Speaker 2: like kindness and giving and growth and happiness. These are
19:04
Speaker 2: all really important traits, even happiness. People confuse happiness with hedonism.
19:08
Speaker 2: And yet Maharaj and Mahesh would define happiness as an
19:12
Speaker 2: expansion of intelligence, an expansion and growth of your of
19:15
Speaker 2: your personal psyche. And so that is how the transition shifts.
19:19
Speaker 2: It's from I to we.
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Speaker 1: And there's an example that you give actually from ancient culture.
19:26
Speaker 1: You talk about Ulysses or Odysseus from the Odyssey.
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Speaker 2: Tell us about that. Well, I think, you know, as
19:33
Speaker 2: I researched this book, I found so many examples that
19:35
Speaker 2: were similar. And I just love it because, you know,
19:39
Speaker 2: what I share in this book is is everywhere. I
19:43
Speaker 2: didn't create this. These are things that I learned through experiences,
19:47
Speaker 2: but mostly I connected my experiences with other people who
19:51
Speaker 2: were talking about it and Homer's poem, the Odyssey. I
19:55
Speaker 2: don't think there's any better example of the Omega than Odysseus.
19:59
Speaker 2: He starts out this brash warrior. He starts out, you know,
20:03
Speaker 2: wanted to conquer and be a King. And he has
20:06
Speaker 2: this call to duty, um, from Agamemnon to, to fight, um,
20:11
Speaker 2: and Troy. And, you know, and on his way home,
20:14
Speaker 2: he basically becomes, he's still cocky. He basically comes up
20:17
Speaker 2: with the idea of the Trojan horse and he really
20:20
Speaker 2: becomes this egomaniac in a way. And when he reaches
20:23
Speaker 2: a Cyclops, he doesn't need to say his name and
20:26
Speaker 2: he says his name. I'm, I'm Odysseus. And that's when
20:29
Speaker 2: Poseidon gets mad at him and gives him all of
20:31
Speaker 2: these trials. Now, I think that each of these trials
20:34
Speaker 2: that Odysseus goes through getting home is some emotional challenge
20:39
Speaker 2: that we all have. They're not necessarily Scylla and Charybdis
20:42
Speaker 2: and it's not necessarily Calypso. I mean, Calypso is a
20:46
Speaker 2: great example. He was given the opportunity for immortality with
20:50
Speaker 2: a beautiful woman on a beautiful beach. And yet we've
20:54
Speaker 2: all been to vacation and spent time in beautiful islands
20:57
Speaker 2: with food and beautiful architecture. And we always want to
21:00
Speaker 2: go home. And there's a drive deep inside of us
21:03
Speaker 2: that always wants to connect to something deeper than these
21:06
Speaker 2: hedonistic aspects. And so each one of these challenges that
21:10
Speaker 2: Odysseus has to go through, I think they're all mental
21:14
Speaker 2: and emotional challenges we all go through. And this is
21:17
Speaker 2: written 3,000 years ago, or a collection of stories. And
21:21
Speaker 2: these are not new. And Nietzsche's Übermensch, which is his Superman,
21:26
Speaker 2: follows the same trajectory. And Joseph Campbell is an amazing historian,
21:31
Speaker 2: talks about other similar mythology and different cultures with the
21:35
Speaker 2: same theme, the hero's journey. And so I started looping
21:38
Speaker 2: together the Odysseus and the hero's journey and the Ubermensch.
21:42
Speaker 2: And I realized that it was very similar to my
21:45
Speaker 2: Omega path, which again was built from, you know, Jung
21:49
Speaker 2: and Hawkins and so many other philosophers and thinkers that
21:55
Speaker 2: it really gave me a lot of joy that they're all,
21:57
Speaker 2: they're the same story.
21:59
Speaker 1: Absolutely. My guest is Dave Rossi. His book, Alphas Die Early. Dave,
22:04
Speaker 1: please share with our listeners where they can get your
22:06
Speaker 1: book and find out more about you.
22:08
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you so much. My website is DaveRossiGlobal.com. You
22:12
Speaker 2: can buy the book there. The book's available on Amazon.
22:14
Speaker 2: It was an international bestseller with a really great review
22:17
Speaker 2: by Kirkus, independent review company. And also on Dave Rossi
22:21
Speaker 2: Global on TikTok and Instagram.
22:24
Speaker 1: And we'll be back with more after these words on
22:27
Speaker 1: the OWN Times radio network.
22:30
Speaker 4: The Cutting Edge of Conscious Radio, OM Times Radio, IOM FM.
22:35
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23:01
Speaker 5: More than 24 million Americans have an autoimmune disorder, and
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23:32
Speaker 1: So I'm a cat, and I just moved in with
23:34
Speaker 1: this new human.
23:35
Speaker 6: And she's got this little toy she's always playing with.
23:38
Speaker 2: All day long.
23:39
Speaker 6: Tap, tap, tap, tap.
23:40
Speaker 3: Bloop, bloop.
23:41
Speaker 6: She can't put it down.
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23:51
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23:58
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24:03
Speaker 1: Back on Vox Novus, my guest this week is Dave Rossi.
24:06
Speaker 1: We're talking about his book, Alphas Die Early. Dave, please
24:10
Speaker 1: tell us about your Omega Man framework.
24:14
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I've talked a little bit about it and,
24:17
Speaker 2: you know, it's kind of a funny thing. It's back
24:20
Speaker 2: to the paradox of surrendering yet winning. And I think
24:24
Speaker 2: something very profound happens when we stop becoming biological, you know,
24:30
Speaker 2: slaves and The biology of our body is wired for survival.
24:37
Speaker 2: Our heart pumps blood to live and our lungs pump
24:40
Speaker 2: air to live and our brain thinks to live. In fact,
24:43
Speaker 2: I heard this study that if you take a certain
24:46
Speaker 2: antioxidant called glutathione, your liver will take the nutrients first,
24:52
Speaker 2: if also needed by your brain, which basically means that
24:55
Speaker 2: survival is more important than cognition, even in the human body.
24:59
Speaker 2: And I think that's kind of a metaphor for life.
25:01
Speaker 2: When we stop surviving, we begin actually thriving. When we
25:06
Speaker 2: stop trying to act like animals and realize that we
25:10
Speaker 2: have higher levels of consciousness and cognition and get off
25:13
Speaker 2: of the animal kingdom and the circle of life and
25:17
Speaker 2: stop being slaves to what our biology tells us, that
25:22
Speaker 2: really a lot of profound things happen to us. And ultimately,
25:24
Speaker 2: the shift to an omega is that shift of of self-mastery,
25:28
Speaker 2: of sovereignty, and understanding our thoughts from things like working out,
25:33
Speaker 2: which are very biological, to then stopping and saying, no,
25:37
Speaker 2: there's something bigger than lactic acid and flushed cheeks. Like,
25:41
Speaker 2: I want to win this race, so I'm going to
25:42
Speaker 2: run harder. That spiritual override is really, you know, applying
25:47
Speaker 2: that to so many other aspects of your life is
25:50
Speaker 2: really what the Omega Path is all about.
25:53
Speaker 1: What may corporate leaders learn from the Omega Man Framework?
25:58
Speaker 2: Well, I think we see this in, you know, I've
26:01
Speaker 2: written a lot of articles for CEO World Magazine on leadership. And,
26:05
Speaker 2: you know, a lot of leaders, and certainly I think
26:07
Speaker 2: we might be seeing some of their rhetoric now in politics,
26:11
Speaker 2: spend a lot more time focusing on perception of strength
26:17
Speaker 2: and focusing on image rather than the core issue. And
26:21
Speaker 2: so if you're limited and you have finite brain power,
26:24
Speaker 2: as we all know we do, and energy and time,
26:27
Speaker 2: we realize that we spend, if someone spends a lot
26:30
Speaker 2: of time on image and perception, then it's really not
26:34
Speaker 2: real and it's not sustainable. And I think no one
26:37
Speaker 2: epitomized that phrase better than Dr. David Hawkins in his book,
26:41
Speaker 2: Power Versus Force. And that, you know, when you force things,
26:45
Speaker 2: you need money and energy. And, you know, the English
26:49
Speaker 2: empire in its quest to maintain India used a lot
26:53
Speaker 2: of force and it took a lot of energy and
26:56
Speaker 2: a lot of money. And power is the opposite. It's
26:59
Speaker 2: something that creates energy and is sustainable and doesn't need anything.
27:04
Speaker 2: It's self-propelling. And someone like Gandhi was an epitome of power,
27:09
Speaker 2: as Hawkins would explain. And so that's really what I
27:12
Speaker 2: think needlessly to focus on is that every time they're
27:15
Speaker 2: putting energy, resources, other human resources or financial resources, towards
27:22
Speaker 2: image and perception, they're really taken away from the problem
27:25
Speaker 2: at hand and solutions that are needed for corporate America.
27:30
Speaker 1: You say that ego is the true cause of burnout.
27:33
Speaker 1: How many men began to dismantle that?
27:37
Speaker 2: Well, I have this phrase I use, those who love
27:41
Speaker 2: to walk will walk longer and farther than those who
27:44
Speaker 2: walk to a destination. Ego is all about destination. Ego
27:49
Speaker 2: is always about something's better for me right around the corner.
27:53
Speaker 2: Ego tells you there's always more. And it tells you
27:56
Speaker 2: there's more while searching for more. It just never stops.
28:01
Speaker 2: And it's because ego is a construct of our psyche
28:05
Speaker 2: that when the homo sapien gain cognition, if you've read
28:08
Speaker 2: the book Sapiens, you know, maybe 45,000 or 50,000 years ago,
28:14
Speaker 2: the Homo sapien transitioned into an animal that gained cognition,
28:18
Speaker 2: which created a lot of abilities for higher levels of consciousness.
28:21
Speaker 2: And so what I mean by that is we have
28:26
Speaker 2: to understand there's more to us and apply those levels
28:31
Speaker 2: of consciousness. So anyway, I think it's a slippery slope.
28:37
Speaker 2: And I think as we begin to unravel which is
28:40
Speaker 2: consciousness and which is biological, that's when we see real gains.
28:45
Speaker 1: Absolutely. How does your experience in construction and entrepreneurship shape
28:50
Speaker 1: your philosophy?
28:52
Speaker 2: Well, I think they've been testing grounds for my spiritual
28:56
Speaker 2: principles and values. I think one of the things to
28:59
Speaker 2: be an Omega is to focus on objective reality and
29:02
Speaker 2: objective morality. A lot of us, um, can marginalize and
29:08
Speaker 2: rationalize out of being moral. You know, we say this
29:13
Speaker 2: situation calls that it's okay that I bend the rules
29:16
Speaker 2: a little bit. And I think construction is a testing
29:21
Speaker 2: ground for my practice to remain vulnerable, to remain focused
29:26
Speaker 2: on truth and integrity and objective morals. Because there's so
29:31
Speaker 2: much corruption and it's so easy to get swayed by
29:33
Speaker 2: money and make choices for money that the second you
29:36
Speaker 2: begin to marginalize your morals for money, you're back to
29:40
Speaker 2: survival again. You're back to ego again. You're back to gain.
29:42
Speaker 2: You're back to getting to the lake and not enjoying
29:44
Speaker 2: the walk. And so all these spiritual practices talk about
29:48
Speaker 2: enjoying the journey. And so when I go to work
29:50
Speaker 2: and I build this company and I engage with clients,
29:55
Speaker 2: the second I see a potential job that... maybe a problem.
30:00
Speaker 2: I realize I don't, I want a nice walk. I
30:02
Speaker 2: don't need to get to the lake. So I might
30:04
Speaker 2: say no to those projects. And so I think they're
30:06
Speaker 2: testing grounds. They're challenging grounds to challenge my philosophy. And
30:10
Speaker 2: I think the fact that my company has been very successful,
30:13
Speaker 2: you know, we've doubled in size this year, you know,
30:17
Speaker 2: we do what eight figures a year right now, relatively
30:21
Speaker 2: new company and it's, it's enjoyable. And so I think,
30:25
Speaker 2: I think in business, You have to walk a very
30:28
Speaker 2: thin line on how to apply these spiritual principles, but
30:31
Speaker 2: they truly are challenges that really put you against objective
30:35
Speaker 2: or subjective morality often, and subjective and objective integrity.
30:40
Speaker 1: Speaking from my personal experience, so I was in business,
30:43
Speaker 1: as I shared with you earlier, in my early 40s,
30:46
Speaker 1: I had a problem with my back. And a friend
30:49
Speaker 1: of mine said, have you ever thought about taking yoga classes?
30:52
Speaker 1: And I said, no, but I found a local high
30:56
Speaker 1: school that had evening education and started taking yoga classes.
31:00
Speaker 1: And I became very friendly with the teacher. And she said,
31:03
Speaker 1: you know, I love your voice. Would you like to
31:05
Speaker 1: start facilitating meditation? And I said, of course. And I
31:08
Speaker 1: started facilitating meditation. And we started going on a series
31:11
Speaker 1: of trips to a Zen monastery in upstate New York.
31:15
Speaker 1: And that really expanded my spiritual understanding, my spiritual path,
31:19
Speaker 1: and my spiritual growth in so many different ways. And
31:22
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for that experience and opportunity. You say that
31:26
Speaker 1: meditation is a leadership skill and not a spiritual hobby.
31:30
Speaker 2: Please explain. Well, let me ask you, do you think, Victor,
31:33
Speaker 2: that you would have become as spiritual as you would
31:35
Speaker 2: have had you not meditated?
31:37
Speaker 1: Absolutely not.
31:38
Speaker 4: Yeah.
31:40
Speaker 2: I think it's... I think meditation is such a key piece.
31:48
Speaker 2: If you can't take 10 minutes or 20 minutes a
31:51
Speaker 2: day to do nothing or practice doing nothing, and it
31:54
Speaker 2: is obviously more than doing nothing, but let's just call
31:56
Speaker 2: it the basic minimum activity. If you can't do that
32:00
Speaker 2: to change your life, you're probably not going to change
32:02
Speaker 2: your life. And the power of meditation and leadership is
32:07
Speaker 2: that you're turning off the noise for some period of time.
32:12
Speaker 2: I like to meditate for 15 or 20 minutes. And
32:15
Speaker 2: when you do, your mind is flooded with thoughts. And
32:18
Speaker 2: you're practicing letting those thoughts go. You're practicing sorting through
32:23
Speaker 2: them and not reacting or responding and not having an
32:26
Speaker 2: emotional response to the thoughts that come up. Now, you're
32:28
Speaker 2: not creating these thoughts. Meditation is class. It's something you learn.
32:33
Speaker 2: You're being schooled. And not only are you being schooled,
32:37
Speaker 2: but you're also teaching your mind who's the boss. I
32:41
Speaker 2: think what happens is that if you can't control your
32:44
Speaker 2: mind And your mind controls you. I used to wrestle.
32:47
Speaker 2: And I knew that if I got wrestlers riled up,
32:50
Speaker 2: I would be more successful in beating them. So I
32:53
Speaker 2: would try to find ways to make them angry. And
32:56
Speaker 2: when I would do that, I'd be more successful. So
32:58
Speaker 2: anyone who can get thrown off their path through aggression
33:03
Speaker 2: and then getting aggressive or losing their ability to maintain
33:06
Speaker 2: their thoughts and their reactions is a danger. And I
33:10
Speaker 2: think leaders need to have that kind of self-mastery and
33:13
Speaker 2: sovereignty or you're not really much of a leader. You're
33:15
Speaker 2: only leader as good as you are a situation that doesn't,
33:18
Speaker 2: you know, make you flip out.
33:20
Speaker 1: And what role does vulnerability play in real leadership?
33:25
Speaker 2: Well, I think again, vulnerability is the highest form of strength.
33:30
Speaker 2: As an animal, we're taught to show strength. Peacocks, you know,
33:34
Speaker 2: have flamboyant feathers to show strength. Turkeys puff up their
33:39
Speaker 2: feathers to look bigger. Gorillas pound their chests. Rams ram
33:43
Speaker 2: their horns. As animals, we're taught that strength or the
33:48
Speaker 2: perception of strength is meaningful. And yet as humans, hiding
33:54
Speaker 2: our weaknesses can oftentimes be the biggest and greatest act
33:59
Speaker 2: of weakness we can. Because we are a species and
34:03
Speaker 2: a race and a group of people and community and
34:06
Speaker 2: family and friends and colleagues and coworkers that oftentimes need
34:11
Speaker 2: help in this complex world. And to fight the biology
34:15
Speaker 2: and the push to perceive and to push for the
34:19
Speaker 2: perception of strength is an integrity and it's not objective
34:22
Speaker 2: reality and it doesn't help the group. And so to
34:25
Speaker 2: be a leader, to be vulnerable, again, it's not just
34:29
Speaker 2: spewing vulnerability for the sake of doing it. It's taking
34:32
Speaker 2: accountability and saying, I made a mistake. There's nothing bonding
34:35
Speaker 2: for a team and saying, I made a mistake. Or
34:37
Speaker 2: to say, I'm scared. I might need some help in
34:39
Speaker 2: figuring this out. Those acts of vulnerability are, although go
34:44
Speaker 2: against nature and the very nature of animals and the
34:48
Speaker 2: survival instincts that we all have, but they show immense
34:52
Speaker 2: strength and power. And you use this vulnerability as something
34:56
Speaker 2: that's part of, part of who you are and part
34:59
Speaker 2: of what the group needs. And I think if you're
35:01
Speaker 2: leading a platoon and you say, I don't know the path,
35:04
Speaker 2: I'm not that great at reading this map. I could
35:06
Speaker 2: do some help. You know, that act could save everyone's
35:09
Speaker 2: life to have the vulnerability and share and that I
35:12
Speaker 2: might look stupid that I can't read this map and
35:14
Speaker 2: I might not look like a leader, but the choice
35:17
Speaker 2: to pretend could lead the group into peril. And so
35:19
Speaker 2: I think vulnerability is such an important thing. One, because
35:24
Speaker 2: the results that come from being vulnerable are incredibly rewarding,
35:28
Speaker 2: but two, it shows strength. It shows sovereignty that you're
35:32
Speaker 2: not more focused on the perception of strength, but actually
35:37
Speaker 2: looking for real answers and real solutions.
35:39
Speaker 1: How does the Omega man learn to choose empathy over
35:44
Speaker 1: reactivity in relationships?
35:47
Speaker 2: Well, you know, reactivity is a biological response to stimulus
35:52
Speaker 2: and response kind of, you know, a Viktor Frankl thing,
35:55
Speaker 2: you know, between stimulus and response, there's a small moment
35:58
Speaker 2: in time. It's also that biological component. I've been talking
36:02
Speaker 2: about most of this, this segment that when we were tired,
36:06
Speaker 2: reactivism tired, I'm going to stop running. activity is, is
36:11
Speaker 2: responding to biology. If you're afraid, you know, for example,
36:15
Speaker 2: I learned this with my nephew, we go to this,
36:19
Speaker 2: this place called Sun River, Oregon, and there's a river
36:21
Speaker 2: that goes under this bridge. And we go on vacation there.
36:24
Speaker 2: And every year, we jump off the bridge into this river.
36:26
Speaker 2: And my six year old nephew and my six year
36:28
Speaker 2: old daughter and my boys and all of us jump
36:31
Speaker 2: into this water, except my nephew's afraid. And so his
36:35
Speaker 2: reaction is controlling his body. His reactive behavior is his
36:39
Speaker 2: brain sees danger and his body creates fear. And then
36:44
Speaker 2: it paralyzes his muscles and his, his cousin, my daughter,
36:48
Speaker 2: same age, they're six months apart. She's jumping. Clearly it's safe.
36:52
Speaker 2: Everyone's having fun, but his reactive behavior is to not
36:58
Speaker 2: do this. Now it's, it's, It's not just reactive behavior
37:02
Speaker 2: compared to empathy, but reactive behavior compared to everything. But
37:06
Speaker 2: specifically empathy, if you react to your behavior, react into
37:10
Speaker 2: your programming. My nephew at the time didn't have a
37:13
Speaker 2: high sense of adventure. His parents weren't that adventurous. They
37:16
Speaker 2: were always more cautious. And so your reactive behavior is programmed.
37:21
Speaker 2: And so if you let your programming take over, it
37:24
Speaker 2: might limit your ability to be empathetic. And this is
37:27
Speaker 2: where awareness comes in to realize that. That is your
37:30
Speaker 2: response reactive that was not chosen by you or programmed
37:36
Speaker 2: by your family or your surroundings or your upbringing? Or
37:39
Speaker 2: are you truly choosing empathy or choosing a better, more
37:44
Speaker 2: moralistic response? And that's where I think leaders should step
37:48
Speaker 2: into is the awareness of when these contemplations are stepping
37:55
Speaker 2: in and making you reactive or allowing you to be
37:56
Speaker 2: empathetic or someone that you choose to be. It's called choice.
38:00
Speaker 1: Absolutely called choice. I once worked for someone who would
38:03
Speaker 1: frequently say, and I quote, I may not always be right,
38:07
Speaker 1: but I'm never wrong. This essentially shut down new ideas
38:12
Speaker 1: and growth. What role does listening, really listening to your
38:16
Speaker 1: team and staff play in the Omega model?
38:20
Speaker 2: Well, listening is not zero or one or on and off. It's,
38:25
Speaker 2: it's a, it's a degree. You know, And I learned
38:29
Speaker 2: this again, I read a lot and my fall and
38:32
Speaker 2: my collapse of my life, I read and one of
38:33
Speaker 2: the greatest things I read was seven habits of highly
38:36
Speaker 2: effective people. And one of the aspects of listening was
38:39
Speaker 2: repeating what you heard. And those are the words. The
38:43
Speaker 2: next is repeating what you heard with a slight variation
38:46
Speaker 2: to understand there are nuances potentially to what you heard
38:49
Speaker 2: and your ability to listen. And the third level of
38:52
Speaker 2: listening is to repeat back what you heard and add
38:55
Speaker 2: emotion to it. So when you can listen to the
38:57
Speaker 2: extent that you hear emotion and what emotion the person
39:01
Speaker 2: is sharing when they speak. That is a higher level
39:04
Speaker 2: of listening. And I take it a couple other orders now,
39:08
Speaker 2: which is understanding the emotion, then asking yourself, am I
39:11
Speaker 2: projecting that emotion or is it objectively their emotion? And
39:14
Speaker 2: then the next level of listening is curiosity, asking, hey,
39:18
Speaker 2: I heard you say this and it sounds like there's
39:20
Speaker 2: some fear in your voice. Am I just picking it
39:22
Speaker 2: up or is there truly fear? The next level of
39:25
Speaker 2: listening is to me the fifth order, is adding curiosity
39:29
Speaker 2: to understanding. and reading through the words and understanding word
39:34
Speaker 2: choice selection by that person you're talking to and then
39:37
Speaker 2: emotion and curiosity.
39:39
Speaker 1: My guest is Dave Rossi. His book is entitled Alpha's
39:42
Speaker 1: Die Early. We'll be back with more after these words
39:46
Speaker 1: on the Om Times Radio Network.
39:49
Speaker 7: Humanity Healing International is a small non-profit with a big dream.
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40:19
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40:50
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Speaker 3: to you by the Huntsman Mental Health Institute and the
42:19
Speaker 3: Ed Council.
42:20
Speaker 1: Back on Box Novus, my guest this week is Dave Rossi.
42:24
Speaker 1: His book is entitled Alpha's Die Early. Dave, what do
42:28
Speaker 1: you see as the biggest factor behind the loss of
42:31
Speaker 1: purpose and identity among young men today? And how can
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Speaker 1: your Omega framework help to rebuild it?
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Speaker 2: Well, it's a really loaded question. You know, Purpose is
42:44
Speaker 2: such a confusing thing for a lot of people. So
42:47
Speaker 2: many people talk about, oh, find your why and you'll
42:49
Speaker 2: know your how, which is a great phrase. I think
42:51
Speaker 2: Rumi said it. Nietzsche may have said it as well.
42:55
Speaker 2: It's really powerful. And purpose is really important. You know,
43:01
Speaker 2: Victor Finkel said, you know, a man without purpose is
43:04
Speaker 2: one that seeks pleasure. And the thing with purpose is
43:07
Speaker 2: that there's so much social media and saying that purpose
43:10
Speaker 2: is so many different things. And, and Purpose should not
43:14
Speaker 2: be difficult to find. And I think when people have
43:17
Speaker 2: difficulty finding what they feel is their purpose, then they're trapped.
43:22
Speaker 2: They fall into that trap of searching pleasure, as Frankl
43:25
Speaker 2: would say, or being lost. And purpose, and I write
43:30
Speaker 2: this in Office Diary, is I say life is enough.
43:35
Speaker 2: If you believe that you're alive, and there are 1.7
43:41
Speaker 2: trillion combinations of your DNA to make you here, and
43:44
Speaker 2: you really recognize that you're one in 1.7 trillion, then
43:49
Speaker 2: you would be just happy that you're alive. And that's
43:52
Speaker 2: enough purpose. And when people attach purpose to things like
43:56
Speaker 2: something philanthropic or a career they really love or things
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Speaker 2: that they really get a lot of enjoyment out of
44:02
Speaker 2: or joy, they would say, not even really knowing the
44:04
Speaker 2: difference between internal and external happiness or the definition of joy.
44:08
Speaker 2: And they think that purpose is derived from this happiness
44:11
Speaker 2: level or this benevolence. And then you get bored with
44:15
Speaker 2: that because the biology in us is always evolving and
44:18
Speaker 2: moving and adapting and looking for new things to find
44:21
Speaker 2: happiness and satiation or to be satisfied. When you grab
44:26
Speaker 2: to life as purpose, then it's enough. And you don't
44:31
Speaker 2: need to prove anything to be alive. And it's true.
44:36
Speaker 2: I mean, if a bomb blew off at a restaurant
44:38
Speaker 2: and the paramedics came, everybody would be at the same value.
44:42
Speaker 2: They'd be hurt. And paramedics would just start saving people.
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Speaker 2: They wouldn't say, oh, did you find your purpose? Or
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Speaker 2: what is your purpose? Or is your purpose good enough?
44:49
Speaker 2: Or are you have enough self-worth or self-esteem? They wouldn't
44:54
Speaker 2: save your life based on those metrics. They would just
44:56
Speaker 2: save your life because all of us ultimately are a
44:58
Speaker 2: bag of bones and, and then our skin and our
45:01
Speaker 2: appearance and our height and our, and our, bank account
45:05
Speaker 2: or our car and our house and our clothes begin
45:08
Speaker 2: to play a role in worth and they have no value.
45:11
Speaker 2: And so when you attach purpose to something so much
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Speaker 2: more valuable like life, and I talk about this in
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Speaker 2: a couple of ways in the book, one of them
45:21
Speaker 2: is the phrase life is enough. And the other one
45:25
Speaker 2: is to live every day with what I call funeral wisdom.
45:29
Speaker 2: When you realize that the person that just passed away
45:33
Speaker 2: And you say to yourself, life is short. And then
45:34
Speaker 2: the next day you kind of stop living that. But
45:36
Speaker 2: maybe for the hour at the funeral you did. If
45:39
Speaker 2: you could embody that phrase and make that your purpose.
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Speaker 2: My purpose is to be alive. And that there are
45:46
Speaker 2: endless possibilities in every moment in life. Possibilities in terms
45:50
Speaker 2: of passing away and getting hit by a car. But
45:52
Speaker 2: also the possibilities of meeting an incredible partner or an
45:55
Speaker 2: incredible love or an incredible experience. Then if you can
45:58
Speaker 2: live with that. you might not get so upset with
46:01
Speaker 2: all the details or have stress for not turning in
46:05
Speaker 2: the document on time. And I think purpose is a
46:09
Speaker 2: very slippery slope for young men. And I talk a
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Speaker 2: lot about it in the book and really give some
46:12
Speaker 2: steps on how to connect to that purpose.
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Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting. I had a wonderful spiritual teacher
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Speaker 1: in the 1990s who was well into his eighties at
46:22
Speaker 1: the time. And he used to say, sometimes I wake
46:26
Speaker 1: up in the morning, And I have pain in my
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Speaker 1: legs and pain in my back and pain all over
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Speaker 1: my body. And I say, thank you, God. And people
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Speaker 1: would say to him, you're in pain. Why are you
46:35
Speaker 1: thanking God? He says, because I'm alive. And with life,
46:38
Speaker 1: I have another day of purpose. And he used to
46:41
Speaker 1: say there should have been an 11th commandment. Thou shalt
46:44
Speaker 1: have purpose.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. And I hear so many people talk about purpose
46:48
Speaker 2: in so many ways. And I'm thinking, that's a very
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Speaker 2: complicated explanation of purpose. What if someone can't find that?
46:55
Speaker 2: Purpose does not need to be complicated. It needs to
46:57
Speaker 2: be what you just said that your spiritual teacher explained
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Speaker 2: to you. It is as simple as that. And I
47:01
Speaker 2: wish so many people would have that definition and apply
47:05
Speaker 2: it to their lives because their lives would change when
47:07
Speaker 2: they purely believe that having life is enough.
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Speaker 1: Absolutely. If every man adopted one omega principle today, what
47:18
Speaker 1: would change in business and in families?
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Speaker 2: Well, the first one is higher levels of awareness. You
47:25
Speaker 2: really can't start this journey if you're not aware that
47:28
Speaker 2: you're reactive or that your biology is kicking in or
47:31
Speaker 2: that you're pretending to be strong. If you don't have
47:34
Speaker 2: the awareness to know, most people do want to be better.
47:39
Speaker 2: As someone said, everyone is operating at their highest level
47:42
Speaker 2: of consciousness. And when you have awareness, you can be
47:46
Speaker 2: more objective about what that level is. And the biology
47:49
Speaker 2: in you, which still, again, being spiritual is driving away
47:51
Speaker 2: from that and choosing over that. But having awareness in
47:55
Speaker 2: when biology kicks in and when not will help people
47:59
Speaker 2: strive and see facts differently. Their facts won't be filtered
48:04
Speaker 2: through programming or through experiences or traumas or wounds. That
48:09
Speaker 2: having awareness will at least push people's biological drive to
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Speaker 2: more objective standards, I think would be a really great start.
48:18
Speaker 1: How can fathers break free from outdated models of masculinity?
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Speaker 1: and teach their sons emotional awareness without losing a sense
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Speaker 1: of strength.
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Speaker 2: Well, doing the opposite of what they're doing now might
48:32
Speaker 2: be the most obvious thing. I mean, again, I'm subject
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Speaker 2: to this. Where do they start? They start with being vulnerable.
48:41
Speaker 2: They start with remembering what went through their minds when
48:44
Speaker 2: they were a kid and how afraid they were to
48:47
Speaker 2: admit certain things. I think father's have lost their own
48:53
Speaker 2: connection to themselves. And to be able to remember what
48:57
Speaker 2: it was like to be a young boy and to
48:59
Speaker 2: be afraid and to feel like you didn't measure up
49:01
Speaker 2: or to feel like you weren't as athletic or you
49:03
Speaker 2: weren't as successful as the guy next to you, to
49:05
Speaker 2: remember how that felt and to share that pain with
49:08
Speaker 2: your children. It's such a powerful thing to bond a
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Speaker 2: father and a son, but also such a powerful thing
49:17
Speaker 2: for a father to connect with himself, to have the
49:20
Speaker 2: strength that defies the way modern society defines masculinity and
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Speaker 2: just be a person. Pull yourself away from the culture
49:30
Speaker 2: of masculinity and bring it down just to the granular
49:34
Speaker 2: level of you and your son and you and yourself.
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Speaker 2: I think that would be a good start.
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Speaker 1: How does stillness and presence, not constant problem solving, lead
49:44
Speaker 1: to a better decision making and results in business and life?
49:49
Speaker 2: Well, you know, a lot of problems do solve themselves.
49:53
Speaker 2: I know that the people who are focused on problem
49:58
Speaker 2: solving feel like you need to engage. And I'm not
50:01
Speaker 2: suggesting that you don't engage. I'm suggesting that sometimes having
50:04
Speaker 2: the awareness to watch a problem unfold. You can't force
50:08
Speaker 2: tomatoes to grow. You can't yell at them to grow.
50:10
Speaker 2: You can't give them more water to grow. You can't
50:15
Speaker 2: do a lot. You can do some things. You can
50:17
Speaker 2: make sure they have light and they're pruned and there's
50:19
Speaker 2: vitamins in the soil. But beyond that, you kind of
50:21
Speaker 2: got to wait. And that is a trait that I
50:24
Speaker 2: think a lot of leaders miss is letting things unfold.
50:30
Speaker 2: Lots of times, and this is from a great book
50:32
Speaker 2: called Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss. A lot
50:36
Speaker 2: of us feel like when we negotiate, There's a finite
50:39
Speaker 2: time to do this. And there's a scarcity. And you
50:41
Speaker 2: look at every one selling you something, nine left, two left,
50:46
Speaker 2: buy now, clock's going backwards. This price only available for
50:49
Speaker 2: one more minute. This scarcity is part of biological DNA.
50:55
Speaker 2: We are wired to grab the last nut before we
50:59
Speaker 2: have the faith and the confidence and the hope. The
51:02
Speaker 2: more nuts are around the corner. And so again, I
51:05
Speaker 2: think when you stop surviving, you begin thriving and And
51:08
Speaker 2: so sometimes problem solving is much better done by having
51:12
Speaker 2: some patience and letting it unfold. And I think there's
51:15
Speaker 2: no better example in business than Warren Buffett. When the
51:17
Speaker 2: market's afraid, be greedy. And when the market's greedy, be afraid.
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Speaker 2: And those are 100% the signs of being spiritual and
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Speaker 2: letting things unfold and not going with the herd.
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Speaker 1: Absolutely. And how important is presence, being really present? and
51:36
Speaker 1: listening to your workers and those that you're affiliated with?
51:40
Speaker 2: Well, being present is an interesting word. I think people
51:42
Speaker 2: confuse being present with having your attention in the present moment.
51:46
Speaker 2: Being present is a lifelong challenge of forgetting who you are.
51:50
Speaker 2: You can't have an identity and be present. Because if
51:53
Speaker 2: you think of yourself as a father or have low self-esteem,
51:58
Speaker 2: that's a personality or a way you know yourself that
52:02
Speaker 2: you're bringing into the present moment. And that's not being
52:05
Speaker 2: present because that identity doesn't exist in the present moment.
52:08
Speaker 2: It only exists in your past. It exists as a construct.
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Speaker 2: And so being present means you do not have any
52:15
Speaker 2: identity with the past or past persona, and you don't
52:19
Speaker 2: have any fear of the future. You're not making decisions for,
52:22
Speaker 2: for a fear of the outcome. You're making decisions based
52:26
Speaker 2: on intrinsic value and data, objective data. And it's difficult
52:29
Speaker 2: to look at data objectively. If you're coming in with
52:32
Speaker 2: a wounded trauma into the, So I think it's important
52:36
Speaker 2: that people understand how complicated being present is. And it's
52:39
Speaker 2: not just attention in the present moment, although attention is
52:42
Speaker 2: very important also. And intention is very important, but being
52:46
Speaker 2: present is neither of those. It's letting go of your filters,
52:49
Speaker 2: your programming, your experiences, your beliefs, not from a knowledge perspective,
52:53
Speaker 2: but from an emotional perspective, because it's stress and emotion
52:57
Speaker 2: and fear that block the windshield and the future of
53:00
Speaker 2: our life. And not that we need, the windshield clear
53:03
Speaker 2: to look too far into the future, we need to
53:05
Speaker 2: look right in front of us, like the tree that
53:07
Speaker 2: just fell in front of our car. And so if
53:09
Speaker 2: we have this past pain or trauma or identity, which
53:13
Speaker 2: acts like fog over our windshield, or we look too
53:17
Speaker 2: far past right in front of us, we miss all
53:20
Speaker 2: the important things that are converging at that moment. And
53:24
Speaker 2: that's why being present is so important.
53:26
Speaker 1: In a culture that glorifies hustle, how do you convince
53:31
Speaker 1: high achievers to that slowing down can actually make them
53:34
Speaker 1: more powerful and effective?
53:37
Speaker 2: Well, I think you don't have to look any farther
53:39
Speaker 2: than some of the most respected and successful people on
53:42
Speaker 2: this planet. You know, certainly some of the most successful
53:46
Speaker 2: people that ever lived were calm, slow, peaceful, and still.
53:49
Speaker 2: You know, Jesus, Martin Luther King, Muhammad, Buddha, Confucius, Socrates, Plato, Epictetus, Rumi, um,
54:02
Speaker 2: Marcus really is, you know, and then I think you
54:04
Speaker 2: look at modern day success stories like Michael Phelps who meditates,
54:08
Speaker 2: who finds peacefulness and competition, um, and is not part
54:12
Speaker 2: of the hustle culture. Warren Buffett's a good example. Ray Dalio, um,
54:17
Speaker 2: Oprah Winfrey, a lot of people that embody this, um,
54:22
Speaker 2: path beyond biological reactivity who meditate, who slow things down,
54:27
Speaker 2: who slow time down. They have high levels of consciousness. Um,
54:32
Speaker 2: You know, I think hustle culture is biological and it's
54:35
Speaker 2: cultural and it's animalistic. But people that break beyond the
54:40
Speaker 2: survival find the thriving. And I think there are so
54:45
Speaker 2: many examples of that today.
54:47
Speaker 5: Wonderful.
54:48
Speaker 1: What would you like your readers to take away from
54:50
Speaker 1: Alphas Die Early?
54:53
Speaker 2: Oh boy, there's so much in there. I think I
54:57
Speaker 2: want them to take away from that, that this is
55:00
Speaker 2: their life. And Mark Twain said, you have two lives.
55:04
Speaker 2: And the second one begins when you realize you only
55:06
Speaker 2: have one. And that when you can be sovereign and
55:11
Speaker 2: recognize that, imagine reading a book, Victor, and I said
55:16
Speaker 2: to you, I want you to read this book and
55:19
Speaker 2: you can't go backwards. And this page is filled with
55:21
Speaker 2: tons of information and experiences and knowledge. I want you
55:24
Speaker 2: to read this page. But the second you flip this page,
55:26
Speaker 2: you cannot go back to it. You probably read that
55:29
Speaker 2: page with a lot of distinction and a lot of
55:31
Speaker 2: passion and a lot of care. And that's life. And
55:35
Speaker 2: I want people to walk through life knowing that it
55:38
Speaker 2: matters and they matter and that it's theirs. And every
55:42
Speaker 2: single page is theirs to write and every single page
55:44
Speaker 2: is theirs to turn. But you can't go back. And
55:46
Speaker 2: I think that's what I hope they take away from it.
55:49
Speaker 1: The wisdom of my guest, Dave Rossi, his book, Alphas
55:52
Speaker 1: Die Early. Dave, one more time, please share with our
55:55
Speaker 1: listeners where they can get your book and find out
55:57
Speaker 1: more about you.
55:58
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Victor. My book is on Amazon.
56:00
Speaker 2: It's also in Barnes & Noble and other retailers. My
56:03
Speaker 2: book is also on my website, DaveRossiGlobal.com. You can find
56:08
Speaker 2: me there as well as Instagram and TikTok at Dave
56:10
Speaker 2: Rossi Global.
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Speaker 1: Dave, our gratitude for you joining us today and sharing
56:14
Speaker 1: this very important message.
56:16
Speaker 2: Victor, thank you so much. I had a great time.
56:17
Speaker 2: Amazing questions, really, really deep and insightful. Thank you so much.
56:20
Speaker 1: Thank you. And thank you for joining us on Vox Novus.
56:23
Speaker 1: I'm Victor, The Voice Furman. Have a wonderful week.