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Mark interviews comedian Jackie Martling. · The Mark Simone Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Mister New York, New York marks amount.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: R.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Well. Hey, Jackie Martlin, Jackie the joke Man, the great comedian. Hey,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: he's going to be at We had a lot of
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: listeners in Florida. He'll be at Ventorino's in Estero, Florida, Thursday,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: April sixteenth, that's next next week. Hey. In May, May
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: twenty third, we got to talk to him about this.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: He's going to be at Rodney's. That's the club that
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: was Dangerfields. It's still there on First Avenue in sixty
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: first Street. He'll be there with Rich Harkaway May twenty third.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: You can go to his website, Jackie Martlin, go to
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: jokeland dot com. Jackie Martlin, how you doing right?
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Doing all right? I'm going The sun is out, Babel
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: is beautiful, Spring is finally here. I'm so excited.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Wow, Bayvielle right on the beach. You can't go in
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: the water yet though, right, it's too cold.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: No, No, I'm not crazy. You know there's people that
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: go in every day, but they're out of their minds.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: You know, Hey, can we talk for a minute about Dangerfields?
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: That was I love that place.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: I you know, I haven't been there last time I
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: was there. I was in the audience with Rodney when
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: he recorded his first album, No Respect. Oh yeah, And
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: that was a long time ago. And and I'm excited
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: the guy bought it. And it's the same place. And
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: you know, Rodney's original partner, Tony Bovakua, is still live.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah he lives.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah he lives. You years old. Yeah, he lives in Manhasset.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Tony Bovaqua. He was a great guy. He was
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Rodney's partner. He's the guy that really ran the club.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: And then remember Bobby the matre d. Bobby Campbell, the Englishman.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he was so wonderfully rude with that British
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: accent just made it wonderful.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: He was the toughest matre d, but with the British
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: accent he was like a big muscle man. But he
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: was a great guy.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: And I mean he was he was bursting out of
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: that suit. You know, you expected that suit to explode.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Now, let's talk about Rodney for a second, because everybody's
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: watching on YouTube. Rodney He's so funny and what a
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: sweet man. The real Rodney was not the Rodney's on stage.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: It was quite a competent so he was.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: He was a really good guy. But he really was
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: the guy from the stage. He really was, you know,
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: low and depressed and angry at the world, but not
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: angry at the people he's with. Just he was like,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: you know, he got Delta. When I was with him,
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: he was like, huh, it's too late. You know, it's
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: way too late, because he was just starting to get
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: really big. And they said, Rodney, you're fifty eight years old.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: You didn't live another thirty years. What the hell are
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: you talking about. Oh, it's too late, it's too late,
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But behind the scenes, Rodney was quite the wild guy.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: There were drugs, there were hookers, there was all there's
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: all kinds of stuff going on with Rodney.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Oh yes, and I will attest to that, and that's
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: all I'll say.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: All right, there's a Broadway musical coming. I don't know
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: if it's a musical. It's a Broadway show about Rodney.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Allan's White Bell is writing it. Hopefully they will get
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: into the let's call it the sort of dark side
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: of Rodney. But overall, I had no idea.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: I got to call Alan. I'd love to talk to
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: him about that.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: The thing is the really funny stuff about Rodney is
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: off collar and a little bit lewd. You know. The
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: stories we all get together and tell are not the
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: stories that the Broadway audience wants to hear. Or maybe
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: they do, who knows, you.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Know, No, they're good, hey, But dager Fields was a
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: great besides all the you don't have anything like that anymore.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: It wasn't just a comedy club. They had singers with
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: big name singers would appear, They had a trio, a band.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: It was elegant. You don't see that anymore, do you.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he was all about show business, you know, like
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: you know, it was like a vaudeville club practically, you know, yeah,
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: who knows. All right, I'm telling some jokes here. So
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: a guy comes home from his job at the CIA.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: He says to his wife and son, come on in
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: the kitchen. I want to show you what we've been
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: working on. And they walk in the kitchen and he says,
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: look at this. This is a lie detector robot. I'm
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: going to demonstrate. He says to his son, what'd you
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: do this afternoon? The kid says, I did my homework,
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: and the lie detector robot slaps the kid the kid says,
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: all right, all right, I was it that he's watching
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: a movie. Father says, what kind of movie? Star wars?
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: And the robot slaps the kid again. The kid says,
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: all right, all right, we watched them porn. Father says porn.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: When I was your age, I didn't even know what
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: porn was. And the robot slaps him, and then the
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: wife says, right, he's your son, all right, and the
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: robot slaps the wife. That is. And nowadays they're on
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: the verge of having robots that do all that stuff.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: So it's that joke is going to be back in
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: the forefront.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: You know absolutely, Hey, question number two, Jeffrey Epstein, you
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: knew the guy, and the reason you knew the guy.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Like a lot of wealthy guys, he was a really
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: starstruck you know, chasing after any celebrity he could, right.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: He loved to hang out with comedians.
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  Speaker 2: I didn't know him. I just know he loved jokes
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: and he loved comics, and I went and had dinner
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: and him a couple of times only on the strength
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: of jokes and none to do with women, no, I know,
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: do with celebrity or anything.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Nothing, nothing bad. But he chased after comedians TV people
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: just try to get him over for his dinner parties.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: You know, every everybody, everybody wants to be in show business.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: I don't have to tell you that.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: You know that.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: And enough of this. So guys in bed with the girl.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: He says, you're flat and you're tight. She says, get
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: off my back.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Wait on, all right.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: So a general general's about to go into battle and
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: he can't decide well uniform to wear from. One of
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: his aides says, well, General, whenever Napoleon was about to
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: go into battle, he'd put on a red uniform. That way,
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: if he got wounded men, his men wouldn't be able
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: to see the blood and they wouldn't panic. And the
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: general says, very good, Stekowski, get me my brown uniform.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: A guy calls home and he says, honey, honey, I
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: just won the lottery. Start packing. She says, Should I
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: pack for the beach or to goes skiing? He says,
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: I don't care where you go, just get out. So
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: two guys are sitting at a bar when the first
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: guy pulls down his zipper and starts peeing into a
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: beer bottle. The second guy says, what are you doing?
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: He says, this stuff is so good, I'm gonna drink
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: it again. Tell the family's sitting at the dinner table.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: When the wife says to her father, Pop, Pop, do
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: you want to be buried or cremated? He says, surprise me,
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: I love that. All Right, here's a bad one.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Mark, those weren't bad. Okay, here's a bad one.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: What's the difference between making love to a girl with
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: arms and making love to a girl without arms? Oh
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: my god, if you're making love to a girl without arms, said,
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: it pops out? You have to put it back Hereay.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Wait, this is a family show.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: Here, nobody gets fair. If you can follow that, you're
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: find so drunk. A drunk stumbles into confessional. The priest
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: hears them in, but they doesn't hear anything. So the
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: priest bangs on the wall. The drunk says, forget it, buddy,
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: there's no paper in this one either.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: Hey, let me ask you a question. A million years ago,
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: you watched Don Rickols. You can make ethnic jokes, you
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: could make racial joke, you could make dirty and uh,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: the world has changed, but not, I mean you kind
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: of still do any kind of joke, right, Yeah, you know.
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  Speaker 2: But I've never been horribly offensive, you know, I total
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: line and and and stomp it on it a little bit,
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: you know. But it's if you're not People could tell
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: when you're being offensive and when you're being mean. If
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: anybody sees me on stage and thinks being mean, they
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: have to be out of their minds, because all I'm
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: trying to do was make people laugh. And they know that.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Yeahs used to say that. They could see I'm a
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: nice guy. They could see I don't mean anything.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Just you know, a little schlump, you know, all right.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: So a woman calls dirty Johnny's mother and says, I
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: caught your son playing doctor and nurse with my eight
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: year old daughter. Johnny's mother says, well, they're bound to
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: be curious about sex at their age. The girl's mother says,
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: curious about sex? He took her appendix out. I don't know,
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: and I just love this. So a girl is sitting
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: at the bar drinking next to a blonde and she
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: says to the blonde, I slept with a Brazilian last night.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: The blonde says, who you must be so sore? How
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: many is the Brazilian? Hey, hello to the boys at
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: Babeville Seafood. They are so excited. The whole world is
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: buying shrimp and fish and alibat and lobster. Bayvielle just
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: comes alive. It's almost like when the flowers bloom. SODA's Babel,
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Bagel's a beautiful town that's right on the beach.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: It's all beach. It's beautiful. It's right next to what's
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: next to Locust Valley, and.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: It's the place time for good.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: It's so funny because everybody around here that the amount
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: of money is just frightening. I've been watching the Rupert
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: Murdoch thing, you know, and he actually bought the house
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: that my brother's high school girlfriend lived in way back
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: in high school on Center Island Road. And it was
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: funny because at the time Rupert Murdoch was married to
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: this Asian woman named Wendy, and the famous composer that
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: did the James Bond stuff. He lived there at the
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: John John Berry John Barry, and he was married to
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: a young Asian and Billy Joel was married to like
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: a twenty two year old girl. And I knew a
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: guy that used to clean John Barry's pool and he said,
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: those three women would sit around the pool and you know,
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: drink and laugh, and I would love to be a
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: flyer in the war for that conversation. You know. You know,
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: how did you nab your billionaire?
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: You know? Uh, yeah, no, baby. You know who else
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: lives in Bayville? The great songwriter Jimmy Webb lives in Bayville.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know. I was just at a studio
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: the other day. My ex wife is making an album. Uh,
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: she actually doing one of my songs, and the guy said, oh,
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: Jimmy's coming in tomorrow.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a local yogle. Everybody loves him, you know,
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: and he's a real good character.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: He's married to Laura Savini, a great PBS host, and.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: You know, you know what, you know, you believe this?
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: When I met her, it was so long ago that
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: Howard and Fred and Robin and Gary all came to
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: have dinner with me and Nancy at our house in Bayville,
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: and Gary's date was Laura Savini.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: What a long time ago?
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Can you believe? That? I said? Were just the combination
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: of it being Laura and Howard actually coming to baybel
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: to my house for dinner. You know, it puts a
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: time stamp on how long ago?
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: You know, Hey, we only got about thirty seconds left.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Give us some one more great joke.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: So a kid is in the bathroom when his father
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: comes out of the shower. He looks. He says, Pop,
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: what's that thing that's hanging there? He says, Son, that's
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: a penis. In fact, Son, it's a perfect penis. But
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: the next day, the kid's playing with the girl next
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: door and she says, come on, Johnny, pull down your pants.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: I want to see what's going on. So he pulls
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: down his pants and she points between his legs. She says,
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: what's that? He says, it's a pence.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: That's Thursday. If you're in Florida, April sixteenth, Thursday night,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: seven o'clock Venturino's Astero, Florida. And like we were talking
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: about Dangerfields, it's now called Rodney's. Jackie Martlin will be
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: appearing there Saturday, May twenty third. It makes you you
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: go to his website jokeland dot com. Joke Rodny's is.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: I think it's almost sold out. Well, I haven't been
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: there so long. Be with Rich Harkaway is my regular
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: opening act, and the place is looking great. It's it's
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: coming alive again, which is so great.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and if you want to Jackie Martlin cameo video
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: easy to get you just go to cameo dot com
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: slash Jackie Martling, Jackie Martlin, thanks for being with us.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: And one more time, hello to the boys at Bagel Seafood.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: I'll see you later today. We haven't shrimped tonight. Thanks Marko,
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: talking very soon.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Take care. Hey, don't forget uh Buck and Clay coming
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: up at noon today. And you know Curtis is back.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: You can hear Curtis sliwa. He's on every morning with
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Larry Minti here on seven ten WR